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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29139813">A Spanner In The Works</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TalksToSelf/pseuds/TalksToSelf'>TalksToSelf</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Miraculous Ladybug</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Akumatized Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Akumatized Main Character(s), Discussion of Abortion, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I promise there is so much fluff in later chapters, Panic Attacks, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Assault, Slow Burn, Trauma, discussion of eating disorders, discussion of miscarriage, intimacy issues</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 07:47:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>171,284</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29139813</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TalksToSelf/pseuds/TalksToSelf</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A night with an akumatised Cat Noir leaves Ladybug dealing with the aftermath on her own, barely able to look her friend in the eye, blaming herself, terrified of touch and struggling to navigate a blooming relationship with Adrien Agreste.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>407</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>593</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Please read content warnings. There is sexual content from the first chapter, including (but not limited to)!sex with an akumatised character.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The night air was still, the late spring offering no breeze to bother her hair. A distinct lack of clouds meant stars were just about visible over the city, this close to the centre of Paris the lights people so revered robbed them of their number but not their beauty. Ladybug smiled gently at the serenity of it, hoping the night’s patrol wouldn’t be as awkward as previous ones. </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Things had been a <em>little</em> tense. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>After years of pining over Adrien Agreste, she’d found herself gradually easing away from loving him. The fantasies of a house, three kids and a hamster morphing casually into more laid back future with images of the four friends hanging out and eating pizza in dorm rooms. Did she still occasionally get a little weak kneed when he beamed at her like she was the most precious thing in the universe... yes, but still the house, three kids and a hamster remained. Someone else lived there with her now, in her head. A nameless, faceless blond boy with mischief in his eyes and a tongue that stuck out in youthful defiance at her choice of name for the hamster. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sadly it seemed her affections were once again misplaced. Telling Cat Noir, a few weeks earlier, that she’d developed feelings for him had not been met with the cocky lines and shy kisses the eighteen year old heroine had expected. Instead he’d very awkwardly told her that he’d spent a long time trying to get over her, and was in love with another girl in his real life. He bore her no ill will, and she knew he hadn’t intended to hurt her, his tone apologetic and gentle. She wished him well, even though it cut her up, and he insisted he wasn’t going to make a move on the other girl any time soon (having learned his lesson about falling too hard and too fast before). </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>But things had been stilted between the pair since. Akuma attacks brought them back to their usual levels of synchronicity, with neither missing a mark or letting the other down. Shared patrols were quieter, more somber affairs, with neither knowing quite how to speak to the other with their standard banter seeming too much like flirtation. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She hoped they’d recover from it soon, the distance between them feeling like a punishment of sorts, but perhaps if they didn’t it was a warning, a cautionary tale to prove that it was the right call for the universe to make. If they couldn’t survive remaining as close as they had been through unrequited feelings, they probably shouldn’t have dated anyway: a break up was probably a way bigger deal. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Hearing him land behind her, she smiled. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Evening, Kitty.” She greeted, without looking around. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Evening, Ladybug.” Ladybug. No more My Lady. She missed the moniker, but supposed she only had herself to blame. <em>She who hesitates</em> and all that. He sighed after his greeting, as though he heard the change aloud too, and sat himself beside her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We circling the bars tonight? I figure it’s a Saturday night so there’s probably going to be more...” Ladybug began, a plan in mind. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Not yet. I need to talk and I need you to listen.” Cat Noir cut in. Ladybug abandoned her sentence and nodded, lowering her gaze to her lap. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“This... this is messed up.” He said eventually. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Now you know how I felt for years.” She murmured, before retreating a little. She hadn’t meant that, but his features at a glance showed he wasn’t hurt by her words. They were true after all. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I genuinely thought I had a shot with this other girl. She’s amazing, she’s smart, she’s funny, she’s unbelievably kind...” He said wistfully. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ouch. We’re fine, we’ll be okay, I promise... but can we not wax lyrical about your girlfriend, please?” She pleaded, her voice quiet. Cat Noir shook his head. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Not my intention I... this is coming out all wrong. See the thing is... she’s one of the most fantastic people I’ve ever met and I could see myself being happy with her.” Cat Noir’s leather belt flicked behind him in agitation, like a real cat’s tail would. “But she’s not you.” He concluded. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ladybug didn’t know exactly what she was supposed to say to that. That was the point, wasn’t it? That he was in love with someone else? She stared out over the city again, losing herself in the lights. The spring air felt suddenly too cold, and she wrapped her arms around herself.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I kind of want to be angry about it.” Cat Noir confessed. “Like... why now? It felt like you picked the worst possible moment to fall for me...” He said miserably. She held her own arms tightly for comfort.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“In my defence if I’d known you were over me I wouldn’t have brought it up.” Ladybug mumbled, wondering what he was getting out of this guilt trip. Beside her, he leaned back onto his elbows, staring skyward at the stars. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“That’s just the thing.” He said, green eyes reflecting the heavens. “I’m <em>not</em> over you. I’m never going to be over you, am I?” He didn’t sound happy about it, and Ladybug was wrong footed once more. He <em>wasn’t</em> over her? “If I’d chased the other girl, if I’d been braver or less... awkward... if she’d felt the same... you falling for me would mess me up just as much as it did before I’d made a move.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well I’m sorry my feelings are such a burden,” she said waspishly, turning her head. “I’ll keep my mouth shut next time.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Listen to me.” Cat Noir whined, frustrated. “I’m not mad at you, Bug. I’m mad at me.” He explained. “At the realisation that this amazing girl I know... the one I thought I loved... I... I’d have hurt her. One way or another I’d never have been truly faithful.” He said miserably. “If you hadn’t told me then I’d have been holding her to this... impossible mantle. I’d have been forcing her into a relationship where she came second to a girl she could never know about. I’d have abandoned dates with her in a heartbeat to come chase butterflies with you. And if you’d told me and she and I <em>were</em> together...” he trailed off, leaving the fact he’d have probably broken up with the girl unsaid. “Whichever way you cut it... I’d have hurt her. And I’m angry at myself for that. She deserves better.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ladybug drew her knees up, hugging them instead of her arms as she felt Cat’s gaze on her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m sorry I have terrible timing?” She offered by way of an apology. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Probably saved everyone a lot of heartbreak in the long run.” He conceded. “I needed time to think about it. To I don’t know... process it, I guess.” Cat Noir’s explanation made sense, and her rising hopes kept creeping further and further upward. “I love you too.” He said softly, words carrying in the still air. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ladybug turned her head toward him, and found he’d rolled slightly toward her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“If you tell me you’ve changed your mind I’m going to throw myself off the building.” He joked, a small smirk appearing. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I haven’t.” Her promise came with a small laugh. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Good. We’re okay then?” He questioned. She nodded and slowly lay herself back to be parallel with him. A gloved hand reached out hesitantly, and she tracked its path with her gaze until it rested on her cheek, the tips of his claws just brushing her earlobe. “Does this mean I can kiss you?” He wondered in quiet awe. Racing heart aside, she gave another gentle nod closing the gap between their masked faces.  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>His kiss was a little fiercer than she’d anticipated, but no less welcome. She supposed having feelings that had been forced into submission finally reciprocated was a reason to be confident all on its own, and met his ferocity with a spark of her own desire, working their mouths open. The hand that had caressed her cheek so tentatively wound tightly into her hair, disturbing her left pigtail. She couldn’t find it in herself to care, drawn to him like a magnet as the space between their bodies became nonexistent. The chill that had crept over her replaced with soothing body heat as they embraced. She couldn’t think now, why she’d expected him to be shy, not as his tongue roamed her mouth with reckless abandon. They were <em>finally</em> kissing! </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>A gentle topple and he was on top of her, pinning her to the rooftop, their kiss unbroken. She threaded the fingers of her left hand through his own golden locks, her right resting comfortably on his hip until he tore himself back, only straying as far as resting their foreheads together. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Have to stop.” He murmured dazedly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Nuh uh.” She countered, dragging him back down for another kiss. He happily obliged but there was a hesitation now, the moment she realised that she let go, staring up at him in confusion. “What’s wrong, Chaton?” She asked softly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>His soft laugh was barely a huff of breath against her face. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Nothing wrong.” He promised her, kissing the tip of her nose, the tiny affectionate gesture causing her to beam. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Then why are we stopping?” She wondered, bewildered. The look he gave her was sheer adoration, but the laugh was low and dirty. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Because if we keep going you’re about to get a baton where you ought not to.” He explained. She took a moment to process the implication and then giggled. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“<em>Oh</em>.” She realised, oddly enthralled with the idea. She could turn Cat Noir on with just a bit of heavy kissing? Had she always had that power?</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He kissed her cheek instead, in a much more innocent gesture. Compelled to see just how far her newfound ability extended, Ladybug met his lips once more for another kiss, meeting no form of protest and causing his hand to tighten ever so slightly in her hair, the heel of his palm against her earring. A few more, slightly more cautious flicks from Cat’s tongue had her dizzy, and seemingly when he realised she wasn’t bothered by his condition he relaxed atop her, the offending appendage pressing hard against her thigh. That was... new. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>While Ladybug had technically never kissed anyone other than Cat Noir, Marinette had, but certainly nothing as heavy as this, nothing so bold as a leather clad erection to compliment her on her kissing prowess. She preened under the attention, both curious and excited at the prospect. It wasn’t like it could go much further anyway, Cat Noir’s zipper stopped around the middle of his waist, she doubted he could slip it free of his shoulders given how form fitting it was, and her own suit didn’t even offer a zipper that would expose her upper body. Getting carried away wasn’t on the cards, so this was just... an exploration. One she was happy to embark on. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She shuffled a little beneath him, until her hips were level with his. He growled, biting her lip very gently. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Playing a dangerous game there, my lady.” He whispered, and she tried to avoid showing her hand too much in how much she’d <em>missed</em> that nickname. She failed miserably to keep it off of her face and the adoring look he gave her told her so. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Maybe your lady likes a little danger.” She replied sagely, giving an experimental roll of her pelvis and shuddering at the sensation of leather against vinyl. Her suit was thinner than his, she assumed it was the equivalent of two regular civilians being in their underwear and a pair of jeans respectively. She could feel the heat of his skin, but only just. He pressed back, quirking an eyebrow to confirm it was okay. Blushing a little she nodded, tipping his chin upward to kiss him once more. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>This time their making out was punctuated by curious hips meeting each other, trying to find a rhythm. Initially timid, and then more bold, Cat Noir rocked against her, finally breaking the kiss only to settle at the bolt of her jaw so he could mumble. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Can you... like this are you able to...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“To?” She breathed, tipping her neck to give him better access. Another breathy laugh against her throat, before his lips caught the shell of her ear. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“To get off?” He asked softly, teeth scraping her earlobe. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh.” She murmured, flushing. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Exactly that - <em>Oh</em>.” He chuckled, nipping her ear once more. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t think so.” Ladybug admitted, a little embarrassed. She wriggled her hips slightly to change the angle, so each time his clothed crotch brushed hers he bumped against a particularly sensitive bundle of nerves she knew well enough having explored on her own. But the sensation was too muffled, stifled by the fabrics in between. “You?” She wondered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Close but not quite.” The frustration in his tone was evident. He kissed her neck, tender, soft, a hint of that wicked tongue that had already so intoxicated her. She wanted <em>more</em>. Wishing there was a way to convey that beyond clunky words she couldn’t find to articulate, she lowered her right hand, squeezing his ass and pressing him closer to her.  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The groan he muffled in her throat in response felt like a reward and her confidence soared. He nipped her neck and her legs widened a little in a conscious effort to bring them closer. Unabashedly rutting against her brought them both closer to a peak, she could feel a dampness between her legs that she’d have been embarrassed about under different circumstances but it only seemed to fuel his attempts. It soon became apparent though, that as delightful as it felt, it wasn’t quite enough for either of them. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We really do need to stop.” He sighed against her throat. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t want to.” She whined, pouting so adorably he couldn’t resist the urge to kiss that bottom lip. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Me.” Another kiss. “Neither. But I...” kiss. “Don’t think you actually want to lose your virginity on a rooftop in the middle of the city centre now, do you?” He wondered, pulling back to assess her expression. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ladybug hesitated. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t think we even can.” She lamented. His gaze flicked down, and very cautiously he cupped one of her breasts through the suit, causing her back to arch slightly upward. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We can.” He mumbled. “I... might have already had this conversation with Plagg.” He bit his lip, as though worried this information was going to get him into trouble. Beneath him, his Lady tipped her head in curiosity. “I’m pretty much the only being in the world that can rip this...” he told her, brushing his clawed thumb over the swell of her breast and marvelling in the reaction it caused, her nipple pebbling to stand to attention. “Won’t hurt Tikki.” He added. “And the kwamis don’t care about... stuff like that.” He clarified. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ladybug hummed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“And just why were you having a conversation about whether or not we can fuck?” She wondered, mildly amused. He gasped, she’d have believed him to be actually offended if not for the exaggerated expression. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“My lady! Such vulgarity!” He exclaimed, continuing to pretend to be shocked. She gave him a pointed look. “Okay so I... might have had one too many dreams about this to not be curious.” He murmured in confession. He gave her breast a gentle squeeze and she curled upward to the touch again. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Same apply for your suit?” She wondered. He nodded. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes. We don’t have to...” he added quickly. “I mean I know the roof isn’t that comfortable and it should be romantic... there should be candles and music and...” he began backtracking very rapidly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ladybug threw her head back, surveying the scenario and wrinkling her nose a little. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We have the moonlight, the stars... each other.” She summed up, oddly calm. “Seems fairly romantic to me...”. He dipped his head and kissed her, as determined as the first one, but perhaps with a new goal in mind. Before their motivation had simply been to kiss, to show their affections, to cement their relationship. Something altogether more carnal at the forefront of both of their minds headed this kiss, and the kisses that followed it. She heard the neat rip of a claw through fabric, and he backed off momentarily to check with her. Dazedly she realised he’d cut along the middle of her chest, the material sliced neatly down the middle to just below her breasts, but it remained closed like an unbuttoned blouse draped over her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She licked her bottom lip carefully before nodding. His glove still provided a barrier, but one hand caressed her bare collarbone and she lost all semblance of thought as each stroke of his paw brought him closer and closer to... his hand slipped under the fabric and (claws carefully retracted) he cupped her bare breast. She’d always been a little curious as to what happened to her clothes when she transformed, her question now answered - apparently she was bare beneath the magical suit. The moan she made startled him slightly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Okay, I might have been able to finish with what we were doing earlier if you’d sounded like <em>that</em>!” He said. She turned a scarlet to rival her damaged clothing. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Don't... don’t make it a thing.” She mumbled. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh it’s definitely a thing!” He nipped at her jaw, sucked a mark at her throat and slowly lapped his way further down. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She watched, fascinated as he placed kisses over her sternum, the top of her chest, then carefully tugged the fabric open as if it were a shirt. Ladybug wasn’t sure if it was the exposure to the night air or the lustful gaze Cat Noir fixed her with that caused the shiver to shoot down her spine but she was transfixed at the sight. Settling his weight on his knees to free his other hand from where it had been supporting him, he stroked her from her shoulders downward, feeling where magical vinyl switched to soft skin. He silently cursed his gloves, laying his hands on both of her breasts and kneading the flesh carefully. He tested the weight of each of them in his palms, brushed the hardened peaks with his thumbs, and splayed his fingers apart over them.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He seemed fascinated, and Ladybug, while slightly delirious, was curious. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Have you ever done this before?” She wondered. The look on his face was strange, for only a moment he seemed to struggle with the question, but then he shook his head. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No... you?” He asked carefully. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No.” She agreed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Tell me if I’m doing anything wrong?” He asked, and she saw his tail swish behind him in glee. Clearly he was plotting. She gave a cautious nod and his head ducked down. He started at her collarbone, giving her a clear indication of his intentions, kissing slowly downwards until his lips met his fingertips at the apex of her curves, cautiously lowering until his tongue flicked at her nipple. She gasped and he hesitated. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“G-good.” She insisted. He continued, clearly a little proud of himself as he kissed and swirled his tongue over the peak, enjoying the soft noises of approval now he recognised them for what they were. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He worried the nipple between his teeth gently and received a whimper in response. He bucked his hips automatically against her. Nudging him to the left a little he took the hint, switching to her other breast to bestow the same attention to it. The chill of the night air on her saliva slicked skin only seemed to remind Ladybug of just how hot the rest of her body was becoming under his ministrations, she was burning up, and her volume increased with every clever pass of his tongue. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Pulling away with an all too lurid pop as his mouth abandoned her skin, he stared down at her in awe. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I love you.” He reminded her. She smiled dazedly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I love you too.” She promised, sliding her hand to the zipper beneath where his bell should be. It was missing. She didn’t think too much on it, given how often he lost it, instead tugging the pull on his zip down and opening the suit as far as was possible, exposing a large V of bare skin down his torso. She let her hands roam freely, exploring his chest with the same reverence he’d offered hers. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Getting a little uncomfortably tight here...” he whispered. “Could I...” she nodded with a shade too much enthusiasm, watching as he sat himself up and tore a claw down from the bottom of his zipper. He hadn’t intended the motion itself to be obscene, she was sure of that, but it was effectively unwrapping a gift she hadn’t expected, watching as the hard planes of his stomach and lower abdomen were exposed first, then his erection was on display. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She’d never actually seen one in person, and while Alya had explained an awful lot, it didn’t compare to the real thing. Her first instinct was to touch, reaching across and taking him in her gloved hand. He hissed and she immediately retracted her hand, eyes wary. His gaze changed briefly, for a moment she suspected he was panicking but he relaxed almost immediately. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“S...s’fine.” He stammered. “Good. Just... caught me by surprise.” He mumbled, pressing his nose against her neck. Hesitantly she trailed her fingertips downward from his collarbone, offering him a little warning this time, and when her hand wrapped around him for the second time he didn’t object, only rolled his hips into her touch. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ladybug was half tempted to ask him to free her hands, to cut the suit away like gloves, but the worry that her fingertip callouses from sewing incidents would give her away prevented her from asking. She wanted to really feel him, but settled for the gloved touch, stroking him until a small damp patch formed at the heel of her glove. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Thought that only happened with girls...” she murmured, fascinated as she saw the physical evidence of his arousal. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Guys too.” He laughed, his tone a little higher than usual. “Bug... if this is as far as you want to go tonight, that’s fine.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m... surprisingly okay with this.” She breathed. “Do you want to stop?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“God no. I want...” he groaned as her thumb swept the head of his cock, swallowing hard as the words died on his tongue. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What?” She whispered. “What do you want?” He bit his lip, clearly torn between losing himself in the steady rock of her hand and asking for what he really wanted. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>His own hand slid between her legs, massaging the damp fabric gently, and cocking an eyebrow in silent question. The nod she gave dislodged her already rumpled pigtail enough to free half of it from the hair tie, and he tilted his head in curiosity. The hand that wasn’t toying with her rose up and with a flash of his claw her ribbon fell away completely. He repeated the gesture on the other side, seemingly as fascinated by her hair down as he had been by her nudity. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We’ll add that to the list of weird turn ons?” She laughed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I like seeing you like this.” He whispered dazedly. “But I think I’d like seeing you like this a little more.” She’d already given him permission, so the motion shouldn’t really have surprised her, but a twist of his hand to gather the fabric over her crotch away from her skin and the swipe of a claw left her completely exposed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>If there was to be a moment where she changed her mind, she was fairly certain that was it, arms and legs still covered but naked where it mattered, in a surreal sort of reverse bikini beneath his gaze, but his gaze solidified her resolve. His green eyes only held love and admiration and she’d never been more certain.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Fascinated by the sight of her, spread and bare before him, his hand moved to cover her. She flinched and panic shot through his expression, retreating hurriedly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Claws!” She squeaked. He watched as a small bead of blood formed where he’d lain his claw and suddenly looked as though he wanted to do nothing more than run. Even retracted, they couldn’t press against her. The cut was tiny, a pinprick against her outer labia that barely registered as painful, but the implication was clear. “It’s okay, kitty.” She reassured. “Could you cut your glove off?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I hurt you...” he whispered, appalled. She shook her head. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s fine.” She promised him. He held up his right hand to show her his miraculous.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Can’t take this off without showing you who I am...” he lamented. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You can’t use your left?” She wondered. He just looked awkward, traces of the same terror were creeping in. She kissed him to quell his concerns and slipped her own wrist into his right hand. “Guide me then.” She murmured against his lips, amazed as he fell under her thrall once more, enticed at the prospect. He drew her hand down her body, eyes glued to her like a magnet. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He watched as she brushed her own gloved fingers against her sex, two slender red clad digits rubbing slowly against her clitoris. Flickering his watch briefly to her face she felt a little enamoured at the look but bit her lip and avoided smirking to cover it as she pushed a finger inside herself. He sat back a little, entranced with the show as she opened herself up. Staring at the slick fingers dipping slowly into her body, he swallowed hard, and she could tell by the way his cock twitched he was fantasising about what it would feel like when he replaced her. She moaned softly and his tongue darted out to caress his bottom lip, at this angle she couldn’t kiss him, focusing instead on working herself into a frenzy under his watchful eye. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Breathless, aroused, and as ready as she’d ever be, she withdrew her hand and dragged him down by his collar for the kiss she’d been craving. If he was startled by the gesture he didn’t object, rearranging himself into a comfortable position over her as they kissed. Feeling a hard length probing against her intimate area only further fuelled her, pushing her hips to meet his, sliding his shaft along her slit. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Please...” she panted against his cheek. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She’d expected pain, Alya had warned her it could hurt, but was pleasantly surprised at enjoying the odd stretching sensation as he eased his length into her, stalling twice either due to respect or hesitation before seating himself fully. Almost missing the whispered </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I love you,” against her ear as she adjusted to the oddity of it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I love you too.” She promised. “You can move.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Doesn’t hurt?” He wondered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No. No it’s...” he withdrew his hips experimentally and when he pressed back down her eyes rolled back. “It’s good.” She promised, a little short of breath. With him pinning her in such a way as to surround her, and his cock throbbing inside her to fill her, she felt entirely wrapped up in him, and never wanted the moment to end, chasing him back with her heels against his backside every time he withdrew. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Soft ahs and ohs punctuated the night air as they found a rhythm for their dance. In battle they synchronised, anticipating each other’s moves in order to succeed: they made love the same way, meeting each other half way with every dip, thrust and kiss in time. Every moan offered was swallowed by their partner, every gasp met with an echo. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I have never more than this moment wished that I...” he murmured, nipping her earlobe, teeth dangerously close to her miraculous. “Knew your name.” And oh was she tempted, the way her walls clenched at the suggestion, trying to pull him impossibly further inside her. How fantastic it would sound to hear her own name called in the broken cry of ecstasy. Not that it was an option. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Your Lady is fine.” She purred. He groaned, but the frustrated bucking of his hips perhaps a little sharper than before worked for her so she couldn’t bring herself to regret it.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“G-good.” She panted. He smirked. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh really...” He hummed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Mmhmm.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well, in that case...” He pulled away, sitting back on his knees between her legs and dragging her hips up to meet him, tipped backwards so her shoulders still lay against the roof top. “Maybe I should be less of a kitten and more of a panther?” He snapped his hips sharply and she was lost, the sensation entirely different - somehow filling her more and causing her toes to curl. He didn’t aim to hurt, but his strokes were much rougher, perhaps aided by the view. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ladybug knew she was on display like this, and aside from a fleeting hope that the news helicopter didn’t decide to fly over, she found she really didn’t mind, enjoying the heat of his gaze she used one of her own hands to cup her bare breast and slid the other down her body, up the slope of his legs to where they joined. The guttural groan that left his throat remained unstifled this time, with no kiss to silence him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The angle left her completely at his mercy, and soft declarations of love and whispered adorations fell by the wayside as presumably (in his own words) the panther took over from the kitten. His eyes were glazed and brain apparently completely offline as he slammed into her, her own fingers forming a V to add mounting pressure to her clit as she began to tremble with his efforts. Each lunge took her higher, a peak fast approaching. From stories her friends had told her, she hadn’t actually expected an orgasm her first time - Cat was clearly more attentive than she’d given him credit for. Her skull scraped the concrete below her as her back arched, but any sense of pain was dulled by the sudden shockwave of pleasure that rippled through her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Every nerve ending in her body suddenly aflame, she was happy to burn up with it, barely noticing his jaw clenching as his rhythm lost all sense of pacing when her walls gripped him. Her shout as she hit her peak was met with a subdued grunt and a pulse from within. Dazedly, he slowed down as they twitched and heaved breaths stolen by noises of the moment. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Should probably have pulled out...” he murmured belatedly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m on the pill.” She said in breathless reassurance. “But condoms next time.” To be doubly safe. He collapsed beside her, arms coming round her waist to tug her into a cuddle.  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The harsh breath against the junction of her neck and shoulder was the only warmth, the night air suddenly nipping at her exposed skin. All in all, she was unashamed. A rooftop was probably not ideal for a first time, but it seemed oddly appropriate for them: and certainly beat the back seat of a car like some of her peers, or a closet like Alya and Nino. Smiling to herself she allowed herself the contentment. She was with someone she loved and that mattered more than location. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ladybugs should fix our suits.” He whispered, nuzzling her, apparently more bothered by their public nudity than she was. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Gimme a minute.” She groaned, shuffling further into his embrace. He bit her earlobe softly. “Why do you keep doing that?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Forgive me a little affection, my lady.” He complained.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Not mad, Chaton, just watch the earrings.” She hummed, not moving from her position to toss her yo-yo and call for a lucky charm. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Since turning 18, she could perform the skill multiple times without her costume timing out. Cat Noir’s adult powers had kicked in months before her own. Strange that until that day she hadn’t realised he was older than her. A red and black spotted spanner fell into her hand and she threw it lazily into the air without questioning what a spanner could imply. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Miraculous Ladybug.” She whispered. The sensation of a tiny flurry of bugs knitting her shredded costume back together over over-sensitive skin was bizarre, and one she supposed she’d have to get used to given their secret identities. Her loose hair returned to pristine ribboned bunches. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She leaned back, against his chest, content to relax. She found him oddly silent, but didn’t dwell on it, warm, happy and safe in his arms until a cold voice emanated from her back. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“That <em>wasn’t</em> what I wanted.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hm?” She turned round in his arms and was horrified to see a pink butterfly mask over his eyes, his head hung low. She struggled a little, only able to leave the ring of his embrace as he was distracted. Scrabbling away she gasped in horror. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Because unless she’d missed a butterfly in the last two minutes, Cat Noir had been akumatised for the entire affair. Her blood ran cold at the notion. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’ll get them, Hawkmoth. Although I think our cover is blown. Pity.” Cat Noir’s tone was mechanical, as the mask faded away. Instead he smirked. “Come on now, Bug. I don’t know why you’re so surprised I already told you I’m in love with someone else.” Her eyes widened as she realised the extent of his lies. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Cat!” She hissed, eyes roaming his body to try find the affected object. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hurts doesn’t it? Difference is I never let it impact our friendship and you... well the world just crumbles around <em>you</em> and what <em>you</em> want doesn’t it?” He mocked her, twirling his baton. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The bell around his neck was jet black, and belatedly she realised why it had been missing during their romp - he must have pocketed it so she wouldn’t notice the discolouration. Her stomach sank, the Ladybugs had put it back. Cat Noir didn’t love her - he still wanted the other girl. She’d lost her virginity on a rooftop, to a boy who wouldn’t even remember, and would now likely try kill her to get his hands on her earrings... and worse Hawkmoth had likely seen everything. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Cat Noir... please don’t do this.” Ladybug begged, wondering how to get to his bell - if she’d realised during... </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Cat Noir isn’t home right now. We don’t have to fight, my lady.” He grinned. “Just give me your miraculous and we’ll forget this whole mess, go for round two, with a lot less clothing?” He suggested. She very nearly threw up, but anticipated the lunge before it came, sidestepping it neatly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She wasn’t so lucky with the next swing, his baton smacked hard against her skull, sending her reeling backwards. Impervious to physical damage didn’t mean it didn’t hurt, as she went from post coital bliss to fighting for her life at breakneck speed.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Lucky charm!” A lasso fell into her hand, bewildering her - what good was a rope, she already had her yo yo... unless she needed both at the same time? One to restrain her attacker, the other to purify the akuma? </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Kinky.” He grinned. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Shut it.” She growled, dodging another blow. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’ll have to gag me next time. Oh right... there won’t be a next time.” He cackled. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>A swift knock to the back of her knees sent her backward onto her butt. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Been a while since you and I tumbled. Tonight not included of course. I’ve got stronger since then.” Cat Noir smiled - there was no warmth in it, his playful demeanour chilling and all too familiar. “And I’m pretty sure if it comes to it... I can beat you. Blow for blow.” He winked at the double entendre and she managed to catch his ear with the outward swing of her yo yo. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Keep dreaming, kitty.” She growled, rolling away and winding the lasso around her arm. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She felt more like a mouse being hunted as she took his words on board. Physically... he probably was stronger than her now. He was a powerful pawn for Hawkmoth, and she couldn’t risk it coming down to a physical fight. She wondered if Cat had been warning her of that as she made her retreat. Having battled Cat Blanc once, she has always assumed Cat Noir would be visually obvious if he was akumatised again, but even Cat Blanc had fought his control enough to warn her. Until that pink mask had shown up, she’d really had no clue. Unless... when he’d hurt her? When he’d been unsure of what she wanted? That look that had crossed his face... when Hawkmoth’s control was weakest? She felt nauseous.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The night gave him the advantage in a chase, his black suit camouflaging him where hers made her stand out like a red rag to a bull. Even as she fled her mind whirred. The moment she lost sight of him, she knew she was in trouble, she could be seen a mile off and he was almost certainly slinking silently around close by. Staying still meant he could creep up on her, so she opted to run, but no sooner had her arm raised to launch her yo yo to the next rooftop it was caught and twisted so sharply she knew it would have broken clean in two if she’d been out of costume. Her face met the bricks of the chimney she’d slipped behind for cover, and her lasso was yanked from her grasp in the moment it took her to recover. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She had barely enough time to turn as his imposing figure left her back before the loop tightened around her, binding her to the chimney stack. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You know your scared face is a lot similar to your O face.” Cat Noir said casually, returning to the front of her vision, adding a second loop as she struggled with the first. Her arms were bound at her elbows and testing her restraint proved there was no wriggle room. She swallowed hard, ignoring the insult. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Cat Noir, don’t do this. You don’t want him to get my earrings.” She panicked as he approached. The ease with which he set his elbow above her head so he was crowding her made her nervous. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Honestly I’m kind of looking forward to seeing who you are.” Cat Noir shrugged, dismissing the notion easily. “And wondering whether I’m allowed another go before my conscience kicks back in...” he purred.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Don't fucking touch me!” She hissed, eyes wide. The thought of him forcing himself on her, him still akumatised and powerful and her without her earrings or the ability to fight back made her sick. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Language!” He smirked. “Disappointed in you, Bug... you gave it up so easily the first time. Hawkmoth only sent me out to make out with you and swipe the stones...” he reached up and traced a claw from her lips to her ear.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What?” She whispered in disbelief. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Having sex was your idea. Good luck living with that.” He laughed as she realised he was right. He’d suggested stopping several times, perhaps a little more Cat Noir than Hawkmoth in those moments. She’d played right into it... the shame welled in her stomach and clearly crossed her face because he grinned. “Poor kitty, set out for patrol an innocent virgin and wound up jumped by a girl in love who couldn’t keep her legs closed.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Fuck off.” She growled, fury overwhelming the fear. Because he had a point - one way or another the akuma controlling him would be gone soon. How was she supposed to explain this to Cat Noir... or whoever he was under the suit if it came to losing their miraculous, which was looking more and more likely. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>His claw slid behind the metal back of her earring. One tug and it would be off, but he paused, his breath on her neck. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Thought you’d put up more of a fight.” He purred.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“My hands are tied. You want to fight me like a man do it, I’m no fun to you like this.” She hissed. “Best I could do is try talk you down and that’s never worked before.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No, it never has, has it.” He mused, his free hand spreading across her collarbone. “Try anyway. For the fun of it?” He grinned. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You do this... and that’s it for us. No more Ladybug and Cat Noir. Probably no more Paris if Hawkmoth gets his way. That’s really what you want?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You and I are already broken. If you’d have told me you loved me a year or so ago everything would have been perfect. You waited until you’d lost me... You couldn’t just keep your mouth shut and let me move on?” He sounded genuinely irritated, as Hawkmoth tapped into his real emotions and the hand on her chest tensed. She felt his claws piercing the suit in threat of what was to come.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“If I’d said it any earlier it wouldn’t have been true. I didn’t know you’d moved on.” She whispered sadly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well I did.” He huffed. “You waited too long. This... this is all on you, Bugaboo.” She knew it was Hawkmoth in control, that he didn’t really mean that. The hurt was real though. He was using Cat Noir’s pain and frustration against them. Ladybug hated herself a little in that moment. If he really had been akumatised after setting off for patrol it was likely his anxiety for meeting up for another awkward patrol that triggered the butterfly. It was her fault. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“And you. You’re too scared to ask that girl you like out.” She panicked, going for the low blow as she wriggled to try free herself from the rope. She could just about reach her yo yo if the ropes were only a tiny bit looser... “What if she gets over you while you’re waiting?” She pondered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Pushing me into the arms of another woman?” He wondered. Briefly she thought she saw control back on his features, but it flickered and died immediately. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Did it occur to you that I want you to be happy more than I want you?” She asked him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah talking’s really not working is it, my lady.” He laughed, tugging the top of her suit. She flinched as she realised he was tearing it once more, running a razor sharp claw down her chest. This was worse. Somehow it was worse. Tears sprang to her eyes but she refused to let them fall. She wouldn’t give Hawkmoth the satisfaction. “Never did work before. Normally this is the part where you do something clever with your yo yo.” He whispered. His claw had travelled down between her breasts to her stomach and for a moment she thought he was going to slice straight through her skin. Then the tiny blade met the rope binding her and for just a split second longer than before she saw it: </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The panic in his eyes that told her he was fighting his control. His claw bit into the rope, loosening it just a fraction. He was giving her an out. Rebelling as much as he could. The half an inch of extra room let her get her yo yo into her hand and without hesitation she shot it upward, the string looping around his neck. Yanking him down hard, admittedly probably harder than she should have. He yelped in shock, green eyes bugging as he was effectively strangled, he tightened his clawed grip on the lasso, causing it to snap around her waist. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Freeing herself she did her best act. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh kitty! I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to hurt you!” She bent to feign helping him remove the yo yo string from his throat and snatched the bell, crumpling the metal ball in her hand and releasing the butterfly as Cat Noir gasped for breath. He fainted as she recalled her yo yo to free him from his bind - having not tensed it enough to kill him. Not in his suit anyway. Unconscious he was no threat to her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Time to de-evilize!” She captured the escaping butterfly and whirled her yo yo until it glowed brightly and the pure white butterfly escaped. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ladybug didn’t wait - there was a chance she’d really hurt him, and her suit was still ripped. Fighting an akuma half topless was a new one. She tossed her shredded lasso in the air. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“MIRACULOUS LADYBUG!” She yelled. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The flurry of Ladybugs corrected her wardrobe malfunction and whirled around Cat Noir, fixing any damage she’d inflicted. He blinked slowly back to himself and she took a step back, petrified. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ugh...” his hand flew to his hair as he looked around slowly. “I’m... I'm here already...” he sounded confused. Ladybug couldn’t catch her breath, feeling like the air had been punched from her lungs. He spotted her and his eyes widened.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ladybug there’s something really important I need to tell you!” He said, clueless to her panic. “Hawkmoth. He’s Gabriel Agreste!” He breathed.</p>
</div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>There’s a lot of burying issues to deal with them later in this story. I apologise for that.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div>
  <p>Ladybug stared at him as she tried to school her expression into one of normality. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“That’s like the third time I’ve blacked out today.” Cat Noir murmured, a little lost. “You weren’t answering your bug phone, so I waited on a rooftop until it was time for patrol but he caught me twice. Akumas are hard to out run but it turns out I can just sort of zap them if you’re not around... it took me about an hour to learn that. Anyway, I’m sure of it - he’s Gabriel Agreste. We need to go <em>now</em>!” He insisted. Her partner extended his baton, ready for them both to dive right in to the fray and she trembled.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He’d blacked out twice before? Had he broken free of an akumatisation twice before on his own? Had he hurt anybody else? Her knees were weak and she wasn’t sure they’d support her weight much longer.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Does he know who you are?” She managed to say, her tongue heavy in her mouth. How the drumbeat of her heart hadn’t woken every citizen in Paris she didn’t know. He shook his head. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t think so.” He said honestly. “I had to detransform a couple of times but I kept moving. But he knows that I know, so I figure we call in our allies and just storm the place? Except... I lead him right to you... he’ll probably be watching. Hell.” He groaned, cursing himself. “I was just planning on calling you...” he stressed, pacing a little before he spotted her face, really looking at her expression for the first time. “Ladybug?” The fact there was no ‘my Lady’ felt like a kick in the teeth. “What’s wrong?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I...” she didn’t know how to say it. Her mouth wouldn’t work. Her head was spinning and the world around her seemed to shift as she fell to her knees. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Then her earrings bleeped. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Wait, what?” Cat Noir’s bewilderment was genuine as he knelt down beside her. “We don’t time out any more... not since we were kids... what happened?” He asked, confused. His arm went to wrap around her shoulders and she flinched away, startling him. “Ladybug?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You were akumatised.” She mumbled. Green eyes widened drastically in realisation that the third akuma must have got him before he could cataclysm it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I hurt you.” He realised. “Oh god, I hurt you?! Is it bad? Can you use your cure?” He panicked, checking her over for signs of physical injury as her earrings beeped a second warning. She raised her head, focusing on his terrified face which seemed to swim in and out of her vision. He was petrified that he’d hurt her and she couldn’t bring herself to tell him the truth: that he had. Especially not now, they were apparently heading straight to Hawkmoth??? Time just wasn’t a luxury they had. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Grimacing, she shook her head. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m fine.” She lied, swallowing hard and hoping it was convincing. “Just... need a minute to recharge.” Her voice was shaking and she hated herself for it. “You’ve got a lot stronger since we last fought... wore me out. I need to... to feed... to feed Tikki. Then we’ll go get the bastard okay?” A sympathetic smile was all she could offer him, getting to her unsteady feet and launching her yo yo. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She barely made it across three rooftops, just out of sight of Cat Noir and under a pool awning before her transformation fell away and she broke down sobbing on all fours. The impact of the incident hit her as though every blow Cat Noir had dealt Ladybug in the aftermath struck Marinette unprepared all at once. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh, Marinette.” Tikki wailed, attempting to comfort her chosen but lost for words. “I don’t need a recharge, I just thought you needed a minute and I’m sure we’re not being watched.” The kwami sympathised, flying in a circle around her chosen in an attempt to surround her with the love she so sorely needed in that moment, while keeping her antennae alert. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I screwed up, Tikki. So badly.” Marinette murmured, aghast as it truly landed. She’d had sex with an unconscious Cat Noir. Effectively she’d had sex in front of Hawkmoth. Who was apparently Gabriel Agreste. Her stomach lurched. She was about seventy percent certain she was going to throw up. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You didn’t know!” Insisted Tikki. “I didn’t know!” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Cat doesn’t know!” She hissed in a whisper, forehead scratching against the rooftop. “How do I tell him? I... oh god.” Marinette choked on her words, retching. “I basically raped him.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No, you didn’t!” Tikki objected, tiny voice vehement. “You’re both the victims here!” Marinette shook her head, curling in on herself. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Tikki let her cry for a good minute or two longer, waiting for a breakthrough. Marinette couldn’t see a light at the end of the tunnel, and knew she was a sitting duck, untransformed and just metres from where Hawkmoth - Gabriel - knew they’d last been. She was amazed she hadn’t summoned an akuma of her own yet. The awning wasn’t fantastic protection. She swallowed, wiping her eyes and quelling the urge to vomit with the stress. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I need to put a lid on it. Cat was akumatised... so Hawkmoth probably knows who he is and where we are we’re both targets. We need to run, come up with a plan... then fight.” She said decisively, taking a few deep breaths to steady herself.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Are you sure? Marinette, this has already been such a long night... you’ve been through so much.” Tikki was fraught with the idea of launching straight into a battle plan. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah, well... we won’t see morning if we don’t act now.” Marinette murmured darkly. She sniffed. “I’ll deal with... this mess afterwards. One crisis at a time.” She climbed slowly to her feet. “Put on my big girl spots and deal.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Absently, Marinette thought it would be much easier to just deal with it if her underwear wasn’t still soaking from their earlier misadventure, the ladybugs couldn’t have cleared that up for her? Ew. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No other choice.” She concluded. “Tikki, spots on.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Her suit felt more like armour than it ever had done before. She made her way back to where she’d left Cat Noir only to find the rooftop empty. Panic set in and she whirled around, convinced he was about to leap out of the shadows and attack her again. Heart racing, she readied her yo yo. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re back,” he announced his presence, thankfully (she was pretty sure she’d have smacked him if he hadn’t) but he’d still landed closer than she’d anticipated and she yelped, spinning to face him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Don’t sneak up on me!” She snapped at him. He put his paws up, innocently confused. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Sorry?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s... sorry. Sorry, I’m just a bit jumpy.” Ladybug admitted, holstering her weapon.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Are you okay? I didn’t <em>actually</em> hurt you, right?” He asked carefully, he was fairly certain he couldn’t harm her, the suits pretty much forbid it, but his claws were dangerous and he hated the idea of having used them on her.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No.” She lied grimly, following him. Presumably he’d kept moving in case they were being observed, and she had the same idea, hopping aimlessly across rooftops, hoping to both throw off Hawkmoth and avoid Cat’s gaze. “We can’t go get the other miraculous, you’re right, we’re possibly being watched, and our allies would take time to round up. We don’t have that luxury. He’ll probably know we're coming...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ladybug instinctively moved to fiddle with her pigtail as she thought, but the memory of Cat Noir ridding her of her hair ties flashed in front of her eyes and she froze. Better not to think of it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You were akumatised, so he probably knows who you are. I had to detransform so there’s a chance he knows who I am... I didn’t feel watched and neither did Tikki but... we go in as is and before he can target our loved ones. Our only hope is that we're stronger than he is.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Not much of a plan...” Cat Noir sighed, frustrated with the situation rather than her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well excuse me, you’ve had all day to think about what to do, I’ve had like five minutes after a fight.” She growled. He jumped at her tone, face alarmed. The attitude wasn’t like her.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“<em>Are</em> you okay?” He asked pointedly. She seemed unharmed, but he knew akuma victims could have vicious tongues. He’d probably been cruel... he concluded she was likely more upset than injured. “Ladybug, whatever I said... you know it wasn’t me saying it right?” <em>Yes and that’s exactly the problem. </em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m <em>fine</em>.” She said firmly. She was so far from fine she could barely function, but with no other choice, she began to work her way toward the Agreste mansion. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>When Adrien had turned 18, he’d moved out of the family home into a flashy apartment all his own. He’d cited it as being in control of his own money for the first time in his life, but Marinette, Alya and Nino all knew it was an act of rebellion, to get a little bit of distance from the controlling behaviour of his father. They all enjoyed the freedom of Adrien’s new home, but security on Gabriel’s place had only increased in the year since she’d last visited the mansion, and cameras seemed to glitter on every available pillar and post. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I can take out the power lines? Kill the juice for the whole block?” Cat Noir suggested, landing on the rooftop beside her. Ladybug could feel his body heat he was so close. She edged herself away. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You can see in the dark, but I can’t... are you able to navigate us? It’s a big building.” She warned. He grinned. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ah, I remember it from a few fights previously, we should be able to get around easily enough.” He reassured.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“He has a turf advantage here, he’ll know the layout better than us. You understand there is a chance we won’t win this?” She asked hesitantly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Nah, I’ve read this book. The Good Guys always win.” He promised her with a false cheer but a sincere confidence that he knew the building well enough to negate his father’s advantage. He clapped his hand on her shoulder in support. She flinched. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Power lines are round this side, c’mon.” He lead the way, seeming not to notice her response. Ladybug shivered, wondering why the spring night felt so cold as she watched Cat Noir slink along the rooftop and to the nearest electricity pylon.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She heard the whisper of <em>Cataclysm</em> carry on the still air of the night and watched as every light in the building died. The streetlights, the neighbouring buildings and the mansion itself all switched off in an instant, plunging them into darkness. Around them, a few households whose occupants were still awake at the ungodly hour were alarmed at the sudden blackout. Ladybug was more concerned that she could no longer see her partner. Losing sight of him filled her with dread all over again, the fear of being hunted causing the back of her neck to prickle in warning. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She could still hear him though, and tensed a little as she heard him touch down beside her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“C’mon, I’ll guide you while your eyes adjust. I’d put money on him being in his study.” He said softly, wrapping his arm around her waist. The goal was clearly to carry her down - he’d already said as much, but she pushed his arm away without thinking. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Stop that.” She chided.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Stop... what?” He sounded lost. Ladybug paused - they’d always been touchy, it was a necessary thing during akuma battles, and being physically close had never bothered her when they were under fire. She didn’t know how to explain how violated she felt, how cautious she was under once familiar hands. She couldn’t excuse it. Not now. They didn’t have the time. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re in love with someone else.” She reminded him, hoping it would hold for the time being. “Don’t touch me unless we’re in danger.” He blinked, reeling back in clear upset. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Are you still...” he frowned. “Ladybug, I was in love with you when you didn’t love me for years and I never let it affect our partnership. We’re heading into the biggest fight of our lives and you... you’re having a moment of jealousy?” He crowed, indignant. “I’m sorry. I am. I’m sorry you got hurt, I’m sorry I got over you, and I’m sorry I probably hurt your feelings when Hawkmoth was at the wheel, but stow it away, we have bigger issues right now!” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Cat Noir’s admonishment hit hard. He had no clue what she was going through, and while his words came from a place of concern for their safety, she was still too on edge to let him near her, and hearing him confirm that he no longer had feelings for her stung, a harsh reminder that it had been her fault, her naivety, ego and optimism that had caused the chaos. Did he have to be so blunt? It took everything she had not to burst into tears. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Of course, she had no clue what he was going through either - about to face his father. He made to wrap his arm around her waist again, assuming his stern words had changed her mind, but she darted away. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Don’t.” She growled. He blinked, having no idea what he’d done wrong to warrant the attitude, aside from falling in love with his friend, he huffed.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Fine, trip over your own yo yo then.” He grumbled, launching himself down into the streets and over the garden walls with his baton. She followed, slightly slower and clunkier as her eyes were struggling to adjust to the moonlight being her only guide. Cat Noir cataclysmed the latch on the door, careful to leave most of it in tact. He’d never been more grateful to be an adult - time was that would have limited his remaining hero time. He glanced backward to make sure Ladybug was close behind, as frustrated as he was at her jealousy dictating her mood, he didn’t want her to be left behind. Not here and now of all times. Pushing the door open the moment she caught up, they slipped into the house. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Inside was darker, without the moon and the stars as leading lights save for patches of moonbeams from the bay windows. Ladybug resigned herself to fate and caught Cat Noir’s leather tail as it swayed into view, holding on to it as they inched their way down the hallway. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Shouldn’t there be... staff?” Ladybug whispered, realising the house was completely silent. At this hour it was likely people were in bed but Cat Noir seemed to be thinking along the same lines. She could just about make out his figure in the dark, head tilted as he listened for footsteps or creaking above. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’d think....” He agreed, winding his way expertly down a corridor. His ears twitched. “ I can’t hear breathing from upstairs but there’s a weird electronic humming.” He mused. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Back up generator?” Ladybug suggested. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We’d have lights if there was a back up.” Cat Noir reasoned, stopping suddenly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Study’s through here.” He gestured at a door. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Are you sure?” She worried. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I remember the Collector case.” He murmured by way of explanation. So did she but she didn’t have the entire place mapped out and she’d likely been there more often than he had. The collector... they’d suspected Gabriel before and he’d akumatised himself (or had Mayura do it?) to throw them off the scent? She ought to be unnerved by his foresight, but she’d performed similar tricks to throw suspicion off of herself. <em>Stupid</em> she thought to herself. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>His study was abandoned, but Cat Noir hissed.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Trap!” The moment they stepped through the door. She readied her yo yo, trying to see the oncoming attack but saw nothing. Moments trickled by, the pair frozen in anticipation of an incoming assault. Ladybug wondered if she was just going to drop dead from a heart attack, the night having had far too many nasty surprises. Cat Noir’s silhouette was outlined by the moonlight through the large window and she could see the tension in his shoulders, the press of his fake ears to his skull as he scanned the room with his night vision. “The peacock miraculous is on the desk. There’s a note too...” He whispered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Wait what? He’s given up?!” She hissed quietly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah, like that’s gonna happen.” He growled. “And Hawkmoth’s isn’t there. So it’s either an ambush...” He murmured, turning slowly, as though expecting to see a trap door. “Or there’s a trick. See if your lucky charm can get us some more light?” He asked, baton extended in front of them both like a shield. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Lucky charm!” For once it worked directly in her favour, an electric lantern falling in to her outstretched hands. She flicked it on, expecting the bookshelves to reveal hidden enemies or to see the real Mayura looming from behind the desk as the orb illuminated the room. Nothing. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“The note says Adrien...” Cat Noir said, approaching the desk cautiously. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Atop the sealed envelope glittering teal and purple was the peacock brooch. Drawn to the shiny jewel Ladybug hesitantly reached out and brushed her gloved fingertips over it. It seemed to emanate a soothing energy she associated with Tikki, and to a lesser extent Cat Noir. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s real, Chato... Cat Noir.” She said softly, tilting her head and correcting her nickname half way through.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re sure?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m the guardian, I know a miraculous when I see one.” She snapped, picking it up. She shoved it into the compartment of her yo yo, in case it was bugged or about to explode or something. If there was to be a fight, she didn’t want Hawkmoth getting it back easily. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“The hell is with you today?” He grumbled, opening the envelope.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“That’s not addressed to you.” Ladybug pointed out, but she moved the lantern closer so they could see the words together. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Do we look like we have time for privacy here?” Cat Noir reasoned, knowing full well it was, in fact, addressed to him. She supposed he had a fair point. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The penmanship was neat, unsurprisingly Gabriel Agreste’s. The note simply read: </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>Adrien, truths have been learned tonight that cannot go unchecked. I trust you’ll get this to where it belongs. Your mother, Nathalie and I have gone on an extended vacation. Keep your mouth shut and your head down and remember that nobody can prove anything. -</em>
    <em> Gabriel.</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well, from what I hear that’s almost affectionate for him.” Cat Noir scoffed, scowling at the words as though personally wronged. Truths had been learned... so he did know he was Cat Noir then? He’d been in his head, so Adrien suspected his cover was blown.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Keep your mouth shut? Did Adrien know?” Ladybug gasped.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I doubt it.” Cat Noir read and reread the note, frowning. “His mother? Isn’t his mother... you know...” Cat Noir trailed off.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Missing.” She breathed in acknowledgement.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Everyone in Paris thinks he killed her...” Cat Noir murmured, he wasn’t ignorant to the rumours about his father - if anything, tonight they seemed more likely than ever. “But she’s alive and on vacation with him and the PA? I’m not buying it...”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Me neither...” Ladybug agreed, biting her lip.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“He’s given us... presumably Nathalie’s miraculous but he still has his. He’s probably biding his time and he might know who you are...” <em>He almost certainly does </em>Cat Noir thought miserably.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Probably waiting until he knows who you are too to jump us as civilians.” He conceded. Ladybug shuddered, suddenly wishing she hadn’t needed a moment to collect herself. Had he seen? Was she at risk too? Her parents? Her friends?</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We check the rest of the house. Search for staff, anyone who might still be here - they could have answers. Then we split up and go to our own homes. Don’t take a direct route in case you’re being followed but we need to make sure our families are safe.” Insisted the heroine.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah...” He agreed softly, pocketing the note.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“One of us should go check on Adrien Agreste too.” Ladybug added: he was already on her list to check but she could hardly tell him that.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’ll do it. Drop off the letter and see if he knows anything.” Cat Noir sighed audibly. “I suspect Hawkmoth’s actually fled though so should be safe to bring the power back?” He suggested. She threw the lantern in the air to correct Cat Noir’s damages.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Miraculous Ladybug!” For the third time that night, her ladybugs set to work, fixing the electricity this time.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“He says we can’t prove anything. Can we? How did you find out he was Hawkmoth?” She asked, wondering if they had any concrete evidence.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh I... I saw an akuma leave the mansion.” He said awkwardly. He had, but he’d been Adrien at the time and the fear and anger the realisation had struck into him rerouted the thing moments after he’d transformed.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>A quick search of the house showed it was completely empty, the staff having presumably been evacuated some time between Cat Noir learning the truth and Gabriel taking off.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You don’t think we’re being watched?” He asked. He wasn’t concerned for himself, fairly confident his father had in fact gone into hiding and that if he knew who Cat Noir was it was going to be a family affair. He’d go after Adrien alone.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t feel like we are and my instincts are usually right... but we need to check on our loved ones.” She murmured, shivering.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“This isn’t a win is it?” He sighed miserably as they unlocked a window to leave.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Far from it. But we got Mayura out of the picture... which I think is his way of letting us know he’s actually gone for now...” She stared at the skyline, the first hints of daylight creeping over the horizon.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We okay?” Cat Noir asked gently.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We’re fine, Chaton.” She murmured, pausing but refusing to alter the nickname. “Just...” Ladybug paused. “The last time you went to hug me it turned into a sucker punch and I’m a little on edge.” She apologised, hoping that would excuse her behaviour. Eyes darting away from his in shame she kept her head low. They had an abundance of time now and she knew she ought to tell him but couldn’t bring herself to speak a truth she had yet to process herself. <em>By the way I sexually assaulted you because I can’t control my feelings, but we’re still friends?</em> Was hardly a light conversation.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ah. Yeah I...” Cat Noir sighed. “Sorry? I killed two of the butterflies but the third must have got me. I’m sorry.” He said gently. She nodded.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Not blaming you. We never blame the victims. Go home. Check your loved ones are okay and call me when you know it’s safe?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Promise. You’ll see what you can get out of Duusu?” He asked, nodding at the yo yo.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes.” She reassured, taking off without a goodbye.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The dorm room she shared with Alya was closest, the university campus where she herself resided finally quiet for the night as revellers and party goers had tuckered out with the oncoming day. A quick peek in the window showed she and Nino were snuggled up in the same bed, asleep for now but apparently having made good use of Marinette’s absence. She covered her eyes the moment she’d confirmed they were both there - while she was more than used to walking in on them (they either needed to learn to lock the door or put on pants!) she’d seen enough nudity for one night.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She checked the bakery next, finding her parents already pottering around gathering supplies for the morning’s baking. She smiled softly as she watched them. Cat Noir was to check on Adrien, and she couldn’t think of anyone else she considered close enough that Hawkmoth would use against her. Too exhausted to head back to the campus and deal with a very naked roommate, she snuck in through the bakery skylight. Her parents had left her room as it used to be, for her to stay over at weekends or as needed, and as she still owned a key she could excuse her sudden appearance as having showed up quietly in the night if she was caught. She held her breath and waited for Cat Noir’s call.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>When it rang she jumped, despite having anticipated it.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“All good my end. You?” He asked, his voice calm.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Everyone’s fine. I need to quiz Duusu but I doubt I’ll get much, Tikki’s mentioned that the peafowl was a little erratic before the brooch got broken.” She murmured into the receiver.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Okay... I’m glad everyone’s alright. Stay on your guard, okay Ladybug?” Ladybug. She’d never hated the name more. She missed the nicknames.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What’d Adrien say?” She wondered, voice a little strained.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“That he thinks his father was committing embezzlement and that’s why he fled.” He’d had time to think on that as he went home. “He has no clue why his mother was mentioned. I didn’t let him know about the miraculous...” Cat Noir informed her.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Probably a good call. Thank you.” She whispered.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ladybug. You know I’d never hurt you... not... of my own free will.” Cat Noir’s tone was cautious but a biting reminder of everything the night had brought.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I know,” she whispered “we’ll be fine.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ladybug wasn’t sure when the habit of fiddling with her pigtail had developed, during high school for Marinette she suspected, but over the years it had become a comfort. Reaching for it now didn’t provide the same relief, unable to soothe herself without remembering Cat’s claws flashing.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m sorry if I was cruel when I was akumatised. I’m genuinely sorry you got hurt.” Cat Noir’s apology hit hard. He was clearly cut up by the idea that he’d been mean. How would he react if he knew what had actually transpired?</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Kitty, I’m tired and we’ve already had this conversation.” She said gently. “For the record I... I think you should ask her out.” She said slowly.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What?” Yeah seriously <em>what? </em>Why had she even said that? Her mouth was working faster than her brain.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Don’t make the same mistake I did, okay? Don’t wait too long.” Ladybug settled on. “Goodnight, Chaton.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Goodnight LB.” LB. Better than nothing.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ladybug hung up and took a moment to stare at her yo yo before retrieving the peacock miraculous from within its compartment.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Tikki. Spots off.” She whispered. The red Ladybug kwami hesitated, unsure which task to concentrate on. Marinette’s determined focus on the brooch in her hand told her to opt for the distraction first, so Tikki flew down to settle on her palm.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s real. It’s still broken though...” Tikki sounded disappointed, picking up the brooch and cuddling it. Marinette supposed it contained her friend, so Tikki’s behaviour wasn’t too odd.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I thought they fixed it, Mayura seemed healthier...”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“A patch job but not good enough. Duusu has been leaking negative energy. It’s a good thing Mayura stopped using it or she’d have died!” Tikki mused, examining it with caution. “You can fix it though, your magic is stronger than his.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I will. Is it safe to put on?” Marinette whispered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She was tired and dazed, and wanted nothing more than to curl up and cry, but heroines apparently had no such luxury. There was still work to be done.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“As long as you don’t transform, yes.” Tikki reassured. “But negative miraculous energy can affect people’s moods, bodies and technology and stuff... basically it’s a bad luck charm until you fix it.” She warned. “Don’t operate heavy machinery or anything.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette figured her luck could hardly get much worse, and pinned the brooch to her pyjama top, instantly filled with a sense of cold dread. That must be what Tikki had meant.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Mistress I...” Duusu turned slowly, realising the person who had summoned her was not her mistress. Instantly the kwami cowered, shrinking back.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hi. My name is Marinette, I’m the guardian.” She introduced herself gently. Duusu scowled.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re the one who gave my mistress such heartache!” She bemoaned.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You do understand that Nathalie was evil?” Marinette said cautiously.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Evil, good, they’re just words! You humans throw morality around when you should be throwing parties and kissing!” Duusu did several aerial backflips, seeming to rid herself of a little nervous energy.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Uhm... right...” Marinette frowned. Was that supposed to make sense?</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Duusu, do you know where your old owner went?” Tikki wondered.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She died.” Sniffed Duusu tearfully.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What?!” Squawked Tikki in panic.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Nathalie’s dead?” Marinette squeaked, digging in her purse and pulling out a small sheet of pills. She popped one and swallowed it. “Contraceptive.” She explained to Tikki, who nodded grimly, she’d be wise not to forget to take that tonight of all nights.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No. I won’t talk about Mistress.” Huffed Duusu.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m so confused.” Marinette pinched the bridge of her nose.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“And now you’ve met Duusu.” Tikki sighed heavily. “You’re very good at talking in circles, Duusu.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Very good at flying in them too.” Duusu quipped, performing more gymnastics in the air. Marinette gave Tikki a look that could only be described as <em>what the fuck</em>?</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’ll fix your brooch tomorrow. For now... Goodnight Duusu.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Goodnight Miss Marinette.” Duusu chimed cheerily, vanishing as Marinette unclipped the pin. She slid down the ladder and set the brooch carefully inside her jewellery box, feeling a little lighter for having removed it.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Marinette...” began the red kwami.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t want to talk about it.” Marinette turned the bedroom light off and climbed back into her loft bed, absently thinking she ought to change her clothes but unable to muster the energy. “Not to you. Not to Cat Noir. I... I want to forget it ever happened. Please?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Do you think you can?” Tikki asked softly.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What choice do I have? I can’t... I can’t tell him.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Doesn’t he have a right to know?” Tikki wondered. Marinette sniffed. Yes. He did. But why did she have to be the one to tell him? Why did she have to hurt him? Hadn’t she been through enough tonight?</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Probably. But what good would it do? He’s broken up because he thought he was cruel with his words... if he knows what actually happened he’ll never forgive himself. I didn’t tell him about Cat Blanc either. Isn’t it better that he...” she broke off, flopping backward and staring at the skylight. “If I tell him it only causes him pain. If I don’t tell him...”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It causes <em>you</em> pain.” Tikki pointed out.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m already hurt.” Marinette concluded. “Hurting him won’t help me. This way...” she sniffed. “This way he gets to have his first time with that girl. He gets the whole music, candles, and romance thing he actually wanted, with a girl he actually loves.” She whispered, her heart heavy. Tikki nuzzled into her cheek.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“And you?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I... deal with it.” Marinette said simply, hoping she could. “Goodnight, Tikki.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Sleep well, Marinette.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Not long after she’d drifted to sleep, a pair of green eyes flashed briefly in the skylight above her bed. Cat Noir had been unable to find her at her dorm, and while he assumed she’d gone home while Alya and Nino clearly enjoyed date night, he was relieved all the same to see her resting peacefully in the bed her parents still left ready for her.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>——————</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Your hair...” Adrien said, surprised. Whatever Marinette had been expecting as she walked into his apartment, that was definitely not it. She gawped at him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Adrien... your father has fled the country with his assistant in an apparent multimillion euro scandal and there are reporters literally lined up on your doorstep... and you’re concerned that my hair is in one ponytail instead of two?” She asked incredulously.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The media had been relentless, camped outside his door for days, with every paper running a different version of the story. Some said Gabriel had eloped with Nathalie. Some said he’d channelled funds from the company and fled Paris. Some said he was dying and had taken the money to fund his treatment. Some said Nathalie was dying.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes, well... I can’t do anything about him, can I?” Adrien sighed, leading her into the living room where Alya was already sat, cross legged with a book on her lap. “Alya thinks she’s a PI now.” He whispered conspiratorially.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“All I’m saying is there’s more to this than that letter said.” Alya insisted, making notes.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Letter?” Marinette feigned innocence, sitting down on the couch. “And where’s Nino?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“My father left a note. Didn’t say much. I took it to the police but... turns out there’s no actual crime in emptying your own bank account in the middle of the night and skipping town.” Adrien said miserably.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Nino’s running late, he stopped by the bakery.” Alya chewed her pencil and hesitated, looking at her friend with a startled expression. “What’s with the hair?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I just felt like a change.” Marinette bristled, fingering her ponytail out of habit. She wished they’d stop making a big deal of it, she was just sick of wearing it down to avoid her twin bunches.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I love it.” Insisted Adrien, smiling at her. Alya smirked and mumbled something that Marinette didn’t quite hear, but Adrien was fairly certain had been ‘that’s not all you love’. He shushed her with a look, and surveyed his friends.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Alya was buried in conspiracies - seeming to believe his father was involved in some underworld mob. He could hardly correct her. Marinette seemed unusually quiet, her legs tucked up underneath her and her hands in her lap.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You okay, Mari?” He asked gently.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Fine. I just didn’t sleep well.” Marinette said quickly. She hadn’t slept well since, nightmares plaguing her dreams and anxiety nudging at her when she was awake.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Coffee?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Thank you.” She said, her voice soft and appreciative. The moment Adrien had vanished, disappearing off to the kitchen to provide caffeine, Alya closed her book.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What’s actually wrong?” She asked knowingly.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What?” Marinette blinked.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You look like someone just murdered your puppy and you’ve barely been at the dorm all week. What’s up?” She asked, leaping up from her position on the floor and crossing to the sofa, sinking down on the plush cushion next to her friend.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Bad break up.” She whispered, deciding that was the best course of action if her distress was evident. It wasn’t entirely untrue: her heart had been broken after all. Things with Cat Noir had been awkward. Hawkmoth hadn’t emerged in the week since his departure, meaning Paris was blissfully free of akumatised civilians, but patrols had become quiet, uncomfortable affairs, neither of them really knowing how to act.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh honey.” Alya went to hug her and Marinette flinched. She was saved the awkward explanation for her reaction by a knock at the door. Nino let himself in, a large and familiar pink box in his arms.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Man, the reporters are really clamouring for info, huh?” He announced, having forced his way through the throng. “Hey honey, I brought sugar!” He joked. Alya rolled her eyes.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“One day he’ll love me as much as he loves Adrien.” She whispered at Marinette, who smiled politely and edged away.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Appreciated!” Adrien yelled from the kitchen. Nino shuffled in, setting the box on the table so they could see the selection of pastries Marinette’s parents had provided the DJ with.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Loving the do.” Nino said, grinning. He clapped her gently on the shoulder and she squeaked, jumping at the unexpected contact. Alya blinked.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Seriously what’s with...” she began, but was interrupted as Adrien returned with a tray full of mugs, in his element as host. He placed the tray on the table, turning each mug handle towards its recipient.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette was oddly fond of Adrien’s eclectic collection of mugs, they were the only thing in his home that didn’t match or look like they were Instagram ready, ripped right from a hone style magazine. He had one for each of them - Marinette’s a pink and white polka dotted affair. She smiled softly.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Alya opened the box of goodies, passing them around.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Chocolate for the broken hearted.” She sympathised as Marinette plucked a chocolate madeleine from the selection.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Broken hearted?” Adrien asked, confused.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Woah there, whose ass do I have to kick?” Nino demanded. Marinette gave a weak smile.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’d really rather not get into it.” She insisted, turning scarlet and curling further into her ball. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien realised now why she was so quiet, and frowned deeply.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Bad break up.” Alya filled the guys in unhelpfully, earning a glare from her friend.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I didn’t even know you were seeing anybody.” Adrien whispered.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“News to me too.” Alya agreed. “But fuck the guy. Wait... was it a guy?” She queried, suddenly curious. Marinette turned the same colour as her mug and lowered her face - mostly at the phrasing. She certainly did not want to think about fucking the guy, rather thinking of anything but.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes. Now drop it.” Marinette mumbled into her coffee.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien shot Nino a helpless look, and received one of sympathy in return.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>——————</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette was the first to leave, Alya not far behind. Nino hung back, eyeing his friend cautiously.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You okay?” He wondered.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m fine. I just... I didn’t realise she was dating.” Adrien admitted, clearing the table he’d refused to let the girls help tidy. Nino hummed.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Me neither, but it’s not that surprising, right?” He offered, sweeping pastry crumbs from the shiny black surface in assistance, Adrien gave him a grateful nod. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Guess not.” He agreed. Of course she hadn’t been single, other guys were bound to notice how amazing she was. “Probably a good thing I was too scared to ask her out then, would have been awkward if she had a secret boyfriend.” He sighed sadly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Things still shaky with your friend?” Nino asked, aware that Adrien had been having trouble with another woman: who was apparently famous enough to earn a vow of secrecy. Nino suspected she was a model, and while there was an element of envy that his friend had literal celebrities falling down his feet: he knew exactly why he’d turned her down. Adrien was crazy about Marinette, and the only one unaware of the fact was the girl herself.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She won’t even look at me.” Adrien said sadly, thoughts turning to Ladybug as he wandered into the kitchen with Nino close behind. “And I don’t want to be angry at her because I understand that she’s hurt but... I guess I thought our friendship was stronger than that. I feel like I’m losing her.” He mumbled, his confession hanging in the air.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Shit situation all round then.” Nino sympathised, brushing the crumbs into the kitchen bin. “If she’s as awesome as you say, I’m sure she’ll get over it soon. Don’t apologise for how you feel, dude. On the other hand... Marinette. Girls like her don’t stay single for long.” There was an edge to his tone that Adrien wasn’t sure he liked.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked, suspicious.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I mean most of the guys in Paris aren’t quite as stupid as the one who ditched her. Marinette’s a catch and someone’s gonna figure that out.” Nino said firmly. “You want to ask her out... do it soon.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She <em>just</em> got out of a relationship. Isn’t that kind of... sleazy?” Adrien squirmed. It seemed inappropriate at best.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Not if you don’t plan on being a sleaze, no. Don’t push her or anything. Just tell her how you feel... before someone else does. Maybe she doesn’t want to date again right now but... how’s she supposed to know you’re an option if you don’t tell her?” Pointed out Nino.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I... maybe. Just seems kind of a jerk move.” Adrien sighed.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s your call, bro... but don’t leave it too late, okay?” Nino said gently, being the second person to tell him so in such a short period of time. Adrien drummed his fingers on the kitchen counter.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>——————</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ladybug helped lift the stuck stroller up, easing it over the flight of stairs with a smile.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Thank you.” Breathed the grateful mother, trying to corral her wayward five year old at the same time as Ladybug manned the infant in the pink stroller. Cat Noir stood awkwardly to one side: it really didn’t take three of them.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Welcome, ma’am.” Ladybug smiled, setting the stroller down.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Thank you Ladybug! Thank you Cat Noir!” Said the small boy. It took Ladybug a moment to realise it was August. She gave him a winning smile.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re welcome. You be good for maman, okay August?” Ladybug gave him the thumbs up, before launching her yo yo and vanishing, Cat Noir hot on her tail.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Never thought I’d miss Hawkmoth.” Cat Noir laughed, earning a stern glare from his partner. Cat Noir folded his arms, realising he’d misspoken. He couldn’t tell her that in a weird way he actually did miss Hawkmoth. As glad as he was that Paris was safe he wasn’t used to not calling his father, to not having Nathalie arranging his work agreements, to not being invited for a meal once a week, which mostly acted as a business meeting. It was an odd sort of dichotomy. Was he supposed to be sad about his father? He was a villain after all, but he was his family?</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Sorry?” He sighed.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I get that work isn’t as... thrillseeking any more, but I’m sure you can get your kicks elsewhere. Helping old folks cross the road, unsticking strollers and tackling robbers is just as heroic as saving the city.” She insisted.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I know. I didn’t mean...” he sighed. He couldn’t say the right thing any more, Ladybug knew he was trying but no matter how much he joked or tried to make things right, she felt more distant than ever, unable to even make eye contact with her friend.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re on patrol tonight. Call me if something comes up.” She said gently, before disappearing once more without a goodbye, leaving Cat Noir staring miserably after her wondering how he was supposed to ever get the nerve to ask Marinette out knowing how badly an unrequited love confession could damage even the strongest friendship?</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>——————</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You need a distraction.” Alya insisted, rolling on to her back on the bed opposite Marinette’s. “Or a vibrator.” She added with a grin.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Alya!” Marinette loved rooming with Alya - the past year had provided more all nighters and girly chats than she’d been accustomed to in high school, despite their regular sleepovers. Alya’s semi frequent absences to Nino’s dorm meant Tikki was never ignored for too long. Sometimes, however, Alya could be more than a little intrusive.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Just saying.” Smirked the other girl, her head hanging over the edge of the bed. “Adrien’s available as a distraction.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Adrien?” She wondered, trying to figure out where he fit into the equation.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Girl... you cannot be this dense. Blondie’s crazy about you.” Alya’s upside down smile unnerved her.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No, he’s not.” Marinette insisted, shaking her head.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Is too. You saw his face when he realised you’d had a secret boyfriend?” She pointed out.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Alya. He’s my friend. He’s upset that I got hurt, that’s all.” Marinette lay herself on her stomach on her own bed, parallel to Alya on hers so they were facing each other. An only child, Marinette suspected this was what it was like to have a sister. “And even if he was into me... I’m hardly relationship material right now.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s been two weeks! That’s forever in teen years.” Bemoaned the red head. Her face lit up suddenly.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Alya.” Marinette whined. “This conversation is so not a thing, okay? Even if Adrien was into me I’m not interested. I’m not ready to be dating right now.” She told her friend, who bit her lip and righted herself, pointing at the space behind her friend.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Uhm... hi.” Said a voice. Marinette whirled around and was startled to see the blond in their doorway, hovering awkwardly. She blinked at him slowly, trying to read his expression. He looked uncomfortable.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Sorry,” she apologised quickly. “Alya getting silly ideas in her head again. Did you want something?” She tried to cover for her misstep. Adrien gave a small, weak smile.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Doesn’t matter. I kind of got my answer.” He shrugged, embarrassed. Marinette’s eyes widened. He couldn’t be implying... “See you girls tomorrow for movie night?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Definitely.” Alya promised, sincere apology in her tone. Adrien left, and Marinette gave Alya a terrified look.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Did I just...” She whispered, aghast. Adrien was into her? He’d overheard the conversation? Oh that was <b><em>not</em></b> the way to do it.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Break his heart? Kind of...” Alya said sympathetically. Marinette covered her face with her hands, thinking of the absolute ache she’d felt realising she’d been too late for Cat Noir’s affection. She didn’t want to do that to Adrien, but she’d fallen out of love with him ages ago. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Marinette... go after him.” Prompted her friend. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“And say what? That I’m sorry he overheard that but I still don’t want to date? Why rub salt into the wound?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Marinette. Adrien is kind, and sweet, he adores you and he’d never hurt you on purpose. But you just hurt him, accidentally. Even if you’re not interested... which you should be, for the record, you have eyes and a brain! Just... go explain why.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette was on her feet before Alya even finished her sentence. He <em>was</em> kind and sweet, she was right, he didn’t deserve such a harsh let down. She raced down the hall toward the exit, dodging students with a Ladybug level of grace, before catching up with him at the opening to the quad. She tugged his wrist gently, only belatedly realising that she’d touched him. Apparently she didn’t mind contact that was either expected or that she initiated? He jolted around.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh. Hello.” He blinked.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Could we... could we talk?” She asked hopefully, mindful of other students milling around.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s okay. I got the message.” He reassured her.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Were you coming over to ask me out?” She asked, needing clarity before launching into a speech that could be embarrassing if she’d misinterpreted his intentions.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Uhm... not... not exactly. Sort of.” His hand rose to cup the back of his neck, the way he often did when he was nervous.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Please can we go somewhere and talk?” She begged, not wanting this friendship to collapse around her too. He nodded, leading her through the courtyard.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>May had given way to bright, sunny skies, and the students were enjoying the last few weeks of the semester, with heavy course loads and mountains of work out of their minds the moment they left the classrooms. She followed him through the courtyard and out on to the grassy verges where students still littered the lawns but in much sparser numbers. They found a little privacy and shade under a tree, and sat down together, Marinette’s mind racing.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Okay...” he breathed. “So... no. I didn’t come over to ask you out.” He explained, plucking a daisy from where it had grown between the roots of the tree and spinning it between his fingers. “You just got your heart broken and it seemed... pretty sleazy to ask you out after that.” She appreciated the comment, but found herself frowning slightly at his tone. He sounded sad. “But I did come to tell you that I’m in love with you.” He said.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette blinked. Love? Adrien was in <em>love</em> with her. That was way heavier than she’d expected.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Why?” She asked, bewildered. She’d assumed it was just some whim that had lead to him wanting to ask her out. He was in love with her?!</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Because I didn’t even realise you were seeing someone before and I figured... you’re not ready to date right now but if I told you, at least you’d know I was interested.” He sighed. “Sorry the timing is abysmal, I shouldn’t have said anything.” He groaned, watching the daisy twirl in his hands rather than meeting her gaze.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No, not... I mean thank you for the... for being considerate about the timing thing but... why are you in love with me?” She wondered incredulously, marvelling as his face softened, the sadness slipping away.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Marinette... you’re the most fantastic person I’ve ever met. You’re insanely smart, you’re talented, you’re unbelievably kind, you work so hard and do so much and most of that’s for other people... you’re amazing.” He smiled, handing her the daisy. She took it hesitantly, entranced by his words. She certainly didn’t feel amazing lately, but there was no trace of insincerity in his tone, seeming relieved to finally say it aloud.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I heard you tell Alya you weren’t interested. I respect that and I won’t push but... are we okay? I don’t have great experience with this stuff. You mean a lot to me, romantic feelings aside... I’d hate to think I’d messed up our friendship.” He was busy searching for another daisy to fiddle with, fingertips skimming the grass. The years had been kind to him, where he’d once been pretty in an ethereal, delicate sort of way, his jaw had squared a little, his shoulders had broadened. He was every bit as handsome as he’d ever been, and nervous looking now at the prospect of having ruined their friendship.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You haven’t.” She promised him gently, tearing her eyes from him to look at the daisy.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>They lapsed into silence as she pondered the oddness of the situation. She’d once loved him to the point of obsession, in a way she could see that in hindsight had not been healthy but supposed had been fairly typical of a teenage girl with a crush. Those feelings had matured along with her, and it was only when she started to see him as more a human being than an idol that Cat Noir took over his place in her heart.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>That had crashed and burned spectacularly though, and he was presumably happy now with his girlfriend. Marinette didn’t like to think about that. Instead she really assessed Adrien - he’d found another patch of daisies and was carefully edging his sharp finger nail through the stems, concentrating on linking them to create a chain.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He was sweet.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I...” she began, not really sure where she was going with the word. “I got hurt. Badly.” She continued carefully. “Things got... way too physical, way too fast.” Marinette settled on, unwilling and unable to tell him any more than that. Those words alone had stung. “Would you... would you be willing to take things slow?” She asked hesitantly. Green eyes, made all the more verdant by the grassy surroundings, lit up in surprise.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We’re talking... sex?” He asked uncertainly. Blushing, Marinette nodded. “Yeah, that’s not... I’ve never actually... I’m still a virgin.” He stammered, a little flustered. “I mean Kagami let me touch her breasts once when we were like... Fifteen? That pretty much sums up my total experience. Oh my god, why am I still talking?” He groaned, turning scarlet and wondering why he’d even said that much. She tried not to giggle, but failed miserably.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I wouldn’t be putting the pressure on there, I promise.” He swore, crossing his heart with the unfinished daisy chain. Marinette wondered how he could look so sweet and innocent during this conversation and found a small smile gracing her face.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Okay.” She nodded slowly. “Friday?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You... want to go on a date?” The traces of hope in his tone felt like a kick to the butterflies in her stomach. “I thought you weren’t interested?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I didn’t think you were. I’d be an idiot to refuse someone who took such great care with my feelings, who does his best to cheer me up, and who can give me a run for my money at mecha strike five.” She murmured, biting her lip.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Don’t know about that last one, you usually kick my ass.” He admitted with a laugh.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He threaded the last daisy through the second, as she still held the first and turned to her, very gently setting it atop her head like a crown.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Friday then.” He whispered, amazed.</p>
</div><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I think we need a chapter that’s mostly fluff after the last two, right? Enjoy these two dorks on their first date.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Why did I agree to this again?” Marinette sighed, turning in front of the mirror. She’d opted to get ready at the bakery for their date, as she was gradually moving things back home for the approaching summer anyway when the university dorms would be closed. <br/>“Same reason as the last twenty times you asked.” Tikki said from her perch above the girl. Having always been supportive of her relationships, Tikki could hardly change tact and warn her of the dangers of dating Cat Noir’s holder when Hawkmoth knew who he was. She couldn’t tell Marinette that even if she wanted to: so instead she smiled. A date might do her little Ladybug some good, mentally, Tikki surmised. Marinette smoothed her blouse absently, wondering if she was over dressed. Or under dressed.</p>
<p>All he’d said was not to eat beforehand, so she assumed they were going to dinner. Oh god, if he was taking her to a fancy restaurant she was under dressed... maybe she should put on a dress instead? But then, if he was taking her to grab an ice cream at Andre’s she’d look ridiculous in a cocktail dress. Was it warm enough yet for a breezy sundress? Oh, but that showed a lot of skin... Marinette scowled at her reflection.</p>
<p>She had gone from ‘I absolutely can’t do this I should cancel’ to ‘why the hell shouldn’t I get a chance to be happy?’ and back at least eight times a day over the last few days, and her mouth felt dry at the notion. She was going on a date with Adrien Agreste. Her fourteen year old self was screaming. Her eighteen year old self was on the verge of a panic attack. </p>
<p>“Adrien’s the one she has a crush on, right?” Duusu asked. In an attempt to bond with the erratic kwami, who was no less eccentric now her miraculous was mended with a little magic from the guardian, Marinette had been getting the peacock out more frequently. Unfortunately this meant Duusu talking, and while she no longer oozed negative energy she talked a lot. Marinette was fairly certain that as the guardian she wasn’t supposed to favour some kwamis over others... but she knew she wasn’t fond of Duusu. </p>
<p>“No, that’s Cat Noir.” Tikki fielded. <br/>“What’s the difference?” Duusu wondered. <br/>“They’re two different people.” Marinette sighed, missing the knowing look Tikki and Duusu shared. “But Cat Noir is taken and happy and I’m moving on. I loved Adrien once, and he’s nice. Why can’t I go on a date with a nice boy?” She asked aloud, as though questioning the universe. <br/>“Of course you can.” Tikki agreed. Another reason not to dissuade her. <br/>“Because every time someone touches you you jump like a mouse with its tail on fire?” Suggested Duusu. <br/>“I’m working on that!” Protested the girl, before biting her lip and looking at Tikki for support. <br/>“You’re fine with touch on your own terms, and it’s a perfectly normal reaction considering what you went through.” Reassured the red kwami, scowling at the peacock.</p>
<p>“Oh god what if he wants to kiss?!” Marinette squeaked, suddenly nervous. Because going slow was one thing but a kissing embargo was just not done at eighteen and nineteen years old. He’d know something was up for sure if she couldn’t manage a simple kiss. Or he’d think she hated him. “I can’t do this, I’m going to cancel.” She insisted.<br/>“Marinette. You made me hide your phone for this exact reason. Calm down.” Sighed Tikki, affixing her with a stern look. </p>
<p>“Phone’s under the pillow.” Chimed the peacock kwami cheerfully. <br/>“Duusu!” Tikki scolded. Marinette rebuffed the look Tikki had given her, turning it in to a glare for Duusu. She unpinned the brooch. <br/>“That’s enough of you for today.” She huffed, slinging the pin back into the miracle box. She’d determined long ago that her family home was a much safer hiding place than a dormitory with irregular occupants and hoped that if her identity was ever discovered her primary residence would be targeted first giving her time for a backup plan.  </p>
<p>“How...” she wondered, adding a jacket over her blouse and scowling at her reflection before removing it. She looked like she was going to a work function. Secretary was not the look she was going for. “Did I wind up playing mother to a bunch of ancient gods?” <br/>“We got lucky.” Tikki grinned. </p>
<p>—————— </p>
<p>“Hey.” Adrien’s warm smile as he greeted her was enough to calm her nerves, and she beamed back. <br/>“Hello.” She greeted, the tension leaving her shoulders as she spotted the blond. He offered her his arm and after a moment of hesitation she schooled herself into accepting it, sliding her own through the loop he made. “So where are we going?” She wondered. Adrien used his free hand to tap his nose. <br/>“The press are still being a bit... invasive at the minute so I figured a public place like a cinema or a museum might attract unwanted attention, and we hang out at my place all the time so...” He grinned and tapped his nose once more, keeping the location a secret. </p>
<p>Marinette focused on staying calm. Adrien linking arms with her wasn’t that out of the ordinary, he’d always been a touchy friend - so was Alya. It wasn’t that scary, really. <br/>“I like your outfit. One of your own?” Adrien wondered. <br/>“The blouse is...” she turned the collar a little to show him her embroidered signature hidden underneath the fold. She’d opted to keep the pink blouse but add a black tank top underneath it, paired with a fairly simple pair of black off the rack jeans that she hoped would leave her looking classy enough for somewhere fancy, but dressed down enough for somewhere casual.</p>
<p>It was a hard balance but she liked to think she’d got there in the end. Given Adrien’s attire she suspected she’d fit right in, a light blue button down with rolled up sleeves over a black t shirt and black jeans. They actually looked liked they’d co-ordinated, she realised, amused. <br/>“Very pretty.” He smiled. Marinette paused, not sure if he meant the blouse or her, and giving him a quizzical look he simply met with a wink. Or he had something in his eye, she couldn’t be quite sure. </p>
<p>And then he was leading her down an alleyway. <br/>“Uhm... are you sure we're going the right way?” She worried, panic starting to rise. There were no people down here, a dingy little back alley behind some shops and a restaurant. Her hear raced. What if he was akumatised? If this was a trap set by Hawkmoth, after all she’d fallen for it once already. Her breath seemed to catch in her chest. <br/>“Yes.” He promised, grinning as the snicket became thinner before branching out in two different directions. Marinette tensed a little more, only relaxing as he lead her down the side of the restaurant. A table had been set up against the brick wall that blocked the street from view, complete with table cloth, cutlery and a candle in a glass jar that wasn’t yet necessary with the evening still light and breezy. </p>
<p>Her very first thought was of the pasta scene from Lady and the Tramp, as Adrien lead her to her seat, removing his arm from hers to pull out one of the chairs. Marinette spotted a few strings of fairy lights tacked to the wall, similar to her own bedroom and balcony, and realised the whole thing had been orchestrated very carefully. The sky was gradually growing dimmer as evening crept in, and she suspected they’d be switched on soon. </p>
<p>“You really put a lot of thought into this.” She whispered, awed. Comfortable was the word that came to mind. It was just Adrien. Her sweet, kind, funny friend, who was an absolute gentleman. And there’s no real risk of him being akumatised she reassured herself absently. Even if Hawkmoth did rear his ugly head and try the same trick again there was probably a reason Adrien had never been targeted. Hawkmoth wouldn’t go after his own son. </p>
<p>“I... might have had a plan before I had the courage to ask.” He admitted sheepishly, sitting opposite her. “The door there leads to the kitchen, we’re not blocking the fire escape so it’s fine with health and safety, we can knock when we’re ready to order.” He explained, passing her one of the two menus. </p>
<p>She was oddly relieved that everything seemed reasonably priced - while Adrien was significantly financially better off than she was, she didn’t like the idea of him being obligated to pay, it seemed a little too much like an expectation on both sides. She could also identify everything on the menu, which helped set her at ease. Marinette nearly laughed when she realised the smiling patron on the menu was Adrien, an allegedly candid shot of him enjoying a meal with equally gorgeous companions - clearly he’d been the model for the publicity shots. He blushed.</p>
<p>“Forgot about that.” He mumbled, embarrassed. “Know what you’re ordering?” <br/>“The salmon penne, I think. And a lemonade.” She decided, folding the menu. She watched as he got up, knocked on the door and passed their order on to an elated kitchen staff, all of whom seemed positively thrilled to see him, and more than one nosying around the edge of the door to get a look at his date. Giving a small wave in response seemed to delight them and they hurried to work. </p>
<p>Adrien returned to his seat, smiling. <br/>“Richard who owns the place knows me - his daughter’s our age.” He explained. “It’s a little family run thing, the food’s good.” He promised. <br/>“This is lovely.” Marinette said honestly, as the fairy lights began to twinkle merrily with the dying light. She wondered if they’d been set to a timer or if someone had turned them on inside.</p>
<p>“I might get all my moves from Disney movies.” He grinned, lighting the candle with a little electric device she hadn’t noticed previously. She laughed. <br/>“Oh, so I’m not imagining the Lady and the Tramp vibes?” <br/>“Definitely not.” He beamed. “But let’s skip the the spaghetti thing, that just seems unnecessarily messy.” Her nose crinkled as she giggled, nodding her agreement: marinara sauce and fashion did not mix. </p>
<p>A beat of silence, not long, but enough for her to panic. What did you talk about on a date with someone you saw most days anyway?<br/>“Did you hear the new Jagged single? I’m really looking forward to the album.” She blurted, desperate to fill the quiet. <br/>“I liked it - a little more morose than his usual stuff, so definitely not a favourite, but it’s a good one.” Adrien agreed. <br/>“Music doesn’t have to be happy though, right? Some of the best songs are sad.” <br/>“I’ll agree, but only because I’m fond of playing the minor chords.” He smiled, considering her position. “I tend to lean toward the more upbeat songs. I blame being raised on classical music.” <br/>“I’m going to argue that there are plenty of cheerful classical songs.” She put forward, ignoring his derisive chuckle. </p>
<p>The food arrived, the steam rising from the plates causing the candle to flicker a little. <br/>“Oh, that was fast.” Marinette wasn’t sure if it was their proximity to the kitchen that had hurried their order along, or the fact it was Adrien being served, but the way his ear tips tinged pink she suspected it was the latter. <br/>“Thank you.” They both told the waiter at the same time. Marinette thought her salmon penne looked far more appetitising than Adrien’s chicken risotto but that, she supposed was a matter of taste.<br/>“Anything else, you just knock. Enjoy your date, kids.” The waiter bowed at his waist before returning to the kitchen. </p>
<p>Over dinner, Marinette was relieved to find the conversation flowed easily. Topics ranging from the food (which he’d been right about), back to music, Alya and Nino, summer plans (Marinette wondered, absently, if with Hawkmoth MIA she might manage a short vacation this year... she rarely left Paris), fashion and pick up lines. <br/>“Okay, worst pick up line you’ve ever heard?” He asked when the conversation veered that way, crossing his cutlery and setting it down on his empty plate. She thought of Cat Noir and then shook her head - most of his lines weren’t pick ups, and she’d actually quite liked them. She recalled a stranger in a bar Alya had dragged her to.</p>
<p>“Excuse me.” Marinette began, wondering if it had actually been bad or if her role as the sober friend made it worse. “I think you dropped something.” <br/>“What?” Adrien asked, knowing the answer was to be terrible. <br/>“My jaw.” Marinette quipped, complete with wink and finger guns. Adrien groaned. <br/>“Awful.” He agreed, shaking his head with laughter. “Dessert?” He handed her the menu again and she perused it. </p>
<p>“Worst pick up line you’ve ever heard?” She asked, scanning the options. Having always had a sweet tooth she’d been over indulging it as of late. <br/>“You’d be surprised how forward some fans can be.” He cringed. “Probably: what’s say you and I head back to my place and make this shoot a little more boudoir than beach?” <br/>“Ew.” Marinette scrunched her nose. <br/>“Especially awkward as I was on camera at the time, in my swim shorts... Nathalie escorted her off the set. Not exactly comfortable.” He shook his head and scanned the menu. </p>
<p>Torn between the chocolate fondant and the creme brûlée, Marinette recalled Alya’s words: chocolate for the broken hearted. Here, with Adrien, in a private little glowing corner of the universe, she didn’t feel quite so broken hearted. She didn’t feel quite so broken. <br/>“Creme brûlée.” She decided on. <br/>“You know what I think I’ll get the same. Any food you attack with a blow torch and it emerges better earns my respect.” He joked, wandering back to the door. The flurry of wait staff who cleared away their plates was just as attentive as the first time. The whispered compliments about Marinette’s outfit and about how cute they looked together made her feel strangely comfortable.</p>
<p>They did look cute together. Even removing the factor of their coincidentally co-ordinating outfits, Marinette thought that from an aesthetic point of view they complimented each other well, dark and blonde, blue and green. The warm lighting helped. She smiled softly at the realisation that a spark of something familiar was rekindling in her chest, and the further revelation that she really didn’t mind. </p>
<p>Resting her hands in her lap, she assessed him. He still looked a little nervous, but incredibly happy, and just as entranced by her as he was with the fairy lights. She recognised that look, and had no reason to doubt his feelings for her. Unsure how she’d managed to make the model fall for her, she blushed. <br/>“How’s the final coursework shaping up?” He wondered.<br/>“I had it finished last week.” Marinette admitted. Without Hawkmoth encroaching on her free time school work seemed a breeze.</p>
<p>Okay so as a first year student she wasn’t exactly overwhelmed with tasks, but the end of the year still piled on essays and examples, all to carry over to next year’s grades. She enjoyed her courses: fashion design, for obvious reasons, business was a bit dull but Adrien and Alya took it too so that helped, and an art class that she told herself was business related but mostly it was just fun. <br/>“Putting me to shame, Mari. I’ve still got to complete the model for Madame Lestrand and finish off a child development assignment which is brutal.” He confessed. Business and child psychology... an odd combination but it worked for him. <br/>“But you also balance school with a job.” She pointed out, referring to his modelling. He nodded. </p>
<p>The desserts arrived, in all their golden topped burned sugar glory and the conversation died as they each ate, the sound of teaspoons against ramekins tinkling like music through the night air. Growing up in a bakery had left Marinette with a very picky palette when it came to sweets, but the creme brûlée passed her test, she only wished she could get away with sneaking a little to Tikki but of all the foods she could safely explain away stashing for later, cream was not one of them. </p>
<p>“Thought we’d go for a walk by the river before we call it a night?” He suggested, gathering up their ramekins and heading to the door. She hummed her agreement and opened her purse. “I took care of it beforehand.” He added, knocking on the door. <br/>“You knew how much we’d spend?” She asked, raising an eyebrow. <br/>“I paid an advance of the approximate bill. They can keep the extra.” He promised, knocking on the door. </p>
<p>Marinette didn’t know quite how to protest that. Mentally she decided she’d pay for the next date... then wondered if she was in the wrong for assuming there’d be one? He seemed content enough... She thanked the staff after he did, and he offered her his arm again. He was about ninety percent certain a waitress snapped a photo of them leaving arm in arm but didn’t raise the issue. </p>
<p>With June fast approaching, the night was warm enough that the thin material of her shirt didn’t cause a chill. She wondered, if the weather hadn’t been so kind, if Adrien would be so bold as to wrap his arm around her and if she’d panic at the notion. Inky black waters glittered with the streetlights as they wandered aimlessly, both a little lost in their own thoughts. It was only when she cautiously leaned her head against his shoulder, a careful glance upward to check that it was okay with him that either of them dared to speak. </p>
<p>“So tonight went well?” He asked cautiously. <br/>“What, do I have to fill in a customer satisfaction survey?” She teased. “Ten out of ten, would date again?” <br/>“Would you?” He asked quickly, unable to tell if she was joking. She considered it for only a moment. <br/>“Mmhmm. Yes.” She couldn’t find a reason not to. The night had gone well, she’d been made to feel safe and secure, and their slow amble in the vague direction of the bakery had taken on a romantic veil - it no longer felt like walking beside her friend. The little spark she’d felt earlier hadn’t been quelled, a tiny flame of attraction from a torch she’d carried far too long to have ever truly burned out had reignited. Adrien seemed thrilled with her admission, grinning broadly. </p>
<p>“When?” He wondered. “There’s some stupid rule about how long to wait right?” <br/>“Probably.” She laughed. “But the weekdays are kind of school heavy at the moment. So either tomorrow or next Friday?” She suggested, as they strayed from the river and began toward her home. <br/>“Am I going to sound totally obsessed if I say tomorrow?” He worried, apparently not wanting to come on too strong. “Because if so then definitely Friday. If not... I’m free tomorrow.”  <br/>“Tomorrow’s fine by me.”</p>
<p>Marinette felt the flush on her cheeks - flattered that he was so eager to see her again. Stores and shops began coming back into view, some with their windows already darkened for the evening, some still glowing warm against the dark streets. “You’re not paying again though.” <br/>“That bothered you?” He wondered, curious. <br/>“A little?” Marinette admitted. <br/>“Okay...” he took the note on board but didn’t press the issue, aware that money being no object to him didn’t mean it didn’t affect others. He could see how paying for two dates in a week could put certain pressures on her and that wasn’t his intention. </p>
<p>“So how about we do something free?” He asked as the bakery came into their line of sight. Marinette hummed. Free meant staying home and that wasn’t a line she was quite ready to cross yet. <br/>“Nope. I have a plan.” She said decisively, already plotting. Somewhere they wouldn’t be seen, due to his current press attention, that she had the sneaking suspicion he’d a) never tried and b) would enjoy at the forefront of her mind. <br/>“Don’t you always?” His tone was fond and she supposed she was fairly well known for her forethought. <br/>“Usually.” She laughed in agreement. </p>
<p>They reached the front door of the shop, her parents having already closed up for the night. She let go of his arm and turned to face him with a bright smile. <br/>“I had a lovely time.” She promised him. He hesitated, bobbing a little on the balls of his feet. “What?” Able to tell he was a little nervous and unable to read anything else from his expression, she kept her eyes on his face. <br/>“Can I kiss you goodnight or... is that too fast? Is it weird that I asked?” Face flushing scarlet, Marinette nodded then shook her head in rapid succession. <br/>“Yes. I mean no. I mean... it’s... it’s not weird and yes you can.” She knew she’d messed up the sentence, her fourteen year old self rearing her head at the notion that Adrien Agreste wanted to kiss her! </p>
<p>He moved carefully, hand rising to cup her cheek, thumb brushing away a stray strand of her hair that had escaped her ponytail as he dipped his head. She cursed herself for the very first thought in her head which was it’s nothing like kissing Cat Noir. Cat’s first kiss had been fierce, hungry - he’d been a man on a mission after all, hoping to kiss her senseless enough to swipe her earrings. Adrien was gentle, his kiss cautious and explorative, barely daring to flick his tongue lightly against her bottom lip before he withdrew, looking for all the world as though Christmas had come early. She bit her lip. She’d definitely liked it. She hadn’t freaked out. She nearly cheered. <br/>“Can we do that again?” She asked, awestruck. He didn’t hesitate to dip back down, their second kiss no less sweet and just as shy. </p>
<p>Dazed, dizzy and with her heart aflutter, Marinette returned the soft movement of his lips against hers before they broke apart. <br/>“Wow.” He murmured. She laughed. <br/>“Seriously?” <br/>“In my defence you have no clue how long I’ve wanted to do that.” He blushed, hand going to the back of his neck in embarrassment. He hadn’t meant to say wow aloud. She smiled. <br/>“I’ll see you tomorrow, Adrien.” <br/>“Goodnight, Marinette. Sweet dreams.” He waited until her key was in the door and she was sliding into the bakery before he turned to leave, grin still etched on his face. </p>
<p>Upstairs in the apartment it took her all of two seconds to realise her parents nonchalant looks combined with an out of place net curtain meant they had been spying out the window. <br/>“Get a good look?” She teased them. <br/>“I’ve been rooting for this since you were thirteen.” Sabine insisted, refusing to be ashamed. <br/>“I appreciate that he walked you home, that’s the mark of a gentleman.” Tom nodded, having the grace to look a little guilty but quickly changing tact. “Could have done without him accosting my baby in the street though.” <br/>“It was barely even a kiss!” Marinette laughed, shaking her head. She felt dizzy, in the best possible way. Not even the looming prospect of another nerve wracking patrol with Cat Noir could bring her down. </p>
<p>————— </p>
<p>Apart from the fact he was annoyingly chipper.</p>
<p>His current tactic seemed to be to ignore any lingering tensions by being as ostentatiously Cat Noir as possible. He cracked jokes, performed some fantastic gymnastics on his baton (and around his baton, and generally sort of in the air too), and even produced a small box of cookies at some point: offering it to her. <br/>“No, thank you.” She whispered. <br/>“C’mon, you love sweets.” He needled, sitting next to her. Too close. Ladybug felt her heart start to race in panic. Did he have to sit so close that she could smell his cologne? Or was it his cologne... maybe it was her own perfume she could smell? She wasn’t sure, but edged away all the same. </p>
<p>She knew it wasn’t fair. He hadn’t done anything wrong, and she knew she was being aloof and cold, but every time she looked at him guilt and dread and fear all seemed to clash - her heart, stomach and brain all screeching different things at the same time until she couldn’t hear herself think. </p>
<p>“I’m not hungry.” She murmured. Technically that was true, she’d eaten dinner fairly late. She missed the light, relaxed atmosphere of the date. He sighed. <br/>“You’re still mad at me...” Cat Noir sounded frustrated.<br/>“I’m not mad.” Her tone was clipped, unnecessarily short - did he have to sit so close that her hands trembled? It was nearly June, why was it so cold? Eyes closing of their own volition, she started to shake. <br/>“You can’t even look at me. I don’t understand you seemed okay with it before... Is a crush really worth ruining our friendship?” He was so obviously hurt, but Ladybug didn’t know what to say. </p>
<p>He set the cookies down in the empty space she’d created next to her. <br/>“I can’t keep apologising for something I’m not sorry for, Ladybug.” Cat Noir sighed, getting to his feet. “You won’t talk to me, even though I’ve asked a million times... but now you won’t even look at me? All because I’m seeing someone?” He sounded skeptical, as though he didn’t believe her rationale. That wasn’t the reason. She wanted to scream it at him but couldn’t find the words to say it, her gaze blanking as she cast it out over the city. “I think... I think maybe we need to take separate patrols until you get over this... whatever this is.” He said miserably.</p>
<p>“What?!” She gasped, her head snapping round to face him. His arms were folded, and he looked uncomfortable. <br/>“When you’re ready to talk about whatever’s actually bothering you and be friends again, call me. Please?” He begged. “Until then... enjoy the time without Hawkmoth. I’m sure he’ll be back to ruining our lives again soon enough.” Cat Noir’s voice had been jovial earlier, and now held a heavy weight. Somehow that made it worse, as frustrating as his overt cheer had been, his retreat was definitely worse. </p>
<p>“Cat Noir...” she pleaded, standing up. <br/>“What?” She could tell he was waiting for a reason to stay, but her brain refused to function. Maybe he had a point. Maybe they needed a break. He shouldn’t have to keep apologising, and she loathed it every time he did, feeling that it was her who should be begging for forgiveness. Yet he thought she was just being jealous and petty and she couldn’t explain what the problem was. Maybe with a little distance she’d manage to control her emotions? Then he’d think she’d just gotten over her little crush and was fine again... the subject would be closed. She closed her eyes and bowed her head. </p>
<p>“Alternate nights then? Who starts?” She murmured, wrapping her arms around herself. He blinked.<br/>“Seriously? That’s all you have to say?” Green eyes flashed with pain. <br/>“What, was this an ultimatum?” She breathed, fight or flight instinct keying into fight. “I don’t like mind games, Cat Noir.” The chill in her veins made it into her tone, words spat like icicles. <br/>“It wasn’t...” he sighed. “I just...” his shoulders slumped. “I don’t know what to do here.” He admitted. “I don’t know what’s actually going on and you won’t tell me. You’re basically my first real friend and...” </p>
<p>“It’s not my job to hold your hand. I told you I didn’t want to talk about it and you KEPT asking. You keep pushing on cracked glass and you’re surprised when it breaks?” Ladybug didn’t even know why she was shouting, just that the words came out louder and angrier than she’d intended them to. <br/>“Ladybug... I...” He whispered, appalled. She knew she’d gone too far, but the anger felt good. Screaming and shouting felt somehow better than crying. <br/>“It’s not my job to explain to you that when someone says she doesn’t want to talk, she doesn’t want to talk! I’m not your babysitter!” She growled. “I’m not your mother, and you’ve made it very clear that I’m not your girlfriend!”  Her words had cut deeper than she’d possibly known, and he was aware his reaction was personal, but turned away from her fury all the same.</p>
<p>“Okay.” He swallowed. “See you around, then...” He whispered. With a click of his baton he was gone, and Ladybug - bewildered and full of misplaced anger, kicked the abandoned box of cookies, growling and turning toward home. </p>
<p>She collapsed onto her bed and sobbed for a good three minutes before Tikki sent her a warning bleep, reminding her that she was still Ladybug. It wouldn’t do her any favours if her parents found Ladybug crying in Marinette’s bed. <br/>“Spots off.” She panted. <br/>“Marinette...” Tikki whispered when she appeared. <br/>“I didn’t mean to shout.” She choked into her pillow. “Why did I do that? I didn’t mean to yell at him!” <br/>“I know...” Tikki reassured, settling onto Marinette’s pillow and stroking her tear stained face. “Marinette, you’ve got a lot of emotions at the minute, if you bottle them all up they’re bound to bubble over. Cat Noir just... happened to bear the brunt of it.” </p>
<p>“But he’s right!” She wailed. “I can’t look at him! I can’t... he touches me and I feel cold and sick, and it’s not his fault! He doesn’t deserve it but every time he says sorry I want to scream because I’m not just being childish and jealous. I don’t even care that he has a girlfriend! It’s... it’s... what actually happened... it was my fault.” She mumbled, shaking her head. <br/>“No. It wasn’t.” Tikki stressed, brushing Marinette’s hair behind her ear.</p>
<p>“Marinette... maybe a break would do you both some good? Paris doesn’t need Ladybug and Cat Noir at the minute, not the way it did, maybe it would be helpful to focus on the things that don’t overwhelm you?” <br/>“You... want me to quit being Ladybug?” Marinette gasped, eyes wide. <br/>“That’s not what I said. Maybe just... get your end of year schoolwork handed in, and work on your date plan for Adrien tomorrow? Enjoy movies with your friends... have fun being a teenager for once in your life?” Tikki suggested, having seen how happy she’d been earlier in the night. In the kwami’s mind that wasn’t a bad thing. Marinette blinked, sitting up. </p>
<p>Put Ladybug on the back burner and focus on Marinette? Without Hawkmoth around it was actually an option for the first time. She nodded slowly and swallowed before wandering to her computer to look up the local laser zone place.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Marinette and Adrien get closer while Ladybug and Cat Noir fall apart.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Received a bunch of nice reviews and I have a good chunk of this story already written (but not complete yet. Endings are hard) so I’m posting another chapter already.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div>
  <p>Adrien didn’t look great. Dark circles sat under his eyes, his hair was... well, not unkempt, but not quite as artfully windswept as usual, and he seemed to take a good two seconds to even realise she’d arrived. </p>
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  <p>“You okay?” Marinette wondered, tilting her head. </p>
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  <p>“Yeah... yeah I just didn’t sleep well.” He sighed in apology. “I’m fine.” Marinette hadn’t slept well either, but presumed Adrien wasn’t as used to late nights as she was. </p>
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  <p>“Want to take a rain check?” She offered gently. Sure she’d be a little disheartened to miss the date, having spent the night psyching herself up for it, but if he was that exhausted...</p>
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  <p>“No.” He said quickly. “No, I... please?” Adrien swallowed. “I had a really bad night but I’ve been looking forward to this, please don’t let my bad mood ruin it?” He pleaded, looking for all the world like a scolded child. </p>
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  <p>“What happened?” Marinette steeled herself before she offered her hand, initiating the contact and he gladly took it, squeezing a little. </p>
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  <p> </p>
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  <p>“I had a fight with a friend.” He settled on, following as she lead the way, presumably to the destination of their date, still unknown to him. </p>
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  <p>“Chloé?” Marinette guessed. She knew they were still close, even though she’d not seen the hotel heiress since high school. </p>
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  <p>“No, no... a girl from work.” Adrien explained, deciding that was the most reasonable excuse, that had been what he’d told Nino after all.</p>
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  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Who was in the wrong?” Marinette asked carefully. She was attempting not to pry, while also trying to fix it and Adrien felt a flush of pride at that realisation. Marinette always tried to find a solution. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t even know any more.” He sighed dejectedly, thinking about it. “She... I guess she was in the wrong? She uh... she wasn’t happy about us going on a date.” He mumbled, a little concerned that there was something more to it than that. But how was he supposed to know what it was if she wouldn’t tell him? Marinette paused their walk and turned to him. </p>
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  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Okay, well that’s easy... She’s jealous.” She reasoned. </p>
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  <p>“Yeah. Yeah, I got that much.” His eyes hit the pavement, refusing to look at her. “I just... I didn’t expect it to mess up our friendship. I don’t want her to be hurt but... I don’t want to feel guilty for being happy.” </p>
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  <p>“It’s not the first time a girl’s fallen in love with you and you didn’t feel the same, and it probably won’t be the last. Give her a little space and I’m sure she’ll work through it.” Marinette reassured, squeezing his hand and feeling a little bad for how awkward things had been initially with Cat Noir. Envy was painful... but in retrospect it seemed more like a paper cut compared to the plane crash that had happened after. She was slightly grateful that the worst problems Adrien seemed to face in his every day life these days were normal, teenage issues. “You don’t have to feel guilty.” She promised him. </p>
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  <p> </p>
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  <p>Unexpectedly, he dipped his head and kissed her gently. Startled, she jumped a little, heart racing and fight or flight instinct keyed in to run, but she relaxed of her own accord, finding she didn’t mind it as much as she had thought she would. The winning smile he gave her as he pulled back made her lightheaded. </p>
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  <p>“That’s the plan. Thank you for being understanding.” He appreciated that it could be an awkward topic. Maybe he shouldn’t have even brought her up in front of Marinette? </p>
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  <p>“Eh,” she dismissed, oddly proud of herself for how briefly she’d panicked at the unexpected kiss. “I’ve been that girl before. It hurts but... in the end it comes down to whether or not they want you to be happy. I’m sure she does.” Marinette reassured him. </p>
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  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What idiot didn’t feel the same way about you?” Scoffed the blond, content to continue their walk, following her lead as she wound them through the streets. A few glances were thrown their way, and Adrien instinctively lowered his head a little as though hoping to shrink into non-existence amid the gossip about his father. </p>
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  <p> </p>
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  <p>Laughter bubbled unbidden from Marinette’s lips. She couldn’t tell him about Cat Noir, didn’t even want to think about that, but there was definitely one person she’d had feelings for who hadn’t noticed her that she <em>could</em> mention. </p>
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  <p>“You!” She cackled. Adrien blinked. </p>
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  <p>“What?!” He gawked, clearly shocked by the news. </p>
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  <p> </p>
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  <p>“You really didn’t know I was into you when we were kids?” Marinette asked incredulously. </p>
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  <p>“No... Seriously?” He breathed. </p>
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  <p>“Yep. Totally gaga. Hey... if we’re telling our friends am I allowed to tell Alya?” Marinette asked curiously. “Because she’s been shipping this since we were thirteen... she has a whole name for us and everything.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I thought she only did that with superheroes?” Adrien sighed, having heard Alya’s rantings about the goings on with Ladynoir over the years. Those didn’t seem quite as fun as they once had.</p>
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  <p>“Us too. Oh, and we’re here.” She announced as an afterthought, gesturing to the unimpressive looking building in front of them.</p>
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  <p> </p>
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  <p>At first glance it appeared to be an abandoned warehouse, but a sign above the door read Lazerz. Adrien, still reeling from the revelation that Marinette used to like him, was more than a little confused. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“A... disco?” He guessed, lost. Did she want to dance? She shook her head, leading him up the ramp into the building, the foyer a surprisingly well lit, carpeted affair with a till and several doors leading away. </p>
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  <p>“Laser tag. We shoot each other - but only with lights. There’s an instructional video.” She promised, sympathetic to his confusion as she lead them to the desk. </p>
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  <p> </p>
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  <p>Unsurprisingly, Adrien was very good at laser tag, their natural competitive instincts kicking in the moment the lights went down in the room. Sneaking around behind parapets in the fairy tale layout of the arena, darting behind drawbridges and under turrets, watching out for each other’s brightly coloured vests. The first game was a walkover - she trounced him, and credited her Ladybug skills for the win, but the second she only won by an uncomfortably narrow margin as he got the hang of the game. She suspected if they’d opted for a third round, he might just have won, but the ticket paid for two rounds and that seemed like a very good excuse to call it.</p>
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  <p> </p>
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  <p>Stepping out into the daylight, she knew she was flushed from over exertion. She was giddy. That had gone well! She’d had fun! Maybe Tikki had a point about loosening up a bit? In her excitement she tripped over the ramp, bracing herself for impact but it didn’t come. Instead she found Adrien’s arm looped around her waist and flushed for an entirely different reason. </p>
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  <p>“Falling for me again?” He joked. </p>
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  <p>“Apparently.” She giggled, righting herself and easing her way out of his arms. That was a little too much contact, but it was uncomfortable rather than making her skin crawl - that had to be progress, right? “Where were those reflexes in the arena, huh? You’d have won if you were that quick on your feet in there!” She asked as she stepped away. </p>
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  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Should I be concerned that my girlfriend’s so gleeful at having killed me?” Adrien laughed, leaning against the wall as he was also tinged pink and a little breathless, enjoying the breeze away from the dark smokey room and glaring lights. </p>
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  <p>“Girlfriend?” She asked surprised, tipping her head. Adrien immediately grimaced. </p>
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  <p>“Too soon?” He realised. She bit her lip and shook her head. </p>
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  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Not... no. Not too soon.” She agreed, fairly certain now that her pink cheeks were no longer just from the exercise. “I can’t believe you’ve never played laser tag! You’re nineteen! You have to play against Alya - she’s brutal!” </p>
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  <p>“And you’re not?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m a skilled assassin.” Marinette grinned, looking far too cute for someone declaring such a thing. “But seriously - at least Lasers don’t actually hit you. Never paintball with Alya, those things hurt!” </p>
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  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>—————— </p>
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  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>They told Alya and Nino at their next movie night at Adrien’s. Alya, understandably freaked out and demanded all the juicy details (of which Marinette insisted there were precisely none). Nino just gave Adrien a high five and concentrated on the movie. Some action flick had been the pick of the week, the heroine was doing a rather impressive and impractical series of manoeuvres given her revealing attire but she barely caught Marinette’s attention. Instead she spent most of the group night peering over the rim of her coffee cup, catching Adrien’s gaze, blushing and then looking away. </p>
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  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She was definitely treading a familiar path. </p>
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  <p> </p>
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  <p>————— </p>
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  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The next few weeks brought more dates, a few solo patrols that didn’t amount to much save for the odd burglar. She missed Cat Noir, but at the same time felt glad of the relief. The distance was probably doing both of them some healing: she barely even flinched when people touched her incidentally now, and whenever Cat Noir showed up on the news she didn’t break out in a cold sweat, which she considered to be progress. Baby steps. If she kept herself within her own limits, she’d be fine, she decided.</p>
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  <p> </p>
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  <p>The press got wind of Adrien and Marinette’s relationship after about a month. Frankly she was surprised it had taken them that long to figure it out, but toward the end of June she found her face on the front pages of every gossip site, speculation rife over just who she was to be dating Adrien Agreste.</p>
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  <p> </p>
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  <p>“This... is definitely a downside of us dating.” Adrien sighed in apology, setting a plate of food in front of her as she perused a magazine. “The press are... not always kind.” He warned her, worried about what they might say. She shrugged and closed the offending article.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“They weren’t too cruel and our friends and family all know so... no harm done.” She mused. It wasn’t like she was ashamed of their relationship: although the extra attention meant she’d have to be a little more careful about her identity. On the upside it seemed to have distracted the vultures from the Gabriel scandal, they were mostly leaving Adrien be now.</p>
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  <p> </p>
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  <p>“Hm... does this mean I get to take you to events and stuff?” Adrien asked hopefully, taking a seat opposite her. So far their dates had mostly consisted of things like the first and second date: semi public with the vague illusion of privacy. She’d avoided coming over, for fear of getting carried away, but he’d been practising his cooking and was eager to display his prowess, so she’d accepted the invitation. True enough the pasta dish looked particularly promising, even if it smelled a little... pungent. Something with cheese, she was fairly certain. She wrinkled her nose and hesitated, with the fork raised.</p>
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  <p> </p>
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  <p>“Camembert and porcini.” He explained, noting her expression. “It’s a little strong...” She didn’t want to be rude, so tasted it anyway and pursed her lips. “Is it awful?” Quite frankly the only word that sprang to mind was <em>yes</em>. She couldn’t decide which was worse the smell or the taste. A little strong was an understatement, the cheese and the mushrooms smelled so heavily she was fairly sure the paint on the walls would start peeling. She forced herself to swallow it.</p>
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  <p>“It’s...” she tried to be kind but he ended up laughing at her tempered expression. “Thank you for cooking.” She concluded, eating the next forkful with a thinly veiled grimace.</p>
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  <p>“Mari... if you don’t like it...” he began, making a mental note to never again ask his kwami for recipes.</p>
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  <p> </p>
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  <p>“I appreciate the effort.” She said firmly, continuing to eat in a stubborn refusal to hurt her boyfriend’s feelings. “I’m getting used to it already.” She lied. He’d cooked for her and that was... it was a good sign, it had to be. He’d been nothing but kind and patient, and she wasn’t about to appear ungrateful. He took a tentative forkful - it wasn’t <em>so</em> bad, he was pretty sure his sauce had curdled, but he assumed at this point he was so used to the smell of Camembert he was probably immune to the flavour. </p>
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  <p> </p>
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  <p>Marinette managed to clear about a fifth of her plate, before excusing herself to the bathroom. He tried to politely ignore the sounds of her being violently sick, but quickly cleared away the plates with a glare at Plagg hiding behind the tv speaker. The kwami laughed and gladly took charge of the leftovers.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“In the bedroom.” Adrien scolded, not wanting him to be seen. Plagg rolled his eyes but flew off with a plate all the same. It took Adrien all of two minutes to find a menu, presenting it to her when she returned, a little paler than she’d been when she left.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“How about we pretend I didn’t just probably give us both food poisoning and order pizza?” He suggested. She gave an apologetic smile and nodded, embarrassed.</p>
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  <p>“I’m sorry, I really did try to like it...” she murmured.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Next time I’ll stick with something less... disgusting.” He promised, approaching her. She looked sad. “Please don’t ever feel like you have to do things you don’t want to in order to keep me happy. If it was that bad you shouldn’t have kept eating, are you okay?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Fine.” She promised. “Could maybe do with a coffee though? My mouth tastes kind of gross.” She admitted, wrinkling her nose and wishing she had a toothbrush at Adrien’s place. Mindful of her warning, Adrien kissed her cheek instead and disappeared to make a coffee.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>When drinks were acquired and the pizza had been ordered, they settled together on the sofa, scrolling through the movie selection.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I think this is our first solo movie night.” He mused. She hummed and sipped her coffee - that had been a rather deliberate move on her part.</p>
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  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>A month together and they hadn’t done anything more than kiss (a lot), while she thought she’d come on in leaps and bounds given a little distance from her primary trigger, the idea of anything more with Adrien made her nervous. She worried that she wanted to, which Tikki said was normal, but felt distinctly abnormal under the circumstances. She worried how much his patience could stand, there was going slow and there was altogether stalling... nineteen year olds had urges and stuff right? She also worried he’d get bored of waiting for her, or that despite wanting to, she’d have a panic attack the moment his hands wandered south of her neckline and she’d wind up a crying mess in his arms.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She focused on the movie choices.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Romantic comedy?” He suggested, kissing her forehead.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Sounds good.” She agreed, setting her mug down as she finished her drink. The acidic taste of vomit was no longer tainting her mouth, only sugary sweet coffee (Adrien had this fancy vanilla stuff that she adored) on her tongue. Kissing was definitely back on the cards. She settled herself against his chest and he practically purred at the contact, wrapping his arm around her, seemingly content to cuddle up. She felt safe in his arms and inhaled slowly. This was fine.</p>
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  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“So, pick your Lianne.” Adrien joked, noting that two actresses Lianne Borsain and Lianne Rini seemed to dominate the movies on screen.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Mmm... Borsain.” She decided, comforted by the smell of his cologne. The opening credits had just finished rolling when the pizza arrived, and she found herself oddly put out by the fact they had to stop cuddling while he answered the door and when he returned with food that was much easier to eat sitting up than draped across each other. If the sideways glances and small shy smiles Adrien sent her way as they ate and the main character fell in love were anything to go by, he missed the embrace just as much as she did.</p>
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  <p> </p>
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  <p>Sure enough as soon as they’d had their fill of pizza and the leftovers had been carefully stored in tupperware in the fridge, Adrien’s arm slid round her waist again. The motion very welcome, Marinette relaxed into him, losing herself in the movie in front of her and the steady thrum of Adrien’s heartbeat against her ear. She could anticipate his movements, an instinct for synchronicity kicking in, and wasn’t scared as his hand moved up toward the end of the film because she knew he only intended to play gently with the end of her ponytail. On cue, as the credits rolled and the pair on screen rode off into the sunset, his hand moved again, cupping her face and tipping her gently upward for a kiss.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Predictable, safe, calm. She returned the soft motion, sitting up ever so slightly for comfort as his thumb brushed her cheek and palm cradled her jaw. Adrien, she had quickly learned, was a very good kisser. A careful flick of his tongue had her at his mercy, opening her lips to give him entry without a worry in the world. No sooner had he tasted her, he pulled back to settle their noses together - she went cross eyed catching his smile.</p>
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  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’ve got a fashion show next week. Come with me?” He murmured, kissing the tip of her nose, then her cheek. She always felt her heart skip a little when he did that. The soft fluttering kisses he left across her freckles made her feel like she was the centre of his universe.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Local?” She wondered trying to hide her concern, leaving Paris meant a conversation with Cat Noir she wasn’t ready to have yet.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes, in Paris. And without Nathalie as my handler...” Marinette tensed slightly at the mention of Duusu’s former mistress. “There’s no reason I can’t bring a date and even less reason that date can’t wear one of her own designs.” He pointed out. “I’ll be on the catwalk, but you’d be in the front row, and we could do the red carpet together? I...” he kissed her on the lips again, a soft, dizzying thing. “I want to tell the world.” He whispered.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“The world already knows.” She giggled, thinking of the magazines and gossip blogs. Her parents were thrilled, Nino and Alya were cool with it... they were very much public. “But yes, I’ll come with.” Her agreement spurred Adrien into another round of kissing. He went no further, and made no attempt to, seemingly as enamoured with kissing her as he’d been on their first date.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>——————</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The press loved her. Adrien beamed with every glowing review. Summer months were busy for him, when he wasn’t distracted by school he tended to have heaps of modelling jobs and celebrity appearances, all of which were usually orchestrated and carefully watched over by Nathalie - with her out of the picture he arranged things himself, turned down some he really didn’t like the sound of, and found the ones he did attend much less of a chore. Bringing Marinette seemed to improve his mood and the media were quick to cotton on to his lovey dovey expression, articles on how adorable the two were springing up from their first public appearance at the fashion show.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Then a movie premier. Then a boutique opening. A product launch for which Adrien had been the poster child months earlier. Interspersed with regular dates to normal places like the cinema, restaurants, the theatre - Marinette felt she was living the best of both worlds. She knew though, that in the blissful honeymoon period she was neglecting her Ladybug duties. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She still patrolled, but did her best to avoid the paths she knew Cat Noir would cover. The suit itself made her nervous, like she was walking around with a giant target on her back. Having seen him maybe twice whilst out and about since they’d agreed to fly solo, she’d done a sharp turn and zip lined away with her heart racing each time.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Collapsing onto her bed one patrol night at the end of July and heaving a sigh, she dropped her transformation.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I still can’t face him.” She murmured miserably. She missed her friend, because (romance aside) he’d been her closest confidant and ally for six years. Spending her nineteenth birthday without him had felt wrong, she usually went out of her way to ensure they spent a little time together on her birthday even though she’d never explained why - it had always felt odd to not have him part of big moments in her life.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sure she’d been thrown a lovely party, her friends and family and adoring boyfriend gathered round, but she missed Cat Noir.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“These things take time Marinette.” Tikki said sadly, watching her from her pillow. Her Ladybugs had seen hard times before, but this was new even for her.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>While Marinette was behaving normally, for the most part, the invisible weight on her shoulders seemed like it was going to topple her at any moment, and Tikki could only watch and wait, hoping the network she surrounded herself with would be able to help her back up if (or almost inevitably when) it got too much.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s been over two months. What if I can never look him in the eye again?” She whispered.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>His absence clawed at her and she threw the covers over her head, burying herself in her nest of blankets.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>——————</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What if she never talks to me again?” Adrien demanded, pacing his bedroom. Another mundane patrol, the crime rate was so low in Paris lately with petty thieves not wanting to risk the wrath of bored superheroes that lately the most interesting thing to happen was a very brief flash of red that told him Ladybug was still out and about but was actively avoiding him. Glad that she was uninjured and still active, his frustration at her absence was palpable.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Plagg had vehemently agreed with Adrien’s frustration in the first few weeks: that she was being ridiculous and childish and that a little unrequited love shouldn’t come between friends, but as the weeks stretched into months, Adrien was definitely starting to worry there was more to it. Even Plagg had stopped lambasting her, just silently nodding along every time Adrien allowed himself to fret.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>What if she never came back? What had their last fight together even been? Mister Pigeon again? No blaze of glory, no swan song, their friendship had just ended with a fizzle rather than a bang. He missed her. Her companionship would be enough.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>It occurred to him that night, the night she’d clearly seen him on patrol and turned and fled in the other direction, that there could be one very good reason she was actively avoiding him. The thing he wanted to talk to her about but hadn’t felt it appropriate when she was so angry.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Do you think she knows I’m Hawkmoth’s son?” He asked Plagg gently. Large green eyes looked at him warily, and Plagg nodded.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I think she might.” He concluded, having only observed from the outside as Adrien and Marinette grew closer while Cat Noir and Ladybug fell apart. He wondered what she was playing at, but knew there was certainly something more going on than either of them had been allowed to know.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Plagg’s initial thoughts had been that she had discovered his identity, but as time went on with no word from Hawkmoth, he began to worry exactly what Cat Noir had done whilst he was akumatised. Had Hawkmoth fallen on his own sword? Had his own son ended his life? Had Ladybug covered for him? Attempted to protect him from his own actions? Was the whole Marinette and Adrien thing her way of being there for him where Ladybug couldn’t? The black cat kwami didn’t dare push after Ladybug’s warning about cracked glass.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Neither of us remember what happened when we were akumatised... it’s possible either you told her or your father did.” Plagg agreed. Adrien froze, his blood turning icy. That would explain a lot... she had seemed so much angrier after he’d been akumatised... if she felt betrayed? If she doubted him?</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You think... I mean she has to know I didn’t know, right?” He asked weakly. Maybe she was angry that he hadn’t known? That he’d been in the same house as him for years and hadn’t recognised the signs? Maybe she thought just being around him was dangerous?</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I tried talking to her kwami but she won’t tell me either.” Plagg said miserably.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien hesitated. When had Plagg snuck out to talk to Tikki? He supposed he had been a bit busy with civilian stuff lately. He pinched the bridge of his nose.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m finally out from under my father’s thumb and this is the legacy he leaves me? To screw up my friendship with Ladybug?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Look, I’m sure she knows you’re a good kid Adrien. If Ladybug’s staying away... she’s got a good reason.” Plagg promised. Adrien sighed, too tired to keep dwelling on a problem with no obvious solution. Instead he opened the page he’d been reading on his phone before he’d gone out on patrol.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What do you think?” He asked, showing Plagg the hotel room photos.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I think it’s pretty presumptuous considering you two haven’t even got to second base yet.” Plagg snorted, shaking his head.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We don’t have to... I mean sharing a room doesn’t mean... I’d make it clear there’s a fold out!” Adrien insisted, panicked. “Is she going to be mad?” He worried. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He’d been invited to a movie premier in London. Before, a weekend away just wouldn’t have been feasible but with no real reason to cling to Paris as much, the notion of a weekend in another country, with a fancy party and his amazing girlfriend was a luxury he desperately wanted. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Booking the hotel room without asking her might have been a mistake though... sure he’d probably still go on his own anyway, but what if she felt obligated by sharing a room? She’d never stayed over, never implied anything more than making out was on the cards any time soon.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Not that he was angry about that. She’d said she wanted to go slow and he was happy to respect that, she was more than worth the two months of cold showers, but maybe... was it bad that he thought London might present an opportunity? A romantic getaway? Or maybe it would just come across as sleazy? Was it sleazy to hope? He didn’t know what to think.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Talk to Marinette about it, not me.” Shrugged the kwami, fishing through a drawer in search of cheese. “I think the room looks swanky, but your girlfriend has no taste. She hates Camembert so I still say dump her.” He stuck out his tongue before beginning his snack. Adrien laughed and shook his head, scratching Plagg’s head gently. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m not going to dump her because she hates your stinky cheese. I might dump you if you keep hiding it in my sock drawer though.” He teased, deciding to bite the bullet and text Marinette.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>Movie premier in London, August 14th. As it ends late I’ll be staying the weekend... Want to come with? Xx </em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She didn’t reply.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>You guys are going to have to wait a while for any more smutty stuff because... y’know... trauma and stuff. I apologise if I lured you in to reading this story with the promise of sexy stuff. There will be more of that (consensual this time!) but lots of fluff and angst before that though.</p>
<p>Reviews help keep me sane (my country is in lockdown). Do your thing.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div>
  <p>“Okay it’s 7am... why are we catastrophising?” Tikki yawned, watching as Marinette paced the loft bedroom so quickly she reminded the kwami for all the world like a spider trapped in a glass. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Adrien wants to take me to London for a weekend.” Breathed the heroine, looking for all the world like she’d been dealt a fatal blow. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“That sounds lovely.” Tikki said, confused. How long had Marinette been awake? Had she even slept? She looked so frazzled... </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No a <em>day</em> in London sounds lovely. A <em>weekend</em> in London means staying overnight. Tikki I... I can’t...” she panted, shooting pleading eyes at her kwami, begging her to understand. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Marinette, Adrien’s never applied pressure before. I’m sure it’s not what you think.” Reassured the creature, disentangling herself from the mass of blankets and flying down to try calm her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette just looked lost, staring at her phone. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I... I genuinely think I’m in love with him.” She clarified. “And not like when I was thirteen and not like... not like with Cat Noir.” <em>Like it could have been with him, maybe, if things were different, but not the same,</em> she thought to herself. She would never have been able to cuddle on Cat Noir’s sofa while they watched a movie together, or go round to his house for dinner, or introduce him officially as her boyfriend to her parents. That had never been their path, and perhaps that was part of the reason they’d always been doomed to fail. There had never been domestic bliss on the cards for them, not with Hawkmoth around. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s not an obsessive crush. It’s not dependency. It’s... it’s real. I really like him and he really likes me... and if I weren’t so messed up I’d probably have already...” she murmured, biting her lip. She knew, if the circumstances had been different she would have already slept with him. Hadn’t the whole mess with Cat Noir proved that? “But that’s the problem isn’t it? I just... dove in last time and it cost me...” she didn’t mention the cost: her dignity. Cat Noir. Half of her identity. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Marinette... if you don’t want to sleep with Adrien you don’t have to. If you do want to... that’s probably not going to happen again.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Keyword being probably. If Hawkmoth knows who I am...” she worried. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“He could have come for you months ago. He didn’t. I don’t think he knows who you are, and according to the Ladyblog Cat Noir is still fairly actively kicking butt on the streets so he’s safe too.” Tikki pointed out. She’d been hesitant to stay quiet initially, worried Adrien and Marinette dating might lead Hawkmoth right to her, but so far there was no sign of the butterfly wielder targeting his son. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette hesitated. She hadn’t really checked the Ladyblog lately, but apparently Tikki had been keeping an eye on it for her. In an aim to distract herself from London and all its possible outcomes, she booted up her computer and loaded the familiar pink page. As expected, articles were few and far between, very rare sightings of herself on rooftops, a few shots of Cat Noir grinning with handcuffed burglars in the background or of him helping repair vandalised shop windows. He was okay. He was doing fine without her. That realisation was oddly comforting. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I should tell him if I’m leaving Paris for a few days.” She mumbled, scrolling through the speculation of exactly what had happened to Hawkmoth (Alya was rooting for death by old age. <em>We can only hope</em>.). </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Are you?” Tikki wondered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes.” Marinette said decisively. “It’s... it’s just one night in a hotel. Nothing <em>has</em> to happen and... and if it does we’re both in love, we’re both consenting adults... it’s not the same as before.” She said slowly. It didn’t seem so bad... actually it was sort of perfect. Tikki kissed her cheek. “Am I allowed to be excited about this?” Marinette asked, her hand hovering over her phone. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Of course you are, Marinette.” Tikki promised her. “A movie premier in London sounds exciting!” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>———————— </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ladybug held out the miaowing cat toy. It was a device they’d used for years if one of them had to go away for any period of time. While it had never earned fair use their first time in New York, it had come in handy over the years for weddings and such that took them out of town. Cat Noir blinked at it, having only dared to land in front of her when he was certain she wasn’t going to turn tail and run. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re leaving.” He concluded, gaze falling. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Only for a couple of days I just thought... if Hawkmoth shows up...” Ladybug said carefully, wishing she’d started with a hello instead. He looked so disappointed in her, unable to hide his crestfallen face. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hawkmoth isn’t coming back, Ladybug.” Insisted the Cat themed super hero. He was pretty sure of it, his father had had months to come after him and hadn’t, despite plenty of opportunities. “Paris doesn’t need us any more. You don’t have to set up an emergency contact if you want to leave town.” He reached for the remote anyway but she jumped away, instead he sighed and tipped his hand up letting her drop it into his palm. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Does it even still work?” He wondered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t know. Short range it seems fine...” she nodded at him, allowing him to press the clicker - the bobble head cat in her hand gave a helpful little miaow. She focused on the toy’s erratic movement instead of the young man in front of her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The awkward silence cut into them, neither one wanting to breach it with clumsy words. August had arrived with a blazing heat that didn’t seem to relent even in the dark of the night, the air around them warm and heavy with the empty pause. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Going anywhere nice?” He asked eventually. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You know I can’t tell you that.” She winced - did he have to start with a question she couldn’t fulfil?</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Why not, you already know who I am don’t you?” He shouldn’t have said it, he <em>knew</em> he shouldn’t have said it, but months of silence only to be approached again when she needed something - an eye on Paris - stung. Did he not deserve some sort of an explanation? He’d been worried. Her frown said he’d guessed wrong. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No.” She said plainly. “I don’t. And we can’t know with Hawkmoth still around.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“He isn’t around.” Cat Noir pointed out. He took a deep breath. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Did you ever think that maybe we were only so close because of him?” He asked, voice soft. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I mean... technically... yes?” She squirmed. If there had never been Hawkmoth there’d have been no need for Ladybug and Cat Noir and the pair of them would have remained strangers. Of course his words conjured entirely different images that made her stomach churn. Hawkmoth had forced them to be closer than ever. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Maybe a common enemy was the only real reason we were friends...” Cat Noir said sadly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“That’s not true.” She said firmly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It would... it would be easier to be friends if we knew our identities. He’s not around, so it’s safe right? And it would be easier to protect each other, if he came back. There’s things I want to tell you, as Ladybug and as my best friend.” Cat Noir insisted. Her face seemed to fall. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We could meet each other’s friends. Our families. We could actually find some common ground.” He said, his excitement fading as she looked sadder with every word “I’d still love to get to know the woman behind the mask and...” he paused, debating something before adding. “I genuinely think you’d love my girlfriend.” He watched her face for a reaction, testing a theory. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Cat...” she began, her voice a warning growl. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Don't. Don’t act jealous and petty because we both know this isn’t about her.” He countered, sure of it from her face. She didn’t look jealous at all... she looked... scared? <em>Why</em> was she scared? “There’s something more to this, right?” He asked softly. She tensed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What’s actually wrong?” He prompted. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t want to talk about this.” She whispered, fairly certain she was actually going to be sick if he kept pushing. The glass was already cracked and if he pushed... Of course he was mad, of course he wanted answers, but nothing she could provide him with would be of any comfort. Her head was spinning again as she remembered exactly why she’d been avoiding him. It wasn’t his fault he made her feel so much worse. It wasn’t his fault she didn’t feel comfortable around him any more. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You mean you don’t want to talk to <em>me</em>.” He clarified, hurt.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ladybug... you said you needed space and I gave you space.” He said gently. “Hawkmoth’s gone and apparently you can trust me with Paris...” he waved the remote, the red and black device catching her eye. “But not your name? Not even your friendship?” He wasn’t dropping it. He really wanted to know who she was. Her heart raced; he had very good reasons, he made valid points about safety, he was right about her not actually being jealous because he knew her so well... Maybe... she was the guardian. She was supposed to know where all the miraculous were. She had missed him terribly. She was over him, romantically. He had a good point. He stepped closer, expression soft.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Too close.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He was too close to what she couldn’t face, and too close to her physically. She stepped back, breath catching in her chest. Because she very nearly told him. She’d very nearly got sucked in enough to say her own name. Again. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Suddenly the world came crashing down on her as she realised the last time he’d asked her for her name... claiming it was so he knew what to call out when he came. It had been a trick. She swallowed, eyes wide and looked at him in terror. Was he akumatised again? Was Hawkmoth back? Or was Cat Noir genuinely just trying to repair their friendship? To move on with their lives the way Paris had just carried on without their heroism? </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Blinking back tears she realised it wasn’t Hawkmoth that had kept them friends all these years: it was trust. An unwavering knowledge that he could never hurt her and vice versa had seen them through the toughest fights of their lives. And now that trust was broken - through no fault of his own, true, but it was shattered nonetheless, and what did that leave? </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Two strangers, effectively, standing in front of each other. Still hiding their faces behind masks, still playing superhero to a city that didn’t need saving. Not knowing the others’ name, birthday, career etc had never been a problem, the casual miscellany had never factored in to the big picture of their lives, because they’d implicitly supported each other. Then Hawkmoth had destroyed it all with the flutter of a butterfly wing. She couldn’t trust that he wasn’t compromised at any given moment. Hawkmoth had played the role so well, and Ladybug couldn’t tell anymore whether he was a threat. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ladybug?” Cat Noir looked alarmed, and it took her a moment to realise she was swaying on the spot. She couldn’t discern a friend from a foe. What use was that in battle? </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m done.” Ladybug whispered, shaking her head. “I’m done. I can’t do this any more.” She realised aloud. “Keep the remote. Keep it for as long as it works... but only call me if Hawkmoth comes back because I... I can’t be Ladybug any more.” And with that, a very shaky hand launched her yo yo and she fled without a goodbye. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He followed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Can you stop being such a drama Queen and just talk to me, please?!” He demanded, clearly frustrated by another abandonment. Ladybug’s heart rate picked up. He was <em>chasing</em> her. She’d thought it a moment of paranoia but maybe he really was akumatised? She had tried to outrun him before and failed. She wouldn’t be hunted again. A plan. She needed a plan. Turning suddenly in mid air she whipped her yo-yo as she landed snatching his bell. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Cat Noir blinked in confusion. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Uhm...” he said, lost as she smashed it in her palm and growled when it didn’t give her a butterfly. <em>Baton</em> she thought, diving for him as her adrenaline soared. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What the hell?!” He made no attempt to fight her, allowing himself to be tackled to the ground and watching as she snapped his baton in half. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Where...” she murmured, frantic. He gawped at her, realising what was going through her mind. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>When no akuma emerged from the baton she moved to unwrap his belt. He sighed dramatically, resigning himself to the fact she was going to look for the poison that wasn’t there regardless of whatever he said. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You could at least buy me dinner first.” He joked. Her eyes widened, darting down between them and realising she was straddling him... on a rooftop. <em>Oh hell.</em> She squeaked and leapt away, his tail in hand. “Are you done being insane now? Can we please just talk?” He begged. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No and no. I... I’m retiring.” She said decisively, shaking. “<em>Don’t</em> follow me again and do not ring that stupid remote for anything less than Hawkmoth showing up.” She growled, throwing the belt on the floor - knowing it would fix itself next time he transformed. This time when she launched, she didn’t hear footsteps behind her or the menacing clink of a baton, but did three circles of the block in case he was following, before landing close to Adrien’s apartment. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>It was an odd moment of clarity, as she lowered herself into an alley and whispered </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Spots off.” She was shaken, unnerved and disorientated, and her legs had carried her to Adrien’s home instead of her own. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh, Marinette...” Tikki said gently. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Paris doesn’t <em>need</em> Ladybug any more. He doesn’t <em>need</em> me. I... I can’t be around him without everything bubbling over.” Marinette said gently. “If I tell him I’ll ruin his life. I don’t want to... I don’t want him to...” she closed her eyes and took several deep breaths to steady herself and quell the rising panic. “If Hawkmoth comes back I will too but... Tikki, please understand.” She begged of her friend, still trembling. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I do.” Tikki promised. “But retiring just means no more transforming right? You’re not taking off the earrings? You’re not giving up the miracle box?” Tikki worried. For one blissful moment Marinette imagined losing her memories, of all the hurt washing away and leaving her carefree. Then she shook her head. She couldn’t do that. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’ve already lost Cat... I’m not losing you too. And the kwamis might be a rowdy bunch but they’re not judging me. Actually Duusu probably is judging me but she judges everyone. The earrings stay on. I promise.” Marinette swore, hugging the kwami before opening her purse so she could burrow into it.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Think there’s something to the fact I ran straight to Adrien when I got scared?” She wondered, staring up at the apartment building. She wasn’t used to leaning on others, but it wasn’t a need. She didn’t need him. She wanted him. Or at least that’s what she told herself. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I think you’re in love.” Tikki reasoned from her hiding place. <em>And Adrien’s had a bad night as well</em> Tikki thought. Marinette nodded. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I think so too.” She agreed softly, entering the lobby. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien rarely climbed into his apartment as Cat Noir, despite the frequent temptation after particularly long akuma fights - how easy it would be to just slide open his window and straight into bed. He’d lived too long as a celebrity though, and spent too much time being photographed as both Adrien and Cat Noir to take an unnecessary risk.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>If anyone caught Cat Noir entering Adrien Agreste’s apartment at worst his identity would be revealed, at best people would assume they were friends (or lovers... awkward) and he’d become a target so, as exhausting as the conversation with Ladybug had been, he transformed in the alleyway to the left of his building, double checking his cover before feeding Plagg. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You don’t think she’s really quitting?” He worried. “There’s definitely something more than a crush here, right? She’s being ... I don’t know... threatened or something?” He asked his kwami. He wished he’d followed her again: last time he let her leave she didn’t talk to him for months. He hadn’t meant to get frustrated with her... </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’ll try talk to Tikki again.” Plagg offered, but his already rising suspicions told him he didn’t want to know. Ladybug was trying her hardest to shield Cat Noir from the truth, which, in Plagg’s mind, made it seem more likely that Cat Noir had turned his Cataclysm on his own father whilst akumatised.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Whatever had transpired, Plagg was fairly certain it was to do with those missing few hours in May, and even more certain Adrien should be kept in the dark about it if Ladybug and Tikki both thought he should. Still - he was a several millennia old god of chaos and destruction, and a little murder between friends wouldn’t phase him that much, he didn’t understand why Tikki wouldn’t tell him about it. It wasn’t as though they hadn’t seen a lot of each other lately, and it was very unlike Tikki to keep a secret. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien sighed heavily, opening his shirt pocket and letting Plagg get comfy before venturing into his apartment block. He loved his building - the plush carpets and warm wooden doors held a myriad of neighbours who were usually happy to stop for a chat. He liked Renée on the ground floor with her two little yappy chihuahuas. He liked Mister Rawlins, the elderly diabetic gentleman next door. He even liked the young couple with the baby who cried all night on the floor below.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He’d moved out pretty much the day he turned 18, much to his father’s irritation. Whilst still working for the company, and under Nathalie’s guidance, up until his departure it hadn’t really affected how often he’d seen the man. The socialisation from friendly locals and the fact he could have his friends over when he wished was a luxury he enjoyed all the more for having achieved it on his own. He’d be grateful for his own bed after a long night. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He reached his floor and was drawing out his key as he made his way down the hallway when he realised there was a huddled lump on his doorstep. She raised her head as he approached. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Marinette? It’s...” he checked his phone “gone eleven. Is everything okay?” He asked, kneeling to meet her eyes. A small, sad smile met his gaze. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Just... I had a rough night and I sort of... wandered here. I knocked but I figured you were asleep.” She mumbled, sounding exhausted. Adrien helped her to her feet, holding her hands a second or two longer than necessary.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“So what... you were going to sleep in the corridor?” He worried. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh, no, I...” she pulled out her phone, attached by a cable to a battery pack she pointed to at her hip. “I was going to call a cab I just needed a bit of a recharge first.” She explained, catching the appreciative smile he gave her as he stood up, finally freeing his keys from his pocket.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What happened?” He asked, leading her in. She toed off her shoes and shook her head. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s a long story.” Marinette hesitated. “Is it... is it okay that I came here?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Absolutely. If you don’t want to talk about it...” Adrien said carefully, after all trying to force Ladybug to talk had not gone well, and Marinette looked dead on her feet. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t.” She whispered. “It’s nothing major, please don’t worry, I... I just ran into an old flame and things got... uncomfortable.” Marinette bit her lip - technically true. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“The ex from before me?” Adrien wondered. She nodded awkwardly. That’s what she’d referred to him as, so she’d stick with that. “Say no more.” He kissed her cheek, and vanished into his bedroom, emerging moments later with an armful of bedding. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He set the pillows and a lightweight duvet on the sofa. A head tilt met the action, Marinette seeming confused. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I figured... you’re tired?” He explained. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh... right, yes...” she murmured. “Thank you. I’m sorry.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Don’t be. You got upset, you came here... I’d rather that than you were out in the dark alone. You’re always welcome here, Marinette.” He swore, then - to her surprise, he slipped his over shirt off and lay himself down on the couch. She blinked as she realised he intended to take the sofa, and for her to stay in his bed. He was putting her first, again. Despite her unexpected arrival, he hadn’t presumed they were to share a bed or even considered not giving her the bed. A surge of warmth that had nothing to do with the summer filled her from tip to toe. He adored her... and she had no clue what she’d done to deserve him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I love you.” She blurted, startling them both. It was the first time she’d told him it, and his answering smile was wide and genuine, understanding the impact of her words. He crooked his finger, beckoning her gently toward him. As though magnetised, she moved in closer. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I love you too.” He whispered when she was close enough, reaching up to cup her face. Nuzzling slightly into the touch, she dared to be bold. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We could share the bed.” She suggested. “Not like... I don’t mean we... I meant I ...” Now was not a good time for fourteen year old Marinette to emerge, blushing and stuttering, but his smile didn’t waver. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I know what you meant.” He reassured, thumb brushing across her cheekbone. A gentle kiss to her cheekbone as he stood, and then his hand left her face, finding her fingers and interlacing them. She set her purse carefully on the sofa and allowed herself to be lead from the room. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Seeing Adrien’s bedroom was something she’d done dozens of times before without thinking about it because officially his apartment had two bedrooms but the second bedroom was more geared towards gaming and studying, with a console, television and computer desk rather than a bed. She’d been in there often. Being lead by the hand into his actual bedroom hit differently, he squeezed her hand and replaced the pillows he’d borrowed from the right side of the bed before letting go of her and heading to his wardrobe. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I think I have some stuff you can wear? It’s probably a bit big but...” Rifling through a drawer he hoped to god Plagg hadn’t hidden cheese in, he found the perfect thing: grinning as he produced his old favourite t shirt. It hadn’t fit in years but he was oddly fond of the black number with the tricolour stripes across the chest. He added a pair of lightweight jogging pants and presented them to her with a slight bow, delighting in her giggle. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You can use the bathroom first.” He gestured at a door and Marinette realised he had a second bathroom, other than the main house one. She supposed it made sense but she’d not had much cause to explore in here. “Oh and the toothbrushes come in a three pack, I just replace them every few months so there’s a spare in the medicine cabinet...” he added. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Thank you, Adrien.” She stood on tiptoe to place a kiss on his cheek and ventured into the en suite bathroom. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Smaller than the house facilities which boasted a bath, the room consisted of a shower cubicle, a toilet and a sink, with a mirrored medicine cabinet over the latter. Oddly, she found she didn’t feel out of place - it wasn’t like being a guest at a stranger’s house, more akin to staying at a hotel... unusual but not uncomfortable. Practise, she supposed, for London.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Quickly making use of the facilities, brushing her teeth with the spare toothbrush (purple) and setting it in the cup she caught sight of herself in the mirror. </p>
</div><div>
  <p><em>Paris doesn’t need Ladybug, but you need a break</em>. She thought to herself, eyeing her exhausted reflection.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Changing into his clothes brought on a level of self consciousness she hadn’t expected. A t shirt designed for a fourteen year old boy wasn’t the ideal fit on a nineteen year old woman - the shoulders too broad but the material taut across her breasts and hips. The jogging bottoms covered the awkward cling around her midriff though, so small gratitudes. The cold water she washed her face with helped shrug off a little of the nerves, and after a moment’s debate she tugged her hair free of its singular ponytail, letting it fall loose about her shoulders. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien audibly gasped when he saw her emerge from the bathroom, her arms automatically crossing over her chest to shield herself from his view. She shied away as he shuffled past her into the bathroom, making her way to the bed once he left. Adrien had initially taken the pillows from the right hand side of the bed, so she assumed that was his usual spot, content to settle herself on the left. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Rich people, apparently, spared no expense when it came to beds. Adrien had toned down the apartment considerably, the place nothing like the mansion he’d grown up in, and while it was a little flashy and certainly beyond the price range of Marinette, Alya and Nino, it wasn’t anything too extravagant... but the bed was an entirely different story. The sheets boasted thread counts Marinette could only dream of designing with, the mattress firm but with enough give to adjust to the curves of her figure, and the blankets were thin enough for the summer heat, without tangling. Marinette decided she wanted to marry the soft pillows, laying her cheek on one and breathing in deeply. The fact they smelled of Adrien’s shampoo helped. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>When he came back, Adrien flicked a bedside lamp on and turned off the main light, plunging them into a warm glow. He climbed in beside her and rolled onto his side, facing her. She copied his motion. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I like your hair.” He told her, reaching out and toying with a strand of it. Blushing furiously, Marinette fell mute. “I mean I always like your hair, but seeing it down...” he murmured, stroking her face in adoration. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Are you okay with just kissing?” The words were out of her mouth before she could think, but this time Adrien didn’t seem shocked. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“<em>Just</em> kissing?” He said, amused. “Marinette... I think you underestimate how much I enjoy <em>just</em> kissing you.” His tone was soft and warm, and Marinette inched closer, letting him envelop her, his arm forming a loose loop about her waist. His kiss held true to his statement, gentle, soft, sweet. Marinette melted, losing herself in the feather light touch of his lips brushing hers, in the winding of his fingers through her loose hair, in the minuscule moments in between kisses where she could feel his breath on her cheeks. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I love you.” She whispered again, a little more confidently than her first admission. He beamed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You were upset when you said it earlier I didn’t want to hold you to it...” he mumbled, awestruck that she actually meant it. “Seriously?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Seriously.” She promised, entranced by how the words affected him. Like Christmas had come early, like nothing in the world outside could ever harm them in the safe little nest of his bedroom. She wanted to cry. She kissed him instead. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>—— </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She’d quickly developed a list of the best things about being Adrien’s girlfriend: every day the list seemed to increase, with the rankings being rearranged every time she found a new favourite. Waking up in his arms was currently vying for the top spot. At some point during the night they’d shifted into a spooning pose, with Adrien curled at her back and his arm tucked around her waist. His steady breathing suggested he was still sleeping, and she closed her eyes, enjoying the long moment of peace. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Knowing she’d left cookies in her purse meant she didn’t need to worry Tikki would get caught venturing out in search of food and she’d already text her mother to let her know she wouldn’t be home. She had nothing to worry about for a long moment. Adrien stirred behind her, tensing for a few seconds before recalling the situation. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Morning.” He purred in her ear. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Morning.” She hummed back. His lips met her jaw - mostly for the sake of ease, the angle didn’t allow for a real kiss. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“This is nice.” She whispered, picking up his hand from where it had settled on her stomach to kiss his knuckles gently. He hummed in agreement, running his nose gently down the line of her throat.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It is. If I promise not to use Camembert, can I cook breakfast?” He joked, his breath tickling her collarbone. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You let me stay over, I should cook.” She rolled around, so she was facing him. This close they melded together, and her heart rate spiked as her breasts pressed against his chest. She took a moment to force her breathing to slow but Adrien didn’t comment on it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Fine, but I’m helping.” There was no real argument in his voice, nudging her nose with his own.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re beautiful.” He whispered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Says you!” Marinette laughed, calming down. “You’re literally gorgeous for a living.” She punctuated her own compliment with a kiss. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Eh, I blame camera angles.” He smirked, pressing slightly closer as he kissed her again, a little more boldly. Marinette loosened her jaw, returning the kiss and sliding her arms up to the back of his neck. He groaned and arched slightly away from her, and she made to chase his lips with her own but wasn’t expecting him to pull away quite as suddenly as he did. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Uhm. Right. We should... dressed. We should get dressed.” He said quickly, sitting up in a hurry. Marinette blinked, confused by the sudden whiplash. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What’d I do wrong?” She worried. He didn’t look happy... hadn’t they been blissfully post-sleep moments ago? In a hazy morning dream? </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“N...nothing, Mari.” He muttered, clambering out of bed and sprinting toward the bathroom. Marinette huffed, but dragged herself away from the warm nest too. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Having abandoned her clothes in the bathroom, she dared venture into the kitchen in the borrowed articles from the night before, figuring she could correct whatever misstep she’d made by starting on pancakes. She’d measured out the first few dry ingredients when Adrien returned, fully dressed and looking suitably sheepish. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Everything okay?” Marinette asked, concerned. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She offered up the bowl of powdered ingredients and a wooden spoon she’d dug out of a drawer, busying herself locating eggs and milk. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s fine. Tell me what to do with the mix and you can go get dressed.” He promised. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m okay in this for now.” She said, oddly less self conscious than the night before. He gave her a helpless look that only served to confuse her further but just sighed and nodded. Marinette had no clue what she’d done to upset him, but her instructions were whispered from that point on, and she fried the mix and flipped in silence trying to figure it out. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He looked so... uncomfortable. She sat down opposite him, placing the plates down. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Are you mad at me?” She asked, a little bewildered. His face fell. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No. You’re not mad at me?” He worried. Even more confused, Marinette shook her head. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Why would I be mad?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“For... making things awkward earlier? I didn’t mean to it just sort of happens! Mornings especially and you were... I wasn’t trying to be a creep! But you were in my bed, in my arms, not wearing a bra, we were kissing... it... it’s got a mind of it’s own I swear!” He panicked. Suddenly Marinette realised the situation and it took everything she had not to giggle. Oh. He looked embarrassed, flushed a furious pink as he tried to cut his pancakes and avoid eye contact. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She’d turned him on.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Surprisingly, the fact didn’t fill her with a sense of dread - looking back she’d been just as into it as he had, hadn’t she? Had barely even panicked. Maybe it was because they were no longer in the position of it being an issue, but she found herself pleased with the idea. There was a certain power in it, and as much as she was loathed to dwell on her first time it had thrilled her with Cat Noir too, hadn’t it? Knowing she could turn him on. That hit differently knowing he hadn’t been in charge but still. For the first time in months she felt sexy, and that wasn’t <em>necessarily</em> a bad thing, right?</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s fine.” She told him, reaching a bare foot under the table to nudge his calf, gently bumping the denim. “I don’t mind.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m sorry.” He said again. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Don’t be.” She smiled. “You’re cute when you’re flustered.” And that statement was more than enough to turn Adrien’s pink cheeks a vivid scarlet. She smiled at him, tucking into her breakfast oddly proud of herself. She hadn’t panicked so maybe London wouldn’t be such a nightmare after all? </p>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So... who thinks London’s going to go well?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Getting lucky in London?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Tags are being updated accordingly. Please note this chapter, contains a character having a panic attack.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div>
  <p>London was like something out of a movie. She’d been before but only on a class trip, visiting a few monuments such as the House of Lords and Downing Street. Adrien was no stranger to the city though and with his help navigating, aside from the big hitter tourist destinations they discovered little cafés, fish and chip shops, book stores and a fantastic green park right in the middle of all the grey pavement and stone architecture, that they chose to wander around for an hour or two whilst eating. The premier would be at 7pm, and they were to meet with hair and make up at 5.30pm, having spent the day wandering around London. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We only got lost twice, I’m counting that as a win.” Adrien grinned, his arm looped through hers. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Three times - I’m telling you that wasn’t the same theatre as we passed the first time.” She insisted, but beamed all the same. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“People don’t stop to take my picture here...” he mused, fascinated and relieved as park goers strolled passed him by without a second glance. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well, that’s because world domination isn’t your thing.” Marinette hummed.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No, it’s yours. Tonight’s the British debut of Marinette Design.” He grinned, taking her hand and twirling her. Just in her jeans and a tank top, the elegant motion seemed a little out of place, serving mostly to unsettle her stomachful of fish and chips more than anything, but tonight she’d be donning a dress of her own handiwork, and she couldn’t be more thrilled. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien was still legally obligated to Gabriel’s label (although they both did wonder who exactly was going to stop him from breaching his contract at this point) and while he’d selected one of his many Gabriel brand outfits he had co-ordinated with Marinette on their colour scheme: making sure his accents matched hers. Finishing their impromptu dance he pulled her close and kissed her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Get a room.” Complained a passerby. Marinette hid her face in Adrien’s neck, giggling. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Joke’s on her, we have a room.” Adrien teased. Marinette hummed and nodded. They did have a room - a very nice one in fact, had she not been thrumming with nervous energy she’d probably have appreciated it more when they dropped off their luggage earlier. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Tonight, she had decided to be brave. With Tikki as cheerleader, and the cloying red suit on temporary standby, she fully intended to do <em>something</em> tonight. Adrien had been patient enough, and clearly it was something they both had on their mind.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Emboldened by how easy it had been waking up in his arms the other morning, Marinette had gone home that day and explored herself in a way she’d been unable to for months. Instead of beginning dutifully and then being mentally assaulted by unwelcome mental images of a pink butterfly mask, or the sensation of claws on her skin in place of her hands and having to immediately stop, for the first time she’d enjoyed herself. She’d come undone under her own fingertips, and could credit that orgasm as her turning point. She was ready. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>While the thought was nearly as dizzying as the spin he’d launched on her, it was also oddly grounding to be able to plan for it. So she’d purchased condoms in case it got that far, she’d brought a bag full of electric candles (because the hotel had a no smoking policy and she didn’t want an alarm to ruin the mood). Marinette decided could be scared and sad her whole life or she could try to move on. She loved him. He loved her. It would be different this time. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>——————</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The flashes of the photographers followed them down the red carpet, bright lights twinkling in their vision long after they stepped into the darkened cinema. The movie was some epic romance film that they didn’t really follow (Adrien whispered a translation to her where he could, only endearing himself in her eyes all the more) but it was cutesy enough. They skipped the after party - networking in another country, in a niche that wasn’t their own wasn’t really necessary, and aside from Clara Nightingale they didn’t know any of the attendees by name. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>So, drunk on the atmosphere and enchanted by the night, they walked back to the hotel instead of taking the provided limo. The narrow strips of sky they could see between the rows of tall buildings were scattered with a few stars - light pollution of the city robbing them of a fair few, but still presenting them with more twinkle than they usually saw in Paris. City of lights and all. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Your outfit turned heads.” He whispered in her ear. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Including yours?” She asked, extending her arms and twirling of her own accord, the lilac fabric of her skirt whirling around about her hips. He beamed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Couldn’t keep my eyes off of you. Honestly, how are you not famous yet?” He wondered, awestruck by her dress. Draped in lilac, accented with black, she matched his suit on the inverse, his outfit largely black with a lilac dress shirt. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She’d tailored it perfectly to her own measurements, so it hugged every curve (although she wouldn’t admit that a lack of super heroism and a penchant for ice cream in moments of emotional crisis had meant she’d needed to adjust the seams a little since she’d first designed it). A straight, corset style bodice in black, that hooked across the front of her chest, tapering into a twirly lilac knee length skirt, layered in silk and tulle. She felt like a superstar. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Because I’m nineteen and still working on my degree.” Marinette quipped, sticking her tongue out. He gave a look that equated to ‘fair enough’ as they reached the building. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette was giddy. She couldn’t blame it on the alcohol, she’d only had a sip of champagne - never had been fond of the stuff. She blamed London. She blamed freedom. She blamed the fact Adrien really hadn’t been able to keep his eyes off of her, and how that gaze had made her shiver delightfully, and that Alya had been incessantly demanding sexy details Marinette didn’t even understand half of. The key card swept through the reader with a beep, and Adrien headed straight for the sofa. She giggled, pleased by his innocent intentions. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Adrien... take me to bed.” She said softly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Already?” He pouted, the pet lip adorable. “I thought we could stick the subtitles on and see what’s happening in the British soaps?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Adrien... I <em>mean...</em> take me to bed.” She whispered, tossing her purse onto the two seater gently, so as not to harm Tikki or damage the cat toy she prayed wouldn’t go off. Cat Noir needing her at this moment would be truly horrific timing.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien blinked slowly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh. You’re sure?” He asked, hesitating. Sure, he’d kind of hoped but he hadn’t actually expected... She smiled and nodded. She was sure. Adrien grinned - swooping past the sofa and picking her up in a bridal lift. Gasping at the sudden motion she grabbed on to his shoulders for balance. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What’s got into you?” She asked, trying not to be thrown at the surge of confidence. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“An amazing evening with a beautiful woman?” He suggested, opening the bedroom door with his elbow. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Easing her down on to the bed he kissed her without hesitation - affection still the primary emotion, but an undercurrent of desire swept her bottom lip with every press of his mouth. He kissed her like a man in love, and Marinette felt drugged, pulling him back every time he wandered to her jaw or her neck for too long.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Keeping their lips locked he worked his own suit jacket off (it was far too warm for a full suit anyway) and tossed it carelessly aside, belatedly realising he’d have to apologise to Plagg who had been hiding in the pocket later. He knew he’d make himself scarce as soon as possible via the floorboards though. Her hands roved his shoulders and arms through the thin lilac cotton. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>They’d made out before, but always under the unspoken parameter of: no more than this. She was in heaven, delirious with the idea of not holding back... until he nipped her earlobe. It was a fairly innocent motion, but she was suddenly forcibly reminded of Cat Noir’s attempts to steal her miraculous. Brushing it off, she refused to let it shake her. <em>Hawkmoth doesn’t have power over me here. </em>She tipped her head sideways, giving him further access to her throat. Gladly accepting the invitation, he nibbled further downward, nudging the fabric of her neckline down slightly as he kissed her exposed collarbone. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>And then his body shifted a little, so he was atop her, his weight pinning her. What should have been an easier, more intimate position left her feeling trapped, with something achingly familiar pressing hard against her thigh. Unbidden, the words <em>You’re about to get a baton where you ought not to </em>rang in her head. Confused as she was, the words seemed to hit her in Adrien’s voice. They didn’t sound that similar in real life, did they? Her mind was playing tricks on her. She was still in the process of trying to shake off that thought when his handfound her breast, kneading gently through the fabric. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Every semblance of rational thought she had suddenly left her head, ecstasy replaced instantly with pure terror. Panic clawed at her throat and snatched words of protest from her throat. <em>Stop </em>she thought desperately, but the word wouldn’t form.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien sucked gently at her collarbone, careful not to leave a mark that would inflame the paparazzi.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Tell me if I’m doing anything wrong okay?” He whispered, flicking the front hooks of her dress bodice open. <em>I want you to stop</em> she thought, but her mouth was too dry, her throat felt tight as her chest was bared to him. Suddenly exposed, uncomfortable, and absolutely petrified (<em>why</em> did his hesitation sound so much like Cat Noir had when Hawkmoth had been goading her into taking charge, to go further?) Marinette stopped thinking. As his curious fingertips grazed the bare skin of her breast she swore she felt leather and stopped breathing altogether. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The next thing she knew her knuckles collided with Adrien’s cheek, with enough force to knock him sideways off the bed. Her hand flew to her mouth and she choked back a sob, just as alarmed by her sudden action as he was. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien’s eyes were wide, and a dramatic pink mark blossomed where she’d struck him as he recovered from the blow but not the shock. His confused, hurt expression was immediately replaced with concern, back on his feet in an instant. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Mari?” He asked, approaching quickly. As affronted as he’d been by the blow, her face spoke volumes. She was terrified, and Adrien’s stomach churned at that realisation. Because there was only one reason he could think of for a reaction like that and he felt sick at the thought. “Marinette? It’s okay, breathe.” He whispered, stopping a foot away from the bed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t see. Everything seemed blurry. Only vaguely aware of him talking, she sat up slowly, trying to remember how to inhale. Whatever Adrien was saying, it hit her like it was coming through a bad tv reception, buzzing in her brain and rattling around without sinking in. The only sound she could really make out was a ragged pant that it didn’t even occur to her was coming from her own mouth as she fought for breath. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien didn’t touch her, half convinced she’d punch him again if he tried but she didn’t even seem to be aware he was still in the room. Swallowing hard Adrien rooted through his pockets and found his phone. An ambulance seemed like overkill. Chewing his lip, watching her tremble he googled:</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>What to do when someone’s having a panic attack </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p><em>Stay calm</em>. Okay. Okay. He cleared his mind, which was veering into dark territory. <em>Speak slowly, in short sentences, reassure them</em>. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Marinette. I’m here. It’s okay.” He whispered, voice soft. She didn’t seem to hear him. He scanned his phone again. He didn’t know if she was taking any medication to help with panic, and didn’t want to leave her to go check in her purse, so he wrote that one off as <em>stay with them</em> was also on the list. Thank god for Google, he had no clue what to do here. <em>Help them breathe by breathing with them and counting to ten</em>. He could do that. He could count. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>By the time her vision cleared, he was sat beside her on the bed, not so close that he was touching, with his hands in his lap. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Six... seven... eight...” were the first words she heard clearly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“OH MY GOD, I HIT YOU!” She squeaked, coming back to herself, horrified. Adrien nodded carefully. She was responding again, but he wasn’t entirely sure she was out of it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes, you did...” He said, exhaling slowly. “Nine... ten...” he continued. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh my god...” Marinette breathed. She finally breathed. In and out. In and out. Only half aware she was following his slow count as he started over. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Want a glass of water?” He suggested when her breathing levelled off. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Huh?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Google said it helps.” He said awkwardly, waving his phone, the screen still lit up. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Adrien I <em>hit</em> you, and you’re offering me water?!” She squawked, standing up and realising her bodice was still undone. She flushed and refastened it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m pretty sure you had a panic attack, so I’m offering you water.” He clarified still speaking in the calm voice the internet had recommended. Marinette blinked - A panic attack? That explained a lot... she shook her head. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I punched you. That’s not okay!” Marinette breathed, grabbing her duffel bag and ignoring the taunting clink of the candles within that she’d forgotten about. She had to leave. Except... she was in London. In the middle of a strange country. Sure, she had the horse miraculous but that was supposed to be for emergencies only and this was definitely a personal problem... Tikki would probably be mad, right?... Kaalki probably wouldn’t care though.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien would worry, even if he was upset with her... she couldn’t leave. Adrien had already got to his feet and was standing in front of the door looking anxious. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Marinette... I’m... I’m not trying to trap you or anything but you understand why I can’t let you run out in the middle of the night, in London, while you’re shaking like a leaf?” He said gently, nodding to her hands. A leaf was an understatement, her hands were practically vibrating. “Put your bag down, please?” Adrien begged. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>A thump as she dropped it, her eyes darting around as she considered her exits. Adrien quickly opened the door, he had no experience of panic attacks but knew a little about feeling trapped and his current theory on why she was acting so erratically suggested the bedroom probably wasn’t the best place for this conversation. He didn’t want to think about it... but knew he was going to have to ask. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We can go sit on the sofa?” He suggested softly, leaving the room first so she wouldn’t have to pass him, in the hopes she’d follow. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She followed, but didn’t sit, pacing in agitation instead. He poured them both some water from the cooler at the wall and set the little plastic cups on the table, watching as she flitted around nervously. Only when it became apparent that she wasn’t going to talk did Adrien dare to speak up. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Marinette...” he said gently. “Drink.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t want a drink.” She muttered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’ll help... Do you know what a red flag is?” She didn’t answer but stilled in her frantic motions, freezing on the spot. “It’s a warning... a sign of danger that you shouldn’t ignore... and I’m sorry. I think... I think I’ve missed several with you, about your last relationship... haven’t I?” He spoke carefully, watching as her eyes widened.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien swallowed hard. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“When you said things got... too physical...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m not abusive I swear! I don’t get violent like that! I didn’t mean to hit you! But I did. Oh no, I did. I did and we should call the police... what’s the English number for 112?” She squeaked, talking rapidly and reaching for the hotel phone. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No.” He said quickly, shaking his head. “No, I don’t think you’re... Marinette, I don’t think you’re violent. I’ve seen enough punches in my time to know what that was... you... you were scared. That was fear... self defence... right?” He asked cautiously. She didn’t answer, but hopped from foot to foot, eyeing her purse. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Worried she was still entertaining thoughts of fleeing, he bit his lip. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’ve got a hell of a right hook, I’m impressed.” He joked, attempting to ease her mind. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m so sorry...” She choked, shaking her head. Suit or not, she was still stronger than the average girl her age: she couldn’t just go round punching civilians. What if she’d really hurt him? Oh no. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I know. I know, and it’s okay. Nothing a little make up won’t cover.” He reassured, knowing he could take a little more roughing up than most. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“But... when you said... when you said things got too physical and you’d got hurt... I shouldn’t have assumed that you meant...” Marinette could hear the pain in his voice and knew he’d assumed she’d been dumped immediately after sleeping with someone. She hadn’t minded that inference - it wasn’t a million miles off, after all. She’d implied it herself. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t need details tonight.” He told her. “We don’t have to drag it all up... but I... I do kind of <em>have</em> to ask...” he held his breath for a long moment, the question seemed too awful to actually verbalise, but he had to. “Marinette, were you... sexually assaulted?” Adrien’s question opened the floodgates, tears streaming down Marinette’s face as the word wouldn’t come out and her thoughts jumbled.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She’d consented. It hadn’t been his fault. Nobody had invited Hawkmoth along for the ride though... it had been him at the helm, right? That counted? Adrien waited patiently for a response, twiddling his hands on his own lap nervously. She nodded. She couldn’t stop nodding, sending tears splashing down her front. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes.” She whispered, accepting the terminology. It was accurate. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien looked like he wanted to stand, but kept himself rooted to the sofa. He’d never wanted to hug her more than he did in that moment but didn’t dare frighten her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Marinette. I’m so sorry.” He breathed. “I’m so sorry and we don’t have to have sex. Ever. Mari, I know that you know I wouldn’t force you but I promise there’s no pressure okay? At all. We don’t have to have sex if you don’t want to.” He clarified. Her eyes widened. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You still want to be with me?” She asked incredulously. “I <b>hit</b> you, Adrien!” His face fell, realising that of all things that was what she was most concerned about right now. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“That was an... understandable reaction.” He swallowed. “Of course I still want to be with you. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Hesitantly, Marinette crossed to the sofa, shifting her purse so as not to squash her kwami who was hopefully still ensconced in the little travel pack. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I wanted to.” She mumbled, sitting down beside him. “I... I planned for tonight, Adrien, it wasn’t just a spur of the moment decision. I... I thought I was okay... I’ve been doing so much better...” She whispered sadly, reaching across and taking his hand. He squeezed it, the only form of comfort he could offer her without cuddling her, and he suspected that would still be a bit much for now.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“The first few days I... I jumped every time someone touched me. I wanted to avoid the world because... because why does everyone want to touch me all of a sudden?” Adrien thought back to the days before he’d asked her out but after learning of her breakup. How jittery and nervous she’d been. He hated that he’d missed that. There had been so many warnings and he felt sick for having missed them. She’d literally run to him, scared, after so much as seeing her ex. Had been so hesitant. He brushed his thumb along the back of her knuckles. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I didn’t know if I’d be able to handle dating...” Marinette admitted, staring at their hands. “But you...” tears stained her cheeks and she was still trembling, but a small smile graced her face. “Adrien, I don’t know what I did to deserve you. You’re amazing.” She murmured, raising their entwined fingers and kissing his knuckles delicately. “You were sweet. Patient. Gentle. I... I fell in love with you at a time when I didn’t even know if I’d ever be capable of that again. You... you loved me when I didn’t feel very worthy of being loved.” She murmured.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I <em>wanted</em> tonight and it wasn’t because I felt pressured or because we had a hotel room or anything. I wanted to because I love you. I wanted to feel closer to you. I wanted to...” she broke off, offering him a slightly helpless expression, unable to vocalise that the urge was still there, that he turned her on and she wanted to have sex with him but her brain had got in the way.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s not you,” was how it came out. “If you’d picked a better girlfriend you’d have gotten lucky ages ago.” She apologised, embarrassed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I got lucky the day you said yes.” Adrien told her firmly. “I have the most wonderful girlfriend in the world and she loves me too. That’s pretty lucky.” He breathed, shaking his head. “Please don’t feel like you’re letting me down.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I am though...” she sighed. “We both have... you know... hormones and... and needs and stuff.” She mumbled, still unsure how to phrase it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Without meaning to be crass I’ve been taking care of myself for long enough that that won’t be an issue for me.” He said awkwardly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Can an adult relationship even survive without sex?” She worried, unsure if and when she’d ever be ready if this was still her reaction months later. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes.” He didn’t hesitate. He sounded so certain. “There are ways to be intimate without sex, we can work on it together? We can be close without it.” He swore, convinced. Marinette took several deep breaths before reaching up and cupping his injured cheek. A pink welt where she’d struck him glowed against his normally perfect skin. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m so sorry...” she whispered. “I tried to stop it before it got that bad but I... I couldn’t speak.” She said weakly. He tilted his head toward her palm, kissing the heel of it cautiously. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We’ll try to avoid it getting that bad again then.” He promised. Slowly nodding, she moved into his arms and cuddled him, earning a sigh of relief as he wrapped his arms around her. “I love you.” He told her gently. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I love you too.” Marinette mumbled against his shirt. He kissed her forehead. “I’m kind of done talking for tonight though.” She confessed.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah. Yeah, tonight was a lot.” He agreed, stroking her back. The little touches comforted her, she knew they were meant well and intended to soothe. “You can have the bed if you like?” Adrien offered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We can share. I trust you.” She promised, nuzzling into him. Marinette suspected he’d need reassurance about what was and wasn’t okay, but she didn’t mind. “I like sleeping with you. You’re cuddly.” She hummed, exhausted from the emotional effort. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>It wasn’t how she’d wanted the night to go. In an ideal world she’d be snuggled up in post coital bliss, satisfied and calm in his arms in bed. She tried not to lament on the lost night of passion, choosing instead to be reassured that this wasn’t the end, that they could work on it together. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Then let’s go to bed.” He agreed, standing and helping her to her feet. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She fell asleep in his arms long before his mind quieted. Someone had hurt her. Someone had hurt her and he hadn’t noticed, had been so wrapped up in his own problems (his father was a supervillain, he was allowed to worry about that, he reasoned), caught up in his own joy that she chose to be with him, that he hadn’t seen the warning signs. He was furious at her ex. He was hurt to know she’d been in pain and struggling through something so big on her own. He was devastated that he’d missed it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He stroked her back lightly as she slept, still in the night’s dress and make up. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m sorry.” He whispered into her hair, vowing to pay more attention in future. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>—————</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>By morning an impressive mark had formed on Adrien’s cheekbone, a vibrant purple bruise staining his face. She woke first as he slept on, blissfully unaware of her gaze on him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Tentatively, her fingertips touched the wounded flesh in silent apology. She’d never meant to hurt him. Adrien didn’t stir. As content as she was in his arms, she needed the bathroom, and wanted to avoid the inevitable awkwardness of accidentally turning him on again, so dropped a delicate kiss to the injury before shuffling out of the bed and to the bathroom. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Perhaps the flush of the toilet, or the running of the taps over the sink had roused him, but when she returned, clothes changed, make up stripped and ready to face the day, Adrien was awake. He looked nervous, sitting up as she entered the room. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Morning.” She said carefully. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Morning...” He trailed off on the last syllable, eyeing her with apprehension. For a moment she was confused, normally he’d be quietly affectionate, sweet and soft. He seemed hesitant to approach, but got out of bed all the same. Marinette hurried over, kissing him without preamble. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You won’t break me.” She told him, when they broke apart. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Huh?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You don’t have to be... anything we’ve already done I’m comfortable with. Please don’t hesitate to hug me or kiss me, if... if you want to?” She pleaded. Heaving a sigh of relief, Adrien wrapped his arms around her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Good... that’s good.” He breathed into her shoulder, holding her that little bit tighter. “We’re okay?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We’re okay.” She promised. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>———————</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>With school about to restart, their regular four person meet up to celebrate the end of summer became a double date. Marinette and Adrien arrived at the restaurant to find the other couple already there, grinning broadly at them. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Welcome home.” Nino said cheerfully. “How was London?” But before Adrien or Marinette could answer, Alya had leapt toward. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Everyone is talking about your dress!” She squealed with delight, hands on Marinette’s shoulders as she jumped around in excitement. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Seriously?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“The internet went crazy.” Nino agreed. “You looked good too, Adrien.” He added, Adrien laughed it off and swept his hand to draw attention back to the designer. A little make up had hidden the worst of the bruising, and he hoped the restaurant lighting would disguise it completely. He could just ask Plagg for assistance: the kwami was able to heal him if he transformed, but he could hardly explain the vanishing bruise to Marinette who was overly conscious of it. So he continued on with the make up, both appalled and fascinated by how strong Marinette’s fear had been that she was able to leave such a mark on an out of costume super hero. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Alya’s glee was barely contained. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You should let me do a new website for you! Get your name out there!” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ooh... I’ve got some excess stock the university doesn’t claim rights over.” Marinette pondered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Could be a good jumping off point? An online boutique? It would increase your commissions...” Adrien mused, sitting beside Nino as the girls huddled up and started whispering about business plans. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien rested his chin on his hand, staring at her in unbridled adoration. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“London went well then.” Nino snickered as Marinette caught him staring and gave a shy little wave, continuing her conversation with Alya. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah London’s great - not a patch on Paris though.” Adrien stretched and reached for the menu, Nino leaning in shoulder to shoulder to read it too.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>It occurred to Adrien only then what Marinette had meant by everyone touching her. He was more than used to Nino and Alya in his personal space, and Marinette seemed fine with it now: Alya was holding her forearm as they browsed something on her phone.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He couldn’t imagine being in her shoes, afraid of basic contact he’d once so longed for. She sat with her shoulders down, relaxed and calm... looking for all the world like there was nothing wrong. This was how he’d missed it. She was a fantastic actress. Adrien realised in that moment that she was the bravest person he’d ever met. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sure he and Ladybug tackled supervillains, but Marinette? Marinette had dealt with this all on her own. She’d carried on, regardless, balancing the world on her shoulders and smiling all the while. That was a feat far braver than (and possibly just as dangerous as) him running into fireballs or getting eaten by ancient beasts. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I love you.” He said softly, determined that she wouldn’t have to get through it alone now. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Talking to the menu, dude.” Nino laughed. Adrien turned scarlet realising he hadn’t actually addressed her, and that he’d spoken so quietly the girls hadn’t noticed, lost in their plotting. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Eh. She knows.” He said, deciding not to interrupt them. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You got it bad.” Nino chuckled. Adrien nodded.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Absolutely.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>—————— </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You know... I have a spare room.” Adrien said, he and Marinette curled up on the sofa with her shoulder against his chest. She had a notebook open on her lap, sketches and notes littering the page. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hm?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Just... if you’re starting to produce more designs, and you wanted a space to do it?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I mostly use my parents’ place as a sewing room, when we’re not at school.” She murmured, putting the end of her pencil between her teeth. “Why is this not working?” she sighed, holding her drawing up and scowling. Maybe if she inverted the colour scheme... </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Looks perfect to me.” He kissed her cheek. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You are biased.” She huffed.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m also in the industry and I know what sells.” He pointed out. “Casual enough to be worn on the street, but throw a belt on and some drop earrings and that’s fine for formal wear. It’s an absolute staple: any woman would want it in her wardrobe. It’s a <em>little black dress</em>... just pink and white.” He grinned. Marinette set her book down on the coffee table. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I love it when you talk fashion.” She purred, delighting in the soft laugh he gave her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Since London, they’d largely avoided the topic of sex, making out occasionally but never treading the line. With school starting again soon, Marinette worried they’d have less time to spend together. She wanted to stay the night more often, but didn’t know how to ask. She wanted to kiss him senseless on the sofa, but didn’t want to tease. Instead she caressed his cheek, the bruise having faded into a faint hint over the week or so since London.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s healing well.” She whispered, guilt seeping in. He kissed the heel of her palm. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s fine. Vincent didn’t mind me rescheduling this week’s shoot, and the make up’s hidden it from the press. People are talking about you instead - which they <em>should</em> be.” He insisted. “You did look amazing in that dress. Probably one of your best pieces.” Adrien’s praise fell on deaf ears, his girlfriend still assessing the mark on his skin with worry.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She rested her forehead against his.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m so sorry I hit you.” She mumbled. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Marinette...” he murmured. “Please stop apologising. It’s okay.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s not okay.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Okay... it’s not okay.” Adrien clarified. “But it’s understandable. It’s a reaction to trauma. Have...” he bit his lip. He didn’t want to push her. “Have you considered therapy?” He asked carefully, playing with her ponytail. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“There’s no therapy for what I went through.” Marinette said immediately, sighing softly.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“There is.” He said, unabashed and clueless to the context. “There’s a whole specialised field for it. I’ve got a list of local ones on my computer and everything, for when you’re ready.” He promised her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s... complicated.” She told him, shaking her head. She knew there were therapists for sexual assault, but as far as she was aware no akuma had ever seduced someone clueless to their condition.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>How could she expect a stranger to understand that? How could she even tell the story without revealing she was Ladybug? It wasn’t like she could just craft a story, tell it and be done. There’d be questions. There’d be follow ups. She’d have to remember which parts she’d lied about, and if she forgot she’d look like she was making the whole thing up. The entire notion of therapy made her more nervous. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s probably not as complicated as you think it is.” He spoke gently, his words were kind. Her eyes darted to the ceiling and Adrien realised she was trying not to cry. Deciding not to press on cracked glass he left it there. “Just consider it? In the mean time I do have another list. I printed it off and everything.” He hoped she’d be more excited by that prospect, and leapt up, disappearing into the spare room before returning with a sheet of paper. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What’s this?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I looked it up... you’re not the only person this has happened to. And I know you love a good plan so...” He sat down beside her and squeezed her shoulder gently. “There’s whole forums on how people dealt with it and this... I know you were worried about us not being closer... so this is a list of things people in relationships can do to still feel you know... loved, confident and cared for but without sex.” He said gently, handing her the sheet of paper.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Some of those are a bit beyond us... I just wrote down the ones people said were most helpful, obviously stuff like taking a bath together isn’t the same for us as it would be for couples who’ve already... I just thought it might help.” He said awkwardly, watching her face as she scanned the list. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Adrien...” she whispered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It was stupid, I’m sorry I just thought...” he babbled, wishing he’d never even looked it up. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Adrien. I love you.” She insisted. “And this is really sweet. That you’ve been researching and figuring out how to... is... that’s... I don’t know how to say it but thank you...” she whispered. Some things on the list were, as Adrien had said, a little beyond them - for now at least she was wary of bathing with him or undressing in front of each other - others seemed odd, she wasn’t sure how brushing each other’s hair was supposed to help conquer her fears, but most of them were simple. She looked forward to most of them. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p><em>Sharing a bed</em>.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>That one she already knew she liked. </p>
</div><div>
  <p><em>Talking about it</em>.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Maybe at some point. How much could she even share with him without risking her identity? At least it wouldn’t be his job to analyse her story. She might be able to explain it... later. Not now. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>Talking about your day</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>such a small thing, but she supposed it made sense. A welcome change of subject.  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>Holding hands</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>they did that all the time anyway </p>
</div><div>
  <p><em>Fantasising</em> ?!</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette blinked at that one. Could be... interesting. Some of the list made her blush, but she knew Adrien had included things they could either work up to or rule out right away (seriously... <em>masturbating in front of each other</em>? She made Tikki leave the room for that and Tikki had no sexuality at all!). </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Thank you, Adrien.” She said softly.</p>
</div><div>
  <p><em>Reminders that you love each other</em>.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The list she held in her hands was one of those all in itself. He’d gone out of his way to ensure they were okay. He kissed her cheek gently. “I’ll look at the therapist list later.” She mumbled in additional promise. </p>
</div><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you so much for reading. Even bigger thank you to everyone who’s reviewing - it means a lot.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The truth. Mostly.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Happy Valentine’s Day! Have some angst, some truth, some more lies, and a pair of very confused kwamis.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div>
  <p>September brought a flurry of changes. School restarted with a vengeance, tossing work and a busy schedule back onto everyone’s plates. Alya finished the website design and sent it live: Marinette was officially in business. Business, it turned out, was complicated: registering trade names and tax filing was exhausting, and she was grateful she had two other aspiring business majors to help with paperwork because as ahead as she’d been with her schoolwork - she was lost.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>While she was mostly selling off premade designs - excess stock that had no home, she also received a sudden influx of commissions to the point she had to close the request box after three days to save herself taking on more than she could handle. Largely, she supposed that was due to her newfound fame as Adrien Agreste’s girlfriend. That alone made her a bit uncomfortable, the thought that she was riding his coat tails instead of making her own name. Did they want a design because she was talented, or because of her association with all things Adrien. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re getting more traffic than the Ladyblog these days.” Alya mused from her spot at the university library computer. Marinette had given Alya permission to turn the website into a project for her web design class, so technically Alya was studying. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“The Cat blog you mean.” Nino joked. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hm?” Marinette asked, looking up from her book on Renaissance era costume in France. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“With Hawkmoth and now Ladybug MIA it’s mostly just photos of Cat Noir.” Nino fielded, assuming Marinette was out of the loop.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I wish they’d just make a statement about it.” Alya groaned, bashing her head on the computer desk. “Like is she safe? I mean if Hawkmoth fucked off it’s because they beat him right? Why not celebrate? Why not reassure us that we’re not under attack any more? And is she on vacation or has she hung up her earrings or what?” Stressed the blogger. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Maybe she’s earned a break.” Marinette said coldly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh, absolutely. She’s been working on Hawkmoth for years, and if she’s sunning herself in the Maldives good for her, but I’d still feel a lot better if I actually knew she was safe.” Sighed Alya, adjusting the size of the text on Marinette’s shop site. Alya had been programming since she was in a training bra - her previous web design attempts made managing Marinette’s website a cake walk, but it didn’t mean she couldn’t make it pretty. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Me too.” Adrien said softly, speaking for the first time all study session. He’d left her messages, tried to track her down with his stick but she was never transformed by the look of it. Without knowing her civilian identity it was impossible to find her... unless he rang the cat toy. He’d been tempted more than once, but worried of the repercussions of crying Wolf. That button was for if Hawkmoth came back - nothing less. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She’d taken herself out of the game and he wished he’d done more to help her when he’d initially suspected something was wrong. What was he supposed to do in a situation like this? If she had decided she didn’t want to be his friend any more, it wasn’t like he could force her to be, but there was no chance of mending it when he couldn’t get hold of her.<em> I should have done more to stop her leaving that night</em> he thought miserably. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She’s a big girl, I’m sure she can take care of herself.” Muttered the woman in question, a little frustrated by the turn of the conversation. Why did <em>everyone</em> want her to talk? </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She’s human, Mari.” Adrien protested, in defence of his friend.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I mean if they... if they fought Hawkmoth that probably leaves wounds you don’t see right?” Alya said sadly, wondering why they hadn’t been called upon if something big had gone down. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She’s probably going through some stuff.” Adrien mumbled knowing they hadn’t actually fought Hawkmoth.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Clearly something had been going on under the surface and he wished he’d tried harder to get to the bottom of it while he’d had the chance. He wouldn’t make the same mistakes with Marinette, who gave a disparaging hum but went back to her book. He reached under the table and squeezed her hand, assuming that she was projecting a little. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Because September also brought therapy. After only two sessions and realising she couldn’t actually talk about huge chunks of the situation, Marinette had actually decided to quit therapy - not that she’d told Adrien that. It wasn’t that it was too painful to drag up, but that she genuinely <em>couldn’t</em> remember the half of the story that was made up without catching herself in a web of lies and risking revealing she was Ladybug and that gave her even more things to worry about.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Her initial thoughts were right: there were no therapists for what she went through. They could talk about sexual violence and trauma, about trust issues and intimacy issues until the cows came home. It wouldn’t assuage her guilt, the part she’d played in it all. She hadn’t even dared to mention the fact he’d been akumatised. Sitting in a room while a therapist tried to get details she wasn’t comfortable sharing with a stranger, or applied broad advice that didn’t fit the situation was not her ideal way of handling the situation. So she quit. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Also partially convinced Adrien was going to be upset with her for abandoning therapy, she wondered if she should pick something a little bolder off the list to soften the blow of the announcement when she went round for dinner later. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>——————</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Which was how she found herself holding up a hairbrush, having chickened out of the whole fantasising thing during an intense mental debate over dinner. She’d entertained the idea of talking him through a blowjob or something she was genuinely curious about, but it just sounded awkward in her own head. Adrien smiled at the brush and nodded, on board without a word of request.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You or me?” He asked. She shrugged. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m not sure, I think this one’s kind of silly.” She admitted, blushing. “Just thought we ought to try it?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You then.” He said decisively. “I spend a lot of time getting my hair done by other people.” He told her, sitting on the sofa and tossing a cushion on the floor in front of him. Marinette crossed to it and settled herself down on the floor, kneeling between his knees and facing the television. “I think it’s a trust exercise.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Gently, he unfastened the bobble holding her ponytail, carding his fingers through the kink it had left in her hair. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“There’s a vulnerability in the position, and you trust that the person brushing your hair isn’t going to hurt you: or that if they do it’s not intentional.” He explained. Marinette smirked. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“This is your child psychology course talking.” She observed, relaxing into his touch. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes.” He laughed. “But aside from the odd event you’ve been to with me I’m guessing mostly people don’t touch your hair?” He asked, teasing the brush through the day’s knots. She hummed in agreement. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Not since I learned to do my own pigtails.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What happened to the pigtails anyway?” He wondered. “Don’t get me wrong, I like the ponytail... and I love it down.” He added, lightly stroking the bristles from the top of her skull to the middle of her shoulders at the side. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“He didn’t like them.” She mumbled. It wasn’t that he hadn’t liked them... she didn’t think he’d ever so much as commented on them before but Cat Noir had taken them out during sex, had been enamoured by undoing them and for some reason it rubbed her the wrong way in hindsight. He’d been pleased she looked less like Ladybug. Maybe Cat’s girlfriend wore her hair free? Maybe Hawkmoth just enjoyed getting her to look more like a civilian? </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Did you like them?” Adrien wondered. She thought on it for a long moment... it felt like they were Ladybug’s. Even after she’d started wearing a single pony, during her infrequent trips out as Ladybug, her superhero alter ego had kept the twin tails. When she’d first started out, teenage girls all over Paris had adopted the previously considered childish hairstyle in solidarity with the heroine... she supposed with Ladybug retired those girls would either find their own look now, or someone else to look up to. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I could put them back in for you, if you like?” He offered gently when she didn’t answer. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No, thank you.” She whispered. “I like the single one.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Okay.” He agreed, continuing to run the brush through her hair until it sat silky soft about her shoulders. After a very long silence, and as he was winding the bobble about his fingers, readying the gathered hair she mumbled. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t feel like they’re part of me any more. The pigtails. Is it stupid to want to... just leave that broken part of me behind?” She wondered, referring more to Ladybug than the hairstyle. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Not stupid.” Adrien said, looping the hair tie around her locks and letting go. He brushed it out once more for good measure. “But you’re not broken either.” He reassured, helping her up. She only ventured as far as the sofa, leaning against his shoulder. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s fine to cut out the little things, the reminders... but you’re still you, Marinette. That bastard doesn’t get to take that from you.” He swore. Marinette tensed. She didn’t know whether it was hearing Adrien’s vehemence, or an ingrained urge to protect Cat Noir but she <em>didn’t</em> like it, her stomach lurching at the words. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“He’s not a bastard.” She protested. “It was my fault, not his.” She knew she’d growled, and she truly hadn’t meant to. Adrien blinked in surprise at the statement.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Marinette... that’s not true.” He whispered sadly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes it is and I quit therapy.” She blurted, curling up a little... so much for softening that blow. “They can’t help. They don’t understand.” Adrien fell silent, and she didn’t dare look at him, worried she’d see disappointment or anger in his eyes. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Instead he took several deep, steadying breaths, the motion oddly soothing. Marinette found her chest rising and falling in time with his. He wrapped an arm around her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Blaming yourself is a pretty common reaction.” He said eventually. “If... if someone else were in your shoes would you blame them? Would you ask what she was wearing? Or whether she’d been drinking?” Adrien was only speaking truths, but a spark of indignation was catching in Marinette’s chest.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p><em>This wasn’t fair</em>. She’d never intended Adrien to know, and certainly hadn’t intended Cat Noir to take the blame in his head. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s not like that! It <b>was</b> my fault. I’m the...” the fury directed in at herself only seemed to swell. Tikki had warned her about things bubbling over, and the simmering tension below the surface of her skin was in danger of reaching boiling point. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Not wanting to explode all over Adrien, worried she was going to push him away like she had done with Cat Noir by yelling at him, she disentangled herself from their embrace, standing up. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I need to go.” She mumbled, grabbing her purse. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Marinette...” he pleaded. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No. Just... please stop. I’m not... I’m not this innocent little victim you’ve got it into your head that I am, okay? It <em>was</em> my fault and I...” Breathing seemed to get harder, her legs didn’t feel quite connected and within two steps she was on her knees, not quite registering that she’d fallen save for a slight pain in her knees. Adrien kneeled beside her this time, rubbing her back and whispering soothing words. Only vaguely aware of his presence, she focused on catching her breath. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Breathing ought to be an unconscious thing - something she could do without thinking... but it took every ounce of strength she had to remember how to. Like something heavy lay on her chest, robbing the air from her lungs. The room span and her head hit the carpet. Time seemed to slow down, the only noise she could hear was her heart pounding a drumbeat in her ears. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Until heard herself whispering as she came back to herself: </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I didn’t know.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Didn’t know what?” Adrien’s tone was gentle as he abandoned his counting: reassuring. Marinette couldn’t answer. She didn’t know what she didn’t know? What had she been babbling about? She was shaking again, the carpet rubbing against her knees and forehead as she trembled. “You back with me?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I think so?” She murmured. She could hear him... that’s what he meant right? </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Sofa. Do you need a hand or do you want to avoid touching?” He asked. Marinette’s hand found his and accepted the gentle tug, letting him lead her to the couch and all but collapsing into it as she realised she’d had another panic attack. <em>Great, he’s going to think I’m such a mess.</em> “I’m going to grab you a glass of water okay?” He whispered, before leaving for the kitchen. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette curled herself into a ball, tugging her knees up to her chest. In a sudden moment of concern she opened her purse, terrified she’d fallen on Tikki. The little creature looked up at her with wary eyes. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You okay?” Tikki whispered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No. Are you? I didn’t hurt you?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m billions of years old, I’m made of sturdier stuff than being squished by a teenage girl.” Tikki insisted, but fell silent as she heard Adrien’s footsteps returning. Marinette snapped her purse shut once more, half wishing she could just bolt and talk to Tikki instead - okay she had absolutely no concept of sex and didn’t understand the gravity of the matter but at least she knew the score. With a glass of water in his hand, and a worried look on his face, he sat cautiously beside her.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Thank you.” Marinette mumbled, taking the offered drink. She suspected Google had offered up the suggestion of a glass of water as a distraction, but found it oddly helpful for regulating her still laboured breathing as she sipped. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We don’t have to talk about it if talking about it... causes that.” Adrien said tentatively. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s not even that.” Marinette sighed. “You blaming him it... it made me angry and I was trying <em>not</em> to get angry. I wanted to scream and shout and that’s not fair on you!”</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Okay...” he hesitated, chewing his lip. He wasn’t fantastically happy that she’d abandoned therapy: he knew he couldn’t force her to go, but she needed to be able to process it somehow. Maybe it would be easier for her to talk with someone she knew and trusted, rather than a stranger? Worth a shot. “But maybe screaming and shouting is better than keeping it all locked up?” He offered, more than willing to listen. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Taking it out on you is not the answer.” Marinette muttered. He seemed to be considering it for a long moment. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Not on me but... with me? It’s... you know that it’s okay to be angry?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m not angry at him.” She said eventually. “He was just as much a victim in this as I was. I was... I was angry that you blamed him.” She admitted, trying not to panic again at the realisation she was discussing Cat Noir with Adrien. Her super hero and civilian selves seemed terrifyingly close together now. Adrien paused, trying to make sense of it: but without knowing the situation he couldn’t and he didn’t dare ask again. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette hesitated. To tell him or not to tell him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“He was akumatised.” She said eventually. Adrien’s face changed dramatically, suddenly paling. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What?” He whispered, so shocked he caused Marinette to wince. She shouldn’t have told him. But she’d said it now. She couldn’t take it back. If Adrien would just stop blaming Cat Noir...</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“He was akumatised! It genuinely <em>wasn’t</em> his fault!” She insisted, hoping he’d understand.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Unfortunately, he did understand... if Marinette was telling the truth, which he had no reason to disbelieve, then the man responsible was his own father. He didn’t know that she knew that though, so could only swallow the bile rising in his throat and nod. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hawkmoth’s fault then.” He concluded grimly. If Marinette had been attacked by an akuma victim, then Cat Noir had personally played a part. He likely been too slow on the uptake to protect her. He and Ladybug had probably cleaned up the aftermath, not knowing what the akuma victim had done before they’d arrived... his father had orchestrated the whole thing. Adrien felt sick and dizzy, wondering how he could have let her down so badly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette nodded shakily, not knowing that he knew Hawkmoth was his father. Cat Noir had told her he’d omitted the miraculous part of his father’s disappearance. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I should have known. I... how did I <em>not</em> know he was akumatised?” Marinette whispered shakily, finally voicing what she’d kept mostly locked down for nearly four months. It was her job to recognise threats, wasn’t it? That was a huge part of why she’d abandoned the costume, because she couldn’t discern danger any more. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You want to start at the beginning? I’m not judging.” He clarified quickly. “Just... hard to have an opinion without...” she bit her lip. She wanted to talk about it. She wanted him to understand but... the whole story didn’t exactly paint her in the best light, she thought. Would he judge her for giving it up so easily? For not realising he wasn’t himself? For not telling him the truth? Would he be disappointed in her? </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Tikki had zipped through the floorboards to hide behind the television speakers with Plagg who was glaring at her - having connected the dots, given he knew both of their identities. Tikki shushed him with a look and nodded back to the pair on the sofa, telling Plagg without words to listen. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Please don’t hate me.” Marinette begged. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Never.” Adrien swore. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I hate me.” She admitted, wrapping her arms around herself. She wondered for a long moment how to explain it without giving herself away... Adrien wasn’t stupid, he’d pick up on omitted details, but most of the story it didn’t matter that she was Ladybug, right? It had happened to her, whether she was Ladybug or Marinette. It had happened to Cat and whoever he was... she could sort of get through it, and doubted he’d want to go back and double and triple check points, making it feel like an interrogation like the therapist had. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I have this friend. I say have... had. We’re not friends any more.” She confessed sadly. Adrien was keeping a respectable distance, clearly listening but not wanting to breach her personal space. She half wished he’d just hug her. “We’d been friends for years... really close. He uh... he used to like me.” She said honestly, chewing her lip.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We were kids, it was a crush... it was cute. I... to tell the truth I was a little loopy about you back then so nothing ever really happened with me and him.” She whispered, a longing in her voice, not for Cat Noir but for the days she recalled fondly, when that had been the biggest problem in her love life.  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien was silent, nodding when appropriate. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“He got over it. We loved each other but just... as friends you know? Like... I’d have thrown myself in front of a moving car for him and him for me. We were close.” She summed up. “Then I went and fell in love with the goofball.” Laughing a small soft huff of air through her nose at the confession. “I couldn’t not. He was... sweet, funny, charming... of course I fell in love with him. Unfortunately... he’d moved on.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Oddly that didn’t hurt as much any more. She thought about Cat Noir and his girlfriend every so often, hoping they were blissfully happy. That her silence and her tackling the burden by herself at least meant he could be happy with someone else. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Things were awkward for a bit. Kind of tense just... you know... trying to figure out how to behave around each other again and stuff but... we’d have gotten over it. We’ve been through much worse. It seems a little silly now to be honest but anyway, that night we were due to meet up...” she hesitated, couldn’t tell him it was a rooftop...</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“At one of our usual hang outs. When he showed up... I swear he looked normal. You see akuma victims all, you know... blue and spiky and stuff but... they’re not always like that. He looked like himself.” She insisted, a note of desperation in her tone, pleading for him to understand that she’d been deceived. Adrien felt sick, but he could only nod in agreement, thinking of Copy Cat and Chameleon. He knew better than most that they weren’t always visually obvious. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“He... he told me he was kind of angry at me for springing my feelings on him and messing things up with the other girl because... because he wasn’t over me. He said he was still in love with me.” She said miserably. “I was... so blinded by the fact that he loved me and nobody had ever told me that before... not romantically anyway. Ugh. No that’s a lie actually, Luka did. We were kids then though, that’s a whole different... Anyway he told me he loved me and... And it was <em>him</em> and I was stupidly happy and... and he <em>asked</em> if he could kiss me. He asked. And I felt safe.”  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette fell silent for a long moment, fidgeting in her seat as though debating how to phrase what to tell him next. <em>And then we fucked</em> didn’t seem quite right. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“He was gentle. Sweet. Every time we took a step he... he stopped and asked if it was what I really wanted.” She said carefully. “At the time I thought he was just... looking out for me because honestly it was kind of a stupid idea, right? Losing our virginities outdoors for one thing but it was him and we loved each other so I... I just didn’t care.” She sniffed, ashamed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I wanted him. Looking back I think he was trying to... break his programming or something. But I was stupid and selfish and reckless and I’m NOT a reckless person. I plan things. I didn’t plan for that but apparently all it took to get me to abandon all logic and open my legs was for him to tell me he loves me.” She hissed her last statements, clearly angry with herself. Adrien reached across and took her hand, saving her from the digging of her own fingernails into her arm. Appreciatively, she squeezed it, steadying herself before continuing.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We cuddled after... watched the stars after getting dressed. That’s... that’s when the mask appeared.” She closed her eyes tightly, trying her hardest not to remember Cat Noir’s blank expression under the pink light. That was going to haunt her for the rest of her life. “When Hawkmoth talks to akuma victims a sort of... silhouette appears, like a butterfly.” She explained, gesturing to her eyes not sure how much Adrien knew as a civilian. He nodded.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I guess Hawkmoth was reminding him he had a job to do now he’d got what he wanted... except... he argued with Hawkmoth. Said it wasn’t what he’d wanted... it was what <b>I’d</b> wanted.” A sob caught in her throat and Adrien squeezed her hand once more as she took a moment to compose herself. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“He got mean after that.” She sighed. “Taunting me. <em>Of course I don’t love you, I already told you I love someone else</em>... he attacked me. Physically fighting me. Chasing me. I’m not a bad fighter when it comes to it but... he was stronger than I was.” <em>Of course he was</em> Adrien thought sadly. <em>He was akumatised, I’m amazed you were able to fight back at all</em>. He didn’t say it out loud though, letting her talk. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Faster too. Smarter. It’s funny... I always knew he was the smart one.” She murmured. Her head fell back against the sofa, casting her gaze to the ceiling and watching Adrien’s ceiling fan spin lazily. “He chased me... caught me... tied me up... told me that... that the kicker was that it had all been my idea. Hawkmoth had only sent him to kiss me, to distract me, the sex stuff... that was all me and I was going to have to live with the fact I raped him.” She shuddered, her heart aching. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I mean I did, right? He didn’t consent and I did...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No. You didn’t.” It was the first time Adrien had spoken and his tone was icy cold, causing Marinette to flinch. “You didn’t consent Marinette because you didn’t know what was happening. He didn’t either, but you didn’t do anything wrong.” She nodded shakily, aware she was crying but unable to stop. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I know but... it was my feelings that caused it.” She mumbled. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It was HAWKMOTH who caused it!” Adrien yelled, Marinette jumped a good few inches in the air, alarmed at his tone.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Realising he’d startled her he quickly shook his head, kissing her hand and vowing to keep calm. Getting himself agitated wasn’t going to help her. Whatever she said, he had to keep calm, or risk setting her back. He didn’t want to frighten her.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No, I'm... I’m sorry I’m not mad at you.” He said quickly. “I... the shouting and screaming thing helps. I’m angry on your behalf I promise. I’m sorry.” A wary look was sent his way, like she didn’t want to finish her tale but he squeezed her hand and she nodded. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“He uhm...” she continued, clearing her throat. “Threatened to do it again, seemed like he’d enjoy it with me putting up a fight that time. I knew it was Hawkmoth by then though... he was so close...” Instinctively, her free hand went to fiddle with her pigtail only to find it wasn’t there: she settled on playing with her earring. She closed her eyes, remembering the dread she’d felt as he tore through her suit for the second time, without permission. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Then Ladybug and Cat Noir showed up and rescued me. Cat Noir cut the ropes tying me with his claws and Ladybug dealt with the akuma.” She concluded lamely - unable to complete the story without lying so sticking to the truth as much as she could. Cat Noir <b>had</b> cut the ropes enough to free her, Ladybug <b>had</b> dealt with the akuma. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien faltered.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>What?</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He’d had no reason to disbelieve her so far, and her emotional state indicated she’d been telling the truth but... he’d never rescued Marinette. He’d never rescued anyone from that sort of scenario. He’d remember it. He frowned, trying to make sense of her tale. Why had the boy gone after her if he didn’t want her? Hawkmoth’s MO wasn’t generally toying with teenage girl’s emotions so subconsciously the guy must have still loved her? He had actually wanted her? Why tell Hawkmoth he didn’t? </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Why had he attacked her after he’d got what he wanted... that wasn’t the deal. The deal was to get what you want and then go after the miraculous... he hated to disbelieve her. Everything he’d read so far said people not believing the victim was the biggest hurdle they faced... but he’d been dragged into the story where he knew he didn’t belong. She was lying to him and he didn’t understand why. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Nobody but me and Hawkmoth know what really happened.” Marinette said gently. “I... I couldn’t tell him after. I couldn’t bring myself to... he’s got a girlfriend, he’s happy... he didn’t love me and I’m not in love with him any more but... I tried to be his friend after. I swear I tried. Every time I saw him it... it all came up again and I got angry or scared or lashed out. I... I couldn’t tell him I’d basically seduced him against his will. I couldn’t tell him he’d lost his virginity like that. He’d have fallen apart if he knew he’d hurt me. So... so I guess he thinks I’m just... I don’t know... being selfish and jealous. It was easier for him to think that than to... than to ruin his life with the truth.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien’s stomach dropped as he realised he’d heard this story before. He’d lived it. Every missing piece of the puzzle fell into place - her story was 100% true... if she was Ladybug and he’d been the one who was akumatised. Suddenly the missing few hours in May he’d written off slapped him in the face. Adrien covered his mouth, appalled as it hit him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ladybug had been so on edge that night. The moment he’d come round she’d been... different. He’d basically dragged her straight from the scene of her own rape, back to the man who’d orchestrated it. His hands shook. She wouldn’t be telling Adrien if she knew who he was. She wouldn’t even be able to sit next to him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Did I do the right thing?” Marinette asked, her voice soft. She was still rubbing her earring between her finger tips. How had he never noticed those? “Shielding him? I mean it happened to him too so... so he has a right to know but... why does it have to be me? And why hurt him too? Hawkmoth already got to me and I’m dealing with the consequences but... he’s happier not knowing, right? He doesn’t have to go through all this. He can... he can move on.” She whispered, losing herself in her thoughts, in her own justifications for keeping quiet. Cat Noir didn’t deserve that, she couldn’t be the one to deal the blow. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien gawked. Marinette had shouldered this for months, all on her own, to try protect him. He’d accused her of jealousy when she was acting selflessly, shielding him from the truth of what had transpired. He was glad he’d opted to remain quiet throughout her story because she wasn’t taking his stunned silence as a bad sign, presumably thinking he was giving her space to process her thoughts rather than the truth. He was panicking. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I love you.” He said shakily, the words carrying more weight than ever. She nodded. Adrien swallowed. He did. He loved her. “I think... I think it was brave of you to protect him...” He spoke carefully, trying not to be angry - because he was, he was furious, just not at her. He couldn’t direct that rage at her. “But how do you think he’d feel... knowing you had to deal with it all alone?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh, he’d be furious.” She laughed bitterly. “But a hypocrite. He’d do the same for me if the roles were reversed.” She mumbled. Adrien couldn’t deny that. If the roles had been reversed... if she’d been the one akumatised... he didn’t want to think about it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t want him to be scared of people touching him. I don’t want to mess up his sex life with his girlfriend. I don’t want to make him feel like he isn’t in control of his own body. I... I don’t want him to feel like this.” Marinette whispered, shaking her head and sniffing, unaware she’d already let that cat out of the bag.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I <em>know</em> I should have told him. I <em>know</em> I shouldn’t have abandoned him, to just... just stop being his friend but... every time we spoke I felt <em>cold</em>.” She admitted. “I felt <em>sick</em>. Which isn’t fair. I don’t blame him. I know it wasn’t his fault but... I just kept... waiting for him to lunge at me again.” She flinched. Adrien listened, swallowing hard. That’s why she’d been avoiding him. The guilt, the fear. She was afraid of him. Well. Afraid of Cat Noir. Suddenly her assuming he was akumatised the last night they’d seen each other made a lot more sense. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Thank you.” He whispered, taking both her hands, if only to stop her twiddling her earring so desperately, if only to prove that he could still touch her without terrifying her, so long as he was Adrien. <em>For trying to protect me.</em> “For telling me. I believe you. I’m so sorry that happened to you. To both of you.” He swore, his mouth totally dry. He was amazed he was still breathing. He wanted to put his foot through the television screen. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You see why therapy wasn’t helpful?” She asked gently. “Talking to you helped... it did, but... I can’t... I can’t blame my attacker he was... he was just as much a victim as I was. Moreso because he didn’t actually want that. He didn’t want me. Please don’t be mad at him?” She begged. Even now she was trying to defend him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien felt tears welling in his own eyes. That Ladybug... Marinette... had cared so much. If she was Ladybug (which at this point she had to be, he couldn’t find any mental hoops to jump through to say she wasn’t, it was the only logical conclusion) she also knew Hawkmoth was Gabriel Agreste. Adrien’s father. She was protecting Adrien too. Carrying the world on her shoulders and soldiering on. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“If Hawkmoth ever resurfaces then I hope someone cataclysms him into oblivion.” He told her, not sure what else to offer without consulting with the only other two people who could be trusted... Tikki and Plagg, who (if not previously aware) must have overheard the entire conversation.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Him we can be angry at.” She sniffed. “Ugh... I’m an ugly crier.” She murmured, wiping her face in embarrassment but only succeeding in getting her sleeve wet. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re beautiful.” He told her honestly. “And brilliant. And brave. And kind. You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met.” She didn’t look like the compliments hit, despite his sincerity, her gaze sinking to the carpet as she turned in on herself. “I... I know you don’t believe that right now...” he sighed. He’d done that to her. “Please believe this: It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t his either.” He kissed her hand once more, then, realising the motion was very Cat Noir he changed tact and kissed her cheek instead. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Stay the night?” He asked her gently. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hm?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Usual rules, hands off I just... I’m here, you don’t have to do this on your own.” He explained. Marinette nodded tearfully. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes, please.” She whispered.  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Why don’t you go take a bath? A long hot soak, then we’ll watch a movie?” He said gently, trying to quell the urge to track his father down and murder him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He needed her to leave so he could panic and rant and rave without worrying her, but he didn’t actually want her to leave. He never wanted to take his eyes off of her again, she’d walked out of his life once and he was convinced she’d do the same again when she knew the truth. Plus... she’d probably enjoy a bath, some time alone to relax and unwind. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re okay with me taking a bath here?” Marinette wondered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You practically live here.” He pointed out. She had been spending a lot of time at his lately. “Of course it’s okay. There’s clean towels in there and I can grab you some clothes to sleep in?” He offered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What did I do to deserve you?” Marinette wondered, awestruck. That he was so accepting of everything... that he’d listened... that he knew everything that had happened and didn’t blame her... all of it eased her mind. She felt lighter. Talking about it clearly helped. <em>This is why it was on the list of intimacy things</em>, she realised, the burden no longer being entirely her own a relief, but sharing it with Adrien... trusting him with it. She felt closer to him than ever. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I was thinking the same thing.” He promised, cupping her cheek and kissing her on the lips lightly.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I love you.” He swore, thumb brushing her cheekbone. “Whatever happened. Whatever happens, know that I love you.” Marinette’s expression warmed, the familiar spark returning to her eyes. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I love you too. I’m going to go get that bath because...” she gestured at her face, aware of the effect baring her soul had had on her features. He smiled. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Still beautiful.” He reassured. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>When clothes had been fetched, and the taps were thundering away she hovered at the bathroom door. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Not tonight because... it’s been a night.” She said exhaustedly. “But at some point I... I think I’d like to try the bath together. You know from the list?” She said carefully, reminding Adrien just how much the burden she’d shouldered had affected her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Swimsuits maybe?” He suggested. Her face lit up, the idea clearly didn’t scare her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“That sounds great. We... wouldn’t have to... it could just be...” she clarified. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Being close.” He agreed with a false smile. “Enjoy your bath.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>When the lock clicked closed behind her, Adrien wiped his face clean of the brave expression he’d worn for her and ventured into the living room, every footstep sounding thunderous, but the roar of water from the bathtub filling drowned it out. Plagg flew out from his hiding place in the tv speaker immediately, with a concerned look on his face: but Adrien went straight to the sofa, staring intently at Marinette’s purse. Her summer clothing didn’t have much in the way of pockets - so he assumed her kwami was hiding in the little pink purse she’d carried since... since they first became heroes, he realised. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Tikki?” He asked, voice cold. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Wrong kwami, kid.” Plagg said carefully. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I wasn’t talking to you. Tikki, I know okay, I figured it out. You can come out.” He whispered.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hi.” Said a shy voice from behind him. All red and black with wide blue eyes, the Ladybug kwami emerged from the speaker too, apparently having been hiding away with Plagg. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Seeing her only confirmed what he already knew, but still struck him like a punch to the gut. There was his proof. Beyond the shadow of a doubt. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I raped Ladybug.” He whispered, horrified. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No.” Tikki’s voice was firm. “You said yourself it wasn’t your fault.” Tikki insisted, zipping over to him and settling just in front of him while Plagg burrowed into his shoulder in comfort.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I swear I didn’t know.” Plagg said honestly. “I thought you killed your father.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I wish I had.” Adrien admitted, appalled. He’d known Ladybug hadn’t dissolved their friendship and vanished into the ether for no reason. How had he not known something was so horribly wrong? That he’d blamed her... his legs gave out and he collapsed to a heap on the sofa, staring in abject horror at Tikki. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Why didn’t you tell me?” Plagg demanded of Tikki, rushing to Adrien’s shoulder.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Because it’s her story to tell, hasn’t her privacy been invaded enough?” Tikki asked sadly. “And you couldn’t have told Adrien without giving her away.” She sighed. Adrien cringed at the thought. If Marinette knew her kwami had been talking with her attacker about the whole thing... yeah. He could see how that could be invasive. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Why did she quit therapy?” Adrien asked. “She needs to be able to talk to...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“The therapist asked questions. Marinette came up with a story but... she can’t process what actually happened while talking about a fake version. She kept getting her wires crossed, and the therapist didn’t seem to mind but Marinette was convinced she thought she was lying every time she got flustered. She told you almost everything.” Tikki said gently. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What didn’t she tell me?” He wondered - where had her story diverged from Ladybug’s truth to Marinette’s protective lies? Had it been worse than Marinette had let him know. Oh god. “Did I actually <em>hurt</em> her?” He asked, staring down at his hands. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You hurt her at one point,” Tikki confirmed. “Not badly, but during the sex bit you caught her with your claw, and she convinced you to keep going. She feels guilty for encouraging you.” Tikki filled in the blanks. Adrien winced, not wanting to picture his claws anywhere near her bare skin. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You weren’t wearing your bell the whole time, she feels guilty for missing the significance of that too. You asked for her name: she didn’t give you it, but she wanted to. You were fairly evenly matched when you fought. When she was tied up... You undressed her a little bit, gave her a hint and then overpowered Hawkmoth to loosen the rope. For about a second. Long enough for her to free her yo yo and fight back. She strangled you to use your claws to cut her ropes... she nearly killed you but it was... she panicked, she had to act without thinking.” Tikki explained sadly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah, I don’t blame her for that either... she healed me with the cure?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“The moment she got free.” Tikki swore. “Then we had to go fight Hawkmoth and... and he’d taken off. She was in pieces...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She held herself together long enough to get the job done.” He realised, appalled and amazed.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Adrien, she’s not okay...” Plagg’s sober tone seemed to solidify the severity of the situation. It was unlike him to take anything so seriously. He was the first to admit he didn’t understand sex - it was a human thing and he couldn’t pretend to relate. He did understand how shaken and scared she’d been, how hurt Marinette was, and he could only assume Adrien was going through the same thing. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I know.” Adrien whispered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“But are you?” Tikki worried. “She was trying to protect you but...”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m... not great.” He admitted carefully, taking a deep breath. It was an understatement. Every bit of strength he has was focused on not falling apart. He’d hurt her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Did my father know it was me? Does he know it’s her?” He wondered, unsure if his father knowing his identity made the situation better or worse. He’d still sexually assaulted two teenagers, regardless of whether he’d known Adrien was the boy he was using to seduce Ladybug out of her earrings. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t know.” Tikki sighed heavily. Plagg didn’t either. “He probably knows who you are because you were akumatised... but I don’t think he knew who she was at the time. He might have figured it out from you two being together.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Why did you let her date him?!” Plagg growled.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I could hardly tell her not to! And she likes him! He makes her happy...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“But it’s not safe!” Plagg scolded, unused to being the sensible one. Tikki looked like she was going to cry. Marinette had so desperately needed someone, and had gravitated toward Adrien, Tikki couldn’t have taken away that support. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m pretty sure Hawkmoth isn’t coming back, because of this. <em>Because</em> it was Adrien. It was a risk, yes but she’s found love and support here I can’t tell her to break up with him without good cause!” Tikki snapped. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m not breaking up with her after... no. No, absolutely not! She’ll never trust anybody again if she admits what happened and they immediately abandon her!” Adrien panicked. Safety or not... he couldn’t do that to her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“If he knows he knows. It’s done now.” Tikki said, shaking her head miserably. He’d probably blown her cover: inadvertently, true, but he’d dragged her down with him. Hawkmoth probably knew who she was. Adrien suspected he was going to throw up. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I could have killed her.” Adrien breathed, peering down at his own hand. One cataclysm and he could have lost her... her cure could bring him back but there was no bringing her back if she was taken out in battle.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah. You could have.” Plagg agreed miserably. “But you didn’t.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You were gentle. You were nice to her. I... I don’t know how much of that whole thing was you and your feelings and how much was Hawkmoth, but you backed down when you hurt her accidentally, which... makes me think you were a little more in control than she thinks you were.” Tikki explained. Adrien didn’t know which was worse, that he’d willingly abused her to steal her miraculous because Hawkmoth put the idea in his head, or that he’d just been along for the ride while his father pretended to be him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Wait why did <em>she</em> retire? If she couldn’t bear to be around me any more... I get it! But why not just confiscate my miraculous? It’s not like I’m needed any more, and I’m the one who had my cover blown - she had the perfect excuse. Why not just...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Because you love being Cat Noir.” Tikki cut in  kindly. “Because it meant more to you than to her. Because she didn’t want to take anything more away from you... and truthfully she’s a little wary of being Ladybug right now... her heart rate spikes every time she puts on the suit.” Sighed Tikki. “She doesn’t want to be Ladybug any more.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien, pale and shaken, nodded. He understood now, why Ladybug had fallen apart. He’d already understood Marinette’s hesitance but now... knowing he’d been the cause of it. He was definitely going to throw up. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Are you going to tell her?” Plagg wondered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I can’t.” Adrien groaned </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“If I tell her she’ll... she’ll pull away. She trusts Adrien right now... if I tell her who I am and that I know, I don’t... I don’t want her to be scared of me!” He hissed, panicking. “Oh, but if I don’t tell her I’m basically handcuffing her to Cat Noir. Fuck!” He groaned, pulling his hair. What was he supposed to do here? “I... I can’t tell her it was me who did that to her. She’d never look me in the eye again...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Agreed.” Tikki said heavily. She hated the idea of lying to Marinette but she’d come so far... “I think for now we assume he’s not coming back but if he does you’re both in danger, and act accordingly but keep her in the dark. She’s come so far and that’s largely down to her own tenacity but... a lot of it’s you. You’ve helped her so much.” She praised, kissing Adrien’s cheek. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He nodded, set in his resolve. She’d lied to protect him. He could do the same for her, couldn’t he?<em> He’d do the same for me if the roles were reversed </em>was what Marinette had said. She was right. He’d lie to protect her if he had to. Even if it hurt.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m proud of you, Adrien.” Tikki said gently. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hey, you’re muscling in on my territory here, sugarcube.” Plagg scolded. “And I’m proud of you too but you have to actually deal with this...”</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’ll... I’ll break down later.” He decided, pushing his own issues aside. He knew it wasn’t a healthy way to cope but for now he deemed it essential. “Tonight, I’m looking after Marinette. Tomorrow I’ll deal with my emotional crap, I promise. Thank you for helping her when I was out of the loop.” He said appreciatively to Tikki. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Life was so much easier when I thought you two  were covering up a murder.” Plagg announced dramatically , mortified for all of their sakes. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah well... if he ever shows his face again in Paris I’ll make it look like an accident.” Adrien growled, furious with the man on Marinette’s behalf and his own. He had it easier, he concluded, he didn’t remember it and he’d learned months after the fact... Marinette had had to live with it. Deciding his own pain at hurting her paled in comparison to hers at being hurt, he set up two hot chocolates and a movie, choosing to adopt her strategy of carrying on anyway for now. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He of all people knew how to fake a smile. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>When she emerged from the bathroom, in one of his old green t shirts and a pair of sweatpants, she seemed a little brighter than she had done when she went in. He nodded into the kitchen, letting her follow him as he started the electric kettle to finish the hot chocolate. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Comedy film, cuddle in bed, then study session in the library tomorrow?” He suggested, trying to stop his brain from yelling at him. <em>You attacked her. You’re the reason she’s so nervous. You’re the reason she’s scared</em>. He swallowed hard. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Mmm, yes on the first two but I’ve got a whole load of sewing to do tomorrow.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Another commission?” He wondered, pleased that if nothing else good came from this - if she found out who he was and dumped him immediately, she was at least using her Ladybug downtime for making her name. She deserved a place in the spotlight, her designs were amazing and that people were finally starting to notice her made Adrien proud. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes, a woman in Nice wants a weirdly specific shawl and bag combination so...” she looked apologetic. “I have my books with me if you want to study tonight instead?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I never <em>want</em> to study. I want to hang out with Alya and Nino and pretend to look up business models.” He joked half heartedly, surprised to see her talking so calmly.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>A good cry and she was back on her feet, as always. He knew that didn’t meant everything was okay, but he was considering it progress all the same.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“But tonight I’d much rather curl up with you.” Handing her the now signature pink and white mug he was content when she gave him a soft kiss in gratitude. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I love you.” She said, no trace of hesitation in her voice. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I love you too.” He swore, meaning it now more than ever. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>How, he wondered, he’d never realised he’d fallen for the same girl twice was beyond him. Fierce, passionate, intelligent, sweet and kind, Ladybug and Marinette seemed to meld into one in his brain. He’d never really gotten over her, just gotten closer to Marinette - the fuller picture, the parts of Ladybug’s personality he’d so adored, completed by the removal of her shield. The stuff he and Ladybug couldn’t share - their names, their families, their everyday lives.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“So... how was your day?” He asked, suddenly thrilled in spite of it all. He got to ask her about her day and receive more than a one word answer, a luxury they’d been unable to share as Ladybug and Cat Noir. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You were with me nearly all day!” Marinette laughed - seeming to think he’d plucked it from their intimacy list. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Tell me anyway?” He asked. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Fine. But on the sofa, c’mon.” She slid her hand into his and Adrien’s heart soared as something else clicked. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>One way or another, they’d been in love with each other since they were thirteen. He’d loved Ladybug while she’d been enamoured with Adrien, then Adrien had fallen for Marinette when Ladybug loved Cat Noir... they had six years of history. They’d survive it. Whatever came next they’d get through it together. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>—————</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>When Adrien and Marinette were cuddled up in bed for the night, Plagg approached Tikki with a heavy sigh. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You okay, sugarcube?” He asked. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Not really.” Admitted the ladybug kwami, sighing softly. “She needs Adrien right now. I’ve been trying but I... I can’t help her through this one.” She confessed. Plagg checked they were still covered before disappearing to a cupboard and returning with a cookie for her - they rarely kept sweets in the house, but Adrien had been stocking them the more Marinette visited. Smiling gently, Tikki accepted the gift. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t know if she’s ever going to want to be Ladybug again... and... I don’t know how to help her through it.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t understand it either.” Plagg sighed. “I’ve had hundreds of holders... I thought sex was a good thing?” He confessed, knowing he couldn’t say that to Adrien as he and Marinette were clearly distressed about it. “How did he weaponise that?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>As asexual gods, they had no interest in it: but had tagged along for the ride on multiple occasions with their holders. In Plagg’s mind it was no different than them going bowling or to a party in costume: it was something fun their humans did to pass the time that he didn’t really get.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It can be a good thing...” Tikki hummed. “It’s like... cake!” She decided. “If you choose to eat cake alone or eat cake with someone... then cake is great. If... if someone forced or tricked you into eating cake when you didn’t like it or didn’t want it, then... you might not want to eat cake for a while after that.” She surmised. Plagg paused and nodded slowly, sort of following it.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She wanted to eat cake with Cat Noir but... not with Hawkmoth.” He concluded.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Exactly. It’s a very private thing for most humans. Marinette didn’t mind that I was there, or that you were... we don’t mind that stuff, we weren’t part of it, really, its probably on par with us talking to them when they’re in the shower.” Ah. That. Plagg followed that train of thought easily enough. He was allowed to talk to Adrien in the shower, but nobody else was.  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I think the issue is more that they didn’t give Hawkmoth permission and now she’s scared of him, and that Cat Noir couldn’t give his permission because he wasn’t himself.” She explained. “I sort of get the concept and we can help them deal with the emotional stuff but... the actual thing... it’s not on a level we can understand.” She whispered sadly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Which is why they need each other, right now, more than you or me...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“That and... they love each other.” Tikki said.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“That bit I understand.” Plagg said gently, curling up with Tikki for the night, very grateful that he didn’t possess genitals. They seemed confusing. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>—————— </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette’s breakdowns had consisted largely of eating too many sweets and sobbing to Tikki who tried her hardest to follow her emotional rollercoaster. Adrien, when safely alone for the day (with Marinette having gone back to her parents’ to continue her mountain of sewing) did what felt right for him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He swore and kicked and punched the furniture as he relived the story she’d told him the day before. Every word he recalled seemed to stab him further knowing it had been him. Lowlights such as: “<em>Then I went and fell in love with the goofball</em>.”, “<em>He got mean after that.</em>” And “<em>Every time we spoke I felt cold, I felt sick.” </em>Rattled around in his head with every swing of his fist. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Plagg encouraged it, unable to pin down the cause for his holder’s fury but understanding anger in itself well enough to encourage destruction as a coping mechanism. He floated aside, cheering him on and persuading him to picture his father’s face on the sofa cushions when he punched.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He only stopped seething after an impressive bruise formed on Adrien’s shin from kicking the wooden coffee table over. Several more deep breaths later and the blond let the tears come as emotion overwhelmed him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Guilt that he’d got akumatised in the first place, that he’d hurt her, that he’d rejected Ladybug, that he’d blamed her for their friendship falling apart. That he hadn’t tried harder to get to the crux of it. Cracked glass be damned, it was already broken. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Anger that his father had not only seen them in such a vulnerable position, but orchestrated it, that he’d tortured them and risked their lives for years.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Devastation that he’d been ignorant of the pain he’d caused, that Ladybug was well and truly out of the game for now, that Marinette was still tormented by what had gone down. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Guilt again for lying to her about who she was in a relationship with. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>And finally grief. A weird one. He wanted to turn the clock back. He’d had a whole plan for his first time: where Ladybug had once occupied the fantasy filled with candles and romantic music, Marinette had replaced her so seamlessly. That made a lot of sense in hindsight. Still... a rooftop in the middle of Paris with an audience? His father no less. A violent aftermath? He’d wanted better for her. He’d wanted better for himself. Wondering if that thought was selfish he looked at Plagg a little hopelessly.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re not allowed to transform again until you stop wanting to murder the pillows.” Plagg warned him. “Get all that anger out now.” Adrien paused and nodded. That sounded exactly like the sort of reckless destruction he needed, and he swung a punch at the armchair.</p>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for reading so far! Thank you for reviewing! Tags will continue to be updated accordingly.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which Adrien is both angry and happy, and Marinette is both terrified and unafraid.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter warnings contain spoilers, but I don’t want to trigger anyone so scroll past if you don’t need the warnings or don’t want to be spoiled. </p><p>Chapter warnings: contain brief mentions of eating disorders, body image issues, and abortions.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div>
  <p>Adrien lived a double life as a super hero, but had never felt like he was two separate people more than he did following Marinette’s confession. Around her he maintained a smile that he quickly determined wasn’t even fake: her soft smile was infectious and put him at ease. When she was nearby he stayed calm: the anger kept at bay with every giggle and shy touch. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>When she wasn’t there it hit him. Repeatedly. He threw up more than once, literally sick at the notion of having hurt her. Of his father having used him to seduce Ladybug. Gabriel <em>had</em> to know who he was, Adrien had concluded. Tikki was probably right about that being the reason he’d withdrawn: accepting that he’d finally gone too far. He had to have some sort of a soul left, didn’t he? Or did he just not care? Was he biding his time? Maybe Nathalie killed him and ran off with the Butterfly? Chance would be a fine thing. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Punching the furniture had apparently caused a lot of noise and wound up getting him a slightly stern lecture from Mr Rawlins next door, so he tamped down the urge to break his possessions, and even resisted the urge to cataclysm things when Plagg finally let him back out to patrol again. Running along rooftops helped burn off some of the excess rage, capturing run of the mill crooks and vandals eased it a little. Cataclysming things would summon Ladybug though - she’d have to come out and fix it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He didn’t want to have to drag Marinette back out into the field because he wasn’t coping. He just wished he had a better outlet for his fury. Something had to give. </p>
</div><div>
<p></p><div>
<p></p><div><p>He got an opportunity to vent just two weeks later, after a rather spectacular fashion show left Marinette in tears. The date had seemingly gone well, he’d strutted the catwalk in one of her designs as a personal middle finger to his father, wherever the hell he was, and she’d even chatted up a few big deal designers but the press release after was... not kind. </p></div><div><p>“It’s just an unflattering angle.” Alya sympathised, as Marinette wiped her eyes, embarrassed at the article. Adrien frowned, reaching for the paper the ladies had been reading together on his now slightly war torn sofa. Nobody had asked why it was scuffed and dented: he half hoped they hadn’t noticed. The moment the magazine was in his hand Alya made a shooing motion, instructing him to take it away.</p></div><div><p>Adrien stepped aside and skimmed the article. The picture was dazzling, and Adrien didn’t understand what on Earth Alya had meant by unflattering. Marinette looked like a Princess in her pale pink gown, embroidered with black hearts and flowers trailing up the skirt. She’d outdone herself with the design. Her soft silvery eye make up made her look ethereally stunning and wide eyed. Adrien didn’t look too bad in his suit either, in his own opinion, but there was no competition between him and the captivating woman on his arm. The content of the article had clearly been the problem though. </p></div><div><p>
        <em>Oh baby! </em>
      </p></div><div><p>
        <em>Could a teen pregnancy scandal be rocking the boat with Adrien Agreste and his new belle? The up and coming nineteen year old designer was spotted sporting a fuller figure and what appears to be the beginnings of a baby bump! Time will tell. </em>
      </p></div><div><p>Adrien scowled and looked back at the photo. She looked fine! Sure the neckline accentuated her cleavage and amplified her bosom, he’d been hard pressed not to notice that all night, but that was clever design work, and the beginnings of a baby bump? Absolutely not! The design clung at her chest and tapered outward at the waist, any idiot could see that! </p></div><div><p>“I’m calling them and filing a complaint.” He growled, after a look at Marinette’s devastated face. She really didn’t need the press being malicious on top of everything else. This had been a huge concern of going public with their relationship. He knew how vicious and spiteful the media could be. </p></div><div><p>“Do it! I will too. It’s lazy journalism.” Alya vehemently agreed. “Stories like these give us all a bad name.” Marinette rolled her eyes. </p></div><div><p>“Please don’t go burning bridges on my account. If anything it’s a wake up call...” pausing she mused on it. She’d taken her pill religiously... the chances of her actually being pregnant were slim but definitely not non-existent. Hell.</p></div><div><p>Trying to resist the urge to panic in front of everyone she settled on.</p></div><div><p>“I’ve not been exercising as much lately.” She murmured, embarrassed. That was definitely true and she was aware she had gained a little weight... but she’d been over eating due to stress and genuinely hadn’t been as active as she once had been and surely that would account for it? How many calories did superheroism burn? Probably a lot. </p></div><div><p>She didn’t get a period any more - wouldn’t notice if it was absent. No real morning sickness to speak of... unless she included anxiety induced nausea and that time Adrien’s Camembert dish had made her throw up? But she’d only actually thrown up the once and the curdled cheese and mushroom concoction had been <em>truly</em> disgusting.</p></div><div><p>She swallowed and shot Alya a worried look and watched her friends eyes widen. </p></div><div><p>“No?” She mouthed. Marinette grimaced. </p></div><div><p>“Maybe.” She mouthed back, petrified. </p></div><div><p>“The bridge can burn,” insisted Adrien, oblivious to the silent conversation between the girls. “Marinette, I’ve watched countless models fall victim to this... these crippling self esteem issues and obsession with their weight brought on by articles like this one.” He complained, waving the paper about in frustration.</p></div><div><p>“Yeah, you’ve gained like five pounds max, and I swear most of that’s on your boobs. You’re not out of shape and you definitely don’t look pregnant.” Alya said decisively, eyeing Marinette with her usual straight forward scrutiny before nodding confirmation, silently agreeing not to add the worry to Adrien’s furore. “Besides, I’ve got twenty pounds on you easy.” She sympathised. Marinette groaned and rolled her eyes, not looking for compliments by way of insulting her friend. </p></div><div><p>“My self esteem is a little knocked but I’m fine. I don’t think I’m any less attractive or anything... I just might join a gym. And you...” she rounded on Alya. “I would kill to have your backside so hush.” She laughed, the sound ringing oddly hollow in her own ears. She didn’t feel like laughing, she wanted to scream in terror... maybe throw herself of the Eiffel Tower for good measure. “C’mon... we’re going to go shopping and ignore the press.” She said firmly, standing up and pulling Alya to her feet. </p></div><div><p>Because if she could trust anyone with this worry it was Alya, and with her newfound fame she could hardly be seen purchasing pregnancy tests. </p></div><div><p>——-</p></div><div><p>Quite frankly she was amazed she managed to subdue her panic, remaining oddly detached until the moment the test was developing but those three minutes seemed to last a lifetime. </p></div><div><p>“Calm down.” Alya insisted, watching her pace her bedroom like a caged lion. “You’re worrying over nothing, you said it was only that one time without a condom and you’ve been taking your pill properly so you’re almost certainly not.” She reassured.</p></div><div><p>“But what if I am?” Marinette stressed, flitting around the loft rapidly. </p></div><div><p>“Then... it’s not the end of the world.” Alya promised her. </p></div><div><p>Except it would be. It would be catastrophic. If she was pregnant she was at least four months gone - too late to do anything about it. She couldn’t go through with it but she wouldn’t actually have a choice. Her hands would be tied. She’d have to break up with Adrien, she couldn’t ask him to be involved with all that.</p></div><div><p>“Look, you were sensible. You took precautions. The odds of you being pregnant are tiny, you’d have to be spectacularly unlucky and if you are... You’re not the first nineteen year old to get knocked up and Adrien’s a good guy. He’ll stand by you.” <em>Yeah but it’s not Adrien’s baby and I’m absolutely not leeching off of him. </em></p></div><div><p>“I can’t have a baby!” Marinette hissed, clenching her fists.<em> I can’t have Cat’s baby.</em> </p></div><div><p>“Then don’t have a baby.” Alya said gently. “Marinette... there are options.” </p></div><div><p><em>Except there aren’t because I’ll be too far along</em>. Marinette hated herself for not checking earlier. She’d taken her pill and it hadn’t even occurred to her that it might fail, that she’d need the morning after pill. Besides the magical ladybugs should have... fixed it right? Wasn’t it their job to clean up akuma related messes? She vaguely recalled feeling wet and disgusting afterward but wasn’t entirely sure how much of that had been from herself. She could vaguely hear Alya going on about abortions, and about adoption.</p></div><div><p>Adoption! Marinette seized the thought: An answer! Give it to someone else. There were thousands of people in Paris who wanted a baby, right? Oh, except the press already knew... she’d have to try hiding a baby bump. She’d still have to break up with Adrien or he’d be implicated as the father and dragged down with her. She’d still actually have to carry the thing. To give birth. To give away Cat Noir’s son or daughter. Her son or daughter. Oh god. Nevermind a panic attack, Marinette was sure she going to have a heart attack. This could <em>not</em> be happening. Her breath was starting to catch when the timer went off. </p></div><div><p>“Panic over. You’re not pregnant.” Alya laughed, relieved. Marinette rushed to the desk to peer at the stick, where only one pink line sat bold and bright now the test had finished developing. Still, Marinette didn’t dare to believe she’d got so worked up over nothing. She triple checked the instructions to be certain. “99% accurate. No baby.” Alya promised her, quoting the statistic on the box.</p></div><div><p>“I’m gonna take the other one. Just to be sure.” Marinette breathed, grateful they came in a two pack. </p></div><div><p>The next one, four minutes later, said the exact same thing. One line. Not pregnant. Marinette actually sobbed in relief. At least there was that.</p></div><div><p>She firmly believed in a solution for everything but an unplanned teenage pregnancy due to an akuma attack was not something she’d have been able to wriggle her way out of. Not the end of the world. Alya hugged her, a little confused by the excessively relieved reaction but saying nothing more about it other than: </p></div><div><p>“Don’t forget the condom next time.” </p></div><div><p>—————————</p></div><div><p>Clad in swimwear and their bathrobes, they stood beside each other in the steam filled bathroom. Adrien could feel the nervous energy emanating from his girlfriend. </p></div><div><p>“You know we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” He said gently. Marinette however, steeled herself. </p></div><div><p>“I keep telling you I <em>want</em> to.” She insisted with a heavy sigh. She wrapped her arms around his neck and drew him down for a kiss, tinged with a little something more than he was used to. </p></div><div><p>Losing himself in that for a long moment, his hands settled at her waist through the fluffy fabric of the pink bath robe she’d brought from home. She’d planned for this, just as she had done in London, and he tried to let that comfort him. </p></div><div><p>Knowing she was Ladybug gave him a little more insight to her forethought: he knew Marinette was a planner, but he’d seen Ladybug in full scale woman-of-action plotting. If she’d planned for it she was certain of her feelings on the matter... but with everything as tense as it was, he knew that could change in a matter of seconds. Her tongue wound around his for a moment and then she withdrew. </p></div><div><p>“I promise I want to. And if it gets too much and I can’t talk, I promise to tap you.” She reminded him, tapping his bicep lightly through the grey silk he was ensconced in, as a reassurance that she wouldn’t wind up punching him again. </p></div><div><p>“Would you feel more comfortable if I went first?” He asked. “I’m used to being half naked in front of people.” Adrien added, a side effect of having a job where he needed to either be shirtless or to change clothes in a hurry ignoring an audience rather more often than most people. While Marinette’s tale had disturbed him on many levels, he was decidedly more furious that his father had seen Marinette in such a compromising position than that he’d seen him in such a way - he was definitely not comfortable with that either, mind you, but it didn’t quite fill him with the same fury and disgust. He wondered whether that was conditioning, repression or the overwhelming urge to protect her. He wasn’t sure. </p></div><div><p>The tiny indent of her teeth blanching her bottom lip caught his eye. Nerves? </p></div><div><p>“Okay,” she agreed. A swish and a flick of his belt and the robe fell open, he slipped it off and hung it on the door, standing before her in a mid length pair of light blue swim shorts. </p></div><div><p>While comfortable with partial nudity, he wasn’t used to people looking at him like <em>that</em>. Marinette’s cheeks had flushed and her eyes widened a little, drinking in the sight of him nearly naked. A chiselled torso with a faint trail of blond hair dipping into his shorts, narrow hips and broad thighs.</p></div><div><p>“I... don’t look like that with my clothes off.” She warned him, the article’s dig at her weight sitting fresh in her mind. While the pair of negative pregnancy tests had confirmed that she’d just gained a little weight, she felt self conscious all the same. What did people who weren’t superheroes do to exercise? Running maybe? </p></div><div><p>“I’d have to rethink my sexuality if you did.” He laughed. She pouted and clung to her robe anxiously. “You okay?” </p></div><div><p>“Mmm...” she waved her hand back and forth like a see saw. “I’m...” He could see she was trying to figure out how to phrase it. “Is it weird that I’m totally comfortable with you being naked but... terrified of taking this off?” She asked, plucking her robe, a bit confused. </p></div><div><p>He hummed, thinking on it. Considering that the last time she’d been undressed around a man she’d been violated, and she had no clue he was the same man... god, she’d have a heart attack. </p></div><div><p>“Probably not,” he told her gently. “Want to get dressed and order food?” He offered.</p></div><div><p>“No...” She said slowly, scrunching her nose as she thought. </p></div><div><p>“Want to get in the bath?” He wondered. </p></div><div><p>“No...” she admitted, pouting as she tried to process her thoughts. He tried not to laugh. </p></div><div><p>“Want to just stand around here and admire the view?” He joked. </p></div><div><p>“Yes.” She smiled wryly. “Well... sit, maybe.” Marinette moved toward the tub. Adrien’s bath tub was a thing of beauty all in itself, a lovely broad and deep thing designed for relaxing. It was frankly criminal he didn’t own any bubble bath. She kneeled beside the tub and gestured for him to get in. </p></div><div><p>“Oh you... want me to take a bath?” He asked, a bit confused. He’d been teasing her about enjoying the view, he hadn’t actually expected it. Marinette gave a small, shy nod. </p></div><div><p>“Can we work up to me taking the robe off at a later date maybe?” She asked hopefully. “Just... stay and talk for now?” Adrien saw her biting her lip again, suddenly worried her plan was strange.</p></div><div><p>It was... a little odd, but he understood her reasoning. Being comfortable around each other was half the battle, right? He climbed into the tub, turning so his head was at the end she kneeled by, and rested his chin on his elbow. </p></div><div><p>“Hi.” He said, face close enough to kiss. </p></div><div><p>“Hi...” The smile on her face could move heaven and earth. This was why he couldn’t bring himself to fret over the incident when she was close by. He was dazzled by her - all of her. Darting forward she kissed his nose. “Do you have any idea how gorgeous you are?” She asked, hypnotised by his bare shoulders. He smiled softly. </p></div><div><p>“We make quite a pair then.” He said appreciatively. She bit her lip again, and Adrien wasn’t so sure it was nerves this time. She was holding her tongue, maybe? To argue that she wasn’t? To suggest something? </p></div><div><p>She reached across the tub and pulled a plastic cup from the side, holding it up. </p></div><div><p>“Let me wash your hair?” </p></div><div><p>“What, you’re giving up fashion design to be a hairdresser now?” Adrien teased. </p></div><div><p>“No. I just want an excuse to touch you.” She grinned, causing him to blush. He nodded his agreement but then remembered he’d read an article during his hours of research about the importance of verbal consent. He’d been doing a lot of reading to combat his own feelings on the matter and to help understand hers. <em>Don’t make her doubt herself. </em></p></div><div><p>“Touch away.” </p></div><div><p>The angle made things a little difficult, but she moved carefully, delicate fingers tipping his chin up so she could pour water over his hair without getting it in his eyes. Fascinated by watching the dry golden blond change to honey brown as the water trickled down him, and entranced by the calm, relaxed look on his face, she kissed the bolt of his jaw. </p></div><div><p>Daring to look a little lower - with his head tipped back his entire body was on display. He apparently shared none of her newfound insecurities, content to let her look. </p></div><div><p>“I love you.” She reminded him. He grinned, slightly lopsided at the awkward angle. </p></div><div><p>“I love you too,” he said, eyes on her for a moment before he politely returned his gaze to the ceiling “but in the interest of honesty your robe’s a little open.” He swallowed. </p></div><div><p>Marinette hesitated, assessing herself for a moment - there had only been a little movement of the fabric with her motion, tugging the sides of the robe a few notches wider. It was really no more cleavage than he’d seen before - hell, probably less than the ill fated fashion show dress had shown the world. She shrugged and continued pouring water carefully before reaching for the shampoo. </p></div><div><p>“You can look down my robe all you like when I’m done with the soap, for now, eyes closed - this stuff stings,” she warned, shaking the bottle. Adrien’s shampoo smelled like coconut, and was undoubtedly some expensive, fancy nonsense, but she’d learned from her singular previous experience in his bath tub that it covered very well, she’d used a little too much and wound up getting the bubbles in her eyes which hadn’t helped her crying situation much. Applying the smallest button of it to her palm, figuring that Adrien had shorter hair than herself and she could add more later if necessary, she began massaging it into his scalp.</p></div><div><p>He hummed, soft and low. </p></div><div><p>“That’s nice...” he said appreciatively. </p></div><div><p>“Massage is on the list. Maybe one to try?” She murmured, still captivated by his features. While he’d been calm when she’d been wetting his hair, he seemed to keen under her touch now, the look on his face something akin to arousal... not quite in the same vein, but definitely pleasure. Like a cat nuzzling into its ears being stroked. She bit her lip once more, certain her bottom lip would be permanently reddened by her constant chewing on it. </p></div><div><p>“Me or you?” He wondered. </p></div><div><p>“Both maybe?” She suggested. “Definitely you but I’m... not sure about me yet.” He chanced a glance at her to see her scrunching her nose the way she did when thinking. Adrien kicked himself for not picking up on that - it had been one of the adorable little quirks he’d noted about Ladybug years ago, and Marinette had always done the same thing. He still felt a guilty thrill whenever it hit him that they were one and the same, knowing he shouldn’t be pleased about it, knowing he was betraying her trust by knowing and not telling her but all the more enamoured by knowing her completely. Both sides of her. </p></div><div><p>“I’m much more comfortable with touching you than I am being touched.” She clarified. “Not... it’s not being touched by <em>you</em>.” Her explanation was clumsy, but he got the message, closing his eyes as she started to rinse his hair again, threading her fingers through the sud soaked locks to push the bubbles away from his face as she worked. </p></div><div><p>“Just being touched in general.” He concluded. </p></div><div><p>“Being touched certain places.” She hummed. </p></div><div><p>“I’m used to the other stuff now. The little things. The catalyst in London was you touching my boob. Stupid I know, but...” </p></div><div><p>“It’s not stupid, Marinette.” He reassured her, hating that that was always her default thought. </p></div><div><p>“It is though! Why am I seriously debating asking if I can touch your...” with his eyes closed he couldn’t see but he had a pretty clear idea of what she was gesturing at as she abandoned her thought mid-sentence. He blushed furiously at the mental image. “But I freak out at the idea of you touching me <em>even</em> over the bra? It makes no sense, I’m sorry.” She sighed, the final cup of water removing the last of the bubbles. </p></div><div><p>“It makes a lot of sense.” He said, sitting up and opening his eyes. “It’s about control.” </p></div><div><p>“I’m not controlling.” She argued, a little put out. Knowing her as well as he did, Adrien was tempted to point out she was a little controlling: not in a bad way, but she liked plans, schedules and orders. She liked to be in charge. He didn’t mention that.   </p></div><div><p>“Not what I meant. It’s... <em>if</em> you were to touch me you’d be in control. Anything that happened would be on your terms - you know where your hand’s going, you know your limits, you know your pacing. If I were to touch you... you’re amazing, but you’re not a mind reader.” The steam from the hot water had largely cleared as his bath cooled down, leaving her view completely unobscured. This time though, she didn’t ogle his body, she burst into a fit of laughter at his sopping wet hair splayed in all directions. </p></div><div><p>“I’m sorry,” she breathed between giggles “I know this is a really serious subject and I should be paying attention but it’s hard to take you seriously when you look like that GIF of the cat who fell in the sink of water.” She cackled.  </p></div><div><p>Adrien knew immediately which GIF she meant, he’d sent it to her... well Cat Noir had sent it to Ladybug when he’d figured out how to use that function on the communicators. He knew Ladybug threatening to throw his baton in the Seine if he sent her more cat GIFS had been an act! Choosing to run with the silly moment, Adrien adopted an indignant look, shaking his hand as though flicking water from his paw, mimicking the affronted cat from the GIF. She covered her mouth to stifle her laughter and he grinned. </p></div><div><p>“I love your laugh,” he told her, truly awed by her. She blushed. </p></div><div><p>“Okay Romeo, out before you get all wrinkly.” She chided, standing up. The motion unsettled her robe again and in a fleeting moment of bravery brought on by the casual intimacy of the situation, she went with it - pulled the fabric open at the top, effectively flashing him her black bikini top before quickly refastening it and saying in her most sensible, serious voice: “I’m going to go find the pizza menu.” </p></div><div><p>Adrien tried not to laugh at her about turn, figuring it wouldn’t be appropriate. He failed, and knew his stifled snicker embarrassed her. </p></div><div><p>“God, we need to work on your pick up lines Mari.” He teased. “Boobs - good. Pizza - good. I’ll be through as soon as I’m dressed.” He promised her in reassurance, and apology for laughing. Marinette looked incredibly proud of herself, blew him a kiss and flounced off to find the pizza menu. </p></div></div><div><p>———</p></div><div><p>The urge to tell her overwhelmed him in quiet moments like this. There wasn’t even anything special or romantic about the moment. Takeaway food long since eaten she was sat on his sofa, scribbling away in her sketchbook, occasionally pausing to put her pencil between her teeth. He’d never been more in love with her. </p></div><div><p>This was his Lady at rest. Everything he’d ever wanted to know about Ladybug, he’d already known. Her hobbies, her family situation, whether she had supportive friends, if she could sing. All the random little thoughts that had occurred to him over the years: sat right in front of him, relaxed and at ease on his sofa.</p></div><div><p>How could he ever have thought he was over her? How did he ever not realise he’d been crazy about Marinette the whole time? He hadn’t even really considered her until her eighteenth birthday, and had long since known (or thought he’d known) that she wasn’t Ladybug. One day: when she knew everything, he was going to <em>have</em> to get her to explain the Multimouse thing. </p></div><div><p>She deserved the truth. He owed her that much. Hawkmoth had already lied to her, manipulated her... did it even matter now in the grand scheme of things that Cat Noir had actually still loved her? Would knowing that assuage her guilt or ease her mind? Or would she still hate herself for what happened? </p></div><div><p>He was convinced though, that if he told her now she’d run. She wouldn’t feel calm and relaxed enough to drink coffee and sketch in Cat Noir’s living room. Wouldn’t feel safe enough to fall asleep in his bed, in his arms. She didn’t blame him, but she was still scared of him. That wasn’t her choice. If she ever looked at him as Adrien the way she’d looked at Cat Noir... the way he now realised was terror. He couldn’t tell her yet. But he would. One day, he’d tell her everything. </p></div><div><p>“What are you looking at me like that for?” Marinette asked. He blinked. She hadn’t even looked up from her sketchbook, but had noticed his staring. </p></div><div><p>“Because you take my breath away, my l...love.” He faltered. He had nearly called her ‘my lady’. Damn. He was going to have to watch that. Adrien saw her smirk at her drawing, pleased with either the compliment or the moniker. </p></div><div><p>“You’re not half bad yourself.” With a snap, Marinette shut her book and rose from the sofa, crossing the room to wrap him in a hug.</p></div><div><p>“I have to go home.” She murmured. Adrien pouted. </p></div><div><p>“Why?” </p></div><div><p>“Because papa’s cooking dinner, and I have to finish a commission.” Marinette told him reasonably. Still he sulked. He never wanted her to leave, and it wasn’t just that he thought too much when she wasn’t there. Every moment spent with her seemed magical - miraculous or not. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” She promised, arms going around his neck as his settled at her waist.</p></div><div><p><em>She’s not afraid of this</em>, he reassured himself, taking great pleasure in kissing her nose and her cheeks <em>you’ll tell her the truth one day, but for now she’s not scared of you. Don’t mess it up.</em> </p></div><div><p>“Tomorrow.” He agreed gently. </p></div><div><p>After she’d left for the day he was alone with his increasingly dark thoughts for all of two minutes before he received a text. </p></div><div><p>
      <em>Paintballing with Alya and Nino tomorrow at 1pm. Xx </em>
    </p></div><div><p>Dragged from his inevitable panic he smiled, recalling how he’d once been nervous about coming on too strong in wanting a second date so quickly. That seemed a lifetime ago now, and the worry had clearly been unfounded: she hadn’t even waited to get home to text him about their next meet up - a double date. He nearly cheered at the absurdity of it, oddly amused at at the realisation that he was going on a double date with Ladybug, and the couple formerly known as Rena Rouge and Carapace, having once wielded the Fox and the Turtle. Before his father had messed that up too... he tore his train of thoughts off of that track and replied to her text:</p></div><div><p>
      <b>
        <em>Sounds lovely. Xx</em>
      </b>
    </p></div><div><p>
      <em>Not lovely. Alya is brutal, we’re all gonna die, but it’ll be fun. Xx </em>
    </p></div><div><p>Adrien fell backward onto the sofa, smiling softly at the ceiling. </p></div><div><p>“Do all humans get this goofy when they’re in love?” Plagg asked from a shelf. </p></div><div><p>“Dunno, but I’ve no intention of stopping.” Adrien whispered, grin faltering. “Wait. Is it... is it bad that I’m happy, Plagg? Not about... I mean that’s obviously a whole thing and I wish it hadn’t happened, I wish I could convince her to go back to therapy... but... I mean... being with her. Marinette being Ladybug. I love her, and she loves me and I’m... I’m happy.” He said gently, now wearing a frown as he doubted himself. “I shouldn’t be happy right now though, right?” </p></div><div><p>“Hm. I don’t get the whole sex thing.” Plagg admitted, flying down to join him on the sofa. “To me it’s sort of like... Hawkmoth brushed your teeth without permission. Sure it’s weird and it’s gross but... I’m not sure how affected you’re supposed to be? It’s clearly bothering her more than it’s bothering you,” Adrien was pretty sure that was true. It wasn’t that he was okay with what had happened but he had no memory of it. He definitely felt angry and guilty... but was he supposed to be traumatised too? Or did he get a pass on that, given he’d effectively slept through it? Was it okay to be okay? He wasn’t sure. </p></div><div><p>“So look after her, if she needs it, but... She’s the one who told you not to feel guilty for being happy right? I say take happiness where you find it.” </p></div><div><p>“That was... oddly insightful. Thanks, Plagg.” Adrien whispered. </p></div><div><p>“I try.” Plagg smiled - because it was all he could do. </p></div></div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next chapter soon, I promise. Again, thank you to everyone who’s reading and reviewing.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which Marinette’s luck runs out</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Apologies for massive angst in this chapter. This is probably where I’ll lose a few readers but I promise there’s fluff to come.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
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  <p>“I’m concerned with how many of our dates involve you shooting me.” Adrien joked, attaching his protective vest. He’d never been paintballing - well, not actual paintball, he’d fought an akumatised art student once and wondered if that counted. Probably not.</p>
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  <p>“Wasn’t my idea this time - this was all Alya.” Marinette laughed, struggling with her buckle and frowning. She had been here before and knew her size... she knew she’d gained a little timber but surely not that much? “Give me a hand?” Adrien made to help her with the clasp but Alya got there first, tugging the straps and frowning. </p>
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  <p>“It’s a little tight...” She admitted. </p>
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  <p>“I really should join the gym.” Marinette complained.</p>
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  <p> </p>
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  <p>“Again, you’re not fat you’ve just suddenly sprouted boobs, congratulations on finally hitting puberty.” Alya laughed, realising the problem was her chest, her friend flushed in embarrassment. Adrien hovered beside Nino, worrying Marinette would panic with Alya so close to her breasts but not wanting to jump in.</p>
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  <p>“I’m still jealous, when I gain a few pounds it goes straight to my butt.” She joked, much calmer this time now they weren’t enduring a pregnancy scare. She’d held Marinette’s hand as the tests had turned negative and knew how scared she’d been. The notion that Marinette’s love of sweets was finally catching up with her was soothing to them both in comparison. </p>
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  <p>“I’m not complaining about that.” Nino winked, getting the middle finger from his girlfriend in response. </p>
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  <p> </p>
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  <p>“Ooft. Got it. Can you still breathe?” Teased her friend as the clasp finally fastened, if a little strained over her bust. Marinette pouted and made a darkly muttered comment about too much ice cream and not enough exercise. Adrien felt a little flare of guilt, while her weight gain certainly wasn’t an excessive amount, he knew it bothered her and that he was largely the reason she was binge eating sweets and not Ladybugging it around Paris come nightfall any more. Maybe he could suggest a dance class or something they could do together? Or would that come across as insensitive? </p>
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  <p> </p>
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  <p>He kissed her affectionately. </p>
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  <p>“Wanna go kick their asses?” He whispered in her ear, a personal vendetta sounded fun. </p>
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  <p>“Psht, Adrien honey, we’re not friends in here.” Marinette smirked, eyes glinting with a wicked glee. “This is war.” She winked at him, as each of them were lead to separate entrances. “I love you, and I apologise in advance for killing you.” She winked and blew him a kiss, dashing into the arena. </p>
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  <p> </p>
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  <p>Yeah... Adrien had no clue how he’d never realised she was Ladybug. </p>
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  <p> </p>
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  <p>Stalking her through the undergrowth was oddly thrilling. It was the closest thing to a Cat Noir and Ladybug training session he could remember in months. Adrenaline, the thrill of the chase with none of the actual danger - he’d even broken a sweat. Yep, he definitely liked paintballing.</p>
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  <p>She sprinted off at one point and he lost her. Catching sight of Nino before he could aim at him he rolled off under a bush and headed off in the direction he’d last seen Marinette go. The glass dome of the arena made the place feel like a green house in the September sunlight and he was giddy at the realisation he was breaking a sweat. Heroism be damned: he didn’t have an advantage here. If he wanted to win he’d have to work for it. </p>
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  <p> </p>
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  <p>A loud, angry yell of </p>
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  <p>“What the hell, babe?!” Followed by a cackle indicated Nino had been hit somewhere behind him. He narrowly avoided Alya’s bullet, largely due to Nino’s pseudo death acting as warning, hearing her swear when she realised she’d missed him and lost sight of him as he crawled off through the undergrowth. </p>
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  <p> </p>
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  <p>Target acquired. Marinette had located Alya and was slinking silently along a wall in her approach. </p>
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  <p>Paintball rifle cocked and ready to shoot an unsuspecting Alya; her eyes were on her prize and she was unaware of him on the hill behind her. Adrien wondered if he was a little messed up in the head that he found her, fully focused and in Ladybug mode, sexier somehow. Still, his ‘kill’ was lined up, and she <em>had</em> said it was war. Competitive instinct trumped romance apparently. She’d forgive him... and if she didn’t he could always make her dinner or something in apology? </p>
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  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>With a zip and a ping Marinette’s pink bullet flew and struck Alya’s shoulder tag, an indignant shriek and a filthy word filling the air as the blogger realised she’d been hit - beaten at her own game. Adrien took aim, prepared to be the last man standing, but as his finger made to squeeze the trigger, Marinette crumpled to the floor in a heap as though she’d actually been hit. He was down there in seconds, cracking branches and tumbling down the hill in his urgency, reaching her only a moment after Alya. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Is the vest actually too tight?” Worried the woman, realising her friend was unconscious. Adrien quickly unclipped the chest clasp and checked the tension by placing two fingers down the vest - while certainly a little snug, it hadn’t been tight enough that it should have compromised her breathing. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I said check her vest not grope her.” Alya growled. She yelled for a timeout, rushing away to find a game keeper. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Come on... come on... you with me?” Adrien asked, tapping her face lightly. It didn’t look like a panic attack, so maybe she’d fainted? </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Cat?” He heard her murmur, dazedly, eyes still closed. Pretending not to hear that, he tapped her face again, noting her cheeks were a little flushed. September was mostly over, and the weather was turning colder once more, but running around in the greenhouse of an arena clad in armour could possibly have overheated her, he supposed, especially if she was a little out of her usual excerise routine. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Marinette, you fainted. You feeling okay?” He asked as her eyes opened, gaze unfocused. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“An ambulance is on the way.” Nino told him, apparently he’d been lurking just out of sight, and was acting as go between for Alya in the office. They were all highly skilled as assassins, clearly, everyone had been hot on each other’s tail at the end. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ambu... I don’t... what happened?” Marinette murmured, bewildered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I think you just got a little hot.” Adrien sympathised, stroking her hair. She tried to sit up but he eased her back down. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Dizzy.” She mumbled. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“That’s fine. You just stay down okay, no more falling over.” Adrien soothed, heart still hammering at her state. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Have you... Marinette, don’t take this the wrong way but... have you eaten today?” Nino asked tentatively. Adrien blinked at the question. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Mari, tell me you’re not starving yourself?” He growled, suddenly wishing he’d been more aggressive when calling the magazine publishing company. Curse his polite attitude. He was going to have to ensure Tikki checked on her, Alya too if necessary. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Do I look like I’m starving?” Marinette grumbled but added “yes, I’ve eaten today” to assuage their worries. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>By the time the paramedics arrived she was already feeling better, on her feet and arguing that she really didn’t need to go to the hospital she’d just had a dizzy spell. Still, the two women in medical uniforms insisted she go along anyway as yes, she was probably right, and it was probably nothing but they just wanted to make sure. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>—————— </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I feel like a pincushion.” Marinette whined, rubbing her arm and wondering why a little wooziness warranted the vampiric assault - were blood tests really necessary? Adrien squeezed the opposite hand so as not to cause her any more pain. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“The doctor said you’re probably a little anaemic.” He reminded her. “They just need to be sure your iron’s low and that’s why you fainted.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Anaemia was largely something he associated with girls at work, some of whom just plain weren’t eating enough to keep their levels up, starving themselves in an attempt to achieve some ridiculous, impractical concept of beauty that society had implanted in their heads, but some were just in the unfortunately common category for it: being a young woman made it more likely. It was hopefully easily fixed and he wasn’t too worried for her health now she was up and about, more sympathetic to her indignation at an unscheduled hospital trip. Grumpy Marinette was adorable. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t like needles.” She grumbled, wishing she hadn’t caused such a dramatic scene. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“So that’s a no on the matching sweetheart tattoos then?” He joked, getting a playful swat on the arm that didn’t actually land on purpose. Marinette was wary of hitting him - even in play - aware of her excessive strength, and still wracked with guilt over punching him in London. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Absolutely not.” He stuck his tongue out at her and she groaned, shaking her head.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Want to play super penguino on my phone?” He offered, climbing onto the hospital bed and turning his device sideways so they could share.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She blamed her subsequent loss on the needle numbed arm, and the fact she lay her head on his shoulder half way through to stare and let herself get distracted by him. Cast in the bright white lights of the hospital room, he seemed more beautiful than ever, glowing beside her. Attractive, caring, attentive, determined to provide a distraction... she flushed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Every time I think I couldn’t be more in love you with, you prove me wrong.” Marinette murmured into his shoulder. Being here with her after a fainting spell... he really didn’t have to stay but she knew he hadn’t even considered not coming in with her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“For playing games designed for eight year olds with you?” He asked, passing her the phone so she could take her turn. An eye roll. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes. Yes, that’s the reason I love you.” She deadpanned. <em>For still being here when I’m so far from being a superhero that I literally can’t stand on my own two feet</em>, she thought, touched. She didn’t need saving, a dizzy spell was nothing she couldn’t handle but she wanted someone by her side: she wanted him. He kissed her forehead and huddled in a little closer. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Hospitals were boring. Hours of waiting were bad enough but with all white walls and pale blue bedding, there wasn’t even anything interesting to look at, present company excluded. When they tired of super penguino, they texted Alya and Nino respectively letting them know they were still in waiting for blood results to confirm an iron deficiency, as both friends were concerned, and then started a GIF war with each other, snickering occasionally at the other’s messages. While Adrien consciously decided to avoid too many cat GIFS, sprinkling his messages with varied animals and babies and occasionally vehicles, he was pleasantly surprised to see how many of Marinette’s responses were feline. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She was still giggling when a doctor came in. He was a broad man, standing easily six foot three, with an impressive moustache that masked his expression and somehow made him look more ominous. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Miss Dupain-Cheng?” He asked, shooting Adrien a warning look, sheepishly Adrien slipped off of the bed and back on to the chair meant for visitors. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes. Anaemic?” She wondered, grabbing her bag - he’d write her a prescription for iron tablets and then she’d be able to go, right? </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Do you give permission for your friend to stay?” The doctor asked, gesturing at Adrien. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Boyfriend.” Adrien immediately corrected, earning a pleased little grin from Marinette with how quick he was to clarify. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes. He already knows my diet sucks. I promise to eat better.” Marinette smiled in apology. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You are anaemic... but your blood work also shows you’re pregnant.” The mountain of a man said gently. All the air fled Adrien’s lungs, the blood draining from his face. He was fairly certain the bottom dropped out of his stomach. This could not be happening. A glance at Marinette, however, startled him: she looked defiant. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Then the blood work’s wrong.” She insisted, unperturbed. “I already took a home test - two even. They’re 99% accurate, I’m not pregnant. It’s a mistake, you’ve given me someone else’s results or... something.” Marinette had triple checked the tests. Alya had too. There had been no second line. She wasn’t pregnant, the doctor was wrong. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You took a home test?” Adrien whispered. How could she not have mentioned that? That she had even considered she could be and wouldn’t tell him? </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“After they ran that stupid article! I’m not pregnant, I just like ice cream.” She growled, frustrated. “Call Alya if you don’t believe me, she was with me!” Alya would back her up. The blood work was wrong. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Can I ask when your last menstrual period was?” The doctor continued, ignoring her protests. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Two years ago!” Marinette said, unabashed. “I stopped getting them when I went on the pill.” She’d only gone on it to try regulate her cycle after one too many poorly timed periods had interfered with her already packed schedule. Not having them at all had just wound up being a bonus. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’d like to do a quick abdominal check and then run an ultrasound, if that’s okay.” The doctor said, unfazed by her objections. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“An ab... no. No! I’m <em>not</em> pregnant and you’re not touching me!” There was a note of panic in her tone now, her entire body shifting a few inches up the bed, subconsciously moving away from the man in the white coat. She didn’t want him to touch her, could think of nothing worse in that moment than a stranger putting his hands on her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Mari...” Adrien said weakly, amazed his voice was still working. Wide eyed, she stared at him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You have to believe me. I’m not, I checked.” She told him firmly. “And I don’t want him to touch me.” She clarified, voice firm but eyes wide.  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Home tests aren’t infallible. They’re prone to user errors or batch errors.” The doctor told her kindly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I know how to read instructions!” She complained, refusing to believe him. It hadn’t been that hard, physically - dunk the stick in a cup of pee for ten seconds and wait three minutes. Emotionally it had been a feat, but Alya’s support had helped. She’d already been reprieved, and wasn’t letting up now. “I followed the instructions.” Marinette growled. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Okay.” The doctor agreed, tone kind. “In which case you’re in the 1% of cases where the tests are wrong. There are lots of different reasons you could fall into that category, over hydration, a hormone imbalance, overactive kidneys... In this case your blood work showed a very high level of the hormone associated with pregnancy... it’s possibly an example of the hook effect.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“The what?” Adrien asked, still pale and shaken. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Home tests are very accurate at detecting early pregnancy... but if, as the case may be here, Miss Dupain-Cheng is further along in her pregnancy, the high levels of hormones can sometimes confuse the test, causing a false negative.” Adrien blinked: that... sounded insane. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No.” Marinette whispered, devastated, causing the doctor to turn his attention back to her. This wasn’t happening. She couldn’t have missed something this big? She’d already had this panic: already proved that it had been nothing to worry about, hadn’t she? </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“An abdominal check will give us a better idea of how far along you are, and an ultrasound will give us an exact date, and be able to ensure all is going well.” He explained, his words a little fuzzy in Marinette’s ears. An uncomfortable silence descended on the pair while the doctor awaited her consent. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Unsure what comfort he could offer her, whilst on the verge of falling apart himself, Adrien reached for her hand only to find she snatched hers away, her expression blank. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Don’t.” She whispered. Adrien grimaced, what he really needed was a minute to shout and scream and panic alone, where she couldn’t see him break down. He suspected she might be wanting the same, and that was why she’d withdrawn so he gave her her space. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Can we request a female doctor?” Adrien asked gently, recalling how at ease Marinette had been with Alya adjusting her vest. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Please?” Marinette agreed, a rush of gratitude toward him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Of course. I’ll go book the ultrasound, could be an hour or so depending on how busy the maternity suite is, and I’ll request another doctor for the abdominal check.” He confirmed, leaving the room. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Falling back on to the bed, Marinette stared up at the ceiling. She wasn’t crying, she just looked... broken. Somehow, that was worse.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien knew her inside out, plagued by the realisation that her silence indicated she was losing herself in thoughts that were likely dark. Agitated, restless, and desperate to just transform and jump out of a window, Adrien opted to pace the room, his hands in his hair. Plagg was practically vibrating in his pocket, a tiny show of solidarity, and suspected from the way Marinette’s hand absently rested upon her purse, that Tikki was doing the same. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He’d gotten Marinette <em>pregnant</em>. She’d been pregnant their whole relationship. The press had figured it out before she had and that was a whole heap of trouble on its own. If his maths was any good she was nearly half way through her pregnancy already. Too far to consider not keeping it. So she’d actually have to give birth... adoption was a possibility but not one he’d personally be comfortable with. Not that he had a choice in the matter. That had to be her call. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He couldn’t exactly tell her right now that he was the father of her child either, not without further torturing her... Hawkmoth’s absence worked in their favour because one of them was bound to summon a butterfly in their current state. After the lecture his father gave him on contraception as well? Hypocrite! Adrien’s gait only grew more frantic and erratic as he worked himself into a state. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette’s thoughts turned to sheer bad luck of it all. The overwhelming number of mathematical unlikelihoods that had lead to this situation. What were the odds of Cat being akumatised, her throwing caution to the wind, her pill somehow failing at that exact time, no symptoms and two pregnancy tests failing. She’d have a higher chance of winning the lottery, and she didn’t even play. Maybe Cat Noir’s bad luck was sexually transmitted? Maybe Hawkmoth had done something to ensure it? Maybe having sex while wielding the goddess of creation had been a bad idea? </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She swallowed and wondered why she wasn’t crying. She should be crying, right? Not calculating mathematical unlikelihoods. Instead she considered the practicalities she’d have to plan for. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>School. She’d felt tired for weeks, and if she was due in February she’d either have to miss a large chunk of education toward the end of the school year or drop out. Cat Noir... she’d have to tell him, keeping his assault from him had been part cowardice but largely justifiable as an act of kindness, keeping his child’s existence from him would be cruel. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>And then there was Adrien. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She watched him flit around the room, unnerved and distressed, a sad smile gracing her face. Poor, sweet Adrien. He’d been wonderful. He’d gone above and beyond for her, but this was so far from his comfort zone. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You can go.” She said kindly. Adrien whirled around, mid step, bewildered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m not going anywhere. I’m here. I’m here Marinette, we’ll figure something out.” He promised, voice cracking. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Adrien.” Her tone was oddly firm. “If I’m pregnant, I’m over four months gone... there’s nothing to figure out... I’m having a baby. I’m having another man’s child.” Marinette spoke clearly, sadness in every corner of her voice. “It’s okay. You can go.” She whispered, willing herself not to cry now.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No.” Adrien growled, panic starting to crawl in his gut. “We’ll get married.” He decided. “We’ll get married and you can move in... we’ll turn the spare room into a nursery. It’ll be fine.” He insisted. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Adrien. Stop.” She pleaded. Pale, drawn, shaking her head, she looked determined. “Listen to yourself... just think for half a second about what you’re willing to sacrifice. That’s not okay. I don’t want you dragged into this, you’ve already done so much.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I love you!” Adrien hadn’t meant to shout it, but it came out loud all the same. She didn’t flinch, only nodded. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I know. I love you too... enough to not saddle you with my mistakes.” She murmured. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“That’s not...” he began, desperate for her to believe him. “It wasn’t your fault!” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Regardless of whose fault it is... I chose to have sex without a condom, so this is my problem.” She said firmly: </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Would you just <em>stop</em> being so self sacrificial for two minutes and listen to...” he began, still loud, still frustrated. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I want you to leave, Adrien. Please.” The resolution in her voice chilled him to the bone and solidified her state of mind. She’d made her decision. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Marinette, don’t do this... you’re in shock... you’re not thinking straight!” He pleaded, crossing to her bed. “I’ll beg if I have to.” He grabbed her hand and kissed it. “Please don’t. Please...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Adrien... <em>I said no</em>.” There was such an edge to that declaration, with Adrien suddenly realising he was touching her when she’d revoked her permission. He let go of her hand, closing his eyes and wobbling. He knew he wasn’t helping the tentative situation. He needed to go - to collect his thoughts, to have his moment of panic away from her, where it wouldn’t drag her further down when she had to be drowning with it already. Still... he didn’t want to leave her, frightened and alone. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Can we talk when you’ve calmed down?” He asked, trying to keep his breathing steady. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Adrien...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m not giving you up without a fight.” He growled. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“And I’m not fighting!” Her voice raised too that time, and from the slightly horrified look on her face he knew she hadn’t meant to shout either. “It’s over. It was over before we even started. Thank you for... for everything I...” she bit her lip and looked away, unable to face him. “Please go?” She begged, clearly distressed. Moments away from a panic attack if he didn’t leave, Adrien suspected.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>As his eyes closed, tears fell, but he chose to ignore them for now. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Only if you call Alya.” He whispered. “Or your mother. Someone. I don’t want you to be alone right now.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I do alright on my own.” Marinette murmured, folding her arms. She’d get used to it again. “But I’ll call Alya.” She promised, turning her head away from him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien, unwelcome to stay, had no choice but to leave. The late September air was starting to chill, the bright colours of the leaves mocking him as he left the white rooms of the hospital behind. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What are you doing?!” Plagg hissed the moment they were alone. “Turn around! Go back to her!” He ordered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She doesn’t want me there right now.” And didn’t that hurt. She’d walked away, again. He’d done everything he could to shield her, and she was taking on the weight of the world alone all over again: he couldn’t protect her from what had already happened. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hopefully she’ll... she’ll think about it and come round but... she warned me already about pushing on cracked glass. If I force her to deal with all of that on top of this right now she’ll...” Adrien’s first thought, for some insane reason, was the Eiffel Tower.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Shatter.” Plagg whispered, shocked. “Adrien! We can’t... you have to... oh, fuck, this is a mess.” He groaned, clearly nearly as agitated as Adrien himself. There was something ominous about hearing an ancient god swear, but really what other word was appropriate here? </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m going to be a father.” Adrien breathed. To a baby conceived without either of their consent, to a baby whose mother didn’t know the father’s identity, to a <em>baby </em>period. An actual human being. Closing his eyes tightly, Adrien was silently grateful for the quiet back alleys of Paris, where nobody could see him collapse and fall to pieces. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He’d never had a panic attack before, wasn’t even sure that was what it was... but he definitely forgot how to breathe at some point. Plagg could only hover and stroke his back. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>—————— </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sabine knew there was something terribly wrong when her daughter slipped into the shop as white as a sheet, with Alya in tow sporting a grim expression. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Upstairs.” Sabine whispered, eyeing the girls. “Honey, mind the til for a minute?” She called to her husband, following their figures up the stairs into the apartment. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What happened?” The matriarch asked the minute they all reached the living room. Alya was easing Marinette into her seat. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She’s in shock.” Alya said carefully, biting her lip with nerves. It wasn’t her story to tell. “Marinette...” she prompted. Mutely, Marinette pushed a piece of paper at her mother, the older woman taking it and gasping realising she was looking at an ultrasound. An ultrasound not of a tiny dot, but of a very humanoid looking baby... she looked up from the grainy grey photograph to her trembling daughter and concerned friend. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’ll be okay, Marinette. It’s not ideal, of course it isn’t, but we’ll all rally round you.” Sabine insisted, as Marinette had predicted she would. “Oh, baby...” she sat down on the sofa next to her only child and wrapped her arms around her, the teenager trembling so much she might as well be buzzing. <em>Oh baby indeed</em>, Marinette thought miserably. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Maman, I’m sorry,” was all she managed to mumble. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I know you and Adrien haven’t been together that long but...” her mother began but Alya made a frantic cut throat motion behind Marinette’s back, gesturing for Sabine to stop talking. Marinette winced. Had to nip that one in the bud. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“That’s kind of the problem.” She whispered softly. “Adrien and I... haven’t been together...” her finger tapped the ultrasound. “<em>That</em> long.”  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s... not Adrien’s baby.” Sabine realised, devastated on her daughter’s behalf. She’d been so happy with Adrien... </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No. The dates don’t add up.” Alya sighed softly. “He was with her when she got the news but... he took off and now Nino can’t find him anywhere. I’m worried about him too.” She admitted, rubbing Marinette’s back in small circles. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Must have been quite a shock to Adrien as well.” Her mother reasoned. Marinette nodded glumly, her heart aching for the dejected blond. He hadn’t asked for all this.  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Go look for him, Alya. I’ll be okay here.” Marinette promised weakly, hoping they’d be able to ease his pain - they couldn’t help hers. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’ll take care of her.” Sabine reassured. Alya kissed Marinette’s forehead gently. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’ll be okay, Mari.” She swore, before hurrying out the door with her phone in her hand. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I messed up, maman.” Marinette whispered, reaching for the photograph on the table and staring at it in disbelief. She was pregnant. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We all do, sweetheart. With a little luck and a lot of love... we’ll be fine.” She told her daughter, bringing her back in for another cuddle. A little luck? If Marinette had had any luck left she wouldn’t be in this position. She was definitely looking into the theory that she’d been cursed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette couldn’t stop staring at the picture - she was so far along that the baby had hands and feet, and a distinctive little face turned upward in relation to the camera. Marinette could swear she saw Cat Noir’s nose and inhaled sharply. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Papa’s going to be so mad...” she murmured. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You let me handle your father.” Insisted Sabine, in a no-nonsense tone that Marinette so sorely needed to hear.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“How far are you?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Sixteen weeks past conception which apparently means I’m eighteen weeks pregnant?” Sabine nodded as though that made perfect sense as Marinette tried to recall what the doctors had told her. Everything divulged to her in the dark little ultrasound room sounded like it was coming through a badly tuned speaker. She’d have to get the cliff notes from Alya later.  “They gave me a bunch of different medicines to take uhm... apparently I’m anaemic... oh and it’s a girl.” She remembered, her voice weak.</p>
</div><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Fun facts: the hook effect is an actual thing, and I am in the 1% of women who can’t count on home pregnancy tests due to a hormone imbalance - yay? </p>
<p>Anyone who has figured out the reason for all this mathematical what-the-fuckery gets a cookie. If you’re still with me - thank you for reading and reviewing, and the next chapter will be up soon. If you’re leaving the story here then thank for for reading this far.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which everyone has something to say</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Okay we got more angst, sorry. Fluff too though... so win?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div>
  <p>The next few days, Marinette was mostly quiet while other people talked at her. For her. Alya had briefly mentioned adoption during the first pregnancy tests, but she didn’t bring the topic up again. It didn’t seem to occur to her parents or her friends that she might not want the baby, with each of them throwing in ideas to help plan for the apparent inevitability of its arrival. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She’d have to drop out of school. Take a year out, starting as soon as she could face the outside world long enough to go see the administration team, return the following September when the baby she was apparently having, whether she wanted to or not, would be around six months old. If she dropped one of her classes (the art class she’d taken for fun, she concluded miserably) her parents would be able to hire an extra pair of hands at the bakery and help look after the baby when she was at school. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Money. Money was the bigger issue. Alya had helpfully reopened Marinette’s commission box. Adrien had yet to give a public statement on their break up, and as guilty as she felt cashing in on the whole relationship thing, she seized the opportunity his silence provided to accept as many orders as she could possibly handle in the interim. Her parents wouldn’t be able to house her and a baby for free, especially not while taking on additional staff. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Housing. Not much choice. Her share of the utilities, combined with her business expenses and the multitude of purchases she’d need to make for an incoming arrival was going to leave her drained, just about breaking even if she was lucky... she didn’t feel it lately. She couldn’t afford to rent her own place on top of that. Just how she was supposed to manage with a baby in a loft bedroom was beyond her but she was going to have to make it work somehow. There wasn’t room in her dorm for a baby - she wasn’t even sure that was legal, the loft bedroom at their house wasn’t exactly ideal for raising a baby... the thought of navigating the trapdoor with a newborn was anxiety inducing all on its own. Maybe her parents could switch rooms with her? But then they’d go downstairs every morning at 4am and wake the baby... </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Absently, she wondered if everyone would have just assumed she was keeping the baby if they knew the truth about how she’d come to be. Even Adrien, who did know, had rushed straight to thoughts of marriage and a nursery. Was she supposed to be happy about it? Shocked and surprised for a few days and then pleased, like this wasn’t about to turn her life upside down? Everyone seemed to think she should and it grated on her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>It wasn’t like adoption was an easy out either. She’d still have to carry the baby until February, try hiding a baby bump (which was admittedly small. Too small for nearly five months, Marinette didn’t understand that) because the press would tear her apart, and drag Adrien down with her if they found out she was in fact pregnant and then no baby came of it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>And then there was Cat Noir. Adoption would be a very permanent solution to a temporary problem. She wouldn’t be alone forever. She had no intention of stealing Cat Noir away from his girlfriend, or getting anything out of him, but keeping his assault from him had been an act of mercy. Keeping the fact he had a daughter? </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Giving her up without even discussing it with him? She just couldn’t do that. He was her friend. He’d done nothing wrong and he had a right to know. She’d left it so long... he’d be furious with her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“How do I even tell Cat Noir?” She sighed miserably. Tikki peered at her from across the bed. She’d largely stayed quiet on the subject, occasionally she’d had a pregnant holder before but she’d never had one who was pregnant when she didn’t want to be. Tikki wasn’t sure what the protocol was on that. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Are you sure you should?” She asked gently. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s his. She. She’s his.” She whispered, trying to think of the pregnancy as a baby instead of a burden. She wasn’t doing so well with that. “He can’t not know about her.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“If you tell him... he’ll want to be involved.” Of course he would. She knew Cat Noir. However she had come to be pregnant, whatever decision she came to, he’d want to be involved. “It’ll mean an identity reveal...”</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“...and he’s compromised...” Marinette realised slowly. “Oh god I CAN’T tell him!” She breathed, eyes wide, as she recalled Cat’s warning: that Hawkmoth was probably waiting until he knew who Ladybug was to strike. She wondered why this was just occurring to her now. If, whoever Cat Noir was beneath the mask, was seen liaising with a pregnant Marinette, Hawkmoth wouldn’t have to be a genius to figure it out from the timing. He already knew who Cat Noir was as a civilian, if he knew who Marinette was... and it wasn’t like she could even fight when pregnant... </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette closed her eyes tightly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I <em>can’t</em> tell him.” She whispered, crumbling under the realisation. She couldn’t tell him or Paris would fall. So much for Alya’s promise that being pregnant wasn’t the end of the world... if she revealed herself to Hawkmoth the world would actually end.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Tikki was bound by magic to protect their identities. As badly as she wanted to, she physically couldn’t tell Marinette that Cat Noir already knew without giving Adrien away. Meaning she also couldn’t tell her that her identity was <em>already</em> compromised and Hawkmoth hadn’t acted on it. So Tikki hated the situation, continued to say nothing and hugged her cheek. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I have to do this alone.” Marinette mumbled, swallowing hard in resignation. Somehow choosing not to tell Cat Noir and not being able to were two different things. The decision had been taken away from her. Again. Where she had felt pain and sadness initially, now she felt numb in regards to the child. This was happening whether she wanted it to or not, and she had to plan. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Which meant she had to make a choice.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She didn’t like either option. What if she gave the baby away and she’d already been compromised? If Hawkmoth had seen her that night? Or if he’d read that stupid article - no, no, he’d assume the baby was Adrien’s, Marinette being pregnant wasn’t a red flag there. What if he went after the baby with her new family? She’d be an easy target with civilian parents. However Marinette felt about the idea of having a baby, she was still a baby. Still her daughter. She didn’t want her in danger. Cat Noir wouldn’t want her in danger either. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>But if she kept it? Had to raise Cat Noir’s child alone... with him potentially <em>never</em> knowing? Whenever she closed her eyes, Marinette could still feel leather against her bare skin, claws where they shouldn’t be, still see that pink mask glowing in the night. She shuddered. She worried she was never going to be able to hold her baby without seeing all that. Marinette suddenly wanted to throw up, and knew it was nothing to do with hormones. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The baby would probably be safer with Marinette but more loved elsewhere. Marinette didn’t know what to think. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>With her thoughts turning away from her condition, she returned to the thought of Hawkmoth and became angry. This was his fault. Marinette wanted to scream. To kick and punch and just... break something. Preferably his face. The anger felt good. A welcome distraction from the reality of her situation. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Her parents were away, catering at a function... so she screamed. She screamed until her voice was hoarse. She cried and threw her pillow. Always, she had preferred her own power over Cat Noir’s. Creation over destruction. That night she wished she had her partner’s cataclysm. She wanted to destroy something. Anything. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>——————</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I have to tell her.” Adrien said softly. He’d barely moved from his bed, save for refreshing the tissue box every so often. Marinette had left him, again, and he had no choice in the matter. He had been powerless to stop her leaving as Ladybug, and found himself in the exact same situation once again. She said they were done, so they were done. He couldn’t fix that. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He could tell her the truth though, help her through the situation, regardless of their relationship status. He owed her that much. All he could hope was that the truth wouldn’t break her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Okay. If you’re sure.” Plagg said softly, knowing the lies would be a weight off of Adrien’s mind. In the few days since learning of Marinette’s unexpected pregnancy, Adrien hadn’t left the apartment: costumed or otherwise. Nino had visited, several times. Adrien had been able to say precisely nothing, so had mostly reverted to one word answers and grunts. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Mind made up, Adrien checked the clock. 9pm. Probably a bit late to be going over as Adrien: and he wasn’t entirely sure Sabine and Tom would even let him in. Why did the idea of Marinette’s family disowning him with the dissolution of their relationship hit like a punch to the stomach? He’d never felt more alone. Plagg didn’t understand, as hard as he tried, Adrien had no parents to lean on, no family, and his friends didn’t know the truth. Who he really needed at that moment was Ladybug... and he couldn’t lean on her either, with the weight of the world already on her shoulders. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Right then. The truth.” Adrien sighed, accepting his fate. “Plagg, claws out.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Winding his way over the rooftops, he missed when Cat Noir had been an exciting thing to be. Now he was half certain he was going to terrify her. He planned to change on the bakery balcony: hoping the momentary confusion as to why Adrien was on her roof would stave off her panic. Except... </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She was already on her balcony, staring out over the city. Cat Noir froze, fairly certain she hadn’t yet seen him. It broke his heart to see her look so sad, so small in a city that had once been hers to play in. <em>You did that to her</em>. Creeping closer he could see the tear tracks down her face, the soft lift of her hair with the autumnal breeze, could hear the tell tale whisper of her talking with her kwami. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I hate the thought of not telling Cat Noir.” He heard Marinette murmur, aided by his improved hearing. Cat Noir swallowed: she had no intention of telling him, apparently. He’d known that, so wasn’t sure why it stung so badly. Logically she couldn’t: not without giving herself away to someone who’d already been compromised. Not telling him was the sensible, safe decision. Still. Ouch.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“If I get caught... we’ll both be targeted if Hawkmoth comes back. I can’t fight pregnant, I fainted at paintball so superheroism’s out.” She said miserably. Fuck. Cat Noir hadn’t even thought about that. He swallowed hard. Having been so wrapped up in thoughts of pregnancy and the actual baby, he hadn’t even considered Hawkmoth making a return. He could seize the moment she was weak... he’d figure her out just from the timing of it all. Telling Cat Noir would basically be handing his father the earrings. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I keep... I keep thinking about what he’d want.” Marinette whispered. “However... however it happened. He wouldn’t want me to deliberately put myself in danger. He wouldn’t want me to put the baby in danger.” Her voice was shaking as she tried to explain it and Cat Noir realised she was still crying. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>His gut twisted suddenly - knowing he shouldn’t be spying on her. He’d just... act casual? Pass by. See if she wanted to talk? About anything, not just the baby? Maybe he could try being Marinette’s friend? Maybe she’d appreciate the confidant? He just wanted to talk to her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>But as his baton clinked closer her head snapped up, eyes wide. She didn’t say a word, but turned on her heel and went back through the skylight, vanishing into her bedroom. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Cat Noir felt sick. The mere sight of him had scared her off. He shouldn’t have been surprised... but it felt like being broken up with all over again. It felt like being abandoned. </p>
</div><div>
  <p></p>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Marinette sank down on to her bed, fists clenching in the sheets: since when did his patrol take him past the bakery? Why had he chosen that night of all nights to cross her path? Knowing it was probably a coincidence didn’t quell the racing heartbeat she wished would shut up and give her a moment’s peace.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>She ought to go make amends at the very least, even if she couldn’t explain the situation... she wanted to. Desperately, she wanted her friend back. She wanted to just break down and cry in his arms and confess everything, to apologise, to get his help and his support as the only other person in the world who knew the whole truth. No matter how angry he was with her, he’d be sympathetic, surely? He was Cat Noir. He’d hold her tight and make her feel safe, wouldn’t he? </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Her mind played tricks on her, the vision of Cat Noir holding her, supporting her through it morphing to Adrien. She’d always felt safe with him. Had <em>actually</em> been safe with him. She loved him and he loved her. If she hadn’t acted to rashly, hadn’t broken up with him... she closed her eyes and slid her hand to her hair, mimicking brushing it. The sensation was soothing but she still felt restless. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>She wanted Adrien, wanted to curl up in his bed and kiss his shoulder, wanted to love and to be loved by Adrien. The memory of his heartbeat beneath her ear finally calmed hers. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Adrien was the one she loved, but she wanted to tell Cat Noir the truth as his friend. Except she couldn’t do that without endangering Paris. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p></p>
    <div>
      <p>Belatedly, she realised she’d probably given up Ladybug for good. If anybody saw Ladybug out and about with a baby bump it was game over. </p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p> </p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>Marinette’s pregnancy would inevitably make headlines whatever she did, people could make the connection if Ladybug was too. Cat Noir probably would. Adrien certainly would. Marinette closed her eyes and let the tears come once more. </p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>“Ladybug’s done, isn’t she?” She asked. </p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>“For now... Ladybug’s on maternity leave.” Tikki agreed gently, eyes darting to the skylight and hoping Cat Noir took the hint to leave. </p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>He didn’t return. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>———— </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Alya had once told a child that she was babysitting that she was a unicorn. Marinette knew that was a lie... but only because Alya was clearly some kind of fairy god mother. Within a week she’d located a “nearly new” sale that met once a month, and given Marinette the information, as well as shown up with a giant bag of baby clothes. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Remember August Sinclair? He’s been akumatised a whole bunch of times, he’s got his own page on the Ladyblog and everything... anyway his mother recently had another baby - a little girl called May...” Marinette only knew that as she’d helped unstick her stroller but nodded all the same. “And she’s just outgrown her newborn stuff. Mrs Sinclair was happy to be rid of it.” Alya gushed. Marinette breathed a sigh of relief, having neither the time, the inclination, or the budget to make a whole line of baby clothes and dreading going out to the shops. What would the papers say if Adrien’s (unknowingly ex) girlfriend was seen buying baby clothing? </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Thank you, Alya.” She said appreciatively.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“What are friends for, huh?” Alya grinned, refusing to hand over  the heavy bag and lugging it upstairs herself rather than letting the pregnant woman do it. “How are you doing, girl?”</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Surviving.” Marinette answered as she followed her up the stairs: because really, what else was there to say? “I’m officially unenrolled from school.” She murmured dismally. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Nino mentioned he’d seen you leave the office.” Alya dropped the bag by Marinette’s desk.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“How are you going to fit a baby in here, Mari?” Queried the blogger, whirling around and eyeing the room suspiciously. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“If I move the work desk to under the bed and the vanity to under the window there should be room along that wall. I have a diagram and everything. The real question is how I’m going to sew without waking a baby.” She sighed. That wouldn’t be easy but she needed to keep sewing if she wanted to eat. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Alya hummed thoughtfully. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Baby monitor and you go work in the kitchen?” </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“They’re supposed to sleep in the same room as an adult... regulates their breathing or something.” Marinette murmured, wrapping her arms around herself. Google had been both helpful and daunting: babysitting had nothing on full time care of an infant. Maybe the kwamis could stay with the baby, regulate her breathing while she worked?</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Briefly she occasionally returned to the thought of giving the baby up for adoption but had decided that for many reasons it just wasn’t the right choice for her. Aside from the fact it meant living indoors for the rest of her pregnancy to hide it from the press, it was still a risk, still an emotional fete either way. It didn’t mean she was fantastically happy about keeping the baby though. Going it alone was going to be difficult but she wasn’t <em>alone</em> alone. She had friends and family around her. Friends... </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Hesitantly, Marinette asked the question she’d been debating asking since the moment Alya arrived: </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“How’s Adrien?” A week without seeing him hurt, the longest they’d been apart in months, even even before they’d dated they’d been close friends. Between losing his friendship and losing Cat Noir’s she felt a little lost. One night had ruined her entire life. A single butterfly. Refusing to cry again she looked at Alya who eyed her carefully. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“You really want to know?” </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Yes...” She asked slowly, what did that mean? One extreme or the other, she supposed? Either he was in a fit of rage and debating leaving the country forever, or he was already seeing someone else and blissfully happy to be rid of her and all her chaos. Neither seemed likely. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“He hasn’t left his room.” Alya told her, sitting down in the computer chair. “Hasn’t gone to class, he’s barely eating, doesn’t look like he’s slept... he’s not doing great.” Confessed the blogger, a wince forming on Marinette’s face at the admission. “Is it true that he asked you to marry him?” </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“More like he told me that was the plan.” Marinette laughed, shaking her head and sniffing a little. He was sweet. “He wasn’t thinking.” She said gently. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“You could do a lot worse than Adrien Agreste.” Alya pointed out. “You know he’s not mad at you, right?” She added gently. “It happened before you even got together he’s not jealous or angry or anything... he just misses you.” </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“I know but... he can’t take this on. It’s too much.” Marinette mumbled sadly. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Isn’t that for him to decide?” Alya said pointedly.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“No.” Marinette insisted, folding her arms. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Okay so... marrying you’s probably a bit much, but... he loves you. He’d love this kid. You love him too right? Why can’t you just... come up with a compromise?” Wondered her friend, hating to see them both so down. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Because it’s complicated. He already gives up enough for me... losing his space? His freedom? Being tied to someone else’s child? The press would be awful to him, to me - because let’s face it there’s gold digging and then there’s plain entrapment!” Marinette squeaked, looking a little helpless. Alya had to understand... right? Alya however, seemed to be frowning. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Marinette... just for a minute forget who he is to the rest of the world. Forget his status. Forget what other people say or think. Forget money - you’ve already got yourself a financial plan, I saw the binder, you wouldn’t be dependent on him. Just... ask yourself if you <em>want</em> him.” She said gently. Marinette waivered and closed her eyes, thinking. Forget Hawkmoth. Forget the mess with Cat Noir. Forget the baby. When her mind returned to Adrien there was no question there, of course she did. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Yes.” She admitted quietly. If none of the other stuff was going on she’d want him. But it was going on. She couldn’t pretend it wasn’t, could she? </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“And he wants you.” Alya said firmly. “The rest of it can fuck right off. Go talk to him.” </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>—————— </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>She had no clue what she was doing there, really. Nothing to offer, nothing to say that could make the situation okay. All she knew was that avoiding him for nine days had done her no good, and from what Alya and Nino had said, it wasn’t helping him either. So she held her breath and knocked only to receive no response. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Biting her lip she knocked again, the answering silence hitting hard. From their friend’s commentary: he was likely home... so he was deliberately not answering? Did he know it was her? How? He hadn’t hurt himself or anything ridiculous? She knocked louder, concern starting to mount. Oh now would be a terrible time for a panic attack. This time though, the door opened and a very bewildered, half dressed and soaking wet Adrien answered. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Sorry I was in the... Marinette... hi.” He whispered, tired eyes widening as he realised who was at his door. He could hardly believe that she was stood on his doorstep, having thought he’d lost her forever. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Didn’t mean to interrupt... shower?” She swallowed, trying not to follow a bead of water with her eyes as it carved a path down his chest towards his pyjama pants. <em>Stop getting distracted you’re supposed to be apologising </em>She thought to herself. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Yeah... sorry, I’ll put... hang on.” He closed the door slightly, vanishing inside and returning a moment later with his grey robe wrapped around him for decency. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Clearly they were both at a loss for what to say, spending a good minute just staring at each other in a heavy silence. Adrien wanted to blurt everything. The whole truth. But... she’d come to him. He wanted to hear what she had to say first. Apparently she didn’t have anything to say though, just shifting her weight from foot to foot anxiously. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Do you want to come in?” He asked her uncertainly. Nodding, Marinette followed him into the living room, swinging her purse against her knees a little as she rocked back and forth to quell the nerves. “Are you...” he began, trailing off before sighing softly in realisation: she must be here for her things. He closed his eyes and shook his head. “I’ll just go get it.” </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Get what?” She asked, confused. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“You... you left some things here I... I figured you were here for them?” He whispered, sounding resigned. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“I didn’t even realise I’d left anything.” Marinette admitted. He paused, not wanting to sound too hopeful. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Oh... then... you’re here...” he trailed off. <em>To talk to me?</em></p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“I’m here.” Was all she could say. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Again there was silence, each beat punctuated by a stab of pain for them both, neither of them used to being so uncomfortable around each other.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Coffee?” He offered eventually. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Can’t... apparently I’ve been way over my caffeine intake.” She mumbled miserably. Google had said not to have too much coffee, or fun of any sort really. Google was mean. “Hot chocolate would be okay though?” Marinette ventured, following him through to the kitchen as he began to make them both a drink. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Noting the plain black mugs, she bit her lip once more with nerves. That wasn’t a good sign.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“What happened to the mismatched ones?” She asked carefully, her usual pink and white one was absent. Had he thrown it out? Was he that desperate to be rid of her? Her eyes watered at the thought. He seemed to debate a comforting lie before settling on the truth. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Honest answer? I slammed the kitchen door and the cupboard collapsed.” Adrien admitted. “The crash was... oddly satisfying but I’m not proud of it.” He added quickly, embarrassment etched on his face. “And I will replace them, I swear.” </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Because of me?” Marinette murmured sadly. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“No. Because of everything. Because of what happened to you and your friend. Because it’s not fair. Because the apartment is quiet without you. Because I want to help but I don’t know how. Just... everything.” He clarified, turning to hand her the boring black mug. Because he wanted to tell her the truth but worried telling her would make the tense situation even worse. “How are you holding up?” He asked hesitantly. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Well I’ve not smashed anything, but I’ve definitely considered it.” She admitted, a little shyly. “Are you alright?” </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“No.” Adrien sat at the kitchen table, clinging to his own plain black mug with both hands like it was a life preserver. “I miss you.” He said softly. Another beat of silence. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“I miss you too.” Marinette agreed, a small look of relief from Adrien her reward. Somehow the knowledge that he wasn’t sure if she’d miss him spurred her on.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Taking a deep breath she decided to just go for it. She needed to apologise.  </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“I’m sorry I panicked. I... I pushed you away without considering... you were so quick to jump in with both feet and I hadn’t even decided what to do and I just figured you weren’t thinking things through and... I don’t <em>want</em> to get married or move in, Adrien that’s way, way too much, but... I was kind of... rash to end it, especially like that. I didn’t want you to feel trapped but I didn’t know if you wanted... dating a pregnant woman is a whole different thing! I just... I shouldn’t have been so blunt and I’m sorry.” She babbled, her hands shaking so much she had to set her mug down on the counter. Green eyes watched her warily. He wasn’t sure if he dared to hope. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Does this mean you want to get back together or...” He whispered. Marinette paused... that hadn’t actually been why she came over... she was just supposed to be clearing the air. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Is that what you want?” She asked carefully. She didn’t understand how he could still want her after everything. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Yes.” He didn’t hesitate. “Absolutely.” </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Even after I behaved so awfully?” Her uncertainty unnerved him. How could she not know he’d move heaven and earth to have her back? He stood up, moving slowly so she knew he was approaching, as her eyes were cast downward in embarrassment. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“You were in shock and you pulled away. That’s... pretty much the standard response. Marinette, you are the strongest person I know, and there isn’t a doubt in my mind that you <em>can</em> do this alone.” He stopped when his toes were against hers, standing in front of her. She looked up at him, shame obvious on her features. “But you don’t have to. I don’t <em>want</em> you to have to. I want to be part of this...” he paused to add the most painful part. “Whatever you decide.” </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“I’m keeping the baby.” She whispered, wondering if finally saying it out loud would cement the idea in her head. Adrien nodded, oddly relieved. “Does that make a difference?”</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Okay, so... you’re keeping the baby. It’s... Marinette I’m not even going to try sugarcoat it this is a fucking mess.” He said gently, raising his hand to cup her cheek tentatively. Marinette keened into the touch, nuzzling into his palm. “But you’re Marinette Dupain-Cheng. If anybody knows how to make the best of a bad situation it’s you.” The blush caused her cheek to heat in his hand and he smiled, he’d never tire of her reaction to genuine compliments. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“I’m kind of scared about the hard part, this isn’t an ideal scenario but I’m also... kind of looking forward to seeing the end results? Because if anyone’s coming through this test with flying colours it’s you. A baby in itself isn’t an awful thing, right? It’s...” </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“All the other stuff.” She agreed gently. “Alya told me to ignore all that and just ask myself what I wanted.” She paused. Time to tell as much truth as she was permitted. “I want you, Adrien.” She admitted.  </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>And there it was. How was he ever supposed to tell her the truth now? She’d made her decision. She wanted Adrien by her side, not Cat Noir. He swallowed hard. More silence then. More lies. But they’d have each other. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Adrien tipped her head gently upward and drew her in for a kiss. Marinette wasn’t the only one who melted under the kiss, both of them collapsing into each other with the weight of the exhausting week and a half that had lead to it. Never having thought it was possible to miss someone so much after such a brief period of time, Marinette threaded her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck, still damp from the shower. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“I want you too. Both of you.” He insisted when they stopped kissing for long enough to speak “We’ll figure the rest out as we go?” He suggested. She nodded.  “Together?” He whispered.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Together.” She agreed.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>A shaky sigh brushed her cheeks as Adrien let the day’s events catch up with him, deciding to just abandon his half finished hot chocolate. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Please can we go just... just lay down?” He asked her, exhausted. “It’s not a sex thing I just...” he began quickly. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Absolutely.” Marinette promised, completely understanding. Nine days without kissing. Nine days without cuddling. She wanted to be close to him too. Pausing and letting her fingers find the fabric of his robe, assessing his state of dress - he was wearing pyjama pants under the robe but no shirt.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Probably not too comfy to rest in this though...” she said gently, fiddling with his dressing gown’s collar. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“It’s fine it’s pretty thin.” He said cluelessly. Marinette gave him a gently mocking look. “Oh. You’re sure?” </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Mmhmm.” She took his hand, squeezing it gently. Adrien followed her into his bedroom. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>She climbed into the bed first, taking what was now considered by both of them to be her side, and watched him unabashedly as he shed the robe and clambered in beside her. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“We going to avoid talking about the elephant in the room for now then?” Adrien asked her, shuffling under the covers. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“I know there’s a bit of a bump but I’m not an elephant.” Marinette huffed, bursting into genuine giggles for the first time in days at Adrien’s subsequent worried expression, scared he’d made a faux pas. Lightly he tapped her nose when he realised she was joking. Calmly she moved into his arms, completely comfortable with the fact he was shirtless. He was warm and she could hear his heart beat.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>She felt safe with him, and wanted to trust her instincts on that. Of all the people Hawkmoth might target, Adrien had to be the lowest on the list, if the bastard did show up, in Adrien’s arms was probably the safest place in the world. She could have this, and she didn’t have to feel guilty about it - right? </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“It’s good to hear you laugh again.” He whispered, having to catch himself... he very nearly added ‘Bug’ to the end of that statement out of habit. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“I’m kind of tired of being sad all the time.” She confessed with a sigh. “It’s not very me and it’s exhausting. I’m not... I’m not happy about this.” She confessed. Was she supposed to be? Everyone else seemed to be coming round to the idea. “But I think... in a weird way... she’s put a bit of fight back in me? It feels more... acceptable to be in that angry, screaming, breaking stuff stage now.” Marinette sighed hoping that made sense. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Adrien paused, the loop of his arms tensing a little around her. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Hm? Not at you don’t worry. I mean... Hawkmoth better not cross me but I’m not going to attack people or anything.” Marinette reassured quickly, worried he was expecting to be punched again. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“No I... that’s good. The fighting thing is good. Just...” he swallowed. “<em>She</em>?” He’d forgotten Marinette had seen her baby - their baby - she’d had a scan, right? She was far enough to know? </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“A girl.” Marinette confirmed softly. Adrien’s hand slid from her hip, going to her abdomen but then drew back quickly. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Sorry, I...” he apologised, flushing. She tilted her head, considering it for a moment. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“It’s... it’s okay.” Marinette said carefully. “It’s you. You can touch.” She hadn’t touched the bump much, could barely bring herself to look at it, but if he wanted to... </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“You’re sure?” </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Yes.” She took his hand and lead it between them, his fingers brushing the slight swell. There really wasn’t much of a ‘bump’ to speak of, the papers had definitely been out of line in their assumption, he wouldn’t be able to tell if he hadn’t already known, but the small curve that was barely there was surprisingly firm. At nearly five months pregnant he had expected her to be bigger, but didn’t really know that many pregnant women to compare. Miss Bustier had had a baby a few years ago, he was sure she looked like she’d swallowed a basketball by the time she was about six months, but maybe his memory was playing tricks on him. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Still, barely there or not, Adrien was enraptured, unable to tell Marinette that the baby was his for fear of scaring her off, but fascinated that his daughter was forming beneath his hand. He’d had absolutely no say in her creation, but then Marinette had been on the pill so she hadn’t either... Adrien kissed her cheek. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“My heart isn’t racing.” Marinette whispered, surprised. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Uh... sorry?” He asked, shifting to kiss her lips with a little more enthusiasm than he’d offered her cheek but she snickered into the affectionate moment. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Not what I meant!” She returned it all the same, one of her own hands wrapping around his bare shoulders to draw him closer and the other sliding down her own body and tugging her shirt up slightly. Adrien yanked away from the kiss, confused and thinking he’d accidentally shifted the fabric during the kiss, but Marinette seemed remarkably calm, stopping the rising material just below the curve of her breasts, leaving her stomach and ribs exposed.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“I mean I’m not scared.” Marinette said gently. “Not of this I mean... it’s... if the list was catered to pregnant women this would probably be on it.” She explained, blushing. Not a sex thing, but an intimacy thing. Slowly, Adrien’s fingertips brushed her ribs sliding lower until his palm covered her bare abdomen, he didn’t kiss her again, this time watching his hand over her skin in awe. “Thank you for asking for a female doctor the other day. It really helped. Thank you for... for understanding.” She added gently. Verbal reassurance. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“I love you.” He said gently, then raised his gaze to her eyes. “I love you too.” His addition clarified that he’d been talking to the bump the first time and Marinette’s eyes widened a little. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“You’re sure? It’s a big ask...” she said, confused. How could Adrien possibly love her child already? She didn’t. Was she broken? </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“It really isn’t.” He told her. “I know things are... complicated with her father,” <em>understatement of the century </em>“but... as far as I’m concerned she’s yours, so she’s mine, and I’ll love her like she is.” He told her confidently. Marinette lay her forehead against his shoulder, kissing his collarbone.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>She didn’t want to admit to Adrien that she was worried about that, terrified she wouldn’t be able to look her child in the eye, he’d think her awful. Knowing (and completely believing) that Adrien would was soothing. If she couldn’t steel herself to handle it, at least someone else in this world would love her daughter. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Thank you.” She whispered.</p>
  </div>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next chapter might be my favourite in the whole story: next time, Ladybug gets brave and Marinette gets braver.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>You know what we’ve not had in a while... Ladynoir. Have some.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is probably my favourite chapter ever. You want cuteness? You got it!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div>
  <p>Cat Noir still patrolled when he could, though at this point it was largely performative, a show of protection for the city of Paris. He hadn’t anticipated running into Marinette and Alya, the blogger dragging her pregnant friend over to see the hero. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Cat Noir! I’ve been hoping to run into you!” Alya gushed, clearly excited. Cat Noir glanced at Marinette, unsurprised to see her looking pale and tense - nervous around him in a way he rarely saw as Adrien these days. He knew he had to leave. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette was wary, at a loss of where to look. She hadn’t looked Cat Noir in the eyes in a long time... but if he had no clue who she was... she drew her gaze upward and tried to remain calm. She didn’t balk. Surprisingly there was no awkwardness. Just her partner, protecting the city as he always had. All these months without a super villain and he was still keeping the streets safe. She felt a flush of pride. He was a good man, through and through. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Alya, Marinette.” Cat Noir said curtly. “I’m a little busy, what did you want to talk about?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Busy?” Marinette asked, a note of concern in her voice. What was he busy with? Oops... Cat Noir hadn’t meant to make her believe there was a problem, but he brushed it off with a smile. Her face said she wasn’t about to drop it though. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I was hoping to get an interview.” Alya began rooting through her bag, pulling out a dictaphone. “I can make it quick? I was just hoping for an explanation about Hawkmoth and Ladybug’s absences? A statement?” She pleaded, hitting the red button. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>A quick glance at Marinette and Cat Noir shook his head as he turned his attention back to Alya. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Sorry, that’s Ladybug’s business not mine.” He said firmly, refusing to cross the boundary and speak for her - especially when she was stood right there. “Hawkmoth however, you can quote me on saying he can go fuck himself.” He grinned and thought he saw Marinette smirk at the soundbite. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah, I can’t print that.” Alya complained, stomping her foot. “C’mon Cat Noir, people want the truth.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“The truth is I’m chasing a lead so... nice to see you ladies, but I have to run.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Cat Noir.” Marinette said suddenly, as his baton hit the ground. He looked back, half anticipating a gushing confession, or for her to demand answers on his lead. Instead she said: “Thank you... for protecting Paris.” There was a heaviness in her voice, a resigned note. He saluted, sending her a gentle smile before taking off. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I... I think I’m going to head home.” Marinette told a very miserable looking Alya as she put her dictaphone back in her handbag. “I’m feeling a little queasy.” She lied. She didn’t feel queasy at all, in fact she’d still not had any signs of sickness or pregnancy symptoms at all, but she was a tad nervous. If Cat Noir was chasing a lead...</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Want me to walk you back?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m two minutes away and it’s not even properly dark yet. I’m good.” She promised her friend, kissing her cheek and scurrying off. Once she was safely out of sight she ducked down an alleyway and opened her purse. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Tikki... can you hide the baby bump with my suit?” She wondered: a pregnant Ladybug would definitely raise eyebrows and it wasn’t a risk she could afford to take. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes and no... I can redesign your costume so it covers it, but I can’t make it invisible. Why... what are you thinking?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“That it’d be rude not to help him chase a lead.” Marinette said gently. “I can’t tell him I’m pregnant. I can’t tell him what happened. I... I can try being his friend again though? Right?” She suggested. She missed her friend, and the guilt weighed heavily on her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You think you’re ready?” Worried her kwami. Marinette hesitated: being around him just then hadn’t seemed too scary.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Only one way to find out.” Marinette took a deep breath. “Tikki, spots on.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ladybug wished she had a mirror. Aside from the physical sensation of her ponytail dividing into her trademark twin tails, the costume adjustments were hard to take in without a proper visual. A twirl of her yo yo and she was flying through the air again - her new outfit wasn’t quite as aerodynamic, and flapped around a little, but without supervillains to tackle she supposed she wouldn’t need the super speed. She stopped briefly in front of a shop window to examine her new clothes. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Tikki had outdone herself. A hooded shawl covered her shoulders, red and black with furry black edging, the front of it covered her chest, disguising the fact she’d gone up a couple of cup sizes. A black corset style bodice wrapped around her waist, flaring out before the beginning swell of the bump, into a red and black skirt over her usual skin tight suit. Ladybug grinned, clearly her design skills had rubbed off on her kwami. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Now... where would Cat Noir be? If he was chasing a lead rather than a villain (and despite avoiding Alya, he hadn’t seemed in a great hurry so she doubted he was chasing a criminal) he was likely trying to track Hawkmoth, something she definitely agreed with. And if she wanted answers on Hawkmoth... the Agreste mansion would be her first port of call. Waving casually at a group of passersby who had spotted her and were excited to see the now elusive heroine, she took off again, heading toward the manor. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She knew from what Adrien had said (he’d taken charge of the electricity bills so he could check the cctv regularly) that the place had been abandoned since Gabriel and Nathalie had taken off, so the fact a downstairs light turned on as she approached indicated Cat Noir just plain didn’t care if people saw him sneaking around in there. He had cataclysmed the security cameras though, she noted. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Launching herself over the wall and landing on the lawns she realised how much she’d missed the sensation. Ladybug didn’t know what exactly had changed, she certainly didn’t intend to get up close and personal with him - but her fears were more rational now, or at least it seemed that way. Cat Noir was... well, a pussycat. Fearing sex and fearing Cat Noir weren’t the same thing, right? She heard smashing noises and readied her yo yo, prepared to attack if he was fighting Hawkmoth. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Peering in through the window of a music room, she saw Cat Noir casually destroying ornaments. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What, you’re a cat burglar now?” She asked calmly, leaning against the open window - upon closer inspection he’d cataclysmed the lock. Cat Noir span on his heel, staring at her in feigned shock. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ladybug... you’re out...” he gawped as she hoisted herself up in through the window and he acknowledged her get up. Clever design work hiding the small bump he knew would have been more prominent in her old skin tight costume.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Heard a disturbance and thought I’d check it out.” Ladybug hummed, sliding her hands behind her back and examining the destruction in the room. “Any particular reason you’re smashing the place up?” She didn’t sound as though she was judging him, and he noted she kept a physical distance between them that he knew he needed to respect. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ever just... want to shout and break stuff?” He suggested, shrugging. “Why break my own things when I can break his?” With a calm bat of one paw, he flicked a glass award from the top of a piano, watching it shatter on the marble floor. There was something oddly satisfying about the crash.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You know that’s not very superhero-like?” She chided, smirking. The room held a lot of breakable objects, probably expensive or highly valued. Not exactly cheaper than therapy but still: a plan was a plan. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“True...” he hummed. “But if you’re here you can fix it and <em>technically</em> I’ve committed no crime.” He grinned. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ladybug threw her yo yo in the air, watching the disc spin above her head with delight. She’d missed this. The surge of power, the soft sparkle of magic.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Lucky charm!” A small, red and black spotted stuffed bear appeared in her hands. <em>Very funny, Tikki</em>. She immediately tossed it to test his theory. “Miraculous Ladybug!” Sure enough the room righted itself, the few objects that had met Cat Noir’s wrath putting themselves back together in mid air and returning to their places of pride such as the mantel, the desk and the piano. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Bad night?” She asked, strolling around the piano with practised neutrality. Cat Noir watched her walk, mindful of the way she held herself, reserved and certainly a little cautious: but largely unafraid. She was coming back to herself again he realised, giddy. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Getting better.” He said honestly, watching as she considered the glass award he’d previously smashed and then - with an impressive display of grace for a woman half way through her pregnancy, swung a kick and knocked it flying, smashing against a wall. “You too?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Bad few months... but getting better.” She agreed with a grin. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>While he hadn’t anticipated her tagging along tonight, Cat Noir knew how much Ladybug needed this, and had come up with the idea the moment he had realised she was intending to follow him... she wasn’t as fast as she had been a few months ago. Technically with his father MIA, he basically owned everything in here (the legal term was that he’d been given agency over his possessions) and as she could fix it again there was no harm done. Plagg and Tikki couldn’t be mad about them using their powers for their own purposes because it was certainly cathartic and they needed to stay in shape mentally too. It was no different to sparring with each other, really. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Helps if you imagine it’s his face.” Cat Noir told her as she swung a punch at the butterfly symbol etched into a plant pot. He hated himself for ignoring all of those and relished in it cracking beneath her fist.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It really does.” She laughed, relieved. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Atta girl!” He laughed, joining in, slamming his foot into the piano and causing a cacophony.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“The neighbors are going to call the police on us.” She giggled, freed in the mindless destruction. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“They never called the police on Hawkmoth.” He pointed out. She hummed agreement before staring up at the ceiling and letting out an angry bellow, before smashing the chandelier with her yo yo. The room was plunged into darkness as rained down on them like glitter, unable to harm them in their suits. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Half an hour later and the room was in tatters, Gabriel’s possessions smashed, cataclysmed or embedded in walls. The only thing left untouched (in an unspoken show of respect) was a framed photograph of Emilie Agreste. They wound down sitting opposite each other in the bay window, not touching, but still close enough to converse easily. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Feel better for that?” He asked her, disguising the fact he was looking at her reflection in the only remaining panel of glass in the window by pretending to be looking out over the darkened lawns. Ladybug examined the chaos in the room, her voice was hoarse from shouting and screaming. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Surprisingly yes. It was... petty and stupid, and in the long run it makes no difference but... yes.” She smiled. “You?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hm... it was fun.” He said softly, twiddling a piece of broken porcelain (that had once been part of a vase) in between his claws. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“How’s the girlfriend?” Asked Ladybug. Cat Noir detected no jealousy in her tone, only genuine friendly curiosity. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Do you really want to know?” He wondered. They’d smashed the lights and ripped them from their sconces, but the moonlight from the frame of the bay window was enough for them both to see each other clearly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes.” The soft smile she gave him said it was okay, that Cat Noir wasn’t accidentally seducing his own girlfriend, that Marinette had no intentions of straying and wasn’t jealous.  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She’s amazing.” He told her truthfully. “I fall more in love with her every single time I see her.” It was true, and the best he could tell her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Looking back he wondered how he could have ever called what he’d first felt for Ladybug love, when (knowing what he knew now) he’d barely known her. And yet it had been true, then and now. Learning more about her every day served to prove it further until it swelled into something unrecognisable from those early days, but still very much love.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Cat Noir’s admission calmed her. He was happy. She certainly knew the feeling well enough, and was grateful he had that in his life. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Good.” She said gently. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“So are you... back or...?” If he was totally honest with himself, he wasn’t entirely sure he was comfortable with his pregnant girlfriend fighting crime but he supposed it wasn’t his call to make. He was just glad to see her out and about, happy to see her smile. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Probably not. You know it wasn’t... it wasn’t about me being jealous. That was just an easier thing to focus on, I guess...” She said carefully. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah, I figured that out after you yelled at me.” Cat Noir hummed. “I assumed you had something big going on in your other life? Something you couldn’t tell me without blowing our covers?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah.” She agreed, going with that. Technically it was sort of true.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s... complicated. I really wish I could tell you more, there’s things I... I could really use your help with but... I can’t.” She’d never sounded more sincere, the pain evident in her voice. “Not until Hawkmoth is behind bars so... I carry on. I’ll be at the other end of the cat toy if you really need me.” He could tell how carefully her words were chosen, that she was trying to apologise for excluding him without telling him what it was she was keeping from him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You have other people though right? To help you with... I don’t know, your sick family member or your evil boss or whatever?” He asked softly, delighted in the fond smile that crossed her moonlit face.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I do.” She confirmed. “I have the best friends in the world, a very supportive family, and a fantastic boyfriend who puts up with all my crazy.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Boyfriend? Miaow! Go Ladybug!” He cheered. She laughed and shook her head. She’d missed this. Months apart and the casual ease of their friendship was as strong as it ever had been. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What’s he like?” Cat Noir asked, curiosity getting the better of him. Ladybug hummed and lost herself in thought, her smile didn’t fade.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’d like him.” She said eventually, and he chose to take that as a compliment. “He’s a good man, probably better than I deserve. He’s kind, patient, sweet... Unbelievably sexy.” She added with a small smirk. He was glad the dark hid his blush, fairly certain he’d give himself away. He cleared his throat. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah, yeah, that’s all well and good Bug, but is he funny, we all know that’s the important thing.” Cat Noir teased. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes.” Ladybug laughed. She took a deep breath and stared out over the lawns, blue in the moonlight. “I should head back to him.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>If he realised she was a little slower to climb to her feet than she had once been, he chose not to comment on it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It was good to see you, Bug.” Cat Noir said softly, joining her on his feet, they’d need to be outside for her to repair the window.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You too. Thanks for tonight, kitty, I really needed it.” She said, summoning her lucky charm - with both of them pretending not to notice it was another soft toy. Clearly she had the baby on her mind. The window was easy enough for him to navigate, but took her a split second longer to clear. He probably wouldn’t notice if he hadn’t already known, her movements as Marinette didn’t seem particularly slowed but he hadn’t seen Ladybug in action in months. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Miraculous Ladybug!” The flurry of ladybugs righted their wrongs, easing her conscience as she worried that Adrien might not approve of her smashing up his father’s house, but then again... he’d probably like to smash a few things too. Regardless, it was fixed. “Miaow if you need me, chaton.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I will.” He bowed deeply. “Are we good?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We’re good.” She promised, readying her yo yo and hesitating. “I really missed you, Cat Noir. Thanks for still being my friend.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’d take a lot more than that to break us, My Lady.” He swore. She quirked an eyebrow. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh I’m your lady again am I?” She snorted, hand settling on her hip. He hadn’t meant to say it, it had just sort of slipped out, but he smiled all the same. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Always. In a strictly platonic sense, obviously.” He winked at her and she paused again, before gently tapping him on the shoulder by way of goodbye. The motion was quick, on her own terms, and he could tell it made her nervous but it was more than he’d expected so he grinned all the same, waving her off as she disappeared over the wall. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Then he did a double take. If she was going to go see her boyfriend he had to get home quickly. Oops? </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>—————— </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We should get you your own key.” Adrien said as he let her in. Having got back to his apartment as quickly as possible but setting off after her, he’d expected to find her on the doorstep - but she hadn’t been there. He’d ventured inside, checking his phone and hoping he hadn’t missed her but when no evidence emerged that she’d visited he assumed she’d been playing coy with Cat Noir and that he’d see her tomorrow as planned. And then she’d knocked. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ooh that seems like an invite.” Marinette grinned, stepping inside. He realised she must have gone home to change clothes, her attire different from the outfit she’d been wearing when he’d run into her with Alya earlier in the evening. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well you’ve always got an invitation here so... is a key okay? Not too fast?” He wondered. He was still more than happy for her to move in, but she’d reacted badly to being rushed - he wasn’t going to push the issue. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“A key sounds good.” She smiled, calm. He eyed the bag in her hand. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Staying over?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“If that’s okay?” She wondered. “If not I can just stop for a couple of hours and go home.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re always welcome to stay.” Adrien insisted, going to take the bag from her but she pulled it back, holding it close. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Actually I was thinking we could maybe take a bath?” He watched her bite her lip - taking a moment to observe her behaviour... excited, not nervous, so he nodded. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’ll go start the water.” He kissed her cheekbone. “Your robe’s in the bedroom.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh that’s what I left here!” She realised, making for the bedroom door. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“That, your hairbrush, some hair ties, and one of your sketchbooks. All still about.” He promised her, calling from his way to the bathroom. If she replied he didn’t hear it over the thundering roar of the hot tap, steam filling the room as the bath started to fill. She returned in her fluffy pink robe, presumably hiding her swimsuit. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I can’t have it too hot,” she warned him “apparently it’s bad for baby.” Google was a godsend. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We can cool it down a bit.” Adrien promised, setting his hands on her hips through the fabric. “You seem cheery.” He commented, hoping it was a fair observation. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hm... good night. I’ll tell you about it after you change.” She nudged him in the shoulder to shoo him, earning a laugh before taking over the temperature of the bath. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Only when the tub was as full as it could get before they’d risk flooding the bathroom by getting in did Marinette stall the taps and test the water with her hand. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“If you’re not comfortable with this we don’t have to...” he pointed out, closing the door behind him as he came in. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m... feeling a bit more like myself. I don’t want to jump from zero to one hundred, I’m still a bit... tense at the idea of being touched, and I’m wary of actually doing anything for you in case I panic half way and leave things uhm... unfinished... but I <em>definitely</em> want to try this again.” She explained, standing up. With a flick of her wrist she dropped the robe. Adrien wasn’t sure if he was allowed to ogle, but he physically couldn’t stop himself staring. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The black two piece swimsuit showed a lot more of her skin than he was used to, covering the essentials but leaving everything else bare to view. Scanning previously unseen skin, from silky thighs to her collarbone, he realised this wasn’t the first time he’d seen her undressed but the first time she’d willingly showed him as Adrien, and the first time he’d recall.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The bump was clearer when she was naked there, a small, barely there curve that sat above the waistband of her bikini bottoms. She didn’t fold her arms or try to hide away, offering only a shy shrug. Trying very hard not to focus on how that movement caused certain things to jiggle a little (oh god he should <em>not</em> be staring at her breasts) he quickly drew his gaze back to her face. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re beautiful.” He told her, nothing insincere in the breathiness of his voice. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>After another moment of silence, she smiled. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You plan on standing there staring or are you going to join in?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Both?” He suggested, but tugged the belt of his own robe and willed his body to behave it’s damned self as he hung it, and her fallen one, on the hook on the back of the door. “Me first?” He wondered, mentally playing Tetris with the idea of how to make it work. She seemed to have no such reservations though: her plan solidified in her head. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Mmhmm.” He climbed in and sat down, the water level rising to his hips, and moments later she joined him, settling herself between his thighs, with her back against his chest. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>While this was listed as non-sexual intimacy, there was definitely an undercurrent of sexual tension in being effectively naked, under warm water and pressed together. He worried that if he got hard now he’d petrify her, but she sighed softly, seemingly content. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Water’s nice, I was worried it would be too cold.” She murmured, leaning her head back against his shoulder. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Y... yeah.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Relax, Adrien.” She soothed, stroking his calf and closing her eyes. The touch did not help his situation - his mind helpfully supplying a mental image of her hand wandering further up. His cock twitched against the small of her back and he began to seriously worry. “This is supposed to be fun for both of us.” She reminded him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Trying not to scare you off.” He confessed, blushing and trying to shift his hips backward a little but meeting the wall of the tub. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I guarantee you there’s nothing going through your mind that isn’t already going through mine.” She whispered. “But that’s a conversation for later. This is just about... being comfortable around each other. Try not to freak out about freaking me out because then I’ll freak out.” She laughed. Cautiously he relaxed against her, and she seemed to breathe a little easier. “I actually do have something to talk to you about.” She said softly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“My...” he very nearly said Lady. Fuck. “Love, are you distracting me with boobs in order to have an uncomfortable conversation? That’s very sneaky.” If she noticed his slip up she didn’t address it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Wasn’t my intention... but yes, a little.” She laughed. “I saw her father today.” She hummed carefully. Adrien, of course, knew that, but he hadn’t actually expected her to tell him. Perhaps so used to lying about his life as Cat Noir, he’d expected her to stay tight lipped on all things Ladybug - but she hadn’t been Ladybug since he’d learned her identity. Not until tonight. Her honesty was a testament to how much she trusted Adrien, and he daren’t breach that, as guilty as he felt, by admitting he was Cat Noir. It would set them back months, if they even recovered from it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“How’d that go?” He asked gently, trying to ignore the way his stomach knotted at lying to her when she was being so open and honest. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I didn’t tell him about her. I wanted to but... I couldn’t. There’s a whole bunch of complications.” She sighed. For lack of anywhere to settle his hands, Adrien moved them to her shoulders, and when she didn’t tense he rubbed gently. “But it was nice to see him again. Not in a romantic way.” She clarified quickly, in case he worried she was still carrying a torch.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I trust you.” He promised, circling his thumbs. She hummed into the touch. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I think it helped remind me that... I’m not scared of him.” Marinette admitted, causing Adrien to breathe a sigh of relief. “Everything’s kind of messed up but... he’ll be okay. And hopefully one day he can meet her and things won’t be too weird... I hope he’ll understand that for now this is just... how the situation has to be... and I’ll handle it. Not being afraid of him is half the battle.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien continued rubbing his thumbs in small circles to ease the tension in her neck and across her back as she spoke, she didn’t flinch or react at all. He kissed the tip of her shoulder gently. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“That’s good then. You two were close friends, right?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We were. I’ll work on that.” She paused. “You’d like him.” Adrien tried not to laugh, burying his nose in her neck to stifle it. It was the second time she’d told him that tonight, after all. High praise indeed. “It also helped me realise I’m... I’m not afraid of you.” She breathed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You... thought you were?” He asked carefully. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“A little. It’s more...” she chewed her lip and lost herself in trying to figure out the phrasing. “I went too fast and I’m still paying for it. One bad choice and I’m going to spend my whole life paying for it... But that’s... that’s a whole different thing, right? Being in love doesn’t have to mean everything crashing and burning and I’m not... if we can get through this...” she jabbed a finger at her abdomen “we can get through anything. I’m not scared that it’s not real, I’m not scared that you’re just going to vanish if things get real, because... it doesn’t get realer than this.” She explained. “Does that make sense?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes.” He kissed her shoulder again. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.” He swore. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Having spoken her mind, Marinette relaxed once more, her breath falling into sync with his as his arms wrapped around her waist. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I love you.” He murmured. “And I know me asking to get married was dumb and reactionary but, for the record, I intend to ask you again someday.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We’ve only been dating for a few months.” She chided.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I know.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p><em>And we’ve been in love for years, and we’re partners, and we have faced more than most couples do in twenty years </em>he thought... but he couldn’t tell her that</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“But you’re it for me, <em>the one</em>. I know that. It’s fine if you don’t feel the same yet, I’m not trying to come on too strong or whatever... but when I tell you I’m not going anywhere I mean it. I’m yours for as long as you’ll have me.” He insisted, telling her what truth he could. There was a pause and then a sudden splash as Marinette spun around in his arms. The new position set them chest to chest, and any hope Adrien had of not physically reacting to her near nudity died in the water. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re weird.” She concluded, smiling. “I love you.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The kiss she offered was far from chaste, but brave and bold: and if he was honest with himself, a lot more like how he’d imagined Ladybug would kiss than Marinette. Not that he minded, they were one and the same in his brain now, not that his brain was really functioning. A sudden glug noise indicated she’d kicked the plug loose, either intentionally or by accident, and the water began to drain away.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>It ought to have left him cold, but with her pressed against him he could only feel a blossom of warmth spreading from his chest downward. The loss of her lips against his was dizzying, but the smile she gave him when she broke away grounded him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I have a plan.” She told him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hm?” Adrien had forgotten how to form words, a bit bewildered by the situation. His touch-phobic girlfriend was soaking wet, practically naked and straddling him, he was fairly certain he didn’t know his own name.  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“For tonight. If you’re willing to experiment with the list a little?” She pulled away, holding on to the sides of the bath for balance before standing up and climbing out of the drained tub. She grabbed a towel and threw him one. “Did I break you?” She wondered when he didn’t move. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes.” He managed, standing up and hurriedly hiding his arousal with the towel. Not quickly enough, but there was no way she hadn’t realised he was hard prior to that moment - she’d been on top of him!</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Still unsure what was happening, he followed her through to the bedroom, where she fetched her pyjamas from her bag, and pulled a pair of pyjama pants from his drawer, offering them to him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Do I get to know this plan of yours?” He asked, confused. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No. Talking it through sounds like homework and doesn’t give me an out if I can’t manage it.” Marinette said sensibly, in full planning mode. “Get dried and dressed and then we’re going to cuddle, okay.” She added gently, leaving the room again, presumably to go get dressed in privacy.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien was a little confused - she hadn’t given him a shirt so he assumed he was supposed to be shirtless and that she wouldn’t mind, but they’d done that before and he had no clue why she’d need to plan it. Her statement about wanting an out if she couldn’t handle it suggested she planned for something a little further... his body still very keen on that plan. He wished it would calm down, aside from the fact it wasn’t very comfortable, he hated the feeling that he was pushing her into something. That maybe she was trying to apologise for breaking up with him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Then again she had been more confident all round tonight... and she hadn’t minded in the bath tub. Maybe seeing Cat Noir on her own terms had been good for her? Trusting that Marinette either knew her limits or was prepared to figure them out as she went, he climbed into bed and waited for her, straining his ears a little he was pretty certain the vague murmur of voices indicated she was having a whispered conversation with Tikki in the next room. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>List in hand, Marinette returned, setting it on the bedside table before clambering in beside him clad in a white tank top and black leggings. The tips of her hair were a little damp from where they’d got caught in the water, but largely her hair was fanned out around her shoulders: down. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hi.” She said gently, teeth catching her plump bottom lip. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hi.” He whispered back, innocently confused but not at all concerned as Marinette biting her lip had become associated with two things: nerves and arousal... he was pretty sure this was the latter. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m not ready to have sex.” She told him plainly. He nodded. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Didn’t think you were.” He confirmed. “Making out and sleeping?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Not tonight. Just... listen.” Marinette said, nudging him on to his back. Happy to be manhandled he moved into the position she indicated as she cuddled into his side, her head on his bare chest. “I’m not ready to have sex, but I will be. Hopefully soon or I’m going to get way too big for it to be comfortable.” She joked, easing her own sense of doubt. That was a whole other thing to worry about. “But I have... thought about it. A lot.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien suddenly realised where this conversation was going: at least one of the unchecked items on their list. He swallowed and Marinette smiled, knowing he’d figured it out. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ideal first time... we’d have been talking music, probably something you played on the piano and recorded beforehand. I love hearing you play and I know you’ve got recordings on your phone so... that was available. Candles. Like... a  fire hazard number of candles. Everywhere.” She said gently. Her fantasy was not so much arousing as sweet, and he cupped her face while she spoke, with her dropping kisses on his palm between sentences. He wished she’d been allowed that for her first time. Hell, he wished he had. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Sounds perfect.” He told her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Mmhmm. No panic attacks, no morning sickness - oh you didn’t give me food poisoning by the way.” She smiled. He laughed, this was <em>not</em> working, his erection actually flagging, but he loved hearing her talk so calmly, offering a brush of his thumb along her cheekbone. “Just you and me, the way it was supposed to be in London.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I did wonder why your bag clinked. You brought candles.” He realised. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Electric ones, I thought the hotel would throw us out!” Marinette’s laugh rippled through them both, she tilted her head back down to his chest. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“But that’s not how London went.” She reminded him softly. “Doesn’t mean I’ve stopped thinking about it. The whole thing... killed my confidence not my sex drive and you... you’ve been unbelievably patient.” Marinette purred, and Adrien had the sudden feeling he was in trouble. “So I’m guessing you’ve thought about it too?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“...whatever I say here will be wrong.” He admitted nervously. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Okay.” She laughed. “Fine, play it that way. But I’ve thought about you thinking about it.” She continued, brushing her hair behind her ear and still talking to his chest. He could feel her skin flushing. “I’ve thought about what you look like when...” she was struggling, out of her comfort zone. He didn’t want to push her.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Mari, you don’t have to...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Shush,” she insisted, amused “I’m trying here.” He vowed not to interrupt, kissing the top of her head as it was all he could reach now. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’ve thought about what you look like.” Marinette continued. “Probably the Adrien equivalent of what I look like when I’m... <em>thinking about it</em>.” Her analogy was clumsy, and he didn’t point out the awkwardness of it. Thinking about it = masturbating. He was actually fairly pleased she wasn’t trying to do the whole dirty talk thing, that would probably be more awkward. “Hair a mess, back arched, cheeks pink, bottom lip red from biting it?” She guessed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I... I don’t generally look at myself.” He admitted.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hmmm, you should, you’re gorgeous.” Marinette hummed, kissing his chest and lingering in her motion.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’ve thought about this.” She continued, offering another kiss, this time her tongue flicked lightly against his bare skin. “What you’d taste like and not just... here.” She whispered, kissing his bare chest again, a tiny amount of suction - not enough to leave a hickey, she knew he had to work. “That’s not... that’s not something I’ve done. So... it’d be a first for me.” She told him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien swallowed hard, because that was a mental image he couldn’t shake. Marinette wanted to give him a blow job. Fuck. His cock twitched against her knee, the way her head rested on his chest the movement was fully in her line of sight.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I know you’d be gentle. Because you’re you, you’d probably feel a bit guilty too... at first.” The final two words of her sentence were a threat of what was to come and he knew it - she was enjoying the effect she was having on him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“So I’m telling you now, before anything like that happens... it’s something I <em>want</em> to do. You don’t have to feel guilty. I didn’t... I didn’t touch myself after, for weeks I just... I felt dirty, like I was doing something wrong in letting myself think that way.” Adrien worried she was veering down a dark path - he didn’t want to be half hard while she was divulging something so personal, but she kissed his chest once more and continued undeterred. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“But it was the first day I slept over, the day I turned you on by accident. It was that thought that... helped me the first time I did. I got myself off thinking about doing that for you. About making <em>you</em> feel good. Definitely not something you’ll need to feel guilty over.” She promised him softly. “So that’s high on my list... getting on my knees for you. Nobody ever has for you before, right?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“N...no.” He confirmed, cursing the confusing sensation of being turned on and trying not to be turned on. If it wasn’t something she’d done, it wasn’t something he’d done either. A first for him too. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Then it’ll be an experience for both of us, when I’m ready.” She said gently. “Honestly the only thing that’s stopping me right... this... second.” Her voice was changing, a little higher and breathier, sending shocks down his spine. She was turned on. “Is the worry that I’m not quite ready and I’ll get half way through and change my mind. I want to be totally sure, and I want to make sure it ends well, so I don’t panic about leaving you wanting.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“So you can be confident that when I do go down on you, I’m completely sure.” She reassured him. “That it will end with me...” Marinette paused. “Getting to see what you look like when you finish. Getting to taste you for the first time.” Oh there was nothing half hearted about his erection now, pressing against her thigh as she shifted her leg a little to wrap around his own. “I’d even wear my pigtails again, if you wanted. And if you’re too innocent to know what to do with them I’ll show you some videos.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Marinette!” He laughed, both painfully aroused at the mental picture and mildly offended. She giggled. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh shut up, you know you’ve thought about it.” She teased. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No comment!” He protested, huffing a laugh and staring at the ceiling.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He loved her. He absolutely loved her. There was never any doubt of that, he knew, but hearing her talking, the proof that she did want him too, it eased his mind. He’d wait forever if she wanted, he’d completely understand, but here she was making the effort for both of their sakes. It was a comfort. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“So now you have something to think about, next time you <em>think about it.</em>” She whispered, pressing another slow and dirty kiss to his chest. “Only thing left to ask is if you’d like to... think about it right now?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien paused. Oh. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You want me to...” he whispered, choking on the words. It was on the list but <em>fuck</em> he had not been  anticipating that. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I told you, I’ve no intention of leaving you half finished... if you want to... deal with that...” her head nodded against his chest and he became very conscious of the fact that Marinette was staring at his tented pyjama pants. “If you’d feel self conscious with me watching that’s fine, I can leave the room but I’m happy to either stay, or go... I don’t know, make hot chocolate and watch tv or something while you handle it.” She hesitated and then cringed. “Pun not intended.” She giggled and perhaps it was the joke, or how light her voice still was... he wasn’t sure. Either way it wasn’t the worst idea in the world. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Which would you prefer?” He asked carefully. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I told you... I’ve wondered what you look like when you’re thinking of me. I’d like to stay.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien hummed. He wasn’t entirely sure how he felt about being watched. He’d been watched before after all, but this was Marinette: it was a whole different thing, right? He nodded slowly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Okay.” He agreed. If she left she’d know exactly what he was doing anyway, at this point a cold shower just felt cruel - especially when she’d intended for him to be sated, rather than frustrated.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Do... do you want me to talk you through it or...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No, trust me talking sexy is hard. I can’t even say the word for it without stuttering!” She laughed, leaning away slightly so she could see his face. “Just... do whatever you usually do and if it gets too weird you can just ask me to leave, I won’t be offended.” She promised, propping herself up on her elbow. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Conscious of her gaze on him, he took a deep breath. Why was the idea of touching her so much easier than the idea of touching himself? It wasn’t like he was a stranger to the task, he was nearly twenty and if he was completely honest with himself thoughts of her in both her aliases had crossed his mind over the years when... <em>thinking about it</em>. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Still. Awkwardness aside, the pressure really was starting to get uncomfortable. Foregoing any lingering doubts, he gripped himself through the thin fabric of his pyjamas, stroking his shaft and avoiding her gaze by closing his eyes. Even without looking at her - knowing she was watching him had an effect, his cock throbbing at the thought of her eyeing him with fascinated curiosity like she was trying to figure out her lucky charm.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He ran his fingertips from head to base and back again, the fabric dampening under his actions. Years of being Cat Noir had honed his hearing, and having his eyes closed only heightened the change of pace in Marinette’s shallow breathing beside him. Opening his eyes to make sure she wasn’t panicking, he was relieved to see that wasn’t the case. Her eyes were wide, but that only served to show how dilated her pupils were, cheeks flushed and her bottom lip red, caught between her teeth as she watched his hand...</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Which sped up automatically, gripping himself in earnest. She wasn’t enjoying herself in quite the same way he was, sure, but she wanted this too and that was thrilling all on its own. The damp fabric was starting to graze on him though, rubbing uncomfortably with every stroke. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Can I take these down?” He groaned, not wanting to startle her with sudden nudity.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Please.” She whispered, the skin on his shoulder suddenly burning where she placed a delicate kiss before returning to her station at a close distance. With no elegant way to do it, he lifted his butt and shuffled the offending article down over his hips, silently preening at her sharp intake of breath as his erection bobbed free. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>His tip was stained a dark pink, aching with how long he’d been at attention. He flicked the pearl  of fluid from his tip, rubbing it downward to ease the friction as he took himself in hand. Marinette had told him - encouraged him even - to think of her on her knees, sucking him off, and while the fleeting image of her lips stretched around his length did wonders for him, the far flung fantasy was nothing compared to the reality of her laying next to him, captivated. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He stole another look at her, finding her no less enthralled than she had been previously. She’d always been beautiful, but this was something else entirely and there was a high in the fact that the look on her face belonged to him and him alone. They had no audience this time, only each other. Private. Theirs. He grunted, focusing on the ceiling once more.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>When she lost his gaze, Marinette kissed his shoulder once more. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“S’good. Keep... you can keep...” he panted. She hesitated for a fraction of a second, shuffling closer so she was pressed against his side once more. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Like this?” She asked.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Whatever you’re comfortable with.” He murmured, the heat of her body against his arm driving him insane. There wasn’t anything remotely sexual about her touch - she was simply observing him and just happened to be closer, but her presence was felt all the same. Not a fantasy, not a dream, not a wild thought he’d regret later due to a sense of unease and guilt. She was with him, there and real and <em>wanting</em>. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>When she pressed her lips to his shoulder again his vision sparked. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Close.” He whispered in warning, unsure how she’d react to a finish. His answer came in the form of her hand splaying out over his chest and wandering down his torso, stopping low on his abdomen when his breath caught in his throat. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Can I...” she asked hesitantly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“God yes.” He groaned - he had no clue what she was asking but delirious, on edge, he’d have granted her any request. Delicate fingers wrapped around his own clenched fist, she made no attempt to still or control his movements, just following his rhythm, her hand pumping in time with his. He groaned.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Emboldened by his emphatic response and the fact he was so near the peak she wouldn’t have time to mess things up too badly, she leaned in and breathed against his ear. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“When I am ready, I’m going on top. And not just because being pinned makes me nervous, but because I <em>want</em> to see you like this underneath me. That trembling thing you’re doing... I’d love to see you coming undone, quaking, under my thighs as I ride you...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The shower of stars behind his eyes clouded his vision and he was only vaguely aware of her name on his lips as his pelvis shifted upward and he came, spilling over their joined hands. Dizzied and breathless he collapsed back on to the bed, heart racing. She’d <em>lied</em> about not being able to talk dirty, he’d be replaying that little trick in his head for months. The knowledge that he should probably feel self conscious and that he should probably clean himself off held no power over the boneless pleasure setting him adrift.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>It was only when Marinette moved away that his eyes opened, realising she’d only strayed as far as the bedside table to grab tissues. They didn’t used to live there, he’d only started keeping tissues by the bed when she’d broken up with him, and for crying purposes rather than anything lurid, but he took them from her and cleaned himself off, flushing as he realised she was wiping her own hand too.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well that was...” She began. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Thought provoking?” He joked, unable to resist. She burst into giggles and buried her face in his shoulder. “You okay?” He whispered, shuffling his pyjamas back up and pulling the covers over them for decency. She gave a noncommittal hum, the doubt starting to creep in. Something was wrong. “Talk to me.” He said gently, tossing the dirty tissues back on to the bedside table to be dealt with later and wrapping his arm around her. Marinette hesitated - she’d hadn’t been untruthful with him so far but it sounded so ridiculous on her own head. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Exactly as I planned...” she said gently. “Except I moved us from the tub to the bed because I realised it was going to get messy.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You planned for a show? I’m flattered.” He kissed her forehead. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“And to join in if I felt brave enough but if I told you I wanted to touch you and then couldn’t I didn’t want to disappoint... and I figured just asking you out of the blue to... do <em>that</em> would be awkward so... a little talking first. But yes, it went exactly as planned and I’m happy.” She whispered against his chest. She didn’t sound happy... </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Marinette... what’s wrong?” He prompted, his tone soft.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I... it’s this bit...” she admitted. “I love cuddling with you but... after... after last time... This is where it all... I felt this happy and calm before... and then...” she trailed off. Adrien’s stomach dropped as he realised what she meant. Ladybug and Cat Noir, cuddled up together, sated and content on a rooftop together somewhere and then Hawkmoth’s mask had appeared and her world had crumbled... then she’d been violently attacked by the man who’d claimed he loved her only moments before. Everything had gone wrong. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m here.” He swore hurriedly, stroking her hair. “I’m here, I’m real, it’s okay. I love you, I promise.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I know.” Marinette said softly. “I know you are and that’s <em>why</em> it’s stupid.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s not stupid. I know cuddling afterward is sort of a tradition but... we could get up? Move around a little? Get you out of your head?” He offered, hoping that would help. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes please.” He took her hand and helped her to her feet. “I can kick your ass at Mecha Strike?” He beamed and nodded.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Sounds great.” </p>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The stats on this story are insane. Thank you for reading, thank you for reviewing. New chapters every 1-2 days, depending on how long it takes me to edit them.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Honestly I’m still laughing at the opening scene of this. Clearly I am twelve years old.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p></p><div>
  <p>“I’ve been thinking...” Alya began, but stopped and shot Nino a confused look when her half finished statement caused Marinette and Adrien to dissolve into uncontrollable giggles. Marinette recovered first, shaking her head. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Sorry, sorry... inside joke.” She apologised, shooting Adrien a <em>be quiet you’re going to get us in trouble </em>look that only served to make him laugh more, last night’s antics still fresh in his mind.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Alya and Nino had followed him back from class - Marinette had still been half asleep when he’d got up, and had asked if she could stay while he went to class, rather than going home and coming back that evening when she planned to visit anyway. While he’d been in two minds about leaving Marinette alone in the apartment, tempted to skip class and stay with her, she’d insisted she had some admin stuff to do on the website and kept herself busy all day: he decided he <em>liked</em> coming home to her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>With everyone gathered around his kitchen table, Marinette had thrown together a meal that all three had insisted she didn’t have to make, but she’d refused to hear any different, her work on the website hadn’t taken as long as she’d thought and she’d already planned to make a meal for Adrien, two more at the table was no harder, really, a little extra rice and a little extra stock and she could make it go four ways. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You two are weird.” Alya concluded, a forkful of rice raised to her mouth. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes.” Marinette agreed. “But you had a point other than that, I assume?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh okay, so Ladybug’s back.” Alya ventured. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien tensed a little, not exactly the light hearted dinner conversation he’d been hoping for. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Good for her.” Nino nodded, having already seen the few photographs the Ladyblog had been sent of Ladybug, taken by passers by moments after she’d transformed again for the first time in months. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah but... okay I have no proof here and this theory is a little wild...” Alya warned. Adrien was nervous: had anyone seen the baby bump? Ladybug had been so careful to cover it... Marinette seemed antsy too, presumably just as concerned. “Hawkmoth disappeared around the same time as your father took off.” Whatever the pair of heroes had been expecting, that wasn’t it. Marinette blinked. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Alya, you can’t accuse people without proof.” She said gently, shooting a worried look at Adrien as his face was oddly furrowed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I mean... he does fit the bill.” Nino agreed with his girlfriend. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Of course, both Marinette and Adrien already knew that Gabriel Agreste had been the man behind the butterfly mask, but Adrien worried all the same: he wasn’t supposed to know his father had been the one who invaded their privacy. Yet, he could hardly defend him now. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“The thought had occurred to me.” He admitted, sighing softly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It had?” Marinette asked, eyes wide. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah...” Adrien bit his lip, deciding to stick to the truth as much as he could: there were too many lies and secrets to keep track of at this point but if Gabriel made a return at any point he needed to ensure Alya and Nino stayed well away from him. “Cat Noir was the one who gave me my father’s letter. I figured he and Ladybug wouldn’t have been involved unless it was akuma related or whatever... so yeah. I think that’s probably the case.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Licking his bottom lip and staring at the ceiling he thought hard on his words. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“If he is then... I’m sorry, to all of you.” He said carefully. “I don’t even know where to begin, given everything you’ve all had to endure...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You have nothing to apologise for.” Marinette growled, reaching for his hand under the table. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She’d done her best to protect him from that particular fact, oblivious to the fact he already knew. He squeezed her fingers lightly and gave her an apologetic look. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Agreed, bro, not your fault!” Insisted Nino. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Explains why you were never akumatised.” Alya concluded. <em>Except I was</em> Adrien thought miserably. “Kind of kicking myself for not figuring it out sooner.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Abandoning her plate (the risotto tasted funny to her anyway) Marinette moved to Adrien’s lap, silently cuddling into him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s okay.” She whispered, sure his mind must be treading a dark path. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We’ll talk about it later?” He said quietly, confident she wouldn’t leave him for it, she’d already known after all, but still wanting to make it up to her somehow now it was semi public knowledge. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You two are adorable.” Nino said, staring at them in adoration. For all Alya insisted she was their biggest fan, Nino was certainly in very close second.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m happy you two worked it all out... so have you decided what you’re doing about project bump?” The blogger asked, clearing her plate and smiling. “Dinner was delicious, Mari.” She added.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What do you mean what we’re doing about it?” Adrien asked, confused. Marinette had initiated the contact, so apparently was content on his lap, the arm he wrapped around her waist to steady her found itself settling on her abdomen. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I mean... you’re going to have to address it publicly soon right? You’re starting to show.” Alya said gently. “You said the father isn’t in the picture so... just because we all know the truth doesn’t mean we have to throw you to the wolves, Marinette.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What?” Marinette blinked, feeling Adrien squirm beneath her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She means...” Nino said, glaring at his girlfriend: they’d agreed to broach this tactfully and Alya apparently didn’t know the meaning of the word. “Adrien said as far as he’s concerned the baby’s his right...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“But it’s...” she paused to correct herself. “She’s not his.” Marinette reminded them, a little alarmed. She didn’t want to have to make a public statement: announcing the bump to the world meant potentially alerting Hawkmoth... sure he’d assume the baby was Adrien’s but still... She wasn’t ready for that. Not to mention the press could be cruel, or possibly worse... they could be kind. She still had no idea how to handle more people congratulating her yet. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“They have a point.” Adrien said gently. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t want to talk about this.” Marinette’s tone suggested the conversation was over. Adrien wasn’t entirely sure whether that meant on the whole, or in front of Alya and Nino as they didn’t have the full story, but he didn’t get a chance to ask as she began clearing plates with determination, stalking off into the kitchen.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I should go help.” Alya said, getting to her feet. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Don’t make it worse.” Nino warned. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m trying to help.” She argued, looking guilty. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I know.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>—- </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Sooooo,” Marinette only broached the topic when Alya and Nino were gone for the day. She’d made them each a hot drink and set them on his coffee table, before settling down beside him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that I thought he was Hawkmoth.” Adrien blurted, clenching his fists. “I should have told you but then after everything with...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m not mad.” Marinette clarified, tone firm. “At all. Forget me and what happened there... how are you?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What?” He blinked in shock. How was <em>he</em>? </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Adrien,” Marinette’s voice softened. “It’s highly likely your father was a supervillain who terrorised Paris and you... you thought it but you haven’t... you’ve not talked about that. To anybody. Carrying all that by yourself...” she moved to squeeze his shoulder and he jolted. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>With everything going on in her life: she was still concerned about him and his feelings and Adrien did not have a clue how to verbalise the swell of appreciation that thought inspired. Instead he kissed her: perhaps a tad more fiercely than he’d intended but she didn’t retreat, wrapping her arms around his neck and moving in to the kiss. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He had wanted to talk to Ladybug about it. The depths of betrayal his father being Hawkmoth revealed, the guilt at never knowing the truth, the likely sinister reasoning for his father’s motives. Finally presented with the opportunity he couldn’t find the words, not when she’d been hurt far worse than he had. Instead he cradled her face as they broke their kiss, tears in his eyes.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Thank you.” He whispered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“For... what?” She asked, confused. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“For being you. For always being you, Marinette.” Because she still was. However lost or afraid she was, she was still Marinette. Still Ladybug. Still putting others first. “I’m okay.” She gave him a look. “I... no. I’m not okay. You’re right but... I don’t want to put that on you.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s okay. You can talk to me.” She soothed. He couldn’t though. He couldn’t tell her half of what was on his mind. He wished he could. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Seeing that he wasn’t going to discuss it, Marinette scrunched her nose before climbing into his lap, to his surprise. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I can’t begin to imagine,” Marinette began gently, settling herself there with no qualms about how close they were or how intimate the position was “but when you’re ready to talk about it, I will listen.” She kissed his nose. Adrien slid his arms around her waist and buried his nose in her neck. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Thank you.” He whispered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>————————</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It just...” Marinette was flitting around her bedroom, trying to find the right bolt of fabric, but amid the growing mountain of baby paraphernalia (why had her parents seen fit to show their support by buying half of the toy store?!) her usual room clutter, the innumerable skeins of thread, swatches of fabric, order forms from the website, and completed orders boxed up and ready to be sent, the room was barely big enough to turn around in. “It feels unfair on Cat.” Trying to talk to Adrien about his father had not gone over well, so she hadn’t wanted to saddle him with Alya’s thoughts on ‘project bump’ as she called it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“But Cat Noir can’t be there if he doesn’t know.” Tikki reminded her, perched precariously on top of a stack of unpacked boxes. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I know that.” She grimaced, painfully aware of the situation. “It just... I don’t know. It seems disrespectful.” Marinette found the desired fabric and set herself down at the desk, staring at her template. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s not even that I object to Adrien stepping in any more! I know that he loves me, I know that he’s okay with this and if I were a normal person and really had just had a one night stand and then leapt straight in with Adrien she’d practically be his anyway! I feel guilty about it but knowing Adrien is okay with it is actually... it’s workable. But... I just hate the idea of cutting Cat Noir out of his daughter’s life! He didn’t do anything wrong.” She said miserably, double checking her measurements before braving the scissors. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Do you think he’d mind? If he knew the full story? Or would he be happy you’re not alone? That she’s got two people who love and care for her?” Marinette side stepped the issue of being uncertain how she felt about her daughter, deciding now was not the time to voice that particular concern. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“He’s Cat Noir, you know how he feels about me keeping things from him.” She pointed out. “He’d be angry I didn’t tell him in the first place.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Tikki found herself in a quandary. The things Marinette feared most about telling Cat Noir were a moot point: he already knew her identity, and was spending time with her (but Hawkmoth likely already knew who she was anyway and had stayed away), and he already knew what had transpired and lead to their daughter’s existence.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Those wheels were already in motion and there wasn’t a thing Tikki could do to stop them. In part she wanted to encourage her to just tell Cat Noir and have the whole thing done with... but Adrien feared it would set her back in her recovery and their relationship, that she would panic and run and try to handle things on her own - she’d already proven to be a flight risk. Tikki didn’t want to meddle in that either, she didn’t understand half of it and had to defer to Adrien’s judgement as he was in possession of the facts. That and... she suspected he was right, that Marinette would only fall further apart knowing she was accidentally involved with her attacker. Knowing she’d been deceived again. Tikki only sighed heavily. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I think he’d understand. If Adrien wants to play the role of her father there’s no sense letting the press know he isn’t. You thought they were mean when you were starting to show? You know exactly what they’ll call you if they think...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Gold digger? Whore? I know.” She said softly. She hadn’t actually been called anything, but felt the imaginary slights all the same. “I’m sure I can handle people being mean... it just doesn’t sit right with me to lie about Cat Noir.” She huffed.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“But I can’t exactly tell the truth so I either let them believe the pretty lie or an ugly one.” Drumming her fingers on the desk she wondered if she could craft a public statement that didn’t actually SAY Adrien was the father and let people infer it. Except he was the famous person in the relationship: the announcement would have to come from him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Picking up her phone she sent him a photograph of her cluttered workspace. </p>
</div><div>
  <p><em>Busy night. You?</em> </p>
</div><div>
  <p><b>Wow... did a craft shop explode in your room or have you been shopping?</b> </p>
</div><div>
  <p><em>Both. Should see the state the rest of the room is in.</em> Whirling in her wheely chair she snapped a few more pictures of the rest of the room in all its overcrowded glory, adding them on to the text message. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She didn’t receive a reply for a long moment after that, and when she did it was a picture of a small, silver key. </p>
</div><div>
  <p><b>I said I’d get you your own. You’re still welcome to move your sewing station to my place if you like? </b>A key to his apartment, she realised, smiling softly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p><em>I’ll think about it.</em> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <b>Of course you’re still more than welcome to come with it ;) </b>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>I’ll think about it! </em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>When he’d first suggested it it had seemed ridiculous, too fast... but now... Marinette felt like she’d been with Adrien her whole life. Leaving every day (because it was a daily visit now) made her miserable, to the point she’d stayed there all afternoon that day rather than go back home, back to his in the evening, then back home to sew at night. And practically speaking she really was short on workspace. Plus with him back at school she wasn’t seeing him quite as often as she’d like, regularly being left alone in his apartment while he went out would mean hours of lost work. Moving her sewing stuff over in to the spare room wouldn’t be too bad, would it? </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>As it was she’d barely touched her design for the night having been with him most of the evening and she was exhausted... but Adrien wouldn’t actually want a noisy sewing machine going at all hours, surely. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>—————— </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien had never looked more excitable, practically hopping from foot to foot. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re like a puppy...” Marinette mused, not nearly as enthusiastic at the prospect of another scan as he was as they entered the hospital. Last time she’d been here had been traumatic to say the least, but at least she knew the way to the maternity ward now and wouldn’t be wandering the corridors lost and too afraid to ask the way to the maternity suite in case someone recognised her.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I resent that implication. But we get to see the baby... that’s cool right?” He asked, following her into the elevator, the pair of them being the only occupants. She gave a weak smile. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“If you say so.” At her resigned tone, Adrien’s shoulders fell. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m being tactless, aren’t I?” He realised. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No.” She shook her head. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I am... this isn’t a happy moment, is it?” He whispered, watching as she clutched the folder with her notes close to her chest. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It is.” She reassured him, momentarily dropping her head on to his shoulder. “It should be. It’s just... weird too. You be happy if you want to, okay? Maybe it’ll rub off on me.” She prompted him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette hadn’t intended to drag him along, but as soon as she’d mentioned her scan Adrien had immediately scheduled video notes of his days classes so he could attend with her. Alya had wanted to tag along but an interview at the wrong time couldn’t be rearranged, and she’d requested text updates... not that there was anything to update, hopefully, as the scan was to check for foetal anomalies. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>A maternity unit waiting room full of pregnant women had, in hindsight, perhaps not been the best place to take Adrien before they’d publicly announced it, as every pair of eyes in the room seemed to swivel in their direction as they took their seats. This was why everyone had been pressuring her to make a statement, she realised. Because word was going to get out whether she controlled it or not...</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Noting her discomfort Adrien suggested: </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Super penguino?” And watched as her face relaxed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ignoring the whispers and the looks was much easier when they were absorbed in the game, passing the phone back and forth and giggling amongst themselves every time one of them screwed up a shot. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Marinette Dupain-Cheng?” Called a woman with a clipboard, confirming her identity to the room of expectant mothers who began to whisper even more frantically. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well I guess the cat’s out of the bag, huh?” Marinette sighed, handing over the folder of her notes. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’ll run damage control later.” He promised, following her into the dark room. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You know you have a clinic appointment after this?” Asked the woman, typing something on to a computer before moving to what appeared to be a large tv screen attached to an arm on the computer.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes.” Marinette confirmed. Adrien had no clue what a clinic appointment entailed so just sat in the chair beside the bench Marinette was settling herself onto, that he assumed was for visitors. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Oddly proud of how easily she flipped up her jumper and exposed her stomach, he reached for her hand, squeezing it. The lady (Adrien wasn’t sure if she was a doctor, a nurse, or a technician and felt it would be rude to ask) squirted a clear gel onto the small bump, before pressing a wand against her skin. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I just need to get some measurements and make sure everything’s okay, then I’ll turn the screen around and show you the baby okay? Do you know what you’re having?” She asked, wriggling the wand and staring at the screen. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The sound of her tapping away on the keyboard was oddly jarring in the quiet of the room. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“A girl.” Marinette fielded, staring at the ceiling and taking slow breaths to steady her nerves. Adrien kissed her hand. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well she’s certainly not shy... and definitely a girl.” The woman informed them, apparently the baby was wriggling around on the screen. “Have you felt movements yet?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Is it...” <em>not it </em>“she... is she moving now? Sort of... here?” Marinette gestured a little above the wand, the woman chasing the indicated area with the device. Adrien couldn’t see anything, the movements all still internal. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes, that’s her.” Confirmed the sonographer.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh... okay I’ve been feeling that for a couple of weeks, I thought it was just anxiety.” She looked guilty, a little unnerved that she hadn’t recognised the motion. There was a whole <em>person</em> inside her, who’d been vying for her attention for a while... and she hadn’t even noticed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What does it feel like?” Adrien asked her, curiosity peaked. She paused for a moment, thinking on how to describe the sensation. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You know that fluttery feeling you get when I kiss you?” Marinette said softly, Adrien only grinning in answer. “Like that.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Okay, everything looks fine. She’s measuring exactly on her dates, and she’s got plenty of fluid. I’ll leave the rest to the clinic but for now...” She turned the screen around so it tilted toward them, and Adrien froze.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>As if the breath had been punched from his lungs he couldn’t quite believe what he was seeing. A startlingly clear figure of a baby, wriggling and kicking around as though swimming... his daughter. He shot Marinette a helpless look, but she wasn’t looking at him, her head tipped toward her shoulder as she watched the screen, still not quite sure what to make of it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re having a baby.” He breathed in awe. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes, we’ve established that.” Marinette murmured. “She’s so small...” Her whisper was so low he almost missed it, but the sonographer heard it.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Exactly the size she’s supposed to be.” Reassured the woman. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Marinette, you’re having a baby!” Adrien repeated, the excitement from earlier returning full force. He beamed and to his surprise Marinette’s lips quirked upward too. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Is it just hitting you?” She asked, more amused at his shock than anything. What had he expected to see? Marinette supposed she should just be grateful it didn’t have cat ears. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s... it’s real. She’s there...” he pointed at the screen. “And there...” he watched her stomach in surprise. “And...and... oh wow I need to sit down.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Adrien...” Marinette giggled. “You <em>are</em> sitting down.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We see this a lot with first time fathers.” The woman informed Marinette, watching her patient’s boyfriend practically vibrate out of his chair. Marinette hummed gently, Adrien was this giddy and it wasn’t even his baby... she couldn’t help but wonder how Cat Noir would have reacted. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien was still jumping around in excitement when they left the room, clutching the grayscale print out the woman had given them. The room let out into a deserted back corridor, which they were supposed to walk down until she reached her clinic appointment across the other side, but the moment he realised they were alone, Adrien took her hand and lifted it over her head, twirling her.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What are you doing?” She cackled, going with it as he dipped her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Wooing you.” He grinned, helping her back to a standing position. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Consider me wooed.” Marinette giggled shaking her head. “You’re really excited about this...” she breathed, surprised. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I... that was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen.” He insisted. “And I’ve been rescued by Ladybug a couple of times!” He added, enjoying the blush the hidden compliment brought to her face.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“There’s a human being growing inside you...” he said, awestruck. “And I know... I know the circumstances are awful and I know... I just...” he couldn’t explain it to her, he knew it was easier for him: he didn’t remember being violated, he wasn’t left with the scars: the nightmares she rarely confessed to but he knew she had, or panic attacks suffered. His body was still all his own. He looked guilty, but she smiled all the same and grabbed his phone from his jeans pocket - hers was still in her purse and she didn’t want to disturb Tikki. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Shuffle in.” She instructed. Adrien moved in closer to her as she held the device up for a selfie, gesturing for him to include the picture he was still holding. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“For Alya?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“For Alya.” She confirmed. Their friend had requested updates after all. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The photograph was adorable: Marinette recognised her smile to be soft and genuine, infused with Adrien’s own glee and Adrien’s grin the broad and almost goofy one he reserved just for her, the scan photo visible beneath their chins. He sent it to Alya and then hesitated, she’d already started walking down the corridor toward her next appointment, moment of happiness over... Catching up with her he said </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hey... I know you’ve been driving yourself crazy over the phrasing of the announcement but... a bunch of people just saw us go into a scan so it’s kind of public now, or will be soon... what if I just posted this to my social media?” He asked, the idea half formed but he couldn’t find anything wrong with it. “No caption or anything just... the picture.” She thought about his suggestion for a long moment. No caption definitely avoided the paternity lie... </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re going to break the internet.” She warned, wary of announcing it. But it was already out of her hands... people had seen her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah, but I don’t have a publicist anymore so who’s going to yell at me? I mean it used to be Nathalie but I’m pretty sure she’s busy being a supervillain, and a bunch of people have already tweeted it... so... what do you say?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I refuse to be responsible for your rabid fangirls.” She hummed. “But if you’re sure then go ahead.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien hit send before he could second guess himself, hurriedly following her into the room. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>——</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>It turns out he didn’t just break the internet: he issued a call to the national press to go insane. They stepped out of the hospital after an hour and a half of indignities that had tested the limits of Marinette’s touch aversion such as blood tests, urine samples and body measuring, to what could only be described as carnage: the patient car park fully occupied with paparazzi, police already trying to break it up and help people to their appointments safely. Adrien paled. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Uhm...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“This is going to be a problem.” Marinette mused, surveying the crowd and checking her phone which had been on silent during her appointment: sure enough their faces dominated all of the popular news sites and she had dozens of congratulations texts from people she hadn’t seen in years. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I still have G’s number...” he hadn’t really used his bodyguard since his father’s departure- he’d been let go along with the rest of the staff but he had always quite liked the stoic giant, and believed he was ignorant of his father’s crimes. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Or we could ask Sergeant Raincomprix for an escort.” She suggested sensibly, pointing out the redhead in the crowd and heading over to him as people shoved microphones in her face clamouring for a statement. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien noted she was in full Ladybug mode, calm and collected in a way she hadn’t been whilst poked and prodded in the hospital room. She tapped the policeman on the shoulder, ignoring the surrounding chaos.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Excuse me, Sergeant Raincomprix? They’ll go away when we do... could we get a ride home?” She asked politely, watching the man’s face soften. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Anything for an old friend of my daughter. I hear congratulations are in order, young lady?” He puffed his chest as he lead her to his car, clearly proud of his job as a celebrity escort. Adrien was happy to tag along behind. He gave a wave to a couple of journalists he recognised as familiar, but offered no statement, climbing in to the back of the car beside his remarkably composed girlfriend. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>They smiled politely as Sergeant Raincomprix chattered all the way home, only really paying attention when he mentioned how well Sabrina was doing in college. Good for her.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette’s focus was on Adrien’s hand on her knee, she liked Adrien touching her... but she’d spent the whole day being touched and was exhausted with the effort of it. She edged her leg away slightly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien didn’t notice her shy away, his focus was on his phone, beginning to regret his rash decision to post without thinking. He had several emails requesting interviews, thousands of notifications on social media, dozens of texts from friends and clients, two from female models he’d worked with demanding to know if it was true, and one from Chloé that just read: </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>You’re going to be a better father than you know. </em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>That was what broke him. Chloé, who knew how lousy their childhoods had been, had zeroed in on his biggest fear and somehow abated it in a single sentence. If Chloé of all people thought he could do it... Tilting his phone so Marinette could read it, tears sprang to his eyes. She smiled at him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re going to be amazing at this.” She promised, pausing before deciding one more touch wouldn’t hurt and squeezing his hand as the doubt started to creep in. Of course he was... Marinette just hoped she could measure up. </p>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Adrien really needs to talk to people. He’ll get there, I promise. </p><p>Thank you for reading so far, thank you for reviewing.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Have some more calm before the storm. Because we all need more fluff.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>In which Marinette speeds things up.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div><p>The flash of paparazzi cameras followed Adrien out of the campus as he left for the day. He smiled weakly - truly he hadn’t expected this much attention. People had babies all the time. In the week since his social media post had gone viral, he’d barely been given room to breathe: worse... it wasn’t just him but Marinette too. She’d whispered to him that she couldn’t even go shopping any more without cameras following her everywhere, and while he was more than used to it, it wasn’t something she’d experienced much of. </p>
<p></p><div><p>He wasn’t anticipating the crowd of cameras to part suddenly and the blonde woman who emerged from the gap, looking irritated. </p></div><div><p>“Ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous. Go away you vultures.” Snapped Chloé, shooing them. Adrien smiled, he was far too polite to berate them stalking him outside school, but Chloé was no such thing. She marched forward, grabbed his arm and all but dragged him to her waiting car. </p></div><div><p>“Thank you.” Adrien said softly, appreciating the effort.</p></div><div><p>“You can thank me by coming shopping with me.” His friend said, sliding into the back seat beside him. “Jean-Pierre: run them over if you have to.” </p></div><div><p>“Don’t do that.” Adrien said quickly, but Jean-Yves just gave him a gentle smile that promised he wouldn’t and started the car, winding them through the foot traffic. </p></div><div><p>“It’s good to see you, Chloé.” </p></div><div><p>“If you say so. You knock up Dupain-Cheng and don’t even call to tell me before the bomb drops? Shame on you, Adrien Agreste.” She huffed, folding her arms. Adrien paused and couldn’t help the soft laugh. Chloé would never change. </p></div><div><p>“Sorry I didn’t tell you before it went public. We weren’t planning on announcing yet but people saw us go in for the scan so...” the answer seemed to satisfy Chloé who instantly stopped pouting. </p></div><div><p>“Ah. Damage control. That explains it. Obviously you’d have told me otherwise.”  </p></div><div><p>“How far is she?” Chloé wondered, examining her nails. </p></div><div><p>“Oh umm... about five months now.” Adrien smiled gently. </p></div><div><p>“Well you sure don’t waste any time.” The heiress sniffed but then paused. “Planned?” </p></div><div><p>“That’s... not an appropriate question, Chloé.” He said carefully. No, this was definitely not planned. </p></div><div><p>“Oh come on, you can’t bullshit me, Agreste, I know you’ve always wanted kids and I know you’re crazy about her and it’s not like you’re broke or anything, I’m not judging you.” Chloé snapped, before she seemed to withdraw a little. “I’m just... wondering if you’re happy.” She whispered.</p></div><div><p>“I’m very happy.” Adrien promised her, realising Chloé hadn’t been implying Marinette had done something to ensure her pregnancy but rather asking if they’d both planned to have kids together. He felt a little guilty for assuming she meant the worst. He felt worse for being happy. </p></div><div><p>He was happy. Mostly. He hesitated... he couldn’t tell Chloé the half of it, was happy to let her think the baby was his (she was after all) but he could share some of it. </p></div><div><p>“She wasn’t planned.” He confessed. “Marinette’s worried about us moving too fast.” </p></div><div><p>“Seriously? Ugh. How did I know she’d cause problems, I told you she was trouble.” Chloé warned as they pulled up at the shopping district. Of course Chloé would want to look at clothes. </p></div><div><p>“She’s not trouble.” Adrien got out of the car and opened her door to help her out - the way he’d been trained to do. </p></div><div><p>“Okay fine, she’s not trouble but she’s stubborn, believe me I would know. So what she’s dragging her heels about getting married or...” Chloé dismissed Jean-Yves with a wave of her hand and Adrien mouthed ‘thank you’ at him. </p></div><div><p>“Moving in.” Adrien admitted, following close behind her as she strode through the building as though she owned the place. </p></div><div><p>“I’ll have a word with her.” </p></div><div><p>“Don’t. Don’t do that.” Adrien said quickly, worried anything Chloé said would make it worse. </p></div><div><p>“She’s not like us, Adrien.” Chloé mumbled, linking her arm through his and dragging him into a store. </p></div><div><p>“What is that supposed to mean?” </p></div><div><p>“I mean... she didn’t grow up not having to worry about money the way we did. Trust me, this will be some poor people nonsense about not being able to afford to live with you, because she thinks it’s a problem or something...” </p></div><div><p>“I don’t think that’s the issue.” Adrien sighed, unsure why he’d brought the issue up with Chloé  and expected understanding. </p></div><div><p>“I think it’s a bigger part of the issue than you think it is.” Chloé let go of his arm and pulled something from a shelf, holding it up for his approval. </p></div><div><p>It took him a moment to realise it was a tiny yellow onesie. He blinked rapidly, looking around to discover he was in a store catered to outfitting ages 0-3. As her friend of many years he was more than used to accompanying her shopping - but he couldn’t recall a single incidence of her ever shopping for someone other than herself. His breath caught in his chest. </p></div><div><p>“I figure yellow is gender neutral? Besides, it’s the best colour.” Chloé insisted then frowned. “Are you crying? Don’t... ew... okay don’t do that. We’ll avoid yellow.” Chloé quickly threw the onesie back onto the shelf, unsure how to react to Adrien getting emotional. Squirming, she patted him awkwardly on a shoulder. </p></div><div><p>“Sorry... yellow’s fine.” Adrien whispered. </p></div><div><p>“Then why the theatrics. People are going to think I’m breaking up with you.” Chloé hissed, eyeing the other patrons in the store with distaste. </p></div><div><p>“It... Just... it keeps hitting me. I’m going to be a father...” Adrien said, quickly wiping his eyes and returning to a neutral expression. “But yellow’s good. We already know she’s a girl though.” He smiled. Chloé paused and picked the onesie back up. </p></div><div><p>“Fine, but you’re family - and I don’t care who her mother is, no family of mine is going to be dressed head to toe in pink. So it will be our job to buy all the other colours.” She announced. </p></div><div><p>Chloé shopped like a woman possessed, her heels clicking on the wooden floor as she strode around the shelves. She didn’t check the price tag on a single item, just weighed down her arms with an entire wardrobe’s worth of clothes, and Adrien thought he understood a little of what she’d meant about Marinette worrying about money.</p></div><div><p>They’d both grown up in a position where they’d never had to consider the price of things. While Marinette hadn’t exactly been “poor” as Chloé described her, he knew for a fact finances were something she worried about, or how other people perceived the imbalance between them at any rate. </p></div><div><p>It probably wasn’t a deciding factor over whether she lived with him, but it was possibly a contributory one. Chloé waved her credit card at the cashier and stood examining her nails while the woman bagged it, a little wide eyed at the sheer amount Chloé had purchased. </p></div><div><p>“You really didn’t have to buy all this, Chloé.” </p></div><div><p>“See here’s the thing: I know I didn’t. I know damn well you can afford it, and that you wouldn’t see your own child go without... but it’s my way of supporting you without having to get all up close and personal with your charming girlfriend. I still hate her by the way.”</p></div><div><p>“No you don’t.” Adrien laughed. Chloé pouted. </p></div><div><p>“You hush. I’m making a point. Dupain-Cheng and I will never see eye to eye, but we do both care about you.” Adrien nodded, climbing into the car once more, laden with bags. </p></div><div><p>Half the car ride back to Adrien’s apartment was silent, when she broke it her voice was distant: wistful. </p></div><div><p>“Remember that time we climbed the tree in the park?” </p></div><div><p>“Yes. Our parents were furious: <em>get down before you break a leg</em>!” Adrien laughed softly, mimicking his father’s stern voice. They’d been around seven years old at a picnic, with both of their families, and had managed to sneak away. The escape had been Chloe’s idea, climbing the tree had been Adrien’s. Even when he was small he’d been fond of heights... </p></div><div><p>“I remember it slightly differently.” Chloé sniffed. “Your parents were scared you’d get hurt, mine were scared I’d ruin my dress.” Chloé pointed out. Adrien winced, he did vaguely recall her mother saying something like that.  “The thing is... we were <em>kids</em>. We were supposed to be climbing trees and getting dirty and getting hurt. That’s... that’s what being a kid is supposed to be about, right?”</p></div><div><p>“Yeah, I think so...” </p></div><div><p>“Let her climb trees, Adrien.” Chloé whispered, laying her head on his shoulder. “Don’t do to her what they did to us, okay?” </p></div><div><p>“I’ll let her climb trees.” He promised. “With... you know... a helmet and knee pads and stuff.” He joked. </p></div><div><p>—————</p></div><div><p>“Let me be clear on one thing.” Chloé turning up in the bakery had not been anticipated. Marinette genuinely did not know what to do with the blonde stood there on the shop floor with her arms folded, looking cross. She simply blinked at her arrival. “I don’t like you and you don’t like me...”</p></div><div><p>“I... don’t dislike you...” Marinette said slowly. </p></div><div><p>“Fine. We sort of like each other a little bit.” Chloé begrudgingly admitted, folding her arms. “But we both like Adrien. So listen up, Dupain-Cheng, if he says he’s in this 100%, he is in this 100%. Stop taking some ridiculous moral standing and worrying about what other people will think. He knows you’re not a gold digger, so who cares what the papers say, the papers are the worst.” </p></div><div><p>“More importantly <b>I </b>know you’re not a gold digger. So you have my blessing to move in with Adrien.” She announced grandly. Marinette looked utterly lost, glancing at her parents for help. Sabine just shrugged. Tom pretended he had no clue what was going on and whistled a song whilst shelving madeleines. </p></div><div><p>“I... what?” </p></div><div><p>“You have my approval.” Chloé said, speaking slowly and clearly as though Marinette was hard of hearing. “I’m the closest thing he has to family and I’m okay with it. So go grab you’re stuff we’re moving you in right now.” </p></div><div><p>“Okay so... no. This is a conversation I have to have with Adrien.” Marinette folded her own arms in mimicry of Chloé who sighed exasperatedly. </p></div><div><p>“Ugh. Ridiculous. Fine, whatever, move your own things but don’t say I didn’t try.” And with that, Chloé stalked out in as much of a whirlwind as she had arrived. </p></div><div><p>Taking several deep breaths to calm herself, Marinette dialled Adrien, turning to walk up the stairs to her bedroom as it rang. </p></div><div><p>“Want to tell me why Chloé was just here basically threatening me?” She asked, voice stern. </p></div><div><p>“She... has a strange way of showing affection?” Adrien said hopefully. Marinette sighed. </p></div></div><div>
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  <p>She agreed, after a lengthy conversation, that taking her equipment to the spare room wouldn’t be too much at this point. </p>
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<p></p><div><p>Setting the spare room up as Marinette’s business base of operation - a sewing room, had been easy enough, he’d shifted the sofa closer to the television so she had floor space to work with, and moved the piano to the corner, adding another desk for her. Within a few days of agreeing to use the space, bags of fabric and mountains of design paraphernalia had made their way to the room, and Marinette spent most of her day in there, the sewing machine clattering noisily.</p></div><div><p>The bonus to this meant that no matter how much she protested that she was <em>just</em> working at his apartment, not moving in, she was often too tired to go back home on an evening, meaning she slept over more often. </p></div><div><p>While he adored coming home to her already there, and waking up beside her, it took only two weeks for him to notice a disturbing pattern. Marinette wasn’t just working hard: she was using it as a distraction, an excuse to avoid seeing her parents, to avoid Alya. Sure, she smiled and said </p></div><div><p>“I’ve got to finish this embroidering by last post” or “I really do need to fix this wonky hemline”, all her excuses were valid, but she was hiding away. </p></div><div><p>He supposed they had been a bit much. </p></div><div><p>Only when he found her asleep, slumped over her sewing desk did he flick the sewing machine off (so she didn’t make any mistakes) and signal for Tikki (who had been perched on top of the machine standing guard over her chosen) to leave the room with him. </p></div><div><p>“She’s not doing great, is she?” He asked gently, when they were safely ensconced in the living room. </p></div><div><p>“I don’t think she’s doing too badly.” Tikki hummed as Plagg emerged from his hiding place. Watching the pair meet in an odd mid air cuddle he was reminded that they were two halves of a whole, and likely missed each other with Plagg having to hide most of the time. “Mostly she’s just trying to stay busy.”</p></div><div><p>“By ignoring the rest of the world?” Adrien fretted quietly. </p></div><div><p>“Doesn’t seem the healthiest coping mechanism.” Plagg said. “Can’t she go back to the binge eating ice cream phase? As a fellow comfort eater, at least that was relatable.” Adrien tried not to laugh, knowing  Plagg wasn’t just a comfort eater: he was an eater full stop, cheese was his solution to every problem. </p></div><div><p>“It’s her way, for now. Keep in mind that every time she logs on to her website she has to deal with dozens of inappropriate personal inquiries before finding a business one, everyone around her is really excited about a baby she’s still trying to come to terms with, and she’s practically living with her boyfriend - without wanting to pressure him into taking on too much with her touch issues and what she believes is another man’s child.” Tikki insisted. “She’s doing okay, under the circumstances, I think she just misses having a super powered outlet right now.”</p></div><div><p>“Well... you can protect her and the kitten right? Why can’t she go for another wander as Ladybug? Smash some more stuff? She liked that!” Plagg suggested. </p></div><div><p>“Because if anyone sees the bump they might put two and two together.” Adrien whispered softly, feeling the guilt twist at knowing he’d taken Ladybug from her that night and hadn’t even realised it. Marinette was starting to show properly now. If Ladybug got caught... “She’s not willing to risk it?” </p></div><div><p>“Exactly.” Tikki agreed. “And going outside as Marinette she feels very in the spotlight at the moment so... maybe plan your next date indoors.” She reassured. Adrien grinned, it was still early evening - he had the perfect idea. </p></div><div><p>Managing to go out and get the necessary equipment, come back and set it up before she woke up wasn’t that difficult, as she’d worked herself to the point of exhaustion. Tikki and Plagg being willing to help (admittedly Tikki more so than Plagg) made short work of the task, and the surprise was ready by a late dinner time. Perfect. </p></div><div><p>Stepping carefully through the chaos of the spare room so as not to disturb any unseen organisation system she had going on (it all looked erratic to him but he knew better than to question her system) he crossed to the resting girl and tapped gently on the desk beside her head to rouse her. </p></div><div><p>“Hm, time ‘sit?” She murmured, blinking bewildered as she came round. </p></div><div><p>“Time we had a date.” He said softly. </p></div><div><p>“Now? Adrien it’s late, I look like hell...” she gestured vaguely to her comfortable attire that she’d clearly not intended to leave the house in. Why did he want to go on a date at... she glanced at the clock on her phone... 8pm, when she was half asleep and in her sweats? He helped her to her feet. </p></div><div><p>“You look beautiful.” He whispered, cupping her face and nudging her nose. “And we’re not going far. C’mon.” </p></div><div><p>Taking her hand he lead her into the living room, glowing golden with the light of a dozen candles, carefully placed on surfaces about the living room. Having pushed the living room sofa back and set a blanket with a basket down on the floor, they had space for a picnic, two empty wine glasses and plates beside the open basket. Marinette’s fingertips found her lips, touched at the simple gesture. </p></div><div><p>“The wine’s non-alcoholic, it’s just fancy grape juice... but other than that no baby talk tonight, okay? It’s been kind of a big focus lately so I wanted to wind it back a little, have a night with just us?” Her eyes widened and she nodded. </p></div><div><p>“Yes, please.” She agreed. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to plan for the baby, she was a planner after all... she needed to get ready, it just seemed every conversation was about it, every waking moment serving to remind her of the impending arrival. A date night without worrying about it sounded perfect. She kissed him and let him lead her over to the blanket. </p></div><div><p>He had initially worried she’d be reminded too strongly of the failed first date Cat Noir had attempted to take Ladybug on - the one he’d wound up bringing her on anyway as Marinette... but if she noticed any similarities, she didn’t react, smiling down at a candle and hovering her hand over it to watch the little light flicker and dance. </p></div><div><p>“This is so sweet.” She murmured, smiling softly. </p></div><div><p>“So’s dessert. Might have swung by the bakery.” He grinned, pulling out some bits and pieces of savoury food from the basket. He’d gone with typical picnic food, little things they could nibble at without having to worry about cooking, and it gave her a selection in case the baby was continuing to be fussy about what she ate. </p></div><div><p>Sitting cross legged on the floor they swapped things around until they each had a varied array on their plates and tucked in. </p></div><div><p>“Did the ball gown for the woman in Lyon go okay?” He asked, not so much opting for the “ask about your day” option from their list, as genuinely interested in her activity, regardless of practised intimacy. He popped a grape into his mouth. </p></div><div><p>“I’ve sent her the final photos, if she doesn’t have any more adjustments to make I’ll get it down to the courier tomorrow.” She told him, as soon as she’d finished the cracker she was eating. “How was class?” </p></div><div><p>“The most interesting thing that happened there was the girl across from me accidentally burst her pen and stained the desk. Really nothing thrilling.” He apologised, wishing he had more anecdotes. </p></div><div><p>“Having been that girl plenty of times: oops?” A sympathetic smile from Marinette directed to a girl she didn’t even know reminded him of her heart. </p></div><div><p>Adrien was content to watch her while they ate, but he received a grape to the head. </p></div><div><p>“You’re staring.” She giggled, catching it from where it had bounced on to the plate. </p></div><div><p>“Am I not allowed to appreciate your beauty?” He asked coyly. </p></div><div><p>“Okay, Romeo.” She still seemed to find it funny, but got on her knees and held the grape to his lips. </p></div><div><p>“Oh we’re feeding each other now?” He laughed, but accepted the treat anyway. </p></div><div><p>“I just wanted an excuse to kiss you.” She admitted, leaning up and kissing him, the grape juice still fresh on his tongue. She pressed him gently until he fell back on his elbows, without breaking the kiss she moved into the space beside him. </p></div><div><p>“You know you don’t need an excuse, right?” He pointed out, only receiving a hum in answer. From their new position, they were effectively cuddling, half propped up against each other. The only thing he could reach from his place was the box of pastries from the bakery, he found a madeleine in the box and offered it to her. Taking a bite, she gave a pleased mewl and settled against his chest. </p></div><div><p>“Sorry, this isn’t comfy is it?” She realised. </p></div><div><p>“Food then cuddle up?” He suggested, sitting up with her in his arms. </p></div><div><p>They spent the rest of the picnic like that, with him against her back, passing each other treats as necessary. When they’d eaten their fill she felt fingers tracing the sensitive hair at the nape of her neck. </p></div><div><p>“Where’s your hair brush?” He asked, glancing around the room. </p></div><div><p>“Bedroom I think, you’re wanting to play with my hair again?” She hummed, leaning in to his touch. </p></div><div><p>“Mmm, yes. But later, the date’s not over yet.” Slowly, Adrien stood up, offering her his hand as it slid from her hair. </p></div><div><p>“What, we retire to the kitchen for a decaff coffee?” She teased. </p></div><div><p>“No, I mean we can if you want but...” he held up a finger, before leaving her side, taking two small devices from the edge of the sofa. </p></div><div><p>Marinette tipped her head. </p></div><div><p>“What are you playing at?” </p></div><div><p>“Outside... it’s a little... peopley at the moment, right?” He ventured. “So I figured we can bring Paris at night to us.” He pressed the button on one of the devices, the soft notes of a ballad beginning to play from the speaker which he set down on the sofa. She smiled and he grinned, tapping his nose before turning the other on, a myriad of stars and planets projecting on to the ceiling. Marinette laughed - the stars were barely visible outside after all, and the effect was far from realistic, but the ethereal white glow of the fake stars above them added to the atmosphere of the room. </p></div><div><p>“May I have this dance?” He asked, stepping back toward her and bowing. </p></div><div><p>“You may.” She curtseyed, plucking the side of her sweatpants in lieu of a skirt, before straightening up and stepping into his arms. She lost herself in the music: Adrien was using every move in the book with no expectation of results, he wanted romance, not sex, and she was more than happy to provide, twirling around the room with him, artfully avoiding candles. He dipped her and she saw the stars twinkling merrily above on the living room ceiling. </p></div><div><p>Every motion was graceful, elegant, they moved together with ease as though they’d rehearsed - Adrien knew why, and nearly laughed at the realisation. They weren’t fighting evil together, or sparring on a rooftop, but their bodies already knew how to move in sync. That rhythm had never faded, and he doubted it ever would. </p></div><div><p>For Marinette it was different: unsure of why they worked, when everything in the universe said they shouldn’t, but her confidence grew with every second as they met each other step for step. Entranced by his eyes, glittering in the soft lighting of the room, she waited until the last bars of the music played out before kissing him. The next song was slower, and they slipped into a sway, his hands on her waist and hers about his shoulders. </p></div><div><p>“This brings back memories.” Adrien murmured in her ear. She cocked her head before her heart leapt as she recognised the song.</p></div><div><p>“Chloe’s party. New York. My eighteenth birthday.” She recalled. They’d danced to this number before, several times. </p></div><div><p>“I nearly kissed you.” He confessed. “On your eighteenth birthday.” Marinette flushed. </p></div><div><p>“That was over a year ago.” She realised, startled. </p></div><div><p>“Been crazy about you for a while, Miss Dupain-Cheng.” A longer while than she knew... having gone from a crush on Ladybug to being in love with Marinette, he’d never really got over her since they were kids. And she hadn’t gotten over him, by the sounds of it.</p></div><div><p>Her eighteenth birthday had oddly been the catalyst for switching his target though. The day Marinette had seemingly overtaken Ladybug. He bent to kiss her, a delicate, fleeting brush of his lips against hers and she felt her heart flutter in her chest and the baby kick in time. </p></div><div><p><em>Not tonight</em>. She’d worry about the impact of the baby on their relationship tomorrow, and the next day, and probably her whole life, but tonight Adrien had gone out of his way to make sure he had her undivided attention. The final notes of their song rang out and they had barely moved at all for the final verse, simply swaying on the spot with the beat. </p></div><div><p>“Go get ready for bed.” He said gently. “I’ll take care of the candles.” He promised, stepping back. </p></div><div><p>Having once again not planned on staying the night, Marinette let herself into his bedroom and found herself something to wear from his wardrobe. She hesitated, before deciding that if he walked in and she was still changing, it wasn’t the end of the world, right? She began undressing. Her shirt and sweatpants found their way into his laundry basket and she stared down at the outfit she’d picked out, then glanced at herself, in her underwear, biting her lip. She wondered if she felt bold enough to just leave them on... foregoing the pyjamas... </p></div><div><p>But then - they weren’t very comfortable to sleep in, and she wasn’t sure she was brave enough to take them off after getting into bed... having loitered a moment too long she opted for the pyjamas, ditching the underwear and changing into Adrien’s clothes quickly so as not to get caught out, her heart hammering. <em>Stupid idea</em>, she cursed herself, vanishing to go brush her teeth. She decided against brushing her own hair, as Adrien had said he’d wanted to. </p></div><div><p>The faint smell of lingering smoke from the extinguished candles was the only thing that marred her return: the vision of Adrien sat on his bed, his own clothing in arms and waiting patiently for his turn in the bathroom was perfection: the epitome of domestic bliss. She had turned down the idea of living with him, thinking it was far too much, far too fast. She was beginning to think he’d had the right idea. </p></div><div><p>“I love you.” She said honestly. He beamed.</p></div><div><p>“Enjoyed our date then?”</p></div><div><p>“Very much.” She kissed his nose, climbing into bed as he headed for the bathroom. </p></div><div><p>Settling into her side of his bed, Marinette wondered where Tikki went while she and Adrien were alone - was she bored? She knew the rest of the kwamis were feeling a little isolated with her not being home as much, having grown accustomed to her opening the box for a chat. Hand falling to her stomach she wondered if she should enlist Alya and Nino on patrol, on a semi permanent basis while she was decommissioned. Roaar and Barkk would appreciate it, and if Cat Noir vanished she wouldn’t know until the papers knew... she’d discuss it with Tikki later. </p></div><div><p>For tonight, she smiled as Adrien returned to the bedroom, pyjama clad and waving her hairbrush. Tonight Adrien had her full attention. </p></div><div><p>—————— </p></div><div><p>Dancing with Adrien felt natural, the fact they were dancing along clouds didn’t feel even the slightest bit odd. High above Paris, where nobody could see them, they waltzed. Donning a red version of the ball gown she’d just finished for the woman in Lyon, the skirt fluttered around her with each step. Vaguely she wondered where the baby bump had gone, but couldn’t bring herself to care about its absence. </p></div><div><p>“We’re on cloud nine, my lady.” Adrien said gently, raising her hand above her head as they danced.</p></div><div><p>“Don’t call me that...” she murmured.</p></div><div><p>“Why not?” He asked. She couldn’t answer him. </p></div><div><p>Adrien twirled her around, the dress swirling about her until she was Ladybug. His expression never changed, green eyes unsurprised at her transformation, still staring at her with a loving smile. So she kept dancing with him. Safe, content, happy. </p></div><div><p>And then she tripped over a black cat... why was that there? Stumbling, she wound up falling backward off of the cloud as Adrien above her grew smaller, further away as she tumbled downward in a flurry of red silk, his devastated expression was obvious. <em>I’m sorry</em> she thought. </p></div><div><p>She landed on her back on a candle lit rooftop, on a picnic blanket. Dazed and confused she tried to sit up but her swollen stomach prevented the movement. Had she swallowed a basketball? Felt like it. A firm pressure on her shoulders pushed her flat on her back, and suddenly Cat Noir was on top of her, claws slicing at the collar of her suit. She ought to have been afraid, but was instead a little relieved to realise she must be dreaming. She’d had this nightmare before, more times than she’d like to admit. </p></div><div><p>“You’re not real!” She hissed at the apparition. Cat Noir simply smirked. </p></div><div><p>“I’m real. I’m here. I’m not going any where.” He promised, green eyes seeming to glow in the dark. </p></div><div><p>Ladybug shivered. </p></div><div><p>“No.” She said firmly. </p></div><div><p>“But you didn’t say no.” He reminded her, mask appearing over his eyes, casting a pink light over her. “You made it so easy, Ladybug. I’m disappointed in you...” he nipped her earlobe and she flung her head to the left to try avoid him but when he pulled back he had her earring between his teeth. Half of her costume fell away, leaving her split right down the middle. Ladybug on one side, Marinette on the other. </p></div><div><p>“Hawkmoth says hi.” Cat Noir smirked. “Marinette Dupain-Cheng.” Her heart stopped, she was pretty sure of it, the glee in his tone at revealing her to Hawkmoth stung. His mask vanished. She struggled, but he was stronger than she remembered him being, pinning her easily. She was trapped, baby kicking furiously in her abdomen between them like an entire storm of butterflies in her stomach. “Lay down, my lady. Lay down with me and it won’t hurt.” He swore. She writhed and wriggled, and as his hand made contact with her breast she woke up. </p></div><div><p>A flood of cold dread and worry washed over her, sleep shoved far from her mind as she realised two things: 1. She was, in fact, being touched - Adrien’s hand was cupping her breast through the thin material of the borrowed t shirt 2. He was still asleep. The gesture was unconscious, an innocent shift of their cuddle during the night, where he’d been pressed against her back with his arm around her waist, but it was felt nonetheless.</p></div><div><p>Her heart racing she wriggled to try free herself of his grip, Adrien nuzzling closer into her neck in his dazed sleepy state. Realising she couldn’t escape, she swallowed, stilling herself. She was awake. This was real. He wasn’t Cat Noir, he wasn’t Hawkmoth. He was <em>Adrien</em>. </p></div><div><p>Willing herself not to panic, stifling the urge to elbow him and leap to safety she found her words. </p></div><div><p>“Adrien. Hand.” She said firmly. He began to stir. “Adrien,” she squeaked “please move!” Adrien’s hand jumped away from her as though he was burned, immediately disentangling them as he woke up and realised the situation. </p></div><div><p>“I’m so sorry!” He gasped. “Marinette, I swear I...” </p></div><div><p>“I know. I know. It was an accident just... just give me a second...” She whispered, clearly shaken and struggling to catch her breath. Between that and the nightmare, fighting the panic was difficult.</p></div><div><p>Adrien lay silently beside her, guilt washing over him as she clenched her eyes shut and forced herself to relax a little. “It’s okay.” She reassured quietly. “Just... weird to wake up to... to touching... I... can we go back to cuddling? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to freak out.” Adrien’s arm settled hesitantly about her waist and she rolled over into the embrace. </p></div><div><p>“It was a very valid reason to freak out.” He said softly, as she huddled into his chest, facing him this time. “I didn’t mean to. You okay?” </p></div><div><p>“Yes.” She swore, the nightmare slipping from her mind like trying to hold on to water in her bare hands. The fear it had sparked in her seemed silly in the cold light of day. Cat Noir hadn’t wanted to hurt her and Adrien’s action hadn't been intentional. </p></div><div><p>“I’m... I’m getting so much better at this.” She sighed, trying to process the fact she was already calming down. “I just wasn’t... I wasn’t expecting <em>that</em> and I kind of... neither of us agreed to it and it’s stupid but I just...” she babbled, as he stroked her back. Knowing he hadn’t meant to touch her had been nearly as big an issue as waking up to being touched - he sort of understood that. </p></div><div><p>“Not stupid. I promise it’s not stupid.” He kissed her forehead. </p></div><div><p>For a beat there was silence as they each calmed all the way down, wrapped up in each other, then her hand caught his wrist. She lead his fingertips up to her lips and kissed his knuckles lightly. </p></div><div><p>“I like waking up next to you.” She reassured him, watching the smile her words brought to his face. “I like falling asleep beside you.” </p></div><div><p>“Me too.” He whispered, thumb brushing her lips. </p></div><div><p>“And while that was a little bit of an unexpected surprise... it was the unexpected bit that was the problem.” She said slowly, directing his hand lower and carefully placing it on her breast. No leather. No claws. She wasn’t on a rooftop in the cold somewhere, being watched by a villain. She was safe and sound in bed with the man she loved. She was happy. </p></div><div><p>Adrien blinked. </p></div><div><p>“Marinette you don’t have to...” </p></div><div><p>“I know I don’t <em>have</em> to. I want to.” She said exasperatedly, letting go of his wrist so his hand was independent once more, cupping her through the thin fabric. </p></div><div><p>She kept her eyes locked on his, her blue eyes soft and trusting. Hesitantly, still half expecting her to shut down, Adrien squeezed lightly, watching her reaction: a little nervous, perhaps, but not opposed. His thumb barely grazed her nipple through the material before it reacted, pebbling to a peak under the shirt. The small indentation of her teeth finding her bottom lip spurred him on, a little bolder with his second brush over the nub, eyes flickering down briefly to see the reaction he’d caused. A small hitch of breath from his girlfriend drew his gaze to her mouth once more. </p></div><div><p>“Can I kiss you?” He wondered. </p></div><div><p>“Beats staring awkwardly at each other.” She giggled, kissing him first. </p></div><div><p>Remembering how she said she felt about being pinned, Adrien kept them on their sides, returning the kiss with equal enthusiasm and letting his hand continue to gently massage the previously forbidden territory. Marinette didn’t mind the touch, emboldened by her own terms, and drew her knee gently up between his thighs as his tongue met with hers. </p></div><div><p><em>Beginner stuff, really </em>Marinette thought. A little over the clothes touching was no more than curious fifteen year olds got up to when they explored, hell - Adrien had admittedly already got this far around that age, with Kagami, but she was confident enough that her lack of terror was a step in the right direction and allowed herself to enjoy the gentle press of his palm, and the tiny sparks of electricity that seemed to occur each time he pinched. Inevitably he began to shift his hips backward and away from her in an attempt to disguise that she wasn’t the only one enjoying the excerise. </p></div><div><p>“It’s okay.” She murmured against his lips, drawing him back in to the kiss as she wasn’t at all phased by his reaction. Much more confident with his body than her own, she shifted her knee up a little further, his clothed erection settling against her thigh. He gasped and pulled away, eyes wide, staring at her in cautious disbelief: making sure she was aware of what she was doing. Marinette only nodded, blushing and breathless before rocking very deliberately against him. </p></div><div><p>His eyes fluttered closed, content to follow her lead. Not rebuffed, and bravery climbing, Marinette kissed him once more only to withdraw almost immediately, her lips wandering down to his neck: she strayed here occasionally, but was often dissuaded by his cologne, but he hadn’t yet put any on for the day, much less the excessive amount he normally wore (by his own admission he wore so much to mask the smell of camembert), so his skin tasted clean and she dared to be bold, soft open mouthed kisses against the side of his throat down to his collar bone.</p></div><div><p>The hand that wasn’t on her breast moved up to stroke her hair, trapped a little bit beneath them but barely hampered. </p></div><div><p>“I don’t have any shoots booked for at least a week... if you wanted to leave marks you can.” </p></div><div><p>“And ruin your flawless skin? I’ll pass.” She laughed, but nipped perhaps a little harder with her following kiss, experimenting with her teeth - Adrien rolling her nipple between his thumb and forefinger in response. </p></div><div><p>A gasp that Marinette was fairly certain was her own was drowned out by an insistent ringing from the bedside table. Adrien’s phone alarm choosing an inopportune moment to remind them he had class soon. He groaned and shifted onto his back, arm flying out to silence the incessant shrieking. </p></div><div><p>Marinette seized the opportunity to swing her leg over his, moving so she was straddling him. Adrien blinked up at her. </p></div><div><p>“Hi.” He whispered, surprised. </p></div><div><p>“Hi.” She smiled, then paused. “Is this okay? I’m not too heavy.” She worried, conscious that she was a little rounder than she had once been. </p></div><div><p>“No. I mean... yes it’s fine, and no you’re not too heavy.” He clarified, barely able to tell the difference between her weight atop him and the last few times he’d lifted Ladybug in battle. “You’re okay with it?” </p></div><div><p>“I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t.” She reminded him. “We have a little time before you have to leave for school and I don’t start what I don’t intend to finish.” </p></div><div><p>Her hair was down - he’d brushed it out himself the night before, but for all her attitude gave away it might as well be in twin bunches, her old confidence searing through as she smiled at him wryly. </p></div><div><p>“So you can doubt yourself and worry that I don’t mean it and work yourself into an unnecessary guilt trip, ending with a cold shower... or you can let me keep doing what I’m doing?” She soothed, her hand splaying on his chest. Experimentally she rocked her hips: the shiver that shot through both of them obvious, but it made her a little nervous too. There was a difference in him being turned on, and her being turned on. Deciding to change tact she shuffled down a little, so their pelvises were no longer in line, and used her hand instead, stroking him lightly through the thin fabric.</p></div><div><p>He could blame his over sensitivity on two things: her presence, there with him that morning - the fact it was her touching him, and her presence in the apartment over last few weeks, having enjoyed her staying over so often but felt it inappropriate to touch himself in the shower with her in the next room. He twitched under her curious palm, cock throbbing at the slightest contact. Not the least bit discouraged, her deft fingers gripped him gently through the fabric, sweeping his length the way she’d seen him start out last time. </p></div><div><p>“Is it okay if I... ?” Marinette asked gently. </p></div><div><p>“Yeah...” he breathed - wishing breathing came as easily in the moment her hand left his srousal and went to his hips, gently tugging his pyjama pants down.</p></div><div><p>Having been keenly aware of her gaze last time had nothing on this, with her position leaving her so far from his face he couldn’t steal a kiss or murmur conversation, could only be pinned by her blue eyes as she surveyed him carefully, before her hand returned to its previous task, wrapping around the base of his shaft and moving slowly, cautious at first but bolder with every passing second. </p></div><div><p>Adrien was embarrassed at how quickly he became a wreck beneath her hand, words escaping him and breath catching in his throat with every flick of her wrist. Because <em>Marinette</em> was touching him. <em>Ladybug</em> was touching him. Her hand felt so different to his own, lightly calloused slender fingers squeezing and massaging him unpredictably. His hips rocked a little to meet her every touch, amazed at how her face displayed wonder and a lack of fear as she stroked.</p></div><div><p>He tried to warn her he was close, but the word died on his lips before it had fully formed, his head digging into the pillows as he hit his peak, spending himself across his stomach and her fingers. Withdrawing, she cleaned her own hand off before passing him the tissues, giggling when he didn’t react save for blinking at the ceiling, dazed and sated.</p></div><div><p>“C’mon, handsome, you’re going to be late and you need to eat first.” She nudged his hip gently before hopping out of bed, vanishing into the kitchen to subtley avoid the post coital cuddle nerves. </p></div><div><p>On cloud nine for the second time that morning (there’d been clouds in the dream, hadn’t there, she vaguely recalled clouds), she busied herself making cereal for them both, familiar enough with Adrien’s kitchen to navigate the simple dish on autopilot. </p></div><div><p>“You seem happy.” Tikki mused. Glancing over her shoulder to make sure her boyfriend was still out of earshot, the young woman grinned and nodded. </p></div><div><p>“Good start to the morning.” She told the kwami. She’d <em>touched</em> Adrien! She’d done it! She felt invincible. Not that Tikki would understand the enormity of that... </p></div><div><p>“Where do you even go when I’m here?” She added, turning the kettle on. </p></div><div><p>“This place is big enough to hide in.” Reassured the ladybug goddess. “So you enjoyed your date?” </p></div><div><p>“It was lovely. He really is sweet.” She beamed, reading the labels on the coffee to differentiate - having largely switched to decaff herself now but knowing Adrien lived on caffeine and late nights. He’d been thoughtful enough to replace her usual beloved vanilla stuff with a decaff version of the same thing. </p></div><div><p>Adrien had finally got around to replacing her broken mug too, with another pink and white one - broad horizontal stripes this time. The decaff went in that one while the regular went in his rounded black one with the silver edging. </p></div><div><p>“Do you mind being alone so often? I feel guilty leaving you to your own devices so much.” Marinette admitted. </p></div><div><p>“I have you all day when he’s at school and you’re sewing, and I didn’t get to be my age without learning to entertain myself, you know. I’m fine with however much time you want to spend here.” Tikki promised, unable to tell her she was rarely actually alone when Marinette was with Adrien, because Plagg was always grateful for the company. She kissed Marinette’s cheek and then vanished through the floorboard to go back to her partner as Marinette’s own approached the kitchen. </p></div><div><p>“Good morning.” Adrien grinned, walking in fully dressed for the day and looking a little smug, the embarrassment at an early finish having faded away. He was counting any finish at all as a win. </p></div><div><p>“Good morning.” Marinette handed him his mug, and nodded at the bowl of cereal, milk jug on the table so it wouldn’t go soggy before he arrived.</p></div><div><p>“Mari, you really didn’t have to...” he said, awed. </p></div><div><p>“I wanted to. Besides... it’s my fault you’re going to be late to class.” She pointed out. </p></div><div><p>“Oh trust me, I’m never going to complain about that.” He promised, kissing her cheek and sitting down. </p></div><div><p>“There are worse reasons than an orgasm to be late, I suppose.” She mused, finishing her own cereal, having started sooner. She made short work of washing the bowl and hummed - she’d thrown her clothes in the laundry so she had two choices: do a load of washing, or head home in yesterday’s clothes to fetch more. </p></div><div><p>She had sewing to do today... </p></div><div><p>So she gave Adrien a quick hair ruffle before leaving, returning moments later with the wash basket. </p></div><div><p>“The whole domestic goddess thing is cute but you seriously don’t have to do laundry here, okay? That’s my problem and you’re swamped with work as it is.” </p></div><div><p>“I’m out of clean clothes.” She pointed out, lifting the top two items from the pile and proving they were her discarded clothes from the night before. “And as I need to wash my own anyway I might as well.” </p></div><div><p>“You’re...” he paused, finishing the last of his cereal. “You know... you wouldn’t run out of clean clothes if you... brought your clothes here.” He ventured carefully. She hummed and sat down on the floor.</p></div><div><p>“I guess I could bring some... it’d save time.” She agreed, nodding and crossing her legs as she separated the dark clothes from the light. </p></div><div><p>“I could clear out some wardrobe space? I need to move stuff around in there soon anyway as all the stuff Chloé bought needs somewhere to go and we’ll need a crib in there.” </p></div><div><p>“What?” She froze. </p></div><div><p>“You... plan on stopping sleeping over when the baby arrives?” He raised an eyebrow. He knew she hadn’t wanted to move in but they’d need to be set up if she intended to stay over. </p></div><div><p>“Oh... I... I just thought I’d bring the travel cot...” she murmured, suddenly looking a little lost. </p></div><div><p>Because bringing clothing over made sense. A cot for the baby made sense. The fact the baby had nearly as much clothing here as she had at her parents’ already made sense. The only thing that <em>didn’t</em> seem to make sense any more was trekking back to the bakery on nights when she wasn’t exhausted from work. And Adrien didn’t seem to mind the idea of her being around more often... <em>oh</em>. </p></div><div><p>Chloe’s words suddenly hit her. <em>If he says he’s in this 100%, he is in this 100%. Stop taking some ridiculous moral standing and worrying about what other people will think. </em></p></div><div><p>“I’m sorry, if I’m pushing then...” Adrien began gently. </p></div><div><p>“I’ll... it’s fine. I’ll figure something out.” She gave a small weak smile at the realisation that she’d sort of already moved in with him, given how often she stayed there. She hadn’t meant for that to happen... but it felt right, so far didn’t it? And hadn’t Alya also said not to worry about what other people thought? “You’re going to be late.” </p></div><div><p>“I overstepped...” he said softly. </p></div><div><p>“Adrien. Stop worrying that you’re going to break me! You didn’t overstep. I just... have some thinking to do.” Marinette smiled up at him and went back to sorting laundry, looking lost in thought. Adrien got down on to the floor with her and stilled her hands from their task until he caught her gaze.</p></div><div><p>“Hey.” He said gently. “Marinette... I’m trying not to worry so much okay, I don’t think you’re fragile. I just... I need you to know I’m not trying to trap you.” He whispered. “If you’re not comfortable bringing stuff here it’s okay, we’ll work it out as we go.” </p></div><div><p>“The opposite, Adrien.” The smile on her face was sweet and she shrugged. “We can talk about it <em>when you get home from school</em>.” With a whip so quick she might as well have been wielding a yo yo, she flicked him with a discarded t shirt and grinned. “Go.” </p></div><div><p>Adrien kissed her cheek and got to his feet, pausing between the mountains of laundry and looked down at her. </p></div><div><p>“Wait...” he frowned, backtracking as her words landed. “By <em>the opposite</em> you mean...” </p></div><div><p>“Don’t make me kick you out of your own apartment, Adrien. Go.” She pressed, shooing him away with a giggle.</p></div><div><p>Adrien practically skipped out, Plagg laughing in his pocket. </p></div><div><p>“Did she just move in?” Asked the kwami, cackling at his chosen’s face: struck dumb by elation. </p></div><div><p>“Maybe? If I’m lucky.” </p></div></div></div><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>No, she’s not just magically over it. No, Adrien’s not fine. But for now we get to let them dance and pretend like everything’s okay, shush.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which there is discussion of kittens. Warning for angst?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Bit of a time skip here, clarified within the text.</p><p>Ps. I’m super bad at naming heroes. Shut up.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p></p><div>
  <p>Marinette span rapidly, tearing through boxes and searching frantically. </p>
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  <p>“Woah, woah where’s the fire?” Adrien asked, hyper aware of her sudden panic and already on his feet to try quell it. </p>
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  <p>“I can’t find the... oh no, oh no, oh no. Stupid!” She fretted, surrounding by moving boxes and unable to find what she was searching for. Adrien paused. </p>
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  <p>“I moved a couple of boxes into the spare room already.” He offered. For nearly seven months pregnant, Marinette was quicker on her feet than he’d seen her in a while, pelting into the spare room with a speed that was more befitting her alter ego. Adrien followed her, worrying about what had gotten her so worked up. If he’d accidentally put something fragile on the bottom of the pile or something... </p>
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  <p> </p>
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  <p>Her face instantly calmed as she opened the first of the boxes that Adrien had set aside. </p>
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  <p>“Oh thank...” she whispered, breaking off before she could thank gods he shouldn’t know existed. </p>
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  <p>“Something important?” He said sheepishly. </p>
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  <p>“Oh uhm...” she paused and withdrew the object: Adrien was one of the only people in the world who would have recognised it for what it was: the miracle box. He’d been there and conscious when she’d received it, that day still a dark spot in their memories. The day they lost Fu. The day they lost all their teammates, no longer able to wield their miraculouses with their identities exposed to the enemy. Losing the box would be a disaster. </p>
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  <p> </p>
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  <p>No wonder she’d panicked.</p>
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  <p>“Emergency sewing kit.” She explained, pulling the bottom drawer of the desk out and setting the Ladybug patterned box carefully inside. “All my essentials for any job.” She said weakly, knowing the lie didn’t hold much water: she’d been sewing here for weeks and never needed it. Adrien only gave her a winning smile, content to play naive. </p>
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  <p> </p>
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  <p>“I can’t believe you’re moving in.” He said, amazed, and looking around at the chaos in the living room beyond the spare room. “We’re living together, Marinette!” </p>
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  <p>“My dad already cried, don’t you start.” Marinette warned, stepping into his arms.</p>
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  <p> </p>
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  <p>The last few weeks had brought Adrien’s birthday, which had been their first official public appearance since the announcement. Marinette had been anticipating cruel jibes but was surprised to find celebrities of all shapes and sizes sucking up to her for attention.</p>
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  <p> </p>
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  <p>Moving in had been something she discussed at length with Adrien, her parents, Alya and Nino, Tikki, and the rest of the kwamis (every kwami had a different, very loud opinion, which hadn’t helped). It wasn’t a decision she had taken  lightly: but Adrien had patiently waited for the official confirmation and been more than excited to move her things in.</p>
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  <p> </p>
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  <p>Under several conditions, because it was Marinette after all, and she never came without a plan. </p>
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  <p> </p>
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  <p><em>She paid her own share of the food and utility bills.</em> Adrien admittedly thought this was stupid - he had more than enough money to cover it, but she was adamant she would be paying her own way, so he accepted it as fact. Chloé had warned it would be a factor. Marinette insisted she’d have been paying the same sort of money if she’d stayed at her parents, who wouldn’t have been able to keep her and a baby under their roof for free. </p>
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  <p> </p>
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  <p><em>They each got time alone</em>. He was particularly grateful for this one, not wanting to have to sneak out when she was asleep to go patrol. He knew it meant she needed space to talk to the kwamis too - Tikki had quietly mentioned that issue and he was more than happy to agree. </p>
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  <p> </p>
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  <p><em>No more feeling guilty for sex stuff</em>. Adrien was still working on that one: she’d recently gotten very confident with her hands, he truly believed she wanted to do everything she did... but he was starting to feel inadequate that he couldn’t give her the same pleasure... not that she wanted him to. The secret identity thing was grating on his conscience too... would she be so willing to mess around with Cat Noir, after everything? If and when she eventually found out who he was: had he tricked her? Had he deceived his way into her bed? Tikki and Plagg still supported his thoughts that this way was the best way to avoid hurting her for now, but still... guilt was something he’d have to work on. </p>
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  <p> </p>
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  <p>The last condition was much easier for him than she realised.</p>
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  <p><em>She didn’t want to exclude the baby’s father</em>, she didn’t want to scrub him from her life. She needed Adrien to accept that she was happy to have him in the role of the baby’s father, happy for the world to believe he was, but that one day, when the circumstances changed, she would be telling her daughter and the man in question the truth. She’d sworn it wouldn’t change her relationship with Adrien, that she wasn’t pursuing anything romantic with the mystery man, she just wanted him to be a part of her life - when he could. Adrien had accepted that one with tears in his eyes for an entirely different reason than she suspected. </p>
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  <p> </p>
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  <p>“I have a lot of unpacking to do.” She kissed his cheek. </p>
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  <p>“I can help.” He clapped his hands and stared at the disarray. “Just tell me what to do.” </p>
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  <p>“Go order food. It’s going to be a long night.” She grinned. </p>
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  <p> </p>
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  <p>————————</p>
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  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Cat Noir would have been surprised to see them, had he not already received a tip off from Tikki that Ladybug would be dropping their miraculous off with a note saying they were now permanently entrusted with their jewellery. So the arrival of Tygress and Lupino on the rooftop in late November didn’t startled him too much. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He’d met them a few times before over the last two years, Ladybug had become hesitant to use allies (even when they were able to use their adult powers and capable of making the decision of taking the risk) since the miracle queen disaster. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Tygress was a young woman in a stripy suit. Her tiger mask covered and hid her entire face, only leaving glowing orange eyes visible. She had a temper like nothing Cat Noir had ever seen before and her roar was deafening. Truthfully he was a little scared of her. Lupino looked scary: he wielded the dog miraculous but looked more like a wolf, all shaggy and dishevelled with fur distorting his features. They’d quickly learned his attitude was far more laid back than his appearance gave away. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Answers, kitty cat. We want them.” Tygress did not sound happy, and crossed to him looking equal parts concerned and agitated. “Where’s Ladybug? What happened to Hawkmoth? Is he Gabriel Agreste? Was Adrien innocent? Why are we being roped in <em>now</em>?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Let the man breathe, babe.” Lupino said heavily, blocking her from jabbing Cat Noir in the chest as she ranted. “But yeah... what she said.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ladybug’s safe at her home, as far as I’m aware.” Cat Noir fielded. He assumed she was - he’d left her at her sewing machine after all. “Yes, Hawkmoth is Gabriel Agreste and no, I have no clue where he is. His son wasn’t aware of the fact. As for why you’re being recruited now... maybe it means Ladybug’s gone for good, I don’t know, she hasn’t told me.” He admitted: because Ladybug hadn’t yet contacted Cat Noir regarding their return to the scene. He wondered if he should feel offended that she’d not told him, or honoured that she trusted him? </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He could only step in to the leadership role and hope he was following her wishes. He liked to believe he knew her well enough to guess at her plan. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Why’d she quit? Why’d Hawkmoth vanish?” Lupino asked, staring out over the twinkling lights of the city. Cat Noir had the sudden mental image of him howling at the moon and stifled his laugh. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“He vanished because we found out who he was. She vanished because he found out who she was.” Cat Noir didn’t know if that was quite true: Hawkmoth almost certainly knew who he was, but there was no evidence to suggest he knew who she was yet - but given their public relationship it was highly likely. If Hawkmoth had been keeping an eye on Adrien... well, the math probably wasn’t that hard. He hadn’t had much say in that though, they’d already been together and her pregnancy was already public knowledge by the time he knew it was a risk. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>But it gave him a reasonable excuse. Tygress’ face fell. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She’s compromised.” She whispered.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes.” That at least was true, whether his father knew who she was or not. “If she’s given you your miraculous... she thinks you’ll be needed, at some point. She trusts you.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>It was only in that moment that he realised who Tygress and Lupino must be and nearly faltered. Of course Marinette would pick her allies based on who she trusted. The costumes were designed not only to disguise their civilian identities but to hide the fact they’d wielded different miraculous before. Of course she’d ask Alya and Nino for help if she needed it. The realisation that Adrien had always had his friends at his side bolstered his confidence and he smiled. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“If she’s able, she’ll come back when she can. For now she needs to lay low, protect her civilian bubble. So... welcome back Tygress. Welcome back Lupino. Here’s hoping you won’t be needed.” He offered them a fist to bump, the duo accepting it just as Cat Noir’s communicator chimed. “Speak of the devil...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He flipped open his baton to see Ladybug on the video phone - it took him only a moment to recognise that she’d thrown a white sheet up behind her to disguise what he assumed was the craft room. Aside from the shawl about her shoulders he couldn’t even tell her outfit was changed, the communicator focused on her face. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Evening, my lady.” He purred, pleased to see her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hey, Kitty... Are they already with you?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hey.” Lupino moved in so she could see him too. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hi.” Added Tygress, joining. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Not sure how much you wanted me to tell them, Bug. They already figured out Hawkmoth so... just told them that we don’t suspect the son and that you’re laying low because your identity is compromised.” He explained, in the hopes she wouldn’t contradict him. Ladybug smiled fondly, pleased at his plan: it was what she’d been about to suggest after all - she’d intended to call him before they arrived on the rooftop but Xuppu had been demanding attention. Cat Noir always seemed to read her mind.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She nodded before addressing the returning pair of heroes. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m around if it really comes down to the wire, but for now I’m on house arrest. Enter the Tiger and the Wolf. You two okay to help patrol, just keep an eye on things, an ear to the ground in case Hawkmoth comes back? If he returns Cat and I are the first to fall, we could do with back up.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Cat Noir didn’t have to wonder why she was enacting such a back up policy now, living with Marinette he had seen the toll the third trimester of her pregnancy was starting to take: she was slowing down. Past the point of kicking ornaments, she had reached a point where she’d likely be unable to physically fight at a moment’s notice and needed a safety net. He also chose not to point out that ‘Cat and I are the first to fall’ was inaccurate: He would be the one in the line of fire if Hawkmoth returned, he’d make sure of it.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She was labouring under the assumption Cat Noir, clueless to her circumstances, would call and drag her into it... he’d already thought it through. If Hawkmoth came back - he’d borrow Tikki, with or without Marinette’s approval. He’d face the devil himself if it meant protecting her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“So we’re going full time?” Lupino surmised. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“If you’re up for it?” Ladybug smiled, her eyes on Tygress who was jumping for joy. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I get to be a super hero! This is the best early Christmas present ever.” The tiger was practically dancing. Cat Noir tried not to snicker and Lupino only sighed: trying to balance his joy at being recruited with the sadness that it was necessary. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We beat the bastard, you can come back?” He asked. Ladybug gave a sad smile. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’ll be fine with or without my back up.” She reassured them, dodging the question. “Cat Noir knows how to contact me if you get a location on Hawkmoth.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’ve been working on a theory that he’s in London.” Tygress mused. “He’s got family there and it’s close enough to...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Theorise with Cat Noir. I have to go, my roommate will be home soon and if I get caught in the spots I’m in trouble. See you soon, hopefully.” Ladybug shut down the conversation quickly, and the communicator went dead. Cat Noir grimaced - she wanted to know but she definitely wasn’t up for spitballing and dwelling on false hopes. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“So... London.” He mused. He doubted Aunt Amelie would put him up. Felix on the other hand... </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>—————— </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Your aunt called.” Marinette said. Early December had brought a lot of work Adrien’s way, hoping that booking several shoots and appearances before the baby arrived in early February would give him a little more leeway afterward. It also gave him more opportunity to sneak out as Cat Noir, not that she needed to know that. Coming home to her was perfection: his idea of domestic bliss in that she didn’t seem to have moved from the sofa he’d left her on hours ago, curled up with paperwork and a striped pink mug of hot chocolate that had long since been finished. He slid down onto the sofa beside her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh? Did she leave a message?” He wondered, arm wrapping around her waist. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No, she just wanted our address for Christmas cards. I told her you’d call her back with it - I figured I didn’t know her voice to be sure it was her and not a weird fangirl who got your number somewhere.” He couldn’t fault her reasoning - that and he knew they both independently wondered if she was in contact with Gabriel. There was a chance his gentle probing into goings on on that side of the pond had spurred her phone call. Best to err on the side of caution. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Our address.” He grinned. “<em>Our</em> address, you live here!” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“For like a month now. Keep up.” Marinette giggled, cuddling into him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’ll never not be excited about it.” Adrien beamed, surveying her.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette had shared her concerns at an early appointment he’d attended with her that her bump had been on the small side. The doctors had explained that the baby herself was fine, just growing inward as Marinette had a ‘rather impressive wall of muscle’ that made it harder for the bump to expand. Apparently the baby had finally managed to make herself known, muscle and all, the bump had doubled in size over the last few weeks and she was finally measuring outwardly on level for her weeks gestation. It meant she’d barely left the house though, under constant surveillance by photographers. Ever expanding, but shrinking out of the public eye. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Mmhmm. We’ll see if you still feel the same when I’m clattering around with a screaming baby at 3am.” She hummed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’ll be right there clattering around with you.” Adrien kissed her forehead in promise, ignoring her amused snort. He would. He fully intended to pull his weight - more than, if necessary, under the circumstances. She’d seemed better lately, but he was painfully aware of the tension bubbling under the surface, the secrets she was keeping or trying to keep, in order to protect them all. At the very least she seemed to be relaxing more and he was counting that as a win. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“There’s a bunch of cheesy Christmas movies on, if you want to watch?” She suggested, nodding at the television. She’d flicked through earlier but nothing had kept her attention long.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette was in fact far from relaxed, she was restless. She had nothing against people who stayed home and cooked and cleaned but she was <em>bored</em> - there was only so much sewing she could do in a day, it was work after all - she wasn’t designing to her own tastes but to order. She’d made the apartment spotless numerous times over the last few weeks, and she’d cooked enough food in advance to store in the freezer pretty much until she gave birth, with the intention of replacing meals as she went, so there’d be healthy food that didn’t involve calling for takeout or suffering through Adrien’s experimental cooking when she was too tired to cook. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She got the kwamis out in shifts every time Adrien went to school or wanted his time alone, and had to admit she missed Roaar and Barkk. Acquiring baby things (not clothes, the baby had far far too many clothes) took up a little time but she’d never realised shopping could be tedious. At least she could buy things in her favourite colour there though... </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Mostly she missed being active. What did people without super powers even do all day? Google said no exercise bike, no excessive strain, she wasn’t even allowed to go for a run... not that she could run much these days. Waddling was probably more the word for it - her entire gait was wonky, her hips not quite where she remembered them being. And then there was the sense that she resented her child a little for it... something she didn’t dare vocalise. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Absently she wondered if everyone who was so excited for the baby would wonder if she was a monster. She was supposed to love her own child - wasn’t she? It wasn’t that she hated her or anything, she was a baby... or would be, eventually... she’d done nothing wrong, and she was half her and half Cat Noir. In herself she was nothing to fear.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette was afraid anyway. She’d read so many stories where women felt that rush of love the moment they held their baby and she was terrified it wouldn’t come. Scared the memory of her conception would mar her existence, that the temporary restlessness of being stuck at home would only become more intense when she was the primary caregiver for an entire new person. It wasn’t like she could just pop the baby out and get right back to being Ladybug - there’d be a recovery period, and then there was the matter of babysitters. She could hardly expect Adrien to just watch her all on his own while she ran around with Cat Noir where she wasn’t really needed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>And if she was needed? If Hawkmoth returned before she was ready to fight him? She’d never felt so helpless, and it wasn’t a sensation she was used to. She was a super hero for kwami’s sake! Still, she nuzzled into Adrien’s shoulder as he flicked through Christmas themed movies. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Adrien...” she murmured, an idea forming in her head. She wanted to feel like her old self again... there was <em>something</em> she could think of. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hm?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Can you do my hair?” She’d initially dismissed that one on the list as silly, but had quickly learned she liked it - and he enjoyed it as much as she did. She definitely preferred him tying her hair up to tying her shoelaces... which she was going to need to ask for help with soon if she wanted to leave the house. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’ll go grab your hairbrush.” He kissed her head and then paused. “Promise me if and when we start having sex I can still do your hair?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“If I say no are you going to hold out on me?” Marinette teased, Adrien looked as though he was seriously considering it and she giggled at the feigned dilemma. “Yes, you can still brush my hair.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He disappeared into the bedroom, returning with her hairbrush while she found her hair ties. Kneeling on the floor was a little harder these days, but she wasn’t going to let it beat her, setting herself between his splayed knees and ignoring the discomfort.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Thought any more about names yet?” He asked gently as he untwisted hair from where it had worked free of the pink bobble. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No.” She lied. She’d thought a lot about them, but every time she thought of something she thought of Cat Noir.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Would he hate it? Did he have a sister with that name? What was his girlfriend called? She didn’t know the first thing about him, really. And yet she’d loved him... or thought she had. The thought made her stomach twist now, that perhaps she’d been too quick to define the feelings she had? At the time she’d been so sure.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I just... I feel like her father should have a say in her name.” She confessed. Adrien’s brush paused mid stroke. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You said you left things on good terms last time? Friends again?” He murmured. She nodded, causing the brush to yank. “Hell, sorry you okay?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ouch yes, sorry that was my fault. Yes, we did.” She agreed, smiling as he kissed her head where he’d tugged when she moved, as if it would soothe a sting that had ended the moment it started. She appreciated the gesture anyway.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Text him.” Adrien said softly, making a mental note to run through the baby book before she messaged his alter ego. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I can’t even tell him I’m pregnant.” She sighed, leaning into the brush as he finished fanning it out. He’d forgotten, momentarily, that Cat Noir wasn’t supposed to know, only by virtue of the fact he was Cat Noir and he very much did know. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Uhm... tell him it’s a cat you’re naming?” He suggested. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You really want a baby called Mister Mittens?” Marinette snorted and Adrien tried not to laugh.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Okay, she had a fair point, that would <em>absolutely</em> be what he named a cat, he’d have to suggest getting an actual cat when the baby was older. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“That’s just ridiculous... she’s Miss Mittens, obviously.” He corrected her. “You got your hair tie?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hm...” Marinette paused before handing him two. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He seemed to realise the significance, pausing as he took both of them, before starting to part her hair down the middle. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Just tell him you’d prefer your cat to have less... cutesy names?” He whispered - awed that she wanted her bunches back. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Maybe.” She hummed. It wasn’t a terrible idea, Cat Noir would probably appreciate a light hearted conversation, especially if it contained tidbits of her real life (not that it was actually real) he’d always enjoyed that. And there’d be potential for a back and forth in a text conversation right? So even if she hated his suggestions she could get his opinion on hers. “Would you be okay with that?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes.” He promised. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Hesitating she murmured. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You could pick the middle name?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hm...” that didn’t seem fair. He could wind up picking first and middle names that way. “How about I pick her last name?” He purred, never one to resist the opportunity. She tensed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’ve already told you I want to marry you, hoping you’ll say yes one day. Might as well match?” He prompted. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Adrien... I love you.” She said firmly, as he fastened her left pigtail. He was definitely expecting to hear the <em>but we’ve only been together six months </em>conversation he was tired of again and not her actual response of “But I’m not taking your name.” The hair tie he was working into her right pigtail trapped his finger at her comment, surprised. “Absolutely no offence meant but... my mother kept her name. I got both my parents’ names and... and triple barrelling seems insane. Plus...” He could hear how tentative her next words were before she voiced them. “I don’t want Hawkmoth having any association with her.” She whispered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Fuck.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien hadn’t even thought of that. It should have been an obvious reason to avoid it. Hell, he was tied to the label but... </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I could take yours?” He fastened her pigtail properly, amazed they were even having this conversation... they were talking about marriage and she <b>hadn’t said no</b>. “All done.” He murmured. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“The press would go insane if you took my name.” She pointed out, standing up and crossing to the mirror over the mantel. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Good. Let them. It’s the twenty first century. Besides I don’t want to be associated with him either.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette stared at her own reflection - her pigtails back in pride of place. She jutted out her chin a little, examining herself critically. A little older, a little more war torn. Still Ladybug. Still Marinette. Adrien’s reflection appeared behind her, and she felt his arms wrap around her waist. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Welcome back?” He whispered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Getting there.” She agreed. “We’ll revisit the last name thing... but please think about a middle name?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I will.” He kissed her jaw. “If I’ve not told you lately, you’re beautiful.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You told me this morning.” Marinette reminded him, turning in his arms and wrapping hers about his shoulders. “Still, I don’t feel like it lately, so the reminders are nice.” She said appreciatively. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re a charmer, huh?” Marinette was vaguely aware that the bump prevented her getting quite as close as she’d like - she’d intended the move to be a sexy cuddle, but there were a good few inches of space between their chests. She pouted. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I try.” He said softly, eyeing her bottom lip as it stuck out. He wondered how he’d ever fought the urge to kiss her at her eighteenth birthday party. The urge coming so seemingly out of the blue had probably been the only reason, he surmised. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well it’s working.” She hummed. “Bedroom?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Mmhmm. Can I carry you?” He wondered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t know, can you?” She laughed and earned a grin. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m not just pretty, you know.” He beamed, bending and sweeping her off her feet. She squeaked and gripped him for balance, but wasn’t unnerved as she had been in London: he’d asked, for one thing. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien hadn’t stopped his training, and even with the baby and without his suit, she wasn’t heavy. Carrying her was no problem. Adrien lay her down on the bed amid a flurry of giggles. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You really think you’re smooth, don’t you?” She teased. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well not to brag or anything but my girlfriend loves it.” He slid into the space beside her. She surveyed him carefully, scrunching her nose. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Does she now? I have it on good authority she prefers it when you get all flustered. Can I give you a blowjob?” She didn’t hesitate as she spoke, smirking. Adrien paused, genuinely thrown. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well... I guess she... I mean... wait... did you just out manoeuvre me?” He gawked. She nodded, smiling wryly.  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien blinked, face flushing a furious pink amid her giggle. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I...” <em>Words. Remember how to... words</em>. He’d been planning on kissing her, but seeing her propped up on one elbow with her pigtails in and her bottom lip between her teeth, a wicked glint in her eye had thrown him completely. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I broke you again, huh?” She mused, tipping her head and watching him in amusement. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“N...no I just...” He was torn. On the one hand... abso-fucking-lutely, it wasn’t like he’d been fantasising about that particular act with her (well... Ladybug at the time) since Nino had explained (through fits of laughter) what one was when they were sixteen. On the other hand... “Marinette, this is starting to feel a little... imbalanced.” He said carefully. She raised an eyebrow. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien sighed - this wasn’t going to be a comfortable conversation. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“C’mere.” He murmured, sitting against the headboard. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I... didn’t expect resistance here.” She said, curious, but she shuffled into his arms all the same. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Okay so...” Adrien hummed, staring at the ceiling in thought of how to phrase it for a moment, before squeezing her shoulder gently. “So I like... I like it when you...” he took a deep breath. Marinette had developed a habit of getting him off, and he loved it - her hand felt better than his own ever would, her lips against his own as he hit his peak was always a dizzying sensation - but he felt guilty all the same. Despite promising her that he wouldn’t feel that way. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The fact she didnt know just who she was stroking to completion didn’t help, but largely it was the idea that she wasn’t getting anything out of it. Maybe at first it had been a confidence boost... maybe he shouldn’t have stopped her tonight? He just wanted to make sure she felt pleasure, rather than that she was touching him out of some misplaced sense of duty or obligation as his girlfriend. Phrasing that was almost impossible though. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I know you’re more comfortable touching me than you are being touched. I’m not trying to push for that.” He clarified. “I just... it’s starting to feel a little... unfair.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh.” She whispered. “Okay...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I just... I’m wondering if there’s <em>anything</em> I can do for you? That you would be comfortable with? I mean you didn’t start off by touching me you just watched right? Maybe you could...” he began. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No.” She cut him off. The thought of being watched made her skin crawl - images of Cat Noir’s claws being too sharp to use his fingers flashing in front of her eyes. He’d watched her meaning Hawkmoth had watched her too. She closed her eyes tightly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Okay...” he agreed gently, understanding the issue. “Maybe I could...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No.” She said again, without even hearing the suggestion. He’d been about to suggest talking her through a fantasy or something - the list had mentioned it and she’d tried that for him at first. Hell, he could still hear her little whispered speech about riding him when he needed to get there. She’d told him she got off thinking about him thinking about her, hadn’t she? Maybe she’d like to hear some of the thoughts that occurred to him when his mind wandered in that direction? </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette pulled away. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I think I’m just going to get back to sewing.” She murmured, clambering slowly from the bed wondering why he was bringing all this up now. He’d seemed happy with how things were up until this point. She’d already started to feel so useless with the outside world stuff, and had been fooling herself that at least things were fine in the little bubble they’d created. Tears sprang to her eyes, feeling she was letting him down. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Mari, I didn’t mean...” he started, worrying he’d upset her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Adrien. I need some time alone, okay?” She didn’t look back as she said it, leaving the room. Adrien groaned and slammed his head into the pillow. That had not gone well. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Minutes dragged by, but he didn’t hear the familiar roar of her sewing machine. He bit his lip, hoping she wasn’t crying. Or worse, panicking. She’d said she wanted to be alone... invading her privacy was the last thing he wanted to do, especially now. Still after half an hour of laying in silence, the guilt curdling his stomach, he forced himself out of bed and collected her mug from the living room table. A peace offering. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>When the hot chocolate was made, marshmallows and all, he approached the spare room (for all intents and purposes it was her craft room now) and knocked gently. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hey uh... you don’t have to talk to me I just... I made you a hot chocolate.” When no answer came he sighed heavily. “Mari?” He knocked again, a little firmer. Nothing. Cautiously he cracked the door open, hoping she’d fallen asleep at her machine again. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The first thing he noted was that the room was empty. The second thing he realised was the temperature - the entire room chilled due to an open window. Eyes wide he span around so fast the hot chocolate splashed down his shirt. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Plagg?” He hissed, setting the mug on the coffee table and pulling his shirt away from his chest to ease the sting. Plagg emerged from behind the speaker. “Is Tikki here?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“They went out.” Plagg said calmly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Why didn’t you tell me?!” Adrien demanded. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Because you upset her! What’d you do anyway?” His kwami sounded equally angry. He’d grown very fond of Marinette, and while he loved Adrien he knew his holder was not always the most tactful. Either way with so much talk of respecting her privacy and space he hadn’t thought it right to fetch Adrien. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I... ugh. What do I do? Do I go after her or...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Not as yourself because she’s not herself.” Plagg sighed. “She was crying... she could probably use a friend right now.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah... yeah, you’re right.” He sighed, nodding. “Plagg, Claws out!” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The green flash of light enveloped him as his transformation took. He didn’t normally leave from the apartment but... needs must, and the craft room window was round the back of the building, where the only real risk of being seen was if someone happened to be skirting the alleyway at the time. The moment the leather settled, his baton beeped. Unsurprised he found a text from Ladybug. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>I’m on a rooftop somewhere around Fountain Avenue, if you’re playing out? LB </em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Fountain Avenue. She hadn’t even left the neighbourhood, she was a couple of streets over. Careful not to be seen, he checked the alleyway was empty and slipped out the same window she’d made her escape from, launching himself onto the next building and scaling his way up to the roof so if she happened to be looking in his direction it looked like he came from further away, before bouncing back. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>It didn’t take long to find her, red costume startlingly bright in the grey December evening. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hey Bug.” He greeted, settling on the edge of the rooftop. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hey Kitty.” Her shawl was now a full cape, shielding the bump where her skirt could no longer hide it. Careful not to unnerve her he moved closer, but not enough to unsettle her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ladybug had already been there on her own for twenty minutes or so, lost in thought and uncertain Cat Noir would even show. She had struggled to get to the rooftop, her balance thrown off by her weight distribution changing, and even though she knew she was impervious to harm, the subconscious urge to protect the bump as she moved made jumping from building to building more difficult. She was completely out of practice and felt less Ladybug like than she ever had. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What would you name a cat?” She asked, curiously. It took everything Cat Noir had not to smile. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Entirely depends on what the cat looked like. If he was a handsome guy with a sleek black coat then Noir, obviously.” He smirked, watching her face soften. “A scruffy ginger thing? Oliver. A purebred white fluffy thing with blue eyes would have to be Princess.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re terrible at this.” She laughed, shaking her head. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Probably a good thing we never did hook up then, I’ve got my heart set on a hamster named Mister Cheeks.” He teased. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh god.” She covered her eyes with gloved fingers, trying to stifle her laughter. “I prefer human style names. A female kitten, with a human name. Go.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Beau?” He hummed, watching her nose wrinkle. He hadn’t had time to go through the baby book and if he was honest, he’d got the name Beau from looking at his staff. Crap, he really hadn’t thought this through. “Bridgette?” Another nose scrunch. Quickly running through a list of every name he knew he rapidly fired out a few. “Lisette? Jacqueline? Margot?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hm...” she didn’t sound enamoured. “My boyfriend and I got a kitten. She... doesn’t have a name yet. I...” she paused and stared at the skies for a long moment. “Am I a horrible person for not wanting a kitten?” She wondered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Cat Noir felt his stomach drop.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Oh.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He’d been expecting a light hearted conversation: a distraction from their earlier disagreement, perhaps, or considered that maybe she’d wanted to see Cat Noir to reaffirm she wasn’t as scared of the sex stuff as she’d once been. Apparently her head was elsewhere though, her thoughts darker than even he knew. December was starting to set in cold and dark, and hesitantly he sat down beside her.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I mean... a kitten’s a big commitment.” He said carefully, his mouth dry. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Right!” She agreed vehemently. “It’s not that I don’t like kittens! I mean I wanted a kitten one day! Just...” she broke off, sighing heavily. “I’m being stupid. Ignore me.” She muttered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Quickly, fearing that if she shut down now with him, she’d never mention her concerns to Adrien, he jumped in with: </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s not stupid, Bug.” She always said that... how knocked was her confidence, he wondered, that she always thought her own feelings were wrong? “It’s a big change. I mean... sharing your space with a kitten’s hard work, isn’t it? And you’ve not been with your boyfriend that long so if it’s a joint endeavour it’s a big step. Feeling uneasy about it sounds pretty normal.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Everyone else is so excited about this... this little ball of fluff that’s changing everything.” She murmured, wrapping her arms around herself as if the cape wasn’t enough to protect her from the cold. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“And you’re not.” He concluded, feeling awful. How had he missed this? He knew she hadn’t been happy initially but... she’d been coming round to the idea, hadn’t she? </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ladybug hummed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m not.” She agreed gently. She couldn’t even begin to touch on how it was affecting her physically: there was only so far the kitten analogy could take her. That was the biggest issue in her head, she was vulnerable, physically in a way she’d never been before. She couldn’t fight, or flee. Unable to even tie her own shoelaces... and she was supposed to adjust to that? To carry on. Adrien had borne the brunt of it that night, she couldn’t explain to him how weird it felt to view her own body sexually when she felt far from attractive, and had another man’s child moving around in her abdomen. The baby was making everything so much more difficult. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p><em>I’d be better by now if it wasn’t for her</em>. Ladybug thought, peering out across rooftops. Cat Noir focused on her face, how sad and lost she looked as she stared out over the city, unaware of his gaze on her.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What kind of a monster doesn’t love a kitten?” She whispered, broken. He wanted to tell her it was understandable - but he wasn’t supposed to know the circumstances. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re not a monster.” Cat Noir settled on. How could he blame her, knowing everything she’d been through? Except... part of him did blame her. As much as he hated to admit it. A tiny part of him wanted to yell, in defence of their daughter, that none of it had been her fault. That she deserved Marinette’s love, even if he didn’t. He didn’t think she was a monster but... it still hurt. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t hate it.” Ladybug clarified, and Cat Noir wished she’d stop referring to her as it. “But I don’t... I don’t love it either. I’m just... not ready. But I don’t have a choice - it’s here and I just have to accept that, right?” Sounding so miserable as she said it, Cat Noir’s heart broke. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He’d promised Marinette that he wouldn’t pressure her... but moving in had been his idea. Taking on the baby, the role of father, had been his idea. Marriage had been his idea. The little domestic bubble he had thought they were building together was his dream, not hers. She loved him, he knew that but the notion that he’d been pushing all along, without even realising it caused his breath to catch in his chest. He clenched his fists tightly, trying to fight the urge to scream. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well... it’s... it’s a conversation you’d need to have with your boyfriend but...” his stomach twisted in pain. He couldn’t force her to go through with it, whatever his feelings on the matter were. She hadn’t come to Adrien with this problem for a reason. She wanted her friend here. She wanted impartiality. “You <em>could</em> always rehome the kitten.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p><em>Adoption</em>. His hands shook and he rubbed them together to disguise the fact, hoping he’d come across as cold rather than anxious. They were talking about giving their daughter up and he had to remain as neutral as possible, supporting her. He felt sick with suppressed emotion. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s not... I <em>want</em> to be excited about it.” She said gently, shaking her head. “I just... it’s little. And it needs protecting! And that’s my job now? I mean... what if it you know... chews wires or falls out of a window or something?” Translation: what if Hawkmoth comes after her. “And even if did rehome it... her...” Cat Noir wondered if there was anything positive to glean from the fact she’d corrected the pronoun on her own “which... it’s not what I want either, I wouldn’t know she was loved there? And safe there? How do I know it’s not chewing wires or falling out of windows with her new owners?!” Hesitating he assessed the situation, staring at her, nervous and awkward as she was in that moment. He’d seen her like this before... she was afraid. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It... sorry I... is it that you don’t love her, or you’re scared that you won’t?” He asked, unsure which issue to tackle as they were very different things. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“A little of both.” She mumbled. “I mean... I’m not there yet but it’s a big change right? But what if I never get there? What if I don’t ever feel like that? What if I can’t look it in the eye? What if all our family and friends adore the thing and I can’t...” She whispered, eyelashes growing sticky with tears. <em>What if I can’t look my daughter in the eye? </em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p><em>Oh. </em>He blinked<em>. </em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>“The way I see it...” Cat Noir said carefully. “And I don’t mean to overstep, so tell me to shut up if you want.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Never.” She mumbled, averting her gaze so he wouldn’t see her cry. He smiled weakly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“If you’re worried that you’re not going to love her... I think you’re already half way there.” He spoke gently. “Based entirely on what you’ve said... You’re scared she’s going to chew wires and stuff - that’s protection. You’re concerned nobody else would love her enough - That’s nurture. You <em>want</em> to want her - so you care about how well she’s taken care of. If you’re not fully there yet... that’s fine. Who said you had to be? It’s a big change and it takes time to adjust to... you know... a kitten. Cats are stupid, she won’t know the difference if it doesn’t happen right away.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>To his surprise, Ladybug lay her head on his shoulder, exhaling heavily. She was touching him, of her own free will, without panicking. He tried not to feel reassured by that, but it eased the guilt of knowing he was still hiding his identity. If it ever came to light... maybe she wouldn’t react so badly? Not that he was going to burden her with that fact any time soon, not when she was already struggling. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“How...” she murmured softly. “Do you always know just what to say?” <em>I have a definite advantage in this situation</em> was what he thought. What he said was: </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I happen to be Paris’s leading expert on cats!” Earning him an annoyed huff (that was just a shade too exaggerated to be genuine irritation) as she sat up.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She’d barely touched him for thirty seconds before moving away, and he could see the panic already in her eyes. She’d overstepped her own boundaries. She was still afraid of him, despite her assurances that she wasn’t. Baby steps though, she had definitely made some progress and he was going to count that as a win. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She still needs a name.” She murmured, and he pretended not to notice her gaze flick down to her abdomen for a millisecond as she spoke. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Maybe it’d help if you named her. A pet owner bonding thing?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Maybe, but you are the leading expert on cats, after all.” Her deflection skills were phenomenal, he’d give her credit there. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Fuzzbutt.” He joked, delighting in her half laugh. “Cookie. Whiskers McFish. Oreo Fluff the third.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Stop!” She giggled. “Ugh, you’re not allowed to name things. How does your girlfriend put up with you?” She asked shaking her head, still snickering.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She was going to have to leave soon. He could tell from the slump of her shoulders that she’d worried herself to the point of exhaustion again, and hopefully she’d at least sleep better having had a laugh and a moment away from her real life. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Madeleine.” He said softly. Ladybug’s eyes widened a little behind their mask. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Your girlfriend’s name’s Madeleine? You’re not supposed to tell me things from your real life...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No. No, not my... I meant... I was making a serious suggestion for the kitten.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh.” She jolted. “Why Madeleine?” He stood as she made to get to her feet, offering his hand to help her up, knowing how difficult it was for her lately. She took it and held her cape tightly, shielding the bump from view. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“...I’m hungry and the Dupain-Cheng bakery isn’t far from here?” He shrugged. “Honestly though... I just like the name and Maddy’s pretty cute for short.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Thank you. For tonight. I... I needed someone to tell me I’m not crazy.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We’re voluntarily on a rooftop in <em>December</em>... we’re both certifiably insane.” He grinned. “But it’s always good to see you. On the other end of the bug phone if you need me.” He made to wave her off, knowing she’d give him a few minutes to go before she set off so as not to accidentally follow - she always did. He wanted to head off first, if only to start the bath water running, Paris was freezing in December and even in the cape she had to be cold, he certainly was. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Wait.” She called him back and once more he expected a sudden confession from her, safety be damned. Instead he got “Tygress and Lupino... are they managing?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We’re happy to welcome you back when you’re ready, but for now we’re doing okay on our own. No news to report. I promise.” He swore, wriggling his fingers and launching himself off of the wrong side of the roof. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ladybug always gave him a minute or two after leaving before she left, just in case she accidentally caught him entering his own house. In the short interval between him taking off and her setting off, she worried about the fact she’d run to Cat Noir the moment she got scared... </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He was detransformed and had the hot tap running when she emerged from her sewing room, cheeks flushed from the cold. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m sorry.” Was the very first thing he said. She blinked, thrown for a second before remembering why she’d gone out in the first place. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Don’t be.” Within the few seconds it took her to cross the room she was in his arms, cuddling him tightly about the waist. “Please, don’t be sorry. You were right and it isn’t fair, I promise I am working on it.” Her cheek was cold against his chest, and he rubbed her back gently. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No, no, I was definitely wrong. I was pushing you into something you’re not comfortable with. I didn’t intend for you to feel like you were doing something wrong in not letting me touch - that’s not what I meant. I like your attentions... I just... want it to be good for you too. I don’t want you to feel like sex is something where you have to...” he sighed. He wasn’t good at explaining. “It’s not something you owe me and I didn’t mean to pressure you.” He babbled, kissing the top of her head. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>For a long moment they held each other, relaxing into each other’s embrace before she realised the bath water was running. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Want some company?” She suggested, unaware the bath had been started for her rather than him.  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Absolutely. I made you a hot chocolate but you didn’t answer when I knocked so it’s probably cold by now...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m so sorry, I fell asleep at the machine.” She apologised quickly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I figured it was either that or you were still mad... I’ll go finish the bath while you get your swimsuit on.” He placed a kiss on her cheek, but she didn’t let him leave, tugging him back into the cuddle. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Can we put the Christmas tree up tomorrow?” She murmured. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes. I’m home all day so... yes.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He was looking forward to it. There was something very real about decorating their home for their first real Christmas together, that felt more like the beginnings of a family tradition. The warm glow of fairy lights typically associated with the season, were now permanently associated in his head with Marinette, her balcony, her old bedroom, their first official date. Watching them become theirs was solid evidence that they were really a couple. The way she nuzzled his collarbone suggested she felt the same. Maybe he had rushed her to move in but... she had to be happy with him, right? She was always saying she wouldn’t be there if she didn’t want to be...</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I love you.” He said softly.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I love you, too, Adrien.” She promised him. He noticed her hand fall to the baby bump and kissed her again to wipe the worry from her brow.</p>
</div><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Beware: the next chapter contains a return to the actual plot. </p><p>Honestly all your nice comments bring the hugest smiles to my face. Thank you all for reading.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which the author has not forgotten there was a plot to this story, I promise.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>MERRY CHRISTMAS. I know it’s February but shush.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div>
  <p>“Okay - I officially hate Christmas!” Adrien declared, sat cross legged amid a tangled rope of fairy lights. Marinette laughed at the state of him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No, you don’t.” She pointed out, abandoning the glittery strips of tinsel she’d been rummaging through to help him unknot the lights. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“True, but I swear I didn’t put these back in this state last year.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“They’re like headphone cables, they tangle all on their own.” She promised, finding an end to the wire and working from there, looping it around her arm with every knot she solved. It took everything Adrien had not to bat the strand of lights as they swung in his direction. <em>Must not behave like a cat in front of Marinette</em>. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Their entire apartment smelled of cinnamon. Marinette had got up at the ungodly hour of 4.30am to pee (because a certain hairless kitten appeared to have shoved her bladder completely out of place lately) and wound up lost in worries and unable to sleep, so she’d decided to get dressed and start baking: it seemed like a sensible thing to do at the time. A tray of cinnamon cookies, a batch of white chocolate madeleines and a tin full of snowflake shaped shortbread later was when Adrien had awoken to gently encourage her to call it a day on the sugar rush. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Normally, she’d make breakfast, but had been so exhausted by the time she’d finished baking their morning meal had consisted of snacking on confectionary: but Marinette reasoned that was okay because she was pregnant and it was Christmas, therefore chocolate for breakfast was acceptable, right? </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Naked and a little sparsely branched, the plastic tree stood in the middle of the living room, a towering eight feet tall. When the lights were finally untangled, he was the one to stand on the chair to loop the wire at the top, her pregnancy limiting her ability to balance so precariously. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The radio blared a cheery Clara Nightingale Christmas number, and had they not had such a heavy conversation about it last night, Adrien would have been oblivious to any lingering concerns she still had as she pottered around the room singing along and wearing tinsel around her neck like a scarf. Perhaps their talk had helped, or maybe the spirit of Christmas was serving as a pleasant distraction. Maybe she was just better at hiding her emotions than he’d given her credit for. While Adrien took care of the top of the tree, she draped tinsel and hung baubles on the lower branches, her hand occasionally resting on her swollen abdomen. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Adrien.” She murmured, peering up at him. He had to part the branches to see her clearly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hm?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“C’mere a minute.” She whispered. He hopped down, landing in a crouch in front of her and resisted the urge to give her a cat like quip as he stood up. Silently she took his hand and drew it to her stomach. A beat and then his eyes widened. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She’s kicking...” he breathed. Every instinct in his body told him this was an exciting moment: she’d been kicking for a while, but he’d never actually felt her move... whether that was because Marinette had not been drawing attention to it or because the baby hadn’t been strong enough to feel from the outside before he wasn’t sure. Her skin rippled beneath his palm, with another sharp movement from their daughter. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Mmhmm. She is.” Unsure of what to do with her facial expression, Marinette watched him instead, so he allowed the wonder he felt to show on his own features. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Mari...” he didn’t know what to say. He kissed her instead. Lips sweetened by sugar cookies and vanilla coffee, the kiss was gentle and he only hoped it served to calm her state of mind. He was supposed to be oblivious to her worries, after all - she’d told Cat Noir not Adrien, and if he did an about turn now he’d likely worry her. He recalled her words from the first scan they’d attended together <em>you be happy, maybe it will rub off on me</em>. He could keep trying that. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She wrapped her arms loosely around his shoulders, remaining close when the kiss broke she murmured </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What do you think about Madeleine?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I think there’s about fifty in the kitchen because you got carried away nesting this morning.” Adrien grinned, watching her nose scrunch adorably. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I meant for her name but if everyone’s going to jump straight to food...” she huffed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I like it.” Of course he did, he’d thought of it. He nudged her nose gently with his own. “She has a name then?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I think so. You can think of a middle name if you like? Something between the ‘leine’ and ‘dupain’ to make it flow better?” Marinette suggested, the baby giving another kick against Adrien’s stomach this time as they cuddled. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“How about we go through the book together tonight?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“If you want...” she hummed unenthusiastically. “C’mon, the tree’s still half naked.” She tapped his shoulder and whirled around to the distraction. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>In her element, finishing the tree took half the time. Adrien took care of the ceiling decorations while she stuck foil snowflakes to the windows. Stepping back to admire their handiwork, Adrien felt a flush of pride. Silver, white, gold and glitter shone everywhere, the soft glow of the fairy lights making it feel a good degree or two warmer than the December chill offered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Combining that with the smell of freshly baked cookies, with Marinette pregnant with his child and standing by his side Adrien felt he’d made it. This was everything he’d ever wanted. Regardless of how it had come about... </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Marry me.” He blurted. To her credit she didn’t even look surprised, shaking her head and smirking. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re drunk on Christmas.” She chided, tapping him on the nose. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes. But marry me anyway?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Stop asking me at stupid moments and maybe I’ll say yes.” She laughed, bending to pick up the empty box of decorations and flinching. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Let me get that.” He offered, dipping to take it from her.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I can handle it on my own.” She growled and he backed off, hands raised. Immediately she grimaced. “Sorry... sorry I just... feel a bit useless lately. I can manage a box.” Scooping it up in her arms she straightened up. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Okay.” He nodded. “You can manage it. But for the record: you’re definitely not useless.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Feel it.” She muttered darkly, depositing the empty box back into the cupboard it came from. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Slowing down starting to get to you?” He prompted, hoping to gain better insight as Adrien.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I can’t even tie my own shoes, Adrien. This whole pregnancy thing is... it’s frustrating. I want to go for a jog or something.” She whined. He knew she actually meant scaling the Eiffel Tower or punching a mugger, but nodded all the same, figuring it was like an Olympic sprinter breaking their leg or something. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You know the best thing about pregnancy, Marinette?” He ventured, settling one hand at her hip and stepping closer.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh I’m sure you’re bound to tell me.” She grumbled.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s <em>temporary</em>.” He whispered. “I know how much you value your independence. I know you’re the strongest woman I’ve ever met... and I don’t just mean the mental and emotional stuff but physically I’m guessing you could still kick my ass, pregnant or not.” He told her, raising his other hand to her cheek. “So you need a little help with the physical stuff right now? Give it three months and you won’t. You’ll be able to go for a run, and hang decorations, and I don’t know... punch stuff at the gym or whatever you used to do AND tie your own shoe laces. It’s temporary. I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like... but I know this bit that you have to do all on your own is nearly over and there’ll be plenty of help on deck with what comes after.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette’s eyes widened with every word, until she was mimicking a startled bush baby. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re not any weaker for needing a helping hand when you’re carrying an entire other person.” He promised gently. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You... I...” she blinked, flushing furiously. “How... oh my god.” She murmured. He raised an eyebrow. “How do you make me fall more in love every time you open your mouth?” She breathed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“There’s only so far my looks can take me.” He joked weakly, beginning to feel a little bit like he was cheating the system here in playing both sides. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Considering something for a moment, Marinette took his hand. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Bedroom. Now.” She insisted. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You don’t have to get me off every time I cheer you up.” He whined - this was exactly why he’d got himself into trouble the night before. He worried she was doing it out of obligation, because she felt she owed him something. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh I’m not getting you off.” Marinette said decisively. “You’re going to give me a helping hand.” She purred. He’d said he wanted to touch her, after all, and it was something she’d been trying to build up to. Adrien blinked. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“If this is about last night...” he began fretting. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Adrien. Bedroom.” She laughed, tugging his hand as she walked backward toward their room. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>It was hard to argue with her, as she bore a cheerful grin and was happy to take the lead.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I have a few conditions...” she said carefully. “I think it’s the being <em>watched</em> <em>by anyone</em> thing that bothers me more than the being touched by you.” <em>Because Hawkmoth watched me, because I’m the size of a house, because I’ve never felt less attractive than I do right now but for some reason you’re still interested. </em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>“So lights out?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hmmm. No. Just... keep your eyes on my face?” She asked, sitting on the edge of the bed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“That won’t be a problem.” He swore.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Second condition...” she bit her lip. “Could you... would it be weird to...” Marinette groaned in frustration and lay down, shaking her head as she pulled the covers over herself. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Not a mind reader, my...” <em>Do. Not. Say. Lady.</em> “Love. I won’t know unless you ask.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Words are hard, Adrien.” She pouted, taking a deep breath before steeling herself.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Could you get yourself off first? I... I don’t know if I’d be able to after if I panic and I’m trying to concentrate on one thing at a time at the moment so... can we work up to mutual stuff?” She blurted, turning scarlet. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t need to get there every time.” He reassured her, kissing the bolt of her jaw. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Adrien... I don’t want you to be... hard and wanting while you’re touching me okay? It adds pressure and... I don’t want to get carried away with more than I can handle and freak out. That’s my condition.” Her tone was firm. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Okay.” He chuckled, kissing her neck. “Want me to stay or go to the bathroom?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette bit her own lip. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Stay. Just... let me...” with an awkward pause and a wriggle, she managed to divest herself of her trousers, tossing them out from under the covers and nodding at him. She missed her form fitting jeans - comfy clothes were hardly the height of fashion. If her business ever expanded she planned on making maternity clothes that looked cute and didn’t cost the Earth. Slipping her socks off too she turned to face him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Another shuffle and some mild disturbance of the duvet saw Adrien’s jeans and boxers tossed aside too.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Okay to kiss you?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Always.” She promised him. Losing herself in the kiss and the slightly odd sensation of his fist occasionally brushing the bottom of her stomach on the upstroke it took her only a few minutes for the nerves to start creeping in. She enjoyed the way he moaned into her mouth, but the growing feeling that she should be <em>doing</em> something unsettled her. She broke their kiss and shook her head.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“This isn’t working...” no sooner had the words left her lips than he rolled away - unfortunately the tented duvet did nothing to hide his obvious arousal. It <em>had</em> been working for him. She bit her lip, thinking. It took everything she had to get him off without panicking - throw in something new as well and she feared she’d be overwhelmed. Nibbling her bottom lip until she tasted blood wasn’t helping, and neither was Adrien’s heavy breathing as he tried to calm himself down.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Are you able to... to do both?” She asked carefully.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Probably not easily...” He admitted - not wanting to point out the bump made touching her a little difficult without involving his other hand. That seemed tactless. Marinette hummed. “You... you don’t want to be watched.” He clarified. “I can’t see under the covers. You can... if you wanted to...”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Get ourselves there? Together?” She asked softly. He nodded.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>A small, shy smirk and then a nod.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>With only each other’s faces to see, they both concentrated on that and avoiding the awkward shuffle going on beneath the sheets. Marinette had seen Adrien in a state of bliss before, his flushed face and breathy demeanour no less fascinating for having witnessed it before. Adrien, however, had no memory of her in this condition, the colour creeping over her cheeks, the flutter of her eyelashes as she touched herself out of view, and the little gasp of shock as her fingers did something apparently wonderful down below that he couldn’t help but picture in his mind.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Darting forward she pressed her lips to his, feeling the way his arm jolted at a slightly faster pace when she bit his bottom lip instead of her own.<em> I like this</em> she thought, dizzied <em>this is okay</em>.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“A...Adrien...” she whispered.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You okay?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m good.” She promised, kissing his jaw. “I... everything’s a bit more sensitive lately.” She admitted, unsure whether it was hormones or Adrien’s presence that was making her tingle so quickly. His murmured approval certainly helped and she couldn’t help but wonder how different it might feel if it were his fingers currently circling the slick bundle of nerves that was working her into a frenzy. She closed her eyes at that thought, emitting a soft gasp which was parried with a groan from Adrien, his own eyes still trained on her face.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“C...close.” He warned, not entirely sure what the etiquette was - with them facing each other like this he was going to finish against her... she’d shifted a little so their faces were level, if he came now he’d cover her thigh, and while that thought wasn’t exactly unpleasant (he’d certainly seen enough of it in porn to know it was a done thing) he didn’t think she’d appreciate it.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Then let’s make it interesting.” Her tone had risen an octave, high and breathy and Adrien couldn’t think. <em>This</em> was what she sounded like turned on. “If you finish first you can touch me.” She whispered breathily - that had been the initial plan, after all. He whimpered.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re killing me here, Mari.” He panted.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Mmm... good.” She giggled. “At least it’ll be a sexy death.” He tried not to laugh but was cut off with another fierce kiss.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The dilemma of whether it was appropriate to climax when they were so close was beyond his control when she moaned against his lips and he hit his peak suddenly, his release hitting her bare skin. She didn’t seem to mind the mess, rubbing her thighs together and murmuring through his orgasm as hers approached. He gave himself a few seconds to recover, trying to catch his breath, before dragging himself away to grab a tissue wiping his hand with it quickly before returning to the kiss. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette was too close to care about any insecurities, lost in a sea of hormones and Adrien’s eyes she tugged his shoulder gently, shifting on to her back. Taking his left hand with her free one she slid it down under the covers, then up her shirt. Adrien was sated, the thrill of touching her - even over the dense fabric of her bra - wasn’t from arousal but from awe at her state. His brain went offline when her hand slipped from her underwear and found his right wrist, coaxing him down beneath the sheets. Trying not to think too hard on the fact her fingers were wet and unsure of how much she was willing to allow, he pressed two fingers against the front of her underwear, rubbing a small circle against the damp fabric and feeling her keen under his actions.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“God, you’re beautiful.” He whispered in her ear just as she moaned.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Can’t... words...” she panted, shivering pleasantly. He wondered if her inability to speak was a good sign or a worrying one as he squeezed her breast through the fabric, fascinated as she arched under him. “You can... it’s okay... more...” she whimpered, nodding.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He’d touched her through thinner fabric than the bra before, felt her up a couple of times through t shirts, so decided that was the best course of action, carefully pulling the cup of her bra down until his hand met heated skin. A cautious brush of his palm proved her nipples were already peaked in arousal - not that he should have been surprised at that, but still he’d never got this far. She gave a frustrated whine.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m glad you find those so interesting, Adrien.” She whispered breathily, they were sore and not exactly comfortable, but his face made the touch worth it. “And that’s fine but not what I meant.” Oh. Oh! Other hand. A nervous gulp and he nodded, pulling her knickers aside and ghosting over the unfamiliar territory with his fingertips. A thick thatch of curly hair, then soft, velvety skin gave way to a slick slit that he probed carefully, unable to see what he was doing he based his movements on her reactions. A cry fell from her lips when he found her clit, and he focused on that, pressing gently and rubbing in alternating circles until she was trembling.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>A virgin, technically he was not, but he had no experiences to draw from here. He had watched enough porn to have a very vague idea of what to do, those videos never seemed to focus much on fingers... but she only seemed to respond positively as he slid his middle finger inside her, switching his two fingertips at her clit for his thumb and keeping pressure there. Whining, mewling and bucking her hips gently in rhythm as he occasionally remembered to pay attention to her breast.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ah...” Another gasp. He was definitely doing <em>something</em> right. He added a second finger, dizzied at the way her body stretched to accommodate the intrusion. If she felt that tight around his fingers he could only dare to imagine how she’d feel around his...</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Belatedly he realised that’s why she’d wanted him to finish first - because thoughts like those were dangerous in a situation like this. No matter how much he respected the situation, with them both in that delirious state they could wind up carried away, pushing her beyond her limits.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“A-Adrien I’m...” she panted, over sensitive and stimulated to the point of no return. Every nerve ending in her body lit up and she could taste stars. No turning back now. She couldn’t breathe.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s okay.” He promised, kissing her cheek and speeding his thumb up as his fingers curled inside her.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>And then she screamed. She hadn’t meant to be so loud, truly, but despite knowing she was close it somehow still took her by surprise, her orgasm hitting her with the force of a freight train.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>That noise was going to stay with him the rest of his life. He’d never be able to climax again without hearing her ragged cry as she clenched around his fingers, back arching from the bed. Had he been capable of another erection so soon, he’d have come all over again just from her enthusiastic response. Christmas spirit had nothing on the vision of Marinette, breathless and sated beneath him. Marinette felt dizzy and dazed as his hands slowed down and eventually retreated, gradually easing her down from her high.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He kissed her gently, and she murmured a vague</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hello,” with a chuckle in response.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Want me to go make you a hot chocolate?” He wondered - reaching for more tissues. He’d paid attention in health class but hadn’t really considered just how <em>wet</em> women could get, there was an odd thrill in knowing he’d caused it. He didn’t want to leave her, he wanted to wrap her in his arms and never let go, but pressing for a post-coital cuddle seemed too much when he knew how much that part unnerved her.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Legs don’t work. Gimme a minute.” She mumbled, pressing her forehead to his and breathing heavily.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The moment lasted just long enough, curled up together until her brain came back online and fear began to rear its ugly head. The fact they were both pantsless and she was still half underneath him starting to ring warning bells in her head. <em>Stupid mind</em>.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“H-hot chocolate sounds good.” She said softly. He kissed her cheek and paused at the realisation her cheek was wet too, but for an entirely different reason.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He dressed quickly, the guilt swelling in his gut as he realised he’d made her cry. He shouldn’t have pushed...</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette dressed beneath the sheets and followed him wordlessly into the kitchen. She didn’t wipe the tears but gave him a weak smile.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You okay?” He asked carefully. Marinette nodded.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m fine.” She lied. She didn’t feel fine. Not full scale panic, she managed to keep that at bay, but she wasn’t entirely sure why she felt dirty. She’d enjoyed herself, hadn’t she? She wrapped her arms around herself and leaned against the counter while he made hot chocolates for them both.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>————————</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>With Christmas break in full swing at the university, Marinette was graced with Adrien’s company throughout the day. Having him home certainly helped distract from the worry of the impending interloper - one way or another, Christmas would be very different next year. Alya and Nino had taken a jaunt to London, under the guise of a romantic long weekend in England. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Both Marinette and Adrien independently knew they were going as surveillance, with Marinette wondering why they hadn’t asked Ladybug for the horse miraculous and Adrien aware that they had, as a group, decided they were less conspicuous attending as civilians.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>From the spare room she could hear the tinkling of the piano keys as she wandered the kitchen in search of something that wasn’t sugar. Cravings, something she had mistakenly thought were exclusively an early pregnancy thing, had suddenly dictated that she preferred something salty, and Adrien’s house generally boasted a distinct lack of junk food snacks. What she wouldn’t give for a bag of plain crisps or a leg of fried chicken...</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“This baby’s weird.” She murmured.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What’s she doing?” Tikki wondered as a clatter signalled the arrival of the days post.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Swimming I suppose?” Marinette hummed, abandoning her quest for salty snacks and silently cursing the distance between her usual height and the doormat where a few letters lay. Tikki fetched them up for her without complaint. “Thanks.” Marinette mumbled, still embarrassed.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>What appeared to be a bill was set aside - addressed to Adrien, two Christmas cards for him joined it, but the last was addressed to both of them. Marinette’s fingertip traced their names and she found herself smiling. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>Monsieur Agreste and Mademoiselle Dupain-Cheng </em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>With their address beneath it. Seeing it in writing made her heart flutter - occasionally Adrien blurted out ‘<em>we live together!</em>’ as though it had just hit him. She sort of understood that a little better seeing it so formally confirmed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Hearing a pause in the jovial Christmas music from the spare room she carried the card through, knocking before entering. Adrien was flicking through a book of sheet music and looked up when she appeared. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hi.” He grinned.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hi.” She smiled back. “What’s our policy on joint addressees?” She asked, handing him the card. She’d never opened his mail, and knew he’d get to his on the coffee table later, but they’d never got a card addressed to both of them. Was she allowed to open it? </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Watching his face light up as he read the address was comical - knowing he had the same <em>oh my god </em>moment she’d just had. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well, as a general rule if it’s addressed to both of us I figure either of us can open it?” His only current objection to her opening mail exclusively for him was that he’d paid for Alya and Nino’s trip to London which he’d rather she didn’t find out from his bank statement. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Generally he had nothing to hide from her...</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nothing that would come in the mail anyway. “You don’t need to ask permission in future - but the postmark says London so it’s probably from my Aunt.” He reasoned, running his thumb under the seal and freeing a pristine, snow white card with a robin on it. Sure enough the writing in the card was a small letter from Aunt Amelie, wishing them both well with the baby, stating how proud her sister would be of him, and that Felix was, of course, excelling himself at Oxford University. Adrien’s smile was soft as he read the sentiments. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Want me to put it on the mantel piece with the others?” She asked gently. Shaking his head Adrien set it atop the piano and beckoned her to the bench. No sooner was she seated did he start to play, Marinette closed her eyes and swayed gently, losing herself in the melody of Winter Wonderland. <em>We’ll be fine</em> she thought to herself. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>—————— </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>London was wet and miserable in December. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Aside from a dirty look from Adrien’s disturbingly clone like cousin, we got nothing.” Alya said dismally, cast half in darkness by the over large umbrella her boyfriend held. Stake outs were surprisingly dull. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hm.” Nino agreed. “Does it seem weird to you that...” He broke off and didn’t complete his sentence, leaving Alya to give him a strange look. He had been about to comment on the fact Cat Noir had showed up with an envelope of cash that had facilitated their journey. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You plan on finishing that thought or...” Alya wondered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s just...” he chewed his finger nail and murmured. “Okay, so wild theory time...” it wasn’t like he had any proof. “Do you think Adrien’s Cat Noir?” He asked her plainly, lowering his voice so he was barely heard over the thundering downpour. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes.” Alya didn’t debate it, or question his instinct. She stared instead at the grey skies as they continued their deluge. She’d thought so for a while, without enough proof,  the fact he had a couple of hundred euros to hand out so freely for a dead end mission only furthered her belief. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Together they stood in the pouring rain, her head gently finding his shoulder. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“So Marinette’s Ladybug?” Nino queried, his head hurting. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hm... I’m <em>less</em> certain about that one.” Alya admitted. Marinette had been so careful to shield her identity, she’d created several paradoxes in the minds of her friends. “If I ignore my own eyes and ears... yes. That’s the most logical answer and she’s taking a break because she’s pregnant. But there have been a few times I’ve <em>definitely</em> seen her and Ladybug in the same place...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Me too.” Admitted Nino awkwardly as he cast his mind back. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“And so has Cat Noir... if his stories about Multimouse are to be believed. So... she’s a maybe.” Alya groaned gently. “I miss the days when evidence was evidence.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“There’s no evidence here.” Nino grumbled, nodding his head at the mansion they were lurking around. “I feel kind of like we’re failing as super heroes in NOT getting an answer...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well... sometimes a lack of proof is proof of something else.” Said the tiger holder, smiling gently as the lights went out. “They’re heading to bed for the night... Want to go back to the hotel and have super power sex?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Okay I’m definitely failing as a super hero if I say ‘hell, yeah’ aren’t I?”  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>—————— </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>It was December 23rd when it occurred to Marinette that she couldn’t remember when she’d last had a full blown panic attack. She was coming on in leaps and bounds: <em>getting better,</em> she thought. They’d even had a couple more tries at the mutual masturbation thing and they hadn’t gone too badly. Smiling to herself, feeling like she was making definitely progress, she sat down to sign off on the last of her courier payments. Tikki settled on the coffee table next to her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What time’s Adrien due back from his shoot?” Asked the kwami, her antennae wriggling a little as she heard footsteps in the hall and debated pulling an unnecessary vanishing act.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m not sure, it’s Vincent again and he usually keeps him late trying to get the ‘perfect’ shot so any time between two and eight really.” She murmured, sipping her coffee and reviewing the paperwork. She was technically closed until January 3rd but getting ahead had never hurt before. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Moments later letters landed on the doormat with the last post before Christmas. Marinette eyed them and decided it wasn’t worth the effort of standing, continuing her work. Dutifully, Tikki flew over and collected the small cluster of envelopes, zipping back and dropping them in front of Marinette. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“How bad is the postal backlog that their post card is only arriving now?” Marinette smiled, the first article on the pile being a postcard from Alya and Nino from their time in London. They’d got home ages ago. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>It’s wet and cold and nothing is happening. On the plus side Nino learned how to say “I’m bored and horny” in another language so win? We’re going on The Eye tonight! Hope you three are all doing well, I found the cutest outfit for baby! I’ll see you soon. ❤️❤️❤️</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette giggled, deciding to stick that on the fridge when she could get the energy to stand. A letter for Adrien, which she set aside, a card for Adrien (he got a lot more than her, most of them were from companies he’d modelled for) and finally a card addressed to both of them. Well... Adrien had said she could open those and he wasn’t home.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The postmark said Paris but she couldn’t think of anybody left who would send her a card, it was probably another company Adrien worked for that had included her due to their press attention. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The card shimmered with a snow scene, a blue butterfly fluttering over the glittering branches of a tree. Opening it caused her blood to run cold. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>To Adrien, Marinette and baby </em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>Merry Christmas and a happy new year </em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>Gabriel </em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The middle part was the printed message that came with the card, the top and bottom lines in a familiar neat curly script that she recognised from his goodbye note. She felt sick. Double checking that the postmark definitely said Paris she showed it to Tikki who frowned as Marinette’s mind raced. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Was it a threat? Was he warning them he was back? Why had he included the baby? Did he know she was Ladybug? He couldn’t possibly... he was just sending his son a card, surely? Her stomach lurched in a way she was fairly certain had nothing to do with the baby. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“He’s back in Paris.” Tikki realised, aghast. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Or he never left.” Marinette murmured. “He’s been here the whole time hasn’t he? Watching us in the papers? Keeping an eye on Adrien. Of course he wouldn’t just leave... fuck. I need Cat: now!” She flapped, getting to her feet. “Tikki sp...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Marinette, no! You’re in no position to fight!” Tikki squawked, cutting her off. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Then what do I DO, Tikki? I need to get the others! We’ll strategise, check out the local aban...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Marinette...” Tikki said gently. “I know you’re shaken but just sit and think for a minute.” She tried to soothe her chosen. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t want to sit and think!” She growled, clenching her fists.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“But if you just charge out looking for the others you’ll be seen, it’s the middle of the day. You want to give yourself away like that?” She warned sensibly. Marinette deflated, her anger giving way to fear.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She couldn’t be seen publicly in her current condition, and doubted even the cape would cover the bump now. Calling Cat Noir would likely be useless as he was unlikely to be out and about in the middle of the day. The cat toy only worked one way and he had the remote. She could contact Alya and Nino as civilians but wouldn’t be able to explain the situation to them as Marinette. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She closed her eyes and waivered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t have a choice, do I?” She whispered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Are you thinking...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s time to call it a day...” she breathed, tears in her eyes. Tikki was right - she was in no condition to be taking on Hawkmoth, and despite the axe to grind, she couldn’t take the risk. The team taking on Hawkmoth would need the be able to purify akumas... Swallowing hard she nodded. “Tikki... I need you to take my earrings to Cat Noir’s holder. He’ll understand.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s temporary.” Tikki insisted. “He’ll give them back when it’s over!” Marinette just gave her kwami a helpless look, unable to convey the terror that without her in the fight, she might not know how it turned out. That Cat was fighting blind, with powers he wasn’t used to. She hated that. He’d always had her back, and now when it came to the most crucial fight of their lives, she physically couldn’t have his. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The kwami kissed her cheek.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’ll come back to you. He’d never let Hawkmoth win.” She swore, as Marinette unclipped her earrings and locked them together through the earring backs. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Goodbye for now, Tikki.” She whispered gently. “Get to Cat Noir as soon as you can.” And with that Tikki phased out the window, and was gone, leaving Marinette bereft. She’d lost so much to Hawkmoth, and now was left without her final friend in the know and without the Ladybug side of herself entirely. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien was in the middle of his shoot when the bag he kept Plagg in shook violently. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“S-sorry I must have left my phone on...” he said awkwardly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“See to it and get back, we’re losing light.” Sighed Vincent, taking the momentary pause to adjust his camera. Hurrying over to his bag he bent down and paled when he saw Tikki and Plagg together, Ladybug’s earrings held in the red creature’s tiny paws. Feigning checking his phone he stood up suddenly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I have to go, Marinette’s having contractions and she’s not due yet!” He lied, figuring he could brush it off as Braxton Hicks when no baby immediately followed. God, he hoped he wasn’t jinxing it. To his surprise Vincent only widened his eyes and nodded. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Go. Be with your girl.” He insisted, as Adrien practically ripped off his borrowed clothes, ignoring the onlookers and changed back into his own. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Tearing away he got to an alleyway with his bag in hand. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What happened?” He demanded. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Your father’s made contact. He’s back in Paris and she can’t fight so...” Tikki told him, offering up the earrings. Adrien shivered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“He made contact? With <em>Marinette</em>?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“He sent you guys a Christmas card. He knows about the baby, and I’m guessing if he knows you’re Cat Noir... he’s figured out she’s Ladybug from the timing of her pregnancy.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Stupid stupid stupid! I should have protected her!” Adrien groaned. Of course his father would figure that out, he was the only one who had all the facts.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>How was he supposed to have shielded her though? They were already publicly together when they learned she was pregnant, it wasn’t as though she could have ducked out of the limelight with no explanation, and nobody suspecting why they’d broken up. Even if he’d let her break up with him... the pregnancy would have become common knowledge soon enough. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Wait, she’s alone in the apartment... without protection?” Plagg hissed, green eyes wide. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She told me to go what was I supposed to do?!” Tikki snapped back. “There’s a whole box of other kwamis if she needs them and...”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Switch!” Plagg yelled at Adrien, who was already veering back toward the apartment. If his choices were to go fight Hawkmoth or to guard Marinette there was really no call to make. She came first. “Take off your ring and send me to her! I can beat you back, and she’ll at least be able to fight if he comes at her!” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She can’t fight!” Adrien argued. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She deserves to be able to defend herself! You need to purify the butterflies fine, but you can’t leave her with a target on her back and without a weapon.” Plagg argued. Tikki was dithering, flitting nervously from side to side. If she felt threatened surely she’d use Wayzz for protection rather than attack? </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well... you don’t want to be wandering around with both the cat and the ladybug... it puts you at risk.” Tikki hummed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“And having them both in the same house doesn't?” Adrien snipped. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It didn’t bother you when you decided to shack up with her knowing who she was! It didn’t bother you when you announced to the entire internet that she was pregnant, effectively giving her away to Hawkmoth! Let me go or I will bite you!” Plagg crowed, flying up to Adrien’s hand and tugging at his ring. Gulping, Adrien freed the silver ring from his finger, passing it to Plagg. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Go. Quickly.” He insisted. “I’m heading home as me.” He knew Plagg was reacting emotionally - either his own desire to keep Marinette safe winning out, or Adrien’s panic rubbing off on him but the words hurt all the same as his kwami zipped off. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Figuring he wouldn’t be able to explain the sudden piercings to Marinette, Adrien pushed the studs through his sleeves as cuff links, watching them change to simple black buttons. Tikki gave him a soft nod of approval.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette was sat at the kitchen table with her head in her hands when Plagg arrived. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hey pigtails... coast clear?” He asked, startling her. She looked up with wide eyes. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Plagg?” She whispered, shocked. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Long time no see... you been at the camembert?” He nodded at her bump, but she didn’t respond, staring at the ring in terror. It couldn’t be over already, surely? </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Is he okay?” She asked, frightened. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah. He’s fine. He’s got sugarcube and a pretty new pair of earrings but we’re not leaving you with a shield but no sword in this fight kid.” He flew to the table and dropped the ring in front of her with a clatter on the glass table. In Cat Noir mode she had no reason to recognise it as Adrien’s, picking up the black and green ring and clutching it close to her chest.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She had no clue whether Hawkmoth was close by enough to be an imminent threat. The card had come by a backlogged postal delivery: he might have been in Paris weeks ago and gone by now. She didn’t know whether she was sending Cat Noir in to the biggest battle of their lives blind, without his partner, while she had to hang back at home, barefoot and pregnant, or just trading jewellery for months more silence from Hawkmoth. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“So are you having a baby or did you just eat too much cheese?” Plagg asked - he knew full well she was having a baby but Cat Noir was supposedly in the dark. No sense adding to her worry. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m having a baby.” She confirmed softly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Better you than me. Those things are noisy.” He said, shrugging. “Got any cheese?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Fridge.” She mumbled, getting slowly to her feet and heading into her bedroom. Plagg didn’t venture to the fridge, instead he followed his new owner, confused. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She was rifling through a box on her desk. Finding what she was looking for she pulled out a thin silver chain and slipped the ring on, fastening it about her neck and tucking it down her shirt so it wasn’t obvious. Once on her person, it changed - instead of Adrien’s silver ring though, it formed into a small silver band with a single green stone.  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I live with my boyfriend. You’ll have to stay hidden.” She warned Plagg. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah my Cat lives with a girl too, I know all about  laying low. So you ran off because your boyfriend got you in trouble?” He asked her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No... I ran off because Hawkmoth used Cat Noir against me.” She said coldly, not bothering to hide it from Plagg.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“When we were akumatised.” He said carefully, as though figuring it out. “So this...” Plagg nodded at her stomach. He already knew, but hearing it from her was a whole different thing.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p> She needed to be able to talk to someone the way she talked with Tikki... he was going to have to step up to the plate. Plagg was in way over his head - when Adrien was sad he made jokes and deflected, what was he supposed to do when Marinette was sad? </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“So this is our fault?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No. It’s a little bit my fault, mostly Hawkmoth’s fault... but yes. Cat Noir has a daughter, or... he will have if we live through this.” Marinette grimaced. Because it was possible they wouldn’t. Her hands shook. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She needed to make arrangements. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>But she heard Adrien’s key turning in the door. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Stay out of sight.” She hissed. “I don’t need to burden him with this.”  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“If you say so. I’ll be around, Princess.” And with that said, Plagg vanished out of view to a muttered</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Don’t call me Princess.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Acting as though he didn’t know her world had crumbled around her was the hardest few seconds of Adrien’s life. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hey, the shoot finished early because we were losing light...” he started, keeping his tone neutral, but her expression said she wasn’t going to hide it from him, she was going to tell him what she could. With quaking hands she passed him both the Christmas card and the envelope. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien immediately took it for the threat she’d seen it as, nodding. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Everywhere’s closed for Christmas. First thing on the twenty seventh, when it reopens, I’ll go see my lawyer and get a restraining order. He’s not allowed near you, or me, or the baby.” He insisted.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He couldn’t tell her Cat Noir was on it, that Mister Bug had her back. He couldn’t tell her he’d already alerted Tygress and Lupino, well... Adrien had called Alya and Nino to let them know Hawkmoth was back and not to tell Marinette he’d tipped them off, risking sacrificing his own identity to them. He <em>could</em> make sure she knew Adrien was on her side, that Paris’ legal system would support them. He knew a piece of paper wouldn’t keep Gabriel away, but it was the most he could offer her as a civilian. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“He’s your father.” She whispered, sounding broken. While she wouldn’t hesitate to fight Gabriel Agreste, even in her current state, she couldn’t ask the same of Adrien. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No.” Adrien growled, wrapping his arms around her. “You, Marinette. You and Madeleine are my family. Both of you. What he’s done to Paris, to you, to your friend... that can’t be forgiven. He’s not part of our lives, Marinette, blood or not.” He swore, cupping the back of her head and kissing her hair. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Several deep breaths later they both calmed down enough to part. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’ll call the police department and let them know to keep an eye on the mansion, in case he tries to go home.” He’d checked it out a few times since his father’s disappearance but the cctv remained uneventful and the lights remained off. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“He’s not committed any crimes you can prove. Legally you have no right to have him tailed. There’s no proof he’s Hawkmoth.” She whispered sadly. Outing him had occurred to her, but people like Gabriel had a nasty tendency to wriggle out of trouble and Alya had always insisted she couldn’t cast blame without proof. He could use the exposure to confirm an alibi, and would almost certainly our Cat Noir in retaliation. Adrien pulled a face, but nodded. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Okay... that was a stupid idea.” He agreed with a sigh. “Bodyguard? I could call him over...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Adrien... I just want you to stay here.” Was all she said. All she could say. Adrien kissed her head again. No point leaving her side until he knew where to look - he’d need to call the others for a proper briefing but a phone call was manageable in a bathroom break. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m here.” He promised. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Your comments mean the world to me, thank you.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The damage a Christmas card can do.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>In which Adrien finally feels his feelings</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div>
  <p>The end of December brought very little change regarding Hawkmoth. Adrien had, as promised, filed for a restraining order against his father - giving him and his girlfriend legal protection if he showed up as Gabriel (he was unable to get one for Madeleine as she legally wasn’t a person yet). The information was not made public, but Adrien had cited physical abuse as the reason for the injunction, to a slightly startled lawyer who agreed to serve the papers should Gabriel (whose job it would be to dispute the claim) make an appearance. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He didn’t. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Christmas and New Year came and went without a word. Mister Bug, Tygress and Lupino met up regularly - but the mansion remained unlit, Marinette and Adrien remained unharassed, and Tikki and Plagg, short of switching holders, remained hidden from view whenever they were together. Plagg had apologised for his snappy comments when he’d been afraid for Marinette by giving Adrien a large hunk of cheese... which Adrien admitted was weirdly affectionate even if he didn’t appreciate it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t want to leave you alone.” Adrien growled, frustrated. Because January meant restarting the pause in his education that was supposed to have been a pleasant Christmas break. Marinette was truly at the end of her tether with him. Ever since the stupid card arrived he’d been on edge, secretive and moody.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She just wanted some time alone.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She needed to talk to the kwamis. She needed to plan for the worst case scenario. Arrangements <em>had</em> to be made. Hell, even a trip to her parents would be a relief, but something had snapped in Adrien. Her normally sweet boyfriend seemed to have flipped into full on paranoia, insisting on accompanying her everywhere. Was it wrong to want to bathe on her own once in a while? To go to bed early without being followed? </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Adrien, the door’s locked and he has no real reason to come after me as Hawkmoth.” <em>Apart from the fact you’re Ladybug and you’re lying about knowing you’re in danger to protect me</em> he thought angrily. “Even if... even if he’s got some weird... I don’t know... fetish or whatever... I have your number and I have 112 on speed dial. You can’t just drop out of school to babysit me.” <em>Damn well can</em> he thought. If she wouldn’t let Adrien stay in the apartment he’d have to stand on guard outside it as Mister Bug. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The uncertainty of the situation made him irritable, while Marinette’s final month of pregnancy made her even more so. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“If I have to kick you out of your own apartment I will, Adrien. Go.” She warned him, frustrated. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Fine,” he grumbled “but only because I love you.” He kissed her gently, before stalking out in a sulk. Marinette sighed, pinching her nose - he was giving her a headache. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Is your boyfriend always this grouchy?” Plagg wondered. Sighing again in response, Marinette absently scratched his head, shaking hers.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No. Hawkmoth being his father is one thing... Hawkmoth being the man who sexually assaulted his pregnant girlfriend is a whole other thing. He feels like he let me down... which is stupid, he had no clue what his father was up to... he’s just trying to help but I don’t want him getting dragged into all this super hero stuff. He’s safer as Adrien - Gabriel’s son. If I throw a miraculous his way so he can defend himself, Hawkmoth could hurt him without realising who he is. I don’t <em>think</em> he’d hurt Adrien.” She had considered giving Adrien one of the unclaimed jewels, but decided against it. He was safer maintaining his ignorance. Gabriel might hold power over him that way, but Hawkmoth never could. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>With her hand on her swollen stomach Marinette wondered which was worse: Hawkmoth showing up, or Hawkmoth not showing up. If he laid low long enough she might be healed enough post partum to join the fight, but with every passing day his unseen presence felt more of a threat and took more of a toll on their relationship.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Crossing to the window she shivered. Having always trusted her instincts, she knew when she was being watched, and swore she could feel eyes on her as she stood in front of the glass. <em>But why would he watch me? He doesn’t know I’m Ladybug. And if he did, surely he’d attack while I’m weak. You’re not being watched, you’re paranoid.</em> She told herself. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She didn’t know if she could stand another month of them both jumping every time a floorboard creaked - looking over her shoulder constantly was exhausting. Her midwife had already warned her that her blood pressure was reaching unacceptably high levels. Apparently she needed to rest and reduce her stress levels. Easier said than done.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>In a fit of frustration, Marinette closed the curtains. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>——————</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Surprise!” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Surprise alright. Marinette hadn’t been caught out by a surprise party since she was eleven, and even less so since becoming friends with Alya who was usually chief party planner. Adrien’s offer to go with her on a walk had seemed stupid at the time: what was a walk compared to actually going out and living life? But having spent the morning cooped up in her craft room composing a letter she hoped would never be read, begrudgingly she’d admitted the fresh air felt nice - even if it was late January and she’d rather have had some time alone. Now it was obvious Adrien had been in on the ruse to get her out of the apartment. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Which was now full of people she hadn’t seen in a long while. Under normal circumstances she’d be thrilled to see Mylène, Juleka, Rose, Alix, Sabrina and even Chloé. She did wonder who the hell had invited Lila though? At least her mother and grandma were there... always a plus. Adrien kissed her cheek.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“And this is where I take my leave.” He said gently. “Have fun with the shower, ladies.” He said, bidding the room farewell. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re leaving?!” She asked, surprised. Weeks she’d been trying to persuade him to leave her be and now he was... abandoning her to a room full of people she’d have to protect if it came to a fight? Not that he knew that... still, it seemed like a terrible idea! </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Baby shower, Mari, girls only.” Alya laughed. “Come sit.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I...” <em>don’t want this</em>. Every instinct in her body screamed that this was a terrible idea. Her own thoughts on the baby they were apparently celebrating were still muddy at best, and a room full of people she cared about (plus Lila...) seemed a little like sticking a target directly on her apartment. There were too many people here that he could use to hurt her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>And Adrien had already left. Swallowing hard, Marinette nodded as they made room for her on the sofa next to her mother. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You okay, sweetheart? I feel like I’ve barely seen you lately.” Sabine whispered gently. Marinette lay her head on her mother’s shoulder and murmured. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Sorry. Leaving the house got hard.” She admitted weakly. Between avoiding the paparazzi, walking becoming a chore, and Adrien following her everywhere (if he tried to accompany her to one more shower, she was going to cry), she had crossed the line from shrinking violet to straight up recluse. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The living room was bedecked in very pink decor, pink paper lanterns and pink streamers as far as the eye could see. The coffee table was hidden under a pink cloth, with food piled high on pink plates, a tower of mostly pink wrapped presents sat against the wall (Chloe’s singular yellow wrapped gift the only one off theme). There were even a few bottles of pink lemonade beside the pink paper cups. Pink had been Marinette’s favourite colour since she was three... suddenly she wasn’t sure she liked it. A pink prison was still a prison. She felt sick. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Grinning and bearing it, she sat through small talk - listened attentively and enviously as people talked about their lives post high school, about university or jobs, about marriage, bragged about passing driving tests and other such things. Sabine and Gina as the matriarchs of the family swapped stories about their pregnancies, which Marinette thought served as warnings rather than reassurance. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“And of course sex in the third trimester is such a gymnastic fete!” Gina declared unashamedly, earning giggles from the group of girls. Marinette blushed and covered her face. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Grandma!” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh I’m sure that’s not a problem for Marinette and Adrien, they’ve always been so affectionate.” Lila beamed, delighting in Marinette’s discomfort. “You’re still seeing to each other’s needs right?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>No. No they’d barely touched each other since that stupid Christmas card arrived. They’d never actually had sex. Flushing furiously she batted her hand. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Not a problem.” She insisted, ignoring the smirk Lila gave her.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ew.” Chloé said, wrinkling her nose.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> “Anywaaay...” Marinette said quickly. The years had (unfortunately) been kind to Lila, and having her sat there, prim and gorgeous with model-like elegance while Marinette herself felt like a moored houseboat was not helping her mood.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>At least the break for food gave her an excuse not to talk. She nibbled on bits and pieces that had clearly come from the bakery while everyone continued to talk. Games were a whole other set of awkwardness. Pin the dummy on the baby? Wrap a nappy out of toilet roll? Guess what chocolate was in the nappy? Ew. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She tried not to be ungrateful. Alya had clearly gone to a lot of effort but when Rose cheerfully declared that her water had broken, as per the rules of a game involving an ice cube with a plastic baby in it, Marinette began to feel irritated that Alya couldn’t see her discomfort.  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I think it’s really brave having a baby so young!” Lila told her as they moved on to the ostentatiously pink pile of gifts. “I want to be financially secure before I have children myself.” Lila with kids? The thought didn’t exactly stir up feelings of warmth and joy. “Of course you have the money to support yourself, so I figure why not right? Well, I mean Adrien has the money...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She wasn’t exactly planned.” Marinette muttered, knowing exactly what Lila was getting at. Lila gasped as though shocked. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh no! Really? What contraception were you using?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“The pill...” she said a bit confused.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Which pill?” Mylène wondered, suddenly a little concerned. She took the pill after all. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Uhm... gynacelle?” Marinette thought aloud, bewildered. Lila was tapping away on her phone. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Gynacelle is 98% effective! You must have been really unlucky. Or you know... lucky in your case.” The grin she fixed Marinette with set her at unease. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m watching you, Rossi.” Chloé hissed in Lila’s ear. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Open this one next.” Alya said, glaring at their former classmate and handing Marinette a gift as the pregnant woman began to feel she’d made a greivous mistake in allowing the party to continue. She felt watched. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She was unaware of the fact once again Mister Bug was camped out on a nearby rooftop, this time accompanied by Lupino, on guard. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Neither of them had addressed the elephant on the rooftop: the fact they both knew each other’s identities. He knew he’d given himself away by contacting them when the Christmas card had landed, but so far nobody had mentioned it. Mister Bug had insisted they watch the apartment, so Lupino had followed the order, a little confused but without question: until the stretching silence became uncomfortable. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You really think Hawkmoth’s going to go after his own... perceived grandchild?” Lupino wondered. Mister Bug only hummed, fiddling with his yo yo. Her yo yo. Her kwami. Her costume. <em>I took everything from her</em> he thought miserably. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Family doesn’t exactly mean a lot to Hawkmoth.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Really?” Lupino chewed his lip. “I figured he was acting out of some fucked up desire to protect his son...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No. His son was a target too.” Growled Mister Bug. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Not... I mean I’m not defending Hawkmoth or anything... but he never consciously went after his own kid, right?” The wolf asked hesitantly. Mister Bug debated it for a moment before sighing. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“He did.” Was all he said, watching as his friend frowned and nodded. “Hawkmoth is beyond redemption. It’s probably a good thing Ladybug has my ring...” the unsaid promise that if he had the ability to kill his father, he almost certainly would hung heavy in the air. Probably wasn’t very heroic either, malice aforethought and all that. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Absently thinking that Ladybug (who was arguably more affected) would probably prefer justice to murder, he knew the best solution was to strip Hawkmoth of his miraculous and leave him to rot in jail, but it did nothing to quell the rage that bubbled in his chest when he thought of how much they’d been through because of him - in the last year alone. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Adrien, Marinette and their baby are in more danger than anyone in Paris at the moment. We watch over them, as closely as we can...” Mister Bug said softly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We will.” Lupino promised, clapping his friend on the shoulder. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>———————— </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>As the last few guests packed up the party supplies, it should have come as no real shock that an alert went off on Alya’s phone and she paled.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Fuck, we have a mole...” she muttered.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“A mole?” Sabine asked, confused. Alya grimaced and turned the screen toward Marinette who could see the headline: <b>Oops! Marinette Dupain-Cheng blasts ‘faulty’ contraception on her unplanned pregnancy, a friend gives details. </b></p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh for...” Marinette groaned. This was the absolute last thing she needed. “This is why you shouldn’t have invited Lila.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You have no proof it was Lila.” Alya said weakly, while she was inclined to suspect her too... she’d seemed so much better lately, sure the two had been through drama in the past but they were kids then... Chloé would be high on Alya’s list of suspects too. Sabrina a possibility. Either way, whoever the mole was, Alya had invited them.  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It was Lila.” Marinette growled, certain of her claim. Abandoning her assistance with tidying away paper plates she read the article which was - as expected - awful. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Full of quotes that while technically correct were taken out of context, the picture painted of Marinette was not in the least bit pleasant. Implications that she was telling everyone who’d listen that her pill had failed, and a quote from the brands website stating the effectiveness of the pill and that the most common cause of failure was user error to imply she’d either screwed up, or worse - deliberately got pregnant to trap Adrien. Quoting Marinette boasting about their still active, yet imaginary, sex life. She took several deep breaths in the hopes of lowering her stress levels... it didn’t help. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Before Marinette could cause a scene and scream bloody murder - because frankly that’s all she wanted to do - she grabbed her coat and slipped on her shoes, unable to fasten the laces she just tucked them under her feet and walked out to a startled murmur from her mother. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She didn’t plan a route. She just needed to be out of the house. <em>Anywhere</em> would do. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Slow down there, pigtails.” Plagg chided, emerging from her blouse - Marinette hadn’t even realised the kwami was curled up in the pocket. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I just need a walk. I’m still allowed to walk aren’t I? Or do I need Adrien’s permission?” She snapped. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Nobody’s stopping you walking. Just cool your jets okay, want me to sneak into that Lila girl’s house in the middle of the night and cut her hair? I’ll do it, I don’t have scruples!” He promised cheerily, earning a half laugh from his owner as they reached the main entrance to the building. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Just a little stroll to the park to calm me down.” She promised, venturing out almost alone. The heat of Cat Noir’s ring against her chest was oddly reassuring: she was protected by that at least. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What the hell is she doing?” Hissed Mister Bug, suddenly worried as they spotted Marinette emerging from the building alone. Lupino gave him a strange look. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What she’s not allowed to go for a walk?” He asked suspiciously. Mister Bug shook his head. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s... She’s... it’s not safe...” he said slowly. Lupino’s frown only deepened as he saw Marinette glancing around, as though aware she was being watched. The dog holder tried to recall when they’d last actually seen Marinette outside of the apartment and his heart sank... uh oh. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Man, I’m not trying to interfere with your relationship or anything...” Mister Bug gave a heavy sigh - couldn’t exactly pretend he wasn’t who he obviously was at this point. “But keeping the person you’re trying to protect under lock and key didn’t work for Hawkmoth and it won’t work for you. Let the woman walk!” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She certainly seemed a little more at ease, talking to herself - to Plagg presumably - and even giggling, shaking her head. Still. Mister Bug’s stomach churned. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m not trying to cage her! I’m not. She just... she’s more vulnerable than she knows.” He whispered.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“How so?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s not my story to tell.” Mister Bug muttered, hopping on to the next rooftop to keep the young woman in his line of sight. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Dude, you’re... you’re practically stalking her!” Worried his friend. He understood the need to keep an eye on her but... this seemed borderline possessive. He knew it was how Adrien had grown up... and it had made him so miserable. Lupino realised he’d been letting them both down in not seeing the warning signs. “You can’t just go down and talk to her?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Not like this no...” Mister Bug fretted. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She doesn’t know you’re you...” Lupino realised, following the red streak as Mister Bug jumped to the next rooftop. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No.” He shook his head. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Why not?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ladybug would kill me if she knew you knew. Marinette can’t know.” He hissed. Without the full story, Lupino wasn’t sure what was going on under the surface, but could see the pure panic on Mister Bug’s face was genuine if not justified. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Isn’t she Ladybug?” Lupino whispered, lost. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No!” Mister Bug yelled, feeling like a failure for already having given himself away. He wouldn’t betray her too. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Dude, it’s me. You want me to help protect her I need to know what I’m protecting her from! If she’s not Ladybug then why does Hawkmoth want her so badly that you’re not letting her leave the house? He wants to hurt you?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Please.” Mister Bug begged, pressure mounting. “Please, just stop...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No, nuh uh. We were enlisted to help but we can’t help if we don’t...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Lupino wasn’t prepared to see Mister Bug fall to his knees, placing his forehead on the rooftop. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Dude, what the... okay. Okay... breathe...” he crouched beside him to find his shoulders shaking, and his cuff links started beeping. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Mister Bug couldn’t breathe, his chest constricting and the world spinning around him he closed his eyes to try block it out. The hammering of his heart seemed to thunder in his ears like a drum calling him to battle - he needed to fight... but he was chasing shadows. How was he supposed to protect her from an unseen enemy? How could he as Adrien offer her any true comfort when the worst thing she’d ever faced was himself in a black mask? How could he ease her fears that Hawkmoth might know her identity when being in a relationship with Cat Noir had likely been what already exposed that truth? </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Lupino’s furry paw stroked Adrien’s back, but the sensation burned and Adrien flinched away from it, only vaguely aware of his transformation falling away what felt like hours after he’d fallen. He came round to the whispered voice of Tikki explaining what he caught was </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Panic attack” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Seriously? Adrien felt like a fraud. He could hardly claim the right to panic - it wasn’t like he remembered what they’d gone through. It wasn’t like he was anywhere near as affected as she was... dwelling on the fact he was letting her down he got to shaky feet, guilty and sick. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Marinette...” he murmured weakly, looking around. He’d lost sight of her. She could be dead for all he knew. His stomach lurched. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Is fine.” Tikki insisted, floating in front of him. “Adrien... you’ve been trying to carry this for too long.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m fine.” He grunted, irritated at the pause. “Tikki sp...”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No!” Tikki snapped, her tone firmer than he’d ever heard from her. “No, you listen to me Adrien Agreste, you have barely even cried! You want to help her? Deal with your own trauma first. It happened to you too!” Her wide blue eyes faltered. “You’re allowed to tell your story, Adrien... you’re allowed to get help too.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m not the one who got hurt!” Adrien yelled, clenching his fists and slamming his eyes shut. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Lupino’s hand found his shoulder. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“From my experience... people don’t break down like that unless they’re hurting. C’mon. I rang Ty, she’s tailing Marinette, you and I are going to go home and have a little chat.” He said softly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien felt numb. Barely even able to register the fact Lupino was carrying him back to the apartment, swinging in through a window - if they were seen, he was obviously just returning Adrien home. Making sure all the guests were gone, Lupino murmured </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Barkk sit,” and Adrien could only sigh heavily as Nino appeared. Definitely couldn’t pretend like he didn’t know now. He sank onto the sofa as Barkk and Tikki shared a look. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Want a coffee?” Nino offered, eyeing his friend carefully. Adrien shook his head. “Okay so... from the beginning then.” He took a seat beside Adrien and waited as he tried to figure out where to start. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Okay so... I shouldn’t be telling you any of this.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“But you’re going to.” Nino insisted. Adrien paused and nodded. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes. I... but it’s not just me! I can’t tell my side of this without...” he grimaced. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Dude, I already figured out that she’s Ladybug. You’re not outing her. I already know.” Nino insisted. Adrien squirmed, finally nodding his confirmation. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She was Ladybug.” He whispered. “And I was Cat Noir.” He took a deep breath, saying that much was difficult enough. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“So I was in love with Ladybug and then I fell for Marinette. I didn’t know they were the same person, she’s good at covering her tracks when she needs to. But Ladybug... fell in love with Cat Noir. It’s complicated.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah, Alya’s lost track of trying to figure out that whole mess.” Nino joked gently, knowing there had to be more to the story than just a rough break up. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“So when Ladybug confessed her feelings to me last spring I... I turned her down. Stupid.” He sighed, pinching his nose. “I hurt her, not realising I was turning her down because I’m in love with her other self. It got awkward. We were okay, we would have been. Just... got a little messy.”  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh Ladybug’s your model friend? The one who stopped talking to you.” Nino realised. Adrien cringed and nodded. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah. She uh... what I didn’t tell you there was that... she uh... she stopped talking to me the night I got akumatised...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ouch!” Nino winced. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I tried not to, I swear! I found out my father was Hawkmoth and I... how do you even process that without negative emotions?!” Clenching his fists he shook his head. “I tried outrunning the butterflies but they kept coming. I didn’t even need to win, I just needed to stall and I couldn’t do it.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t think anyone’s ever outrun an akuma, Adrien.” Nino said gently, sympathising with his friend. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“They have - Cat Noir managed it twice, as far as I’m aware that’s the only time anyone’s ever managed to outrun one while still upset.” Tikki fielded, Marinette had rejected one once by refusing to let the anger beat her, Miss Bustier had nearly managed it once... but outrunning your own emotions just wasn’t an option. “It wasn’t your fault. You stalled as long as you could and you did better than anybody else could have.” Insisted the kwami. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Not long enough.” He hissed, disappointed in himself. “I couldn’t... I couldn’t protect her from me.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien fell silent for a long moment, green eyes dark and focused on the carpet. Uncertainly, Nino rubbed his back. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t remember what happened. Akumatised people never do. All I remember was coming round and Ladybug was... not herself. Twitchy and nervous. She didn’t want me to touch her. I was so...” the tears finally came, Adrien’s eyes welling up.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I was so mad at her.” He whispered, shaking his head. “We were facing down Hawkmoth - my father... not that I could tell her that but... she... she pretended she was okay. I didn’t know she wasn’t! I should have known. I should have seen...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She’s very good at covering her tracks, remember.” Tikki soothed. Adrien could only nod. Still, he thought he should have seen then she was scared of him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I was mad at her. He wasn’t there when we went to face him, he’d already taken off so we just... carried on. She still acted weird after that. She was the only person I could have talked to about my father being Hawkmoth and she was... I thought she was being jealous of Marinette... and... I think at one point I called her a drama queen. I...” he sighed. “I made everything so much worse. She couldn’t look me in the eye, couldn’t stand to be around me.” Tikki had lived the tale through Marinette, but listened to Adrien’s recollection, nuzzling the blond boy gently. Barkk sat silently on Nino’s lap, wide eyed but listening. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Meanwhile... Marinette...” Adrien smiled. He was still crying, but Nino recognised the smile at the mere mention of her name as soft and genuine. Adrien swallowed. “She said yes. She didn’t want to at first... said things had gone badly with her last relationship... wasn’t sure about starting a new one. But she gave me a chance and I... I was so happy.” He whispered.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Naive. Stupid. I didn’t... there were so many warnings signs, so many risks we shouldn’t have taken...” he paused and looked hopelessly at Tikki. “I can’t tell him this stuff this is her stuff...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yours too.” Tikki soothed. Adrien swallowed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We’d... we’d agreed to go slow... I was fine with that, I loved the kissing, the cuddling, the basics. I was just happy to be <em>with</em> her. Ladybug had totally cut me off and Marinette was... there. She loved me. I loved her. But when... when things started getting a bit more... uh... adult? She uhm...” he broke off looking a little lost. Exposing Marinette’s trauma felt wrong, like he was making the situation worse all over again somehow. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I can sort of figure out where you’re going with this.” Nino filled in. “I take it... the night you can’t remember’s the night Marinette got pregnant?” He grimaced. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes. The baby’s mine. She’s traumatised, Nino.” Adrien mumbled. “She told me everything. Well... almost everything. She omitted the part where she was Ladybug and it was Cat Noir who... but I figured it out and... <b>I</b> did that to her!” Unable to remain seated, Adrien stood abruptly, beginning to pace. Nino readied himself for the rant. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“And I can’t tell her! I mean screw the identity bullshit that was always her deal not mine but I... she can’t look at me the way she looks at Cat Noir! She’s still so wary of him. I can’t... I can’t tell her that the person she’s been leaning on, is the person who...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hawkmoth attacked her. Not you.” Nino clarified. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“HE DIDN’T EVEN ATTACK HER! That’s worse! Somehow it’s worse and is that messed up for me to think that? If he’d forced her... she’d have at least been able to fight back! She’d have won too, he knows that! That’s why he did it...” Adrien’s hands flew to his hair, hating himself for even thinking it. She was used to violence. Used to aggression. She hadn’t even been given a chance to fight until it was to late. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“He didn’t force her. He... seduced her.” Tikki explained gently to a slightly confused Nino. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“He used me to tell her everything she wanted to hear. That I still loved her. That I wanted her. Which I did I just didn’t know it! She went willingly, not knowing I was akumatised. She blames herself! It wasn’t her fault! I... I only attacked her after!” Adrien shook his head, tears running down his cheeks freely. Tikki hated seeing him so distressed, he wasn’t even her permanent holder but she was very fond of him. It was progress though, that he was talking about it, he had refused to discuss it with Tikki. Nino seemed to understand that too.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It wasn’t yours either. The blame for this is solely on your old man.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“If I’d just been quicker with that last butterfly...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No. None of that. That’s bullshit. He’s to blame. Not you. Not her.” Nino swore vehemently. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t even remember it.” Adrien whispered. “I had no clue until we were fooling around that first time in London and she... she punched me. Adrien me. Then she was apologising to me, to Adrien... like... like she’d let me down for not... being able to...” he faltered, shaking his head again.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I couldn’t tell her it was me because she would never trust me again. She’d have run a mile. And Hawkmoth must know I’m me because he was in my head... so he probably knows who she is too because we were dating but I didn’t KNOW dating her was putting her in danger. I keep expecting to just wake up without our miraculous or something. I’m constantly on my guard and I’m dragging her down too, like you said I’m practically stalking her and she doesn’t need that on top of all this!” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She needs counselling, man. You’re a psych student, not a therapist. You’re not a doctor. You two supporting each other is great and all but who supports you?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t even remember it. It’s not messed me up the way it has with her!” Adrien dismissed.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Just because it messes you up differently doesn’t mean it hasn’t messed you up.” Nino said gently. Adrien shook his head. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t jump when she touches me. I don’t shy away from intimacy. I don’t have panic attacks because we touched in our sleep. She does. She can’t even look Cat Noir in the eye. But she... she struggled with therapy because of the whole Ladybug thing... she can’t tell the counsellor her attacker was akumatised...”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Why not?” Nino asked, confused. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s a whole thing.” He sighed, pinching his nose. “She’s scared she’ll give herself away.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Okay so... you know there’s a whole branch of therapy based on akuma attacks, right?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Huh?” Adrien blinked. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah. Lots of akuma victims go. Incidental casualties too. I mean... Paris is screwed up, dude. We’ve all either been murderers or murdered horribly, tortured our friends and stuff. Alya went a few years ago, she found it really helpful.” Nino informed him. Adrien was confused. “I can get you the name of the therapist?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t think she’d...”</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m just saying... rather than go as Marinette... she could go as Ladybug? Or wear a different costume? One of the other miraculouses? Tell the whole story. It might help.” Ladybug going to therapy, instead of Marinette? It... was an idea... except</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I can’t advise her to do that because I’m not supposed to know she’s Ladybug.” Adrien sighed heavily. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Kay... but it’s one to keep on the cards. And there’s no reason <b>you</b> can’t go.” Pressed Nino. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t need therapy.” Adrien muttered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Dude... you’re living with the fact your dad used you to get your girlfriend pregnant. You need therapy.” He said bluntly. “You can go as Cat Noir.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien squirmed, before nodding. He’d consider it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“And then there’s the baby.” He whispered, finally sitting down. “I thought the baby shower would help... she thinks... she thinks she’s a monster because she doesn’t love our daughter yet. Her reaction... that’s the correct reaction! I... I’m happy about it? And I know I shouldn’t be because this horrific thing happened and she’s going through hell but... Marinette’s having my baby and I... I...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“There’s no right reaction here.” Nino insisted. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“A pup’s a pup.” Piped up Barkk. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“How fucked up am I that I’m happy about something that’s making her so miserable?” Adrien croaked. “But I didn’t live through that bit. I slept through the hard part and woke up with everything I ever wanted: her, a family... the baby she... She’s mine. And she’s something good that came from something horrific...” Adrien whispered, feeling guilty. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“And if you see her as something good... then treat her like it. Marinette... Marinette loves everyone.” Nino said carefully. “I get why she’s struggling. I don’t think it’ll be a problem, long term but if it is... if she can’t handle it, we’re all here, man. We’ll help.” He swore, wrapping his arms around his friend. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>——————</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette was startled to arrive home to Adrien, asleep on the sofa on Nino’s shoulder. The DJ held a finger to his lips to urge her to be quiet. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“He’s had a long day.” He said softly, the weight of everything Adrien had told him sitting heavy on his conscience. He’d been given permission to fill Alya in and throughly intended to relay it: Adrien needed back up, and wasn’t that their job as heroes? To support the team leader?</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Alya might even be able to help Marinette with some of the intimacy issues: she’d always been open about stuff like that. If they could broach it tactfully until therapy was a realistic option? Which probably wouldn’t happen until she knew the score... </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette nodded gently, toeing off her shoes and cringing at her swollen feet.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“How’d the baby shower go?” Nino asked. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“My grandma talked about pregnancy sex and Lila caused drama so... probably about the same as every other woman’s baby shower.” Marinette said gently, smiling and peering at Adrien. He looked serene asleep, but his face was tear streaked. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Is he okay?” She wondered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Think he forgets he’s human sometimes.” Nino said gently, shaking his head. “He’s fine. Just needed a good talk and a cry I think, and didn’t want to put that on you with...” he made a vague gesture at her stomach. A pang as he realised she didn’t even know the baby was his... he understood Adrien’s reasoning, but it must eat at her as much as it did him. Marinette nodded. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“He won’t cry around me.” She agreed gently, wishing he would. “He’s struggling with his father being Hawkmoth?” Presumably that was why he wouldn’t talk to her about it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Basically. I mean the man hurt a lot of people...” <em>especially you and him</em> Nino thought. He carefully shifted so Adrien slumped onto the sofa to continue his nap. “He’ll be okay. I’m going to head out... you’re glowing Marinette.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hmm. Pregnancy has taught me that ‘glowing’ is by far the kindest word for ‘huge’.” Marinette laughed, shaking her head.  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>A walk had done her good. The fresh air, the chill, just being out in the open had been calming. She ached in places she’d never ached before, and she was truthfully a little concerned with just how swollen her legs felt, but she felt better for a brief escape. Nino gave her a very quick hug goodbye, mindful of touching her too much, and saw himself out, Plagg helpfully bolting the door when he was out of sight so Marinette didn’t need to double back on tired legs. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She stared at her boyfriend before kneeling carefully on the floor beside the sofa, reaching out to stroke his messy hair back into place. He didn’t stir, and she smiled gently, content to watch him at peace. A rough few weeks were nothing they couldn’t get through, right? And he needed her as much as she needed him right now, she wasn’t about to give up just because things got hard. He woke as her fingertips ghosted along his cheek and tilted his head to kiss her palm. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Pretty sure I fell asleep on Nino...” he murmured.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You did,” Marinette said quietly. “He didn’t mind.”  Slowly Adrien sat up, while Marinette remained kneeling on the floor, resting her head against his knee. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You feeling better for that?” She wondered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes.” He ran his hand through his hair and peered down at her. “Marinette I... owe you an apology.” Her watched as her nose scrunched in confusion. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“For what?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“For... I’ve been... kind of a dick lately, huh?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No. You’ve been a <em>little</em> overprotective... okay... a lot, but I get it.” She reassured him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“In trying to keep you safe I’ve been...” Adrien swallowed hard, shaking his head. “I’ve been acting like my father.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No.” Marinette said quickly. “Adrien... no. You are <em>nothing</em> like him.” She knew her words hadn’t landed from the thin line his mouth formed and forced herself upward, despite the ache in her legs, moving onto his lap with difficulty and straddling him as best she could, holding his face. He seemed startled at the attention, she hadn’t been this close in weeks. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Look at me, and listen.” She said firmly. “Adrien Agreste you are one of the kindest, sweetest people in the world. You’re like... you know how sometimes you’re walking along and there’s a crack in the pavement, and somehow against all the odds, a flower’s blooming there? You grew in unforgiving circumstances but you’re still there, still beautiful, thriving, amazing.” She kissed his nose. “Coming from concrete doesn’t make you any less of a flower, okay?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You have the weirdest analogies.” He laughed, shaking his head. She nodded in agreement, hearing it back in her head and cringing. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Okay, it wasn’t my strongest but... Adrien... It’s not your job to protect me.” <em>It is. It has been since we were thirteen</em>. “Go back to school on Monday because I know you’ve been skipping class... but let’s go on a date tomorrow? Forget your father, forget the press... oh they’re mad at me by the way, thank you Lila Rossi.” She rolled her eyes. “But tomorrow... let’s just go be <em>us</em> again?” She offered, stroking his cheek until he leaned into it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Who else would we be?” He asked, curious.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well... we’ve only got a couple of weeks before we stop being Marinette and Adrien and have to be Maman and Papa.” She reminded him gently. Adrien paused. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Okay, so that’s the first time you’ve referred to her as mine...” he whispered. Marinette gave an awkward shrug. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Not biologically... but for all intents and purposes she is... isn’t she?” She nudged Adrien’s nose gently with her own. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes.” He agreed. “Okay. Date night tomorrow. Bath tonight?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Mmm, sounds good.” She purred. “And for the record you <em>maybe</em> had a point about staying in - two walks in one day have exhausted me!” She laughed, climbing carefully off of him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I miss being able to fit in your lap.” She grumbled as they stood up and he had to help right her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Temporary.” He reminded her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Temporary.” She agreed. A couple more weeks and the vulnerability would be reduced... sure they’d have a newborn to protect but at least she’d be able to suit up and take on anything that tried to encroach on their bubble. </p>
</div><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you all for reading and reviewing! We’re closing in on the end of this story (not imminent but we’re sort of coming to the final act).</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Time to put them through hell again. I’m... sorry?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Contains blood, gore and childbirth. You have been warned.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div>
  <p>A couple more weeks turned out to be a month. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I am TEN DAYS overdue.” Marinette whined, pacing her parents’ living room as quickly as her swollen legs would carry her. “Can someone please just get this thing <em>out</em> of me?” She complained loudly. Her mother laughed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh honey, they come when they’re ready.” She said, sipping her tea. Weekly dinner at her parents house had been Adrien’s idea: by way of apology, largely, for his over protective phase. Co-ordinated and okayed by them, and the meal itself had been lovely - but not even a spicy meal, as recommended by the baker, had helped her situation. Not even the slightest niggle of a contraction. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Nuh uh! If she’s not here in the next four days she’s being evicted, the hospital said so.” Marinette protested. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She’s having her labor induced if she doesn’t come soon.” Adrien fielded, trying not to smile as Marinette walked in circles to try bring on something she had no control over. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Like I said - evicted.” Marinette huffed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“My mother swore by the curry...” Tom apologised. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She’s not even digested it yet!” Sabine giggled.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh honey, I know you’re fed up but... isn’t this a positive sign? I mean... dating scans aren’t all that accurate the later you are in pregnancy... with only a two week gap and you now being ten days overdue... Is it not still possible Adrien’s the father?” Sabine said gently. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Mother!” Marinette squeaked indignantly at the implication, noting Adrien’s face flush.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m not judging....” Sabine sipped her tea. “Lord, knows I slept with your father on the first date.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh my god.” Marinette whined.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Honey, we don’t need to tell her that.” Tom said pointedly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well I don’t know what you’re talking about because I’ve never had sex. I’m a virgin.” Marinette said haughtily, shaking her head and refusing to have this conversation with her parents. “And I’m never <em>ever</em> doing it again because this...” she pointed at the bump. “One time deal. Never ever again!” She warned Adrien, ignoring his amused look.   </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s a good way to bring on labour.” Sabine hummed, calming continuing her tea and smirking. Marinette raised an eyebrow. “You were thirteen days overdue. Believe me we tried everything and I got <em>really</em> sick of Gina’s curry.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Maman!” Marinette howled, blushing. “Ugh. That’s quite enough of this conversation! I need to get to bed.” Adrien took his cue and stood to fetch their coats. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It was lovely to see you, thanks for having us.” He said gratefully to her parents. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hopefully next time we see you there’ll be three of you.” Tom said, giving them both a cuddle and not wishing his daughter’s torment to go on much longer. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hopefully.” Marinette agreed, moving on to her mother. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien was always quietly in awe of the affection her family showed, at how easily Tom and Sabine offered hugs even to him. Silently as they made their way slowly into the street, he vowed that Madeleine would never be without cuddles from him, should she want them. He hoped she would. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>February was still bitterly cold, but the first signs of spring were beginning to make themselves known, with snowdrops and bluebells starting to unfurl in the city flowerbeds as they walked slowly toward their apartment. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Adrien.” Marinette said suddenly, freezing. “I feel weird...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Like... baby’s coming weird?” He grinned. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No.” She whispered, feeling him still too, stopping so close she could feel his body heat in the cold of the evening. “Like we’re being watched.” Adrien’s blood ran cold at her statement. He’d never doubted her instincts before and was not about to start now, eyes darting about in the dark to assess any potential threat. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>A movement above their heads caught their eye, and Adrien’s shoulders slumped in relief as he realised who was watching them. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Tygress.” He smiled. Because Alya had taken over for Adrien - Mister Bug still patrolled, but it was Tygress who kept an eye out for Hawkmoth. True, he was still having Marinette tailed, and it probably wasn’t doing wonders for his paranoia, but with the pressure off of him a little, he was far less grouchy with Marinette. The return of freedoms he’d never meant to intrude upon had lessened her stress. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>And heightened Alya’s. Having heard the story from Nino she was petrified for her friends. She was ready to support, when needed, but until the truth came out it was all she could do to watch over them. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh.” Marinette was not calmed by the thought. Why was she following them? She couldn’t suspect Adrien surely? Maybe she was guarding them? The tiger heroine had realised she’d been caught and landed in a crouch in front of them.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Nice night.” She declared, shooting them a dazzling grin. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What are you doing here? Is there trouble?” Asked Marinette warily. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“There’s never any trouble in Paris these days, and what’s a bored super heroine to do on a nice night other than escort two beautiful celebrities back to their home in case of lurking photographers?” She beamed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“That sounds lovely.” Adrien said, glowering at her over Marinette’s shoulder. She wasn’t supposed to be seen. Tygress just shrugged and walked a little way ahead of them, twirling her tail like a majorette’s baton. Marinette followed with her now usual shuffling pace, with Adrien keeping behind her.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“When are you due?” Tygress asked casually. Marinette sighed heavily, at least grateful Alya was keeping up appearances in pretending to be a stranger. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Nearly two weeks ago.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ouch. That’s gotta hurt.” Tygress cringed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes.” Marinette huffed pointedly. Everything hurt. Babies were like 7lb right? Why did she feel like she was lugging around an extra adult? </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well we’re always just a holler away if you go into labour somewhere stupid like on a train or whatever.” Offered Tygress. Marinette laughed and shook her head: she had no intention of travelling alone any time soon so far past her due date. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“That’s very nice of you, but do you have any experience delivering babies, Miss Tiger?” She wondered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ty’s fine. I helped a cat have kittens once if that counts? But I was more thinking of a super escort to the hospital or something. Not every day you get to assist a credited designer give birth, even if I’m just a glorified taxi.” She laughed, spinning so she was facing them and walking backward. “Seriously though the papers have been mean about you lately. Wanted to check in and make sure you’re okay?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m fine.” Marinette insisted. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>They had. They were facing legal action from Gynacelle for slander, and the papers were clamouring for some sort of a confession that she’d deliberately not taken her pill or something. Adrien had already suggested making an official statement to say that his cooking had made her sick and invalidated her pill.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette staunchly insisted upon the truth: it HAD failed. She was just, apparently, in the tiny percentage of women who managed to conceive anyway. Of course there was a lot more story in Marinette being some gold digging liar than there was in them being happy, whatever the truth was. Marinette suspected Tygress spoke out of guilt for inviting Lila in the first place though, so wasn’t too angry at the subject being brought up. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She saw them to their door and gave a salute. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Good luck with the whole pushing a human being out thing!” She said cheerfully, vanishing into the air. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well that was weird.” Marinette mused.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Agreed.” Adrien laughed. Even aware of the situation he thought it was odd, she wasn’t normally spotted, but was silently pleased Nino and Alya were still keeping an eye on them. They’d been a lot more on hand since his confession to Nino, and he appreciated their friendship all the more for the silent support. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette’s key was in the door when she flinched. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ow.” She murmured. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Feet hurt again?” He asked sympathetically. Marinette shook her head. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No...” she murmured. “Adrien... I think the baby’s coming.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>—————</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Hospitals were boring. Having waited at home until the contractions were consistent and unabated, they found themselves armed with Marinette’s hospital bag and waiting. And waiting. And waiting. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>It wouldn’t have even been so bad if it wasn’t for the pain. Marinette wasn’t used to pain - not like this, and while she could endure it, after eight hours of contractions she was beginning to get more frustrated with every passing stab of pain and no promise of progress. Adrien was of course, dutifully awake with her, despite the fact it was 4am, squeezing her hand every time she grabbed for his. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It fucking hurts.” Marinette hissed, rocking with the contraction as the nurse had told her. Adrien had quickly learned that when in pain, Marinette apparently cursed a streak. He wasn’t sure he’d ever heard her swear before: if she had it was infrequent and sporadic. In labor, those rules went out the window. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“On the plus side, your grandma’s curry worked?” Adrien grinned toothily, earning a glare as Marinette crunched his hand. Even without the suit on, she was strong enough to cause actual pain, but Adrien figured it paled in comparison to hers so didn’t complain. (That, Nino had repeatedly told him, was half of his problem) Marinette was 90% certain her grandmother’s curry had nothing to do with it - the baby was very overdue after all. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Every so often, nurses came in to their room to examine Marinette, who cringed and looked away every time they lifted her robe to check on her progress. She thought it was odd to let strangers touch her so intimately, but didn’t have much of a choice as that was just where babies came from. Adrien stroked her hair and kept his eyes on her face every time she did, murmuring in her ear how proud he was of her every time she got through it without punching someone. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>When they next came though it wasn’t good news. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re still only three centimetres dilated.” The nurse said, covering her back up.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What does that mean?” Adrien asked, confused. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It means it’s going to be a long fucking night.” Marinette groaned, wincing as another pain threatened to make her scream. The nurse smiled sympathetically, overlooking the language. She wasn’t the first mother to be to swear a streak, and she wouldn’t be the last. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It means that progress is slow, that’s not necessarily a bad thing, first babies often take their time. We’re just going to pop the monitor on to make sure she’s still heading in the right direction.” Reassured the nurse. “I’ll be back with a machine.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ugh. It’s not even going to be today. Slow labour. This, this is what’s going to kill me.” Marinette grumbled, getting to her swollen feet. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re not going to die.” He promised, kissing her forehead. “I’m really proud of you.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’ve not done anything yet.” She muttered, circling the bed and then leaning forward on it, so far walking had helped, she’d circled their living room for the first few, but this time she didn’t feel quite right. Adrien thought he heard her mumble something about “neutering” and tried not to laugh. He couldn’t laugh when she was in such pain, so instead he stroked her back. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette wondered if she was supposed to be relieved Cat Noir wasn’t around for this part. She’d never felt less like a super hero, in so much pain, and was oddly glad he couldn’t see his partner in such a condition. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The next contraction didn’t just hurt, it felt like she was on fire. She screamed in agony, eyes wide as she was convinced she felt something tear inside her and Adrien stood behind her continually rubbing her back gently and wishing he could do more. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re doing so well.” He praised. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“A-Adrien the nurse.” She panted, unable to explain the uneasy feeling. Something was wrong. “The nurse, get the nurse!” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Why?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I...” she was breathless, shaking her head. Confused, Adrien nodded and helped her back on to the bed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’ll be right back.” He swore, running from the room. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>When he returned with the nurse the first thing he saw was red. He’d longed to see her back in her colours but not like this. The deep red was darker than her suit, making her skin look paler in contrast. Marinette was conscious, barely - staring up at the ceiling with glassy eyes and covered down to her knees in blood. <em>She’s dying</em> he thought, almost certain of the fact in his panic.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The nurse darted forward and hit a large red button on the wall. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She’s haemorrhaging. Possible placental abruption, we need to get her to theatre now.” The nurse said, throwing the sides up on Marinette’s bed.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“The... theatre?” Marinette blinked dazedly. “Why are we going to the theatre? Adrien what’s...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t know...” he whispered, terrified and following.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The next few minutes were a blur for Marinette as she was wheeled by an emergency team down to an operating theatre. She didn’t fight the mask being attached to her face, largely because she was already slipping from consciousness. He signed papers on her behalf, consenting to the procedure. Apparently he was given agency considering it was life or death situation and she couldn’t agree. A robe and a plastic hat were practically thrown at Adrien who, once clad in his absurd get up, watched in abject horror as Marinette was knocked unconscious by a twist of a gas canister, disrobed with no care for her dignity, and cut open. An emergency c section. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Knowing she wouldn’t be aware of what was happening, he held her limp hand, petrified at how <em>cold</em> she felt, her skin like ice. Like he’d already lost her. The knife sliced easily through her skin, and into what he could only assume was her uterus. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Blue and floppy, their daughter was practically torn out of her, whisked away to a trolley in the corner where Adrien couldn’t see what was happening. He trembled and held Marinette’s hand while the surgeons worked, he remained blissfully ignorant as to what exactly they were doing. He got the basic gist of it. Something had gone very wrong and he could lose them both. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Please.” He whispered. “Please, don’t leave me.” He begged, aware his words fell on deaf ears as Marinette slept on.  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>There was a tiny noise from the corner of the room, a high pitched squeak like a cough, and then a cry. Not dropping Marinette’s hand, he turned his head and saw the baby on the crash trolley, no longer blue and limp but pink and angry, naked and thrashing at the strangers as they removed what appeared to be a plastic bag attached to a tube from her mouth. Adrien blinked in shock. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He was a father. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>They were wrapping her up, bundling her into a towel, and then just as suddenly as she’d entered the world she was wheeled out of the room. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Baby’s come round fine.” A nurse informed him. “But she was a little low on oxygen, they’re just taking her up the neonatal unit for tests m, but she pinked up lovely and she’s breathing on her own now.” She promised. Adrien nodded - was he supposed to understand all that? “Do you want to go with her?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I... I should stay with Marinette...” he said, oddly numb. Somewhere in this hospital he had a daughter. They had a daughter. All he could focus on was Marinette’s cold hand in his. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>—————————</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>Feeling like she’d been hit by a truck, Marinette opened her eyes slowly to find Hawkmoth stood at the end of her hospital bed, holding her baby. At least... she thought it was her baby. She was wearing a red and black spotted Ladybug onesie, so she had to be hers, right? </em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>“Gimme her.” She slurred dazedly, trying to force herself to sit up properly. </em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>“Just visiting my grand daughter.” Hawkmoth smirked. </em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>“She’s not yours.” Marinette hissed.</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>“Oh but she is, Ladybug.” He said, before waltzing from the room. Literally waltzing. The baby made a good dance partner. </em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>She tilted her head as Cat Noir waltzed in out of the same door Hawkmoth had left from. He twirled in circles, barely acknowledging her before taking her hand and bowing. </em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>“Nice night, my lady.” </em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>“Hawkmoth’s got the baby.” Marinette murmured. She still felt heavy and slow, unable to get up from the hospital bed and chase after him. </em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>“What baby?” Cat Noir asked, oblivious to her panic. </em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>“Our baby!”</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>“We don’t have a baby, Bug.” He laughed, taking her hands and helping her to her feet. It hurt. It hurt and she just wanted the pain to go away. </em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>Seeing she couldn’t dance, he danced around her, the hospital room morphing into a rooftop. <b>The</b> rooftop. Bewildered, she watched him move carelessly around the space where it had all started. He didn’t know about the baby. He didn’t know Hawkmoth had her. He was happy. It wasn’t his job to help her right the mess she’d made but the baby was in danger... she needed help... </em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>“Tikki? Plagg? Anybody...” she whispered, looking around. </em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>“I’m here.” Adrien shouted. </em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>She whirled around far too fast to see Adrien waltzing across a tightrope between two rooftops - why was everyone dancing? The world was ending and everyone was just ignoring it and dancing? She had done though, hadn’t she? She’d pretended it wasn’t happening and danced with Adrien like everything was okay. </em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>In his arms, Adrien cradled the baby, at least... she thought it was a baby... it was a pink wrapped bundle. He also precariously balanced two large moving boxes one labelled <b>Hawkmoth</b> and the other labelled: <b>Marinette’s stuff</b>. Dancing along the tight rope with remarkable grace, she worried he was going to fall. He was carrying too much and most of it was her fault. She’d never meant to burden him so much but how was she supposed to carry it when she couldn’t even stand?</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>“Come down!” She yelled, scared he was going to fall while Cat Noir danced solo around her. </em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>“Whatever you say, Marinette!” Adrien called. </em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>And then he fell. </em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>——-</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Twitching, she blinked awake into a bright room, confused and numb. She couldn’t feel her legs. Or much of anything really. It took a good few minutes of confusion before she was able to discern she’d been dreaming and this was reality. She made her presence known when a murmured </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What...?” Caught Adrien’s attention and he breathed a sigh of relief. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Welcome back.” He whispered. Marinette’s head lolled toward the voice, feeling oddly detached from her body. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She saw Adrien, worn out, tired and sat in a chair by the bed. She frowned in confusion. At least he wasn’t dancing?</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You had a bleed.” Adrien explained gently. “They had to perform a c section. You... you really scared me.” He said, sounding broken. Marinette nodded as best she could, her eyes closing a little with the effort of moving her head. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She’s beautiful, Mari.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She...” her eyes snapped open. “Wait, I already had the baby?!” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Those are some awesome drugs, huh?” Adrien laughed, his tone a little thinner than usual. “Yes, you had the baby. She’s in the neonatal unit.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Is she okay?” She was vaguely aware of how slow and thick her voice was. Like syrup had been poured directly into her brain and was spilling out of her mouth. <em>That’s why everything feels slow. Syrup </em>She thought dazedly to herself, trying not to fall back asleep. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She’s okay. She was a little blue so they’re keeping an eye on her but I’ve been to see her. She’s amazing. I have photos if you want to see?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No...” Marinette mumbled. “I want to sleep.” She closed her eyes again. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Okay. You sleep.” He whispered, shuffling closer and taking her hand. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>When she next woke it was to a persistent rhythmic beeping that was driving her insane and a very annoying high pitched mewl. She batted her hand to try silence what her sleep addled brain determined to be her alarm and Plagg, in search of food. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Get your own cheese, fuzzball.” She muttered sleepily, hearing a relaxed laugh. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She’s a bit young for cheese.” Marinette opened her eyes to see Adrien and a woman she didn’t know. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>In Adrien’s arms was a tiny, pink wrapped bundle and Marinette was fairly certain her heart had stopped - the beeping monitor said it hadn’t though. Trying to sit up earned her a stern look from the nurse. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You rest dear, the anaesthetic is still wearing off and you’re a little out of it. You should start to feel a little more yourself within the hour, we can bring you some coffee and some toast to help. When you can hold a cup of coffee you can hold the baby.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“But not at the same time.” Adrien said cheerily, much brighter now she was awake and his daughter was safely in his arms. Marinette didn’t have it in her to roll her eyes, but let the nurse assist by raising the head of the bed with a button so she was sitting up. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette got the first clear look at her daughter. Tiny, new, and very upset until the man holding her placed a rubber teat to her lips and she immediately fell quiet, eyes closed as she suckled. The look on Adrien’s face was something she’d only ever seen directed at her before: his eyes full of love and wonder. Marinette’s heart raced. <em>She’s not a burden, not to him. He doesn’t mind carrying her. </em></p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She’s bottle fed?” She said, confused as to why Adrien was giving her a bottle. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You can try her on the breast when you’re a little better.” The nurse said sympathetically. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’ve been out of it for a while longer than they’d have liked.” Adrien said gently, tearing his eyes from the little girl in the cradle of his arms. “I’m sorry you weren’t the first to hold her, or feed her, this is her second feed - the nurses gave her the first. She’s never been left alone, someone’s been with her the whole time.” He babbled, silencing himself by biting his lip. Because he wasn’t entirely sure how Marinette was going to react to the baby, much less the birth plan falling apart and everyone else involved. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She gave a heavy nod, her limbs still feeling like lead and brain still full of syrup. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What happened?” She asked, confused as the nurse began taking notes from her monitors. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You started bleeding.” The nurse said softly. “Gave us all a run for our money, madam. There’s a counsellor available to talk you through it later.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Counselling?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You nearly died, Marinette.” Adrien explained to her. Marinette blinked. She did? She didn’t remember that. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She was silent as the nurse explained she’d lost a lot of blood and needed a transfusion, that Madeleine had been born with compromised oxygen but tests were all looking positive that there was no long term damage and Marinette had been dealt the bad hand. That her physical recovery was going to take a while longer than other cases. That the odds of all that happened actually happening had been incredibly small. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It was just bad luck.” Marinette whispered, surprised. She seemed to have a lot of that lately. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Pretty much.” The nurse agreed. “I’ll be back with coffee and toast. How’s she done on that bottle?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Uhm... 6 millilitres.” Adrien said, tipping the bottle up and eyeing the loss from the scale on the side. 6ml? That didn’t sound like a lot... </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Good girl. See, Maman, she’s doing fine.” The nurse reassured, before leaving the room. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien sat the baby up a little, carefully rubbing her back to try shift a small bubble of air caught in her stomach. A tiny burp and then the baby settled. Marinette could see her much more clearly as Adrien shuffled the chair closer to give her a better view. She didn’t trust her own arms yet. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She’s got so much hair...” Marinette murmured, surprised by it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She does.” Adrien agreed, lifting the pink cotton cap on her head just a little, to show off the thick blue black tufts their daughter boasted. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Reaching out a shaking hand she brushed her fingertips along the girl’s cheeks, the baby sleeping onward, unaware of her presence. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Marinette... I nearly lost both of you.” He said quietly, nearly drowned out by the hum of the fluorescent lights and the beep of the monitor. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I know. I’m sorry.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No, just... it’s not your fault. Don’t apologise, please. I just... I love you. And every time I think I couldn’t possibly love you any more than I do... I just... you’re amazing. You’re the strongest woman I’ve ever met and this one’s coming in a close second.” He praised, tears in his eyes. Marinette’s answering smile was gentle. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I didn’t do anything.” She whispered, a little lost. “I just woke up like ‘here’s your baby’.” Adrien laughed and shook his head. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“They filmed it. There’s a video of everything that happened, you’ll be able to see her come into the world.” He promised. Marinette cringed - she couldn’t think of anything more traumatic than getting to sleep through the gore and terror and then have to watch it all after the fact, but nodded.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The nurse returned with a coffee and two slices of slightly burned toast. She had to be assisted, holding the mug was a little difficult when her hands didn’t exactly feel like they were part of her body. Every mouthful seemed to take an age. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Does anyone know we’re here?” Marinette wondered, still taken back by the oddity of Adrien cradling a baby. Her baby. She was here... Marinette was a mother... she wasn’t even able to hold a mug, never mind her own child. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No. I thought they’d worry while you were still unconscious, and visiting isn’t until this afternoon anyway. They’d rather hear it from you.” Adrien told her. Madeleine was fast asleep in his arms but he didn’t set her down for a second. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Your boyfriend got some beautiful photos of her.” The nurse said kindly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>When her meal was finished, Marinette dared to glance down at her own body, finding the lack of a giant bump oddly disconcerting, but she was still very swollen around her middle. Resisting the urge to prod the lump of fat that had once been her abdominal muscle she handed the plate back to the nurse. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Would you like to hold her?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m scared my arms will give out!” Marinette squeaked, eyeing the tiny bundle with trepidation. They couldn’t trust her with something so fragile yet, surely?</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We’re both here to give you a hand, and the sides of the bed are up, there’s nowhere for her to fall in your lap. Hold your arms low...” the nurse encouraged. Marinette followed the instructions, petrified as she was sat fully upright with the bed at her back. Nothing hurt but it still felt strange: like she was half numb from the neck down. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Gently, Adrien leaned in, kissing Marinette’s forehead as he placed the little girl in her arms. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting. A numb sort of acceptance, she supposed, that this was her life now, or a sense of relief that finally her body was her own again. She hadn’t been expecting her eyes to well up and to choke a sob. Certainly hadn’t been expecting the whisper of </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh my god she’s real!” That fell from her lips. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She hadn’t been expecting the sudden tears. She hadn’t anticipated missing Cat Noir desperately: not for the first time since they’d parted ways, certainly, but by far the strongest. <em>He should be here for this. He needs to see her. She’s his. </em></p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The rush of love she’d feared would never come hit her hard as she peered at her daughter. Tiny, fragile, new. Half her, half Cat Noir, however she’d happened. She was safe, not in Hawkmoth’s clutches but in her arms. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She’s real,” Adrien promised gently “She’s here.” The nurse beamed on as she watched the pair, silently picking up Adrien’s phone from the counter and snapping a photo when they weren’t looking - she knew parents treasured these moments after the fact. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette cried, shaking her head and whispering. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Why are you sorry?!” Adrien asked, bewildered. <em>For everything. For not caring. For not liking you until this moment. For not having Cat Noir here for you. </em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I didn’t know.” She whispered. “I didn’t know I’d feel like this...” she trembled. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Like what?” Adrien wondered, rubbing her back and helping her form the cradle with her arms. Marinette swallowed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Like... like she’s part of me. I was scared I... I’m so sorry. I love you, I promise.” She mumbled at the baby who slept on cluelessly. Adrien grinned, a weight off of his shoulders. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“That’s normal.” He whispered to her, kissing her cheekbone. Marinette leaned her head against his shoulder, overcome with shock and awe. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>How could she have doubted this? How could she have worried so much? How had such a tiny creature caused so much pain and upset when she was so little and perfect? </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Never wanting to let the infant out of her sight, Marinette cuddled her close, inhaling deeply. Madeleine had her mother’s hair, what was unmistakably Cat Noir’s pointed nose, rosy cheeks and a little fan of dark eyelashes that splayed over them as she slept on. When she blinked awake, her eyes were very dark blue. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh.” Marinette murmured, astounded. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hello sleepyhead.” Adrien greeted her, giddy. Marinette <em>loved her</em>. He could probably blame hormones or something, but he didn’t care. In that moment, Adrien felt like he could float. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Her eyes are blue.” Marinette said, surprised. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Most babies are born with blue eyes, they often change... what’ve mummy and daddy got?” The nurse asked, dipping her head to assess Marinette and then Adrien. “Blue and green, pretty even chance. I’d bet money on them going green though, with that colouring.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette paused. She didn’t actually know what colour eyes Cat Noir really had. Were they really green under the mask? Mister Bug’s were still green, weren’t they? Or was that an illusion too? Something to help shield his identity? She stroked Madeleine’s face and whispered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re beautiful, either way.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Agreed.” Adrien mumbled, awestruck by the sight. “Shall we call your parents?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes please.” Marinette nodded shakily.  </p>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>All my babies came out of the sun roof. It’s the only thing I know how to write. My twins were an emergency, my youngest was scheduled. Trust me not all c sections are as scary as this, but some are. Thank you for reading and reviewing!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Chapter does cover some of the more grizzly aspects of the post natal experience. I promise we’ll get back to fluff and plot soon.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hallo. I wasn’t expecting so many reviews on the last chapter from parents of c section babies. Sending a lot of extra love to those of you who’ve been through it! This chapter’s probably another one that will bring you back to that place, so grab a cup of coffee and feel free to take a breather if it gets a bit much. ❤️</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div>
  <p>By late afternoon, Madeleine had been passed around more times than a parcel game at a child’s party, doted on by her maternal grandparents and their friends.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sabine had been quick to point out Madeleine and Adrien had a very similar nose and Adrien had just smiled innocently, worried he’d been rumbled.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What? No.” Marinette shook her head. She glanced at Adrien and then back to the baby, who looked impossibly smaller in her father’s arms. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m just saying, it might be worth getting a DNA test.” Sabine beamed. Marinette just rolled her eyes. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Alya had practically bounced off of walls, and taken a million photos with a fancy camera bigger than her new model. Nino had whispered in a corner with Adrien while his girlfriend claimed first cuddles - but when it came to his turn he cried openly. Alya got a particularly amazing photograph of Nino teary eyed and cradling the newborn like he wasn’t sure she was even real. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Even Chloé, who video called Adrien to get a peek at the newborn, hadn’t a negative word to say. Somehow that seemed like high praise indeed.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette was exhausted, she loved everyone who visited, appreciated the hugs, the kind words and the gifts but was quietly grateful when visiting hours ended for the day. Smiling and talking felt like too much effort. The numb, shaky feeling had been replaced with pain beyond what she could endure, and even the impressive doses of medication they gave her barely took the edge off. Plagg had seized a moment to congratulate her when Adrien went to the bathroom and had told her that if she suited up, he could heal her - but Marinette, tempted as she was, reasoned that she couldn’t exactly make a miraculous recovery in the hospital without raising more than a few eyebrows. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The two highlights of the day were</p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <b>1 Madeleine.</b>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>In herself she was perfect, and Marinette couldn’t surpress the urge to cuddle her at every given moment, relieved that at least her worries about not loving her own daughter had come to nothing. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <b>2 Adrien.</b>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He was in his element. She wasn’t sure she believed anybody was born a “natural” parent, but if anybody earned that title it was Adrien, who threw himself in at the deep end. He seemed as enamoured by the infant as she was, tending to her every whimper. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>By evening they wanted her to walk. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She JUST had major surgery!” Adrien panicked, shaking his head. They couldn’t ask that of her yet. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I know and it’s lousy, but it helps to keep active.” Sympathised a nurse, a different one from the morning shift. “It will help prevent blood clots, and the faster we can get you up and to the bathroom, the faster we can take that nasty catheter out, yeah?” She beamed at Marinette who only cringed. There was absolutely <b>no</b> dignity in childbirth. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Hovering, and cradling the baby, Adrien watched  on high alert as a nurse helped Marinette to her feet, wincing and squeaking in pain. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We’re just going to go to that chair okay? A few steps, that’s all we need.” The nurse cheered her on. The chair was only a couple of feet from the bed but it looked like miles. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Raising her foot caused a spike of pain in her abdomen, and she was vaguely aware she was crying as she lowered it again, shuffling slowly the few steps to the chair, clinging to the nurse’s arms the whole time. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Motherfucker.” Marinette whispered, screwing her eyes shut as she trembled. Adrien didn’t manage to suppress the snicker this time: he couldn’t help it, there was something oddly disconnecting about hearing the woman who was both level headed Ladybug and sweet Marinette, swear so vehemently. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re doing so well, you’re so close. Two more steps.” Praised the nurse. She felt helpless, but nodded and grit her teeth through it, deciding then and there that she was definitely never ever having another baby.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Two more steps felt like mountain climbing, but as she settled gingerly into the cushioned seat, mindful of the catheter, she felt a soaring sense of achievement and with the way Adrien was beaming at her he was apparently just as proud. A shaky laugh from Marinette and she gave him the thumbs up. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well done! You just let me know when you need help getting back to the bed okay.” The nurse rubbed her shoulder and then disappeared. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“And I felt useless when I couldn’t tie my shoes!” Marinette laughed, shaking her head. The chair was much comfier than the bed. “Can I hold her?” She begged. Adrien hurried to her side as she set a cradle, and he propped the baby gently into her arms, kissing Marinette’s temple as he pulled away. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re amazing.” He told her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“For taking six steps?” She asked in disbelief. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes.” He grinned. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>——————</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Six steps became twelve, twelve became sixteen. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Look at your maman.” Adrien stage whispered to their daughter, cradling her as he watched Marinette slowly walk up and down the corridor of the ward, attached to an IV line still pumping antibiotics into her to try shield her from an infection in her caesarean wound. “Strongest woman in the world. Super woman.” He told her, completely unashamed that the woman in question could hear. Marinette rolled her eyes. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The catheter was soon removed, and the IV went too. She spent the next couple of days relearning how to walk, and learning to let go of any and all remaining nerves regarding being touched. Until she could manage the shower she was reduced to bathing with a cloth and a bowl of soapy water - which she could manage on her own and made Adrien leave the room for, but the nurses regularly walked in and checked her over - they touched her often and every time her skin crawled a little less. There was nothing threatening in the way they adjusted her nipple in the baby’s mouth, nothing disturbing about the way they probed her wound. It wasn’t about her, it certainly wasn’t about sex. It was just... medical necessity. She was okay with it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>————— </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>On the third night after Madeleine’s birth, Adrien had needed to go home and collect more supplies. They hadn’t anticipated such a prolonged hospital stay and all Marinette’s many preparations hadn’t factored in all the extra nappies and clothes they all needed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The outside world seemed a little odd to him, away from the bright lights of the hospital and the warm bubble of his family it felt surreal to walk alone. The arrival of a new baby had left him worn out, and the temptation to don his spots and yo yo back and forth was strong, but the urge to protect his family was stronger. Nobody could see Mister Bug anywhere near his apartment, or the hospital. So he walked home, and between them he and Tikki collected clean baby clothes for Madeleine, clean clothes for himself and Marinette, a whole two packets of size 0 nappies and a few extra toiletries, throwing the dirty clothing in the washing machine for good measure. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Going back to the hospital was slightly less of a task: because he knew at the end of this walk she was waiting for him. Marinette going from strength to strength following her surgery. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hello, Anna.” He greeted, as the nurse let him in. Three days and he was on first name terms with half of the staff. Anna was a bubbly blond woman in her forties, and waved him in like she was greeting an old friend.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She’s wandering the corridors, likes to be up and about, your Mrs, doesn’t she?” She greeted cheerfully.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She does.” Adrien laughed. As soon as she’d been able to walk, Marinette had wanted to be moving, restless from so long kept from her usual activity. A stroll up and down the hospital hallway wasn’t anything like she was used to, and caused her a lot of pain, but it seemed to cheer her up. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Usually. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>As he wandered down the long stretch of empty hallway he could hear crying. He hesitated... it might be Marinette, in which case he should definitely keep going, but it could be another woman on the ward. He shouldn’t invade her privacy if it was a stranger... but maybe the woman needed help? He crept closer to the sound, trying to determine if the quiet sniffling was in fact his girlfriend or another new mother. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She was stood against a bay window with her back to him and a plastic tank on a trolley beside her that she’d used to wheel the baby down the corridor while she couldn’t yet carry her, but immediately he recognised her moonlit silhouette, cradling the little girl in her arms. He was about to open his mouth to let her know he’d arrived when he heard her speak. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Not tonight either, by the look of it... I hope he’s okay.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m sure he’s fine, pigtails. My kid’s tougher than he looks.” He recognised Plagg’s voice and realised with a pang why she was at the window. She’d been hoping to see Mister Bug. Belatedly he realised his apparent absence from the Paris skyline must be a weight on her mind with Hawkmoth still on the loose. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I know. I know he can take care of himself and I know I can’t tell him any of this I just... I wish he could see her.” Marinette sighed softly, a gurgle from the tiny creature in her arms. “He’d love you. Whatever happened, he would love you. I’m sure of it.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien’s heart broke all over again. He knew Marinette loved him. He didn’t doubt it any more, but hearing her pine for who she believed to be another man felt odd. Tikki shot him a worried look from his shirt pocket and he held up a finger to his lips to encourage her to stay where she was. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Your father can’t be around, little one. It’s not safe.” Marinette told her daughter. “But it’s only temporary. One day... one day he’ll meet you. I promise you both.” Adrien heard her sniff softly. “How to describe him... he’s... wild.” She laughed amid her tears. “Funny, he says that’s the most important thing so maybe we should have lead with that. Brave. He’ll never let you down, Madeleine.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien wondered what he was supposed to do. The truth, probably. She seemed ready. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I let him down. I didn’t mean to... but I did. My brain...” she sighed. “Maman’s brain is a little broken. I tried so hard not to be afraid of him. I don’t want you to be afraid. He’s not scary. Not to you. I promise. But I... I’m still afraid.” Her confession seemed to spark another flood of tears, with her back to him he couldn’t see her face but her silence spoke volumes. Maybe the truth wasn’t a good thing then? “Your papa thinks I’m a super hero. Truth is baby girl... I’m a coward.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p><em>No you’re not</em>. Adrien closed his eyes.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Madeleine gave a disgruntled noise </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Less about that, huh? Sad things are not for little ears. So... let’s talk about your papa.” Madeleine was rocked gently as Marinette spoke. “Papa... daddy? I haven’t actually asked him what he wants to be called yet. Probably should... he’s amazing. He didn’t have the best family, growing up.” It took Adrien a confusing moment to realise she was talking about him, Adrien and no longer about him Cat Noir. She moved to sit on the large windowsill, gasping with the pain of the motion. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“He lost his maman when he was still young. His father... well I can’t say what he’s like in front of a child. But all that loneliness... it made him stronger, but better than that, Madeleine... it made him kind.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien leaned against the wall with tears in his eyes. She wasn’t <em>pining</em> for Cat Noir. Not romantically. She missed her friend and hated herself for the web of lies and complications that kept them apart. She was worried for Cat Noir... wanted him involved, but her love was for Adrien. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“He loves you so much. So you, kitten, are the luckiest little girl in the world right now. Because I know what it’s like to be loved by him, and it’s... it’s like nothing I’ve ever known. I grew up loved and cared for... but nothing like this. I love him more than I even know how to put into words. And all that bad luck that lead to this moment... let’s call it universal balance. Because it wound up getting us here. And here isn’t a bad place to be, baby girl.” She whispered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien, choked up, didn’t have a clue what to say as he watched her place a gentle kiss on her daughter’s forehead. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We should get back to the bed, he’ll be back soon.” Marinette groaned, struggling to her feet. Instinctively, he was at her side in a second, Plagg barely having time to dart out of sight into Marinette’s dressing gown. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Wide eyed, Marinette blinked at him. In the moonlight everything glowed as blue as her eyes. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh , when did you...” she began, startled. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Just now.” He lied, speaking gently. “You need help getting back to bed?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I... yes.” She admitted. “If you carry her I can use the trolley as a walker.” She nodded at the plastic cart that had housed the baby on her trip up the corridor. Adrien carefully lifted their daughter from her arms. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>———</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette hadn’t been prepared to see the wound - her stomach held together with bandages and sterile strips which were changed often. The cut, when exposed stretched from hip to hip, red and angry with white plastic threaded through it. As a seamstress she appreciated the neat stitching but was beyond disturbed that it wasn't pretty fabric but her own skin that was being held together by dissolving thread.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She felt sick seeing herself like that, but at least she knew why it hurt so badly. Adrien squeezed her hand. He was allowed to stay for this part, Marinette preferred having his hand to hold. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We’re going to leave this set on for now, see if we can get you a shower, then we’ll remove the wet dressings and give you new ones.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Is she ready for that?” Adrien worried. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“There’s a chair she can sit on in there, and I promise that you’ll feel a bit more human for a hair wash and a proper scrub.” The doctor told her kindly. Marinette hummed, nodding. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It does sound good.” She agreed longingly, a long warm shower sounded like her idea of heaven. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You can have a nurse assist you, or we can take Madeleine to the bay while your boyfriend helps?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The bay was a godsend, Marinette had learned. Adrien was permitted to stay at the hospital with her, but the fold out bed wasn’t very comfortable, and with Marinette unable to take charge of the baby on her own (she’d made enough progress that she could wheel Madeleine’s tank close to the bed and lift her out of it on her own, and carry her in the corridor sometimes, but struggled to change her nappy or change her clothing on her own as she couldn’t yet bend) he was flat out exhausted. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The bay was a little side room with a nurse in, where the babies were left while mothers showered, or fathers napped. Marinette had fretted at first, not wanting Madeleine to be out of her sight, but the infants were all tagged and visitors weren’t allowed in or out of the bay. It was very secure. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>But a nurse or Adrien accompanying her for a shower meant someone would see her naked and she wasn’t sure of that either way. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I can’t go on my own?” She whined. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Not yet.” The doctor said sympathetically. “If you slip or get stuck someone has to be on hand to help, and you won’t be able to get to the call button.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh.” Marinette murmured, embarrassed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Which would you prefer?” Adrien asked her gently. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You.” She said decisively. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s at the end of the hall, if you’re accompanied, you can lock the door so nobody will barge in. There’s some towels in there, and don’t worry about getting your dressings wet as we’ll change them after.” The doctor reassured, wheeling Madeleine from the room. They both watched with eagle eyed attentiveness borne of paranoia, to make sure she went into the bay and not off the ward. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Whenever you’re ready.” Adrien’s smile never waivered. Grimacing, she gathered the necessary supplies: her cherry bath soap, Adrien’s coconut shampoo that she’d now claimed as her own, her bath puff, some clean clothes. Adrien took her hands and helped her to cautious feet. Walking was one thing, getting up was a whole other thing. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She couldn’t wait to be home: cheating or not she was definitely taking Plagg up on his offer of healing her. The slow shuffle to the bathroom took an age, but the shower room was spacious, with uncomfortable ridged tiles to prevent falls, and a chair positioned under the shower head. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette took a deep breath. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“This isn’t how I pictured this.” She mumbled, embarrassed as Adrien set her clean clothes to one side and tugged two hospital issue white towels from the rack. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s pretty much the same as the visitor’s bathroom.” He told her, confused. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Not... not what I meant.” She said, sighing and gingerly tucking her arms in to her oversized, comfy jumper, wriggling it off over her head. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What did you mean?” He asked, taking the jumper and setting it aside.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“This isn’t how I thought you’d first see me naked.” She muttered darkly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh...” he realised this was a big step and chewed his lip. In all the chaos of a newborn he’d almost forgotten... “Do you want me to close my eyes?” He offered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No use both of us being incapacitated. I need help getting into the chair.” She said miserably, removing the least sexy bra she owned - a nursing bra that was effectively a white strip of fabric that supported her breasts like a bandage, and folded down so she could feed Madeleine easily. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She tossed it aside, carefully pulling her leggings from her hips and down over the wound. She couldn’t bend to remove them properly, so had to step out of them. The mesh knickers they provided were practical, not pretty, built to support a sanitary towel. She disposed of those too, avoiding his gaze as shame crept in.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Her breasts were swollen with milk, sore from trying to establish a satisfactory latch and kick start a supply that was apparently hampered by a caesarean. Where her abdominal muscles had once been taut and firm, they had endured nine months of swelling and stretching and hung instead as a sheet of skin like a deflated balloon, an awkward bulge where her muscles had been severed to cut the baby from her body. Stretch marks crept across her thighs and hips like spider webs, still fresh and bright purple. The wound itself was stained with medical dye and bruising, dried blood still sticking to the parts with surgical tape glue. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Knowing she could recover, even knowing she could have a helping hand via Plagg that most women couldn’t get didn’t comfort her much. She felt ruined, broken and exhausted. Ladybug seemed a lifetime ago. Tears sprung to her eyes unbidden. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re beautiful.” Adrien said simply, startling her. She shook her head. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m really not.” She mumbled, ashamed. This hadn’t been what Adrien signed up for when he asked her out. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I know you don’t think you are right now, but for what it’s worth I do.” He whispered, stepping closer, and taking her hand, carefully leading her toward the bath chair. “And four days ago you were nearly dead... and now you’re up and about and showering. You’re amazing, Marinette. A real super hero.” He said honestly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He eased her down into the chair, wiping her tears with his thumb as she winced with both pain and humiliation. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Recovery isn’t pretty is it?” She murmured, embarrassed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No, it’s not, it’s hard work. I can’t even begin to imagine the pain you’re in, but it will improve. It’s only temporary.” He promised, kissing her forehead gently. “I love you.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She didn’t doubt him, but felt an odd flare of something in her chest. There was no pity in his soft expression, he looked at her with the same wonder he always had done, love and awe apparent on his face even now when she felt so insecure, he didn’t doubt her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Marry me?” She said, in that moment certain that he was the one. That everything they’d been through so far proved he’d been the one all along. She’d just got a little lost along the way. Adrien laughed gently. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“And you told <em>me</em> to stop asking at strange moments.” He teased. “I’m not saying no, but for the record I already have a ring picked out and we’ll do this again, properly, when you’re not crying.” He promised her. “Let’s get you cleaned up for now okay?” Marinette nodded. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>It was only when she was showered and feeling much brighter, with Madeleine back in her arms and Adrien gently brushing out her hair with the same reverence he always had, that something occurred to her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Did you ever pick a middle name?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“If you’re willing... Marie.” Adrien offered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Madeleine Marie...” She hummed, trying it out on her tongue. “Why Marie?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Two reasons.” He told her, carefully wrapping the bobble around her left pigtail. “The first is that her father picked Madeleine, and I figured you deserved to be in there somewhere, so Mari/Marie...” she shook her head, she quite liked Marie but he could have chosen anything, she’d already picked her last name after all.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“And the second reason?” She wondered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well... you pretended she was a kitten... and I get all my best moves from Disney movies.” He reminded her. Suddenly accosted with the mental image of her daughter in a big pink bow, a la Marie from the Aristocats, Marinette dissolved into giggles. Adrien chuckled, finishing her right hair tie. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Madeleine Marie Dupain-Cheng.” She agreed gently. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hawkmoth who? <br/>I’ve not forgotten about him, honest.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Chapter 19</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hear thunder... think this chapter is the last of the calm before the storm, dear readers, get comfy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div>
  <p>Marinette had never been more grateful to see their home. Freedom! And it wasn’t just the promise of an imminent patch job from the restless kwami who resided in her hospital bag. Their cosy living room, their comfy sofa (had it always looked so tattered and worn? She couldn’t remember), their own little warm family bubble was so far removed from the sterile, brightly lit hospital they’d spent the week in that Marinette nearly wept at the familiar scene. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’ll get her in her basket and then make a coffee?” Adrien offered, setting the pink car seat on the floor and kneeling to unstrap Madeleine from it. Marinette grinned. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I can have real coffee again!” She chimed happily. He’d carried the car seat in, because under doctors’ orders she wasn’t allowed to lift anything heavier than the baby for six whole weeks. No sex (so as to avoid injury). No baths - showers only (so as to avoid infection).</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Not that Marinette intended to obey any of that - the moment she was alone she intended to take Plagg up on his offer and put her claws out and then she was going to enjoy that forbidden bath, surgery or not. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>It was the first time she’d been truly grateful that they’d swapped kwamis for the time being (though she intended to rectify that as soon as she was up to the job). While Tikki would never want her to suffer, she suspected the more sensible of the duo would likely discourage her using her powers for personal benefit. Justifying it in her head as: <em>the faster I heal, the faster I can protect my family and the rest of Paris</em> didn’t quite ease the slight guilt she felt that she was taking a shortcut. Reasoning that she wasn’t actually just cutting corners - it wasn’t like she was expecting her old figure back immediately or anything, she was only healing the wound, the rest would be achieved with good old fashioned exercise and hard work... and a little superheroism if time allowed for it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Speaking of time, as if on cue, Madeleine began to whimper. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hold off on the coffee until after she’s had her feed?” Marinette suggested with a sigh. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Sounds like a plan. I’ll get your pillow.” He kissed her cheek and instead of placing Madeleine in the basket he handed her to her mother. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Breastfeeding, Marinette had soon learned, was exhausting. Every two and a half hours, for now, she had to sit still for half an hour while Madeleine fed. She’d forgotten what sleep was, but had successfully managed to figure out the straps and panels involved in a few feeding specific shirts, so could feed her discretely. She didn’t even hesitate now, despite Adrien’s presence, parting the panel and unfastening the latch on her bra. As soon as the c shaped pillow appeared on her lap, courtesy of Adrien, Madeleine began feeding. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He sat beside her and stroked Madeleine’s hair gently, paying absolutely no mind to Marinette’s bare breast. Sex and feeding were two whole different things and there was an odd freedom to completely desexualising a part of herself - she wasn’t entire sure of the logic behind it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Welcome home little one.” He cooed softly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What do we do about announcing her birth?” Marinette yawned and Adrien hesitated for a moment to consider it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>On one hand he was unashamed - wanting the world to know she existed, that whatever the press were saying about Marinette that Adrien was as in love with her as ever and their daughter was well loved and now on both counts a welcome little accident... on the other hand it meant potentially alerting his father to her existence. Of course, it was now three weeks after her due date and while the world didn’t know exactly when she was expected to arrive - Hawkmoth almost certainly did. He’d already know. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Get Alya to bring her decent camera over when she next visits, we’ll get a couple of nice photos together and I’ll make a post on social media, yeah?” He offered. Alya and Nino had both been to the hospital for visiting a few times. He’d never been more grateful for them - especially when he’d caught Marinette nervously checking the Ladyblog on her phone one night during a feed. He needed to put in an appearance as Mister Bug soon to save her the worry.   </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Phht this involves me wearing real clothes doesn’t it?” Marinette snorted, ignoring his chuckle. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes, you have to wear clothes.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She switched Madeleine to the other side, making herself decent on the first before looking around the apartment she’d once felt so trapped in. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Home sweet home.” She sighed happily.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Once fed and winded, Madeleine was content to doze in her basket, unaware of her parents’ doting gazes as they revelled in the quiet moment. Marinette watched her face. The first time her mother had met her granddaughter, Sabine had continued in the vein of ‘it’s still possible Adrien is the father’ by insisting Madeleine had Adrien’s nose. Where Marinette had certainly seen Cat Noir’s slightly pointed nose, and while Marinette knew she and Adrien hadn’t slept together on the first date, or at all (yet), she could sort of see what her mother meant, looking at them both now. She concluded that she, apparently, had a type. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’ll go sort out a coffee.” Adrien smiled. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Not wanting to leave the baby unattended, Marinette waited until he returned with the mugs before excusing herself to the bathroom. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You know the words, right Princess?” Plagg said, the moment the door was locked behind her. Marinette nodded in relief, pleased that the painful walk to the bathroom would be her last. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Plagg.” She whispered. “Claws out.” Green light and black leather wrapped around her and she buckled at the sensation of tightening in her abdomen, as powerful magic set to work knitting her torn muscles back together. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Wearing Cat Noir’s suit felt... weird. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>In the living room Adrien pretended not to notice the flash of green light from under the bathroom door, laughing gently and shaking his head. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well, looks like she’s feeling better.” He said quietly, as Tikki emerged from his shirt pocket. His kwami had stolen a few moments to see the baby, when Marinette was sleeping or in the shower once she’d been able to go alone, and she had explained to Adrien the plan to heal Marinette as soon as they were able. Contrary to Marinette’s beliefs, Tikki not only approved, but encouraged it - Marinette needed to be safe and her health was important. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m glad she won’t be in pain any more. The confidence issues we can’t fix, but that’s down to you and her.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“When do we switch back?” He wondered.  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“When she makes the call I suppose. I expect she’ll want to be Ladybug instead of Lady Noire soon enough... but for now...” another flash of light from the bathroom, which caused Adrien to smirk. How on Earth had she not figured him out yet when they were forever sneaking off and transforming under each other’s noses? </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette emerged from the bathroom, her shuffle much more affected now that she wasn’t weighed down with pain. The brief transformation had tired Plagg out, but he’d managed to turn the tattered surgical site into a thin white scar, to repair her torn muscles and overworked organs before venturing off in search of cheese. The swelling had largely reduced on its own over the week, but with the last of it removed Marinette felt lighter and calmer, certainly less fragile. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Coffee should be drinkable.” Adrien told her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Thank you.” She said appreciatively, leaning forward and picking up her own mug. Adrien smiled softly at the unhindered movement. She looked happy. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Welcome back, Marinette. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>—————— </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She changed her mind. She quite liked the cat suit.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Plagg had given her two braids instead of one, which admittedly made her feel a little like an anime character, but largely it remained unchanged from her brief foray into playing the black cat years ago. The leather clung tight to her figure, but was strong enough to support her, cinching in the extra weight she was working to lose. A glance in the mirror had told her that nobody would suspect she’d just had a baby, so a cape wasn’t necessary... her breasts were definitely bigger but if the worst the gossip blogs could come up with to explain her absence were claims she’d had a boob job then so be it. Every spare moment (of which there were unsurprisingly very few with a new baby) found her doing sit ups and crunches, push ups and - when possible, transforming and practising with the baton. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>It wasn’t her yo yo, and she’d be wanting that back when she was ready to venture out into the city, but when confined to practising in her craft room or the bathroom, it did the job - handy for impromptu pull ups and gymnastic tricks too. No wonder Cat Noir was always twirling and hopping off the thing. It was kind of fun. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The midwife had insisted, upon her visit, that there was no such thing as a ‘good baby’, but Madeleine was, whatever they said - she fed and slept and filled her nappy pretty much perfectly on schedule, allowing Marinette and Adrien to allocate time as necessary. But he did have to go back to school after a couple of weeks, okay so he only had four classes a week, but it kept him away long enough to make him nervous. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Still, he came home after his first journey out relieved to find Madeleine asleep in her basket and a suspiciously out of breath Marinette pretending she’d been working on her sewing the whole time. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Good day?” He smiled.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You left for three hours.” She said pointedly. “I’m all better now, I can pick her up on my own and everything!” She insisted. It had been a good day though. Even in the wrong suit, she felt more alive as a hero than she had done in months. The Ladyblog had updated with a brief glimpse of Mister Bug, so he was safe. Madeleine had cuddled up to Lady Noire with no qualms at all about the different texture to snuggle into. It had been a very good day. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien nuzzled Marinette’s neck - content to keep up the charade of looking after her during her recovery even though he knew she was long since healed. Marinette purred into the touch, and he stifled a laugh - she’d made pleased noises before but never such a genuine purr, Plagg was clearly starting to rub off on her. Blushing at her misstep, Marinette set her untouched sewing project on the table, glancing at the baby who ought to be asleep for another half an hour before her next feed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>After two weeks at home, they’d found a new normal: adjusting to the interloper easily enough. Technically Marinette was still supposed to be healing up, but she hadn’t forgotten the first shower at the hospital, the moment she’d realised he was undeniably, emphatically <em>it</em> for her. Between the new baby and resuming her training she hadn’t had much time for the little things from the list. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>And she <em>wanted</em>. Her body was all her own again, (save for feeding), in a way it hadn’t been in months. Cat Noir’s child no longer squirmed in her abdomen and made her feel guilty for all she’d done to him, for dragging Adrien into it all. She was besotted with the baby, as was Adrien, but having her own autonomy back had stirred something deep within her. Her body was her own again and desperately, she wanted to share that with Adrien, however she could. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Swinging her leg over his was remarkably easy, and she slipped into his lap, smiling gently. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hello...” He greeted. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I fit here again.” She said pointedly, recalling a time when getting on his lap had been more awkward than comfortable. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You do.” He agreed, kissing her softly, but when she returned it she was not so delicate, drawing him in for a deep kiss and silently pleading for him to part his lips. Obliging, he was more than a little surprised when her hand slid under his shirt.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“The doctor said you’re not allowed for six weeks.” He added, but didn’t stop her as her other hand wandered down to his zipper.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“The doctor says a lot of things...” Marinette huffed. “And she said <em>nothing</em> about blowjobs. That can’t possibly harm my recovery.” Reasoned the young woman, smirking at the pleasantly bewildered expression on Adrien’s face “Please?” She queried, donning a pout. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien was in two minds. It wasn’t the first time she’d suggested this particular act, so he was fairly certain she wouldn’t panic if she had a plan and he’d be lying through his teeth if he said he wasn’t interested. On the other hand how ethical was it to fool around with a baby in the room? Other parents of newborns must, right? What was the etiquette here? Marinette’s hand had frozen, waiting for permission. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
<p></p><div><p>“Mari... god I’m tempted...” he murmured. Tempted was an understatement, the look in her eyes drawing him in. “But Maddy’s right there...” </p></div><div><p>“She can’t exactly sit up and turn around yet, even if she wakes up she can’t see us.” Marinette laughed, her finger tips teasing his zipper as she bit her lip. “Please?” </p></div></div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien kissed her, with as much ferocity as she had earlier, letting her know he was definitely not objecting to the offer - just a little cautious of the correct behaviour. She was right, he supposed, it wasn’t as though Madeleine could see them, or had a clue what was going on. Marinette hummed in approval, working his zipper down as they kissed, a deft flick of her wrist undid his button just as the mail arrived with a clatter and then a startled</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Awaaaa” from the Moses basket a few feet away. Marinette burst into giggles, setting her forehead against his. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Okay, you may have had a point.” She said apologetically, kissing him and then clambering off of him to see to the baby. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien needed a moment to compose himself, trying not to be amused at the poor timing but truly: they had the worst luck when it came to that, apparently. The world was conspiring against Adrien Agreste getting a blow job... but there were worst things the world could be doing, he supposed. He went to fetch the letters as soon as he was able to walk straight, watching Marinette stride around the room bobbing Madeleine gently in her arms. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh... our therapy appointment is on Tuesday.” He read aloud, one of the unremarkable white letters containing a hospital appointment slip. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Therapy?” Marinette asked, bewildered: what therapy?</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“The birth trauma counselling.” He said gently.“Oh.” Marinette hummed, rocking Madeleine and frowning. “I don’t feel like I need it? I slept through it, I’m not traumatised.” She dismissed. “It’s not mandatory right?” Adrien opened his mouth to speak but then snapped it shut.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He felt a little foolish for being more affected by her birth experience than she was... Nino kept on at him about going to the therapist who dealt with akuma related trauma, but he felt better for having vented at Nino - not completely better, definitely, but at least able to manage at home - and thus had avoided the issue of therapy as much as possible. That was her issue to deal with. But this... this was something he was actually struggling with. He wished she’d go but could hardly force her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No.” He whispered, gaze falling to the floor. “It’s not mandatory.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What’s with that look?” She asked suspiciously. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“There was no look.” He muttered, folding up the letter. “It’s fine if you don’t want to go.”  Frowning, Marinette approached. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Do <em>you</em> need to go?” She asked carefully, tilting her head.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Adrien. It’s okay. We’ll go together.” She kissed his cheek. “Oh wait... can we bring Madeleine?” The worry in her voice was evident: neither felt safe leaving her with anybody just yet.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien suspected that was the only real reason they hadn’t switched miraculous back yet: she wanted to go out and do the swap herself, rather than risk the kwamis carrying them again, but didn’t yet feel able to leave her daughter with someone she incorrectly believed to be a civilian. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Uhm...” Adrien scanned the letter. “It doesn’t actually specify but she’s breastfed and it’s a medical appointment so I’m guessing we can?” He frowned. “I could call and check? Or we could just skip it... it’s not that important.” He murmured. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Adrien... I’m sorry for not realising... you watched someone you love haemorrhaging that’s a pretty big deal. Your feelings are important.” She swore. She’d watched people she cared for die before, but always under the knowledge she could bring them back if she carried on and didn’t screw up too badly, and she was a super heroine. She understood it would hit differently under the circumstances: that it was real to Adrien in a way it wasn’t to her, as she’d been asleep through the scary part and only woke when everything was safe. She kissed his nose. “We’ll take her with us.” She promised. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien paused and then rested his forehead against hers, eyes closed as he whispered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Thank you.” Hesitating, remembering her speech to Madeleine when they were in hospital, he continued. “I didn’t grow up in a household where it was okay to... to talk about stuff like this. I mean my mother was lovely but... after she disappeared... it wasn’t exactly allowed.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You know that’s not healthy?” Marinette soothed. “Pretty sure bottling it all up is what caused my panic attacks.” <em>And mine</em> he thought, nodding. “Normal people have emotions, Adrien. Good and bad. It’s okay that you’re struggling with it, you can talk to me and to the doctors, to the surgeons who were there... if it will help then I’m in. Okay?” She promised. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>——————</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Frankly the whole appointment was uncomfortable.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>It ran late so Madeleine required a feed half way through the surgeon explaining the procedure, heavy with medical jargon. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette sat and watched, squirming as they relayed the video (apparently they filmed for two reasons - to cover their back in case of lawsuits, and to give the parents evidence of their baby’s birth) she felt detached. She could see her body being cut open and people’s gloved hands inside her... the only thing that genuinely made her teary was the sight of Madeleine being pulled, blue and floppy from her prone form. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien cried. Marinette could count on one hand the times he’d actually allowed himself to cry in front of her. Living through it once had been hard enough, but seeing it again dragged it up: how close he’d been to losing them. Except he hadn’t. The doctor explained that lots of babies were born blue, that she’d recovered absolutely perfectly and Madeleine had been born in time to prevent any lasting damage. Marinette stroked her daughter’s hair. Marinette’s bleed, however, had taken longer to stem than they would have liked - she’d been most at risk. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“If you decide to have more children, we’d prefer a scheduled c section before the onset of labour, to try avoid another abruption.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Wait, you want to put her through that again?!” Adrien squawked in alarm. They were insane. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t want any more children.” Marinette said gently. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s safer than a natural labour, and a scheduled Cesarean is a very different experience. It’s much more laid back.” They continued, Marinette tuned out, switching Madeleine to the other breast and squeezing Adrien’s hand as they talked him through it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She had thought she was largely unaffected by it, but there was an odd sense of completion in having watched the procedure. She’d survived that admittedly gorey scene, and come out relatively unharmed - okay a rough start to her recovery, but emotionally and physically she was unscathed. She’d nearly died and it barely registered as a problem, partially because such good had come out of it. If she could survive all that, she believed she could survive anything. She found herself smiling, confidence surging as Adrien thanked the doctors for their support and they gathered their things. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Madeleine looked adorable in her stroller - a black contraption with a silver frame and pastel pink mattress. Nestled in her white blankets, and sleeping off the milk, she was by far the most beautiful baby Marinette had seen even with her own bias. Adrien’s arm slid around her as they walked. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“This is our first real trip out.” He realised quietly, lamenting that it was to the hospital for a painful but necessary conversation. He felt a little better for it, at least, reassured that they’d been in good hands and that Marinette wasn’t repressing any trauma: she was okay. Still, he suspected it wouldn’t quell the nightmares he was having of her dying on the operating table though... maybe Adrien needed proper therapy instead of a one off session after all... as himself, rather than Cat Noir?</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Mmhmm.” She agreed, pushing the stroller until it caught on the hospital step. Adrien ducked down to lift the wheel, smiling at her as he recalled one of their first jobs post Hawkmoth had been unsticking a stroller with a baby girl in it. “Want to make a thing of it? We’ll go to the park?” She offered, grateful for the assistance and the fresh March air. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>They veered toward the park near the bakery, ambling slowly around with no real goal in mind other than wandering through the beginnings of the spring greenery. Pausing briefly just to feel the breeze on her face, Marinette relaxed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s nice to be out.” She whispered, having become so used to being confined to the apartment due to advancing pregnancy, Adrien’s overprotective phase, and then a newborn. His arm settled back about her waist. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It is.” He agreed, fascinated by the effect the world was having on her features: more and more everyday he could see her coming back to herself. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>In the same way he’d fallen so deeply in love with Ladybug when they were thirteen, only to realise in hindsight that he’d barely dipped below the surface, he was seeing now how damaged and broken she’d been previously by her ordeal, how far she’d progressed and healed, how she was thriving. A stir of pride and he kissed her cheek, ignoring the photographers and nosey passers by. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>They stopped at a bench, Madeleine still sound asleep. Double checking her blankets were still secure, Marinette sat next to him and bit her lip. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Does it bother you that I don’t want more children?” Her legs crossed nervously as she spoke. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Not really. I mean...” he paused, wondering whether to admit it but plowed on. “I always thought I’d have three.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Me too.” She laughed, shaking her head. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“But that was sort of a childish fantasy. The reality of it’s... a lot harder, huh?” He peered into the pram, amazed at the tiny wonder asleep in there. “I’m in no hurry to see you on that operating table again.” He whispered, knowing how close his worst fear of her leaving him had been that day. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You might change your mind - and if you do I’ll support you, but if you don’t... I’m okay with just her.” He said gently. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You don’t...” She seemed apprehensive. “You don’t want one of your own? I don’t think I’m going to change my mind. I know I might when it’s not all so...” <em>Chaotic. Dangerous. Risky. Fresh. </em>She wasn’t going to rule it out, especially when Hawkmoth was her biggest fear and he hopefully wouldn’t be around forever, but as it stood she didn’t want to go through that helplessness again, she was just starting to discover who she was again, having been forcibly estranged from her own body for so long. “But if I don’t change my mind... am I taking something away from you?” She wondered aloud. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien paused. Her argument was moot of course - Madeleine was his. Still he considered it: would he feel differently if she wasn’t his flesh and blood? He didn’t think he would, it certainly wasn’t something he wanted them to go into ever again without careful consideration, but would he have found himself longing for a baby with his own genetic imprint if he couldn’t see himself in the little girl in front of him?</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He couldn’t unsee his own nose, or the shape of his mother’s eyes, he couldn’t pretend those murky blue orbs weren’t looking greener day by day. He simply couldn’t imagine she wasn’t his, but if she had she been born looking exactly like Marinette? Or like a complete stranger? Would he still love her as if she was his own child, or want for more? There was no question - he knew the answer. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re not taking anything away from me.” He promised. “I love her, and I’d love her whoever her father was. DNA doesn’t matter here.” He insisted, feeling Marinette’s head flop onto his shoulder in relief. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>For a long moment they sat, enjoying the quiet of the park in the middle of a Tuesday afternoon. When she spoke again it was to say </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Come on, let’s go visit my parents. She’s not seen the bakery yet.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>——————</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>It wasn’t like she was enlisting Plagg to babysit or anything. His job was to simply stay in the room and breathe near her while she slept, ensuring she kept a regular rhythm - as Marinette was a little over cautious and wanted to make sure she took no risks. She only planned on being in the next room, so she’d hear if Madeleine woke before her scheduled feed, and on the very slim chance Hawkmoth was to swoop in, Plagg promised to break something loud to get their attention. Her anxiety had been exhausting before Madeleine was born, with the addition of a new baby Marinette was run off her feet. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Having explained Plagg’s duty to him, Marinette slipped from the room, following Adrien into the kitchen where he’d gone to make a coffee. They seemed to live from mug to mug these days. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hi.” She smirked. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hi. She settled then?” She’d still been putting up a fight when Adrien had left the room. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Mmhmm...” Marinette purred, sliding her arms around his waist and cuddling him from behind, dropping kisses between his shoulder blades through the thin fabric of his shirt. “Should be down for a little while.” She whispered against his back, her voice high and breathy. A shiver raced up his spine as he recognised the situation for what it was: a seduction. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He turned slowly, abandoning his quest for the sugar jar and found himself pressed gently against the counter, her lips immediately heading for his collarbone. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Someone’s in a mood.” He chuckled gently. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Are you complaining?” She didn’t even venture far enough away from his neck for her lips to leave his skin as she spoke, hands skimming his sides. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Definitely not.” He confirmed - they’d had no time alone since Madeleine was born, and even before it things had been too tense and uncomfortable to pay much mind to desires. If his lady wanted attention then attention she would get. Tilting her head up until their lips met, his sweet kiss was rebuffed with one altogether more fierce - Adrien unsure whether her desperation was due to the potential time constraint or from having neglected each other too long. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>However, after only a minute or two of kissing it became apparent his attention wasn’t what she was after, edging him until his back was against the wall, unbuttoning his shirt as she went, a mischievous look in her eye as she pulled back. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Trust me?” She asked gently. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“With my life.” He swore, a little confused. The smirk on her face said it all, as she pushed his shirt open, exposing his torso and slowly trailing her fingers down his chest. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’ve wanted to do this for a while... but I wasn’t exactly able to get down on my knees towards the end.” Marinette told him, making sure he was clear on the plan. Adrien swallowed hard and nodded his approval, barely daring to blink as Marinette’s mouth followed the path of tingling skin her fingers had left in their wake. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Before she’d even reached the waistband of his jeans he emitted a soft groan as the reality of the situation hit him. Admittedly he was still half expecting Hawkmoth to choose that particular moment to strike, having been interrupted before. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>An amused glance upward through fanned lashes told him Marinette knew exactly what she was doing, pressing open mouthed kisses to his abdomen as she sank down on her knees before him. Research had been done - she’d asked Alya for tips (claiming to be bad at it, rather than never having done it) and Alya (knowing the truth and suspecting she had in fact never done it) had been very thorough in her descriptions. If sex tips were the only way she could support her friend through a tragedy she wasn’t supposed to know about then so be it. Marinette had also viewed some very questionable websites that made her hope Adrien never checked their browser history, she sort of knew what she was doing, and what she was uncertain of she decided to feign confidence in.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She knew that pulling down his zipper with her teeth would look good if she could get it right, but would most likely end in awkwardness or (knowing her luck lately) a chipped tooth, so instead she cupped his growing arousal through his jeans and used her fingers to catch the tag on the downstroke, sliding it down in one motion. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Flicking the button open, she shifted her hand away from his length, settling it on his hip and once more returning to kissing, able to reach lower on his hips now the waistband of his jeans was no longer hindering her journey south. The heat of her breath against sensitive skin had him dizzy, moreso as she eased the denim down about his thighs, his boxers taut with the desire for more.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>More of this. More of her. More of that wicked glint in her eye. Desperate for more but apparently not prepared for it, he ought to have been embarrassed by the whimper that leapt from his throat as her tongue darted out and swept the thin fabric of his boxers, but he was too dazed to care. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The expression of ‘on your knees’ had always conjured images for Marinette of helplessness, of submission, of failure - clearly the term wasn’t referring to this. Every brush of her fingertips and flick of her tongue had him completely at her mercy and she was spurred on by the sheer power she held in this position. His boxers followed his jeans, leaving his erection bare and twitching insistently at her cheek. Wondering now why she’d never dared get this close, she lapped curiously at his head, revelling in the groan from above. An open mouthed kiss and he gave her another, and by the time her tongue traced a vein along his underside he was muttering her name to the ceiling like a prayer. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Slowly, mindful of finding her own limits and her own pace, she explored, making mental notes of which actions caused moans and which caused his breath to hitch. Figuring out he preferred her licking closer to the tip where he was more sensitive took no time at all, and discovering his hands flailing in confusion when she wrapped her lips around him caused her own core to pulse in arousal. Turned on, Adrien Agreste might just have been the sexiest thing she’d ever seen. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The tight ring of her mouth moved up his shaft and when she could go no further up his length she recalled a helpful hint from the depths of the internet, gripping him where she could not reach. A thumb and two fingers in a loose circle as she chased her own lips back and forth, bobbing her head. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ffffuck.” Adrien groaned, earning a pleased hum from his girlfriend. Apparently he liked that too, and she added a faint mmm every time his cock was nearly completely out of her mouth. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>It took her a very short time to discover she <em>liked</em> it. Part of her had always known she’d liked getting Adrien off, more than she liked the idea of being touched certainly. She wasn’t sure if it was the fact she’d never tried this with Cat Noir, and thus had no reason to fear it, or if she’d made enough progress that the idea of sex wasn’t as scary as it had been, the reclamation of her own skin, or simply the knowledge that if she could survive nearly dying in a hospital of something beyond her control she could definitely survive sucking her boyfriend off. Whatever the reason was, she felt confident. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Her control only faltered as he neared his release, hips bucking forward of their own accord in an effort to follow her every time she moved away. Tonight was not the night for that - while she had no objection to it, she trusted him and the thought of him truly thrusting into her throat sparked something carnal inside her mind that she suspected might just be a hair pulling kink she’d long since buried, there’d be plenty of time to discover things like that. Tonight she wanted to keep her advantage, so pressed her free palm to his hip, forcing him to still. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>A glance upward proved Adrien was trying to stifle his cries with his elbow, rather unsuccessfully. Deciding that as fun as it was to bring him to a state of ecstasy that caused him to scream, it was likely to wake the baby and ruin their fun, she opted to finish it by hollowing her cheeks every time she withdrew. Spit slicked skin made the glide forward easy and quick, the retreat slow with suction and intent. Adrien babbled something frantic and unintelligible that she was sure was supposed to be a warning - but this wasn’t something she’d ever tried, and she wouldn’t know if she minded until she did it, so she didn’t pull off, instead speeding up until his head flung back, skull banging against the tile wall as he came against her tongue. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>If she was truly honest with herself she didn’t care much for the taste, nor the speed with which it flooded her mouth, but she reasoned that by the time she’d tasted it swallowing was no more difficult than spitting, and suspected he’d prefer the visual of her throat bobbing as she pulled off and swallowed. He probably would have if he’d been looking, but his eyes were closed and his head tilted up toward the ceiling, still save for the heavy shuddering of his chest and slumping of his shoulders. Carefully she slid his boxers back up to cover him and kneeled up a little to help ease him, boneless and breathless to sit on the floor. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>When he opened his eyes he blinked slowly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Holy fuck,” he whispered. “Did that... did that actually just happen?” Smiling, Marinette nodded. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“If by ‘that’ you mean your girlfriend blowing you in the kitchen then yes, it did.” She grinned, quite proud at the state of him, knowing she was responsible for that flushed visage, his dishevelled hair and the utterly enamoured look on his face.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>A shaky laugh, and he tugged her onto his lap, wrapping his arms around her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Thank you.” He murmured, laying his forehead against hers. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Not bad for a first timer, right? If you let me practice I might even get better.” She teased. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m sure that won’t be a problem.” He laughed, stealing a kiss and shivering as he realised just why she tasted so different, the sweet vanilla he’d come to associate with her kisses tinged with salt. Weird, but not necessarily bad. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Kettle probably needs boiling again. I need to go brush my teeth.” She wrinkled her nose and stood up, offering him a hand and pulling him to his feet. She checked on Madeleine as she passed through the living room, pleased to see her still sleeping soundly, with Plagg curled up resting at her feet, just out of sight under the blanket.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>When Marinette’s teeth were brushed and the unpleasant aftertaste scrubbed from her mouth (she definitely planned to explore other methods of finishing later, swallowing wasn’t awful but she wasn’t exactly desperate to do it again) she returned to Adrien who was curled up on the sofa watching over Madeleine, two mugs of coffee on the table in front of him. She sank down beside him, curling into his side and murmured. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I love you.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I love you too...” he whispered, startled by her movements. “Are we... cuddling after?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes. Don’t make a big deal of it.” She mumbled, hoping her nerves wouldn’t creep in. For the first time in months Marinette felt truly calm. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Wouldn’t dream of it.” He promised, kissing her temple. </p>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Suddenly, porn! </p><p>All I’ll say about the next chapter is that it involves a jewellery box...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Chapter 20</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Alternative chapter title: The one with all the jewellery</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I’m gonna just shut up and let you lovely people read</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div>
  <p>“You have to leave her eventually.” Sabine said gently, eyeing Marinette’s nervous expression. Armed with a duffel bag full of supplies for a short sojourn, she was starting to wish she’d never come. At a month old, Madeleine had barely left her sight, much less her care, and while she desperately needed a few hours off (she had claimed she needed a decent sleep, but in truth she needed her earrings back) she was terrified at the thought of leaving her tiny, defenceless baby unguarded. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nobody had heard from Gabriel since Christmas, and nobody had seen him since he vanished - it was entirely possible the Christmas card had just been a formality of contacting his son during the holidays. Still she felt uneasy, she should have opted to do this while Adrien wasn’t at school... but he’d positively encouraged her to leave Madeleine with her parents for a short while when he went to class and if he, someone prone to being overprotective, thought she was being over the top then... </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“They won’t leave her alone.” Adrien had promised. “And they know how to take care of a baby - they raised you just fine.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She knew she was being paranoid, that she couldn’t cling to the infant forever, but her eyes welled with unshed tears all the same. Plagg needed to come with her for the exchange (she’d already text Mister Bug using the communicators to arrange it) so he couldn’t stay behind as guard. She’d donned the ouroboros bracelet and stationed Sass at the bakery telling him not to be seen, but to alert her at the first sign of danger knowing a kwami on his own would be no match if Hawkmoth waltzed in. He was more of an alarm bell than an attack dog. But really... what were the odds Gabriel would just walk in? </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She’ll be fine, Marinette.” Tom promised her. “You go home, have a nap and maybe do some sewing or drawing, okay?” He soothed, cuddling his own little girl tightly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m just... nervous about it.” She murmured. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“All new mothers go through this.” Sabine reassured, reaching for the baby. Marinette supposed they did, but all new mothers didn’t have a supervillain breathing down their neck, possibly trying to recruit or manipulate their boyfriend... because that thought had occurred to her. That Gabriel’s card had been a ploy to convince him all was well. She offered a weak smile, kissed her baby’s soft dark hair and then forced herself to say goodbye. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Outside felt strange, stepping into a world that she’d not seen in nearly a year - a world without Madeleine attached to her. It looked pretty much the same, but felt so different: </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You okay?” Plagg asked softly. He liked Marinette, he always became fond of his holders but his brief time as Marinette’s kwami had shown him the other side of the coin of living with the little family. He could see why his kid and his partner loved her so much. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She’ll be fine.” Marinette whispered gently. “Right?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m sure she will.” Between Marinette having taken extra precautions, Adrien having taken extra precautions, and the fact they were only due to meet two streets away, Plagg was fairly confident in the little girl’s safety. “I’m gonna miss that kitten of yours, you know.” A blatant lie, Plagg still intended to see her at every opportunity. The baby was loud, true, but no louder than any other baby, and she seemed to settle well with a kwami cuddled up with her or a song from either parent. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I know. I’ll tell Cat Noir eventually, I promise... I just... right now it’s not safe.” She sighed miserably. Because this was going to be the first time seeing him since Madeleine had arrived and desperately, she wanted to tell him everything. But with a target on his back, she couldn’t. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah, yeah I’ll keep my mouth shut. Come on let’s go find him, I bet Tikki’s been dying to see you.” He reassured, knowing for a fact Tikki had been around the apartment, lamenting her inability to talk to her original chosen or spend much time with the newborn. As the goddess of creation, babies were pretty much Tikki’s favourite thing in the world, the ultimate creation. She was proud of Marinette and wanted so badly to tell her how well she’d done. Lurking was miserable. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“And you’ve been missing him.” Marinette prompted, veering down an alleyway, triple checking she was alone. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I wouldn’t go that far.” Plagg sniffed. What was to miss? He lived in Marinette’s purse now instead of Adrien’s shirt but he still saw him every day. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Plagg, claws out.” The wave of green light was comforting, coupled with the soft spring breeze, a sense of relief and freedom washing over her with the passing magic. She was outside. She was a hero once more. Click, flick, swish she navigated to a rooftop, bounding, leaping and unable to prevent the exhilarated WHOOP of joy as she traversed the rooftops. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The apartment she shared with Adrien had so easily become her home: but the skyline of Paris was her playground and the familiarity of it had been sorely missed. Practically twirling as she landed on the assigned rooftop beside an amused looking Mister Bug, she dismounted the baton gracefully. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hey kitty.” She grinned.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Isn’t that my line? Gotta say, you look good in leather, my lady.” He beamed, gesturing at her outfit. Dusting her claws off on her chest she smirked. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I look good in everything.” She insisted, delighting in his laugh. “It’s good to see you again.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>It was. She’d missed her friend... had he got taller?</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“The feeling’s mutual.” He promised. “Everything better at home?” He tilted his head, recalling the last time he’d seen her: how she’d confessed to such doubts she’d felt uncomfortable sharing with Adrien, who’d been blissfully unaware of how affected she’d been. He was half prepared for another gut punch, expecting her to reveal post natal depression or the urge to run away or something, but she smiled. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Improved, certainly. How was your trip?” Lady Noire asked, her tone soft and casual. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“My trip?” He raised an eyebrow. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You vanished for a while... figured you were enjoying a well earned break?” Mister Bug paused... she never asked about personal life stuff. This was progress, right? </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ah, just lazing around in sunbeams.” He reassured her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“How’s Tikki?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Pretty sure our sugar consumption has tripled with her in the house,” Mister Bug joked, twirling the yo yo. He hadn’t got out enough as Mister Bug to train heavily, but he was proficient enough with it to survive. He’d be grateful for his baton back. “But she’s good. She missed you.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Plagg missed you too, whatever he says.” Lady Noire insisted, nodding her head sideway at the overly large brick chimney. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Obediently, he crossed to one side of it, as she settled herself at the other. A gentle call of:</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Spots off”/“Claws in” and they dropped their transformations. Marinette sighed gently, nodding at Plagg and slipping the ring from her necklace. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ever realised how often we’ve been so close to learning who we are?” She wondered gently. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes.” Came his voice, his bare hand appearing around the side of the chimney, carefully settling her earrings in her palm and retrieving the ring. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“One day. One day it’s not going to be so hard for us to be friends, I promise.” She swore to him, affixing her earrings. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Tikki reappeared and Marinette grinned. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Do you have any idea how much I missed you, Tikki?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Half as much as I missed you!” Insisted the little red kwami, hugging her face - grateful she could finally talk to her again. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“How much trouble did you give Ladybug?” She heard the faceless man warn his kwami and tried not to laugh. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“About as much as I give you?” Plagg shrugged. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Not wanting to dawdle and risk being spotted, Marinette promised Tikki they could talk at home, and donned her spots once more. She kept her eyes closed, even when she heard Cat Noir change and sidestep the unnecessary brick outcrop of the chimney. Breathing slowly, Ladybug looked down at herself, eyes opening tentatively as she feared the damage. There was no sudden burst of panic: no obvious changes - just her old, trusty costume, wrapped tight around her as comforting as her dressing gown. She beamed and looked up at Cat Noir, who was staring fondly at her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He didn’t say a word, just smiled appreciatively. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Any changes while I was away?” She asked coolly, amazed she wasn’t panicking. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No update on Hawkmoth if that’s what you mean. Doesn’t seem to be in London, your kwami said you got a tip off that he’s in Paris again but...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m not sure he ever left.” She admitted. Ah. She had theories of her own... had that been why she was so content to let Alya and Nino venture off alone to London? She knew they wouldn’t be in danger? </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What makes you think that?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Adrien Agreste.” Came Ladybug’s simple response. Cat Noir blinked rapidly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You don’t... I mean... do you suspect him?” He whispered, shocked. There was the gut punch he’d anticipated alright, it still hurt. Ladybug immediately shook her head </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No. It’s the fact he didn’t suspect anything. He’s not an idiot - Hawkmoth was operating in the same house as him for years and didn’t notice? No... he had to have a hide out. Probably somewhere close by. An abandoned factory or something? I expect he and Nathalie are there.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>While her point was valid: and it was entirely possible his father had operated from a different location - it was also possible Adrien just hadn’t noticed. He saw him so infrequently that while he appreciated her belief that he would pick up on it, it wasn’t a certainty. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I mean... he <em>might</em> just have not noticed.” He said gently. “Our families never noticed us sneaking off to be super heroes. My fiancée has no clue I’m Cat Noir.” He added, trying not to smirk.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>If Ladybug herself could live with a superhero and not realise, then it was entirely possible he’d missed his father’s villainy. He only noticed his slip up when her face changed to one of alarm - eyes wide and mouth ajar. A lopsided smile said he hoped he could get away with it: he and Marinette hadn’t actually made it official yet, after all. She wouldn’t make the leap would she? </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re engaged?” She asked, startled.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes.” He admitted sheepishly. Should definitely have officially asked her first. Oops? </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re engaged!” She squawked, suddenly throwing herself into his arms, startling him. “Congratulations! Oh my god, are you insane you’ve been together less than a year! I’m so happy for you! When’s the wedding? Oh no, I won’t be able to come...” she babbled it all excitedly, until the last part where she realised she wouldn’t be able to attend: identity and all. Cat Noir laughed gently, amazed to have her in his arms once more.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes, I’m insane but when you know you know, so I don’t doubt asking her. We haven’t set a date yet and...” <em>and you’ll be the bride</em>. “And if we’ve not defeated Hawkmoth by then I’ll take a bunch of photos and blur our faces for you? Best I can do.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Suddenly realising she was hugging him she quickly let go of him, wrapping her arms around herself and nodding. Belatedly he noticed the expression on her face. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m genuinely excited for you.” She insisted, but he had already seen her sudden withdrawal. Jealousy? No... no she seemed nervous. She was still on edge around him as Cat Noir - he wasn’t Adrien right now, they couldn’t just cuddle without her expecting malice and violence. He was compromised, and she had no clue she probably was too. Cat Noir grimaced. No way to tell her that without her recoiling from Adrien too, and they were stronger together, surely? </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Thank you.” He said awkwardly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>For a long moment there was silence, the heaviness of the realisations weighing on both of them. The danger they were putting each other in just by being seen together. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I have somewhere I need to be.” She said gently, he could only nod uncomfortably. He’d see her at home later, but she didn’t have the luxury of spending time with Cat Noir... not knowingly anyway. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah, I should probably head back too. Hey... how’d things work out with your kitten?” He asked, voice a little strained. She was still afraid of him... </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ah, pretty much as expected. Turns out I love the little fuzzball. I was probably projecting or something. All good.” She gave a salute and then vanished without another hug or a fist bump or anything, leaving him squirming. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She’d overwhelmed herself with a simple hug. He’d thought they would be fine, she’d told Adrien she wasn’t scared of her attacker any more, after all... but she’d also told their daughter she still was. He supposed it wasn’t an issue she could simply overcome with willpower... his stomach twisted in knots as anxiety threatened to spill out. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p><em>Don’t bottle it up. You’re supposed to feel things.</em> He reminded himself, giving her a few minutes to return to the bakery before following - finding Lupino on a rooftop opposite where he’d been stationed at Adrien’s insistence. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Welcome back.” Lupino said, acknowledging Adrien’s change of outfit. “All’s fine.” He promised, he’d been ducked low and out of sight, keeping an eye on the place. “She got back a minute ago claiming she couldn’t go through with leaving her.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She’s still scared of Cat Noir.” Cat Noir said miserably. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well... can you blame her? I know it wasn’t your fault, dude, she knows that too but... I do get why you’ve not told her.” Lupino reassured. “Seriously, call the therapist.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Cat Noir sighed heavily, nodding. More and more he felt worse for lying to her, for keeping his identity a secret, for hiding the fact she was likely just as vulnerable as him... but how could he justify telling her when he suspected she’d flee? They were safer together, right? Or was he being selfish? Didn’t she have the right to know who she was building a life with? Who she was raising her daughter with? </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>How, Adrien wondered, if it wasn’t his fault, had he ended up being the bad guy? </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>—————— </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He was going to tell her.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He’d decided.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Plagg said he was insane. Tikki worried that Marinette wasn’t ready. But Adrien’s mind was made up... and then unmade when Marinette had practically jumped on him the moment he got home, and really how was he supposed to think clearly with her on her knees in front of him? Then when she was cuddled up in his arms it didn’t seem appropriate- given how nervewracking she already found the whole post coital cuddling thing. The moment didn’t seem right when she went for a sneaky bath either, or when she was feeding Madeleine. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The moment he came closest was when he woke at 3am to her tucking her breast back into her nightie and whispering the words to a very familiar song. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“... heaven sighs, and though I close my eyes, this is...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“La vie en rose...” he finished, eyes heavy with sleep. Marinette blinked down at him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Sorry, we didn’t mean to wake you.” She apologised softly.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“My mother used to sing that to me...” Adrien whispered, awestruck. Marinette hesitated, stroking the baby’s hair. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Seems to get her down after a feed. Is it a good memory or...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“The best.” Adrien murmured, heart aching. He remembered his mother playing it at the piano, teaching him to play. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>More and more he wanted that life, the one he’d had, once upon a time, for his daughter. And he couldn’t do that with such a big lie in the way. Swallowing hard he braced himself: he absolutely had to tell her. But Madeleine mewled in exhaustion, so instead of the truth, Adrien closed his eyes and listened to Marinette finishing the song. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>——</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>All in all by morning Adrien wondered whether he was making the right decision. Especially when he set his daughter gently in her basket as Marinette skipped gleefully off to make a coffee, worlds apart from the nervous Ladybug he’d seen the day before on the rooftop. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She was ecstatic to have Tikki back, but it didn’t quell her worry over Cat Noir. He was a walking target and she’d been so caught up in her own dramas she’d been unable to protect him: wasn’t that her job? He was her friend, and he was in more danger than anyone else in this city: Hawkmoth knew who he was... and if he was biding his time for an attack, his wedding day would be a prime target. So she had to figure out a way to protect that at least, maybe loan a guest the turtle... which would be tricky as she didn’t know where or when he was getting married. She was going to have to ask him for his identity... without giving hers away. It seemed unfair. Truthfully she didn’t know how to balance it all. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Cat Noir was getting <em>married</em>. She was completely okay with that, genuinely thrilled for him, so believed her motivations were purely platonic - she wasn’t concerned over lingering romantic feelings for him. She was a little worried that while her touch issues with everyone else seemed to have faded, that they hadn’t with him. Scared that he’d grab her in battle and she’d wind up punching him in panic, but mostly she was concerned that sneaking around, away from her baby and boyfriend, with the father of her child, might look... wrong. Adrien had already been so understanding about the whole thing. Would he understand that Cat Noir was her partner, and those feelings ran deep and confusing but didn’t mean her heart was unfaithful? That the urge to protect him on his wedding day was borne of protectiveness, of loyalty, and not of jealousy? </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>It wasn’t like she could tell Adrien she was Ladybug.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sure he was her boyfriend - they’d even discussed marriage but with him being Hawkmoth’s son it was just out of the question. She couldn’t tell Adrien she was Ladybug. She couldn’t tell Cat Noir he had a baby. Tired of being silenced, she listened to Adrien instead: hearing the distant whisper of him singing La Vie En Rose to Madeleine in their bedroom and smiled. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“He’s a keeper.” Marinette murmured to Tikki who giggled. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I should hope so!” Tikki seemed pleased to be back in Marinette’s care. Of course she couldn’t update her too much on Cat Noir, magic preventing her from anything that could reveal his identity: but she confirmed that he was happy, as safe as he could be, and generally well.  She flit off when she heard the tell tale sounds of Adrien’s footsteps approaching.  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh is she alone?” Marinette worried. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She’s only in the bedroom, Mari, and I left the door open, we’ll be within the same breathing space if we stay in the living room.” He reassured her, picking up the mugs of coffee and carrying them through. She felt a little nervous, largely because whenever she left the baby unattended she had made sure Plagg was close by and hadn’t had a chance to have the same conversation with Tikki yet, but Adrien had a point - they were no further from her than they usually would be if they were in the same room, and the door was open... and he had left Plagg in there with her, not that she knew that. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She swallowed her rising anxiety (<em>Madeleine is fine</em>, <em>she’s only a few feet away</em> she promised herself) and looked at Adrien. He seemed on edge. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What’s wrong?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“N-nothing.” He said quickly, losing his momentary surge of confidence. <em>Just tell her. Just say it. </em>“Uhm I... I wanted to talk about...” <em>the fact I’m Cat Noir and I know I’m the one who attacked you and got you pregnant but, hey, surprise, I love you - so we’re cool right? Nope</em>. “Registering her birth.” <em>Coward</em>. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I... if it’s okay... I’d like to be listed as her father on the birth certificate.” He avoided her gaze, cursing his own inability to speak. “It... it would look weird if I wasn’t. And legally I... I don’t want to think about us splitting up but...” <em>but you’re definitely going to leave me</em> “if we ever did I...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Adrien.” Marinette said gently, reaching forward and touching his arm. “I’m not going anywhere... but do you honestly think I’d take her away from you?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well... no but... is... is it weird that I want it in writing?” He worried he was pushing and knew it was insane: a few words on a piece of paper that didn’t make the slightest bit of difference, really. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>What he wanted she couldn’t give him: reassurance that she wouldn’t run again, when the truth came out. He couldn’t blame her if she did. Shame burned in his throat as he thought about everything she’d endured the last year. <em>Because I couldn’t fight off a fucking butterfly, she was raped, tormented, and left pregnant with no clue who her baby’s father was</em>. He began to tremble. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Adrien,” she said softly, settling her head on his shoulder. “You’ve told me, dozens of times, that as far as you’re concerned: she’s yours. Well... as far as <em>I’m</em> concerned she has two fathers and you are no less important in that equation. When this whole mess works itself out we’ll figure out how to make it work with three of us. Well... four of us, he’s getting married apparently, so we’ll have to sort something out with her too, I hope she’s the understanding type... but yes. You’re absolutely allowed to be on the birth certifi...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>A loud CRASH issued from the bedroom and they were both lightning quick on their feet, darting into the room to find Madeleine screaming in her basket, a smashed mirror glittering on the floor. Marinette thought the most chilling thing she had ever seen was the mask appearing over Cat Noir’s face on that rooftop, but it had nothing compared to the level of terror struck into her heart upon seeing an open window. She had drilled it into Adrien over and over about the temperature of the room, and knew from the horrified look on his suddenly pale face that he hadn’t left it wide open like that. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien got to her first: picking Madeleine up and holding her closely to his chest as he checked her over. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Did you leave the window open?” Marinette whispered, inspecting it with her heart racing - she knew the answer, but needed to have it confirmed. Adrien said nothing, shaking his head and clutching the distressed baby. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Shh. Shh it’s okay.” He soothed her, staring mollified at the shattered mirror. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette had told Plagg to break something if Hawkmoth showed up but hadn’t asked Tikki to. She could only think the worst though, her eyes closing and her fists clenching. Why now? </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Is she okay?” She asked, barely able to breathe. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes. I think the mirror breaking must have startled her.” Adrien glanced at the broken glass, stroking her head. She’d been far enough away from it that she was thankfully completely unharmed, just alarmed by the sudden loud noise. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Unwilling to tell him what she suspected, Marinette shivered as she closed the window. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Catch must have broken. The breeze probably caught the mirror.” She croaked. Adrien felt sick - he knew what she had to think, it was the exact same thing he thought, and would confirm with Plagg (who had likely broken the mirror in warning) as soon as he could, and she was burying it all over again: taking on the world on her own because she felt she had to.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He couldn’t keep letting her believe she was on her own. He had to tell her the truth. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>——————————— </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I can’t sleep, Tikki. He’s been in my house!” Marinette hissed. Tikki had actually been in the kitchen when the incident occurred but had conversed with Plagg, and replaced him in the story she relayed for Marinette. She told Marinette that she’d been the one to fall asleep beside Madeleine, regulating her breathing, that she’d been the kwami who had raised the alarm when she woke to find Hawkmoth looming over her basket. She hadn’t: it had been Plagg. Both kwamis had agreed amongst themselves to take it in shifts so the three humans were watched over. Not that Marinette knew that. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’ll stay up all night and watch out for him, I promise.” Tikki swore. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Thank you but I can’t... Was he just visiting his granddaughter or... is this an attack on me?” She whispered. Tikki didn’t know. She hadn’t seen whatever reason Hawkmoth had for stalking the child. She was as clueless as Marinette in that respect. She did know it likely meant Hawkmoth was watching the apartment and had seized the moment she’d be alone. One hell of a coincidence if he wasn’t. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It has to be me. He’s not shown any interest in Adrien so far. It’s the timing of her birth, or... or maybe he was watching me after I left Cat Noir yesterday? He’s figured me out. I’m... compromised.” Marinette whispered, shaking her head sadly in conclusion. She’d brought this to their doorstep. It was her fault. “I can’t just sit at home waiting to be attacked any more... it’s time to end this.” She refused to cry, instead focusing on a plan. She needed a plan to keep her family safe, luckily she had several ready. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien returned to the bedroom with a cup of coffee for her. Having cleaned up the broken glass it was all he could do to be beside her. She drank it slowly and peered at her little girl, sleeping soundly. Marinette worried her lip so hard she could taste blood. They were in danger and she had a choice to make. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Mind if I just go fix a hemline? I won’t be long, I can’t sleep... work helps.” She whispered. Adrien reluctantly nodded, worrying what she was up to.  He wondered if he should transform in case she tried to call Cat Noir, but if she returned to find Cat Noir in her bedroom she’d likely have a heart attack so he decided against it and waited with his daughter. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette padded into the craft room, pulling the miracle box from its securely locked drawer. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Briefly she entertained the thought of plan one: transforming, calling Cat Noir and confessing everything. Of dragging him in to help her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Somehow it didn’t sit right with her to involve him now of all moments. She should have either brought him in to the loop ages ago, or should leave it until things were safer. He didn’t deserve being her last resort. There’d be yelling, panic, trauma... nope. Not an option for now. She couldn’t beg him for help when she’d abandoned him when he had Hawkmoth breathing down his neck. She couldn’t dump all the drama she’d avoided for his safety and then drag him into it without concern for his or his fiancée’s safety: she’d wait until she had answers to bring him in on it. Which left plan two or three. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Plan two was a sealed envelope (one of several actually) hidden in the base of her sewing machine addressed to Adrien and not to be opened unless she disappeared or died. She could run. She could disappear with Madeleine and leave him safe. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>But he’d be devastated. He loved her. He loved Madeleine. He’d begged her, only a few short hours ago, not to take her away from him. She couldn’t do that to him. She was done running. That envelope was only going to see the light of day if she died. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Option three then. She set the turtle bracelet in its box and nodded. Protection. That’s what they needed now, more than ever. Locking the box away again, she returned to the bedroom to find Adrien watching Madeleine sleep, wary of danger. She couldn’t help but smile. He adored her. He’d support her through this. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Adrien?” She said gently, alerting him to the fact she was back in the room. He jolted and looked up at her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“That was fast. Short hemline?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Adrien Agreste...” she smiled sadly as she announced his name, presenting the box with her shoulders straight and chin raised. Adrien’s eyes widened. “This is the miraculous of the turtle. It grants the power of protection. You will use it to help me keep our family safe. You do not have to return it to me.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien froze, because technically he had an out. Play dumb, wear Wayzz, protect the house. But... she’d just <em>told</em> him she was Ladybug. If ever there had been a right moment to tell the truth this was it. He’d been trying all day but suddenly his mouth was dry. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m... I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I thought you were safer not knowing.” Marinette apologised, shaking a little with nerves. “But now you’re safer knowing the truth: that Hawkmoth was in our apartment today. There was a reason he came after me that night, and I’m the reason Hawkmoth’s targeting her...”</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re not.” He croaked. “You’re not the reason...”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m Ladybug, Adrien.” She said gently, as though he hadn’t understood. “I’m... I'm sorry. I didn’t want to drag you into this but...” She swallowed. Adrien stood slowly, bending to kiss his daughter on the forehead, she didn’t stir from her sleep and he hoped it wouldn’t be the last time he got to do that. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Straightening his spine he whispered</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You should sit down.” Marinette frowned, confused. “Please?” He begged. Marinette found a place on the bed, staring up at him. Adrien licked his bottom lip and took several deep breaths. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Thank you for telling me.” He whispered. “That... that you trust me with this is... it’s huge.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’ve never told anybody before.” Marinette said softly, her smile genuine. She’d considered a time in her life where she’d tell Cat Noir who she was, debated situations where telling Tygress and Lupino would become necessity, even longed for a world post-Hawkmoth where she could share her secret with her parents. She’d never dreamed she’d be in a position to share it with a romantic partner. It was a testament to how much she trusted him, and he seemed to understand the severity of it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“The thing is... I... I already knew.” He admitted. Marinette paused, before her brow knitted in concern. Transforming into Lady Noire after Madeleine’s birth was the forefront of her mind: wondering if he’d seen the heroine cradling her baby or the baton dent she’d accidentally left on the bathroom ceiling. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You already knew? How?” She asked. Adrien couldn’t breathe. He closed his eyes tightly, fists clenched. She was going to be furious.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Please don’t leave me.” He begged. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What? I’m not leaving you because I slipped up somewhere. Unless...” Her mind suddenly went to dark places.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Why was he begging for forgiveness? Adrien couldn’t still be in contact with his father could he? Eyes wide she stood up, edging around him, toward the basket a little as though instinctively trying to protect Madeleine. Adrien winced, realising she was afraid. She was looking at him the same way she’d stared at Cat Noir in those early days. He’d done it. He’d lost her. No going back now. She’d never trust him again.  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m so sorry.” He breathed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What did you do?” She whispered, devastated thinking he might have had something to do with Hawkmoth’s return. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I... I figured it out after your story about that night. And I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry. I swear I never meant to hurt you, my lady.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“My... my lady...” she repeated, dazed. He nodded. “Cat Noir?!” Adrien nodded again, his head heavy as lead. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
<p></p><div><p>Marinette’s head span and her knees felt suddenly weak. Adrien was Cat Noir? Adrien was Cat Noir! Cat Noir already knew she was Ladybug?! Adrien knew he was Madeleine’s father? What the hell was happening? The ground felt unstable beneath her feet, and she leaned uneasily against the wall, trembling with the shock. </p></div><div><p>“You knew?!” Marinette squeaked. Because if he’d figured it out after her story then he had known for months. He nodded slowly. </p></div><div><p>“Please, don’t leave.” Adrien begged. “Please, I know I should have told you, I wanted to but you couldn’t even look at me in the costume and I was scared I’d do more damage with the truth and we were already together! The public already knew so Hawkmoth did too and I thought we’d be safer together and if I broke up with you he’d already know but you’d be on your own and then you were <em>pregnant</em> and the press already knew I didn’t want you to be on your own and unable to transform and...” he babbled rapidly, aware he was repeating himself in trying to justify his silence. </p></div><div><p>“Shut up.” Marinette mumbled, holding her hand up and bowing her head to hide her nose scrunch. “No, I didn’t mean that... Just... please, just stop talking a minute... I need...” she needed quiet. She needed to think. </p></div><div><p>The guilt regarding not telling Cat Noir what had happened dissipated: she’d already told him. Her fears regarding Cat Noir’s safety dissolved: they’d been together the whole time and while he was still clearly a target, he’d remained unharmed. She hadn’t abandoned him.</p></div><div><p>Her worries regarding her identity being possibly discovered were heightened: if Hawkmoth had been watching Adrien, and knew he was Cat Noir... well... her cat was out of the bag. Watching Cat Noir’s apartment would have given her away several times over. The baby was a huge clue. He knew. At least there was no uncertainty: she knew the level of danger. </p></div><div><p>She realised with a jolt that she’d been the other woman, the one Cat Noir had fallen for. Adrien had told her as much. Just as he’d been the boy she’d turned him down for all those years ago. She hadn’t played home wrecker. She hadn’t ruined his life, the news wouldn’t destroy his shot at happiness with someone else. </p></div><div><p>The event itself even seemed ever so slightly less horrifying in that context: she hadn’t caused it by feeling the wrong thing for the wrong boy, hadn’t tricked him, emotions had been confused and misplaced, but still very much there. He’d loved her after all, his own feelings used against them too. He’d been violated, true, so had she, but the responsibility suddenly didn’t feel like her own. Able to finally place the blame solely on Hawkmoth she nearly cried. It wasn’t her fault. </p></div><div><p>The sheer number of years they’d spent together, side by side all seemed to hit her at once, oddly reassuring despite the shock. </p></div><div><p>Adrien wasn’t some helpless romantic who’d sacrificed everything because he’d fallen in love with her at the wrong moment, and she wasn’t dragging him in to a situation where she was taking advantage of his kindness. He wasn’t love dazed, saddled with her brokenness and raising another man’s child. She didn’t need to worry quite so much: not only was he capable of defending himself, he’d been defending her too, protecting their family. Keeping them together.</p></div><div><p>Burying his own pain and trauma to shield them. Tears sprang to her eyes, realising how much he’d been keeping to himself to try protect them. From his own father no less.</p></div><div><p>She had no reason to question his allegiances. Hawkmoth had hurt Cat Noir more than anybody. He was on her side, without a shadow of a doubt. Because while she believed Adrien loved her, she had (in the moment he wanted to confess), feared that he could be manipulated by his relationship with his father... she knew now that he couldn’t. That Cat Noir would never stand by his side of his own volition. The tears came thick and fast, flowing down her cheeks faster than she could think. </p></div><div><p>Adrien was frozen in place, still standing beside Madeleine’s basket awaiting his fate. Of all the reactions he’d expected: a prolonged silence wasn’t one of them. Almost preferring if she’d shout or scream or throw things, at least then he’d be able to tell what was running through her mind. Without her words, and with her head hung low as she thought, Adrien was completely in the dark. </p></div></div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Tikki, Plagg...” Marinette called out into the room when she was able to locate her words. Unsurprised at being called out, they both emerged unashamed from their hiding spot on a book shelf. “One of you in the sewing room, one of you in the living room, watch the windows. First sign of trouble, come get us.” She instructed, wiping her eyes. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Got it, pigtails.” Plagg promised, zipping off. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“On it... are you okay?” Tikki questioned. Marinette nodded curtly and the kwami paused, before deciding they needed time alone and leaving as ordered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette looked at him taking in his condition: with his back straight, breathing shallow and laboured, expression hopelessly lost. Her partner - in so many senses of the word - was afraid, he was awaiting reprimand. And she couldn’t have that. With two steps she crossed the room and flung herself into his arms, kissing him fiercely. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Of all the responses Adrien had expected: Marinette kissing him had been even lower on the list. He staggered backward, falling onto the bed with her in his arms. Marinette broke the kiss only to glance back over her shoulder, ensuring Madeleine’s basket was still secure, before returning her lips to Adrien’s. Adrien had no clue what was happening, even less so when she straddled him without breaking the kiss. Bewildered he went with it, clinging to her the same way as she did to him, until he felt wetness on his cheek and realised she was crying. Carefully he cupped her face and eased her away, trying to read her expression. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She was smiling. And crying. She didn’t look angry. Adrien had never been more confused. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m not scared of you.” She swore, meaning every word. That in itself was a relief and Adrien’s shoulders sagged. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Good. That’s... that’s good.” She didn’t go to kiss him again, but remained atop him, instead burying her face in the crook of his neck. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m sorry.” She whispered. “I’m so sorry.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You have nothing to be sorry for.” He insisted, rubbing her back. “Marinette I... I should have told you...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No. No, I get why... I’d have... I wasn’t dealing with it very well and...” she babbled. If he’d told her at the start what would she have done? </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Cried, probably. Tried to make it work the way she had with Cat Noir at first and would likely have watched it fall apart all over again. He’d lied to protect her, as she had with him. Not okay... but justifiable, and it had worked hadn’t it? She was already close enough to Adrien that she didn’t need to worry about being afraid of him, right? The lies and the secrets had paid off, for once, and Marinette was in no mood to look a gift horse in the mouth. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>They lapsed into silence, wrapped up in each other until their heart beats slowed and the adrenaline rush wore off. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re not mad at me?” Adrien asked eventually. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No. No, I’m happy.” Marinette mumbled, raising her head and taking a deep breath. “I love you.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Still?” He didn’t sound convinced. She smiled weakly and nodded. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Still. It wasn’t your fault.” She reassured him, placing her hand over his heart. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It wasn’t yours either.” His tone was firm, insistent. Marinette nodded. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I... I know that. I mean. I think I always knew that but...it’s... hearing it from you...” it was like a reprieve, a pardon. He didn’t blame her for jumping him the moment she got the chance. Wasn’t judging her. Didn’t feel she’d been the one to violate him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh my god, you’re you.” She whispered, bursting into tears again, unable to put her relief into words. Adrien couldn’t quite grasp how she was feeling, but the weight of the tangled web of lies no longer holding him down was freeing, and he cuddled her as she calmed down, rolling them onto their sides. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Occasionally she placed a soft kiss against his collarbone and he dropped one in her hair. Both of them dwelled on the reality of life without the hindrance of their secret identities. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’d be more excited about this whole reveal thing going well if it hadn’t come about under these circumstances.” He admitted. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh fuck, yeah... Hawkmoth.” Marinette muttered, brain train returning to its track from its temporary screeching stall at the station of ADRIEN IS CAT NOIR AND HE KNOWS EVERYTHING ALREADY she’d momentarily forgotten the whole Hawkmoth breaking in to their apartment thing. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Why’d he come after her?” Marinette whispered. Adrien took a deep breath. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Not entirely sure. Plagg said it was definitely him...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Plagg? Tikki said it was her on watch...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You weren’t the only one taking extra measures.” Adrien pointed out. Pausing, Marinette smiled. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“To protect <em>our</em> daughter. Adrien... she’s yours.” She breathed in awe, letting that fact sink in before giggling. “My mother and I were both right about her nose!” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The ridiculousness of it finally hit her, and her giggles became riotous. Adrien joining in with her mirth, grinning as she covered her mouth in a futile attempt to try silence her laughter. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette knew she shouldn’t be laughing. A supervillain knew their identities, had broken into their home, been within three feet of their daughter. They were in grave danger. And yet... they were together. Despite everything. They’d found their way back to each other - had never really been apart. The universe had clearly been playing the long game. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Clearing her throat she stood up, nodding firmly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Right then, Chaton. We have work to do.” She announced, chin raised. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Us against the world, my lady.” Adrien grinned. “What do you need?” He offered, standing and bowing dramatically. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You, my phone, and my breastfeeding pillow. The kitten’s due a feed before we do anything else.” She smirked. Adrien didn’t straighten up, hair falling in front of his eyes, making him look all the more like Cat Noir. Marinette laughed, wondering how she’d never noticed that - in all the months she’d been enamoured by his bed head she’d never picked up on it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I chose Marinette because she was the... the more complete version of you.” He said, tone completely serious. Still bowed low, he appeared to lose his arm for a moment, digging under the bed. “Not because I fell out of love with you. I just got to know you better. Ladybug and Marinette. Seeing the whole picture, I love all of you, even more so.” He told her. Marinette pouted her bottom lip, reaching down to stroke his hair gently. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I know. I love you too.” She promised. “Adrien Agreste. Cat Noir. Hawkmoth’s son. All of you.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m trying to do a thing here, Bug.” He laughed, turning his bow into a full on crouch, and retrieving his arm from under the bed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“There we go. Anyway.” He continued, unabashed by the awkward pause. “You’re the strongest, smartest woman I know. In or out of that suit. No more secrets. No more lying to protect each other. My lady... my Princess... we deserve a happy ending.” She should have seen it coming, but when he produced a small black box of his own and flicked it open to reveal a silver coloured ring with pink and white stones, she was still startled. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Will you marry me?” Marinette tried to react like a normal person, she did. She wanted to cry tears of joy and say yes, or to jump around and squeak in excitement. Instead she burst into uncontrollable giggles all over again.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Now?!” She cackled. “You’ve waited weeks to do this and <em>now</em> is the right moment?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’ve waited my whole life to do this.” He smiled, completely unphased by her response. “And now is <em>exactly</em> the right moment.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re impossible! You already know my an...” she began, but was cut off by a disgruntled </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“WAAAAAH!” From the basket behind her, only adding further fuel to her giggle fit. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She has your sense of timing!” Marinette chuckled, turning to the hungry baby and picking her up. “It’s a yes.” She added to the man still on one knee, in case there was any doubt. Adrien grinned: the broad toothy smile he so often gave her as Marinette, the one she realised now was so fitting for Cat Noir. She cradled Madeleine to her chest with her right arm, extending the other so Adrien could slip the ring onto her finger. A perfect fit. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Leaping into action (his Lady had given him an order after all) Adrien fetched the u-shaped pillow while she made herself comfortable on the bed to feed Madeleine who only stopped squawking when her mouth was full. Adrien watched her in awe, face soft, unable to believe this was actually his life. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’ve already been checking out a list of abandoned properties within a mile of the mansion.” Marinette told him, stroking her daughter’s hair gently as she adopted her business like Ladybug tone. “Haven’t finished it yet, seemed every time I settled down to research she needed a feed or a change. We’ll be able to co-ordinate search parties with Tygress and Lupino but only one of us can go at a time because...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ooh! Okay before I forget. On the subject of no more secrets... Nino and Alya know everything.” He winced. Probably should have mentioned that earlier. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Everything?” She asked, raising an eyebrow. Adrien laughed nervously. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Everything.” He admitted, still half expecting an explosion. She only sighed, shuffled over a couple of inches and nodded to the space beside her on their bed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Okay.” Marinette said decisively. “How’d that happen?” </p>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And then they lived happily ever after.<br/>Except we’ve still got a rogue butterfly to deal with...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Chapter 21</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The war of the roses</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Okay, so, when I was writing this chapter I messaged my best friend (shout out to fanficismything for being my sounding board) complaining because WHY IS ALL THIS PLOT GETTING IN THE WAY OF MY STORY?! Stupid plot. But it had to be done.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div>
  <p>Trying to hunt a supervillain, with a new baby, was difficult to say the least. A sleepless night brought a morning where their living room was a mess with print outs of building plans, paper trails of Gabriel’s pre-flight spendings, Alya and Nino at the computer doing research, Adrien changing Madeleine on the changing mat on the floor and Marinette trying to get answers out of Duusu... which was not going well, with the kwami throwing things rather than being helpful. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Look, we’re trying to help Nooroo...” Marinette said, practically pulling her hair out and dodging a packet of baby wipes being tossed at her. If Madeleine would just <em>stop crying</em> for two minutes and let her concentrate. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“And we’ll be able to find Nathalie.” Tikki pointed out. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“<b>WAAAAAAA</b>!” Screeched Madeleine. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“And put her in prison! No! I won’t tell on mistress!” Duusu huffed indignantly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“<b>AWAAAEEE</b>!” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She renounced you. She’s no longer your mistress - I am and I need your help. Anything that you can tell us about where they used to operate from...” Marinette prompted, rubbing her temples.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“<b>AAAAAAAAWAAAA</b>.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Baby girl, please...” she pleaded, turning and taking the screaming infant from Adrien as he went to dispose of the dirty nappy. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>It wasn’t like Madeleine to be so disgruntled. Why she’d picked today of all day to scream her lungs out was beyond Marinette. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Colic maybe? The twins were awful for it...” Alya said, with her hands over her ears as she read the internet page on an apartment block that had breached health code violations, but was deemed too expensive to demolish so had been left standing: in limbo. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t know.” Marinette sighed heavily, rubbing her daughter’s back. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She’s probably just picking up on the stressful environment.” Adrien said, returning with freshly washed hands. Marinette glowered at him. She didn’t need child psychology right now. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well maybe I’d be less stressed if we weren’t being stalked by a supervillain.” She snapped, then immediately winced at his wounded expression, knowing taking it out on Adrien wasn’t helpful either. “Sorry, I’m sorry. I am. This is just... it’s <em>harder</em> than I remember it being, okay?” Wasn’t planning supposed to be her forte? </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“There’s four of us now.” Alya said gently. “We got this.” She reassured. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>They’d been amazing. Hadn’t asked any questions, just shown up in the middle of the night when called and set straight to work as though it had always been an open arrangement. Marinette thought it must be killing Alya to not probe, to not demand answers... but she typed away all the same, heroine over reporter. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>But despite her reassurances, hours later they were no closer to their goal. Duusu had been shut back in the box, with no information gleaned. Tikki, Plagg, Barkk and Roaar were huddled in a group on the table whispering together to come up with a plan for how to handle Duusu. The heroes narrowed down their list considerably, reasoning that if Gabriel and Nathalie were using it as a permanent base of operation they needed somewhere with electricity and plumbing which ruled out several places. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“At least the kitten tired herself out.” Nino smiled, looking up from his list of likely places to peer at the now silent infant, fast asleep in his girlfriend’s arms. “Suits you, Alya.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Don’t even think about it.” Alya chided. “I’m happy with this one because I can give her back when she gets stinky or loud, I do <em>not</em> want one of my own.” She insisted. Marinette set down her empty coffee cup. How many was that now? Four or five? She couldn’t remember.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Okay, so we go on proximity, for lack of any better way to narrow it down.” She decided, circling the top three. “One of us has to stay with Madeleine...” she looked up at Adrien, and for a long moment there was silence as a debate happened without words. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Neither parent wanted to send the other out into potential danger. Neither wanted to leave her with someone else. Neither wanted to stay home with the baby when there was a chance their home would be targeted first and that they’d have to fight with her in the room. Neither wanted to run away with her to safety while the other was risking their life in Paris. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“If you give me back Wayzz I can shelter her while you guys go?” Nino offered. Marinette swallowed, clearly nervous. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s... I don’t want...” she began, squirming. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We’re a little nervous that she might be his prime target.” Adrien said softly. “She’s the best way to take both of us down at once.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“But he can’t get through the shield easily. Even with that giant sentimoth thing you said it took a while, and you won’t be far away... so I can call you if he shows up?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It does make more sense to have you both go.” Alya agreed. Marinette knew it did. They fought well together, they were a duo... still, the thought of leaving her - even with someone she trusted with her life, didn’t sit quite right with her. It was the obvious thing to do and thus felt too much like walking into a trap. He’d tricked her before... doubting her own judgement, Marinette bowed her head and tried to think.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Marinette... you chose Wayzz for me the first time for a reason. This kid... she’s half you and half Adrien. I’d defend her to the death, and that urge to protect is way stronger than any negative emotion I could summon up.” Nino swore. He stood up, crossing to her. “Ladybug,” she knew that he knew, but hearing it out loud felt so surreal. “Let me help? Please.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“If he’s going Carapace I’d like Trixx back. Roaar’s awesome...” she smiled at the tiger kwami, offering a gentle scritch to the god’s chin, “but the disguises I can bring as Rena would help us sneak around.” Alya said decisively. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“But he knows who you are.” Marinette said, shaking her head. The disguises would be handy, an adult Fox holder could make illusions solid, and that could be vital... maybe she could go Foxbug and hide them...</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Then it’s a level playing field, isn’t it?” Nino pointed out. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No, it isn’t because we’re not villains! We can’t use the people he loves against him!” If they went in as Rena and Carapace, the list of potential casualties included their parents and siblings too.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“He doesn’t love anybody.” Adrien pointed out. Marinette winced. “Except my mother...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The elephant in the room. Marinette winced: She’d come to the same conclusion. Hawkmoth’s motive. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“That’s why he’s doing this? To... bring her back?” Alya asked gently. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t have any proof but... I’d assume so.” Adrien sighed. “He mentioned being with her in his goodbye note and that was... weird. And he’s clearly not offer himself if he’s still threatening us. Which... makes me wonder if she isn’t dead but maybe... I don’t know... under a spell or gone mad or something? That his plan was to try to fix her?” He said slowly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“By terrorising Paris?” Alya said skeptically. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I didn’t say it was a <em>good</em> plan.” Adrien muttered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re aware that... that working with us... means you’re... you’re actively working against bringing your mother back?” Marinette asked softly. She wasn’t even sure how to ask such a task of him, it didn’t seem fair but Adrien nodded all the same. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m aware.” He mumbled. “With you all the way, Marinette.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Without knowing what condition she’s in I can’t make you any promises but I will try to br...” Marinette began but abandoned her sentence as the apartment descended into sudden darkness. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Tikki, spots on!” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Plagg, claws out!” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Barkk, speak!” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Roaar, stripes on!”</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Four flashes of light accompanied the words as all four heroes readied for action, taking the sudden loss of electricity as an attack. Ladybug instinctively moved toward Tygress, taking Madeleine from her arms. Lupino was the first to move, prowling across the darkened room to the window, twitching the curtain open carefully.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Whole street’s out. Might just be a power cut...” he told them. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Shh.” Ladybug whispered. She closed her eyes tight and listened for footfall, the tap of a cane or the swish of a cloak. She couldn’t hear anything like that, but she could hear a persistent humming that unnerved her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What’s the buzzing noise?” She whispered, reminded of Miracle Queen’s wasps... had Hawkmoth got to Chloé? Cat Noir tilted his head a little, and she tried not to balk at seeing him transformed moments from where she’d last seen Adrien. Knowing and seeing were two different things. Cat Noir was in her home... why did that make her heart race? He was her fiancé. She loved him. She couldn’t afford to panic right now. <em>Put a lid on it, Ladybug</em> she scolded herself. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Quietly, Cat Noir moved toward the noise, before shaking his head in dismissal. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Mr Rawlins next door, he’s diabetic. He’s got a mini generator that keeps his fridge running so his insulin stays cold if there’s a power cut, it’s against that wall.” He explained, having seen it when he’d helped the old man home once. A fridge wasn’t a supervillain, so he was counting that as a win. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well, we’re not under attack...” Tygress murmured, relaxing her shoulders a little. “Clearly we’re all paranoid.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ladybug, however, had paled. She followed Cat Noir to the wall, pressing her ear against it.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Son of a...” she whispered, the bottom seeming to fall out of her stomach. “I know,” she breathed “I know where Hawkmoth is.” Angry, frustrated, she handed Madeleine to Cat Noir and the moment her hands were free she punched the counter, hard enough to crack it. “Stupid stupid stupid.” She hissed, jaw clenched. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re the smartest person I know. Whatever you just figured out...” Cat Noir insisted, cradling the sleeping infant, who had jolted at the sound but hadn’t quite woken.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I didn’t <em>just</em> figure it out! I figured it out that night! I just... ugh...” she pinched her nose. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t... I wasn’t thinking clearly...” she looked at him in apology. “He’s at the mansion. He never left. That night... you cut the power but when we got to his office you heard a buzzing...” Ladybug reminded him. Cat Noir only vaguely remembered it, having written it off at the time. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“But if it had been a back up generator we’d have still had power... we didn’t.” Cat Noir said confused.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Not if it wasn’t a back up generator for the house, but for something out of sight... so <em>below</em> it. Or above it. Or... like a side passageway or something...” Ladybug whispered, cursing herself for missing it the first time. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Okay, so, Gabriel’s totally the sort of supervillain to have a secret passageway behind a bookshelf or a wall sconce.” Lupino agreed with the theory. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“A rotating fireplace, for the aesthetic.” Tygress sighed, rolling her eyes. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Homeward bound then.” Cat Noir muttered. “You’re not stupid for missing it that night, Bug.” He insisted. “You didn’t even hear it, I did.” He reminded her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ladybug took several deep breaths, as the lights flickered on. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“And we’re back...” Tygress flicked open her compact mirror and scanned the internet page she’d brought up. “Workers on Fountain Street accidentally disconnected the wrong supply, sorry for the inconvenience...” she read out loud, pleased they weren’t under attack. “That was lucky.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I didn’t... I didn’t retire just because I was scared of you.” Ladybug said softly, hoping only Cat Noir could hear her but the look Tygress and Lupino shared said they could too. Stupid super hearing. She ignored them and tried to focus on Cat Noir. “I... I can’t think straight. I... I wasn’t akumatised that night. I made the decisions and I screwed up all on my own. Now every time I make a decision I think... I can’t help but think this is what he <em>wants</em> me to do. It’s what he’s expecting me to do. Am... am I playing right into his hand by leading us there?” She breathed. Cat Noir paused. That made a lot of sense. She was, and had always been, a planner - a leader. Doubting her own judgement... he shook his head. Hawkmoth wasn’t allowed to take that from her too.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“He’s had months to make his move, and hasn’t. We need to end this stalemate by playing the game, and there’s nobody else I’d rather call the shots. We’re not going in blind this time. I <em>know</em> you, I <em>know</em> you have a plan and you have never steered us wrong before. So he won one round... we won all the others with you at the helm. I trust you. I trust your judgement, even if you’re scared.” He swore. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“And we’re here too. You’re not facing him alone.” Tygress chimed in. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Never again.” Lupino promised. Ladybug swallowed hard as a leather gloved hand landed on her shoulder - she knew that if his other hand hadn’t been cradling their daughter, he’d have held both of her shoulders. How many times had she been on the receiving end of one of these speeches? His pep talks never failed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“One last time, my lady.” Cat Noir smiled confidently. “Us against the world.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The magic words. Ladybug took a deep breath then rolled her shoulders, forced her fear down, straightened her spine and tipped her chin up, looking every bit the boss. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Then it’s agreed. We go kick his ass.” She smiled. Pulling away from him she moved to the miracle box. “Lupino, I’ll need Barkk back. How do we all feel about double wielding?” She asked, opening it and staring at the array of magical jewels in front of her, plan forming fully in her mind. Nino passed her back Barkk’s collar necklace. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Fine by me. Just one question... what’s double wielding?” Tygress asked, in agreement with the plan without knowing it.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Wearing two miraculous.” Cat Noir filled her in. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“More power seems good. Can’t we just wear the whole box?” Nino wondered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No. Believe me that is painful.” Ladybug informed them, plucking several carefully considered miraculous from their trays. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Wait, is that how you pulled off the Multimouse thing because I’ve been driving myself insane over trying to... not the time. Sorry.” Cat Noir apologised. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>With several jewels set aside, she closed the box and mumbled.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Wait here,” before vanishing off into their bedroom. Cat Noir rocked gently, Madeleine still content to sleep in his arms, leather and all. He wondered if he ought to have felt nervous, with such a fragile creature in his arms while wielding the power of destruction, but her face still instilled calm in him. Joy. She was something pure. The best thing to come out of all of this mess. No akumas could get him this time, not if he held on to the memory of her nuzzled peacefully into his chest like this.  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ladybug returned an age later with a duffel bag, but marched straight on through the living room with it and into the craft room. Tygress raised an eyebrow, but the men at her side shrugged: opting to wait and see. Ladybug reappeared and headed straight to the freezer, pulling out several bottles of expressed breast milk and Cat Noir figured it out. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Bag fully packed, Ladybug handed it to Nino. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Nino Lahiffe.” She announced. “This is the most important job I have EVER delegated. These are the miraculous of the turtle, and the horse.” She whispered, passing him the bracelet and the glasses. “You will use them to keep Madeleine Dupain-Cheng, Tom Dupain, and Sabine Cheng safe at a location of your choice. Anywhere in the world. Two rules: not Paris and don’t tell us where... we can’t tell Hawkmoth if we don’t know. We’ll contact you when we can... and if we can’t...” Ladybug closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. “There’s a letter in there for my parents. Only... only give it to them if we don’t come home.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What about a letter for Madeleine?” Cat Noir asked gently. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I thought about it.” Ladybug whispered. “But I know my parents will tell her anything she needs to know, when she’s ready. If you want to write one, do it now.” She instructed. Cat Noir didn’t know what he could possibly say in a letter, so just swallowed, nodding. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Okay... but how do I tell them I’m just... kidnapping them.” Nino wondered, fixing the charms into place. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I recorded a video to show them, when I was setting up the bag...” Ladybug explained. “You’re under special orders from Ladybug and you know nothing. Deny everything until you can’t any more then... if you absolutely have to... the truth. We’re Ladybug and Cat Noir and it’s time to face Hawkmoth once and for all... Time to say goodbye.” She told her fiancé. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Hesitantly, Cat Noir kissed Madeleine’s fluffy hair, stroking her cheek sadly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We’ll come back.” He swore. It took everything he had to hand her over to Ladybug, who peered down at the sleeping infant sadly. She couldn’t make such bold promises, knowing what the day could have in store for them. They were fighting him directly and he had nothing left to lose. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Knowing they might die was sobering. So instead of promises, she kissed their daughter’s forehead and whispered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Maman and papa love you. You be good for uncle Nino.” She ignored the tears as she passed her baby carefully over, ensuring she’d remain asleep. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Get the milk in the freezer as soon as possible. If she fusses try singing La Vie En Rose, or giving her to my dad, he always knows what to do.” She said in her business like tone. “The horse’s name is Kaalki, to activate her it’s full gallop, and to use your power it’s voyage. You can merge with Wayzz when you get where you’re going, and he’ll explain how.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Right, gotchya...” Nino turned to Tygress. “You... you better come back.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re stuck with me, horse boy.” She snorted, but hugged him all the same. If Ladybug and Cat Noir noticed he held her a moment longer than he normally would, and that Tygress’ eyes were damp when they separated, they chose not to comment on it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Kaalki, full gallop!” Nobody shielded their eyes against the bright flash of light, they watched as Nino transformed with a new miraculous. His outfit was a deep, chestnut brown coloured leather, the vaguest hint of red in both his outfit and mane. Tygress purred. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Damn, okay I like that better than all the fur.” She admitted. “We allowed to keep these after or...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Alya!” Ladybug scolded. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Just saying!” Tygress snickered. She hoped her joke would lighten the mood, but there wasn’t a dry eye in the room as the horse stepped through his portal to the bakery, Madeleine in his arms. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ladybug stood with her back straight, Cat Noir reaching over to rub her shoulder. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She’ll be okay.” He reassured her.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t doubt that.” Ladybug said softly, hitting send on her bug phone to make sure Nino got the video. She didn’t elaborate but both Tygress and Cat Noir understood her implication: she will be, they might not. Tygress still fancied their chances.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“There’s three of us, and one of him.” She insisted, erring on the side of optimism. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“More of us if we call in some of our old allies? Power in numbers?” Cat Noir suggested. Chloé was always willing and eager to help, they could use the back up. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Nope. Three as six should do it.” Ladybug said, handing him a box. “Listen up: Here’s the plan...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>—————————</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The mansion seemed just as empty and abandoned as it had their last two visits. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>‘Cat Noir’ had cataclysmed the cctv for good measure: in case someone inside was still checking it, as he himself had been periodically since his father’s departure. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“So...” Whispered ‘Ladybug’ as they climbed in through a window - the same music room window they’d smashed up months ago in a fit of rage. The knowledge that he’d been there the entire time they’d destroyed his things filled her with fury, right under their noses and she’d missed it.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Swathes of sparkling marble surrounded them, cold as ever, and not as silent to step on as Ladybug would have liked for a sneak attack.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“If you were a billionaire supervillain with an evil lair, where would you hide it?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Basement. There’s always a creepy as hell basement.” ‘Tygress’ said decisively. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“When I saw the akuma leaving the building that night, it came from the attic.” Cat Noir jabbed his stick upward. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“That’s how you found out he was your father and... you’re just telling me this now?” Ladybug sighed heavily. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I didn’t think it was relevant!” He apologised. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Okay, can the domestic. So... where’s the entrance to the attic?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“That’s just it... the actual attic’s full of Christmas stuff, and there wouldn’t be room to move... so... there must be an additional one. How we get to that’s a whole other matter...” Cat Noir sighed, leading them up the stairs. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Guessing cataclysming a wall’s going to lose us the element of surprise?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“There’s an elevator.” Said a panicked voice. Ladybug, Cat Noir and Tygress all jumped spectacularly. They hadn’t heard anybody approaching, and all whirled around on the staircase to see where the sound had come from. “It’s in his office.” The disembodied voice continued. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Nathalie?” Cat Noir looked hopelessly around until Ladybug pointed out the air vent on the wall. Nathalie’s voice must be carrying from another location. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Behind Emilie’s portrait. I should warn you...” There was something about Nathalie’s voice shaking that seemed to set them all on edge. What could <em>Nathalie</em> be afraid of? “I should warn you that he knows you’re here.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well... there goes the element of surprise.” Ladybug muttered, knowing she had a few more tricks up her spotted sleeves. Oddly, knowing she was walking straight into facing him felt less like a trap than breaking in, the three heroes abandoning the vent and heading down to his office. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Pristine as ever, with no obvious signs that anyone had been using it, the office didn’t look at all out of order. Ladybug began examining the portrait, looking for a hidden button or lever. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No sense getting sentimental now, your ladybugs will repair it later.” Cat Noir muttered, running his claws right through his mother’s portrait and exposing the mechanics. With a few presses of the previously hidden buttons, a glass tube elevator appeared from the floor. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“How the fuck was all this in my house and I didn’t know?” Cat Noir hissed, irritated as they stepped into the machinery the floor had moved to uncover. All those years spent searching for Hawkmoth and he’d literally stood on top of his lair dozens of times. He’d been surprised when he learned of the hidden safe, in his teens - there was a whole extra room?! </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Same way I didn’t realise I was living with a super hero.” Ladybug said gently. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“The mask addle our brains, I asked Trixx about it once.” Tygress soothed. The mechanical whirring of the elevator moving made Marinette dizzy as they were pulled down through the floorboards. Alya wins: basement was correct. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Except it lead them down to a bizarrely shaped room, that seemed to extend the entire width of the mansion, a large gangway leading to a garden, with space up the side that stretched all the way to the roof and a large window. Okay... Adrien had been right about the attic too. His lair seemed to somehow encompass the entire house with its odd shape, wrapping the whole building in a dark shell. <em>Like a butterfly’s cocoon</em> Ladybug thought to herself. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Weapons braced they began crossing the bridge, only pausing when they saw the woman in the garden. She was paler than any of them remembered, ghostly white and gaunt against the greenery of the garden, sat down in the grass. She didn’t look capable of standing. Absently, Cat Noir thought she was bait - a distraction. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Nathalie.” Cat Noir said curtly, trying not to get sentimental: she looked drawn and ill... but she was a super villain, she’d aided and abetted Hawkmoth’s crimes. He refused to feel sorry for her. “Where’s the guest of honour?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Up there.” Nathalie whispered, looking up to the attic portion of the hidden room where a shadow loomed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re sick.” Ladybug said gently, trap or not - the woman was unwell. Nathalie nodded.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes.” She confirmed. “History repeats itself.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t understand... I fixed Duusu.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You of all people ought to know that sometimes fixing the thing doesn’t repair the damage caused.” Nathalie said, pausing to cough into her sleeve. It came away bloody and Ladybug felt sick - partially due to Nathalie’s damaged state, but partially at the comment. No sense pretending they didn’t know who she was then. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She nodded at Cat Noir who sighed and flicked something on his wrist. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Tygress, I want you to take Nathalie to safety.” Ladybug said decisively. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Uh no. I’m not leaving you here to...” Tygress began, annoyed - she hadn’t come this far to get thrown out now, especially not rescuing a bad guy. Standing and talking in the garden was losing them time though: Hawkmoth already knew they were here, he was standing feet away... why hadn’t he attacked? </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Plan 3.” Ladybug said firmly. Tygress paused. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Will plan 1 still work with 3?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m feeling lucky.” Ladybug smiled - she wasn’t about to doubt herself now. “Go. Get her out of here.” She nodded to make sure Tygress understood and the Tiger only sighed, bending to lift Nathalie. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“He knows who you are.” Nathalie said, her voice soft. “It hasn’t changed his mind. Adrien... I’m so sorry.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Sorry doesn’t make it right, Nathalie.” Cat Noir said coldly, bristling at the use of his name. There had been a time Nathalie had been the closest thing he had to a mother, but his stomach turned in revulsion now, even seeing her so broken.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“He can’t be reasoned with.” Warned the ill woman. “He’s gone quite mad. You should run while you can...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Go with Tygress. She’ll make sure you’re taken care of.” He insisted. Tygress took off down the gangway, half expecting to be attacked as she made her exit. They made it across unaccosted. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Tygress carried Nathalie into the elevator. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“To be clear... if you’re faking this, to attack me, I have no qualms about killing you if it comes to a fight. The moral high ground over whether you stay dead is for Ladybug to decide.” She warned the woman, tone icy cold.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t doubt it.” Nathalie sighed, exhausted as Gabriel’s office came into view. Daylight streamed in through the windows and the older woman sighed softly. She hadn’t seen the outside world in months... It had been so close.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Tygress set her down on the floor and pulled out her compact, tapping several buttons to enact plan three: Expose Hawkmoth to the world. The article on the blog went live, a pre-recorded video was sent to Sergeant Raincomprix to bring the police, another to Nadja to summon the news crews. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What are you doing?” Nathalie asked, confused. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“None of your business.” Tygress growled before dialling for an ambulance. She intended to stay in this room as long as possible, for fear of breaking her illusion. It didn’t really matter now if Tygress was exposed to Nathalie as wielding the Tiger and the Fox at the same time, disguising herself as the tiger, but she worried that stepping too far away from Adrien and Marinette would blow their covers too, and she didn’t want to do that. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Down below: </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Will her illusion still work at a distance?” Cat Noir whispered in Ladybug’s ear, using the sound of the escaping elevator to cover. Ladybug shrugged. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Not sure. We can try anyway.” She turned slowly, assessing the garden. It was beautiful. Roses bloomed from bushes that wound all around the verdant grassy area, white butterflies - akumas in their purest form - fluttered from flower to flower. It was beautiful... peaceful. She had a feeling she knew what the place was, and it wasn’t just for harvesting butterflies. <em>That’s why he said he was with her... </em></p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Cat Noir felt uneasy as they wandered through it, toward the elevated platform. Why had Hawkmoth just <em>let them</em> take Nathalie? He’d kept her here this long for a reason, surely? Worried that Tygress had been lured into a trap, he tensed his grip on his baton. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Hawkmoth stood, transformed, on a balcony platform, below a large observatory window that backlit him ominously. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You actually going to come down here and fight me like a man, father?” Cat Noir called upward. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Now why would I do a thing like that, Adrien?” Hawkmoth’s tone was so calm it was chilling. Both heroes had walked in, not exactly anticipating their demise but knowing it was a possibility and Hawkmoth was apparently unafraid.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No, I don’t want to fight you. But it’s time we talked.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’ll see if I can fit you in to my schedule. How’s next Thursday at six sound?” Cat Noir growled, wielding his stick. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He didn’t want to talk, he wanted to fight, the only thing stopping him from launching himself skyward on his baton was Ladybug’s gentle hand on his forearm. Not yet. He had to wait for her command. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Such anger... such rage...” Hawkmoth mused softly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Gee, I wonder why?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Calm down, kitty. Don’t let him get in your head.” Ladybug said, voice level. Cat Noir wondered how she could possibly be so calm, face to face with evil. This was the same woman who had panic attacks on his living room floor because of all Hawkmoth had put her through. Ladybug credited the same surge of adrenaline that had struck her the night of the attack: she couldn’t panic now, she had a job to do. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Then talk,” she shouted upward “we’re listening.” Turning to face them, he appraised Ladybug with a slight tilt of his head, his face unreadable in the shadows. Nathalie had warned of his fragile sanity, but Ladybug was startled all the same, he reacted as though he’d just realised she was there too. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“This has nothing to do with you. This is a family matter. You may leave.” He said curtly. Cat Noir laughed at the absurdity of it: butterfly miraculous or not, the man was his father through and through. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You can’t just dismiss her! She’s not your staff!” He snarled. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m family, whether you like it or not... I’m even on your Christmas card list.” Ladybug argued, back straight. For a moment he seemed ready to dismiss the claim, but then, with a flurry of his cloak, he leapt down from the platform, landing on the grass before them. He leaned on his cane and assessed them both carefully, steely blue eyes narrowed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes.” He concluded. “I suppose you are for now.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The suddenness of his descent had Cat Noir on guard, baton raised and ready to lock horns. He was just as unnerved as Ladybug when Hawkmoth swept past them and deeper into the garden, vanishing among the rose bushes.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What the fuck...” he whispered. Ladybug shrugged and tapped her wrist in signal, Cat Noir nodded and reset the disguised bracelet at his wrist, his first five minutes up. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>They were taking no unnecessary risks - they’d need as many second chances as they could. Alya’s illusion kept him looking like Cat Noir, securely hiding the fact he was wielding the snake as well. They followed Hawkmoth’s path through the rose bushes, scattering butterflies with each step until they reached the centre. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You understand that everything I’ve done, I’ve done for you?” Hawkmoth asked gently. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“The part where you sexually assaulted two teenagers included?” Cat Noir growled. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“That... was not planned.” Muttered Hawkmoth darkly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Still did it though. Still used your son to rape someone.” Cat Noir pointed out, irked by his defence.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I didn’t know you were my son at the time.” The elder gentleman said, as though this simplified the matter.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“THAT DOESN’T MAKE IT OKAY!” Cat Noir roared, infuriated. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You were in his head. How did you not know?” Ladybug questioned. Hawkmoth paused for a moment, he extended his hand and let a butterfly land on his outstretched finger, flapping gently until it realised he was not a flower and took its leave. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Akumas are... not an exact science. All I learned of my power I learned on my own.” He spoke softly. “Some fight harder than others. Cat Noir kept a very tight lid on his memories, he wouldn’t let me see anything apart from what had frightened him so much: seeing an akuma leave my house. The only time he faltered, was unable to shield his memories, was after... when you goaded him... called him a coward for not making a move with a girl he liked... he tried not to think of her but I caught a glimpse of his real life... of Adrien Agreste dancing with Marinette Dupain-Cheng. I figured you both out in that moment.” Ladybug recalled the moment... she’d been tied up... desperate. When she’d become cruel to him in retaliation... Cat Noir seemed ashamed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You held out as long as you could, that was right at the end.” Ladybug whispered in reassurance. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“And it was <em>you</em> I put in danger. <em>You</em> I couldn’t help thinking about. <em>You</em> I gave away.” He hissed back, disappointed in himself. A red gloved hand found his elbow, squeezing gently. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Still doesn’t matter.” Cat Noir spoke again, louder this time, colder. “Whether you knew beforehand who I was or not... you still...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No.” Hawkmoth’s tone was firm as he shook his head. “I only told you to kiss her and take the earrings. The conversations, the choices... they were all your own.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I WOULD NEVER HAVE HURT HER LIKE THAT!” Cat Noir roared, looking at Ladybug, panic stricken, fearing his father was trying to turn her against him. She’d been shaken enough as it was without thinking he’d instigated it. Ladybug had her nose scrunched, considering it. That would make a lot of sense, actually. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“The akuma reacts to emotion... not thought or moral implication?” She asked, curious. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s... effectively the removal of one’s moral compass. Every single person reacts differently without it. Some obey my every order, some cling to their anger and seek only revenge, some just... take what they want.” His explanation was blunt, and Cat Noir thought they’d both gone insane, wondering how on Earth they could be having a calm conversation about this.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“But he didn’t want Ladybug, he wanted Marinette...” mused Ladybug. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Magic recognises magic, even if he didn’t understand it... subconsciously he wanted you... the akuma always knows what to seek in exchange.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Okay... that explains how you knew who I was...” Adrien hadn’t given her away by dating her, Cat Noir had unknowingly given him the puzzle pieces while akumatised. “So he didn’t behave the way you intended. We’ve seen that happen before...” Ladybug agreed, thinking of akumas and amoks alike that had refused to comply. “But you could have stopped it at any point. You didn’t.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“CAN WE STOP ACTING LIKE THIS IS A NORMAL CONVERSATION TO HAVE!!!” Cat Noir fumed. Why on Earth was Ladybug engaging in a dialogue? They needed to attack first, before Hawkmoth turned on them. How could she not see that? “This is the worst thing you ever did, and you’re talking about it like it was a failed business deal!” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Calm down.” Ladybug said gently, noting her fiancé’s distress and giving him a look that said she was still on plan.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“The worst thing I ever did?” Hawkmoth scoffed. “Really Adrien? One of my akumas once tried to boil Chloé Bourgeois in a vat of soup. One drowned a three year old in the river because he sang too loudly. I nearly caused a nuclear war... and you losing your virginity to the girl you love is the worst thing I ever did? Try getting a little perspective.” He chided. Cat Noir felt sick. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You didn’t stop it, Hawkmoth.” Ladybug repeated in reprimand. “You could have recalled the akuma at any point and you didn’t. You didn’t stop him from hurting me.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No.” Hawkmoth agreed, voice soft and laced with regret. “I didn’t.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The tone gave her hope. Nathalie had warned that he was beyond reason... no. If he could still feel pain he could perhaps still be coerced into handing over his miraculous. A non-violent solution was possible. Talking down the villain had worked only once before... with Cat Noir. She dared to hope she could. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You hurt your son, Gabriel. You can’t undo that... but you can do the right thing now. It’s not too late to turn yourself in.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Always the optimist, Ladybug... but it’s far too late for that... and I <em>can</em> undo it.” His conviction was terrifying, the calmness and the certainty. Cat Noir flicked his wrist again, passing it off as a gesture of panic and agitation by trailing his hands up to his shoulders. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Several years ago, I knew I’d gone too far... that in my quest to build a better life for Adrien... to return his mother, I’d broken him.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“He’s not broken.” Ladybug argued. He continued as though he hadn’t been interrupted. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Robbed him of the things he needed, endangered him on occasion, clouded his judgement, to a point... I neglected him.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“To a point? You were NEVER there!” Cat Noir snapped. Hawkmoth nodded in agreement. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I passed the point of no return years ago. The only option left was to win. Every act of malice, every unspeakable evil I’ve committed... it was worth it because it <em>can</em> be undone. And all you have to do is give me your miraculous.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Not going to happen.” Cat Noir hissed.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“How did I know you’d be difficult?” Hawkmoth sighed. “Perhaps the ladies can convince you?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ladybug and Cat Noir glanced around, waiting to be attacked. The ladies? Pain and Tears again? The trio of punishers? No, their disguises were still in place, Alya was still on their side and close by. No attack came. Instead, Gabriel pressed a button and another glass tube rose from the floor. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Cat Noir threw up. Ladybug flinched. Hawkmoth didn’t even blink. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“How did she die?” Ladybug asked, the first to recover from the shock of the sight. Emilie Agreste lay still in her coffin, pale and peaceful. Ladybug had suspected upon entering the garden that it was a memorial... but had anticipated finding a gravestone, not the grotesque sight of her preserved body, displayed behind glass like a grizzly ornament. Her own stomach was in knots and Emilie wasn’t her mother, she could only stroke Cat Noir’s back as he retched. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She’s not dead... but she might as well be. Powerful magic keeps her asleep. She won’t wake.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ladybug’s stronger than you.” Cat Noir whispered. “She could do it.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I already told you... I can’t make that promise.” Ladybug warned, worried he was getting his hopes up. Emilie had vanished years ago and Ladybug had never seen an enchanted sleep like that, had no clue where to even start. Waking her  could well be beyond even the guardian’s power. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“But he could have tried.” Cat Noir straightened up, pale and wiping vomit from his mouth. “You could have tried. You could have ASKED FOR OUR HELP!” He snarled. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ladybug had never seen him so distressed, teeth barred and eyes narrowed to slits. Like a wild cat backed into a corner. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’ll try.” She offered, hoping to quell the tension. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No. It’s too late for that. I’m not bringing her back to this world. Not like this.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“The world YOU messed up!” Cat Noir argued. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes.... which is why you’ll surrender your miraculous, isn’t that your <b>job</b> as heroes? To fix bad things? Isn’t it your moral duty to scrub the world of Hawkmoth and all his atrocities? How many Parisians are tormented by the aftermath of my attacks? How many are in therapy? How many <em>killed themselves</em> afterward?” Ladybug closed her eyes as he spoke, realising the problem. Hawkmoth couldn’t be reasoned with, because everything he had ever done, while he knew the acts were evil and clearly regretted them, was justifiable in his own head because it was temporary. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“The goal is to wind the clock back? To before she got hurt?” She realised. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I told you. I’m past the point of no return. You will give me your miraculous to undo all this evil or I will do your job for you and take them to fix it. There is no other way.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No.” Cat Noir’s voice was firm. “Because I knew my mother. I wasn’t too little to know right from wrong when she died.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Fell asleep.” Hawkmoth corrected. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Died.” Cat Noir snapped back, raising his baton to ready an attack. “I remember my mother! And <b>my</b> mother wouldn’t condone this!” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She’d never know.” Hawkmoth said softly. “I win,  the world goes back to before she broke her miraculous, I stop her from going too far. You get your mother back, your father back, you both get your childhoods back...” Cat Noir grimaced. “Paris never suffers any trauma. Saving Paris... It’s the right thing to do... isn’t it Ladybug?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Don’t twist things around.” Ladybug readied her yo yo, preparing to fight. Twisted was the correct word. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>His view of everything had become some warped. Too long spent in the shadows had left him believing he was a hero forced to take drastic action. The realisation that not everyone could be saved hit her hard, he’d said it himself... he was past the point of no return. Hawkmoth had raised his cane in defence, expecting a hit. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“And what about your lady’s trauma, Adrien? If you won’t spare Paris the pain, won’t spare the love of my life the agony, what about yours?” He nodded at Ladybug. “I can take it away. So you never touched her, never hurt her... I can make it right again.” She didn’t like being discussed as an object but Cat Noir had frozen, and Ladybug dismissed the slight because she knew he was tempted, however briefly.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She’d entertained the thought herself once or twice, hadn’t she? Dwelled on the chance to forget all the hardship, to forgo the pain. She’d considered giving up the miracle box at one point to escape it. Hawkmoth was offering them peace... and she couldn’t blame her kitty for being momentarily swayed, but she had to put him back on the right path as he had with her so many times. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Hawkmoth seized the moment, whacking Cat Noir’s knees from beneath him. Ladybug was quick to step into the fray, spinning her yo yo as a shield. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You can’t take away the bad things without taking away the good that came into the world too.” Ladybug said, knowing her partner was more than a little knocked, not just physically. The cane came at her, and she deflected while Cat Noir found his feet. “Alya Cesaire and Nino Lahiffe got together because of an akuma attack, Ladybug and Cat Noir got their powers because of Hawkmoth, Miss Sinclair met May’s father at the hospital once because we didn’t get there in time to prevent her injury, Madeleine Dupain-Cheng <em>exists</em> because of Hawkmoth!” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“So your own happiness is worth the pain inflicted on the world?” Hawkmoth mocked.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We didn’t cause that. You can’t make this our fault.” Cat Noir agreed from behind her, supporting her reasoning.  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>A clash of cane and baton, as he leapt once more into attack mode, giving her the space she needed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ladybug took a deep breath. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“RISE!” She hollered into the basement. A flurry of a dozen feathers rained down on them, each glowing a fantastic white. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What?! That’s Emilie’s...” Hawkmoth was thrown, as each feather took shape, the garden around them springing to life. Quite literally. The roses touched by feathers grew faces, their bodies long limbed and covered with thorns, the blades of grass grew to six feet tall, the butterfly that was affected was more like a pterodactyl, wings spanning twelve feet. “The peacock...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Can be used for good, not just evil.” Cat Noir said with a grin, proud of her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I should know. Your mother used to wield it.” Hawkmoth agreed, eyeing the wild garden Ladybug had created. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Help us?” Ladybug asked gently. A white rose was the first to move, following Ladybug’s orders. Cat Noir flicked his wrist again and this time it did not go unnoticed by Hawkmoth as he realised the trick. They were wielding two miraculous each. The tiger must be controlling the fox too, from behind the scenes. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Foolish children.” Hawkmoth said exasperatedly, stepping back and swiping at the rose. “Sentimonsters are sentient. They’re capable of feeling... which means...” he swung his cane like a sword and sliced the stalk of the white rose creature, which let loose an agonising scream from its snowy petals.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ladybug screamed too. Her creature had been struck, but the blow hit her - she’d never wielded Duusu, hadn’t been aware of that side effect. It stung, but it was more than survivable with her suit on. Still hurt. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“They’re capable of pain! And... Of negative emotions!” Hawkmoth declared gleefully. One of the garden’s remaining small butterflies turned black, and the moment Cat Noir reached for his wrist to second chance it and warn her of the impending akumatisation, while Ladybug was distracted by trying to capture it before it reached the wounded rose, Hawkmoth knocked Cat Noir down once more.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Everything happened so fast: whilst Ladybug was pleased she’d captured the butterfly before her rose could be turned against her, Cat Noir was floored and the disguised bracelet was wrenched from his wrist. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“My Lady...” he warned. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Protect Cat Noir!” Ladybug ordered her army, the creatures descending on the wrestling pair. Twin cries of </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“LUCKY CHARM!” And “CATACLYSM!” Echoed through the air. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Her lucky charm was a large stick and she blinked, trying to figure out what the hell to do with it as the bizarre fight beside her continued. She wasn’t in the thick of it but every time a member of her garden received a hit, from either Hawkmoth or Cat Noir, she did too. It made her dizzy. She could see a black, glowing hand emerge from behind the giant butterfly wing.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She didn’t want Adrien to have to cataclysm his own father. However angry he was, however hurt and frustrated... fixing it with her miraculous ladybugs wouldn’t take away the emotional damage of having to kill his own flesh and blood. So she did the only thing she could think of. She wedged the stick between two of her Roses, using it as a lever to force the warring creatures apart - Cat Noir wrapped in one set of vines, Hawkmoth in another. Both held tight. Her lucky charm disintegrated, Ladybug presumed it had accidentally caught Cat Noir’s wielded cataclysm as his hand was no longer glowing as he struggled in her red Rose’s grip. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Enough!” She barked.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“He started it.” Cat Noir grumbled. Hawkmoth had his head bowed low, still trapped by the white rose. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What are you, five?” Ladybug scolded. “I don’t care who started it! It ends now. Rose... thing... I’m sorry I should have given you guys names, huh... could you take Hawkmoth’s pin?” She asked politely. Hawkmoth simply laughed as the creature stole it from him, ripping the butterfly brooch from his lapel. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ladybug quaked at the sight.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Where Gabriel Agreste ought to be, was a black leather-clad Cat man. More of a panther than a house cat, he looked wild, his eyes narrowed down to reptillian slits. The snake and the cat... Ladybug looked at Cat Noir, who was wide eyed and frantically trying to free his hand to see what the hell had happened. Ladybug had seen the snake miraculous come off... she hadn’t seen the ring but if Hawkmoth had used the second chance... </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Something had changed. He’d flipped the time stream to make sure he wound up with both the snake and the cat. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Your friend’s illusion is powerful.” Hawkmoth smirked... well whoever he was now without the butterfly miraculous and wielding the cat and the snake. He nodded at Cat Noir: who still looked like Cat Noir. “You can’t even tell it’s missing...” Cat Noir hadn’t realised his miraculous were missing because even with them gone, the illusion held.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Rena! Abort plan 1!” Ladybug yelled into her communicator, but the next thing she felt was sheer agony as the rose creature keeping him captive disintegrated under Gabriel’s hand. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She’d never felt pain like it, including labor. Her skin burned and she felt like she was crumbling. She still looked like herself though... she wasn’t actually on fire. Or maybe the illusion just made her look unharmed? Maybe she was turning to ash too? She could barely breathe.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“MARINETTE!” Cat Noir was screaming, trying to free himself from the Rose who still followed orders Marinette couldn’t give. Her mouth wouldn’t work. Every fibre of her being was burning, aching, screaming for it to end. She wished he’d stop kicking the damn Rose, she could feel every blow. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“How do you think Emilie broke the miraculous? How does it feel to endure the physical pain of all you’ve created, Lady...bird?” Asked a voice. Ladybird? Looking down at herself she realised her illusion had worn off, that Alya had recalled it somewhere above, it was now obvious she was double wielding, Tikki’s red spotted outfit combined with Duusu’s elegant peacock dress. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Despite the agony, she raised her head, trying her hardest to form words. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You can’t...” she croaked. Every word felt like acid in her throat. “You can’t... pretend the... bad things never happened.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I won’t be pretending, just rewinding it to before the worst thing happened.” She felt a hand at her ear and tried to move away, but the full impact of a cataclysm was still working its way through her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Luck...” she tried to whisper, if she could just heal herself... but the earring was pulled from her left ear, half of her Ladybug costume falling away. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p><em>Teal and red. Not a half bad combination</em>. She thought dazedly, her head feeling like it was full of syrup. No. She had a job to do. She could vaguely hear Adrien struggling against her Rose... every kick added to her agony but the Rose still didn’t let him go... why... oh right, had to give the order... wait no... he was unarmed... he was safer up there, right?</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The choice was taken out of her hands as Gabriel already had the peacock, setting it aside. Right down the middle she was half Ladybug, half Marinette. The stuff of her nightmares - pinned, at Hawkmoth’s mercy, and half helpless. The room stilled as her creatures, still alive save for the cataclysmed rose, no longer had a caretaker. No longer had orders to follow. Adrien began to fight in earnest once more, now he knew he wasn’t hurting Marinette to get to her.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Gabriel reached for her other earring and she managed to turn her face, ignoring the grinding of her bones as they begged her to <em>just stay down</em>. Gabriel laughed softly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s over, Marinette. Stop fighting.” He said gently. He spoke with the kindness of a father soothing a struggling child and it rang hollow in her ears. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Never.” She whispered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’ll all be over in a minute.” He promised her, gripping her chin and forcing her to face him. She was fairly certain her head was going to implode. If he removed the last earring... she was certain she was going to fall apart. She would be nothing but dust. The cataclysm was taking its sweet time but it was still doing its job, the suit having protected her this long. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>In that moment she knew she was going to die.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>All hope of redemption gone, Marinette did what she did when down to the wire last time she’d faced Hawkmoth. She got mean. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“If you intend to stop her making the same mistake,” she panted “you’ll have to remember.” She said softly. Even talking hurt. “I hope it eats away at you, knowing every awful thing you ever did. I hope you remember torturing Paris so your wife could get a second shot she wouldn’t have wanted. I hope you remember trying to boil a teenage girl alive, trying to incite world war three, drowning a three year old in the Seine, I hope you remember sexually assaulting your own son who looks on at you cluelessly. I hope you remember killing his fiancée in front of him.” She spat in his cat/snake face. “I hope you remember erasing your grand daughter from existence.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>This seemed to make him pause. Adrien was still wriggling in the arms of the Rose, trying to get to her in time. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“There’s... still time to...” she felt faint: she was going to lose consciousness before the end. Maybe that was kinder than having to watch Adrien’s face as she died. “Time to do the right thing, Gabriel.” She whispered, eyes shutting as she fainted. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“MARINETTE! MARINETTE!” Adrien was nearly feral. Every kick he’d dealt the rose monster clutching him had hurt her, so he’d been forced to relent, to struggle half heartedly, for fear of escalating her pain. With the peacock miraculous no longer attached, he fought at maximum strength... but he had no miraculous to wield. No powers. He was useless against an eight foot tall rose, the last of Marinette’s own power being twisted and used against him, protecting him as requested but preventing him from getting her down. He was going to have to watch... so he said the first thing that came into his head. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She sings La Vie En Rose to our daughter!” He blurted. Gabriel’s hand froze on Marinette’s earring. “Mother used to play it for me when I was little. Our daughter settles to it. You saw her right - Maddy? You came to our apartment to see her!”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I did...” Gabriel whispered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She’s got my nose. Her eyes are getting greener every day... You looked that little girl in the eye... mother’s eyes... and you’re going to take her from me? Marinette agreed to marry me if we live through this and I have never... never been happier.” Adrien breathed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You can say you’re doing this for me all you want... you’re doing it for <em>you</em>. So that you don’t have to live with what you’ve done. I can’t stop you... I physically can’t stop you...” he hissed, still trapped. “But you sure as hell can’t claim you’re destroying my family for my benefit and I hope to god you remember that!” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Your mother...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Wouldn’t want this.” Adrien choked. Gabriel seemed affected by his words. He hadn’t taken Marinette’s earring, at any rate. “Please, don’t do this. Your biggest threat to us was a Christmas card... you left us alone. You waited for us to come to you when you could have struck while we were weak. I’m begging you to look at what you’re doing. If there’s any humanity left in you then you don’t want to do this, just... please... let go.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Gabriel stood up, blinking slowly. He cast a glance at Emilie in her coffin, at Adrien, powerless and defeated, and at Ladybug/Marinette, half super hero and half civilian at his feet, who had gone down still fighting. Adrien swallowed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“La vie en rose...” Gabriel said softly. “I... can barely remember her singing that...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“One of my favourite memories of her. She taught me it in three different languages. I’ll teach it to Madeleine when she’s bigger.” Adrien said, closing his eyes. He wanted to. He’d learn it in four languages just so they had one of their own. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Why Madeleine?” Gabriel asked, curious. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“... I was hungry. If Marinette asks I just really liked the name.” He joked weakly. Gabriel smiled. It was a soft, barely there look. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She used to make them with you... an activity to keep you occupied stuck at home. They were your favourite before you started modelling...” Gabriel murmured. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Don’t do this in her memory.” Adrien whispered. “Don’t do it in my name. Marinette’s never wrong. It’s not too late. You can still take responsibility for what you did...” and then he laughed. The monstrous snake/cat creature hiding his father laughed and Adrien wanted in that moment to murder him. Justice be damned. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Now... why would I do a thing like that?” Gabriel asked. “Cataclysm.” Adrien jolted, fully expecting his father to whirl around and destroy Marinette, or to kill the creature holding Adrien and let him fall... instead he said</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You were by far the greatest thing she ever created, Adrien” and turned his hand on himself. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien watched as his father crumbled to dust. </p>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Gabriel’s actually quite fun to write because he’s creepy as hell. Artistic liberties were taken with the lair because... does anybody actually know how that whole attic/basement thing connects? I mean there are windows??? I’m confused so please just ignore any inconsistencies there, it’s a cocoon if I say it’s a cocoon! </p>
<p>Still a few more things to wrap up. It’s not over yet, folks! Thanks for reading and reviewing ❤️</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Chapter 22</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>With apologies to gynacelle</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Shorter chapter than usual because I wound up splitting it for pacing.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div>
  <p>Rena Rouge (having taken off the tiger miraculous to send Roaar on an errand in case plan five was activated after plan one failed) dropped into the room via an air vent and blinked at the sight.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien was being held aloft by a gargantuan flower. A giant butterfly was swooping around overheard, each flap of its wings creating an ominous wind. Blades of grass walked freely around, apparently confused. Marinette lay unconscious on the floor in a bizarre harlequin of herself, half Ladybug and half Marinette. A glass coffin contained a blonde woman she’d never seen but could only (sadly) assume was Emilie Agreste. And finally her eyes found a large pile of black ash which covered the floor, jewels twinkling away in it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What the actual fuck did I miss?” Rena Rouge asked. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Get me out of this stupid flower would you?” Adrien snapped, still captive and desperate to reach his fiancée who was stirring back to consciousness far below.  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Not... stupid.” Marinette/Ladybug murmured dazedly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh thank god you’re awake.” Adrien groaned from his floral perch. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Need... where’s my... ooft, this is worse than a c section.” She complained, reaching blindly through the ash to find her earring and reattaching it as Alya helped Adrien down. “Don’t hurt the flower.” Ladybug warned. “She’s not stupid. She did her job. I’m just not used to Duusu.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re... worried about the flower’s feelings right now?” Adrien asked incredulously, confused as the creature let him go at the kindness shown to it... her? Ladybug nodded as her costume reformed and she felt considerably better for it, not fully healed but able to endure the pain.  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Remind me never to get on the wrong side of your cataclysm again.” She murmured, forcing herself to shaky hands and knees as she gathered the miraculous from the dust. “What happened?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Talked him out of it... I figured... he’d waited for us to come to him, left me alive, so he didn’t actually <em>want</em> to hurt me? So I talked him down... and he killed himself.” Adrien whispered, still a little shocked at the turn of events. Ladybug hummed and nodded. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Police and press on standby?” She asked her friend. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“And an ambulance if you need one...” Rena said gently, biting her lip. “You okay?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Will be in a minute.” Promised Ladybug as Adrien reached her, arm going around her waist to help right her. “Lucky charm!” She called out, leaning against him for balance. An umbrella fell into her hands. Of course it would be an umbrella, she nearly laughed, had the situation not been so devastating she would have. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Don’t... don’t bring him back.” Adrien whispered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I have to.” She insisted. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“The world <em>is</em> better off without him... and it’s not like any of us offed him, right? He did it to himself... letting him stay dead’s not the same as killing him.” Rena Rouge said softly. Ladybug shook her head. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“That’s not our call to make. This...” she peered down at the pile of ashes, frowning. “This isn’t justice, it’s revenge. And... he doesn’t get to take the coward’s way out. He has to face what he did. He has to go to trial and deal with it.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“He could out us... could escape prison...” Warned Adrien, glancing down at the black powder with a lurching stomach. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“He could, but I think you’re right... I don’t think he ever wanted to hurt us.” Ladybug agreed gently. “And we don’t let people die if we can help it. Ever. He lives with his mistakes. Besides... I could really do with healing.” She confessed, rubbing her still sore ribs. “And Plagg...” she showed him the ring. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien’s heart ached as he realised Plagg’s ring and Sass’s bracelet were both cracked, thick black and purple veins splintering the metal, having taken a cataclysm directly to their active host. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Can... can you fix those?” He asked, petrified that he’d lost his kwami. Ladybug nodded, affixing the undamaged peacock pin to her chest. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We’ve broken miraculous before... usually fixes with the lucky charm. Because they were directly hit with the wearer maybe the miracle cure won’t fix it but I fixed Duusu with a spell. I know how to do it.” She said exhaustedly. “Who has the butterfly... oh, thank you...” her sentient rose wound a vine down to pass it to her. No longer obligated to obey her, but appreciating the politeness. “Duusu, Tikki... unify!” With a bright flash, she became the hero Gabriel had dubbed Ladybird once more, a red and black dress appearing. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Take care of these first... Thank you for all your help. Fall!” With a flash of turquoise her creatures vanished, returning to their original state as flowers, butterflies and grass. Still alive, just with their usual level of sentience returned, and no longer linked to her. Their feathers safely removed, she quickly unpinned the peacock brooch - opting to be Ladybug once more. Duusu was a tricky one to handle, and she’d be hesitant to loan her out in future knowing how she worked. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Could... Someone fetch me a rope or something.” She asked, flinching a little in pain. She’d need her yo yo in case things went south, so a regular rope would have to do. Rena vanished up the air vent she’d come down, returning moments later with a belt. Ladybug took it gratefully and loosed a deep breath. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Miraculous Ladybug!” A whirl of red and Ladybug was enveloped with her bugs and relished the odd tingle of them healing her, taking away the pain, the destroyed sentirose reappearing as a regular flower, and the pile of ash that had been Gabriel Agreste reformed, with no miraculous in his possession as Ladybug had them all. Lightning fast, fully healed, she moved to bind his wrists tightly with the belt. He didn’t even try to fight her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Right... first things first...” Ladybug took a deep breath and then punched Gabriel hard, directly in the face. Reeling, the man stepped back with the force of the blow, unable to stem the blood from his nose.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Go Ladybug.” Rena laughed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Glad one of us did.” Adrien shrugged. Ladybug cleared her throat. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Feel better for that?” Gabriel asked, glowering at her.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“A little, yes.” Admitted Ladybug. “Just making sure you know I can and will hurt you if you try anything.” She warned him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Okay, so upstairs we go. Might wanna change outfits.” Rena told Adrien but Ladybug sighed softly, shaking her head and showing them the problem. The snake bracelet appeared repaired, but Plagg’s ring was still cracked. She didn’t understand why her cure had worked on one and not the other... perhaps because it was Plagg’s own power that had caused it? Not an exact science... </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Don’t put it on! Go throw it in the Seine!” Gabriel hissed. “It’s toxic in that state. It’s what happened to...” he glanced over his shoulder, eyes landing on his wife. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s fixable. I managed to fix Duusu, I can save Plagg. Adrien won’t wear the ring until I’ve sorted it...” Ladybug reassured, sealing the excess gems in her yo yo and taking Gabriel’s arm with a vice like grip. He wasn’t escaping this time. “I’d never let any harm come to him.” She added. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I can make you look the part for the press though.” Rena said brightly, twirling her flute. Adrien nodded and with a few notes of music he appeared every bit Cat Noir once more. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What about...” he whispered, turning to look back at the coffin. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’ll try.” Ladybug said gently. “I’ll try my hardest, but for now... we’re not finished here yet.” She sighed heavily, marching Gabriel past the generator keeping Emilie’s coffin... temperature controlled? Oxygenated? She wasn’t sure. Medical stuff, no doubt. The buzzing from it, now loud enough for her to hear, had been what caught Cat Noir’s ears that night... her heart ached for him. She wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around him and let him cry, but they had Hawkmoth powered down, in custody. She needed him behind bars before her job was done. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The three heroes lead him into the elevator, surprised at his compliant silence. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Outside, Ladybug had never witnessed such a scene. Police, the army, news helicopters, reporters, civilians. It looked like half of Paris had turned up and the roar of cheer as Gabriel emerged captured was defeating. It rang hollow though. Cat Noir lead Gabriel to the police car and all but threw him in the back, content to walk away at that point but at his side, his Lady spoke. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Gabriel... I have one last question.” She told him. Cat Noir cringed - <em>don’t ask him that</em>, he thought, desperately ashamed and sure he knew what she was about to ask. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Your secrets are safe.” Gabriel muttered, averting his eyes. Ladybug paused.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Thank you, but that wasn’t what I was about to ask.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Why are you...” Cat Noir whispered, nervous.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“How many times did you have to reset Sass in order to win in there?” Ladybug asked, curiosity peaked. Cat Noir hesitated: he hadn’t even considered that. His father had had the snake Miraculous... Gabriel smirked. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Twenty seven and I couldn’t do it without taking you down first. Together, you were by far the better players.” He said softly. Oddly, Cat Noir was relieved: it had felt like he’d been useless, captured and unable to do anything. But twenty six times out of twenty seven, they’d beaten him. Somehow. He’d only got the upper hand by cheating the time stream and predicting their every move, by separating them. Ladybug nodded at Sergaent Raincomprix. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You can take him now... Oh and I might have broken his nose.” She chirped unapologetically.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>——</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The practicalities of it all took hours. The press statement (handled by Rena), the police statements (Ladybug and Cat Noir mostly), a medical team taking charge of Emilie Agreste and disappearing her into an ambulance amid the media furore, and a public request for the formal questioning of Adrien Agreste (which would be Adrien’s job, obviously). </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We sent him and his family to a safe location.” Ladybug told the police officer gently. “We can go fetch them now it’s over and I’m sure he’ll willingly testify.” She reassured, eyeing Cat Noir warily. He nodded, exhausted, listening carefully as she concocted a statement on the spot that he’d have to repeat later. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>That Adrien had known nothing until Christmas, that Ladybug and Cat Noir had suspected Gabriel of being Hawkmoth but had no proof and no idea of his whereabouts, and left Adrien instructions to get hold of them (via a remote control cat toy) if Gabriel made contact. That after the Christmas card arrived, and they believed Gabriel was still in Paris, they warned him of their suspicions fearing he was a target. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Waving everyone off and vanishing, they took off on foot as Cat Noir wasn’t actually wielding a miraculous, just disguised to look as though he was, and they didn’t want to be seen carrying him. When safely ensconced in the back gardens of the mansion, away from the cameras, Ladybug offered him the snake. He shook his head.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I think... I think it’s better if we just ditch the illusion and hand me over to the police to give a statement. Make it look like you fetched me. I need to go sort all that out and the stuff with my mother...” he swallowed. He looked broken. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Rena swished her flute and called for reality, Cat Noir detransforming in front of Ladybug’s eyes. She’d never seen Adrien look so lost and didn’t hesitate to wrap her arms around him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Can’t... I can’t right now, Bug.” He murmured, voice strained. He’d cry later. His job wasn’t finished. “Go call Carapace and get her back okay? I’ll be at the bakery as soon as I can.” He swore, returning the hug but only briefly. Glancing around to ensure she wasn’t caught canoodling with the enemy’s son, Ladybug kissed Adrien very gently. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I love you. I can stay as long as you need me. I can change and stay as myself or...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Or you can go home and give Maddy a cuddle. She needs one.” Adrien insisted, voice firm. Ladybug sighed heavily: Adrien was needed for questioning. She could hardly force him to let her stay... she felt pushed out all the same. They’d come this far together. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We’ll deal with it when you get back.” She agreed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’ll call Carapace and have him meet us back at the bakery.” Rena said gently. “You guys did amazing, sorry that I got caught up trying to stop the cameras storming the house. I was trying to prevent civilian casualties.” She sighed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You did great too. Thank you.” Ladybug insisted. A fist bump seemed in poor taste, considering the situation. “Is Roaar back safely?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yep. Winded up not being needed after all.” Rena reassured.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>With a longing glance at her partner, Ladybug squeezed Adrien’s hand and whispered to Rena to cause an illusion close by the media circus camped at the front gate, making it look as though she lead Adrien from a portal instead of from the back garden. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“He’s willing to give a full statement.” Ladybug said, smiling at the police woman who took charge of him. “Handcuffs won’t be necessary. He was innocent.” She added, making sure the press heard. The last thing they needed was him being thrown under the bus. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>And with that, Rena and Ladybug took off. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Getting clear space to detransform was difficult. All of Paris was out celebrating, the news having spread like wildfire. Already street parties were being set up in cheer, beer gardens normally closed this early in the year were packed to the brim, music blared from every building and the streets were full as people let loose riotous cheers at the sight of them. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“One last time then...” Rena said, twirling her flute. Ladybug was only vaguely aware of her appearance changing repeatedly as they got lost in the crowds in the streets below. Every time they passed through a large group of people they emerged looking like different civilians until in all the confusion, nobody would question the teenager with the blonde curls and the elderly woman emerging from the group near the bakery and sliding down an alley way together as though they’d taken a wrong turn. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Tikki, spots off.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Trixx, let’s rest.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The moment they were free of their costumes, Alya grabbed Marinette and pulled her into a tight hug, letting her fall apart. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You did it. You did it, it’s okay.” She soothed her friend. Marinette sobbed into Alya’s shoulder, flooded with relief and exhaustion. It was finally over. They stayed there for a good few minutes, holding each other up, both sniffling. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I shouldn’t have left him...” Marinette murmured, distraught. Why had she listened to him? She should have stayed... </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“He asked you to go back. I think he just wants you and Madeleine safe and with each other.” Alya promised. “He’ll come back when all the ts have been crossed and the is have been dotted.” She reassured. “C’mon Maman, let’s get you back to your little girl.” The blogger lead her by the arm, opening her handbag and letting their exhausted kwamis cuddle up with the snacks provided. She gave each of them a gentle pat on the head, leading them into the bakery. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh thank god,” Sabine sobbed, the first to reach them. Carapace sat on the couch, looking guilty, and Tom was pacing the room with Madeleine in his arms. “We saw the news, we were so worried!” Marinette and Alya were both pulled into a bone crushing hug. Over her mother’s shoulder, Marinette could see the news report on the television, joyously declaring the heroes victorious in capturing Hawkmoth. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Which of you gave him the bloody nose?” Carapace asked, as Sabine finally let them go and Marinette hurried to her father. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Uh... don’t know what you’re talking about Carapace, we were nowhere near all that.” Alya said innocently. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We know.” Tom said softly, easing Madeleine into Marinette’s arms before cuddling her.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You know?” She whispered, trembling. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“There’s not a thing in this world that can keep a mother from her baby in an emergency. We knew you’d have been with her if you could...” Sabine insisted, tears in her eyes. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She punched him in the fucking face! It was so cool!” Alya announced, happy to be secret free. She crossed to the sofa and flopped down next to her boyfriend, winding herself up in his arms.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ah my money was on Adrien!” Carapace laughed, watching the Dupain-Chengs all huddle up. Marinette was trembling. She loved her parents, and with Hawkmoth gone it was theoretically safe for them to know the whole truth but still felt felt oddly exposed. “Where is he?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Had some formalities to deal with. He sent us home ahead of him.” Alya said gently. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We’re so proud of you. All of you.” Sabine praised.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’d say the defeat of Hawkmoth calls for a celebration cake!” Tom cheered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Weakly, Marinette wound her way out of their arms and to the armchair, silently setting a throw pillow on her lap and settling down to feed her daughter. Everyone was celebrating. It was finally over. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>So why did she feel so lost? </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>———</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The statement - recited pretty much exactly as Ladybug had given it, only took Adrien about an hour while a very unsympathetic officer fact checked him repeatedly. Grilling him about whether he’d had any idea of Gabriel and Nathalie’s activity prior to that had taken an extra hour, but at least the officer who took over for him gave him coffee. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Something his father said had riled him though, the thought sitting and festering in his mind, unable to be shaken off. For the time being, his father wasn’t allowed visitors, and he had no intention of facing him again unless he really had to. So instead he accepted the police escort to his mother’s hospital bed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Given her own room, and laid out in a hospital robe, she looked so much smaller on the bed than he ever remembered her being when he was young. When had he become taller than her, he wondered? Adrien sat down in the chair beside her bed and found her hand, examining the IV drip and the monitors attached to her. He barely listened as a doctor explained her condition, focused on his mother’s hand in his. He’d seen Marinette in a similar state, post c section. Fragile. It wasn’t how he remembered his mother. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>It wasn’t how he saw Marinette. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He lost track of how long he was accompanied in the room, but when the final nurse had taken bloods, and the final doctor had read her machines, he raised her hand to his lips, surprised at how warm she was. Not entirely sure though, why he’d expected her to feel cold. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m sorry all this happened.” He said gently. “I’m sorry I didn’t know you were there. I’m sorry the man you loved became the monster he is today. I’m not sorry I became the man I am. I think... I think I became the man you wanted me to be. I think you’d be proud.” He admitted. “Aunt Amelie thinks you would... she’ll be along soon to visit I’m sure. And I’ll bring Marinette to see you... she’s amazing, you’d love her... but I’m not sure she can fix you either... I know she’ll try though.” He took a deep breath. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Is what he said true?” Adrien asked nobody in particular, addressing the room, silent save for the whirring of medical machinery. “He said... that I was the greatest thing you ever <em>created</em>. Am I... am I even real?” He whispered. He didn’t get an answer. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>———</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Four hours. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She sat in mostly silence, occasionally singing to Madeleine or closing her eyes to the noises of Paris partying, for four whole hours until the bell over the door clanged loudly to announce his return.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien looked worn out, and was clearly not expecting to be jumped on by literally everyone pulling him in for a hug the moment he stepped through the door. Sabine and Tom cuddling him as they would a son, Alya and Nino (he’d detransformed at some point during the four hours.) Kaalki, Tikki, Trixx, Roaar and Wayzz cheered for him while enjoying the snacks set out for them - Marinette knew she ought to get Sass, Dusuu and Nooroo out too, but was too mentally drained to deal with them. Plagg would need fixing, but that required her supplies which were at their apartment. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Let the man breathe.” Marinette scolded her family and friends, glad they were welcoming him but knowing firsthand how too much of that appreciation in the moment could be overwhelming. Getting to her feet she gave him a cautious smile. Adrien, the moment he was free, crossed the room and wrapped her in his arms, Madeleine between them. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s over.” Adrien whispered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Finally, he cried. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>—————— </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>If only over meant they could put it all behind them. Emilie’s fate became a complicated battle all on its own: she breathed and her heart beat all on their own, her brain was still active, so withdrawing life support wasn’t an option: but the doctors had never seen anything like it. There was no apparent reason for her to be asleep, no trauma, no wounds, her blood work and scans were all perfect but no matter what they tried, she wouldn’t wake up. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette read her book cover to cover whilst preparing Plagg’s reparation spell, but couldn’t find anything on enchanted sleep save for a kiss (which hadn’t worked. Adrien had tried it on one of his many visits to the hospital). </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Okay... I think everything’s ready.” Marinette said softly, slipping on Plagg’s ring and feeling a cold sense of dread.  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ugh. I think I ate some bad cheese.” Plagg complained as he materialised, feeling rather greener than he remembered. Fur tattered and eyes a little dull, he didn’t look well. He glanced from Marinette to Adrien to Madeleine and breathed a sigh of relief. “We won then?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We won.” Adrien agreed gently. “Good to see you, old friend.” He reached out to stroke Plagg’s head and the lights flickered with a power surge.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Careful, Plagg’s a walking talking bad luck charm until the ring’s fixed.” Marinette said, setting a bowl of water on the table. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“How much bad luck are we talking?” Adrien worried, rocking Madeleine and cautiously moving slightly away from his kwami who looked offended at the implication he was somehow tainted enough to hurt her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Don’t worry it’s mostly aimed at me. When fixing Duusu I tripped over a few things, banged my elbow, burnt myself on the sage... nothing too bad.” Marinette reassured him, raising her hand to show she was the one wearing the ring and would take the bad luck on the chin. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Usual disclaimer: Don’t drive, operate power tools, wield fire, or take any medication that stops you from having a heart attack. The kitten’s fine.” Plagg insisted. “I’m bad luck, it’s negative energy not evil.” He zipped over to the bowl on the table: he’d been cured from a broken ring a couple of times before - a bath once every few hundred years wouldn’t hurt him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette had paused, a look of realisation dawning across her features as suddenly the math made sense. All those mathematical unlikelihoods adding up with startling clarity.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Medication.” She whispered, deep in thought. “Plagg... are you aware of the... the bad vibe or whatever when you’re doing it?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I mean I can’t control it but... yeah. Sorry.” And before the word was even out of his mouth, Marinette had received a static shock from the coffee table leg. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ouch... my apologies to gynacelle.” Marinette laughed, shaking her head and sucking the injured finger as though that would heal the shock.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’ll have to ask her... but I’m <em>pretty</em> sure Duusu invalidated my contraceptives.” She concluded, fetching a lighter and recalling that she’d taken her pill while wearing a broken miraculous the few evenings following the attack.  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Remind me to thank her.” Adrien whispered, stroking Madeleine’s face. Marinette paused, looking up from the ingredients and smiling at the pair. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Best stroke of bad luck ever.” She agreed before  shaking her head. “Now get out of here before I spill this all over you, go take her to the park or something, I’ve got work to do.” She shooed her fiancé from the room, grateful at least that the days of being terrified to let her daughter out of her sight were behind her.  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“C’mon, let’s go visit mémé.” Adrien whispered, readying the pram to a hiss of </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ouch! Stupid sage...” from the living room. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Duusu!!! </p><p>Okay so I have now FINISHED writing this story, and provided nothing changes over the next few days of editing there are four more chapters to post (should be daily, might be a day or two depending on whether I get time to edit) dealing with the last few things to resolve. It’s been one hell of a ride, but it’s not quite over yet! ❤️</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Chapter 23</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Alternately titled “what I should have said”.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Nearly at the end of all the heavy stuff, I promise, but these two needed this chapter xx</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div>
  <p>“Four... five... six...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette wanted to scream but her lungs wouldn’t work. She was dizzy and he was counting which could only mean one thing. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Seven... eight... nine...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She’d had another panic attack. Her first coherent thought in the deluge of overstimulation was <em>no, not again</em>, her second was <em>where is he? </em>She groped through blurry vision until her hand found his in the sheets and she squeezed it, following his count to keep her breathing pattern in check. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t... I don’t understand...” she panted, becoming aware that her face was wet with tears. “It’s you! I’m supposed to be better now... I don’t... I wanted...” she babbled. She’d <em>wanted</em>. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s okay.” Adrien’s voice was strained, not wanting to admit he was a little shaken up too, mostly by the rapid speed with which things had fallen apart. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette had seemed so sure, so confident, that Adrien thought their luck had turned. She’d been fine... until she wasn’t. Until she was gasping for breath and clawing at the sheets to try cover herself before she’d fallen into a full scale, breathless panic attack.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Slowly she sat up, staring helplessly around their bedroom. She’d done everything right. Her parents had taken Madeleine shopping, so she didn’t need to worry about waking her, she’d bought condoms (not trusting her new contraceptive implant despite it’s 99% effectiveness, not falling for that trick twice), she’d listened to tips from Alya, she’d worn fancy new underwear designed by her own hand with breastfeeding being the furthest thought from her mind, lit innumerable candles that flickered at her, mocking her now, and had set Adrien’s piano recording up with the speakers to give them the right atmosphere. It was perfect.  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s been nearly a year...” Marinette whispered, devastated. “We’re <em>engaged</em>. We have <em>a child</em>. And I still can’t... I can’t be touched?” She fretted, because if not now, when everything was perfect, then when? “Why am I still broken?” She mumbled, looking lost. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re not broken, Marinette.” Adrien whispered, rubbing her back as she calmed enough to be touched. “You’re scared and that’s understand...”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m NOT scared.” She growled indignantly. Adrien jumped at her tone. “A month ago we fought Hawkmoth and <em>won</em>. This makes no sense! I know he can’t hurt us. I know you’re really you! There’s nothing to be scared of!” Logically, he knew she wasn’t angry <em>at</em> him, but hearing her shout still made him nervous. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Sometimes... sometimes this stuff doesn’t make sense.” Adrien said gently. Marinette clutched the bed sheets to her, shielding her underwear clad body from his view. “It’s the first time we’ve tried... I mean... with all the Hawkmoth stuff... this is kind of the first time we’ve really been near each other since you found out who I am...” he explained carefully. Marinette glared at him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m fine with who you are.” She insisted. Adrien chewed his lip. He really wasn’t good with confrontation and she was on the defence. “I am! I’ve been in love with some version of you since I was thirteen, it’s not going to bother me now! Maybe it’s because Madeleine’s not close by and I’m anxious? Or... or because I’m still scared about the trial? Or maybe something to do with your mother being in the hospital and feeling like I’m letting her down by not having woken her up yet?” She babbled, trying to pinpoint a problem that she could solve. Adrien sighed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Or you’re trying to sleep with the man who attacked you, and you can’t logic your way out of that being a tricky situation.” He said pointedly. Marinette hesitated, crossing her arms across her chest before leaning into his.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“So... what... we can just never have sex because my brain’s not got the message that it’s safe?” She mumbled sadly. To her credit she sounded disappointed, so Adrien was confident that this time it was something she actually wanted and not something she was forcing herself through for his sake. Tracing his fingertips carefully down her arms he settled his head on her shoulder. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What I first said still stands. I will wait forever for you, without any qualms. But...”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“There’s always a but.” Marinette sighed softly. Adrien hummed, debating whether to suggest it or not before deciding that yes, now was the right time.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“If overcoming this is something you want to do, then there’s no miracle cure here. You... we... have to process what happened. Would you consider going back to therapy? With me?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Adrien...” she sighed. “I accidentally let you know I was Ladybug with that story, the whole thing falls apart the moment anybody examines your motive and...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Not you Marinette... you Ladybug. And me Cat Noir.” Plagg was healed, there was no reason he couldn’t transform. “I already looked into it and there’s an akuma specialist who works exclusively with couples or pairs as it’s always a memory loss thing...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“There’s therapists who specialise in akuma attacks?” Marinette asked, somehow surprised.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien nodded, his chin brushing her neck as he moved. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah. Alya recommended the branch and I found a couples one...” he said gently. “And we can do it without compromising our identities if we leave out Madeleine, and my father... which I’m already talking about with Adrien’s therapist....” he reminded her gently. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Because Adrien had finally checked in to therapy. With the media furore surrounding his father’s incarceration and his mother’s hospitalisation, it had been highly advised he seek counselling. And it helped. It did. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Because Adrien, independent of his night shifts as Cat Noir, had issues with his overprotective father having been a terrorist bent on retconning the world he’d created. With the information in the public domain, Adrien could rant all he liked to the stranger who listened to his tales of a paranoid father determined to prevent him from injury or illness (and didn’t that hit differently now, with his current suspicions?) by hiding him from the world until he became a commodity he could use. He could go over how terrified he’d been of losing his pregnant girlfriend. He could vent about feeling like he’d failed her somehow, in not protecting her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>There were still a lot of things he, as Adrien, couldn’t address, still things he wouldn’t be able to talk about even as Cat Noir. But most of those, he could discuss at home. With Alya or Nino, but mostly Marinette. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He could fondly recall his mother at home with Marinette, pouring over the photo albums and memories he’d acquired from the mansion, (boxes upon boxes of memories had been hidden away from his view and discovering who she had been outside of his child-like gaze was both fascinating and daunting, getting to know her all over again) he could honour her memory in his own time. His fiancée gave him sympathy and cuddles when he got emotional.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The therapist didn’t give him that: instead he gave him validation, hearing verbal confirmation that no, that wasn’t the right way to treat his son, and there was nothing anybody could have done to prevent Madeleine’s birth being traumatic, from an impartial party made a lot of difference. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>If the opportunity to rant and rave about his father had helped him, he hoped that giving Ladybug a chance to discuss her own tribulations would help Marinette. The woman in his arms squirmed, uncomfortable, but nodded in begrudging agreement: this had gone on long enough. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Okay.” She whispered. “We can try.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>—————</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ooookay so... first things first.” The woman said quite calmly. She had long curly hair, brown that was starting to naturally tinge grey with age, and a riotous cacophony of brightly coloured bracelets on both wrists. Ladybug and Cat Noir both sat politely opposite her. “My name’s Bonnie, but if you’re happier to call me Doctor Reynard, that’s fine too. Second of all: it’s an honour to finally meet you and I’m frankly surprised you haven’t wound up in my office sooner. Lastly... it would be incredibly unprofessional to make snap diagnosis based on the preliminary screening... however...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She produced a file: one Marinette had put together, detailing the entire story (minus Madeleine, and Hawkmoth being Cat Noir’s father, to protect their identities). Eighteen pages, double sided, with post it notes and page markers in varying colours to reference different sections. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“My first thought looking at this was: Anxiety disorder. Normally the brief we receive is... a paragraph or so long.” Connie said, her tone gentle. Cat Noir bowed his head at his fiancée, who looked nervous.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Was that... is that bad? I just thought... because it’s hard to explain things without risking giving too much away about our personal lives I figured it would be easier to have a hard copy and...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s not bad. There’s no judgement here. It’s actually very helpful for me to have such a... thorough account, so thank you, and if it’s helpful for you to not have to relay it then that’s fine. But overthinking, an obsession with planning... it can take over your life, Ladybug...” Connie smiled softly. Ladybug still felt like she was in trouble. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’ve read the file and I know your story.” She promised. “And having read it, my initial suspicion seems correct, there’s definitely anxiety issues to deal with, but... since there’s an event that triggered it, it’s a little different to a generalised anxiety disorder on its own. We’re going to start this session off by saying the words: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.” Connie said kindly. Confused, Ladybug and Cat Noir looked at each other before shrugging, saying, in unison: </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Post traumatic stress disorder.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Definition. Go.” Connie clicked her fingers, causing her bracelets to jangle. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s... what happens to your brain after you go through something bad...” Ladybug said carefully. Connie nodded.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Bingo. I feel confident enough to say that’s the case with you. You specifically mention your fears of an “inability to correctly identify threats”... that’s sort of what PTSD is all about. It alters your perception and drags you back to that state of panic. It’s why soldiers hear cars backfire and think they’re being shot at, it’s why car crash victims have vivid flashbacks of their accident when they watch hospital dramas, and it’s why your boyfriend touches you and you feel like you’re being attacked.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>So she had a name for what was wrong with her, but Ladybug wasn’t sure how that was supposed to help her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Cat Noir... you I’m less sure about. The file is largely Ladybug’s point of view on the situation, she mentions your guilt but... Can I ask how you, in your own words, feel about all of this?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I hurt her.” Cat Noir said quietly, tone tinged with shame. “So... yes I feel guilty about that but... also kind of... not. Which... weirdly makes me feel more guilty.” He admitted. “I got to sleep through the bad part and wake up with everything I ever wanted it’s like...” he glanced at Ladybug who nodded in understanding. <em>It’s the same way I feel about Maddy’s birth</em>. She gave him a gentle smile. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m not here to apportion blame or take sides.” Connie told them. “But you said it yourself - something bad happened to you. And I always give the same advice on this one: Hawkmoth was responsible that night. Your feelings were used against you - both of you. Neither of you were in the wrong to feel the things that lead to it, he was wrong to use them against you.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>——————</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s not a competition, Cat Noir.” Connie said. “You regularly deflect, saying that Ladybug was more affected by the assault than you were... that could well be true, but that doesn’t mean you weren’t affected. You are allowed to have thoughts on it, feelings about it.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>—————— </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I feel like I’ve regressed since the battle...” Ladybug confessed.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Since you found out who I am.” Cat Noir corrected. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well excuse me if I found fighting Hawkmoth more traumatic than finding out the man I used to love is the man I still love!” Ladybug snapped. Connie wrote something down in her notebook. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>—————</p>
</div><div>
  <p></p>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>The biggest breakthrough for Ladybug came several sessions in, but it wouldn’t hit her until later. When Connie commented on a clever piece of spell work Ladybug had used. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Whenever you try to say the other person’s civilian name...” Connie’s soft voice had been a comfort, in the earlier sessions. Now Ladybug found it slightly grating: it was the same way she talked to Madeleine and felt like she was being babied. She didn’t like it. “I hear nothing and bubbles appear.” </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“I already explained that,” Ladybug said exasperatedly. Within the confines of the office, neither could say the other’s real name, she’d got the ideas from the kwamis. “It’s to shield us from accidentally revealing our civili...”</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“I know.” Connie smiled. “But I wanted to point out that it’s happened several times now... but only for Cat Noir.” </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Cat Noir immediately looked guilty. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“She’s always been better at secrets.” He mumbled.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“No harm done.” Connie insisted. “But it’s quite telling for another reason. Do you know what compartmentalising is?” </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Yes.” They both answered. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“For you, Ladybug, it seems you’re very good at drawing a distinct line between Cat Noir and Ladybug, the heroes, and whoever you both are at home, under the masks...”</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Kind of how I’ve had to live my whole life so yes. I keep them separate.” Ladybug retaliated. She was a superhero... why was she being lectured for using the correct names? </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“Is that the same for you, Cat Noir? Are Ladybug and her alter ego two different people in your mind?” </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“I know he’s him!” Ladybug cut in. </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>“I was asking Cat Noir.” Connie spoke softly. </p>
  </div>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No. She’s the same person...” Cat Noir smiled. “Both of them sort of... mesh together in my head, that’s why I can’t get her name right. Spots or not she’s fiery, sweet, passionate, protective, talented... honestly it should have been obvious to me all along.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I think we’re getting somewhere.” Connie said decisively. “After you found out who he was, Ladybug, you didn’t have much time for it to sink in...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We pretty much went straight into battle after.” Cat Noir agreed.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I was relieved to know he was him!” Ladybug argued, becoming agitated. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“And that’s valid. I understand why that was such a weight off your mind... but it did change your dynamic and I’m not sure you’ve really processed that you’re in a relationship with Cat Noir as well as the man who wears the suit.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well apparently I’m lousy at processing.” Ladybug grumbled. She didn’t say much for the rest of the session. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>—————</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ladybug left each meeting exhausted from dredging it all up again and feeling like she wasn’t actually making any progress. She still couldn’t rise to the occasion, so to speak. Connie said in regards to sex (which, Ladybug still argued was her biggest reason for going to therapy, and Connie insisted was a symptom of a bigger issues), she was overthinking it, that excessively planning the perfect “first time” wasn’t helping, but spontaneity was rarely an option with a tiny baby who never received a mention in their sessions, due to identity issues with revealing they had a child. Letting Adrien take the lead wasn’t an option either because surprise sex with a traumatised fiancée was a bad idea on many levels. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Every session seemed to focus on her, and frankly she just felt attacked week after week. She didn’t like being so heavily analysed. The aftermath resulted in a one sided argument after every session, with Marinette being unusually short tempered at home and Adrien being oddly quiet. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Her realisation didn’t hit her until many sessions later, the bit about compartmentalising striking her at entirely the wrong moment. Cat Noir was mostly tight lipped, as usual, as Ladybug explained the rift between them developing at home, citing therapy as a negative affect on their home life. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“So you always argue after sessions?” Connie wondered, scribbling away. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We don’t argue.” Cat Noir said quickly, shaking his head. Which was true. They didn’t <em>exactly</em> argue. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No... mostly it’s just me snapping about things that don’t matter.” Ladybug admitted, having lost count of how many times she’d been inexplicably cross with him for feeding the wrong kwami or forgetting to start the steriliser. She always apologised but still; she felt lousy. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“And your temper after sessions?” Connie wondered. Cat Noir shrugged at the question. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m fine.” He murmured. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re not fine! This. This is what he’s like.” Ladybug sighed exasperatedly. “He’s quiet. Withdrawn. I think that’s half the reason I get so angry. You won’t talk to me.” Ladybug whispered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah well... that’s because if you knew half of what was going through my head you’d leave me.” Cat Noir closed his eyes. Ladybug faltered. She was tired, exhausted from rehashing the same things over and over, but she could hear the hurt in his voice. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Cat Noir... I wouldn’t leave you.” She protested. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“But you did!” He growled. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>His eyes snapped open, wide and suddenly scared. He hadn’t meant to raise his voice. Ladybug blinked.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I... I’m sorry.” He murmured, aghast at his outburst.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No... you’re right... I did leave you.” Ladybug mumbled. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Twice.” Connie said, checking Ladybug’s detailed (if slightly edited) file. “Would you like to talk about that, Cat Noir?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No.” He folded his arms. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You don’t want to talk about anything! What is the point of coming to therapy to talk about what happened to <em>us</em> if <em>I’m</em> the only one who has to talk!” Ladybug demanded - truly, she had had enough of therapy. She wanted to go home and cry and just continue to not deal with everything. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Because you were going through hell... I get why you left. You had every reason to leave! I shouldn’t be upset about it...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“And I shouldn’t be scared of Cat Noir... but here we are.” Ladybug said softly, and realised something as she said it out loud. She’d said Cat Noir where she could easily have said “you”. In that moment she saw him, despite his costume as the young boy who’d had everyone he ever loved leave him, as Adrien. And while she’d known for a while that they were one and the same, she’d still been drawing a line. Been keeping their stories separate. She wasn’t scared of Adrien. She still had issues with Cat Noir. Oh.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I can’t... I’m sorry. This was a bad idea.” Cat Noir murmured. “I’ll see you at home.” And without another word, Cat Noir took off out of the window. Connie hummed in thought but Ladybug settled back into her chair, comprehension dawning on her face. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I think... I just realised what my problem is.” She told the therapist. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>——</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien was in the living room when she got home, looking like he was in his usual post-therapy funk, curled up quietly on the sofa with Plagg on his lap. He looked up when she arrived, slightly surprised to see she was Ladybug, and not Marinette. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Came in through the craft room window. Nobody saw me.” She reassured, before looking around - there was no sign of their now four month old and she desperately wanted a cuddle before she had to do what she had to do. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Where’s Maddy?” She asked, trying to quell the worry. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Your parents took her out for a bit longer, they said they’ll be back at seven.” Adrien mumbled. Ladybug paused, nodding slowly. Okay. That was probably easier... </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Come with me. Plagg, you too.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She crossed to the bedroom and waited until, as expected, he followed close behind her. Because he was Cat Noir, and she knew that Cat Noir would always follow Ladybug, to the end of the earth... and that was half of the problem. He looked to her for guidance and she hadn’t been providing it. The realisation was grounding, and she lead him into the bedroom. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>One last demon to face. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Am I in trouble? They’ve only taken her to baby yoga... I thought it would be okay?” Ladybug kicked herself for two reasons - forgetting she’d agreed to let her parents take Madeleine to baby yoga for one, but mostly for not realising it before... how scared he still was that this would all fall apart around him. He was walking on eggshells and that was no way to live. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s fine.” She promised, sitting him down gently on their bed. “I just realised some stuff... there were things I never... things that you found out as Adrien that I should have told you as Cat Noir, things you needed to talk to Ladybug about that you couldn’t discuss with Marinette...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Why does that matter? We already know everything, right?” Adrien’s confusion was clear: were they still hiding things from each other? Well... aside from the big secret he was still holding on to. He couldn’t tell her that... but she had her business face on. He swallowed hard. Did she know? </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hm... yes and no. Could you just... humour me and transform?” Adrien glanced at Plagg who nodded, surprisingly quiet for him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Okay...” it was obvious he didn’t put much stock in the theory, but he’d try anything once. “Plagg... claws out.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>And Ladybug found it jarring. Despite knowing who he was, to see Cat Noir sat on Marinette and Adrien’s bed. And therein lay the biggest issue. She’d been in a relationship with Adrien, who she had believed a completely separate man. Months of having to keep her lives partitioned had relegated Cat Noir to being a dirty little secret, forced him to belong to her past instead of her present: knowing he was her fiancé, the father of her child, the man who had stood by her side through everything didn’t heal the disconnect. Now she had to amalgamate both of those men into one. And that meant her facing Cat Noir properly. It meant giving him a shot at explaining his feelings to Ladybug. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I have always viewed us as equals. As partners.” Ladybug told Cat Noir. “But... that wasn’t how it was for you, was it?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re kind of my boss...” Cat Noir agreed, squirming a little uncomfortably at the admission. Ladybug nodded.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“When I became the guardian... I sort of did become your boss. I never meant to but... I accept that I was in the position of authority. I mean I’ve always been kind of... bossy I guess but from that point on I was the one who had to be in charge of the kwamis, the spells, the miraculous and their holders, including you... it was a lot.” She took a shaky breath. “And then I left you. That can’t have been easy?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I know why you left though...” he sighed exasperatedly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“But you didn’t know. At the time you didn’t know. And that... anger? Or sadness? I’m not... I’m not really sure... but you still felt it.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“But it doesn’t matter now!” Cat Noir protested. He couldn’t be angry at her now, knowing what he knew. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“But it mattered <em>then</em> and I couldn’t deal with it. You couldn’t talk to me about it, you briefly talked to Marinette about it... tell me now. Yell at me if you want.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t want to yell at you.” He sighed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes you do.” Ladybug smiled. “It’s okay. Yell.”  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He didn’t yell. He did stand up, beginning to pace as he mulled it over. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You... you can just... walk away. Whenever you want.” He said eventually, circling the room. “I couldn’t stop you and I know now that I shouldn’t have stopped you, that you needed time away but... I... I lost my best friend. I lost the only person who’d ever understood. You were my boss but you never wanted to control me. You said you loved me and I believed you but then you just... left and I was... lost.” He breathed, feeling guilty for even saying it. She sat on the bed and watched him move, he was clearly agitated. She nodded slowly.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I get it.” She whispered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“But you don’t because you did it again. Things got hard and you just... you broke up with me.” He swallowed.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“In my defence that was Adrien, not Cat Noir... I’d only been with him for three months and I thought I was dragging him in to raising another man’s child... doesn’t excuse it... but I hurt you. Twice. And I’m sorry. I am. I’m not going to leave you again by choice.” She said genuinely. “The c-section... I nearly left you then too. That wasn’t my fault but I’m still sorry because I nearly left again, and neither of us could have stopped that.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I still have nightmares about you on that table, you were <em>cold</em>.” He shivered, even his comatose mother was warm to the touch. “But I know... I know you weren’t trying to leave that time. Still... dragged a lot of stuff up though.” He mumbled. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Anything else you wanted to tell Ladybug?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“My father is Hawkmoth.” He closed his eyes, turned his back on her mid pace. “My father is Hawkmoth.” He hissed, and she watched his gloved hand curl tightly, claws digging into his palm. “We’ve been fighting him all this time and I... He was in my house, Bug. I’m sorry I didn’t know.” Ladybug hummed.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Curious...” she said softly “Do you blame me for not knowing he was Hawkmoth?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What? No...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Because I missed it too. I suspected him, looked into it and then wrongly cleared him. By your own admission I was in charge so if it wasn’t my fault: it wasn’t yours either. The masks addle our brains, remember. You didn’t realise you were dating Ladybug. I didn’t realise I was living with Cat Noir. We don’t see these things where we’re not looking for them. You’re not to blame for not knowing who he was Cat Noir.” Cat Noir said nothing in reply. Somehow hearing it from Ladybug helped. “Keep going.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I think he’s doing it for my mother. And I want... I kind of want to forgive him for that because I miss her too, and I get it but... but... I can’t. He went too far. In his own words he went too far ages ago. He killed toddlers. He tortured teenagers. He assaulted you...”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Us.” She corrected. “But yes. He did horrific things. He went too far. That’s not your fault either. He made his own choices. And not forgiving him... that’s reasonable under the circumstances.” She promised him, hearing how conflicted he was. It was clearer cut for her: Gabriel wasn’t her father, understanding his motives didn’t make him less of a villain, but Adrien had loved him once and that muddied the waters. “You’re not obligated to forgive him just because he’s your family.” Cat Noir bowed his head but nodded, accepting that. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What else?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m dating that girl I love.” He whispered. He’d wanted to share that with her at the time, when in his head they’d still been separate people, he’d wanted to talk to his best friend about his love life. Ladybug tried not to laugh. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh really?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah. I want to tell you about her...” slowly, he turned so he was facing her. His eyes were wet, and she knew he’d been crying. Unafraid, Ladybug stood and wiped a tear from his cheek. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Then tell me, Chaton.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She’s been one of my best friends for years and then... on her eighteenth birthday... we danced. And I must have danced with her a dozen or so times before but... for some reason that day it was different. She was surrounded by everyone who loved her... everyone she loved... and I got to be part of that,” he sounded genuinely awestruck and Ladybug was amazed. “I’ve got to be part of that every year since she turned fourteen. She let me be part of that bubble and all I wanted to do in that moment was kiss her...” he whispered, not breaking eye contact with Ladybug as he spoke. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“But you didn’t...” she reminded him, curious. She’d sort of heard this story before, as Marinette, but not in such detail. Not with such honesty. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I didn’t. I was still in love with Ladybug and the urge to kiss Marinette was... honestly it was a little strange to me. She’s amazing. I’ve always known she was amazing but... I never wanted to kiss her until that moment so I thought... maybe it was just a brief moment? Maybe... maybe I was just lonely? Or caught up in the excitement of the party? Or just being y’know... a teenage boy swayed by hormones and a nice evening with a beautiful girl? Except that night... after I left the party... you, uh... Ladybug-you, called me. It was my night to patrol solo and you asked to tag along out of the blue...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It wasn’t out of the blue.” Ladybug told him, reaching up and cupping his face. “Sorry, I shouldn’t interrupt keep going.” She apologised and he smiled, content to continue. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hanging out on the rooftops in the moonlight with you... I realised that yes, I was still in love with you but,” he paused.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Kind of stupid now, in hindsight but I realised that night that I was never going to have that with you. I was never going to be part of that bubble with you, the friends and family one that Marinette let me in to. That... easy friendship. <em>Real</em> love. Being part of your life...” he laughed, despite the prior tears. “That’s the night I gave up on you.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah...” she conceded, noting that he’d finished making his point. “I got a little of that for Cat Noir when I started dating Adrien. But for the record, I called you that night <em>because</em> it was my birthday and I always arranged to spend time with you on my birthday, because you were already part of that bubble.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Every year. Think about it.” Ladybug giggled and, looking back, he realised she was right. Every year, since she turned fourteen (which admittedly been an akuma related thing), he had gone straight from Marinette’s party to a patrol - scheduled or not - with Ladybug.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It never felt right not seeing you for big days. Nineteen was the first one we missed and I hated myself for it.” She said gently. That surprised him. It predated her romantic feelings for Cat Noir by a long way. Oddly, knowing how much she had valued their friendship was sweeter than the first time she’d told Cat Noir she loved him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“But I was there.” He reminded her. She nodded. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Sort of.” She agreed. Because Adrien had been, but Cat Noir hadn’t. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“So yeah... I’m dating this amazing girl who I love more than I ever realised I could love someone... but she’s...” he chewed his lip, as though debating whether to say it. Ladybug stepped back to give him a little breathing room, suspecting this was another sad one. She was expecting the word ‘broken’ and steeled herself to hear it. Instead: </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She’s hurting and I don’t know how to help her, Bug.” He admitted. “She’s been treated badly... I want to help her. She jumps when I touch her, but she wants to be touched and... and I want to touch her but... it’s complicated. I’m worried that I’m pressuring her and I don’t want to do that. Some times it seems like she’s healing, like she’s moving on and other times we... we fool around and she cries after and I just... I feel like a monster for hurting her.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Sounds like the urge is there for you both.” Ladybug said quickly, detached as though discussing it with him as his friend and not the girl in question and then: “I felt dirty. That one time I cried after. We’ll get to me talking to Cat Noir later but for now... you did the right thing after, right? Let her come to you when she was ready?” She’d never meant to make him feel like he was the bad guy. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He thought about it and nodded. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah a couple of days later she jumped on me again... a lot more confident and didn’t cry after. So I figured... it was alright now? That far at least.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She went through something awful, Cat Noir. She’s a big girl, she made her own decisions to start a sexual relationship with you. How she manages her emotions after taking a step is... that’s her deal. I’m sure she’s trying, for both of you, not just for you. You didn’t apply too much pressure and you can’t keep blaming yourself for other people’s choices.” She promised him. Cat Noir’s shoulders slumped in relief. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I think... I think that might be everything.” He admitted. “I mean the baby away a whole... thing... but that’s... I did talk to you about her, as Ladybug and as Marinette.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You did.” She agreed. “No lingering issues there?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No.” He insisted, almost defiant. “I love my daughter, and I don’t regret her.” A momentary pause. “I did struggle with Marinette struggling.” He confessed. “I never thought you... she... this is really confusing.” He murmured.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I never thought Marinette was a bad person. I understood why she felt the way she felt but... I just didn’t feel that way. I loved the baby. The first few days after I found out she was pregnant I didn’t... but when I got over the shock... I knew I’d have moved mountains to protect my child, to love the baby the way a father should. I mean... not the way my father did, obviously. I was, a little hurt that you couldn’t... but I understood. I felt guilty for being happy over something that was making you so sad.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m sorry for hurting you.” Ladybug nodded. “I did get over that... pregnancy’s temporary.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I know.” He smiled softly, wishing Madeleine were home already, he desperately needed to hold her.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh and sorry. I wanted to say <em>sorry</em> for not telling you after I found out... that... that was partially to protect you. I didn’t want to hurt you but it... it was partially... largely I guess, cowardice. I thought you’d leave me again and I... didn’t want that.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah, I already forgave you for that the night you came clean. It’s okay.” She reassured him. “Same reason I didn’t tell Cat Noir what happened when he was akumatised.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well... on that note I think it’s your turn, Bugaboo.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I never liked Bugaboo.” Ladybug admitted, scrunching her nose.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Lies!” Cat Noir cried, affecting being mortally wounded, covering his heart and recoiling. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Goofball.” Ladybug laughed. “But I don’t like Bugaboo. I like being your lady.” She told him honestly. Hesitating he nodded, he could do that. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Okay.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ladybug took several deep breaths, chest rising and falling in time to a count that Adrien usually provided in moments of panic. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“From the beginning then. You were akumatised and we had sex.” She said it quite bluntly, but wrapped her arms around herself for comfort. A summary, not a complete going over.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m sorry. I’m sorry you lost your virginity like that. I’m sorry I might have ruined your chances with that girl by telling you. I’m sorry if knowing the truth, you go through the same issues I’m going through. I’m sorry Hawkmoth used you like that to hurt us. I’m sorry you weren’t in control. I’m sorry I didn’t realise you weren’t yourself because I <em>should</em> have realised. It’s my job to realise and I didn’t... I didn’t because I was selfish, because I really wanted to believe everything you said while you were under.” She babbled, taking a deep breath. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m sorry that, knowing what I know now, I believe Hawkmoth when he said you made your own choices. I know you don’t want to think of it that way... and it’s okay if you’d rather believe Hawkmoth forced your hand but... but it’s easier for me to think that you wanted to sleep with me and don’t remember it, than that Hawkmoth slept with me using a vessel.” She said, closing her eyes. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Cat Noir paused. He hadn’t thought of it like that. Of course that would be less traumatic for her, if it was true. And he had wanted her, unknowingly... it possibly was true. That the akuma had either robbed him of the veil that kept Marinette and Ladybug separate in his head, or that... he would have still slept with Ladybug given the chance. He’d have given up on Marinette if Ladybug had been more direct. There was a shame in that, somehow. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“But at the time I didn’t think that way. I do now. But at the time every time I looked at you after that night I... my heart raced. I either panicked or went into fight or flight mode, sometimes I flew and sometimes I fought. Both of those hurt you. I never meant for that to happen. I never blamed you. But when I realised my choices were to always be afraid of you, or to run away from you... I stayed away. So... I’m sorry for that. I missed you, Cat Noir.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>It was the last bit that hit him hardest. He already knew her reasoning for running away, had already forgiven her, even though it had hurt at the time. He hadn’t really known she’d missed him. She hadn’t talked about Cat Noir with Adrien much. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You... you lost your friend, your leader and you felt lost without that. But I never saw myself as your boss,” Ladybug sniffed “long before I developed romantic feelings for you - you became my partner, my equal, my other half. We have <em>always</em> been Ladybug and Cat Noir and if I’m not Ladybug I... I don’t feel whole without you.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I was so in love with you until that night. Complications of superheroes and everything. I loved you whole heartedly and that... it became tainted with fear and disgust and shame so quickly that it was easier to just... just not be Ladybug. To not be in love with you any more. I’m not really sure that’s how it works but... I’m stubborn so that’s what I’m trying.” She murmured. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“So... there’s this boy.” Cat Noir tried not to smile but Ladybug reached for him and tapped his mouth to remove the forming grin, shaking her head. It hadn’t been that clear cut at the time. “He’s the boy I told you about. The one I liked before you. He’s sweet. He’s nice. And he’s in to me now... because apparently that’s a recurring theme in my life. But I... I don’t think I can date him. Except I’m going to try anyway because I don’t want to hurt him by turning him down because I know how much it hurts to miss your chance.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Oh. That’s why she’d said yes. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Except... one date with him and I... it’s not about needing a nice, safe option any more. It’s not just about getting over you or giving him a chance. My heart got all fluttery, Cat, and I feel guilty because a few weeks ago I was so in love with you I was willing to throw caution to the wind on a rooftop in the middle of the city, and now I’m going heart eyed for the first boy to be kind to me? I feel like I’m betraying you, Cat Noir... but you’re with someone, you’re happy and I... I like him. I’m sorry.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re... sorry that you like me?” Cat Noir asked bewildered.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes! Because at this point in my head you’re two different people. And I feel like I’m cheating. I feel... I feel dirty.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ladybug...” Cat Noir began, mentally patting himself on the back for getting the name right.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I know. I know, but that’s how I felt. Except... bit by bit I’m feeling less like that. He’s helping me, Cat. I feel... I even feel sexy again sometimes.” The blush on her face was earnest. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“So I’m moving on Cat Noir.” She told him directly. “I’m sorry. I think... I think you’d want that for me? The chance for a do over? That chance to do it right this time? The whole love thing. The whole sex thing. God knows I want that for you, Kitty. So I’m moving on. I love him and I’m going to sleep with him in London and I don’t want to feel guilty for it.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ladybug bowed her head. For a moment Cat Noir thought she wasn’t going to continue but when she did her tone was weaker. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“But I did. I’ve been pushing all of it down, burying the guilt, the fear, the shame until it’s all sort of one big negative emotion that I can’t hide any more. Should be grateful Hawkmoth’s not around because I’d be a prime target. I can’t tell the emotions apart any more. Adrien touched me and I felt your gloves. Your claws. It all bubbled over and I couldn’t breathe.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Mari...” Cat Noir said gently. “I was there for this, if it’s too painful you don’t have to...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I do. I do have to because I didn’t at the time. I don’t understand why I’m so scared of sex because the sex part... You didn’t hurt me. I mean... okay a little, you have sharp claws but during the actual sex... You weren’t threatening. I... I enjoyed myself and does that make me an awful person? I think so... because you didn’t agree to it and it wasn’t you. I didn’t agree to it. But... but there we go. I’m scared of sex apparently, even though it wasn’t the sex that was scary.” She sighed.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“And Adrien’s lovely about it. More understanding than I expected. He forgives me, even though I punched him. I actually punched a civilian, Cat Noir: what the hell is wrong with me?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.” Cat Noir pointed out softly. She nodded.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“That. Yeah.” She whispered. “I’m not dealing with it very well, keeping that big ball of negative emotions locked up but... but Adrien’s amazing. I don’t doubt that I love him, but I’m beginning to doubt that I ever really loved you because it’s so different and I feel awful for that too. Being able to talk to him about personal problems... it’s... so different. And that’s half of my problem. I can’t trust myself any more. I can’t trust my judgement. I can’t trust my own feelings. I don’t feel like I deserve him. He deserves better than me like this... this... broken, warped version of myself. But he loves me anyway.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re not broken.” He reminded her.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s how I felt.” She shrugged. “And that only got worse when...” she took a deep breath to get herself back in the moment, talking about it like it was still happening. “I think I might be pregnant. And I’m an idiot because how could I not have considered that possibility? We did <em>not</em> plan to have sex, we did <em>not</em> use a condom... yes, I took my pill, but it just... I didn’t even think about it until a reporter took a shot at my figure. Ouch by the way. And I’m scared and I want you.” Ladybug tried to remember to breath, speaking quickly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“But I have Alya. I don’t want to put it on Adrien so... Alya. She holds my hand, she promises it’s okay... but all I can think of is you. How I <em>have</em> to tell you the truth now and I’m... ashamed to. But the tests were negative so... I worried over nothing. And I’m worrying over everything lately, Cat... I feel like I can’t calm down...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Cat Noir nodded slowly. He hadn’t been with her through this, Adrien had been on the outside and he knew she was letting him in completely now: to all sides of it. The good and the bad. It was only hearing her say it that he understood how much all this was still weighing on her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Except the tests were wrong and I found out in hospital that I am. And Adrien is... well, he’s clearly insane.” She laughed, shaking her head and finally slowing down. “He says we can get married and is planning for a nursery... like it’s not a big deal that I am having your baby. I’m... I’m having your baby and I... I don’t want to.” She whispered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ladybug closed her eyes tightly, shaking her head. Out of everything that no longer felt valid, her reaction to finding out she was having Madeleine felt the strangest to relay after the fact when so much had changed since. The little girl was their world, both of them adored her and Ladybug couldn’t ever imagine not loving her so intensely... but she hadn’t. She hadn’t been happy. She stood by their decision to leave Madeleine out of their therapy sessions: telling anyone Cat Noir and Ladybug had a daughter was just too much of a giveaway, but there was still such guilt there for how she’d initially felt. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t love her, Cat Noir. I don’t want her. Everyone’s planning for a baby and I’m just... scared. Half of me wants to track you down and just... leave her on your doorstep or something because I know you’d be better at this than me. You could throw a rock out of the window and hit someone who would cope better with a baby than I would right now... but I do want to protect her. I... I owe it to her and I owe it to you. But... I feel like a monster.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You told me that...” Cat Noir said gently.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I did. But only after I got back together with Adrien and got myself settled. He’s... I want him. It’s that simple. I love him and I don’t want to be without him. I don’t want to drag him in to all my drama but I want him and he’s willing to put up with it because he loves me too... but I feel guilty. I feel like I’m dragging him down and I feel like I’m... taking something away from you. Again. I took so much from you and... and he wants to raise your daughter as his own...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ladybug froze for a moment before shaking her head.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“But before all that... before I got back together with him I wanted you. Not... not romantically. Just. I wanted to tell you and I couldn’t. It was weird because when I was choosing not to tell you it was different. I knew that if I went to you at that point... I’d be in danger. The baby would be in danger. I’d already failed to protect you from Hawkmoth...”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“How did you fail?” He asked, bewildered. She’d had nothing to do with the butterflies.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I left. Hawkmoth knew who you were and I left you, Cat Noir. That ate at me. If anything had happened to you... you were right... I should have told you who I was. I should have given you a way to contact me outside of the mask for your protection not because of London. I should have said... I should have... I was supposed to be a guardian and I let you down.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She was shaking and he had to pause her story to wrap his arms around her, noting she didn’t flinch or shy away from him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I wanted to tell you everything. I wanted you involved with your daughter. I wanted to tell you...” she mumbled into his chest. “I wanted to tell you... Tikki, spots off.” He held her tight as the pink light stripped her of her costume and left her in the summery pink sundress she’d worn earlier that day. “My name is Marinette Dupain-Cheng, and we’re having a little girl.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Thank you.” Cat Noir mumbled into her hair, kissing the crown of her head softly. It was far too late now, but hearing her say it was comforting. That she’d wanted to trust him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Tikki hovered, shot them a slightly confused look, before zipping away through the door. Cat Noir rubbed her back. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I cried the first time Adrien really touched me not because I didn’t want to but because I didn’t feel... right. Cat Noir’s baby was literally kicking me throughout the whole thing and I got so wrapped up in the moment that I didn’t care. I was enjoying myself. And the first time I let that happen I wound up in that state. Please don’t think you pressured me. I wanted to do everything we did. I want to do so so much more.” She breathed, not moving away from his chest, inhaling the smell of leather. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Question...” she wanted to distract herself for a little while before she got back to what felt like yet another exhausting reliving of everything they’d endured so far. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Shoot.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Did you really ask Plagg if your claws can tear my suit?” She whispered. Cat Noir tensed.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m going to kill him for telling you that.” He muttered, embarrassed. Marinette laughed. “In my defence I was sixteen and having a LOT of dreams I... hormones are a thing and I... agh. I’m sorry.” He groaned, clearly flustered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Plagg didn’t tell me. You did. The night you were akumatised. Just... wanted to know if that much was true.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah. Not proud of it but yeah...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I thought about that too. Don’t worry.” She soothed him. After the fact she’d asked Tikki about it (as Cat Noir had told her that night, the kwamis were cool with it). </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“At the hospital when she was born... I kept taking her to the window, hoping to see you...” she confessed.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah... I know. Adrien caught you.” He chuckled. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Don’t you laugh at me.” She huffed. “I felt like I was having an affair! I wanted to marry Adrien. I loved Adrien. But all the time we were in hospital I just... wished you were there.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I think part of the reason I was so relieved - because I honestly was - when I found out you were you was... admitting to myself that I hadn’t got over you. You said it was like... seeing the bigger picture, the more complete version? Everything suddenly made a lot of sense. I didn’t feel like I’d betrayed Cat Noir by just leaving that life behind and I didn’t feel like I was cheating on Adrien by still thinking of you so often, even though those thoughts weren’t romantic.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I felt like I was cheating on Marinette...” he mumbled. “Before anything even happened with me and her... it took Ladybug sort of... abandoning me for me to get the courage to ask her out because I felt like part of me would always love you.” He whispered. Marinette paused.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“That’s... pretty much what you told me that night. That you’d never have truly been faithful...” she said gently. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Maybe I was more in control than I’d like to admit.” Cat Noir sighed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Maybe.” She agreed, more comforted by that thought than he was. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Pulling out of his arms she looked at him, assessing him critically. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m not scared of you. I’m really <em>really</em> not. I don’t think it was fear standing in my way... I think it was guilt for not... for not being honest with Cat Noir. That’s what was stopping me. All those emotions got so muddled and... Cat Noir, I’d really like to kiss you right now.” She told him genuinely. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>There was something a little strange about it, for both of them. She wasn’t in her costume, she was Marinette: designer, mother, fiancée, and he was in his, Cat Noir: hero, follower, mystery. It felt like one of them ought to change. Still, he obliged all the same, dipping his head to capture her lips with his. Half expecting her to jump, or punch him even, he was relieved when she didn’t. Instead she relaxed, letting her arms find their way around his shoulders, deepening the kiss of her own volition. Not so much as a blink or a gasp when his paws settled at her hips. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I love you.” She murmured honestly, when they parted. “And it doesn’t matter to me which way round this goes but we are having a do over and we have a whole hour before Maddy’s due home. Would you prefer your first time to be with Marinette? Or Ladybug?” She asked, tilting her head in curiosity. Her mind was made up. She didn’t want to second guess herself or overthink it this time. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“All the same to me.” He whispered, surprised as she took his hands and lead him to the bed. “Adrien or Cat Noir?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Well... either’s fine. But after all <em>that</em>, I kind of want you to show me those claws of yours don’t have to hurt.” She smiled at him, bright and cheerful, the back of her knees hitting the mattress and she tumbled backwards. He blinked.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re sure?” He whispered, setting his knee beside her hip and leaning in. Marinette nodded. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Completely.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No music? No candles?” He wondered, plucking curiously at the shoulder strap on her dress. <em>Beautiful, one of her own, do not tear </em>he thought. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I never needed any of that. All I needed was you.” She whispered. “No more secrets. No more regrets. Well... okay I do kind of wish I was wearing matching underwear but hey, you win some you lose some.” Her giggle was relaxed, genuine. She was completely calm... </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Cat Noir’s heart raced. As beautiful as ever, Marinette lay propped up on her elbows, in a pastel pink sundress of her own design, looking relaxed and carefree and more herself than ever. She was ready and he’d never wanted her more, body already getting ahead of himself with his suit tightening at the reality of her willing and at ease... except... No more secrets. No more regrets. That just wasn’t true. He bowed his head, letting his forehead rest on her shoulder. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I can’t.” He whispered, voice cracking. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh? That’s fine! You can change clothes if you’re more comfortable as Adrien!” She insisted quickly, not wanting him to think she had a particular preference. When he didn’t raise his head she sat up a little more. “What’s wrong?” She asked, bewildered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I... I can’t believe I’m even saying no here...” he groaned. This was what they’d both wanted. He could have her, there and then, but he couldn’t  without a clean conscience. “But you’ve... you’ve been so honest and... and I can’t... we can’t do this if I’m not and... I don’t think I’m...” he broke off. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Chaton... Adrien... it’s okay.” She soothed, fingers winding lightly into the hair at the back of his scalp. “Talk to me.” She urged. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He gave a deep, shaky breath against her collarbone before he pulled away, avoiding her sympathetic gaze. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Plagg, Claws in.” He whispered. A flash of green light and he was Adrien once more. “Can... can you go find Tikki? I have to talk to Marinette alone.” The heaviness of his tone made Marinette nervous. What more was there left to confess? An affair maybe? Oh no. Oh no, what if he’d cheated on her because he’d been swayed by someone who would have sex? Her heart hurt as her mind conjured up worst case scenarios of mystery women who weren’t broken or damaged or... then he spoke. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I... I think I might be a sentimonster.” He croaked.</p>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>On the bright side...at least he’s not having an affair? </p>
<p>But look at my boy! Look at him now, actually talking about a problem and not burying it! That’s growth!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Chapter 24</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Discovering what really matters</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div>
  <p>The words rang in her ears and she blinked several times to try clear her head. Adrien couldn’t meet her eyes, clearly ashamed. Bizarrely her first thought was: <em>well, at least he’s not been having an affair. </em></p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What... what makes you think you’re a sentimonster?” Marinette asked gently. Adrien moved off of the bed, putting distance between the two of them and wrapping his arms around himself. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Something my father said, when you were unconscious during the battle... he said... he said I was the best thing my mother ever created.” Every word seemed to leave him colder as he admitted his darkest fear to Marinette. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Did... I not create Madeleine? Didn’t my mother create me?” Marinette asked, curious as to why the phrasing irked him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It wasn’t like... it was the <em>way</em> he said it. And my mother held the peacock... I’ve seen Nathalie make sentimonsters that look human. And they were both always so scared of me getting hurt when I was little! Every scraped knee, every broken bone, every time I tried climbing a tree... I must have been hurting my mother too.” He trembled. Marinette was on her feet before he finished his sentence, arms wrapped tightly around him. Because it <em>would</em> make sense. It wasn’t an irrational fear, it was a highly possible situation. And yet, she didn’t panic. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m not real, Marinette.” He breathed into her hair, and she felt the tears falling into her parting. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Now that’s just ridiculous. Senti... not a monster... you’re not a monster. Senti-whatever or not, you’re <em>real</em>. You’re here. I love you.” She reminded him firmly. He’d told her often enough. Adrien said nothing. Marinette held tight, stroking his back and settling her head on his chest. Her mind was racing with a dozen thoughts all trying to climb to the forefront. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She knew Adrien. Kind, selfless, a little insecure, very protective. He wasn’t a monster, by any stretch of the imagination, but he might be something magical... and truthfully she didn’t <em>care</em> if he was or not, half of her life was magical after all, but she wasn’t quite able to explain why it didn’t bother her. Perhaps it should? Maybe she was supposed to be affected? She wasn’t. She understood why it would bother him but couldn’t alleviate that worry without answers she didn’t yet have. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Her biggest concern, above it all, was his feather - if Adrien’s existence was a result of the peacock miraculous, there had to be a feather and if it fell into the wrong hands... the thought of Gabriel manipulating him, even from prison was petrifying. Answers were needed. Her first port of call would have to be Duusu, but the kwami was infamously very protective of former holders. She might not be willing to part with the information. Nathalie would be a possibility, she was currently in a high dependency hospital unit with a full time prison guard. Talking to her would be difficult. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The last viable option on her list was Gabriel himself. Emilie would know, but Marinette’s spell work and research had so far come to nothing, with Adrien’s mother still unconscious despite her attempts. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’ll find out for you.” Marinette promised him, in full Ladybug mode in that moment. She was Ladybug and he was Cat Noir and they didn’t face problems like this alone any more. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No, this... Bug, this is the part where you leave.” He mumbled dejectedly. He didn’t feel he could ask her to stand by him now. Everything they’d been through, everything they’d endured and now she was going to have to live with a monster? He didn’t want to tie her to that. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Nope.” She popped the p. “I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me.” Marinette insisted, stubborn to the end.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m not even HUMAN, Marinette!” He said, desperate for her to understand. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I DON’T CARE!” She had raised her voice to meet his volume, but softened it when she spoke again. “I don’t care how you came into this world, Adrien. It’s not something I’ll ignore because it’s upsetting you and I won’t stand for that, and there’s a potential threat of your feather falling into the wrong hands but however you were born, you’re still you. You’re still the man I fell in love with: twice. You’re still the father of my child. You’re still the man I’m going to marry.” Marinette’s voice was firm. Her sentiments didn’t land and she could see it in his expression. Gently she kissed his cheek. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Do you trust me?” She asked. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes.” He didn’t hesitate to answer that one. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Then believe me when I say I’m <b>not</b> leaving you, but I need like... half an hour to fix this. Is that okay?” She asked him hopefully, brain whirring into gear. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I...” she was leaving him alone? He couldn’t exactly say ‘no’. What did she mean by fix it? Did he have to go through some kind of magical test? Was there even one? “Yes, but why?” He asked, bewildered.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m Ladybug. I always have a plan!” Marinette grinned, kissing his cheek and hurrying out of the bedroom into her craft room. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien, a little confused, curled up in their bed, lamenting ruining their tryst before it had even begun. <em>Me and my big mouth. Couldn’t just stay quiet? No... couldn’t have. She deserves to know who... or what... she’s building a life with...</em> He began to worry why she’d reacted so positively. Maybe she’d climbed out a window with the miracle box and was intending to flee the country? To put as much distance between herself and her daughter and the monster she’d fallen in love with. He buried his head in the pillow. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“There we go. Done in twenty.” Marinette chirped when she returned. She had hoped he would have sought Plagg or Tikki out for a chat but he didn’t appear to have moved from the bed. At least he’d told her eventually but she wished he’d talk more, clearly this had been a weight on his mind. Proudly, Marinette held up two folders: because she just wouldn’t be Marinette if she didn’t plan to excess.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She tossed the first one on the bed and climbed in beside him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“The printer actually behaved itself for once, so it didn’t take quite as long as I’d thought. Duusu did not co-operate but you win some you lose some I guess. I’m sorry I left the room but you needed reassurance and I have it right here. When I was first... when we first got together you printed off a list of things that might help me. That’s still one of the nicest things that anybody has ever done for me, and it’s time I returned the favour.” She pointed at the folder and, feeling as though his arm were made of lead, he opened it to the first page. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>An entire A4 page full of baby photos. He frowned in confusion. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Mari, if this is your way of telling me you want another baby, we’re going to have to discuss your timing...” he said warily. She rolled her eyes. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Can you tell me...” she said gently, gesturing at the collage. “Which of these babies were created ‘naturally’?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No.” He admitted, confused. Was one of them him? There were at least twenty small babies on the page, different ethnicities, ages, and sexes, but they all just looked like babies except... “That’s Maddy.” He said, tapping one of the photographs decisively. The picture was heavily cropped but he recognised his own daughter in the crowd of tiny faces. One of the pictures Alya had taken for the birth announcement. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette nodded and pointed at a little boy, clad in a dark green onesie and sucking on a dummy that looked far too big for his face. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Max Kante was “created” through artificial insemination. He was born to a single mother, who used a medical facility to ensure she had a child.” She told Adrien gently. “These two... Ella and Etta Cèsaire. Alya’s parents wanted another but couldn’t conceive a third time. They were the result of IVF.” She smiled gently at her partner. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“That’s medical stuff, Marinette it’s not the same...” he sighed exasperatedly. Marinette continued, unperturbed by the interruption, tapping photos as she went. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Clomid. Adoption. Another IVF. IUI. Surrogacy...” she told him with each child’s photo she indicated. “And an akuma attack,” she whispered, stroking her daughter’s picture “combined with a broken miraculous.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien paused. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Is she real, Adrien?” She asked him gently. “She wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for magical <em>and</em> medical intervention...” Marinette told him, her voice level. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We still had sex.” He said pointedly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Half of these children’s parents didn’t. And not to gross you out but I’m pretty sure your parents were getting it on, regardless of how you were conceived.” Her no-nonsense tone didn’t leave room for argument. “All of these children are very, very much loved, regardless of how they were ‘created’. All of them were born, one way or another.” She whispered, turning the page. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The second page was an older photograph, scanned from one of the photo albums he’d salvaged from the house. Bewildered he looked at the photograph of his mother and aunt, both in long floaty dresses and sun hats, each beaming proudly for the camera. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“That’s your aunt Amelie, and your mother... that’s Felix...” she pointed at the pronounced bump, visible under Amelie’s dress. “And that’s you...” Adrien peered closer at the photograph, seeing the barest hint of a bump that could have been a baby bump, but could also have been an unflattering angle. “The dates add up. She’d have been about four months pregnant.” Marinette told him. She flicked the page again, and it was a drawing this time. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien froze. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I drew that...” he murmured. Sure enough a child’s clumsy crayon doodle of his family labelled ‘Adrien, age 3’. Mother, father, and himself. Marinette nodded. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You did. There’s whole boxes in there with childhood memories. You had a childhood Adrien. You were carried for nine months and born to parents who loved and wanted you. <em>If</em> your mother used Duusu to create you, it was to ensure a pregnancy, not to create a child - this isn’t an Athena thing. You didn’t leap fully grown from your father’s forehead. There’s nothing here to indicate you were made by magic but <em>if</em> you were... it’s no different than Max or Ella or Etta. A child born of magic, medical intervention or conceived naturally... is still a child.” She said softly, laying her head on his shoulder and flipping to the next page in the first folder. A copy of his birth certificate. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Born on the eighteenth of October, weighing seven pounds and three ounces and given a stupidly long name.” She teased. “For once the media obsession with your life pays off, you can literally Google your parents’ names and find pictures of you coming home from the hospital.” She said gently, turning the page and showing him an old photograph of Gabriel - looking much younger, carrying a car seat with a newborn baby in it. Gabriel’s free arm was around the waist an exhausted looking Emilie. “That looks like recovery to me.” She told him. Emilie looked worn out, frail, smiling through the pain of walking so soon after giving birth. Marinette knew that look well. Super woman. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette smiled handing him the second file. There was a single page in it. Another drawing, this one unfamiliar. Sketched expertly in coloured fine liners, a stretch of pavement. Between the cracks, a small red flower emerged. It took him a moment but when he understood Adrien was unable to vocalise the surge of love he felt for her in that moment. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I told you once, with a terrible awkward analogy, that a flower that grows in the pavement is still a flower, regardless of how it got there. Still beautiful. Still a flower. I haven’t changed my mind on that, Adrien. However you came to be, you’re still you. I still love you... and if you can’t love yourself right now I’ll just have to love you enough for the both of us.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Marry me.” He murmured, fascinated by her ability to set him at ease. She hadn’t provided answers because she couldn’t give him those: not yet, but she’d somehow made something that had felt so horrific, the biggest shame he’d ever kept secret, into something that just <em>didn’t</em> matter. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I already said yes!” Marinette laughed, showing him her engagement ring in case he’d forgotten.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I know I mean... a date. We should set a date.” Adrien whispered, fingers brushing her drawing in quiet awe. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Whenever you’ll have me.” Marinette reassured, cuddling into his side and his arm settled around her waist. “Every day, I am grateful for Madeleine, however she happened. If you’re magical... so be it.” She shrugged. “I’ll be grateful for you too, either way.” She kissed his shoulder and somehow he believed every word. It didn’t matter to her. She loved him regardless and his brain finally calmed down. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien checked his watch. Seventeen minutes left until Marinette’s parents would return with Maddy. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Guess I kind of blew our baby-free time, huh?” He apologised. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Eh, it was your turn - makes up for all the times I blew it, we’re all entitled to an existential crisis now and then. Just don’t... don’t sit on problems like this, Adrien. You’ve been worried about this for months, all on your own. This isn’t your father’s house, you’re allowed to talk about something if it’s bothering you.” She settled her head on his chest and he stroked her hair softly. “I’m here.” She promised.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah, I know.” He sighed softly, squeezing her hip lightly. “Old habits I guess...” he chewed his lip for a moment. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>With the problem seemingly insignificant now (how? How had she done that? It had been eating him up for months and suddenly <em>Marinette</em>), he lamented missing out earlier: her breakthrough ought to have been a momentous occasion and his mind had got in in the way. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>They didn’t have time to have sex, not really, they had to factor in the risk of a panic, and the off chance they’d be home early... plus he actually had to figure out how to work a condom. Why did health class in high school feel like an eternity ago? Would calling Nino at some point and asking for advice be considered oversharing? They <em>might</em> have time for something else though... assuming she was still on board. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“On the subject...” he whispered in her ear, adopting a tone he hoped was seductive “of returning favours... there is something I’d like to do for you...” carefully, the arm he’d wrapped around her waist skimmed her side. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hm?” She tilted her head up, confused until his fingertips reached the hemline of her dress and  she saw the curious expression on his face. She nodded her consent, giving him permission to touch. Peacock miraculous or not: he was her fiancé, the love of her life and she was no less in love with him with the possibility on the table that he was somehow magical.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>His fingers ghosted across her bare thigh, inching the fabric of her dress a little higher, moving slowly until he was certain she was clear of his intentions. When no protest came, he let his hand continue the path upward, stroking higher and higher up the soft skin of her inner thigh until her legs parted a little to give him further access. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I know you wanted Cat Noir...” he purred in her ear, more than a little turned on by the potential dynamic rebalance. “But I don’t want to go fetch Plagg right now. Would it help if I call you Princess?” It was his tone that made her shiver as two fingers pressed against her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You can call me whatever you like, Adrien.” Marinette quipped, jolting a little as he pushed aside the barrier of her underwear. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Just not Bugaboo?” He reminded her, nipping the shell of her ear and running his fingers tentatively across the length of her slit, earning another contented shiver. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Whatever you like,” she laughed “and I want all of you.” She corrected, making her status clear. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Is that so...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Her head fell back against his shoulder, losing herself in the touch as careful fingers massaged and pressed. He’d touched her there before, a few times, but not in a small eternity and her body seemed to come alive with every flick of his wrist. Vaguely she wondered if she ought to be embarrassed by her oversensitivity, already wet and squirming delightedly under his fingertips, but reasoned that wasn’t exactly the same issue for women as it was for men and they were on the clock. She gasped when a slick digit pressed inside her and arched her back, wanting more. He kissed her exposed throat, gently at first, then, sensing no objection, with little more pressure, gently sucking a bruise onto her skin. It made her dizzy, knowing he’d left a mark. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The angle couldn’t be comfortable for him, reaching around her the way he was, but he made no attempt to move her, so she moved herself, rolling backward and pulling him on top of her.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hi.” She whispered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hi...” he seemed a little startled by the new position, knowing she’d previously taken issue with being pinned but the expression on her face was driven by want. All the more beautiful for a lack of fear on her features, Adrien was emboldened. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“By all means, continue.” Her sudden action had pulled his hand away from her but he didn’t return to his position, instead he shuffled down and lifted her skirt a little, raising an eyebrow. Marinette nodded and Adrien slid her underwear down and off. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>If there was a moment her nerves were going to kick in, that was it. With her dress up and underwear absent, she was laid out before him. He’d touched her before, but she’d never been so on display within his memory. Within a brief moment she determined her heart wasn’t racing in panic but arousal as he appraised her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He ran both sets of fingertips up from her knees to her hips and lowered his head, kissing her abdomen. For a moment she was confused: if <em>that</em> was what he was going for (she had thought he was intending to use his tongue... and wasn’t that thought dizzying?) surely he ought to be a little lower? He continued all the same, it took her a moment to realise he was gently mouthing along the path of her scar, reverently placing kisses over the white line. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Four months post partum and she still considered her body to be a work in progress, she’d initially been hoping to regain her old figure, but now the reality was working on accepting herself the way she was. Stretch marks, scar, broader hips and all. Not wrong. Not bad. But different. Adrien didn’t seem to mind one bit, and that was soothing. Her confidence was a little knocked, true, but with him practically worshipping her she felt more relaxed with the changes. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Gently, his hands ran back down her thighs to her knees and pressed lightly, encouraging her to spread herself properly. With a shaky breath, she complied, legs falling open obediently. She quite liked him being in charge. <em>Control issues</em> she reminded herself, but it was the last coherent thought she had as he whispered</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I can’t see your face so tap me if it gets too much,” as an instruction, and his kisses trailed promisingly lower down. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Oh.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>For a split second she wasn’t sure if she liked it: the sensation of his mouth where it had never been alien to her, nothing like fingers, nothing like toys, and Adrien a little unsure of what he was doing. He kissed open mouthed along her folds and licked her from her entrance to her clit but the moment he zeroed in on that she was sold. New. Different. Not bad. A breathless gasp from her as he flicked his tongue left to right, splaying her pussy open with the V of two fingers. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Figuring it out as he went, and unable to use her expression as a guide, he revelled in every murmur and mewl of pleasure she offered, changing techniques a little too often to try find one that made her scream in ecstasy the way she did so often in his memory. Circles seemed to do the trick, with his tongue in a tense point, feeling her quiver beneath him every time he executed that particular move. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He genuinely wanted to spend hours doing this, figuring out what made her tick, exploring her without the weight of lies and secrets crushing their fun, but they had a short time to work with and she twitched and writhed with every lick. Briefly he wondered if he was supposed to enjoy the idea of keeping her on that dizzying precipice, or if that was some kind of cruelty. Instead he began in earnest, putting getting her off at the forefront of his mind, behind the wonder of being allowed to touch her, to taste her so freely. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He eased a finger inside her, tongue circling her clit the way he’d worked out she responded best to, followed it with a second finger and started pumping them both slowly in and out of her. Whimpering, her hips rose off the bed, trying to get closer to the dual sensations. He curled his fingers inside her and she squeaked. Adrien wasn’t convinced he’d ever been as turned on as he was in that moment. Tongue and fingers sped up, working in tandem to try bring her to the peak.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Desperate, writhing, so close but not quite there Marinette struggled to try verbalise what she needed. His ministrations were driving her wild but they were so light and overly cautious they came across as teasing, serving to soak his fingers and drive her to distraction, but not tip her over the edge. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Har...” she panted. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hm?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Harder.” She whispered, almost ashamed of the request. Adrien didn’t hesitate, tongue pressing down on the sensitive nub with each rotation, working her clit just that bit more firmly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Everything tingled and Marinette swore she could see stars, her fists clenching in the bedsheets and back arching. Adrien, spurred on by the reaction, upped the pressure until she trembled beneath him and tightened around his fingers. The noise from his earlier memories of touching her rent the air as Marinette screamed, overwhelmed with sensation as an orgasm coursed through her. He was slightly surprised to note the change in how her slick skin tasted beneath his tongue with it, that her clit quite literally pulsed, but undeterred all the same he kept the pressure on until she fell back to the bed shaking and breathing heavily. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Raising his head and sliding his dripping fingers free of her body he was awestruck by the sight of her. Chest heaving, face flushed, completely and utterly blissful on their bed. He grinned. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You okay?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh my god,” Marinette moaned, still twitching. “Why haven’t we been doing this the whole time?” She breathed, eyes fluttering closed. Adrien laughed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Any time you want.” He promised, meaning it whole heartedly. She was always stunning, but sated like this she was ethereal. She pouted, her lip rouged from biting it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Right now, if I had my way, but they’re due back in...” she yawned as Adrien checked his watch. Three minutes past seven. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“About now.” He confirmed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Reluctantly, Marinette sat up. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Where’d my underwear go?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Uhm... somewhere...” for a moment they each looked around before Marinette wrote it off as a lost cause, finding a new set in the drawers as the doorbell rang. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I should go let them in, you...” she looked at him for a moment, still beaming proudly as she slipped a clean set on under her sundress “brush your teeth before you greet anyone.” Adrien smirked. Okay, fair. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He returned from the bathroom to find Marinette carrying Madeleine while Sabine folded the stroller and Tom gestured emphatically. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She’s the star student! Can you believe my grand daughter, everyone said how amazing she was!” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s baby yoga, papa.” Marinette laughed, there wasn’t much to excel at. She’d tried her hand at taking Madeleine to a few of the ‘baby and me’ classes but the fame issue had been catapulted by the ongoing trial. It was hard to engage in the sessions with people whispering about her and paparazzi waiting outside, so she had given her parents permission to take her instead, nobody paying them much mind with Madeleine’s youth giving her anonymity. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She cycles better than all the other babies! I’m telling you she’s a genius.” Tom insisted, laying her blanket out on the floor. “Why don’t we show maman just how well you cycle?” Marinette laughed, giving the bewildered tot a cuddle just a little longer before looking at Adrien. It had been a long day and after being laid bare emotionally and physically, she was exhausted - all she wanted was to cuddle her child, she could only assume it was the same for him but he smiled. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’ll wait my turn.” He said gently, pleased by Tom’s overzealous pride in the little girl. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Cycling” in regards to baby yoga, was Tom placing his palms against her feet and encouraging the baby to roll her legs in the air. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“He was like this with you too.” Sabine whispered at Marinette as she watched. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Can’t blame him.” Adrien whispered, fascinated.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette’s family had always made him feel welcome. Hell, everyone around her being so involved and tight knit had been what opened his eyes to being in love with her in the first place. Still, watching Tom coo over his daughter, while Sabine and Marinette stood aside giggling at the sight, he realised he’d crossed another line. No longer Marinette’s “friends and family bubble” but her actual family. He was part of this. He really wished he hadn’t passed up on that chance to hug Madeleine a little earlier, because he wanted her in his arms at that moment. The startling clarity of it all settling into place. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He had a home. He was loved. He had a family. However it had happened, he was happy. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I see you two enjoyed our trip out.” Sabine said gently. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hm?” Marinette asked, barely looking up from the sight of her father coddling the baby. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“A little foundation should cover that love bite, sweetheart.” Teased the grandmother and Marinette’s hand flew to her neck, her cheeks turning pink. Adrien cleared his throat, embarrassed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Maman. I’m a grown woman.” Marinette reminded her mother, ignoring the older woman’s giggle fit. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh please, I remember what those early days of parenthood are like. Whenever there’s a free minute.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Maman!” Marinette squawked. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She’s going to be a triathlete!” Tom declared, completely ignoring the implication Marinette and Adrien had been going at it. Knowing his daughter had a sex life and actually acknowledging it were two different things.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Big deal, I can do that too, nobody fusses when I do it.” Plagg said, appearing seemingly out of nowhere, floating on his back and kicking his legs in the air in mimicry of Madeleine’s cycling. Marinette laughed at the sheer absurdity of kwamis interacting with her parents. No more secrets. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re adorable too, Plagg.” Sabine reassured the jealous god, stroking him under the chin. Plagg preened are the attention. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re also billions of years old.” Tikki said bluntly, clearly unimpressed. “She’s new.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We should be getting home, dear.” Sabine prompted her husband, who pouted like a child. The elongated goodbye left Madeleine well cuddled - Adrien oddly content with that. He’d always sworn she wouldn’t go without, but when Marinette let her parents out, thanking them profusely for having her for the class, he took charge of their daughter. Looking at her with new eyes.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Four months old, already so much bigger than she had been, wider eyed - still a funny sort of in between, not quite green but not quite blue either. She had less hair around the back, where it had rubbed off from laying on her back (Marinette had frantically googled why her baby’s hair was falling out only to discover it was perfectly normal) but the front tufts were thickening. More and more of her time was spent awake these days, alert and starting to interact with the world around her, shaking toys if they were placed within her reach, babbling nonsensically and squeezing kwamis who foolishly got too close. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She was perfect. She was absolutely beautiful. Adrien still couldn’t believe they’d made her. He couldn’t be a monster if something so pure had come from him. Marinette locked the door behind her parents and turned to them, smiling. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s my turn to patrol tonight, you going to be okay or should I ask someone else to take my shift?” She asked, stepping into the cuddle and stroking Madeleine’s face. Separate patrols were a necessary evil while Madeleine was so little, they never ran into serious trouble - stopped the occasional mugger or burglar but mostly it was an excuse to go for a run. Rena and Carapace were always happy to venture out too but worked to their own schedules. Adrien was content to let her leave. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Maman’s gotta go to work.” He said proudly. “Say bye bye.” Adrien whispered, shaking the little girl’s hand as though she was waving. Marinette kissed his cheek and then Madeleine’s hair. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’ll find out for you, Adrien, because you need to know where you came from. But whichever way it goes... whether you were created by Duusu or not, you’re not a monster.” She promised him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Wait... we thought you two were having sex, what the hell did we miss?” Plagg asked bewildered. </p>
</div><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Two chapters left to post. Some answers, some conclusions, some smut and lots of fluff coming up! But updates might be a little slower for the last two chapters as I decided to rewrite a scene and wrote myself into a corner 😂</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Chapter 25</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>I should have split this into two chapters but meh. I made you guys wait while I retweaked it so have a double length one instead.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Closure.</p>
<p>Content warning: chapter contains brief discussion of miscarriage.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div>
  <p>A plan in place, Ladybug ought to have felt calm. She didn’t. Rather she was wracked with nerves as she strolled the prison corridor, a guard at her side. She didn’t want to face him again: but, given the situation, answers were needed and he was the only one who had them. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Gabriel’s trial was still in limbo, the sheer amount of evidence required to ensure he never left the facility was difficult to accumulate. He’d declined representation, and stated that he intended to plead guilty, but those in charge of the red tape were taking no chances - the case had to be airtight so he couldn’t worm his way into a lighter sentence or hospital instead of prison. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The guard unlocked the door to a room - about the size of a classroom, with a single table against one wall, a plexi glass divide separating two chairs. Ladybug thanked the guard and went to sit in the chair, another guard leading Gabriel in to the room on the other side of the divider. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I did wonder how long it would take you to come visit...” Gabriel said coolly, sitting down. “I had hoped it would be the other one.” Somehow, bedecked in a prison jumpsuit, with unkempt facial hair, he looked a lot less terrifying than she remembered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re a hard man to get a visiting order for and Cat Noir doesn’t want to see you.” Ladybug replied, keeping her voice level. Impossible to get a visiting order for actually, she’d had to trick her way in. “First things first...” she produced her yo yo, opening it to reveal a small device. She pressed a button on it. “A little something whipped up by our resident tech advisor...” she explained. “Any attempt to listen in on or watch over this conversation is now null and void. You and I are alone.” She told him, making it clear she held the power. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Not quite.” Gabriel gestured at the guard behind him and the guard behind Ladybug. Ladybug smiled sweetly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Almost forgot - You’ve met Rena Rouge and Carapace, right?” She offered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ah.” They both looked like grown men with the build of Adrien’s old bodyguard, but they were apparently far far stronger than looks would have him believe. The guards were her team. Her back up.  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>They were alone. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Come to finish the job?” Sneered the older man, taking it as a threat.  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“If I’d wanted you dead, you wouldn’t be here.” Ladybug said calmly. “So I’m not going to beat around the bush. Who has Adrien’s feather?” She asked him bluntly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Gabriel replied simply. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes you do. You told Adrien he was a product of the peacock miraculous. I want to know who has his feather.” She kept her chin high as she spoke to him. Behind the plexi glass panel, worn and tired, he really wasn’t that scary at all. Gabriel raised an eyebrow. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Come now, Ladybug. Do you really think I’d get sentimental over a sentimonster?” He mocked.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes.” Ladybug didn’t hesitate to answer that. “Because he’s your son. And I know a little something about loving a child who came into the world through albeit unconventional means. You were a good man, once.” She reminded him. “And you can’t undo the evil you’ve done but you can help me ensure nobody ever uses him for evil again. Where’s his feather?” There was a long pause as Gabriel seemed to debate her standing, querying whether to trust her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t know.” He said eventually. “I’m not even certain he is.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You don’t know?” Ladybug asked, tilting her head in curiosity.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I have my suspicions and no evidence.” Gabriel said gently. “Emilie was... born to be a mother.” Ladybug didn’t believe there was any such thing as a ‘natural’, but nodded all the same. “She had four miscarriages before Adrien.” He whispered. Ladybug paused. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m sorry to hear that.” She said, genuinely. Adrien had never mentioned it, and she assumed he didn’t know. Gabriel nodded curtly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She desperately wanted a child and couldn’t, but then her twin sister fell pregnant... it broke her. She’d never been the jealous type... but I felt her pain. She wanted a baby more than anything in the world, she had so much love to give... so she channelled it into acts of heroism. Not like you, she didn’t show off about it or demand the spotlight, she operated in secret. Little acts of kindness, sending sentimonsters out on rescues and watching from the rooftops. She was a good woman and she deserved her dream.” He spoke honestly.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It seemed unfair that she couldn’t carry a child, when her sister conceived one so easily... unfair that teenage girls across Paris make poor choices every day and wind up pregnant...” he said pointedly. Ladybug knew it was a pop at her but shrugged. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“That was your fault.” She replied. Gabriel dismissed the claim. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“The doctors could find nothing wrong with her, no medical reason for why she couldn’t carry to term, but her pain and sadness grew with every passing day.” He whispered, shaking his head. “She was in such pain and I couldn’t help her... and then she fell pregnant again.” His voice had become quiet, withdrawn. “Something was different with that one from the word go. She’d been happy the first time... even the second... but with the third and fourth she was... resigned to a loss. Expecting heartache. But she never stopped smiling with Adrien.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He paused in his story again as if cutting it short there.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“The pregnancy went well. She came back to herself. More and more I saw my wife for the woman she had been. I never questioned it. He was born healthy and she was overprotective of him... but any mother who’d been through what she had would be. She was diagnosed with anxiety. Kept him close by to the point of obsession... you’d know a little something about that too, given how infrequently you left your daughter unattended.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What mother who’d been through what I had wouldn’t?” Ladybug countered. He nodded in begrudging agreement. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I didn’t suspect anything. We were happy - why would I? But when he was three years old... on my watch... he fell down the bottom three stairs. Twisted his wrist. As I cradled my crying son... I noticed Emilie rubbing her own wrist and it hit me. That’s all the proof I have.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Gabriel’s eyes fluttered closed and he shook his head. She could practically see him picturing it.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You didn’t ask her about it?” Queried the heroine, almost fascinated to see Gabriel so open and honest, so human. He’d been through a lot too... still, knowing it all it didn’t excuse what he’d done, but at least she felt she understood him a little better now. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I did, after Adrien went to bed that night. Her response was: “He’s your son, Gabriel” and that was the end of the subject.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Did it change anything?” Ladybug asked. “The belief he was created by the peacock?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes and no.” Gabriel said. “He was still my son... how could I blame my wife for the way he came into the world? She used her power for her own benefit, true, but she was always helping others, even at the cost of hurting herself. Why <em>not</em> help herself? She deserved a chance at happiness I couldn’t fault her for how it came about. But... it made her vulnerable.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She’d always been careful with him, but the realisation that losing him meant losing both of them... I became...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Paranoid.” Fielded the guard behind Ladybug. Gabriel glowered at him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I suppose so. I’d have said diligent.” He argued. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You stopped letting him play outside. Stopped him taking risks.” The guard said pointedly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I <em>tried</em>. I couldn’t control him. I couldn’t keep him from all harm - even around the house he managed to get into mischief, his trip on the stairs was nowhere near the last incident. Good luck with the toddler stage, Miss Dupain-Cheng, any child of Adrien’s is bound to be as wild as he was.” Gabriel said curtly.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Noted.” Ladybug smiled. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“One slip from a clumsy child climbing a tree and I could lose them both. So we didn’t leave the house much.” Ladybug nodded - not forgiving it, but she understood the mentality. Adrien had nearly gone down the same path, after all. The difference was, when Adrien had seen that what he was trying to do was wrong he had stopped himself. Gabriel had doubled down. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You were trying to protect them.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Emilie stopped being a secret hero... or... I believed she did. As Adrien grew up she began lamenting her life. She resented me for it. For keeping them caged... complained of her solitude... but it was the only way I could think of to keep them safe. She kept sneaking out... continuing to do good in secret. I don’t know exactly how she broke her miraculous... I’ve timed it to either a bank robbery or a train crash she helped out behind the scenes with, but I do know she kept using it, even after it broke. She kept the secret to herself. She didn’t ask for help.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You didn’t have a guardian...” Ladybug realised. If the peacock had been operating in secret, Fu most likely never knew about her? Or knew she was active but hadn’t been able to find her? </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We had each other. Or... we were supposed to. I suppose that was my fault. I hadn’t created an environment where she could talk to me so... she didn’t ask for my help.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Gabriel closed his eyes for a moment. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She grew sicker and sicker... doctors checked for cancer, for poisoning, all they found were some minor bruises that faded, eventually she fell asleep and didn’t wake up. I found the peacock miraculous after she fell asleep, it was broken and cracked with black. The secret sleeps with her. <em>If</em> Adrien was indeed created by magic... either she has the feather, which I doubt - she never attempted to control him, even for her own safety - or... he has it, and just isn’t aware of it. Consider it a soul.” Gabriel told her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Thank you.” She said genuinely. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“If he is a sentimonster...”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“He’s not a monster.” Ladybug corrected. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“A creation... then every blow I dealt Cat Noir, in an attempt to protect my child and save her had hurt them both. Unknowingly I’d been heightening her pain, pushing her deeper into that sleep.” The regret in his voice was clear. Ladybug nodded. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Had you won... had you gone back. You’d have reset to what... the day she broke her miraculous? Or before Adrien was conceived so she had the strength to endure whatever accident caused the break?” She wondered.   </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Preventing her sneaking out.” He answered, choosing Adrien. “I’d have taken it away.” Ladybug sighed: even knowing everything, he’d have repeated the same mistakes. Taken everything away just to fall into the same trap all over again. He still couldn’t see fault in his own behaviour. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You realise her sneaking out wasn’t the problem? It was you keeping them locked up.” Ladybug pointed out. Gabriel glowered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You may find it hard to believe... but I do love my son. I never meant to cause such harm.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t find it hard to believe.”  Ladybug said honestly, rising to her feet. “I think that’s everything...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Wait,” before she could leave, Gabriel spoke. “I answered your questions. To the best of my ability... I answered you. I ask the same courtesy, how is Nathalie?” The question threw her and Ladybug sat back down. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She’s... healing. She’s still very sick, they’re not sure why...”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Doctors aren’t well versed in magical maladies.” Gabriel surmised. Ladybug nodded. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“But she is healing. Time. Time away from the miraculous is helping her... I assume that’s why you took hers that night? It was the only way to guarantee she wouldn’t keep using it?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“The only way to prevent her from meeting the same fate as Emilie.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Why’d you keep her captive?” Because Nathalie had, according to her brief statement, been held against her will in that lair for ten months. That didn’t fit his narrative of protecting them. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She wasn’t on board any more. Couldn’t continue to stand by my side. I’d crossed the line for her. If I’d let her leave... she’d have outed me. You. She’d have told the world. Initially I was working on a plan to topple you, so I needed her silence but...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“But you didn’t. You didn’t come after us...” Ladybug reminded him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I was nearly ready to attack when the news broke that you were with child. That photograph Adrien posted... it unsettled me.” Gabriel confessed.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Why?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Perhaps even I draw the line at attacking a pregnant woman.” Gabriel mused, apparently uncertain of his own motives. “Perhaps you reminded me of Emilie? Perhaps it was Adrien’s smile. He looked happy. But... in that moment... I wasn’t so sure I wanted to win any more. I left it until you came to me, until a fight was less of an attack and more of a negotiation and even then... Adrien talked me out of it.”  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Except for the Christmas card. Why... why did you send the Christmas card?” Ladybug wondered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“He’s my son. It... didn’t feel right not to contact him at Christmas.” Gabriel murmured. “I had half hoped it would be a reassurance. That I knew and hadn’t made a move... might set him at ease.” He sighed heavily. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“If Nathalie is healing... is there hope for Emilie?” He continued to question. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“There is always hope.” Ladybug told him. “I’m still trying. I’ve contacted people in Tibet but they’re not very forthcoming. In America, but the magic is different and every translation loses something. I’m trying.” She reassured him. “No luck so far. She’s not had her miraculous for years and Duusu is long since fixed but... time doesn’t seem to heal her, she’s in much a more severe state than Nathalie though, maybe she just needs more of it.” She sighed. She felt like she was letting down her fiancé. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“How is Adrien?” That wasn’t a surprising question. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Shaken. But he’ll be okay.” Ladybug promised. The knowledge he may be a product of magic seemed to weigh on him less, but like Emilie his wounds ran deep. “With a lot of love and a little luck, he’ll be fine. Cats always land on their feet.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“And the baby?” Gabriel asked gently. Ladybug paused before deciding to answer truthfully. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Getting bigger every day. Trying to sit up on her own already - not managed it yet but, she’s trying.” She said honestly. Gabriel nodded. He couldn’t recall when Adrien had learned to sit up on his own. “Adrien says he thinks she’s going to look like his mother did the summer she dyed her hair dark because she got sick of being confused for Amelie.” Ladybug smiled softly. That, Gabriel did recall. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You?” He wondered.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Me?” She asked, confused </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“How are <em>you</em>? You suffered more than most, yet you sit here and smile...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Do you actually care?” She asked, smirking. Gabriel shook his head.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Not really. I make no secret of the fact I don’t like you. I think you’re a foolish little girl with ideas above her station, and a worrying tendency to spread her legs for the first man who’d take her.” He said curtly. Ladybug bristled, she should have expected the insult but still... the guard behind her growled and she held up a hand to calm him. “However...” Gabriel continued “my son sees something in you that I don’t. So I’m asking: how are you?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m... okay.” Ladybug said carefully. “I... had to learn to walk again. Quite literally at one point,” she admitted as she recalled her time in the hospital “but... I found my feet again. Adrien helped. I’m tougher than a I look, I’ll be fine.” She swore. And she would be. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sensing no more questions she turned to the guard stood behind her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Happy with that, Chaton?” She wondered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah.” The guard said, nodding. Gabriel paused, realising the disguise was shielding his son and not Alya Cèsaire or Nino Lahiffe as he’d been lead to believe: Meaning Adrien had heard the entire story. Gabriel’s eyes narrowed. Adrien had been the one to suggest Ladybug do the talking - he wanted to hear his father tell the truth, and suspected if he’d faced him directly he’d have been fed lies. It had worked. Gabriel had been unguarded enough around someone he considered an enemy to speak freely. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Just wondering...” Adrien continued. “Do I look like Felix on purpose or...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Given her jealousy at Amelie’s pregnancy was the trigger, I... would assume she modelled your appearance on her identical twin’s son - the closest genetic match. I can’t be sure.” Gabriel whispered. Adrien, still hidden beneath the appearance of a much burlier man in his forties, nodded. There was no proof, one way or another, he could still be human after all, but in all likelihood... The fact he and Felix looked so similar was far more damning than his mother rubbing her wrist. So he was almost certainly conceived with a helping hand from Duusu. Only his mother knew the truth and she was telling no tales. Oddly it didn’t bother him as much as it had. Feather or soul... what was the difference really? </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t forgive you. I won’t forgive you. Even now you’re not sorry and if you <em>ever</em> talk to Marinette like that again I will hurt you.” He told his father. Forgiveness was too much to ask. Motivations aside, he’d acted horrendously and that couldn’t be forgiven. But continuing to punish him beyond the depths he’d already endured didn’t seem appropriate either. He cleared his throat. “But... if you continue along the right path, plead guilty, stay in prison, <em>attempt</em> to pay for your mistakes. Then... I’ll come see you once a year - at Christmas.” He offered.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>A tense conversation once a year in exchange for being left alone seemed fair and might remind Gabriel just why he was giving them the reins. Gabriel paused. It was more than he’d expected.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Thank you.” Gabriel said appreciatively. He seemed to consider his request before voicing it. “Will you bring the baby?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No.” Adrien said bluntly. “I don’t want you anywhere near my daughter.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>———</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He considered it closure. Ladybug had told him that he wasn’t obligated to forgive his father, and it didn’t weigh on him. Hawkmoth being his father was no longer the burden that it had been. The worry that he might not be human no longer made him uncomfortable in his own skin. Adrien was happy to move on from it and while away his time doing much more pleasant things: like figuring out what made Marinette tick. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Which had been remarkably easy. It turned out that after months of self imposed repression, <em>most</em> things made her tick. She had shyly confessed to him after the first time he’d gone down on her that she liked him taking control - that it got her out of her head and stopped her over thinking. He’d taken it to heart, a little cautious the first few times, anticipating a panic, but in the weeks that followed he developed a confidence in the lead role.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He wasn’t about to start tying her to the headboard and smacking her around or anything quite that extreme, it wasn’t that sort of power, but a sneaky pat on the backside or gentle nudge against the nearest counter and she was generally content to fool around. Happy to take back control when she wanted it, but happier when he made the first move so she didn’t have to think too hard about initiating it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette lost count of the amount of times she came undone with his fingers or his tongue over that window of time. Her mother had been right: Every ‘spare’ moment seemed to find her on her knees for him, or her sat on the kitchen counter with his hand up her dress as they familiarised themselves with each other and shed the last of their insecurities.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>It was liberating. There had been a time she wouldn’t have been able to imagine pressing Adrien against the kitchen wall and stroking him to completion, a time when even the thought of him eating her out, much less on their sofa would have filled her with shame. Now they fell into a rhythm naturally, fooling around and taking embarrassments (and oh weren’t there plenty of those: she’d milked through her clothes twice - and he’d learned that however tempting they were, he was to largely leave those alone if Madeleine was due a feed, and he’d attempted some “clever trick” he’d learned on the internet and wound up nicking her with a tooth) as learning curve. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Both of them were ready for more. The biggest problem was: </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“AWAAAAAH!” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien groaned as Marinette sighed and straightened her dress in apology, returning herself to decency.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’ll go. You... calm down.” She encouraged gently, kissing his cheek. Calming down was easier said than done when he’d been moments away from his jeans needing a wash but he nodded, taking deep breaths and thinking unsexy thoughts about how much laundry was still to do, and how long until the beef for the night’s dinner would be dethawed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette walked in to Tikki and Plagg flitting around, frantically trying to soothe the agitated baby and she picked her daughter up - the kwamis were adequate minders when it came to vanishing into the next room but their lack of human shapes made cuddles for comfort impossible. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“There we go. What’s the matter, hm?” She asked, settling her daughter on her shoulder. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She squeezed Plagg and he shouted and then she screamed.” Tikki filled her in.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Tattle tale!” Plagg hissed. “She’s surprisingly strong, forgive me for yelping in shock!” He protested, having the good grace to look apologetic. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Plagg was trying to soothe her, Mistress.” Came Nooroo’s quiet, nervous voice. Marinette looked up at him and smiled.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I know. I’m not mad.” She reassured. <em>A little frustrated, but not mad</em>. “And for the fiftieth time - Marinette is fine. You don’t have to call me Mistress.” She promised the kwami. She liked Nooroo, much more than Duusu certainly. He was quiet, obedient... very anxious.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette had been hoping to coax him out of his shell by letting his roam the house more often - he seemed pleased enough to hang out with Tikki and Plagg, or with the others in the miracle box but was still jumpy and apologetic around Marinette and Adrien, seeking forgiveness where it wasn’t necessary. He’d been used too. The list of beings affected by Gabriel’s selfish plight was a mile long. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What’s spooked our girl?” Adrien asked, returning to the room - calmed down now, recognising the infant’s squawk as the one she made when startled. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Toys that yell when you pull their tail.” Marinette laughed, bobbing the little girl and handing her to her daddy, who was content to take over. Watching him stride around the room bobbing Madeleine on his shoulder Marinette placed her hand on her heart. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She knew she loved him - but every so often it struck her all over again with such sudden intensity it made her knees weak. Switching off when she shifted from fiancée mode to mother mode was easy enough, a complete mental rebalance, but suddenly she wished she hadn’t had to. Decisively, she nodded, picking up her phone. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Adrien, how would you feel about my parents taking her for a few hours tomorrow night?” She offered, biting her lip.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Thought Baby Yoga was on a break because the teacher’s giving birth?” Adrien said cluelessly. Marinette gave him a look and he paused, before smiling.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“If you’re sure?” They’d left her before - once for a shopping trip at Sabine’s insistence, but generally only when they absolutely had to, this would be voluntary. A ‘selfish’ act - their first, really, since she was born - to spend some time alone. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I figure... we’re overdue a date?” Marinette asked gently. Adrien kissed Madeleine’s cheek as she finally quietened. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Sounds good.” He agreed, rocking from side to side. “Been a while since we went out.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Actually I was thinking of staying in...” Marinette told him coyly. Adrien’s tongue found his upper canine as he smirked. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Sounds better.” He whispered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Why are your holders so obsessed with sex?” Nooroo whispered. Tikki and Plagg shrugged. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>———</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>And didn’t she look a vision. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien blinked in awe as he set the table, eyes on her as she slipped into the room. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“New dress?” He asked, feeling blindly around for the candle lighter so he could take all of her in. She’d opted out of her usual colours, no red, no pink, instead wearing a powder blue wrap dress that showcased her figure. Capped sleeves, a mid length symmetrical hemline, and a sweetheart neckline - he was far more enamoured with the woman than the dress but he recognised the excellent craftwork for what it was. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Had a bunch of leftover material after a small order...” she told him, explaining the colour change. He quite liked the blue - it made her eyes pop, though he supposed the candle light helped with that. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I love it.” He praised. “Okay, table’s all set.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Should be here in...” the doorbell went and he raised an eyebrow, curious. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I wasn’t aware we were expecting company.” He said carefully, wondering if he’d mistaken her plans for the night. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We’re not.” Marinette grinned, leaving the kitchen and getting the door. Adrien was confused but she’d insisted on planning the date while he’d been at a frankly exhausting meeting with a lawyer - all she’d asked was that he set the table when he got back. He listened as words were exchanged in the other room and she returned with two bags of take out.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I called Richard’s restaurant and asked for a favour.” She told him. Adrien grinned.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Seriously?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Seriously.” She beamed. “Said it was the least he could do. Wouldn’t even let me pay.” She shook her head, mildly amused and began opening bags.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Upside of being dragged through the press - real friends stay loyal.” He whispered appreciatively. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She set aside a chicken risotto for Adrien, her own salmon penne, popped two ramekins aside for later, and produced a large chunk of Parmesan and a third ramekin. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Are you bribing them to stay out of our hair?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Madeleine interupts us often enough, I love Tikki and Plagg but tonight, Adrien Agreste, you’re all mine.” Marinette smiled. “Hey, peeping toms, you getting your snacks or what?” She called into the room. Tikki and Plagg zipped out from behind the coffee jars and each took hold of their own acquisition. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I like her. Keep her!” Plagg cheered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“As long as she’ll have me.” Adrien laughed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“If you make yourselves scarce for the remainder of the evening I promise to binge watch World’s Greatest Chef with you later.” She apologised to the two contented gods. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We get cheese and tv?! You should get lucky more often!” Plagg grinned, darting off with his bribe. (Marinette was pretty sure she heard Adrien mutter<em> I wish</em>) </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“He’s so easily pleased. Have fun you two.” Tikki giggled - but she took off with her ramekin of creme brûlée all the same. Marinette laughed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She finished plating up the dishes, transferring from hot foil trays to the plates before taking her seat and gesturing for him to sit opposite her. Adrien smiled at his plate, realising she’d opted for the meals they’d chosen on their first date. Over a year ago now. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?” He asked her over the flickering candles. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes.” Marinette said unabashedly, grinning at him and spearing a piece of pasta with her fork. “You tell me often enough that it’s started to stick.” She giggled. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh sure, that you listen to but when I tell you to <em>not</em> let the god of destruction watch cooking shows at 3am...” Adrien teased. Marinette stuck out her tongue.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>They chatted calmly throughout the meal, talking about everything and nothing the way they usually would at home. The tension from their first date was completely absent, no pressure to fill the awkward silences. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Did you hear Jagged Stone’s dedicating his upcoming album to us?” Adrien offered.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Assuming you mean Ladybug and Cat Noir?” Marinette hummed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah, that us.” Adrien laughed. “How cool is that?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Very.” She agreed with a giggle. Her phone buzzed and she immediately checked it, smiling.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Nothing to worry about?” Adrien asked. Marinette shook her head and passed it across to him. “Oh dear kwami what have they done to our daughter?” He groaned, laughing as he stared at the photograph. Gone were the subtle pastel onesies Marinette normally dressed her in, instead she was wearing a bright pink dress with ruffles and skirts a mile wide, a set of white glitter threaded tights underneath it and sparkly silver shoes. She looked like a child’s doll. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“And this is why she never let papa dress me.” Marinette giggled. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She’s in good hands.” Adrien chuckled. “But we’re burning that outfit the minute she gets home.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Be nice.” She cackled, having to agree that it was hideous. “We’ll just say she threw up on it.” She smirked, shooting him a devious wink. Adrien snickered and cleared the first course away, fetching the creme brûlée. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The dessert was as sweet as she remembered it, admittedly the burnt sugar top had wilted a little from travelling, but still tasted phenomenal, earning a little hum of pleasure that affected Adrien for entirely different reasons. His eyes were on her, as he ate his own dessert, and she could tell his thoughts were turning to how the date would end. The ability to turn him on was still as powerful a thrill as it had first been, and continuing to eat her creme brûlée she let her leg extended beneath the table, stroking her foot up his calf without making eye contact and smirking to herself. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The soft, aroused growl he gave her shot electricity down her spine as she set her empty ramekin down and looked up at him. Eyes dark, lips slightly parted, Adrien looked positively sinful, and she didn’t mind it one bit. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Movie?” She suggested, smiling innocently. Tempting as it was to drag him into the bedroom, she was enjoying not needing to hurry. Adrien nodded, extinguishing the candles and going to clear the plates, but she shook her head. “Later.” She reassured, rising from her seat and heading to the living room. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Remote in hand she settled on a harmless rom com that hopefully wouldn’t require too much attention or emotional investment and the moment Adrien was seated she settled onto his lap. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What’s the plan here, Bug?” He whispered, not quite sure whether he was allowed to touch. Marinette hummed and lay her head back against his shoulder, content with the low level arousal for the moment. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I don’t have one.” She said honestly. He gave a derisive noise and she laughed. “Seriously, I don’t. I know where I want the night to end...” she said honestly. “How we get there’s a whole other thing. And right now... I’m just enjoying spending the night with you.” She hummed contentedly. Adrien mulled that over before nodding. Winging it sounded good. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He wrapped his arms around her waist and cuddled up with her, content - so many of their early dates had been exactly this, cosy and comfortable and just enjoying each other’s company, and he loved it no less for knowing there was more to come. Losing himself in the plot unfolding on the screen and the beautiful woman in his arms, occasionally he kissed her neck but did he best to restrain himself and let her enjoy the relaxed atmosphere of a night off. They’d earned one. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Until...</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Are you <em>crying</em>?” He asked, surprised. Crying was not where the date was supposed to be going. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh shut up! They’re finally reunited!” Marinette sniffed, eyes on the screen. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“They’re dead, Mari.” He pointed out. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“So?! They’re the cutest ghost couple ever.” She insisted. Adrien laughed: not that he knew many ghost couples. “It’s adorable.” She insisted, with the end credits beginning to roll she turned around in his lap. The movement shimmied the dress of the skirt a little further up her thighs. Smiling coyly at him, she raised an eyebrow. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re adorable.” He countered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Was going for sexy.” She pouted. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You can be both?” He suggested. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Nope.” She hummed, wrapping her arms around his neck. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Sorry for crying at romantic movies.” She said softly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Sorry for not?” He grinned. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“If you don’t cry at <em>our</em> wedding then I’ll take issue but I don’t mind you not crying at ‘Forever’.” She laughed, nudging her nose against his. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah, definitely adorable.” He chuckled. Marinette cocked her head and bit her lower lip. Definitely intended to make him pay for that. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah? Well, well how’s this for adorable - I believe I promised to ride you.” She told him confidently. Adrien swallowed. Walked right into that one. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Can’t believe you remember that...” he mumbled. Not like he could have forgotten about it, that little whispered speech of hers had done a number on him months ago. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re not the only one who thinks about it.” She reminded him, rolling her hips very slowly. The further she spread her legs the higher the skirt of her dress climbed up her thighs. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We back to the masturbation analogy?” Adrien asked, raising his eyebrow. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Not where I was going with that but sure... that too.” She purred, hands finding the hem of his shirt and pulling it upward. He lifted his arms and let her strip him, tossing his t shirt over the back of the sofa. “Can you blame me, look at you.” She murmured, eyeing him unapologetically and bucking her hips much more deliberately than her prior subtle movements. That definitely caught his attention and she felt him twitch in his jeans. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien’s hand slid up slowly from her knee to her backside, and where he had been preparing to feel fabric he only encountered bare skin and his eyes widened.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You...” he couldn’t complete the sentence, too startled at the bold move. Marinette smirked. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Must have forgot to put them on?” She whispered, grinding her hips down against his. Knowing she wasn’t wearing underwear did the trick, now fully hard beneath her she had something to rock against. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Take over for now, Chaton?” She purred, a little out of her comfort zone, but not regretting the decision: he understood from prior conversation that she just wanted not to have to plan it, to get out of her head for a little while “And I promise I won’t forget my promise later.” In one swift motion, Adrien stood up with her still in his lap, she squeaked and clung to him. “Oh my god!” She laughed. “I meant fool around on the sofa not go all caveman!” She giggled. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You told me to take charge and the bed’s comfier.” Adrien grinned, hands lightly squeezing her butt. Still carrying her, he walked toward the bedroom.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Over her giggle fit, Marinette dragged him into a kiss. Adrien had started with such pure intentions, to take her to the bedroom and slowly, deliberately unravel her, but he stumbled with the force of the kiss and wound up pressing her against the wall. She gasped and for a worrying moment he thought he’d gone too far, but her fingers threaded into his hair and her ankles hooked around his back. Bewildered as to how he hadn’t realised she wasn’t wearing underwear the moment she’d sat on his lap he pressed closer to her revelling in the wet heat against crotch as he rocked. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Tearing himself away from her lips he moved kisses across her jaw, down her throat. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Won’t leave marks.” He promised, remembering her mother’s comments last time. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I do own foundation,” Marinette panted, voice high and breathy “mark me.” Adrien growled. He didn’t want to hurt her, ever, but the way she moaned when he set his teeth against her skin spurred him on, sucking another bruise against the sensitive skin under her ear. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette kept one hand in his hair and traced the other down his bare chest. For a woman who had once been petrified of being pinned, she was fascinated to discover the thrill of being pressed between the cool, solid wall at her back, and the heat of Adrien’s skin with him supporting her weight. Grinding and rutting against each other, with no sense of shame, her only issue was his zipper - starting to grate uncomfortably. Using the hand that wasn’t in his hair to unzip him, he pressed her upper body to the wall as he shuffled out of the jeans leaving him in just his boxers. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>This time when he pressed against her, only a thin layer of increasingly damp cotton prevented him from being inside her. Her own chest heaving with every excited breath was only exacerbated when he hiked her dress up to her waist. His boxers were shifting open with each buck of his hips and, feeling the heat of his skin starting to touch her she panicked. She wanted this: wanted him. She didn’t want to risk another pregnancy, implant or not she was taking no chances. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Condom!” She squeaked. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Okay.” He agreed, a little breathless. “Where are they?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“B-bedroom.” She panted, cursing herself for not bringing one with her. Adrien glanced over his shoulder toward the bedroom and back at her, considering something. Her instructions had been to take charge, after all, and he was in danger of firing his single bullet far too early if they continued the way they were going. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Trust me?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Entirely depends on what you’re planning to do.” Marinette said warily, a little uncomfortable. “Condoms are non-negotiable.” He laughed against her throat.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Here’s the plan.” He told her, voice dropping a few octaves. Marinette squirmed for an entirely different reason - his voice going all low and growly did wonderful things to her she couldn’t quite explain. “I’m going to do something right here and now that doesn’t require one, then I’m taking you to the bedroom and we can use one, sound good?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Okay.” She whispered, trying not to smirk. “Kind of like you all bossy.” She murmured in confession. He winked at her and Marinette shivered before he even dropped to his knees. Loaning the strength his alter ego afforded him, he lifted her thighs up on to his shoulders with ease and she ought to have been embarrassed - the position incredibly undignified, practically sat on his face and still pinned against the wall - but all she could do was gasp as that was clearly what he had intended. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He’d been practising, as much as was possible given the restraints of family life, and had discovered the quickest, most efficient way to get her off - but they were under no time restrictions this time, efficiency wasn’t his goal so he lapped slowly, teasing her open with his tongue. He was unable to use his fingers in his current position, but she wound hers into his hair and he groaned against her, effectively rewarding her for the slight increase in tension by flicking his tongue against her clit in that moment. Every time he teased the bundle of nerves her thighs tensed around his ears and he squeezed the curve of her rear. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Surrounded by her, the only thing he regretted about the ad-libbed position was that with his ears blocked he couldn’t hear the moans and whimpers he knew he was earning with particular moves. Feeling them course through her was almost as good though, her heels digging into the back of his chest every time he did something she liked a little more. Probing his tongue in and out of her hole seemed to frustrate her more than please her, leaving her wriggling and searching for the right angle, but he kept at it - partially to keep her on the edge, and partially as a crude reminder of exactly what was going to happen after she toppled over that edge. Only when she outright ground her hips, attempting to tilt them downward to get him where she wanted him did he relent, closing his mouth over her clit and sucking softly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Because he’d learned <em>that</em> was the magic trick. He could get her off by circling his tongue, or flicking rapidly left to right, he could get her off by curling his fingers inside her and flattering his tongue against her clit at the same time, and she was loud and appreciative every time - but to truly make her scream he’d learned that suction was key. He’d barely begun when she started to tremble, one of her hands leaving his hair and vanishing god knows where. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>One day, when things weren’t so new and she was a little less nervous about sex, he made up his mind that he was going to ask her if she’d let him film her face during this - he was desperate to see what she looked like. All safely done of course, on a video camera without WiFi and to be deleted afterward, so there was no risk of ever accidentally sharing it.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He alternated between gentle sucking and flicking his tongue in a tense point over the bead until her thighs seemed to turn to stone around his ears and she quaked under his lips. He didn’t let up right away, lapping slowly until she stopped shaking and seemed to go limp above him. Carefully he slid her down the wall, holding her up when her feet touched ground.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He’d thought her a vision before but in that moment she was breath taking: dress rumpled, post orgasmic glow, cheeks flushed. He did notice scratch marks on the wall and tried not to smirk - so that’s where her other hand had got to. The thought of her clawing at the wall in pleasure had him throbbing in his overly wet boxers - he <em>definitely</em> needed a visual record of that at some point. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“So... bedroom, Princess?” He asked coyly. She blinked dazedly and dragged him down into a fierce kiss, tasting herself on his tongue. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>For a moment he thought there was a serious chance they wouldn’t even make it to the bedroom again, but she reached up behind her back mid-kiss and the sound of a zipper dragged him away from her mouth. Marinette slipped her arms from the capped sleeves and let the unzipped dress pool around her ankles. The design had clearly been boasting some hidden support layers around her chest because she was completely bare, standing there wearing nothing but a smirk. Adrien forgot how to breathe. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The only time (to his memory) that he’d seen her <em>completely</em> naked, sex had been the furthest thing from his mind. Now it was all he could think about, painfully hard and desperate to touch and kiss every inch of her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“My turn.” She whispered - taking back the reins with two simple words. She turned on her heel and practically sauntered into the bedroom, hips swaying with every step, leaving him open mouthed and staring after her. “You joining me, Adrien? I will start without you!” She warned from the next room. Brain coming back online he followed his fiancée into the room. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Cool, collected and confident, Marinette propped herself up on one elbow, laid out on the bed.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hi.” She said softly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hi.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Lose the boxers, you won’t be needing them and someone made a mess of them.” She said in mockery. Adrien didn’t hesitate to shuck them off, damp patch and all, kicking them aside and joining her on the bed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ball back in her court, Marinette made the first move, going in for another kiss, just as passionate as the last. Her hands around his neck, knee pressing his apart a little to trail up his thighs. The absence of clothes didn’t seem to hinder her confidence, with her cuddling into him the same way she had done clothed a hundred times. Always, Adrien had been content to follow her lead, as much as he loved her giving him the reins - because who wouldn’t love having their partner at their every whim - he loved this too. The side of her she’d buried, hidden away, was discovering all over again.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette and Ladybug were the same woman, and had been in his head for a long time - and when it came to sex, she’d once been a woman willing to discard her concerns and let herself want. She was the woman he had in that moment, the one who pressed her hands to his bare shoulders and knocked him to his back on the mattress, without breaking their heated kiss. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Throwing her leg over him and sitting directly atop him so he could feel the wet heat of her arousal against his thigh as she kissed and licked from his neck down his chest.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Fuck.” He whispered as her tongue traced the v of his hips. Blue eyes flickered up at him, curious as to whether she was doing something wrong to warrant an admonishment but he shook his head. “Good.” He promised, a little breathless. “I just...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Use your words.” She reminded him. Neither of them were mindreaders - and while everything was still so new she was mindful of a misstep. “You can ask if you want something.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I kind of want to last.” He croaked in confession. She looked a bit confused. “If you... do what you’re about to do...” he gestured downward and her eyes followed his indicator, to where his erection stood flushed and twitching. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Suck you.” She said coolly. Adrien blushed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yes. That. You do that and I’m going to need to wait like... half an hour to go again.” He warned her. The novelty of having a conversation whilst naked was not lost on either of them. Marinette grinned at him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We’ve got all night, minou.” She whispered devilishly, tongue flicking out and licking a stripe from the base of his dick to the tip. Adrien groaned. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Have mercy, my lady?” He pleaded, breathless. Marinette paused, licked him once more, for her personal pleasure and then nodded, leaning back to reach into the drawer. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The motion arched her back and pushed her breasts forward in a way that was straight out of a wet dream. Unashamedly, he drank in the sight of her. He was <em>allowed</em> to look. To touch - his hands settled on her hips, the moment she had the red foil packet in her hand she moved toward his fingertips: settling herself at the top of his thighs, her own legs splayed to straddle him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Know how to use one of these things?” She asked him, raising an eyebrow. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I think our daughter is evidence of the fact I do not.” Adrien laughed. “But I did Google it.” He added in reassurance, taking the packet from her.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>It took him a moment after tearing open the packet to figure out which way it unrolled, but after that it was simple enough to pinch and roll down the way the internet had suggested. All the while, Marinette’s gaze was on him, her lip between her teeth - the response officially moving from a ‘signal’ that she was turned on to becoming a Pavlovian trigger for him. He was never again going to be able to witness her biting her lip without getting as desperately hard as he was in that moment. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette’s eyes drew up his figure until she met his look with one of her own, quirking an eyebrow to confirm. The moment he nodded, she shifted herself upward. A gasp and a grunt as his sheathed erection swept through the slick he’d encouraged earlier, and she manoeuvred herself upward to line him up properly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>A small eternity seemed to pass as she lowered herself carefully onto him, lip bitten the entire time. Her hand, her mouth, Adrien had been lucky enough to experience them both and loved every second but had never - to his memory - encountered anything like the tight heat of her pussy gripping him with every inch as she impaled herself and he unapologetically whimpered. She’d forgotten how much she’d liked the sensation of being stretched and filled and blushed as she recalled it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You okay? Doesn’t hurt?” He asked gently. She laughed softly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No. It’s good.” She reassured, giving a slow careful roll of her hips and enjoying the gasp she drew from his lips. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She placed her palms on his chest and repeated her movement, rolling her entire body this time along with her hips. It took only a few goes for him to catch on, finding a rhythm with her and rocking up to meet her every time she ground downward, electricity shooting down both of their spines and her own noises of approval echoing his. No different to fighting together, no different to dancing with each other, bodies synchronising into pace with minimal effort. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Her knees squeezed his sides a little with every rise and his fingertips splayed at the small of her back, rubbing small circles. He couldn’t say which he preferred, the feeling of being inside her, sliding almost completely out of her every time she rose onto her knees above him, or the visual of her literally bouncing in his lap. Her breasts were hypnotising, bobbing in the forefront of his vision - but he’d already learned the potential mishaps of playing with those. For now they were off limits, tempting as it was to bury his face in them. Forcing his gaze to her face he found her wide eyed and open mouthed, in rapture. The twin tails of her hair - now long enough to cover her shoulders, swung with every bounce.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Why the hell did you think I didn’t like your pigtails?” He asked suddenly, question punctuated with a moan as Marinette adjusted the angle. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What?” She whispered, barely able to speak because how was she supposed to concentrate on conversation when if she moved <em>just right</em> and he hit her <em>just</em> <em>there</em> every part of her body was sparking up, crackling toward an inferno every time he throbbed within her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You...” he groaned, snapping his hips a little faster as she was clearly onto something with her slight shift in direction. On every upthrust he felt her clench around him. “You stopped wearing your pigtails... you said I didn’t like them...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Turned you on to take them out.” She gasped. “I didn’t know why.” She murmured, completely dazed as she sank down on him once more. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien watched her for a moment before letting one hand reach up and pull the bobble from her left side. She paused her movements briefly to remove the right one on her own. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Work for you?” She asked carefully. He’d always been enamoured by the sight of her with her hair down, but with her turned on and mid-romp it struck him entirely differently. No longer a sign she was at rest for the day, or in need of comfort, but of her letting go completely. Uninhibited. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah...” he whispered, awed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Good.” She hummed, more convinced than ever that he’d been in control that first time and both comforted and aroused by it. She’d always commanded his attention, whichever persona she was in and she wasn’t about to lose it now, especially as she knew how things had ended last time and suspected they’d head the same way.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She began to slam her hips down roughly, receiving a groan for her efforts. This time though, he didn’t meet her - unwilling to match her more frantic pace. She nearly howled in frustration at the realisation he was holding himself back. Where was the man who pinned her against walls and (because they had to be one and the same at this point) tipped her back on rooftops? Marinette knew there was a panther hiding in there somewhere. She’d just have to coax him out then. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Adrien. You’re not going to break me.” She growled, spreading her index and middle finger in a V to add friction to her clit and give him a show as she leaned backward, fully on display. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Playing a dangerous game, my lady.” He warned her, moving to follow her as she altered their position. Without once slipping out of her they moved so she was on her back. Those words had once haunted her, she could recall them being whispered at her in a way that had seemed goading at the time... now she just smirked.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Your lady likes danger.” She whispered as he tucked his ankles under his backside so she was sat on his lap with her shoulders on the bed: much comfier than a rooftop. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Taking her at her word, each thrust was slightly rougher, a sharp snap every time until she was dizzied with the pace. Pressure mounting she did nothing to stifle the moans tumbling from her mouth as he either grew thicker within her or she became tighter closer to her peak, she wasn’t entirely sure which and didn’t care. Seeing stars she gasped and cried</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Adrien!” As she came for the second time that night, the sparks becoming an inferno that caught her entire body aflame around him. Her orgasm didn’t trigger his, the sensation of her gripping him fantastic but not quite enough - dulled through the condom. Instead he pitched forward when she relaxed, lowering her legs and settling his hands on the mattress either side of her head. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Mewling, everything seeming so much more sensitive, she arched up to meet him in a kiss as he bucked his hips a few more times chasing his own high. Her heel digging in and pressing him closer at the small of his back did the trick, pulsing inside her and shivering through the wave, he broke the lip lock only to growl a ragged </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“<em>Marinette</em>” in her ear. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Exhausted, and practically giddy at the realisation that this time he <em>had</em> called her name, she tipped her head to the side letting him kiss her neck and collarbone as he eased himself out of her. She lamented the loss of his skin against hers as he retreated to dispose of the condom. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What... what’s the protocol here?” He asked gently, cautious of approaching her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Get back here. Wait...” she turned herself around so her head was at the pillow instead, tugging him down to cuddle. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Completely naked, with no qualms about being in Adrien’s arms, she whispered quietly.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I can’t believe we finally had sex!” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I can’t believe we weren’t interrupted!” Adrien countered. Nuzzling her neck he dropped a few kisses against her throat. “You sure you’re okay cuddling? We could go play Mecha Strike...” he whispered, not judging. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’m fine here,” Marinette chirped, pressing her lips to his sternum. “Not going anywhere.” She whispered in promise. Adrien paused, somehow despite all their progress he still hadn’t been expecting that, but certainly wasn’t complaining about it, arms snaking around her waist and pulling her impossibly closer to him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I love you.” She whispered.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I love you too.” He swore, marvelling in the joy of a post coital cuddle. Words escaped them in the moment, wrapped up in each other all soft skin and adrift in a sea of hormones, sharing gentle touches and cuddles. “You okay?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Never been happier.” She whispered honestly. “You?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I can only think of one thing to make this more perfect.” He said honestly. Instantly Marinette wondered what she’d done wrong but the next words out of his mouth were: “Pick a date, Marinette.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“A year from today.” She told him decisively. A year gave her enough time to sort out a dress and plan a wedding, and hopefully Madeleine would be walking by then. A year sounded good. Adrien kissed her deeply, pressing her down on to her back and roving her mouth with his tongue. A year sounded reasonable - he’d marry her tomorrow if she wanted, but with a date in mind he was satisfied. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Slow and lazy, they made out with the afterglow of orgasms reducing the urgency of the moment. Kisses came and went, the cuddle remained a constant, casually stroking and cupping body parts by way of exploration and comfort rather than intent. She rested her head against his shoulder and murmured. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We’re doing that again. Like... a lot.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Works for me.” Adrien laughed, snuggling up to her.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Kitchen counter’s about the right height.” She pointed out. They lapsed into silence, curled up and content to the white noise of each other’s heartbeats. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The afterglow waning, Marinette’s brain came back online: thoughts drifting to the wedding, to how often they’d be able to manage something like this, to whether Madeleine had taken her 9pm bottle, to how unashamedly ecstatic she was. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Suddenly she squeaked and Adrien jolted, raising an eyebrow. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Sorry I... sorry! Just had an idea I... I’ll be right back!” She said, wriggling away and leaping out of bed. Adrien blinked in confusion as she vanished, stark naked from the room. He shook his head in amusement: they could be together the rest of their lives and he would never fully understand the way her mind worked. When she didn’t return immediately he yawned, stretching pleasantly sore muscles. He ached and tingled and felt like he’d appreciate a shower... preferably with his absent fiancée. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Where’d she disappear off to anyway? </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He followed her out into the living room. Wrapped in a blanket she was on the sofa with the phone in hand. She looked sad.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What’s wrong?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No change.” She murmured, looking miserably at the device in her hand. Adrien raised an eyebrow. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I just... I called the hospital... I thought...” she sighed. Might as well tell the truth. “I thought maybe it’s a two way street? That if you being hurt had somehow hurt her then maybe you... you being happy would heal her I... I thought she might have woken up.” Marinette mumbled dejectedly. Adrien blinked, hurrying over to her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hey hey, no. None of that. You’ve tried, Marinette. You’ve tried so hard... you don’t need to feel guilty.” He promised, wrapping his arms around her. “Besides... her waking up because we had sex is a little creepy.” He chuckled. Marinette nodded. It had been a stupid idea, the thought having occurred to her out of the blue but it had seemed so sensible. Problems she couldn’t logic her way out of were not her forte. Adrien kissed her hair affectionately, thumb brushing her cheekbone. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“C’mon. We can talk wedding colour schemes in the shower if you like?” He whispered, plying her with thoughts of design to try drag her from her setback. Marinette hummed, before nodding and setting the phone aside. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Sounds perfect, Chaton.” She stood up, tossing the blanket aside and smirking.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Walking, completely bare and unashamed, toward the bathroom. Adrien groaned. Marinette discovering her sexuality was going to kill him... at least it would be a sexy death. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>One more chapter to go and then we are done. Because after all... what’s a love story without a happily ever after?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Chapter 26</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Today’s the day!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div>
  <p>They’d opted out of a church wedding - neither of them were particularly religious and hadn’t felt right with a religious ceremony. The country house they’d chosen instead was glorious, especially in the August sunlight - they hadn’t been able to book for exactly the date they’d wanted, but the extra couple of months had worked in their favour.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Weddings, it turned out, were complicated to plan and Marinette being Marinette was determined to make it absolutely perfect. The outfits, the venue, the decor, the flowers, the wedding parties, the wedding breakfast, the after party, the guests, the photographer, the press presence... all of it. Marinette exhaled heavily. She was fairly certain she had it all in hand. Except the X factor she could not control. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Sweetheart, please don’t eat the flowers.” She begged her daughter who looked up at her cluelessly. Eighteen months old and absolutely adorable in her white and pink dress and tiara, but with a handful of silk flower petals in her little fist... keeping her clean until the ceremony was supposed to be Alya’s job but Alya - as chief bridesmaid, had a million other jobs to do. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“C’mon kitten, none of that.” Nino laughed, walking in and picking up the little girl. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Nono!” Madeleine cheered, dropping most of her petals. She knew a few words now, in context, and Nono could refer to either Nino or something naughty she wasn’t supposed to be doing. In this case: both. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Thought you were supposed to be helping the groom get ready?” Alya asked exasperatedly, helping lace up the back of Marinette’s dress and wondering why her fiancé was in the bride’s dressing room with the female wedding party and not tending to his duties. She fastened the hook/eye clasp on the top of her best friend’s bodice.  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette had outdone herself with the design, by far one of the most complex things she’d ever put together. Themes, she had decided, were not really her thing, but all the same she’d had the words “princess” and “fairytale” in her mind when designing. This was supposed to be their happy ending after all. A pink and white corset bodice, sleeveless, with a traditional white layered skirt, with a miniature, simplified version for her hungry little flower girl. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah, the stylist kicked me out for cracking jokes. So my job as best man is to make sure the groom <em>doesn’t</em> get liquored up before the ceremony, to make sure he <em>does</em> get liquored up after the ceremony, to give a super embarrassing speech, and to ogle the chief bridesmaid.” Nino winked. Alya rolled her eyes but preened all the same, giving a little twirl in her bridesmaid dress. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Sounds about right.” Agreed Sabine, adjusting Gina’s hat. “Nervous, sweetheart?” She asked her daughter over her shoulder. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Very.” Marinette admitted, turning slowly in the mirror to check the dress was as perfect on her as it had been in her memory. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You got Alya to wear a <em>dress</em>, Mari, miracles have already happened today - the wedding’s gonna go fine.” Nino reassured. Madeleine licked another pilfered petal, somehow hoping it would taste better the second time around. “No no, those aren’t very nutritious. How about I find you some real food, yeah?” Marinette and Alya glared at him. “Yeah yeah, I know, don’t get her dress dirty.” He promised, rolling his eyes and carrying her from the room. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Hair, make up, outfit sorted, Marinette took several deep breaths. She’d had just two panic attacks since the one that landed her and Cat Noir in therapy: one at a park when a butterfly had landed on Madeleine’s stroller - a purely harmless red admiral butterfly. The press hadn’t caught that one and she’d been allowed to break down in private, with Adrien and a clueless baby the only real witnesses. The press had caught the one at a movie premiere. Away from Madeleine overnight for the first time, she’d been nervous and on edge all evening but when Adrien had been pulled aside to an interview and asked when they intended to give Madeleine a little brother or sister, she had tripped some sort of mental trap and gone into a full blown panic attack. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Surprisingly the world had been on her side. They seemed to have a soft spot for the underdog who appeared to have kept the son of Hawkmoth on the straight and narrow, and had been far gentler and more supportive than expected, with the majority of Paris’ newspapers defending her moment of weakness and elevating her to some kind of poster girl for Paris’ collective trauma. The fact Alya ran the local celebrity gossip blog helped. Marinette didn’t view her relationship like that, or that she’d rescued Adrien from a lifetime of inevitable evil but Adrien hammed it up and stuck to that line, citing her as his hero whenever asked, without giving any more details on that. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Still, she wanted to avoid another on her wedding day of all occasions. Nothing to fear in a happy ending... apart from the risk of Gabriel pulling some horrific stunt and she had made sure to cover her bases there. <em>Get it together, Mari, Adrien probably isn’t panicking like this. </em></p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>——</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She’s going to run, Plagg. No way in hell is she going to go through with this.” Adrien whispered, pacing his dressing room rapidly. He’d asked Nino to go sequester Madeleine because with his nerves in tatters he desperately needed a cuddle with her but Nino had vanished a small eternity ago. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I thought you got over this: she’s not going to run, Adrien. <em>Chill</em>.” Plagg laughed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Why would she marry <em>me</em>? This... nope. It’s too good to be true. She’s going to realise she’s making a huge mistake and hop on the nearest plane and I’ll never see her again and...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You still having a nervous breakdown?” Nino asked, sweeping in with Madeleine in his arms. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yep. See if you can calm him down.” Plagg sighed exasperatedly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Got the perfect cure. One kitten, right here.” Nino grinned, handing the little girl - temporarily placated with some raisins (dry enough to avoid ruining her dress) - over to her father. Adrien scooped her up. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hello little one.” He greeted, relieved to see her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Papa! Paw!” She cheered, looking at Adrien and Plagg in turn. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette’s dressing room had been heaving. Family and friends fluttering in and out all morning. Adrien, as soon as hair and make up had finished with him, was comfortable with only Plagg and Nino.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Look, wedding day jitters are normal. Your fiancée’s in her dressing room doing the same thing. You love each other, you want to do this. Deep breaths, man. This is a happy day.” Nino promised him. Adrien nodded nervously, adjusting his tie. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah. Yeah, it’s a happy day...” he agreed, nodding slowly and cuddling his daughter. “You look adorable, Maddy.” He promised her. Madeleine’s vocabulary didn’t stretch to ‘adorable’ so she largely ignored the comment in confusion. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Knock knock.” Said a voice from the doorway and Tom’s head poked around. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Gam!” Maddy said excitedly, pleased to see him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“How you holding up, son?” Tom questioned. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Total head case.” Nino informed him, grinning broadly. Adrien glowered at his friend. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Nerves?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Just... waiting for something to go wrong.” Adrien admitted weakly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You think I didn’t spot all the jewellery in the crowds? You’ve both planned for disaster.” Tom laughed. “It’s not going to happen. The biggest issue’s going to be the officiant forgetting a line or the DJ playing the wrong song.” He reassured. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hey!” Nino protested indignantly. He wasn’t going to screw that up, Marinette had practically drilled the playlist for the big dances (the bride and groom’s first, and the father daughter dance) into his head. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Adrien. You love my daughter and she loves you. Nothing’s going to go wrong and if some minor mishap does occur...” Tom clapped him on the shoulder in support. “You’ll handle it together.” He swore. Adrien swallowed hard. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Thank you.” He whispered, comforted. Weirdly, when he’d been adjusting his tie earlier, he had briefly missed his own father. Not Hawkmoth, and not the shadow of a man he’d visited in prison last Christmas, but the man his father had been once upon a time. It had felt, in that moment, like he ought to have his family behind him today... he looked at Tom who was smiling fondly at him and didn’t miss it any more. A father in law was far better than his own father. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“C’mon, son, some haughty British people are asking for you in the lobby.” Tom grinned. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ah, that’ll be my Aunt.” Adrien sighed. He opened the jacket suit and encouraged Plagg to hide in the little comfort pocket Marinette had sewn in for the kwami’s benefit. His own suit was black with soft, sage green piping and lining. Pulling off pink and green together had been his bride’s idea: and she’d done quite a spectacular job of it, toning them both down to pastels and interspersing the decor with white to give the entire hall and their accessories a floral vibe. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He carried Madeleine down the sweeping staircase to where dozens of excitable guests were beginning to congregate in the lobby. Spotting Felix and Amelie wasn’t hard, dressed to the nines and standing awkwardly aside, not knowing anyone in the crowd. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Adrien!” Amelie beamed, rushing up to him and air kissing each of his cheeks so as to not leave lipstick marks. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Glad you could make it.” Adrien said with a genuine smile. His aunt had visited Paris more frequently with Emilie still comatose in the hospital, and had met Madeleine several times - cooing excitedly over the toddler and repeatedly telling Adrien how proud Emilie would be of him. Felix, however, had never actually met Madeleine and the little girl was... confused. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Adrien watched as she turned her head from her father to his cousin, momentarily bewildered as to why there were two of him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Papa!” She said decisively, making grabby hands for Felix who cringed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I... no. No. Not papa.” He said, squirming awkwardly. Adrien laughed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You know what, honey, I see the resemblance too.” He agreed with her, completely at peace with it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“This is all so... grown up.” Felix whispered, eyeing the wedding party. “I can’t believe you have a <em>child</em>.” He admitted, eyeing the still confused toddler warily. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I can’t believe you don’t! Honestly, it’s a different woman each week!” Amelie tittered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Mother!” Felix hissed, embarrassed. Adrien laughed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She’d love all this.” Amelie told him, reaching out and cupping his cheek. Adrien nodded in agreement, fully believing her: his mother had always been a romantic. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She would.” He agreed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“PLACES PEOPLE!” Yelled an usher. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ah. Right. I have to find the chief bridesmaid to hand over the flower girl. I’ll talk to you after.” Adrien promised.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Wait... Which side is for the groom?” Amelie asked, curious.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“If we’d done sides hers would be overflowing and mine would be the two of you and my old bodyguard.” Adrien grinned.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Suits me. I don’t like people.” Felix muttered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Pick a seat not a side.” Adrien told them, vanishing off to hand Madeleine over. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>——</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Pssst Alya.” Whispered Sabine as Alya lead the little girl up the aisle. The room was dimmed, with fairy lights illuminating the aisle and the flower arch at the altar, but even in the soft lighting the sight of the flower girl munching a handful of silk flowers did not go amiss. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“On it.” Alya laughed, reaching down and tugging a petal from the little girl’s mouth. “On the floor.” She reminded her goddaughter, mimicking throwing. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Floor!” Madeleine agreed loudly and proudly, throwing the entire basket. The crowd laughed and Alya kicked the pile of silk petals with her sparkly silver heel to scatter them a little better, hoping the bride wouldn’t trip on them. At the altar Adrien stifled his snicker. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Continuing her journey up the aisle, she only picked Madeleine up when they reached the end of the carpet, letting daddy have a quick kiss before she moved with the little girl to the bride’s side to stand beside Chloé who was overjoyed to the point of a genuine smile at just to be part of the celebrations. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>A piano rendition of the bridal march started, and Tom lead Marinette in on his arm. Adrien swallowed hard. He’d known the dress would be spectacular, but seeing her in it, illuminated by the soft glow of fairy lights, was a whole different euphoria. Every nerve and worry he’d had fled and he couldn’t remember why he’d ever been nervous in the first place as the veiled bride walked up the aisle (neatly sidestepping the upturned basket of petals) and reached his side. Tom handed her over and took his seat, wiping his eyes. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She’s not wearing white!” Whispered an elderly man’s voice from the benches. “Why isn’t she wearing white?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s mostly white.” Corrected a female voice. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Pah! It should be all white.” Complained the man.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You realise they have a child?” Laughed the woman. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What?! That’s not how it’s done!” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Marinette giggled, unable to help it as she listened to her grandparents argue. Adrien gently lifted the veil, unmasking his fiancée for the crowd. He’d always thought her beautiful: from bed head to catwalk she was always stunning, but with her hair down, soft silvery eyelids, matte pink lip lacquer and a white veil cascading down the back of her head she was quite literally breath taking. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hi.” He whispered, awestruck. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hi.” She breathed back. Everything seemed to shimmer and glow, her make up, the lights, the silent congregation - all of it twinkled and sparkled warmly in his vision. Adrien could vaguely hear the officiant talking but all he could see was her. Marinette Dupain-Cheng, stood at the alter, reciting her vows. He didn’t hear a word and cried anyway, watching her face: Content, happy, calm, with tears of joy threatening to fall as she spoke. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She stopped talking and looked at him expectantly. Dazed, in awe of her and thinking he’d missed his cue, Adrien kissed her and the world swam back into focus as the crowd laughed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Not yet, dude!” Nino groaned, smacking his face. Marinette was thankfully laughing too, shaking her head in amusement. “Thought this might happen. I got you, man.” Nino produced a pack of cards and handed them to a blushing Adrien. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh yeah. Vows first.” The blond mumbled, amid the laughter, grateful Nino had made a hard copy. How was he supposed to concentrate on words when Marinette was <em>marrying him</em>? He was very grateful they were filming: he really had wanted to hear her vows. Instead he cleared his throat. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Sorry about that.” He apologised. “Got a little carried away there. Let’s face it - if anyone was going to mess up their lines today it was going to be me.” He cupped the back of his neck and smiled. Half his life he’d been in front of cameras, learning lines, watched - the only pair of eyes in the room that mattered were the blue ones watching him patiently. Adrien calmed once more and cleared his throat.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Marinette... I’ve made so many promises over the years. At thirteen I promised you I’d love you no matter what. At eighteen I promised myself I’d always put you first. The day our daughter was born I promised the universe I’d do anything if you just... stayed with me.” He reached across and took her hand, giving her fingers a light squeeze.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Today I’m supposed to make you promises in front of all our family and friends: the usual promises, to have and to hold, for better or worse... they don’t apply to us. We have each other and always have. We’ve already held each other through the best and through the worst. So I promise instead to always listen when you’re spiralling because the fabric you ordered is cornflower blue instead of powder blue and the world is apparently ending. I promise to remind you every day how amazing you are because you are. And I promise... no matter how bad things get... we go through those moments together because there’s nobody I would rather have by my side for the best moments. I also repeat my earlier promises: I will love you, no matter what. I will always put you first. I promise not even the universe can keep us apart.” He bowed his head gently. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He listened attentively to the next part: the officiant sorting out their legal declarations and the scheduled repetition, the part where they traded rings and this time the cue of </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I now pronounce you man and wife, NOW you may kiss the bride” didn’t go unmissed, pressing his lips to hers and making sure to cradle the side of her face away from the camera. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Madeleine was supposed to throw confetti for the photos, but instead she chewed a handful of pastel pink and green paper while Alya and Chloé quickly rescued what they could and tossed the sprinkles over them. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Arm in arm the two left the hall: officially married. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Did you hear a word of what I said in there?” She asked in a whispered giggle, her skirt sweeping around her as they made their exit. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Nope.” He admitted sheepishly, leading her out into the dazzling sunshine to the car that would take them to the after party. “Got distracted by the beautiful woman. You’ll have to tell me them again later?” He asked hopefully. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Every day.” Marinette promised, laying her head on his shoulder as someone opened the back door of the limo for her. She waved at the cameras before vanishing into the back seat, her husband joining her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>————— </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>If the world had lit up for Adrien at the altar, it quite literally glowed at the after party. Flashing brightly coloured lights criss crossing the crowded dance floor as night fell, illuminated Mr and Mrs signs for photo ops, fairy lights everywhere, cameras both professional and private flashing repeatedly. The world was alight. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Several times during the evening he lost sight of his beautiful bride, when she was swept off by a relative or a friend, but when the first notes of <em>their</em> song rang out from the speakers it didn’t take long to find her, whirling her by the hand onto the dance floor. Maddy somehow, despite the noise of a party surrounding her, was fast asleep with her cheek against her mother’s shoulder as they slow danced. It had been her bed time hours ago, but of all the nights she was allowed to stay up: this had to be one of them. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I love you.” He whispered in her ear.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I love you too.” Marinette smiled, losing herself in the music and the lights. Every movement was tentative for fear of waking the toddler from her slumber after a long day. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Her shoes were starting to pinch her feet, and while the bodice of her dress still looked spectacular, several hours of drinking, socialising and on the dance floor had her worried about a potentially imminent wardrobe malfunction. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I want...” Marinette told him softly, accepting another twirl in lieu of a dip he couldn’t give her with a child clinging to her “to tell you something.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You do know if the next words out of your mouth are ‘I’m pregnant’ I’m going faint... and then maybe sue Duusu?” He warned her. She gave him a look that silenced him out of making jokes about that. A year and a half on and she had no intention of revisiting that topic any time soon. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Resting her head on his shoulder, with Madeleine snoring softly between their chests, she took a deep breath. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“When I was thirteen years old, I had a page in my school planner with your name written all over it in hearts.” Adrien nearly laughed - he fully believed that, and half wished he’d caught her doodling his name all those years ago. “I used to... <em>literally</em> follow you around the schoolyard just... hoping to make eye contact.” She said gently. “I fell in love with this sweet, kind, amazing boy and I’d have followed him anywhere... I want to stand here and tell you all that I never stopped loving that boy...” Adrien paused. You all? Oh. Oh! He was hearing her vows. He barely moved with the music as he listened with full attention this time, trying not to get distracted by how brightly she shone under the dazzle of lights. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Because the man I love now is still just as sweet, just as kind, just as amazing... and I’d still follow him anywhere... but we’re not those teenagers in the school room any more. Half the time it feels like there are at least four of us in this relationship... you can turn me back into that stuttering school girl with a crush so easily, with a wink or a joke.” She murmured, Adrien began to stroke her hair as she spoke, entranced. How on Earth had he spaced during this speech the first time? Every word warmed his heart until he became one with the warm glow of the room. Their song played on and he was reminded of how desperately he’d wanted to kiss her on her eighteenth birthday, he opted not to now only so he didn’t interrupt her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“So my vow is simple. I promise to love you - both those versions of you, who you were to me then, who you are to me now and whoever you might be in a year from now, in five years, ten... whoever you end up being I will love you. And I also promise to never stop doodling your name on my sketchbooks.” She grinned. She could feel the tears falling into her hair and knew she’d made brought him to tears all over again. Delicately her hand brushed his chest. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“My Lady.” He mumbled, kissing her forehead and moving down slightly, nipping the shell of her ear. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“My Prince.” She countered, pulling away from the embrace to look him in the still watery green eyes. “Told you I’d make you cry at our wedding.” She teased. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I never thought... I mean I’ve always known...” he whispered. He couldn’t say it, struggling to try vocalise it any more than he already had. His love for her, his disbelief that in spite of everything they’d finally made it to their wedding day and it had gone off without a hitch. Marinette only grinned at him and nodded, she knew exactly what he meant without him having to say it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s real.” She promised him gently, glancing from him to the tiny tot stirring in her arms. All of it was real and theirs and that joy that burned so fiercely it threatened to burst them both into flames couldn’t be snatched from them now. Not so much a happy ending as another new beginning - one of many. Overcome with emotion, she kissed him deeply and he held her face in both hands to return the sentiment without words.  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ew.” Felix groaned, leaning against the bar with narrowed eyes on his cousin and his bride - not even dancing any more, just standing and kissing. “I know it’s their wedding day but <em>must</em> they?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ah lighten up.” Chloé chided, tucking her skirt a little so she could hop onto the bar stool. Checking her make up in her compact mirror and eyeing the bee comb in her hair to make sure she was still on guard in case she needed to fly in and save the day. For once she hoped she didn’t have to.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Rosé,” she said curtly and it took Felix a confusing moment to realise she wasn’t addressing him but the bar tender. “How’ve you been, Felix?” She wondered aloud - she hadn’t really seen him since they were little and even then she’d preferred Adrien. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Do you actually care or are you just being polite?” Felix quipped. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh wow, I think I’m actually being polite, check me out!” Chloé sassed back without missing a beat. “Seriously though. You okay?” She asked, taking the glass of rosé the bar tender gave her and sipping at it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’ll be fine.” Insisted the blond. He didn’t return the nicety of asking how she was, distracted by the sight of his mother rushing into the room, phone clutched to her chest. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Chloé and Felix watched as Amelie raced across the dance floor with her dress hitched up to her knees in her hurry to reach the couple. Whatever she said to them had the newlyweds wide eyed and running for the nearest exit, wedding garb, baby and all. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh good lord, what’s that damn butterfly done now?” Chloé hissed, setting her glass down and preparing to fight. Around the room several other guests had posed for imminent action too: Alya, Nino, Luka, Kagami, Max, Kim, Alix, Jess and Aeon all getting to their feet as Amelie crossed to her son, still crying and wrapped her arms around him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Mother?” Felix asked, both horrified at being publicly embraced and confused as the crowd of secret heroes approached the trio for answers. Amelie beamed through her tears and simply said: </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She’s awake.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Amid a murmur of shock threatening to turn into a wave of gossip, Alya jumped on stage and grabbed the microphone the band had used to play earlier, clearing her throat. Damage control had been on her list of duties and she wasn’t entirely sure how to explain their absence at their own after party but like any good chief bridesmaid she intended to work with what she had. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Hi uhm, hello.” She announced. “I’m Alya, uh... the bride and groom got called away unexpectedly so...” She looked around a little helplessly, friends and family alike staring up at her. Alya just shrugged and continued with “So I guess... we’re leaving it here.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Because that’s a whole other story... </p><p>Thank you for reading and reviewing! It’s been a journey and a half and I’ve been overwhelmed at the response from you all, honestly your comments have made my day more than once. ❤️ that brings us to the end of the story!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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